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 "FIRE THE TORBURRITOS!" You yell over the comms. Elsewhere on the ship you miss an eye roll from Natalia as she overrides the airlock blast doors. The torburritos fly directly out towards the other ship at the speed of a type of Mexican food consisting of a wheat flour tortilla wrapped or folded into a cylindrical shape to completely enclose the filling.  You wait for several moments and it's to you that this is taking too long. You begin to push that one button that makes the screen go red and such over and over again, and then some more. You glaze over and become calm and serene. There's just something about a good button press isn't there?  The calmness washes over you and suddenly it's no longer enough, you've developed an insatiable desire to push all of the buttons some more. You stand, flailing over the keyboard. The screen flashes red, almost strobe like.  Somewhere in the madness that you find yourself in, you manage to catch parts of the AI's giggling voice. "Captain! .... reading power fluctuations... electrical discharges... unstable... immediate... danger"  As you open your mouth to respond, your diligent torburritos finally hit their mark. You stare, fixated at the monitors. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem for any ship but electrical discharges from a quantum based cloaking system and foiled wrapped snack foods are generally seen to not be a healthy combination. You never asked Arthur about what exactly was in his frozen burritos, but given the molten chunks currently peppering the other ship fill of holes you shudder to think what would happen to your lower intestine.  You stand up straight and calmly engage the comms. "gently caress YEAH!" You shout. The other ship appears lifeless on the monitor and all the flashing colours from 1c3's screen have stopped. You notice it start to move on its own, Natalia informs you that it's now caught in the gravity well of the gas giant. A. Begin a exceedingly dangerous mission to board a mysterious ship that's falling into the gas giant. B. Now that, you assume, the threat is gone.. explore the system in depth. C. Time to get the gently caress out of here, go back to the outpost and inform the feds about what you've seen. D. A written in crazy plan
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Dec 19, 2014 20:46
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| # ? May 16, 2024 16:11 |
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D - Weld the ship to ours and bring it home!
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Dec 19, 2014 22:10
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gently caress yeah. Paging Mexican Deathgasm to the thread. Your time came. ^^Duh, D, weld the ship. Obviously. "Did you roll your eyes at me? Or is that just how you batt your eyelashes where your from? *wink* Ready to follow your valiant captain into uncertain death? "
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Dec 19, 2014 22:12
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Ralith posted:D - Weld the ship to ours and bring it home! This is a good plan. But also D.a - Drink to victory! Drinks for everyone! Except 1c3 he's too young to be drinking.
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Dec 19, 2014 23:55
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Abyssal Squid posted:This is a good plan. But also D.a - Drink to victory! Drinks for everyone! Except 1c3 he's too young to be drinking. This. Drinking and welding go great together!
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Dec 20, 2014 01:21
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B
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Dec 20, 2014 01:24
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It's a little known fact that our captain is a master Drunk-welder!
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Dec 20, 2014 01:37
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Just to be clear, are we welding with tools or with one of our hands? Or both? And who do you want to weld with you if anyone? One is very loving dangerous, the other is seriously very loving dangerous.
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Dec 22, 2014 10:08
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With tools, if we have them, and with Natalia and Cassandra so we can impress them.
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Dec 22, 2014 20:31
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All of the D's.
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Dec 22, 2014 20:37
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stevey666 posted:Just to be clear, are we welding with tools or with one of our hands? Or both? And who do you want to weld with you if anyone? Welder in one hand, use our natural welding ability with the other. We'll get the job done in half the time!
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Dec 22, 2014 22:03
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All of the above. And take 1c3, maybe he can have an accident.
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Dec 22, 2014 22:08
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What's the dimmest thing we can do? Do that.
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Dec 22, 2014 22:38
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Phearson posted:Welder in one hand, use our natural welding ability with the other. We'll get the job done in half the time! This. And bring everyone to have a weld off. Whoever finishes their assigned section first wins a night with a prostitute at the next port
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Dec 22, 2014 23:28
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Colonel Wood posted:This. And bring everyone to have a weld off. Whoever finishes their assigned section first wins a night with a prostitute at the next port Unless it's Natalia or Cassandra. If they win, they get a night with Hugh!
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Dec 23, 2014 04:25
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Colonel Wood posted:This. And bring everyone to have a weld off. Whoever finishes their assigned section first wins a night with a prostitute at the next port
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Dec 24, 2014 21:20
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You have a plan. An exceedingly dangerous and ballsy plan. Perfect to look like a bad-rear end and/or die a horrible horrible death, the kind of death where you WISH buckets were needed. You leave that last part out when explaining this to the crew of course. They are not happy and as evidenced by the fact they have not mutinied yet, they must be drunk in some manner.. which means that your plan is a go! As a note, you completely ignored Natalia's cries of how much of a bad idea this is. Almost the entire crew exit the ship to begin welding. Arthur stays behind and under your orders, prepares more torburritos.. just in case. (Just in case you are hungry from all the welding I mean). You separate everyone out to pre-assigned sections as the AI matches the velocity and heading of the falling ship. Your cry of 'Winner gets to bed me' is met with groaning but your follow up of 'or someone from a pleasure house of the next outpost we land out' gets a few cheers.  You all begin welding, it's slow work and the gas giant looms ever bigger. As you near an intersection with Natalia and Cassandra (funny how you all coincidentally meet up around the same time, must excellent planning from fate eh Hugh?) you unhook a glove and 'weld' with your white hand. The metals of the ships are malleable in your grip, it occurs to you just how dangerous your hand.. or Burger.. could be with the correct terrible plan. Work progresses when suddenly you feel heavy vibrations, for a second lights on the other ship flash on and then die once more. Before you can shout 'gently caress! Someone is alive in that thing!' Cassandra yells over the comms "gently caress! Someone is alive in that thing! I can see one of the airlocks.. it's opened!" You see flashes of weapon fire and a suited being lazily detaches itself from the conjoining ships. Your eyes track its slow movements as more weapon fire slashes across it, ripping the suit open. Either blood has soaked the contents, or they were wearing a red shirt.  You need to act. Fast. A. EVERYONE. WEAPONS HOT. WE GOT COMPANY. - This option will greatly reduce the chance of successfully welding the ship in time (assuming everyone is alive) B. CASSANDRA. HUNT THEM DOWN. C. EVERYONE KEEP WELDING. I'LL GET THE BASTARDS. D. Other crazy plan stevey666 fucked around with this message at 23:51 on Dec 28, 2014 |
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Dec 28, 2014 20:01
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B
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Dec 28, 2014 20:07
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D Arthur come out with a launcher and cover us with some torburritos!
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Dec 28, 2014 20:54
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Edit: changed to D Volmarias fucked around with this message at 03:22 on Dec 29, 2014 |
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Dec 28, 2014 21:32
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B.
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Dec 28, 2014 22:11
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C, to test my theory that we will keep having continues so long as we have plenty of quarters to buy extra lives.
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Dec 28, 2014 23:11
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D. "Everybody, let go of the ship! 1c3 (or AI, whoever is more appropriate), electrify the hull!" The ships are partially welded together. With any luck, we'll fry the bastards in the open airlock. Edit: I realize our ship may not come equipped with a system to electrify the hull, but this detail doesn't matter to Hugh. Decisive action (and lots of alcohol) are what matter to Hugh. Details are for other people to worry about! Phearson fucked around with this message at 02:21 on Dec 29, 2014 |
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Dec 29, 2014 02:18
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Phearson posted:D. "Everybody, let go of the ship! 1c3 (or AI, whoever is more appropriate), electrify the hull!" Best worst/worst best plan All our dicking around with our ships electricals makes this a potentially viable plan? I'm confused how we haven't accidentally done it already. Edit: I hope another red shirt let's go too hard and drifts into the gravity well. Outrail fucked around with this message at 03:48 on Dec 29, 2014 |
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Dec 29, 2014 02:23
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Outrail posted:Best worst/worst best plan Hugh doesn't do anything by "accident"
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Dec 29, 2014 02:25
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Phearson posted:D. "Everybody, let go of the ship! 1c3 (or AI, whoever is more appropriate), electrify the hull!" I like the cut of your jib. Make it so!
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Dec 29, 2014 02:37
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Phearson posted:D. "Everybody, let go of the ship! 1c3 (or AI, whoever is more appropriate), electrify the hull!" voting for this
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Dec 29, 2014 03:22
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Phearson posted:D. "Everybody, let go of the ship! 1c3 (or AI, whoever is more appropriate), electrify the hull!" Swapping my vote to this
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Dec 29, 2014 03:23
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Oh GOOD LORD. You do have some general knowledge of this universes science fiction.. well.. science fact here. Yes it's possible to output all your capacitors into the hull and this is incredibly dangerous for approximately, and this is just a ballpark figure, 7 reasons.
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Dec 29, 2014 14:55
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Well, we're just going to have to assume that Hugh had been able to mitigate 5 of those reasons during alcohol-fueled fugue states. I'm not opposed to rolling the dice on the other two.
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Dec 29, 2014 15:25
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stevey666 posted:... this is incredibly dangerous for approximately, and this is just a ballpark figure, 7 reasons. So you're saying it could get someone injured or even killed? Given that's our stated goal I only assume you're telling us what an excellent idea it is (which is strange because the tone of your post indicates you might think it is a terrible idea). Anyway, let's power this fucker up.
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Dec 29, 2014 15:37
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Outrail posted:So you're saying it could get someone injured or even killed? Given that's our stated goal I only assume you're telling us what an excellent idea it is (which is strange because the tone of your post indicates you might think it is a terrible idea). Anyway, let's power this fucker up. I think its a challenge to continue to think of the worst/best courses of action
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Dec 29, 2014 17:19
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Colonel Wood posted:I think its a challenge to continue to think of the worst/best courses of action Just another way of saying "outside the box" really
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Dec 29, 2014 17:29
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"Everybody, let go of the ship. NOW." You shout, giving them a second to respond and begin to ask why the gently caress would should they do that. Again, you shout "NOW." The Captainly tone forcing them to override their instincts and perform the order. "AI. Dump the.. um.. Capacitors.. into the .. hull. YES. Electrify the hull! NOW!" Once again, oozing Captainliness. The AI follows the order. The hull is electrified. You don't really see anything, that's for the movies, being a vacuum there are not enough particles to excite. What I'm saying is, thanks to being in space, you don't specifically SEE the large amount of electricity flowing into you. You need air to create an arc. Speaking of air, as it gets a touch harder to breathe you realise your oxygen system is hosed. You try to yell over the comms.. also hosed. HUD is hosed. While this is not particularly good for you, it means that whoever was clinging to the hull would be even more hosed.. right? You flail your arms, trying to grab onto the ship that's just out of reach, with the gas giant ever looming and your oxygen depleting.. you're running out of options. You seem motion to your right, a figure in a strange looking exo-suit lazily moving towards your general direction... looking quite charred.  Well that settles one question at least. Well now what the gently caress do you do? A. Flail some more, attempt to throw something from your suit to gather momentum and fling you towards the other ship. Maybe you'll be able to get to the Lobsters airlock before you run out of oxygen. B. Wait for rescue, conserve oxygen and hope that somebody is doing significantly better than you are C. Grab the figure in the exo-suit heading towards you, incase it has any useful parts, if not then attempt to use it to kick off and gain momentum.. shooting you in the direction of the Lobster's airlock. You hope. D. Other crazy plan Note: You're a lucky gently caress in general, but there is a higher than normal chance of death after that last excellent decision. Interesting times.
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Dec 29, 2014 18:17
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D. Use our welding torch as a hand-held maneuvering thruster to push us back towards the ship
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Dec 29, 2014 18:45
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C, grabbing corpses is always a great idea. Suspected corpses.
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Dec 29, 2014 19:02
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D. Hugh doesn't do anything small, so he should have a fuel tank for the welding torch attached to his suit, and a nice, long hose going from it to the torch itself. None of this "all-in-one" handheld crap. Hearkening back to his days spent in the space rodeo, he should have no problem throwing the torch and catching it on the ship to pull himself in.
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Dec 29, 2014 19:17
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C and D Grab the body and rig the welder to it to use as a thruster. If we need a TURBO-BOOST we can tap the O2 tank on the body and rig the line to the welder
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Dec 29, 2014 20:19
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C and D So what if the rest of the crew is currently hauling themselves back towards the ship using the insulated tethers (aka nylon rope) that, not being complete idiots, they attached themselves to the ship with before letting go! It's time to be CAPTAINLY and TAKE ACTION and HUG AN ALIEN CORPSE WHILE JETPACKING WITH A WELDER.
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Dec 29, 2014 20:27
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| # ? May 16, 2024 16:11 |
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C & D
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Dec 29, 2014 21:22
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