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Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

I'm a crystal expert, i can make it clear to you if you have a crystal mystery or need of identification


sky crystal, radiates to thye sky from deep within the earth


power crystal, grants personal strength and charisma


Namaskaram

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Smoremaster
Aug 5, 2009

Don't forget to source your quotes!
do crystals have magic powers?

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

whats the best crystal

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

whats the best crystal to help my j/o sessions

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

THS posted:

whats the best crystal to help my j/o sessions

the best crystal probably covers that

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010

crystals are healing lol

Fallows
Jan 20, 2005

If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.
whats that kind u can smoke i always forget

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

Smoremaster posted:

do crystals have magic powers?

yes

Parallax Scroll posted:

whats the best crystal

imo, fire opal or any very powerful fire crystal e.g. see the mezezo broad stripe on this chart

TOOT BOOT
May 25, 2010

crystals are for faggos

SplitSoul
Dec 31, 2000

jesus christ marie

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

Lawman 0 posted:

crystals are healing lol

currently storming in my location, before the next big storm, take 6-12 normal rocks and place them in your yard... if youre lucky and lightning strikes you might be pleasantly surprised in the morning :) namaste

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009


now i have your fingerprints fucker

Lamebot
Sep 8, 2005

ロボ顔菌~♡

Smoremaster posted:

do crystals have magic powers?

only if you charge them with mutual masturbation hookups thru craigslist

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

which crystal is specifically made for j/o sessions.. im not looking for the best crystal i want something affordable and specialized for j/o sessions

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

THS posted:

whats the best crystal to help my j/o sessions

easy:




good luck with your problems. namaste

Ghaz fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Sep 6, 2014

Rapman the Cook
Aug 24, 2013

by Ralp
How many crystals should I have up my rear end at all times?

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

Parallax Scroll posted:

now i have your fingerprints fucker

lmao... oh whats this in my collection? a body-change crystal? only one charge to morph any 1 basic body feature?

like I said, crystals are very powerful ;)

Rando
Mar 11, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
I could really go for some crystal.

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

Rando posted:

I could really go for some crystal.

are you looking for twink-attracting, performance-enhancing crystal

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

Rapman the Cook posted:

How many crystals should I have up my rear end at all times?

0-3. if you're expert enough to handle more, you'll know when the time is right. namaste

Squatch Ambassador
Nov 12, 2008

What? Never seen a shaved Squatch before?
If you threw a crystal the size of the sun at the sun what would happen?

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

whats the worst crystal

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

Rando posted:

I could really go for some crystal.


THS posted:

are you looking for twink-attracting, performance-enhancing crystal



something like this would be ideal tho obviosuly youll want one that hasn't been smashed open by greedy humans


Hungry Computer posted:

If you threw a crystal the size of the sun at the sun what would happen?

only serious crystal questions itt please and namaste

Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!

Ghaz posted:


power crystal, grants personal strength and charisma


Namaskaram
Nice labradorite.

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

Parallax Scroll posted:

whats the worst crystal

fools gold (pyrite) becuase its used by liars and fools to get what they want. don't have any in my collection to take a pic (for obvious reasons)

Entorwellian
Jun 30, 2006

Northern Flicker
Anna's Hummingbird

Sorry, but the people have spoken.



Are aliens trying to control our crystals?

Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012

What kind of crystal is this?

other than a jo crystal, of course

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

Entorwellian posted:

Are aliens trying to control our crystals?

tbh not an alien expert but I'd assume that any species which has reached intergalactic travel status would have access to all kind of advanced crystals and wouldn't bothewr with ours?

Psygnosis
Jul 30, 2003

Parallax Scroll posted:

whats the best crystal

Crystal Pepsi

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014
how will sticking a crystal up my butt affect my bowel movements? will they be improved, or impeded? i can definitely feel the energy vibrations so i know it's doing something, but i'm worried about the health of my colon

fuck. marry. t-rex
Jan 23, 2014

Lipstick Apathy
how do you feel about smoking crystals

Rando
Mar 11, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

THS posted:

are you looking for twink-attracting, performance-enhancing crystal

If that's what you're selling

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
What's the difference between meth and crystal meth?

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

Benedick Cuckold posted:

how will sticking a crystal up my butt affect my bowel movements? will they be improved, or impeded? i can definitely feel the energy vibrations so i know it's doing something, but i'm worried about the health of my colon

just let nature take it's course and you'll be fine! don't forget to don a crystal touching glove and remove any that you lost from the toilet before you flush thoug

Rando
Mar 11, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

redshirt posted:

What's the difference between meth and crystal meth?

I've never heard anyone say "crystal meth" out loud besides cops.

Rando
Mar 11, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Are you a cop?

ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe
if i have poop that needs to GO AWAY NOW

what crystal should i hold in my hand while straining?

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

Prodigal T-REX posted:

how do you feel about smoking crystals

redshirt posted:

What's the difference between meth and crystal meth?



-___-;;;

Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!

Nanomashoes posted:

What kind of crystal is this?

other than a jo crystal, of course
I'll field this one since no one else answered. It's a quartz.

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Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

ElGroucho posted:

if i have poop that needs to GO AWAY NOW

what crystal should i hold in my hand while straining?

:eyepop:

NEVER DO THIS! I am not a doctor, just a crystal sage, but never strain to lower a BM. You could cause hemorrhoids :siren: or worse :siren:..... you need to find some other way to have a bm, namaste

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