it's buttcoin.gov now

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > it's buttcoin.gov now

TVarmy: Sep 11, 2011; like food and water, my posting has no intrinsic value

everyone, mlr lingers on this plane because he has unfinished business. he stays because he wants to resolve something he never managed in life.

and that was hearing someone say buttcoin.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 02:14

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 21:48

A Pinball Wizard: Mar 23, 2005; I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands; College Slice

but the ftc said buttcoin. his business is finished, and according to the documentary Casper the friendly ghost that means he should be moving on to the next realm

# ? Oct 18, 2014 02:39

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

um lol if you think he recognizes the authority of the FTC upon this mortal plane

# ? Oct 18, 2014 02:41

bucketmouse: Aug 16, 2004; we con-trol the ho-ri-zon-tal
we con-trol the verrr-ti-cal

# ? Oct 18, 2014 02:43

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

dead or alive, you're coming on my face

# ? Oct 18, 2014 02:48

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

yo killhamster please tell the ftc i haven't received my paycheck for positing negative poo poo about bitcoin on reddit

# ? Oct 18, 2014 02:57

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

bucketmouse posted:

# ? Oct 18, 2014 03:23

ArchWizard: Mar 27, 2009; There's the Roy I know ~~and love~~.

Improbable Lobster posted:

has anyone said robuttcoin yet?

# ? Oct 18, 2014 03:24

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

ArchWizard posted:

has anyone said robuttcoin yet?

# ? Oct 18, 2014 03:25

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

congratulations :toot:

# ? Oct 18, 2014 03:28

Chum Scandal: Oct 30, 2003

bit-ches leave

# ? Oct 18, 2014 03:35

Dren: Jan 5, 2001; Pillbug

TVarmy posted:

everyone, mlr lingers on this plane because he has unfinished business. he stays because he wants to resolve something he never managed in life.

and that was hearing someone say buttcoin.

stay safe smilies ghost

# ? Oct 18, 2014 05:30

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

bucketmouse posted:

# ? Oct 18, 2014 05:33

theadder: Dec 30, 2011

Boxturret posted:

same

# ? Oct 18, 2014 05:50

BobHoward: Feb 13, 2012; The only thing white people deserve is a bullet to their empty skull

TVarmy posted:

it probably comes down to this: instead of managing cash and credit/debit cards in his accounting, now he has to deal with three revenue sources, one which is really tiny and won't do much to attract customers. so now he has to bother with accounting for something he'll make barely any money on.

and the thing is that credit cards and debit cards are widely accepted for a good reason: they make it easier for customers to spend money. stores wouldn't deal with the fees if they weren't drawing in business.

it's like that time (probably a year or two ago now) a bitcoiner got all excited about starting a nude camsite, but with bitcoin. he was going on and on about how the models on the site will love getting a large cut without credit card fees eating their revenue, and how the users would love having something more private than a credit card fee. then he decided to promote it on a stripper forum, and got schooled on how his business model was bad because he's guaranteeing they'd only have a niche audience and that getting a big cut of revenue means nothing if the site doesn't draw in a bunch of paying users.

e: and the reddit post probably said it better.

nah op i think you've got a good and different point. that guy tried to get bitcoiners out of their fee-obsessed mental box by talking about training costs, but even with those (and bitcoin transaction fees) set to 0 for the sake of argument there would still be fatal problems. ten-to-thirty minute confirmations (with random excursions to an hour plus) suck. bitcoin transactions are "free" only if you assume cashier and customer time is worthless. the fanatics can't or won't see this because the cost isn't denominated in bits-and-satoshis, but it's real

the only way to fix it is to do the transactions off-blockchain, in which case you're back at other businesses running a credit card system (but with bitcoin) (and higher costs)

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:08

woozle wuzzle: Mar 10, 2012

Bitcoin Law Update :siren:

I haven't been paying any attention to these threads, so some of this is gonna be stuff you already know. This is long and dumb.

Trendon Shavers: PIRATE!

When last I checked, Pirate was incompetently defending himself from the SEC. As most people know by now, he successfully got himself fined for $40 million dollars. The judge wrote a 25 page opinion, and said in part: "The uncontested summary judgment evidence establishes that Shavers knowingly and intentionally operated BTCST as a sham and a Ponzi scheme".

One interesting takeaway is how the judge calculated damages, because that may set a precedent for other cases. This is the damage analysis:

quote:

The Commission has established through the evidence in this action that Defendants� illicit gains are at least 180,819 bitcoins. A reasonable calculation of disgorgement in U.S. dollars terms (particularly in light of Shavers� willful refusal to produce his verified accounting which has been ordered three times by the Court) utilizes an average daily price of bitcoin from August 26, 2012, when Shavers� scheme collapsed, to today, thus averaging out the effect over this time period of the large fluctuations in the exchange rate of bitcoin to the U.S. dollars. Applying this methodology, the Commission requests that the Court order Defendants to disgorge, on a joint and several basis, $38,638,569, plus prejudgment interest thereon of $1,766,098 (using the IRS underpayment rate, as detailed below), for a total of $40,404,667.

...[long paragraph about the uncertainty of pirate's true bitcoin holdings]...

In any event, the amount of disgorgement ordered �need only be a reasonable approximation of profits casually connected to the violation� and �any risk of uncertainty in calculating disgorgement should fall on the wrongdoer whose illegal conduct created the uncertainty.�

Haha.

Also, Pirate "fired" his attorney on 8/29/14. 8/29 was a hearing date where Pirate represented himself for some reason even though he had a lawyer. Reading between the lines, it's clear that he simply didn't pay his lawyer and that lawyer refused to appear. The $40m fine flowed from this 8/29 hearing. So pro tip: if you're about to have your life ruined by the SEC, pay your lawyer.

I also found a new lawsuit against Pirate. Basically any former investors can sue him and all they need for evidence is this SEC ruling. This lawsuit is likely the first of many. In the unlikely event that Pirate comes into money, the victims/marks/fools will want to have staked their claim to the proceeds. So he's likely to get repeatedly sued all over the place. The lawsuit is styled "1:14-cv-22869-JAL Liquid Bits, Corp. et al v. Shavers et al", filed in Florida, and it's four different individuals that banded together to sue him. They had trouble serving Pirate at first, but they were able to serve his attorney from the SEC case.

It's a funny thing: the lawyer signed a form on 9/4/14 that he acknowledges Pirate's service in this new lawsuit. Yet he was fired on 8/29/14. Default judgment was entered against Pirate because he failed to respond to this lawsuit. What a whacky coincidence. Pro tip #2: seriously, pay your lawyer. The default judgment is 5821 bitcoins. Dollar damages have not yet been calculated, but it'll be like a million bucks. They know they won't collect, it's just to get in line in the event of an SEC payout.

Charlie Shrem, the Bitinstant/Winklevoss guy that guy assisted Silk Road

This was the Winklevi and Bitinstant guy that got caught providing loans and assistance to a Silk Road drug dealer. He was a bitcoin foundation member etc. When we last checked in, he was whining about be on house arrest and protesting his innocence. Nothing huge has happened, but now he's formally charged with felony conspiracy to trafficking narcotics. It's not good. They didn't go white collar wire fraud, they're treating him like he's part of the drug ring. Also it's been ordered that all of his assets are seized. Woops. His life is likely over from what I can see.

In August, the judge denied his motion to dismiss. His argument was that bitcoins aren't money to be regulated, and therefore it doesn't fall under blahblahblah, and therefore "drugs? what drugs?". I'm not reading the whole thing, but the judge's opinion can be found under: Case 1:14-cr-00243-JSR Document 43

Ross Ulbricht: Dread Pirate Roberts of Silk Road

This guy is in the slammer awaiting trial, and Roger Ver is apparently trying to assist his legal defense fund. I don't know anything about that, but he has 3 attorneys in the case and they all have expensive sounding names like Smirtowitz. There's a huge flurry of motions; somebody is paying a huge legal bill. There will be a jury trial over the winter. Right now they're fighting over jury selection issues. There are 92 docket entries so far (each entry is a motion, letter, etc).

In August he was indicted on seven felony charges: Narcotics trafficking, distribution of narcotics on the internet, conspiracy to traffic narcotics, criminal enterprise, computer hacking, fraudulent identification, and money laundering. He doesn't appear to be indicted over the hitman stuff, they're just trying to crush him for Silk Road.

The defense filed motions to suppress evidence over the summer. There were 14 warrants to obtain evidence that he tried to suppress (every computer, his router, his email address, his facebook, his home, his ISP's, etc). The FBI had 3 warrants with Comcast. All 14 warrants survived. The judge wrote a 38 page opinion that I'm not going to read, but it ends by denying everything Ulbricht asked for and full steam ahead to trial. That evidence is not guaranteed to get in at trial, but his guilt or innocence likely hangs on what evidence makes it. Right now it's all in. The expensive legal defense is not really panning out so far.

If I had to bet money, Shrem will plead out to something. But Ulbricht is going all the way to a jury trial. No date has been set yet. One of the last docket entries is a letter from the judge that asks the attorneys, in the theoretical, in the event the judge took an extended christmas vacation, what's a good week for them in the Spring. At some point there will be a well-publicized jury trial. Neither side will bend.

Is there anything else specific that people were wondering about in this case or whatever else? Roger Ver's name isn't apparent in anything I can see. That's about it. Woo!

woozle wuzzle fucked around with this message at 06:17 on Oct 18, 2014

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:14

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

woozle wuzzle posted:

Bitcoin Law Update

I haven't been paying any attention to these threads, so some of this is gonna be stuff you already know. This is long and dumb.

Trendon Shavers: PIRATE!

When last I checked, Pirate was incompetently defending himself from the SEC. As most people know by now, he successfully got himself fined for $40 million dollars. The judge wrote a 25 page opinion, and said in part: "The uncontested summary judgment evidence establishes that Shavers knowingly and intentionally operated BTCST as a sham and a Ponzi scheme".

One interesting takeaway is how the judge calculated damages, because that may set a precedent for other cases. This is the damage analysis:

Haha.

Also, Pirate "fired" his attorney on 8/29/14. 8/29 was a hearing date where Pirate represented himself for some reason even though he had a lawyer. Reading between the lines, it's clear that he simply didn't pay his lawyer and that lawyer refused to appear. The $40m fine flowed from this 8/29 hearing. So pro tip: if you're about to have your life ruined by the SEC, pay your lawyer.

I also found a new lawsuit against Pirate. Basically any former investors can sue him and all they need for evidence is this SEC ruling. This lawsuit is likely the first of many. In the unlikely event that Pirate comes into money, the victims/marks/fools will want to have staked their claim to the proceeds. So he's likely to get repeatedly sued all over the place. The lawsuit is styled "1:14-cv-22869-JAL Liquid Bits, Corp. et al v. Shavers et al", filed in Florida, and it's four different individuals that banded together to sue him. They had trouble serving Pirate at first, but they were able to serve his attorney from the SEC case.

It's a funny thing: the lawyer signed a form on 9/4/14 that he acknowledges Pirate's service in this new lawsuit. Yet he was fired on 8/29/14. Default judgment was entered against Pirate because he failed to respond to this lawsuit. What a whacky coincidence. Pro tip #2: seriously, pay your lawyer. The default judgment is 5821 bitcoins. Dollar damages have not yet been calculated, but it'll be like a million bucks. They know they won't collect, it's just to get in line in the event of an SEC payout.

Charlie Shrem, the Bitinstant/Winklevoss guy that guy assisted Silk Road

This was the Winklevi and Bitinstant guy that got caught providing loans and assistance to a Silk Road drug dealer. He was a bitcoin foundation member etc. When we last checked in, he was whining about be on house arrest and protesting his innocence. Nothing huge has happened, but now he's formally charged with felony conspiracy to trafficking narcotics. It's not good. They didn't go white collar wire fraud, they're treating him like he's part of the drug ring. Also it's been ordered that all of his assets are seized. Woops. His life is likely over from what I can see.

In August, the judge denied his motion to dismiss. His argument was that bitcoins aren't money to be regulated, and therefore it doesn't fall under blahblahblah, and therefore "drugs? what drugs?". I'm not reading the whole thing, but the judge's opinion can be found under: Case 1:14-cr-00243-JSR Document 43

Ross Ulbricht: Dread Pirate Roberts of Silk Road

This guy is in the slammer awaiting trial, and Roger Ver is apparently trying to assist his legal defense fund. I don't know anything about that, but he has 3 attorneys in the case and they all have expensive sounding names like Smirtowitz. There's a huge flurry of motions; somebody is paying a huge legal bill. There will be a jury trial over the winter. Right now they're fighting over jury selection issues. There are 92 docket entries so far (each entry is a motion, letter, etc).

In August he was indicted on seven felony charges: Narcotics trafficking, distribution of narcotics on the internet, conspiracy to traffic narcotics, criminal enterprise, computer hacking, fraudulent identification, and money laundering. He doesn't appear to be indicted over the hitman stuff, they're just trying to crush him for Silk Road.

The defense filed motions to suppress evidence over the summer. There were 14 warrants to obtain evidence that he tried to suppress (every computer, his router, his email address, his facebook, his home, his ISP's, etc). The FBI had 3 warrants with Comcast. All 14 warrants survived. The judge wrote a 38 page opinion that I'm not going to read, but it ends by denying everything Ulbricht asked for and full steam ahead to trial. That evidence is not guaranteed to get in at trial, but his guilt or innocence likely hangs on what evidence makes it. Right now it's all in. The expensive legal defense is not really panning out so far.

If I had to bet money, Shrem will plead out to something. But Ulbricht is going all the way to a jury trial. No date has been set yet. One of the last docket entries is a letter from the judge that asks the attorneys, in the theoretical, in the event the judge took an extended christmas vacation, what's a good week for them in the Spring. At some point there will be a well-publicized jury trial. Neither side will bend.

Is there anything else specific that people were wondering about in this case or whatever else? Roger Ver's name isn't apparent in anything I can see. That's about it. Woo!

you're doing god's work, thank you

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:17

Dren: Jan 5, 2001; Pillbug

woozle, I appreciate the update. I think people really want to hear about the FTC v Butterfly Labs, which you haven't covered. If you could spare some time for that people would much appreciate it. Thanks.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:27

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

you really need to read all the butterfly labs stuff, if only because you should find it hilarious

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:28

Chocobo: Oct 15, 2012; Here comes a new challenger!; Oven Wrangler

pirate is the best bitcoiner

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:29

Notorious b.s.d.: Jan 25, 2003; by Reene

woozle wuzzle posted:

Bitcoin Law Update

thank god you are reading this stuff so i don't have to

it reminds me of popehat but in a good way

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:38

Same Great Paste: Jan 14, 2006

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

thank god you are reading this stuff so i don't have to

it reminds me of popehat but in a good way

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:42

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

woozle wuzzle posted:

thanks for that!

we've come so far from a phone falling off a chair

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:43

fermun: Nov 4, 2009

woozle wuzzle posted:

Bitcoin Law Update
Charlie Shrem, the Bitinstant/Winklevoss guy that guy assisted Silk Road

This was the Winklevi and Bitinstant guy that got caught providing loans and assistance to a Silk Road drug dealer. He was a bitcoin foundation member etc. When we last checked in, he was whining about be on house arrest and protesting his innocence. Nothing huge has happened, but now he's formally charged with felony conspiracy to trafficking narcotics. It's not good. They didn't go white collar wire fraud, they're treating him like he's part of the drug ring. Also it's been ordered that all of his assets are seized. Woops. His life is likely over from what I can see.

In August, the judge denied his motion to dismiss. His argument was that bitcoins aren't money to be regulated, and therefore it doesn't fall under blahblahblah, and therefore "drugs? what drugs?". I'm not reading the whole thing, but the judge's opinion can be found under: Case 1:14-cr-00243-JSR Document 43

Ross Ulbricht: Dread Pirate Roberts of Silk Road

This guy is in the slammer awaiting trial, and Roger Ver is apparently trying to assist his legal defense fund. I don't know anything about that, but he has 3 attorneys in the case and they all have expensive sounding names like Smirtowitz. There's a huge flurry of motions; somebody is paying a huge legal bill. There will be a jury trial over the winter. Right now they're fighting over jury selection issues. There are 92 docket entries so far (each entry is a motion, letter, etc).

In August he was indicted on seven felony charges: Narcotics trafficking, distribution of narcotics on the internet, conspiracy to traffic narcotics, criminal enterprise, computer hacking, fraudulent identification, and money laundering. He doesn't appear to be indicted over the hitman stuff, they're just trying to crush him for Silk Road.

The defense filed motions to suppress evidence over the summer. There were 14 warrants to obtain evidence that he tried to suppress (every computer, his router, his email address, his facebook, his home, his ISP's, etc). The FBI had 3 warrants with Comcast. All 14 warrants survived. The judge wrote a 38 page opinion that I'm not going to read, but it ends by denying everything Ulbricht asked for and full steam ahead to trial. That evidence is not guaranteed to get in at trial, but his guilt or innocence likely hangs on what evidence makes it. Right now it's all in. The expensive legal defense is not really panning out so far.

If I had to bet money, Shrem will plead out to something. But Ulbricht is going all the way to a jury trial. No date has been set yet. One of the last docket entries is a letter from the judge that asks the attorneys, in the theoretical, in the event the judge took an extended christmas vacation, what's a good week for them in the Spring. At some point there will be a well-publicized jury trial. Neither side will bend.

Is there anything else specific that people were wondering about in this case or whatever else? Roger Ver's name isn't apparent in anything I can see. That's about it. Woo!

weren't the ross ulbricht murder-for-hire charges in maryland and this is just the new york cases?

didn't charlie shrem plead guilty to something in early september? what did he plead guilty to if the criminal case is still ongoing?

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:54

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

this is hilarious, thanks

# ? Oct 18, 2014 07:17

vOv: Feb 8, 2014

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

thank god you are reading this stuff so i don't have to

it reminds me of popehat but in a good way

how is popehat anyway, i've never bothered with it

# ? Oct 18, 2014 07:18

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Shrem is definitely pleading. Sentencing is in January.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 07:23

Herman Merman: Jul 6, 2008

Dixie Cretin Seaman posted:

tbc made a good point too that porn sites live off of automatic monthly charges that you can't do with bitcoin

excuse me but colored smart counterparty-bitmasterwikicontracts will enable this any year now and then it's singularity time

# ? Oct 18, 2014 07:31

raminasi: Jan 25, 2005; a last drink with no ice

woozle wuzzle posted:

It's a funny thing: the lawyer signed a form on 9/4/14 that he acknowledges Pirate's service in this new lawsuit. Yet he was fired on 8/29/14. Default judgment was entered against Pirate because he failed to respond to this lawsuit. What a whacky coincidence. Pro tip #2: seriously, pay your lawyer. The default judgment is 5821 bitcoins. Dollar damages have not yet been calculated, but it'll be like a million bucks. They know they won't collect, it's just to get in line in the event of an SEC payout.

how long can the lawyer be pirate's attorney enough that he can be served on pirate's behalf but not so much that he can just throw the paperwork away

# ? Oct 18, 2014 08:30

text editor: Jan 8, 2007

woozle wuzzle posted:

Charlie Shrem

formally charged with felony conspiracy to trafficking narcotics

lol holyyy gently caress

# ? Oct 18, 2014 09:59

ZeeToo: Feb 20, 2008; I'm a kitty!

woozle wuzzle posted:

It's a funny thing: the lawyer signed a form on 9/4/14 that he acknowledges Pirate's service in this new lawsuit. Yet he was fired on 8/29/14. Default judgment was entered against Pirate because he failed to respond to this lawsuit. What a whacky coincidence. Pro tip #2: seriously, pay your lawyer.

all of this is great, but this is the best :haw:

# ? Oct 18, 2014 10:15

Ron Paul Atreides: Apr 19, 2012; Uyghurs situation in Xinjiang? Just a police action, do not fret. Not ongoing genocide like in EVIL Canada.

I am definitely not a tankie.

in this moment I am euphoric (because woozle posted)

the laffs must flow

# ? Oct 18, 2014 10:20

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

this is all good for Bitcoin though

# ? Oct 18, 2014 10:53

poik007: Aug 16, 2006; Thinks Mother 3 is the best game ever

well it's eliminating bad actors and putting butts right in the spotlight, also ross will use one weird trick judges hate and he will be declared innocent

# ? Oct 18, 2014 11:27

Sweevo: Nov 8, 2007; i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

woozle wuzzle posted:

Trendon Shavers: PIRATE!

Charlie Shrem, the Bitinstant/Winklevoss guy that guy assisted Silk Road

Ross Ulbricht: Dread Pirate Roberts of Silk Road

Dear non-existent God, please make one of them try the gold-fringe defence. Amen

# ? Oct 18, 2014 11:35

Alliterate Addict: Jul 10, 2012; dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes

GrumpyDoctor posted:

how long can the lawyer be pirate's attorney enough that he can be served on pirate's behalf but not so much that he can just throw the paperwork away

dunno about you but if i got stiffed by a client and knew i could convince them to meet me somewhere by saying "no of course i'll do stuff for you for another month, i trust you'll pay me for real this time" i'd drat well serve them if someone asked me to

# ? Oct 18, 2014 11:53

sleepy gary: Jan 11, 2006

what kind of dumbass attorney would have ever thought he'd get paid by a guy who ran an immensely successful ponzi scheme but then proceeded to lose everything gambling and to theft and general incompetence and has a negative real-money net worth?

# ? Oct 18, 2014 11:56

Alliterate Addict: Jul 10, 2012; dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes

probably the lawyer who couldn't believe someone who made that much money on a successful ponzi would really actually lose all of it

# ? Oct 18, 2014 11:58

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

uh I think you'll find he made bitcoins, not money

# ? Oct 18, 2014 12:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 8, 2024 21:48

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

Alan Smithee posted:

First directive: scam the public trust
Second directive: pretend to be innocent
Third directive: break the law
Fourth directive: (classified)
no refunds unless poo poo goes viral

i'd buy that for a dollar

no wait two dollars

a dime

jony ive aces fucked around with this message at 15:02 on Oct 18, 2014

# ? Oct 18, 2014 12:55

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > it's buttcoin.gov now

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