Let's figure out foolproof wishes

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's figure out foolproof wishes

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

now, I am well aware MAYBE 1 out of 10 goons will encounter a genie. But for the ones that will run into those sneaky jerks, let us think of some wishes that cant turn back on us.

I am guessing that wish for more wishes thing is out of the question because of the "Three wishes rule" but, post them. Other goons and I will play devil's genie to try to turn it around on you.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 18:50

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# ? Apr 30, 2024 07:29

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

I wish to have the bite force of a chimpanzee

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:19

Dr Pepper: Feb 4, 2012; Don't like it? well...

i wish to know exactly what to invest my money in to make maximum profit

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:20

TOILETLORD: Nov 13, 2012; by XyloJW

honey pot thread for pedos

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:20

Pimpcasso: Mar 13, 2002; VOLS BITCH

i wish for free soft tacos from taco bell every tuesday for the rest of my life

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:23

Dr Pepper: Feb 4, 2012; Don't like it? well...

Daedra posted:

i wish for free soft tacos from taco bell every tuesday for the rest of my life

the evil twist is that you're eating taco bell

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:24

SpiderHyphenMan: Apr 1, 2010; by Fluffdaddy

Wish Number 1: On November 7th 2000, 5,000 liberal Floridians who were going to vote for Nader decide not to throw their vote away and instead hold their nose and vote for Al Gore.

I need no other wishes.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:27

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

I wish to have the bite force of a chimpanzee

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:27

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Dr Pepper posted:

i wish to know exactly what to invest my money in to make maximum profit

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:30

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Daedra posted:

i wish for free soft tacos from taco bell every tuesday for the rest of my life

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:33

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

I would wish for an HD remake of Morrowind.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:34

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

I wish for the sweet release of death.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:36

script kitty: Jan 2, 2005; GOTTA GO CATTES

i wish my house was always 77degF exactly for free forever

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:36

Tumblr of scotch: Mar 13, 2006; Please, don't be my neighbor.

I wish for all wishes in this thread, including my own, to be foolproof.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:36

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

Wish Number 1: On November 7th 2000, 5,000 liberal Floridians who were going to vote for Nader decide not to throw their vote away and instead hold their nose and vote for Al Gore.

I need no other wishes.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:36

Doctor Shapes: Mar 17, 2009; Ask and ye shall receive.

I wish to be a loser shitposting on a dying internet comedy forum

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:37

RedLobster: Nov 19, 2010; Original Character
!DO NOT STEAL!

I wish for this genie to be my BFF.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:39

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

haljordan posted:

I wish for the sweet release of death.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:40

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Smash it Smash hit posted:

HA HA I'M STILL DEAD EAT A DICK GENIE

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:40

TOILETLORD: Nov 13, 2012; by XyloJW

how genie's work op they are not miracle workers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tyt0FYTNUg

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:41

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

script kitty posted:

i wish my house was always 77degF exactly for free forever

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:43

Electric Charity: Mar 22, 2009

i wish starwars betamax encounters the perfect restroom

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:44

TOILETLORD: Nov 13, 2012; by XyloJW

i wish for more wishes for more peoples

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:45

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Flagrant Abuse posted:

I wish for all wishes in this thread, including my own, to be foolproof.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:46

baw: Nov 5, 2008; RESIDENT: LAISSEZ FAIR-SNEZHNEVSKY INSTITUTE FOR FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

Wish Number 1: On November 7th 2000, 5,000 liberal Floridians who were going to vote for Nader decide not to throw their vote away and instead hold their nose and vote for Al Gore.

I need no other wishes.

in 1952, Eisenhower chooses someone else for vice president.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:46

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Kuato posted:

I would wish for an HD remake of Morrowind.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:49

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

I wish there were no rules about what I could wish for -- BOOM WishHacks thank me later scrubs

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:49

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

RedLobster posted:

I wish for this genie to be my BFF.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:51

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Nooner posted:

I wish there were no rules about what I could wish for -- BOOM WishHacks thank me later scrubs

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:54

root of all eval: Dec 28, 2002

I wish Steve Wiebe had just won the Donkey Kong fair and square.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:56

Concerned Citizen: Jul 22, 2007; Ramrod XTreme

"i wish for infinite power"

DUH why the gently caress would you ask for anything else.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:56

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

TOILETLORD posted:

i wish for more wishes for more peoples

# ? Jan 21, 2015 19:59

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Aug 15, 2007; Smoke 'em if you gottem!; Dinosaur Gum

I wish everyone's horoscopes would come true in the most comical way possible, given there's a ton of them for every sign in every publication in print an online

# ? Jan 21, 2015 20:00

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Concerned Citizen posted:

"i wish for infinite power"

DUH why the gently caress would you ask for anything else.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 20:01

Tumble: Jun 24, 2003; I'm not thinking of anything!

I wish bill gates gave me a billion dollars yesterday

# ? Jan 21, 2015 20:02

root of all eval: Dec 28, 2002

These are good, OP. I'm enjoying it. I wish you a 5.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 20:02

Deki: May 12, 2008; It's Hammer Time!

I'd wish for the Genie's wish granting powers with none of the restrictions and none of the drawbacks.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 20:04

givepatajob: Apr 8, 2003; One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.

I wish I was like six-foot-nine so I could get with Leoshi cause she don't know me but yo she's really fine

# ? Jan 21, 2015 20:05

TOILETLORD: Nov 13, 2012; by XyloJW

a roll of toilet paper that never runs out. is what i wish for.

# ? Jan 21, 2015 20:05

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# ? Apr 30, 2024 07:29

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Splatmaster posted:

I wish everyone's horoscopes would come true in the most comical way possible, given there's a ton of them for every sign in every publication in print an online

# ? Jan 21, 2015 20:06

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's figure out foolproof wishes

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