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nursing bra's
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Sep 2, 2015 01:35
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 17:43 |
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Congrats on the end of your life, OP.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:36
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A first hand account of something you have to look forward to. 3 or 4 months from births when things are settling down and you're feeling frisky you'll invariably get a squirt of breast milk whilst aggressively partaking in some foreplay. I just rolled with it.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:40
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massage your/your wife's perineum to reduce tearing hth
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Sep 2, 2015 01:40
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I hope it's a girl and she hates you. Some time later, she brings home some cocky piece of poo poo on the varsity football team that belittles you with his lovely sarcasm and you yell at him and he yells back so you try to forcibly remove him from your home and he kicks your rear end and takes your daughter who returns a month later pregnant and single.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:42
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I got one word for you, OP: "dink" Double Income No Kids 4 Lyfe
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Sep 2, 2015 01:42
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtlirddSSmw
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Sep 2, 2015 01:47
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hey make a joke about asking the doctor to add another stitch to your wife's torn taint after she has a natural birth my man
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Sep 2, 2015 02:00
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:I got one word for you, OP: "dink" 
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Sep 2, 2015 02:00
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Put baby in the corner, op
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Sep 2, 2015 02:01
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DiHK posted:nursing bra's Lactation consultant ----------------
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Sep 2, 2015 02:01
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congrats on doing your duty op.
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Sep 2, 2015 02:04
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DiHK posted:Baby is coming soon and I got two words for you nerds NOSE JOB 
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Sep 2, 2015 02:07
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Dave_Indeed posted:I hope it's a girl and she hates you. Some time later, she brings home some cocky piece of poo poo on the varsity football team that belittles you with his lovely sarcasm and you yell at him and he yells back so you try to forcibly remove him from your home and he kicks your rear end and takes your daughter who returns a month later pregnant and single. 1) Who the gently caress waits for that info? 2) It's a boy and that wouldn't bother me because i'm gay
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Sep 2, 2015 02:11
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brizna posted:Lactation consultant This is true. There's nothing quite like like somebody describing your newborn child as a barracuda.
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Sep 2, 2015 02:12
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:I got one word for you, OP: "dink" this x infinity plz
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Sep 2, 2015 02:37
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toggle posted:hey make a joke about asking the doctor to add another stitch to your wife's torn taint after she has a natural birth my man I have a co-worker that actually did this. His imitation of the horrified medical personnel kills me.
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Sep 2, 2015 02:45
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lotta people pumped about dying alone with no one to love them or take care of them itt
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Sep 2, 2015 02:48
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natetimm posted:I have a co-worker that actually did this. His imitation of the horrified medical personnel kills me. it's called a courtesy stitch, why not ask
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Sep 2, 2015 02:59
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mommy's gone
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Sep 2, 2015 03:04
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vaginal rupture
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Sep 2, 2015 03:55
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Matey posted:lotta people pumped about dying alone with no one to love them or take care of them itt As for the extra stitch, apparently they try to avoid cutting in the first place these days.
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Sep 2, 2015 03:56
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Matey posted:lotta people pumped about dying alone with no one to love them or take care of them itt
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Sep 2, 2015 03:57
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Secks Cauldron posted:There will always be professional caretaker immigrants to wipe my rear end. pfffff, anyone who cares for an elderly person that they aren't related to basically abuses and beats them when no one is looking which i bet is pretty much all the time.
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Sep 2, 2015 03:59
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Matey posted:pfffff, anyone who cares for an elderly person that they aren't related to basically abuses and beats them when no one is looking which i bet is pretty much all the time. like your kids wouldn't
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Sep 2, 2015 04:00
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toggle posted:hey make a joke about asking the doctor to add another stitch to your wife's torn taint after she has a natural birth my man All the medical people I know say that's bullshit and doesn't exist, but there are a ton of mothers I know that say it's real but won't show me. Also, I want to believe...
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Sep 2, 2015 04:03
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gently caress her right in the rear end in a top hat if you don't want a kid born with a huge dent in his head
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Sep 2, 2015 04:04
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kill self source: am dad
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Sep 2, 2015 04:05
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ChairmanMeow posted:like your kids wouldn't no way. im gonna be the cool dad, make their mother do all the hard work of "actually raising the child(ren)." I'll be 85 and dabbing with my kid(s), telling them about how music was actually good in my day, when it was still made by humans and not robots
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Sep 2, 2015 04:05
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ChairmanMeow posted:like your kids wouldn't That's tough love. Immigrants are trashy and would do it out of spite.
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Sep 2, 2015 04:21
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Breast milk is great and gives you a twinkle in your eye and a spring in your step.
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Sep 2, 2015 04:55
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No. 6 posted:Congrats on the end of your life, OP.
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Sep 2, 2015 04:58
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the first few months will suck poo poo op, newborns are basically psychopaths hang in there because it gets awesome shortly after that, having a six month old is the most fun i've had without drugs imo as soon as evolution gets its act together ladies will be pregnant for a year and give birth to three month olds
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Sep 2, 2015 05:00
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wow things are gonna be pretty hosed up for your child living through the fall of modern civilization with extreme climate change, social unrest and scarcity of fossil fuels and other resources.
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Sep 2, 2015 05:04
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The Saurus posted:wow things are gonna be pretty hosed up for your child living through the fall of modern civilization with extreme climate change, social unrest and scarcity of fossil fuels and other resources. No poo poo, and I'll have help with the chores on my goat farm too. Indentured servitude.
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Sep 2, 2015 05:11
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Mount wife in delivery room. Kid needs to learn about competition
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Sep 2, 2015 05:19
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Paternity test
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Sep 2, 2015 05:20
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Well I'm turned on
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Sep 2, 2015 05:21
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ChairmanMeow posted:it's called a courtesy stitch, why not ask It's a fairly insensitive thing to ask for while your wife is lying in a near-coma and leaking fluids from having your child. My co-worker cleared the joke with her beforehand because he basically wanted to troll the doctors and nurses. To see him imitate and describe the reactions of the female nurses is hilarious. "I asked the doc to hook it up with the daddy stitch and the nurse carrying my wife's placenta in a pan out of the room almost dropped it and looked at me like I was Hitler." It's their 4th kid and I guess at that point you're a grizzled vet just trying to amuse yourself.
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Sep 2, 2015 05:24
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 17:43 |
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op if i had your life i would kill myself
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Sep 2, 2015 05:28
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