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Phy posted:Does he live in a Jar Jonah Jameson? A picture of a plucked chicken in the Daily Bugle with the caption "Behold! The Spiderman!"
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Nov 7, 2016 23:53
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"If I were not Alexander, I would wish to be Jameson." "If I were not Jameson, I would also wish to be Jameson."
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Nov 8, 2016 01:16
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Parker! Get out of my sunlight!
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Nov 8, 2016 01:25
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Nov 8, 2016 06:36
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Starr. .Jonah is still holding the lamp. I think he can still beat you to death
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Nov 8, 2016 07:01
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the lamp was actually a fancy recorder the whole time. jjj's got egghead right where he wants him
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Nov 8, 2016 07:02
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....I just want to see Jonah beat a fat man to death with a lamp. Is that too much to ask?
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Nov 8, 2016 07:06
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bunnyofdoom posted:Starr. .Jonah is still holding the lamp. I think he can still beat you to death Probably not in front of three super heroes. But on the other hand it's probably not a great idea to admit to murder in front of four witnesses, even if two of them do have secret identities to protect. Also, he's also definitely going to jail for kidnapping and shrinking Pym.
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Nov 8, 2016 07:41
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And all the attempted murder
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Nov 8, 2016 07:59
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Tiggum posted:Probably not in front of three super heroes. But on the other hand it's probably not a great idea to admit to murder in front of four witnesses, even if two of them do have secret identities to protect. Also, he's also definitely going to jail for kidnapping and shrinking Pym. Spidey will testify against him on the grounds of "I'm Spider-Man, why would I lie" and Jameson will be forced to defend his cousin's killer with attack articles against the webbed menace's miscarriage of justice. The whole thing will take two years.
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Nov 8, 2016 09:32
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Good a reason as any to bring in Murdock.
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Nov 8, 2016 10:09
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Mycroft Holmes posted:He's looking for an honest Spiderman. Well, that's a Cynical way to look at it.
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Nov 8, 2016 15:04
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mind the walrus posted:Good a reason as any to bring in Murdock. Hmm, so he'd be some kind of "Newspaper Daredevil," eh? 
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Nov 8, 2016 16:02
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Dudes who rag on a lady's jawline are the worst. Like we get it, you're insecure about your chin.
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Nov 8, 2016 16:04
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Preach it!
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Nov 8, 2016 16:45
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I hope this all goes to Court, and we get something similar to this again (She-Hulk Vol. 1 #4) (Except since it's Newspaper Spider-Man, he won't tell the court that he's only joking)
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Nov 8, 2016 17:57
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Nov 9, 2016 13:56
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Only if u fuckin snitch on him Spidey, be cool
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Nov 9, 2016 14:14
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Spidey, are you suggesting that they'd shove Egghead's corpse in the cell with Jonah? He is talking about murdering him. How many bricks to the head have you taken?
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Nov 9, 2016 15:20
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Mover posted:Only if u fuckin snitch on him Spidey, be cool For some reason this absolutely cracked me up 
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Nov 9, 2016 22:41
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I'd be ok with Spider-Man and Jameson burying the hatchet with a murder secret.
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Nov 10, 2016 05:20
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 Tiggum posted:Probably not in front of three super heroes. But on the other hand it's probably not a great idea to admit to murder in front of four witnesses, even if two of them do have secret identities to protect. Also, he's also definitely going to jail for kidnapping and shrinking Pym. The most reasonable solution was the right one, who would've guessed! But how did Spidey teach Instant Transmission to his cameras?
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Nov 10, 2016 06:47
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JJJ should just go Schillinger on him.
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Nov 10, 2016 06:52
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That second panel is loving me up
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Nov 10, 2016 06:54
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Synthbuttrange posted:That second panel is loving me up i think those are meant to be shadows on the ceiling under his feet but they kind of look like speed lines not sure why he's chucking a shaka though
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Nov 10, 2016 07:06
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bunnyofdoom posted:Spidey, are you suggesting that they'd shove Egghead's corpse in the cell with Jonah? He is talking about murdering him. How many bricks to the head have you taken? Synthbuttrange posted:That second panel is loving me up
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Nov 10, 2016 07:20
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quite stretched out posted:not sure why he's chucking a shaka though He clearly just webbed that camera in place while he was talking. That's how delayed action works, right?
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Nov 10, 2016 08:20
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"Wait a minute I'm rich, white, and a motherfucking Jameson!" *kicks in egg guys head* *faces zero legal consequences*
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Nov 10, 2016 08:39
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No, it was a life model decoy! I, J Jonah Jameson, would never commit such a deed! Clearly this is Spidermans fault!
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Nov 10, 2016 09:34
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Mycroft Holmes posted:No, it was a life model decoy! I, J Jonah Jameson, would never commit such a deed! Clearly this is Spidermans fault! "You've got two vigilantes who won't even reveal their identities and one former-vigilante saying I killed him, but who are you going to believe? Those secretive lawbreakers, or me, respected publisher of a major newspaper, former television host and crusader for justice? I've been telling you for years that Spider-Man's a dangerous criminal!"
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Nov 10, 2016 10:01
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Pym: Yeah you realize you just confessed to murder in front of four witnesses, right? Starr: Oh right...  Between this and,"That spider ALSO has the proportionate strength of a spider....  ", I'm really digging Hank Pym: Only smart man in the Newspaper Spider-Man Universe.
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Nov 10, 2016 11:09
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"...the rest of your natural life" should probably have been "...the rest of your natural life" cuz you just know he's going to die and return as a ghost.
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Nov 10, 2016 13:11
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So doesn't Spidey admitting to having a camera basically blow apart his secret identity?
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Nov 10, 2016 15:50
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The Question IRL posted:So doesn't Spidey admitting to having a camera basically blow apart his secret identity? Nah, plenty of people have cameras. Now, if he tries to sell those specific shots somewhere as Peter Parker, maybe?
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Nov 10, 2016 15:57
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Newspaper Petey would be dumb enough to try it too.
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Nov 10, 2016 16:32
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Jonah is distracted by bloodlust and the engorged pride of having beaten an ordinary civilian before Spider-Man could. It's fine. "Of course you managed to capture the photos from inside the room Parker. You'd have to be there for my big moment. I must not have seen you."
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Nov 10, 2016 16:39
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Kwyndig posted:Nah, plenty of people have cameras. Now, if he tries to sell those specific shots somewhere as Peter Parker, maybe? "Parker! These shots could only have been taken by someone in the room! Now don't lie to me, you bought them from Spider-Man, didn't you! That's plagiarism! Now get out of my office, I'm trying to figure out Spider-Man's secret identity!"
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Nov 10, 2016 16:42
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Tiggum posted:"Parker! These shots could only have been taken by someone in the room! Now don't lie to me, you bought them from Spider-Man, didn't you! That's plagiarism! Now get out of my office, I'm trying to figure out Spider-Man's secret identity!" I always liked the copy-pasta where Jonah points out that of course he knows Peter Parker is Spiderman, but that he'd never tell him because he can't have a bored Spiderman.
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Nov 10, 2016 18:06
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Tiggum posted:"Parker! These shots could only have been taken by someone in the room! Now don't lie to me, you bought them from Spider-Man, didn't you! That's plagiarism! Now get out of my office, I'm trying to figure out Spider-Man's secret identity!" I can see this being the outcome too, yes. I mean, everybody in newspaper Spider-Man is dumb enough to believe that.
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Nov 10, 2016 18:14
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Yeah, I think this Pinkerton comic was only a slight exaggeration:
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Nov 10, 2016 19:35
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