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"I hit my eye on the door"- mentally handicapped woman saying this out loud to no one in particular "Let me show you inside this van." - Car salesman showing a customer a new car "Hey little girl, do you want this candy?" - A candy store shopkeeper asking a child regarding a particular sweet Allahu Akbar!- a phrase commonly heard in the neighborhood mosque during prayer. "I am going to kill the boss" - a 10 year old regarding some vacuous video game challenge makes you think i hope
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Jan 10, 2015 00:10
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" " -me, right now.(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 10, 2015 00:12
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"Oops" ~ any anesthesiologist
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Jan 10, 2015 00:13
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"Eat your heart" -- The text under Top City Homo's avatar
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Jan 10, 2015 00:13
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All your base are belong to us
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Jan 10, 2015 00:14
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Do you have stairs in your house
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Jan 10, 2015 00:14
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"Freedom isn't Free" - My Korean Boss
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Jan 10, 2015 00:14
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killaer posted:My Korean Boss Wanna see this sitcom.
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Jan 10, 2015 00:18
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Trollologist posted:Wanna see this sitcom.
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Jan 10, 2015 00:22
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unassertive boy 99 posted:Do you have stairs in your house- a prospecting building contractor regarding the new floorplans to your house
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Jan 10, 2015 00:24
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I've determined if you want to sound absolutely bat poo poo insane, just start trying to explain any given run in the Binding of Isaac to someone. If you don't know the game, you'll sound like an incoherent mental patient. "So I found these scissors so you can cut off your own head and cry blood." "One time, I ran into the four horsemen of the apocalypse in mom's womb, but they had no chance, because I had cancer." Just a couple examples. Blazing Ownager fucked around with this message at 00:28 on Jan 10, 2015 |
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Jan 10, 2015 00:24
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"Hey mate, how much for a tranny?" - Australian asking mechanic how much it costs for a new transmission
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Jan 10, 2015 00:25
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unconfortabley close-talking shakespeare quoter
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Jan 10, 2015 00:27
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Blazing Ownager posted:I've determined if you want to sound absolutely bat poo poo insane, just start trying to explain any given run in the Binding of Isaac to someone. That game owns
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Jan 10, 2015 00:28
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"That one looks like a hard worker, I'll take it." - A man buying slaves
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Jan 10, 2015 00:28
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"i am going to kill you" -your doctor after you ask him to perform doctor-assisted suicide during the last stage of your life
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Jan 10, 2015 00:28
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"Bomb has been planted" -- A young man's computer while playing counter-strike
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Jan 10, 2015 00:29
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Trollologist posted:"That one looks like a hard worker, I'll take it." - A man buying slaves lol
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Jan 10, 2015 00:29
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i used to work at a restaurant with a crazy old transient dude who liked to hang out on our patio. he would babble on about crazy stuff and one time I remember him saying "both my grandfathers were barbers. both my grandfthers drove cars. both my grandfathers are dead", he sounded kinda like retarded or something and i got kinda spooked (i was only a teen at the time)
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Jan 10, 2015 01:42
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"you've had your chance, now we've got the mandate. if you've changed your mind, i'm afraid it's too late. we're concerned you're a threat, you're not integral to the project" oh whew it's just a pet shop boys song
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Jan 10, 2015 01:45
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 Tail of a United flight from San Francisco to Hong Kong.
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Jan 10, 2015 01:48
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"What a beautiful shade of blue you're turning "-Willy Wonka to that one chick
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Jan 10, 2015 01:49
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"Once this timer reaches zero, the entire Earth will be destroyed!"-a man referring to metaphorical destruction that accompanies the creation of a new understanding. He is a Buddhist and the timer is counting down until his next prayer session. "There is no antidote"-a teacher explaining there is no antidote to a poison asked about in class. It is a poison control class so such a question is not out of place. "Time to dye" -a tailor dying clothes.
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Jan 10, 2015 05:34
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Applewhite posted:"Once this timer reaches zero, the entire Earth will be destroyed!"-a man referring to metaphorical destruction that accompanies the creation of a new understanding. He is a Buddhist and the timer is counting down until his next prayer session. Applewhite is the beautiful flower that grows out of the dung heap of my threads
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Jan 10, 2015 08:11
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If it weren't for my horse...
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Jan 10, 2015 08:11
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Top City Homo posted:"I hit my eye on the door"- mentally handicapped woman saying this out loud to no one in particular me- hey kid, you want a cookie.-me work in a bakery.
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Jan 10, 2015 08:16
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"Welcome to my basement of horrors" -man joking around with his friend who he invited down to his messy basement. "I'm raping you right now and I will never face any legal consequences" -Male Lion to female lion who he's raping (translated from Lion language). "You will spend eternity in Hell for your sins!" -Right-wing Evangelist speaking to the general homosexual population through his TV show. "You'll pay for that!" -Cashier yelling across store at teen who just broke a bottle of Snapple.
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Jan 10, 2015 22:54
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Show me the live birth certificate, he doesn't have it!- A man at the DMV talking to a clerk regarding getting a driver's license. He is explaining that the records were lost in a flood and he only has a copy of the original.
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Jan 10, 2015 23:00
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Top City Homo posted:Show me the live birth certificate, he doesn't have it!- A man at the DMV talking to a clerk regarding getting a driver's license. He is explaining that the records were lost in a flood and he only has a copy of the original. Obama has the Secret Sevice drive him everywhere. Makes you think.
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Jan 10, 2015 23:02
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Iamblikhos posted:Obama has the Secret Sevice drive him everywhere. Barrack Hussein Obama, Kenyan Muslim national, Malaysian resident and spy illegally enters the United States of America and attempts to get a driver's license but he has no birth certificate, his solution? become president of the united states and have the secret service drive him around instead
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Jan 10, 2015 23:06
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Top City Homo posted:Barrack Hussein Obama, Kenyan Muslim national, Malaysian resident and spy illegally enters the United States of America and attempts to get a driver's license but he has no birth certificate, his solution? become president of the united states and have the secret service drive him around instead Your avatar makes me forgive your lack of subtlety.
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Jan 10, 2015 23:07
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"rape is pretty good if you can't afford anything better" - disucssion on the best kinds of oil-rich seeds for manufacture of cooking oil
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Jan 10, 2015 23:10
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(sounds of grunting & cussing) "OK you pump and I'll suck" ...overheard this coming from the kitchen as my roommates tried to unclog the sink with plungers
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Jan 10, 2015 23:12
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"get out of there it's gonna blow!" -my cell phone
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Jan 10, 2015 23:17
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"i'm getting pretty tired of all these faggots" - an english campfire enthusiast rethinking his life decisions
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Jan 10, 2015 23:29
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Puffy Jacket Fetish posted:"i'm getting pretty tired of all these faggots" - Lowtax rethinking his life decisions
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Jan 10, 2015 23:31
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"We're all out of options" -salesperson to man who has purchased every available option for his new car. "We need a final solution" -a mathematician referring to a particularly difficult equation. "You're gonna get it after school, punk!" -A kid talking to his punk rocker friend. He will return the punk rocker's action figure after school. "Spiders everywhere!" -guy at Spider Convention
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Jan 11, 2015 00:14
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Whirlwind Jones posted:" lol
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Jan 11, 2015 00:16
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Honestly baby! The bitch fell on my dick!
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Jan 11, 2015 00:20
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What does ominious mean?
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Jan 11, 2015 00:24
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