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Listen, I'm not foodist, I have friends who are beef paddies....sorry, all-american beef paddies...and they are fine upstanding, articulate members of society who don't buy into the "free condiments for everyone" socialist claptrap. I'm just saying it's a fact that the vast majority of burgers in this country are lazy criminals, living ketchup packet to ketchup packet, dealing illegal spices, and pumping out sliders just to get more government condiments from MY paycheck.
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Sep 20, 2014 14:03
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im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness!
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Sep 20, 2014 14:03
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visceril posted:im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness!
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Sep 20, 2014 15:51
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visceril posted:im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness! 
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Sep 20, 2014 15:56
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visceril posted:im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness!
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Sep 20, 2014 17:41
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visceril posted:im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness!
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Sep 20, 2014 18:47
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visceril posted:im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness!
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Sep 20, 2014 19:01
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visceril posted:im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness!
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Sep 20, 2014 19:59
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Everdraed posted:
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Sep 20, 2014 20:05
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Sep 20, 2014 20:29
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visceril posted:im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness!
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Sep 20, 2014 20:29
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Everdraed posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvUk8PCXa4E&hd=1 Somebody needs to do this with hitler. 
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Sep 20, 2014 20:44
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visceril posted:im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness!
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Sep 20, 2014 21:17
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Stay safe burger ghost
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Sep 20, 2014 21:51
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No matter how different and unique our cultures are, our dessert menus are all mostly the same
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Sep 20, 2014 23:19
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MizPiz posted:Regulating barbecue may work for you, but all that leads to is censoring styles that may actually have something to contribute to the barbecue dialogue. Sure, it may lead to truly disgusting things like North Carolina barbecue, but it's a price I'm willing to pay for the freedom. motherfucker you take that back about nc barbecue
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Sep 21, 2014 03:22
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visceril posted:im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness! Saclopedia link plz idgi
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Sep 21, 2014 08:27
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 This is a very chicken tender issue we're broiling on. You might think that Oburger is some greasy slabsteak who only got to where he is because he slid his dark meat between a pair of soft white buns, but I'm going to make sure you ketchup on the issue and get to the real meat of the discussion. Our founding burgers were united under the banner of red, white and yellow. Ever since we cooked this fine burgernation, we have been a piping hot soup, with ingredients of every flavor and every color - a soup that we could call home for ourselves and our little dumplings, to sizzle with whoever they please - regardless of their spice, flavor, or consistency. We, the McNation, whose sidewalks are paved with cheese, and our arches are paved in gold. Our founding burgers would be proud of the chicken legacy that they have left behind, because they are the ones who ensured that we would Have It Our Way. Our founding burgers have ensured that the freedom fries that we enjoy today didn't come without a price. Their broth has been spilled for our flavor. They have endured the terrors of being in the greasebaskets, in the sweltering oils...seeing, hearing the greasefires that have consumed patties and helpless nuggets; they can still hear their sizzling to this day. Have you all forgotten when we had toppled the gnocchi regime, so that we may deliver freedom fries to those who had none? What we face today is another helping of the same flavor that we had served all those meals ago. If we don't act now, they will take more than a pizza slice, they will take the whole pie. If we don't put the finishing seasons on the patties that we've already put on the broiler...then I'm afraid that our burgers won't have a family meal to go to when all is said and done.
DeusModus fucked around with this message at 08:34 on Sep 21, 2014 |
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Sep 21, 2014 08:32
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Alan Smithee posted:Saclopedia link plz idgi official version original recipe
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Sep 21, 2014 08:35
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now im starving for mcdonalds thanks
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Sep 21, 2014 17:24
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Philthy posted:now im starving for mcdonalds thanks
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Sep 21, 2014 17:33
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Mycroft Holmes posted:motherfucker you take that back about nc barbecue I wouldn't spare the feelings of neo-nazis, why should I do it for something far worse?
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Sep 21, 2014 17:54
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War.
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Sep 22, 2014 01:16
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We need to find a way that dark meat and white meat can live in peace. We are more than just the color of our meat.
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Sep 22, 2014 02:39
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NakedWithCandy posted:We need to find a way that dark meat and white meat can live in peace. We are more than just the color of our meat. Look I'm not a dietician but... Yes, meats should have the same condiments and sides HOWEVER I think that the liberal abattoirs are going too far when they suggest that white and dark meats should mix. I had a mixed kebab recently and it was awful.
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Sep 22, 2014 06:19
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Look I'm not a dietician but... Yes, meats should have the same condiments and sides HOWEVER I think that the liberal abattoirs are going too far when they suggest that white and dark meats should mix. I had a mixed kebab recently and it was awful. You intolerant gently caress! I will keep on enjoying my mixed burgers, to the point of heart disease if I have to! And I'll do it wherever I like! No meat segregation!
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Sep 22, 2014 07:00
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Remember when we had proper CARNIVOROUS presidents like Ronald McReagan? Not like these homogayboy vegetarians in meat eating clothing
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Sep 22, 2014 08:42
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Alan Smithee posted:Remember when we had proper CARNIVOROUS presidents like Ronald McReagan? I'm lovin it, voted super-size Somewhere in me there's a joke about the McRib and McRiblicans wishing for when the McRib would be back, but in actuality the McRib is horrible, but it won't come together
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Sep 22, 2014 12:55
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Alan Smithee posted:Remember when we had proper CARNIVOROUS presidents like Ronald McReagan? The grease will trickle-down from the deep fryers into the burgers of our most loyal customers
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Sep 22, 2014 15:38
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Alan Smithee posted:Remember when we had proper CARNIVOROUS presidents like Ronald McReagan? "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this Теремок"
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Sep 22, 2014 16:52
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 The real beheader is Oburger
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Sep 22, 2014 18:11
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Randandal posted:
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Sep 22, 2014 19:58
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I think you mean 
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Sep 22, 2014 20:03
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visceril posted:im permabanned poster burgerstomper58. i first started eating fast food when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "lovin' it" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "burger buns" and "i love sitting between burger patties" in my head for hours, and i would get really hungry, start eating things from the corners of my fridge etc, basically pre-diabetic hypertension. im now on a healthy diet. i always wondered what the kind of "lovin' it" style of fast food was all about; i think it's the empty calories leaking in to the condiments, what medical theory considered to be the cause of hypertensive and diabetic syptoms. i would advise all people who "eat" fast food to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to serious physical illness! 
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Sep 22, 2014 20:12
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Randandal posted:
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Sep 22, 2014 20:39
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gently caress that burgerman he aint no master of me.
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Sep 22, 2014 21:25
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Randandal posted:
lol
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Sep 22, 2014 22:06
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One time I went into a McD's and asked for a large cup of water, and the lady said they were only allowed to give out free water in small cups, and I said okay then I'll have four of those please.
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Sep 22, 2014 22:59
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you stupid, stupid oval office, you can't cook a drat thing you loving idiot, this doesn't even have anything to DO with you, KETCHUPSTAIN It's not "being reviewed" that I object to, you insipid bland loving mustard stain DISHRAG. I know how that works, imbecile. Pay loving attention. It's absolute morons like you who think there's such a thing as "bad cooking" - define it, you can't' - and repeat the word "inedible" like a mantra because there's literally NOTHING ELSE you can possibly use, and it's vague enough that it's basically meaningless anyway. I'm a low-brow fry cook at best AND at worst. I always was. And you loving well know it, you critic. YOU KNOW IT. I never served anything that anyone could possibly have remembered the following day. Somehow that means I deserve to be panned. Twice in one week. It's absolute morons like you who loving scream at me for trying to serve simple food instead of screaming at the loving overwrought fancy fad cooker. I KNOW you don't loving care, you stupid CRITICS, I DON'T WANT YOU TO CARE. How can you possibly think I want you to care, you dumb motherfucker? I was trying to make Bourdain boy stop loving making GBS threads up every outlet he can find with his fancy unamerican garbage. That is all I ever wanted, and you think I'm the villain for it. All anyone ever had to do was leave me the gently caress alone, but you loving CAN'T, and you know why? Because I was always going to take the loving fall because that's how the buns are stacked. I'm obviously getting burned, quite possibly permaburned, and all because some critics happened to be bored. Why leave me alone when you can cause a massive burnout/meltdown? How the gently caress DARE you scream at ME for serving simple low quality food so I can be used as a fast-food Fieri Donkey? How the gently caress DARE YOU make ME the loving bad guy in this scenario? And of course, super-sized meals like this are sneered at too. "LOL YOU CARE ABOUT A FAST FOOD JOINT". Yeah, well, guess what, YOU'RE ALSO EATING FAST FOOD, IDIOT. You wouldn't have written that despicable poo poo in your paper if you didn't also care. Besides, I've got a good reason to care. Two, actually. One: I was enjoying cooking here and eating fries out of the deep fryer at the end of the day. It was tasty. It was a fun thing to do. And then people like Five Guys ruined it, ruined this industry for everyone, but hey: he'll probably get loving Zagat for running me out of business. More importantly, this is a business. $7.25 for being kicked in the teeth by a oval office with a Michelin star and then get punished for being kicked in the teeth by a oval office with a Michelin star. In a sane world I'd get unemployment benefits for this poo poo. But that's how the industry works, you see. It's loving home-ec again, only with the sewing removed and just the cooking and grades left. The celebrity chefs don't cook on the kitchen of course, because they're too busy sitting around morning shows wearing suits and laughing with anchors, but the line cooks are in their element. They can finally become the head chefs. They can finally be top of the league, the masters instead of the sous chefs. And so it goes that the cooks themselves divide in exactly the same way, with the most elevated, least healthy-seeming at the top. And under these auspices we all bathe in a ceaseless carnival of negativity, because obviously negativity is what's cool. A salmon filet basted with mustard and garnished with capers? YOU HAVE MY STARS CHEF SIR. Here's a pâté à choux with crème fraîche! EDGY! It doesn't need a point! It just needs to be pointlessly foppish! Here's an eggplant parmigiana reimagined to look like sushi with seaweed! You know, if seaweed was actually tasty, would put it beneath a patty in a gold old-fashioned burger. See, that's inventive cooking. Not just yelling DECONSTRUCTED! LOL! These are the criteria under which I'm judged to be "unrefined" (which assumes I was trying to be refined in the first place, which I usually wasn't, even). Basically what I'm saying is the restaurant industry is poo poo, but it's mostly tolerable except when you get victimised and then victimised again on top of that. I hope you loving die, health inspector, you piece of poo poo. You're scum. You're the worst in the room. You see someone being kicked to death and shut his restaurant down for yelling "Stop". If I could, I'd beat my $7.25 out of you personally through the monitor. No less than I deserve. Obviously no-one read any of this. Mostly you'll have just barked at print and subconsciously translated it into a plate of poo poo. Which, to be far, is accurate, but not adequate. I don't think. (The fact that I've made most of your criticisms of my food already probably won't stop you from making them again like you're really loving original and witty; it didn't last time) The only reason I bother saying all of this is, as I said, I'm obviously getting panned for Five Guys fancy burgers and free goddamned peanuts, so nothing matters and I might as well post a gigatic rant against everything that's wrong with the Industry. That's why I closed my hotdog stand, by the way. Anyway, quote this eight hundred times, take a vote on who's going to be Restaurant of the Year (or whatever) . Hell, get him a Food & Wine feature too. Just send him a loving cash prize. Congratulations, fishman: you're the biggest gently caress in the room. Wasn't this business about frog dogs once instead of being about me? Ah, well. It's obviously entirely my fault for one reason or another.
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Sep 22, 2014 23:34
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this is all 2 much to bear......
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Sep 23, 2014 02:10
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