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Why can't you just keep bed sharing? Why force it?
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Dec 14, 2015 17:22
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Hdip posted:I know it sounds silly but here' a BBC article about babies in box. I had heard of these Finnish boxes. If we decide to use a box, what can we use in lieu of a mattress that isn't too soft? Chin Strap posted:Why can't you just keep bed sharing? Why force it? It's not recommended, for one, and we would like to get her out of our bed for our own sake as well.
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Dec 14, 2015 17:24
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We never used the box, partly because our kids where 3 months old before they got released from the hospital, and we had baby beds ready before they where even born. The mattress in the box was just foam though. Shouldn't be cold if the baby's appropriately clothed for the ambient temperature.
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Dec 14, 2015 17:43
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My bosses kid was just born at 23 weeks. Survived, looks like it is doing OK in ICU. But Holy poo poo. 1.7 pounds at 23 god drat weeks. Modern medicine is insane.
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Dec 14, 2015 17:47
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Why don't people listen when you ask them to stop buying your kid stupid toys. He's got enough toys. He plays with them for about 30 seconds and then he's done. STOP BUYING THE CHILD TOYS. I asked people to buy him experiences for his birthday, like tickets to the zoo and poo poo like that, not a single zoo ticket or anything. A bunch of plastic junk I have to spend all day stepping on.
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Dec 14, 2015 20:02
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hooah posted:My 2.5-month-old's too big for her cradle (which was an old hand-me-down that she hardly used anyway). We've been bed-sharing just because it's the only way we've been able to get her to sleep, but I guess she's within the range of when we can start setting routines and such in preparation for sleep training. Our room is not big enough to fit her crib. Is there anything we can do for the next 4 months (as far as I'm aware, the current APA recommendation is to room-share until 6 months) to try to get her out of our bed but remain in our room? The room-sharing recommendation is not a hard and fast rule, so you could try transitioning her to her crib now, especially if you are trying to establish some longterm routines.
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Dec 14, 2015 20:25
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Reason posted:Why don't people listen when you ask them to stop buying your kid stupid toys. He's got enough toys. He plays with them for about 30 seconds and then he's done. STOP BUYING THE CHILD TOYS. I asked people to buy him experiences for his birthday, like tickets to the zoo and poo poo like that, not a single zoo ticket or anything. A bunch of plastic junk I have to spend all day stepping on. People are assholes when it comes to giving gifts. This is just a fact of life you will have to accept. I'm probably going to institute a "now you get to pick two of your gifts to keep and we're going to donate the rest to other boys and girls who didn't get anything for Christmas!"
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Dec 14, 2015 20:52
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Reason posted:Why don't people listen when you ask them to stop buying your kid stupid toys. He's got enough toys. He plays with them for about 30 seconds and then he's done. STOP BUYING THE CHILD TOYS. I asked people to buy him experiences for his birthday, like tickets to the zoo and poo poo like that, not a single zoo ticket or anything. A bunch of plastic junk I have to spend all day stepping on. I say return anything you don't want. You'll probably only end up with store credit, but that can be used or saved up for something you do want. If you don't have a gift receipt just take it to the store you think it's from. As long as it's sold there, most big box stores will take it back. If that's not an option, I have no qualms with consigning toys we don't want. You might only get a few dollars, but hey that few dollars can be used towards an experience and is better than keeping junk around. We do the Just Between Friends sales. They're pretty good for consigning.
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Dec 15, 2015 01:53
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Reason posted:Why don't people listen when you ask them to stop buying your kid stupid toys. He's got enough toys. He plays with them for about 30 seconds and then he's done. STOP BUYING THE CHILD TOYS. I asked people to buy him experiences for his birthday, like tickets to the zoo and poo poo like that, not a single zoo ticket or anything. A bunch of plastic junk I have to spend all day stepping on. We had a no gifts request for his birthday. All ~30 guests brought a gift, including one family from his daycare that gave him a giant pop-up Thomas tent that now takes up basically an entire closet. Motherfuckers.
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Dec 15, 2015 06:36
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This is why I always give things that can be used up like art supplies, bubbles, food, etc.
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Dec 15, 2015 19:24
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Papercut posted:We had a no gifts request for his birthday. All ~30 guests brought a gift, including one family from his daycare that gave him a giant pop-up Thomas tent that now takes up basically an entire closet. Motherfuckers. What is the mindset behind this inability to understand "no gifts"? Bah... humbug... GlyphGryph fucked around with this message at 19:53 on Dec 15, 2015 |
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Dec 15, 2015 19:49
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I had a huge party for my son's first birthday, because we had my shower at my parents house and had to keep it small. It was just a cookout in the back yard, nothing more, but I asked in the invitation in lieu of gifts, for people to bring a package of diapers, any size, any amount, to donate to the local diaper bank, Project Undercover. I have to say, it worked really well. Of course some people brought gifts, but way less than I expected. I think having SOMETHING to bring made people less nervous about not bringing a gift. We're American, but there's still that fear of "losing face", worrying "she said no presents but if I don't bring one, other people will think I'm cheap!" I don't know how people with big families handle it. My family is really small now, so even if EVERYONE gives him a gift it's not as bad as some families must be! He already has so much stuff that I worry about how I'll deal with it all when I'm in an apartment not my parent's house.
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Dec 15, 2015 20:34
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My boy is only 2.5 months old and every extended family member asked for a xmas list for him :|. I never expected receiving too many gifts to be a problem i would have to deal with one day. We're trying to find useful stuff that are not too expensive and that he will be able to use during the first year other than clothes
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Dec 15, 2015 21:54
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GlyphGryph posted:What is the mindset behind this inability to understand "no gifts"? Not bringing a gift makes people feel like they're cheap and no fun and that makes people feel lovely. Gifts are a traditional part of birthdays and the "no gifts" thing can easily come off like you're being a Grinch and ruining the kid's birthday because gifts are inconvenient for you. There's also the thing where they don't want to look like the cheap/lazy one if everybody else still brings a gift because that's embarrassing, especially if these people all know each other. I think you'd be far better off trying to redirect the gifting than trying to stop it. Ask for consumables like art supplies and coloring books, gift cards for their favorite restaurants, gift cards to a bookstore so that they can pick out a book, books by a certain author(s), giftcards to the movie theater, anything that you wouldn't mind receiving. Give them a decently long list of things that you'd be okay with and that seem like fun for the kid and I think that most people will probably adhere to it. Just give enough options so that people don't feel like they'll all be bringing the same thing, and include enough non-giftcard things so that people who care about that kind of thing can actually pick out a present themselves instead of just 'taking the lazy way out.'
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Dec 15, 2015 21:55
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Anyone's kid have a tonsillectomy pretty young? My older one is almost 4 and getting them out on Thursday. Baby brother (18 months) is getting his adenoids out and new tubes the same day. Oh boy.
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Dec 16, 2015 05:29
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What humidifiers do you guys use (if any of course?). I got a decent Vicks one (with the cool night light/stars feature) but the replacement filters suck and are basically all third party and last a few days.
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Dec 16, 2015 05:48
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skeetied posted:Anyone's kid have a tonsillectomy pretty young? My older one is almost 4 and getting them out on Thursday. Baby brother (18 months) is getting his adenoids out and new tubes the same day. Oh boy. I had mine out when I was 18 and it was horrible. From what I've been told, getting them out young is a much quicker ordeal to recover from, and I'm sure that if I'd gotten mine removed at an early age it would have saved me a lot of hassle. I spent a lot of my childhood battling various throat related problems  Best of luck to you and your family for their operations, I hope it all goes smoothly.
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Dec 16, 2015 07:43
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GlyphGryph posted:What is the mindset behind this inability to understand "no gifts"? We just had a joint birthday party for my two oldest kids (ages 5 and 3) because we are cheap and terrible. And they are still at ages where they don't care about stuff like their own parties, they just want to have a good time with their friends. I specifically said no gifts. Everyone makes fun of us for how much crap we have, yet almost everyone who came to the party brought some plastic toy or game for each of my kids. We squirreled one of them away to a regifting closet as soon as it was opened as it is not a kind of toy my kids particularly care about (Transformers) and it's chock full of small plastic pieces that will get lost under my couch within minutes of being taken out of the package. Another was a board game very similar to something we already own, so that one is already in the car to be returned to the nearest Target. There were two genuinely appreciated gifts, and they were small action figures from one of the cartoons they both like. If I ever see the "no gift" on an invite, I make a donation in the kid's name to some charity and include a little slip about it in a birthday card. Or I regift a random gift card I have lying around. I understand the sentiment behind the request, and I try to honor it.
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Dec 16, 2015 08:33
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skeetied posted:Anyone's kid have a tonsillectomy pretty young? My older one is almost 4 and getting them out on Thursday. Baby brother (18 months) is getting his adenoids out and new tubes the same day. Oh boy. My kid was 7 (it was on his birthday in the middle of the summer holidays). A bit older but to be honest that might of made it worse for him as he had a better understanding of what was going on so fought the mask with the anesthetic in it. After the procedure he was very dopey for a day then pretty much back to normal a few days after. It was when they have a bug that just makes them lie down on the sofa and sleep all day. Lots of calpol and ice lollies helped. And he did get lots of presents and a big fuss made of him so I think he enjoyed that part. Hope it goes well for your two.
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Dec 16, 2015 08:41
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Khizan posted:I think you'd be far better off trying to redirect the gifting than trying to stop it. Definitely this. The giving of gifts is so deeply ingrained in the human psyche that asking someone to not bring a gift in a situation where they feel they ought to bring one, will make them feel uncomfortable. You're inviting people into your home to celebrate a special occasion, and you've prepared food and drinks and made a big effort, so people want to show their appreciation, and telling them that they're not allowed to do that in the traditional sense, without giving them an alternative, isn't going to work too well. It can be as simple as a drawing for the birthday kid, or bringing a food item for a collection to a food bank (if you live somewhere that has them, we don't), or a small donation to a charity (A friend told me she went to a birthday party for an 8 year old with her kid, and the invitations stated that no gift was neccessary, but if you wanted, you could bring a small amount for an animal charity that the birthday kid had chosen himself. Everyone thought it was brilliant.) For people you know will want to give a "proper" gift to your kid, I always ask for a childrens book the gift-giver is particularly fond of themselves. Books are a great present, they don't take up much space, aren't noisy or breakable or have lots of tiny pieces, and they can be enjoyed for a long time.
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Dec 16, 2015 10:01
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Sockmuppet posted:For people you know will want to give a "proper" gift to your kid, I always ask for a childrens book the gift-giver is particularly fond of themselves. Books are a great present, they don't take up much space, aren't noisy or breakable or have lots of tiny pieces, and they can be enjoyed for a long time. Absolutely. We have way too many books but at least they take up much less space than toys and are easy to pass on/donate. Everyone knows now to get us books instead of toys, with the exception of my sister, but she goes crazy overboard and buys Sydney clothes of a quality and price that I would never purchase myself in a bajillion years, so I don't really mind. Incidentally I think it's cool to get books because opening books as a present creates a positive association with reading based on the zero research I've done.
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Dec 16, 2015 21:32
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So my daughter has not been sleeping through the night all the time the last 4 months or so (she's 3 next month). Her mom and I are not together, so i'm not exactly sure how it is at her house. Apparently though, she brought this fact up to my daughters pediatrician (who is also my ex's doctor), and she suggested that we put her on either melatonin or HydrOXYzine. To me, that seems a little extreme putting a 3 year old on a med like that, especially if she's still waking up normally, and not falling asleep at school. Am I wrong in that regard or is that a normal thing?
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Dec 17, 2015 00:44
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momtartin posted:So my daughter has not been sleeping through the night all the time the last 4 months or so (she's 3 next month). Her mom and I are not together, so i'm not exactly sure how it is at her house. Apparently though, she brought this fact up to my daughters pediatrician (who is also my ex's doctor), and she suggested that we put her on either melatonin or HydrOXYzine. What exactly do you mean with "not sleeping through the night"? Our son at 3 years old would wake up at night but would go back to sleep after a few minutes of being with him. He's gone through several periods like that, but never so bad that we thought it was worth mentioning to the doctor, let alone treat it with medication.
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Dec 17, 2015 02:12
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rgocs posted:What exactly do you mean with "not sleeping through the night"? Our son at 3 years old would wake up at night but would go back to sleep after a few minutes of being with him. He's gone through several periods like that, but never so bad that we thought it was worth mentioning to the doctor, let alone treat it with medication. Yeah, my nearly-four-year-old still wakes up at night some nights, but then he goes right back to sleep after a two-minute back rub or belly scratch. When we moved into the house we're in now, about a year ago, he'd wake up every single night. (That stopped after two-ish months.) That said, hydroxyzine isn't a particularly extreme medication; my son takes it when he has a bad reaction to milk in something. (Milk allergy, not lactose intolerance.) On the other hand it makes him agitated, not sedated, and that's apparently very common in toddlers (and elderly people), so my concern would be "what if I give her this medication to help her sleep and she ends up staying awake until 3am, wired for sound?"
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Dec 17, 2015 04:20
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rgocs posted:What exactly do you mean with "not sleeping through the night"? Our son at 3 years old would wake up at night but would go back to sleep after a few minutes of being with him. He's gone through several periods like that, but never so bad that we thought it was worth mentioning to the doctor, let alone treat it with medication. She wakes up, runs into my room at 430, and says she wants to snuggle. At that point I'm too loving lazy to put her back into her bed, so she falls asleep in my bed. A little backstory, she falls asleep in my bed right now (because I've been bad about forcing her in her bed, but that's something I'm planning on being a little more forceful on when i get her a twin bed this weekend). Then I put her in her bed, and shes' out. Around 4-430, she wakes up, runs to my room and like I said, I put her in and she falls asleep in nothing flat. I just think taking away a nap would probably be the better option at this point. But her mom and I are having communication issues. That and being more strict on her falling asleep in her bed and using a rewards chart (for when she stays asleep in her own bed) would be better choices. Medicating a 3 year old seems extreme if it's just what I mentioned I above
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Dec 17, 2015 04:44
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Sounds like she sleeps just fine, she just likes the extra comfort.
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Dec 17, 2015 05:19
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momtartin posted:So my daughter has not been sleeping through the night all the time the last 4 months or so (she's 3 next month). Her mom and I are not together, so i'm not exactly sure how it is at her house. Apparently though, she brought this fact up to my daughters pediatrician (who is also my ex's doctor), and she suggested that we put her on either melatonin or HydrOXYzine. My 3-year-old still wakes up at night like half the time. And asks in the morning why mama and papa get to sleep in the same bed but he has to sleep alone. I think it would be more weird if a toddler didn't want someone to snuggle with at night.
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Dec 17, 2015 06:32
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momtartin posted:I just think taking away a nap would probably be the better option at this point. But her mom and I are having communication issues. That and being more strict on her falling asleep in her bed and using a rewards chart (for when she stays asleep in her own bed) would be better choices. My almost-3 year old hasn't had an afternoon nap in months. She often falls asleep on car rides in the afternoon (which I have to account for, so we leave for appointments 90 minutes early so she and her brothers can enjoy a little snooze on the drive and in the parking lot of wherever we need to be) but about six months ago she started staying up way past her bedtime, and her nights were restless, and we just realized that maybe she wasn't totally wiped out at the end of the day and the naps were giving her a reserve of energy she just didn't need anymore. If you can, I highly recommend getting rid of that afternoon nap. It sucks to lose that free time for yourself, but in the long run it will hopefully help with the nighttime waking. And it also sounds like she just likes a little snuggle. Considering you are sharing custody of her, maybe it's a way for her to feel a deeper connection to you as a caregiver. We have had some colds and stuff make their way through the house, and my kids have been a lot snugglier than they usually are. There's nothing like a warm napping toddler cradled in your arms! Except when you have to go to the bathroom.
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Dec 17, 2015 09:05
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My kids stopped napping during the day before 3, with my 2 year old sometimes she falls asleep but we do as much as we can to discourage it because even a ten minute sleep will be enough to revitalise her until 11pm. But the getting into your bed thing I think is just what kids do. All of mine have to varying degrees until the age of 5 or so, and when it comes down to it at 3am I'm too lazy to pick them up and move them back. I wouldn't have thought about drugging them to stop it (any more than I occasionally wistfully wish I could drug them to get a few minutes peace).
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Dec 17, 2015 09:22
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Our 2 year olds still nap. They are bad at going to sleep at night though. We put them to bet at 20:00 every night they might be awake until 21:30. It's a good night when they go to sleep at 20:30... So they need their naps. We don't want to put them to bed earlier because... you know, we both get home at 16:30-17:00ish and kinda want to spend some time with the kids before tucking them in. But I'm unemployed (temporarily) after new years eve so I'll be home with the kids then. I wonder if I will go crazy.
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Dec 17, 2015 09:39
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While we're on the topic of kids and sleep, does anyone have any idea how to turn off a 2.5-year old at the end of the day? She's tired, but she struggles to relax her mind and body to the point where she'll actually fall asleep - when we're reading good night-stories she literally spins around in bed, doing gymnastics, she talks constantly, starts singing and generally bounces off the walls. Getting her to go to sleep takes forever, and involves us during the entire process, because if we're not either singing or cuddling or both, she ramps up from however relaxed and sleepy she's become, and starts bouncing around and screaming again. I recognise the restlessness from myself - I'm extremely fidgety, and I have trouble falling asleep at night if I don't listen to a podcast or an audiobook, simply because if I don't give it something to focus on, my mind thinks about anything and everything and starts stressing out about stuff. But I'm an adult, so I know how to deal with it, she doesn't, and I'm having a hard time figuring out how to help her. Practical things we do are no screen time for an hour or so before bed, and a warm bath.
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Dec 17, 2015 10:31
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I try to make my 3 year old it still while I'm reading a book. It doesn't always work. I stop reading if he get's to crazy and tell him I can't read anymore til he calms down. That sometimes works.
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Dec 17, 2015 17:23
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Reason posted:Why don't people listen when you ask them to stop buying your kid stupid toys. He's got enough toys. He plays with them for about 30 seconds and then he's done. STOP BUYING THE CHILD TOYS. I asked people to buy him experiences for his birthday, like tickets to the zoo and poo poo like that, not a single zoo ticket or anything. A bunch of plastic junk I have to spend all day stepping on. my <1 yo daughter has two grandpas and four(!) grandmas. they won't stop buying loving toys thankfully you control where the toys are stored, so rotate them. put some in a storage box in a secret place and the others in the toy box. swap them out on a cycle behind your kid's back. if they're young enough they wont even notice, and you can keep toys fresh and novel without overwhelming them with choices. my daughter used to just sit in the middle of her toy pile like some kind of fat dragon but now she'll actually play with one or two things for more than a minte
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Dec 17, 2015 17:50
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Popular Thug Drink posted:my <1 yo daughter has two grandpas and four(!) grandmas. they won't stop buying loving toys We have been doing this and aim to continue doing so, but by like 3 or 4 isn't the kid going to start wondering where the presents are that she opened? Or do you keep them wrapped and put away (in which case doesn't the gift-giver whine about not seeing her opening them?)
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Dec 17, 2015 19:28
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flashy_mcflash posted:We have been doing this and aim to continue doing so, but by like 3 or 4 isn't the kid going to start wondering where the presents are that she opened? Or do you keep them wrapped and put away (in which case doesn't the gift-giver whine about not seeing her opening them?) Putting presents on the side during the party seems like a common enough practice from what we've experienced. Sure, it's cool to see the kid's reaction when he opens them. But in the context of a party, it can totally mess up the balance of the kid's attention; suddenly the only thing that matters is the new fire truck, the hell with his friends and that awesome piñata. Then again, I remember this happening to me when I was a kid, and it was fine, at least from my point of view.
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Dec 17, 2015 21:45
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I can understand asking others not to buy your kid toys for birthday/holidays...but does that extend to yourself? Mine is going to be not quite 3 months old for Christmas and for this year, I feel no more compulsion to buy him anything special than I do the cats. He has more than every material item he needs and is too young to appreciate "gifts" in any sense of the word. I'm sort of seeing it as a once-in-a-lifetime excuse that given his age I'll never, ever not do again. If anything, I'm more concerned about being judged by the rest of my family who will be buying gifts. Am I an rear end in a top hat or is it acceptable to see Christmas for him this year as Baby Shower Pt. 2?
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Dec 17, 2015 22:08
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Cheesus posted:I can understand asking others not to buy your kid toys for birthday/holidays...but does that extend to yourself? Nah, I didn't buy presents for the kids that weren't just stuff they needed ("ooh, nappies and sleep suits - hasn't Santa been good to you!") until they were at least 2, and then fairly restrained until they get older. Having a 19 year old and 13 year old I value the years you can fob them off before the demands for expensive games in tiny boxes start.
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Dec 17, 2015 22:19
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Cheesus posted:I can understand asking others not to buy your kid toys for birthday/holidays...but does that extend to yourself? Unless you're living with family, no one is going to know what you personally got for your baby. Then again, it is technically his first Christmas so maybe something small is in order. Or you could be one of those people with Christmas traditions that you'll want to start right at the first Christmas.
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Dec 17, 2015 22:31
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Cheesus posted:Am I an rear end in a top hat or is it acceptable to see Christmas for him this year as Baby Shower Pt. 2? I am a total rear end in a top hat parent, in that I have rarely purchased new clothes for my kids - everything they wear are either gifts or hand-me-downs. I buy almost every birthday/Christmas gift on clearance after the previous year's Christmas or other holiday (I have scored some awesome Easter basket leftovers on clearance that I saved as stocking stuffers). I didn't actually buy my oldest kid any gifts for his first 2 Christmases, as he had no idea what the hell was going on and he got enough gifts from everyone else. I also highly suggest y'all don't worry about what other people think about your parenting. If they judge you about your gift-giving, they are probably judging you about everything else. They may make comments, or question your decisions, but at the end of the day you know what your kid needs and you are the best person to decide if they really need more toys or clothes or something. As a funny aside, I actually had someone ask me if we celebrate Christmas as we haven't put up any decorations yet. Ironically, the main reason we haven't had time to put up decorations is because we have been going to so many Christmas and birthday parties. I don't think she was judging me, she was genuinely curious, but the implication that we don't celebrate because we don't have some decorations up was kind of funny to me. And one more thing - do not be afraid to ask for cash or gift cards instead of gifts. We have been buying Disneyland passes these past few years, and they cost a MINT. I tell everyone who asks that the kids get frequent trips to Disneyland all year long, so if they want to give us a gift they can give us Disney gift cards or cash towards their Disney pass fund. I would rather that than some onesie they'll never wear or some toy that will quickly be forgotten.
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Dec 18, 2015 00:34
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I have also asked for cash in lieu of gifts, and it went over fine. Generally as long as you have something big that you can justify asking for cash on people just go "oh yeah, sure, sounds great" and that's the end of it. Our cash request on her birthday went towards paying for my daughter's week at Girl Scout equestrian camp. She loved that way better than whatever Barbie poo poo she might have otherwise gotten.
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Dec 18, 2015 01:31
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