FishionMailed posted:

So idk is it that everything just got that much dumber or is it just that I got older?

Fried Watermelon posted:

In that video it looks like Trump is in on the joke of the democratic system.

Like he's thinking to himself that he can't believe he's made it this far, and is the best republican candidate.

Rutibex posted:

he is going for the true long-con. Trump will be the first ironic president

Irradiation posted:

Horniest Manticore posted:

lies. i'm an area bassist and i STILL haven't been fellated

Irradiation posted:

Lt. Tanaka posted:

I won't be surprised if he announces Jesse Ventura as his running mate.



There was another weird Onion moment in the Republican ABC debate. It was when the fat guy Chris Christie seemed to short circuit the android looking candidate Marco Rubio, and he repeated the same line 3 or 4 times. I almost expected him to start smoking and his eyes to glow red.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdY-t4MRqxw

Lt. Tanaka posted:

There was another weird Onion moment in the Republican ABC debate. It was when the fat guy Chris Christie seemed to short circuit the android looking candidate Marco Rubio, and he repeated the same line 3 or 4 times. I almost expected him to start smoking and his eyes to glow red.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdY-t4MRqxw

Parallax Scroll posted:

drat that's a pretty good own

Lt. Tanaka posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uafScAiaC44

Irradiation posted:

Raere posted:

Our generation is going to be the most cynical generation yet. By the time we're all retired olds we're just gonna be writing in Cumslurper on the voting ballots because gently caress it all who cares

Idiot Kicker posted:

Retired? What kind of loving fairy tale do you live in?

A misanthrope posted:

from imgur today:

The Goatfather posted:

also this lady

Chill la Chill posted:

Where do you get those glasses?

Chill la Chill posted:

Where do you get those glasses?

The Kidnappers from that Wife Crashes Her Own Funeral article posted:

They weren’t going to kill her, the men then explained — they didn’t believe in killing women, and they knew her brother. But they would keep her husband’s money and tell him that she was dead. After two days, they set her free on the side of a road, but not before giving her a cellphone, recordings of their phone conversations with Kalala, and receipts for the $7,000 in Australian dollars they allegedly received in payment, according to Australia’s The Age newspaper.

“We just want you to go back, to tell other stupid women like you what happened,” Rukundo said she was told before the gang members drove away.

and of course more people from the article are just as stupid posted:

Rukundo told the ABC she’s gotten backlash from Melbourne’s Congolese community for reporting Kalala to the police.

gary oldmans diary posted:

stay classy, kidnappers, stay classy
shameful to disrespect your husband who tried to kill you. stoning imminent

quote:

“Our findings from a recent survey suggest that about 71 percent of Americans are fairly certain that Alexander Hamilton is among our nation’s past presidents,” said Henry L. Roediger III, a human memory expert at Washington University. “I had predicted that Benjamin Franklin would be the person most falsely recognized as a president, but Hamilton beat him by a mile.

quote:

No ‘P’ in Arabic Means No Palestine, Israeli Lawmaker Says

JERUSALEM — One of the many things that divides Israelis and Palestinians is the letter P.

The consonant that prefaces prejudice and partisanship became an object of mirth on Thursday after Anat Berko, a conservative lawmaker from the governing Likud Party, said in Parliament that there could be no such place as Palestine because there is no P in Arabic.

The name “Palestine” is a borrowed term, Ms. Berko said, presumably referring to the ancient Greek “Palaistine” and the Syria-Palaestina of the Roman era.

“I want to return to history. What exactly is our place here regarding Jerusalem, regarding Palestine,” she said during a parliamentary debate late Wednesday called by the center-left Zionist Union on the two-state solution. “As we have said, there isn’t even a P in Arabic so this borrowed term is also worth scrutinizing,” she added.

As opposition lawmakers heckled Ms. Berko, she retorted, “There is no ‘Pa,’” sputtering, “Pa, pa, pa,” for emphasis.

“There’s ‘Fa,’” she conceded.

Indeed, there is no hard P sound in Arabic, but there is a softer F, and Palestinians pronounce the name of their would-be state as “Falastin” (fah-leh-STEEN) — as do most Hebrew-speaking Israelis. Contemporary written Arabic does have a letter P, with three dots, that was added to accommodate foreign words like “Pepsi.” But it is rare to meet an Arab who can pronounce the letter P; Pepsi is known as “Bebsi” across the Middle East.

Ms. Berko, who was born in Israel to parents who had fled Iraq, is a social scientist with a Ph.D. in criminology. Her academic research focused on terrorism and counterterrorism, and she has written two books about suicide bombers. Her resume notes that her research included interviews with Palestinian prisoners in Israel’s maximum-security prisons.

The Hebrew newspaper Yediot Aharonot reported that Arab lawmakers in the Knesset, or Parliament, walked out in protest over Ms. Berko’s remarks, muttering “P-P-P” under their breath. Or was it “B-B-B”?

Abir Kopty, a Palestinian activist and blogger, wryly agreed with Ms. Berko’s linguistic analysis on Twitter:
Continue reading the main story

Indeed, we are Balestinians, not Palestinians. #PT
— Abir Kopty (@AbirKopty) Feb. 11, 2016

Xavier Abu Eid, an adviser to the Palestine Liberation Organization’s negotiations department in the West Bank, tweeted, sarcastically:
Continue reading the main story

That's the sweetest argument I've heard from a member of Netanyahu's coalition in order to justify Apartheid. https://t.co/FAhtxbRJPN
— Xavier Abu Eid (@xabueid) Feb. 11, 2016

Haim Har-Zahav, an Israeli journalist and blogger, joked on Israel Radio that there was obviously no pizza in America because English does not have a letter equivalent to the Hebrew “Tzadik,” to denote the “tza” sound. And others here have repeated the adage that because Americans do not pronounce the guttural H in Arabic and Hebrew, their hummus is terrible.

Some noted, existentially, that the Jews themselves were potentially in trouble since there is no J in Hebrew.

If Palestine and Palestinians don't exist bc there is no letter P in arabic, then I guess Jews don't exist bc there's no letter J in hebrew?
— Omar Al Ghazzawi (@Run_Khabibi) Feb. 11, 2016

The Goatfather posted:

imo its in poor taste for the onion to take this jew lawyer joke so far

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/12/world/middleeast/israel-anat-berko-palestine.html

Zombie Boat posted:

Fingers loving crossed

Fabricated posted:

You can't parody reality anymore

We live in a cartoon

That Robot posted:

a japanese cartoon?

Mental-Rectangle posted:

https://source.wustl.edu/2016/02/americans-recognize-past-presidents-never-study-finds/

A misanthrope posted:

9/11 didn't kill irony. it refined irony. made it more virulent. now irony can kill. irony is about to have the nuke launch codes.

Animal-Mother posted:

Things are getting weird. I half wonder if Cthulhu is about to dream himself into existence.