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ECR-3D: B) A  "gently caress it, let's just have some explosions!" MatchULC: Ivan, Billy "The Kid" Miller, Gore Magala FCZ: Shinjobi Jones, That Guy If you're joining us on tape delay, those are poll answers. Go back a page and vote! Andy Waltfeld fucked around with this message at 06:28 on Dec 11, 2016 |
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Dec 11, 2016 06:23
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 : (Quietly) I just need to hide my time until the right moment. (Normal) Then they will all see, I will be the real hero. (Louder) I will save my Queen from the force that controls her. (Yelling) Then MY QUEEN, you will leave with me.* * *  : You know James, I'm happy we're here, even with weirdos like him. : It's absolutely perfect Jessie, we needed a break.: No brats, no Pikachu, people with taste almost as good as me... : Come on, we should go practice, I don't want my costume to malfunction when we debut.: Sounds good, let's show them who the real stars are!
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Dec 11, 2016 06:28
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ECR-3D: C ULC: Pepsi Man, Annie Mae, and Billy "The Kid" Miller FCZ: Arnold J Rimmer, and Lance "Le Chuck" Dart.
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Dec 11, 2016 06:46
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 : Fia, remind me again what we're doing here? : Paying the bills. : Okay, let me rephrase that. What -I'm- doing here.: Well, I need a manager of course.: Yes, "of course"... Ugh.: C'mon, it'll be way more fun than looking at dumb plants.: I've told you a thousand times before, lichens are -not- dumb. They are a vital par-: Yeah yeah, whatever. You'll change your tune when you see me in my ring gear.: You're not even on the card this week. : Oh what? That's bull****!* * *  : *INCOHERENT ROARING** * * ECR-3D: C ULC: Annie Mae, Pepsiman, Captain Snuggles FCZ: Thom Cruz, Tyler Breeze Tyty fucked around with this message at 08:02 on Dec 11, 2016 |
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Dec 11, 2016 07:33
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Herr Tog posted:
 : ...: ...Man what did I do to deserve this.----------------------- ECR3D: C ULC: Annie May, Billy "The Kid" Miller, Pepsiman FCZ: God, Speedoman
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Dec 11, 2016 07:36
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What gimmick do you want to see the tag match between The Throne Watchers and Team Rocket be? C) A Chained-to-an-Actual-Rocket Blast-Off Match I'm sick of the King of All Cosmos's bullshit already. Who do you want to see beat the poo poo out of him? (submit up to three wrestlers) 1) Captain Snuggles 2) Ottto von Ruthless 3) Annie Mae Who do you want to see compete for the inaugural match for the Buscus "Championship" belt? (submit two wreslters) 1) God 2) Thom Cruz
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Dec 11, 2016 07:40
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 : BT, I don't like this Cosmo King guy's look. He's got a weird shaped head. : I detect anger, pilot. Perhaps some meditation or relaxation techniques will improve your proficiency and calm your mind.: Won't change the fact that his head looks stupid.: So does your goatee, pilot.: Hey!: Protocol 3: Protect the Pilot. Not Protocol 3: Protect the Pilot's sensitive feelings.: gently caress you, BT.What gimmick do you want to see the tag match between The Throne Watchers and Team Rocket be? C) A Chained-to-an-Actual-Rocket Blast-Off Match I'm sick of the King of All Cosmos's bullshit already. Who do you want to see beat the poo poo out of him? (submit up to three wrestlers) 1) BT-7274 2) Ottto von Ruthless 3) Gore Magala Who do you want to see compete for the inaugural match for the Buscus "Championship" belt? (submit two wreslters) 1) God 2) Tyler Breeze
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Dec 11, 2016 08:39
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EXTREME CONFLICT RESOLUTION 3D - Week 1: What gimmick do you want to see the tag match between The Throne Watchers and Team Rocket be? C) A Chained-to-an-Actual-Rocket Blast-Off Match UNENDING LIGHTSPEED CARNAGE - Week 1: I'm sick of the King of All Cosmos's bullshit already. Who do you want to see beat the poo poo out of him? (submit up to three wrestlers) 1)Captain Snuggles 2)Pepsiman 3)Asuka  FUSION CATASTROPHE ZONE - Week 1: Who do you want to see compete for the inaugural match for the Buscus* "Championship" belt? (submit two wreslters) 1)Shinjobi Jones 2)Tyler Breeze
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Dec 11, 2016 09:57
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nine-gear crow posted:
Artix posted:
 : I have not authorized the destruction of tables. If anything is to be destroyed then just smash your opponent into another opponent or the ring itself.FPzero posted:
:Lady, change your attitude and answer my questions. ooc:Also why? Other M AKA character sabotage. Herr Tog fucked around with this message at 10:19 on Dec 11, 2016 |
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Dec 11, 2016 10:15
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What gimmick do you want to see the tag match between The Throne Watchers and Team Rocket be? C) A Chained-to-an-Actual-Rocket Blast-Off Match I'm sick of the King of All Cosmos's bullshit already. Who do you want to see beat the poo poo out of him? (submit up to three wrestlers) 1) Captain Snuggles Who do you want to see compete for the inaugural match for the Buscus "Championship" belt? (submit two wreslters) 1) Thom Cruz 2) Shinjobi Jones
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Dec 11, 2016 10:21
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What gimmick do you want to see the tag match between The Throne Watchers and Team Rocket be? C) A Chained-to-an-Actual-Rocket Blast-Off Match I'm sick of the King of All Cosmos's bullshit already. Who do you want to see beat the poo poo out of him? (submit up to three wrestlers) 1) Sen. Steven Armstrong (R-CO) Who do you want to see compete for the inaugural match for the Buscus "Championship" belt? (submit two wreslters) 1) Thom Cruz 2) Shinjobi Jones
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Dec 11, 2016 13:37
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nine-gear crow posted:
 : Rockets, indeed? Time to see what our competition is made of. : Seriously? They're a bunch of fuckin' wrestlers! What are they gonna do, kayfabe us to death?: Not the competition to which I was referring.
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Dec 11, 2016 16:02
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EXTREME CONFLICT RESOLUTION 3D - Week 1: What gimmick do you want to see the tag match between The Throne Watchers and Team Rocket be? C) A Chained-to-an-Actual-Rocket Blast-Off Match UNENDING LIGHTSPEED CARNAGE - Week 1: I'm sick of the King of All Cosmos's bullshit already. Who do you want to see beat the poo poo out of him? (submit up to three wrestlers) 1)Spermicide 2)Master Tentacular 3)Gore Magala FUSION CATASTROPHE ZONE - Week 1: Who do you want to see compete for the inaugural match for the Buscus* "Championship" belt? (submit two wreslters) 1)Shinjobi Jones 2)Thom Cruz
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Dec 11, 2016 17:35
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 Are of of you in need of companionship? Especially the companionship of a canine? Contact me and I mioght be able to sort you out!
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Dec 11, 2016 20:05
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ECR3D - W1: C ULC - W1: Snuggles, Pepsiman, Steven Armstrong FCZ - W1: Shinjobi Jones & 'Captain' Fargle  : Let's see... let's just pick all of the most unreasonable choices - the Buscus? Wonder how Palpy got that. Anyways, only seems fit that the Buscus is fought over by the two most jobber-y people in the ring... and now to return to Go Fish. Yo Joe, got any threes? : ...: You're too good at this, buddy.
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Dec 11, 2016 21:45
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EXTREME CONFLICT RESOLUTION 3D C) A Chained-to-an-Actual-Rocket Blast-Off Match UNENDING LIGHTSPEED CARNAGE 1) Ivan 2) Dark (Business Suit) Samus 3) Sen. Stephen Armstrong FUSION CATASTROPHE ZONE 1) God 2) Thom Cruz
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Dec 11, 2016 22:32
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Sad King Billy posted:
 GET hosed YOU DOGNAPPING BASTARD! I'VE GOT A SHOCK COLLAR WIRED UP TO A CAR BATTERY HERE WITH YOUR NAME ON IT! WE AIN'T PUTTING UP WITH ANY OF YOUR CRAP HERE YOU STICKY FINGERED LITTLE PSYCHO PERVERT!
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Dec 11, 2016 23:18
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Alright. Here's how our vote total is shaping up after 12-ish hours of voting: EXTREME CONFLICT RESOLUTION 3D - Week 1: Tag Match Gimmick A) Cage Match 0 B) 2C) Rocket 22 UNENDING LIGHTSPEED CARNAGE - Week 1: Who gets to fight the King? Captain Snuggles 11 Senator Armstrong 8 Pepsiman 7 Billy "The Kid" Miller 5 Ivan 5 Annie Mae 4 Dark Samus 3 Gore Magala 3 Terror of the Deep (Master Tentacular and Spermicide) 3 Asuka 2 BT-7274 2 Otto von Ruthless 2 Dark Adam 1 Heliosaur 1 The King of All Cosmos 1 FUSION CATASTROPHE ZONE - Week 1: Who gets first crack at the Buscus Belt? Thom Cruz 13 God 7 Shinjobi Jones 6 Tyler Breeze 5 Speedoman 3 Arnold J Rimmer 2 Dong Zhou 2 Captain Fargle 2 That Guy 2 Chimp Man Z 1 Lance "Le Chuck" Dart 1 EDIT: Sorted in descending order. nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Dec 11, 2016 |
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Dec 11, 2016 23:41
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Captain Fargle posted:
Is your collar not for your daughterwife no? I can get you a more obedient dog, a Spaniel maybe. You be careful with collar, wife try eat it maybe. We Czechs not need perverse, we have Absinthe.
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Dec 12, 2016 00:37
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 Hey hey, what's up, all my fans out there! I'm happy to bring my talents and, more importantly, my brand to the SLW. And I really feel that the... what's it... unfininished flighty carne asada division is the perfect fit for me right now. So look out, competition, because the Kid is coming for you!
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Dec 12, 2016 00:41
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ECR3D: C ULS: Billy "The Kid" Miller, Ivan, Annie Mae FCZ: Thom Cruz, Arnold J Rimmer
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Dec 12, 2016 02:15
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Herr Tog posted:
 : T̆ͬ͗̌̅ͤͨ͏̯̮̣̹̦ẖ͇̖͖̘̩̏ͤ̆̐̒ͧ͂a͐ͪ̒̿n͙ͨ̉ͅk̯̈ͧ̃ͣ ̲̰̠̳̗̥͂͛͑͒ͅR̮͕̻͖͟i͍͗͞ḏ̰̰̺̫ͣ͊l̴͐̈ë͕̫̂͛̃͑ͭͧy̷ ̛̲͙̯I̢͗̊͌ͥͣ̀ ̘̩̬d́ͥ͒͊̋͆̊o͎̐ͦ̌̈n̗͕̒'̄̋ͪ͌҉͍̭̲̹t͔̦ͬ ̝͉̦̘͉͉̰̃̃̈́ͨh̻͓̪̫̤̼̤́̍͆̍̏a̎ͥ̀v͕̥̠̥̔ͭe̢̥̯̞ ̻͈̘͕͇̀̐ͥͣ̍t̸͚̙̖ͤõ̸͐͗ͥ͋͂̉ ̟̪̹̥̮͇̆͢dͤ̈̽ͥ̇҉͚̺̣͓͓e̢͎̊a̜̭̞͛ͅl͍̩̯̫̦̹̮ ͍͕̞̘̥̖͒ͥ͊͋w̨͙͙ͭ͑͊ͥͯͅỉ͓͎͓tͧ̉̾͊̀h͓̗̦͙͎̹̜͆͗̇͞ ͒ͤͤ͒ͮ͏̤̬͔͔͍̤s͓͓̦ͬ͋̆̿ͩ̽̚͟ơ̘̜͈̬̻̼̍͐̓̚ͅmẽ͔̞̩̺̯̫̋̾̓͗ó̷̞̗̤ͮ̎̆ñ͎̜͚̹̒̂̃̃̽e̠͉̭̥̥͍ ̴̠̘̳̟̼̪̽̅̆ͅl̦̤͖̰̗͒͊̄͝i̗͓͔͈̪͇ͣͪ̑ͬͭ̚k̘̺̰̟͇͚͡e̗̜̔ͤ̎ͤ̒ͫ̓ ̫̠̜͎̬͊̅̅̿͒t̹̣̯̣̝̖̥͗͛̂̇h̰̻̖͉̰̿ͭ͆ͫ̆͂̀á̝̜̭̤͔̮̓̋̀͜t͎̦̠͠.̨̤̻ͮ
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Dec 12, 2016 11:22
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Herr Tog posted:
 Dammit,it's Hera all over again! I signed up for this to get away from her nonsense! 
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Dec 12, 2016 23:34
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 ECR3D #1 - Monday, Week 1  : Good evening, planet Earth! Welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen! There's been some false starts and some gently caress ups, but we're finally back on the air for real! Live from The Dark Prince The Evil Lord's Palace Casino-- : --Which is really awkward, since he works for Cisna now--: --in Fabulous Las Vegasâ„¢, Super-League Wrestling presents: EXTREME CONFLICT RESOLUTION 3D!: Is it actually in 3D?: No! Palpatine Books the First Match. : And to get started tonight, Emperor Palpatine is on his way to the ring to give his innaural address.: I hope he's bringing more security with him than he did last time...: Oh, uh, it looks like Palpy's been accosted by Juan and Tostada on his way through the arena. Let's listen in. : You want what? : ...: You do know nobody can hear you when you do that, right? : Si! Dios miho, Emperado. How could you do esta terrible thing to Juan?!: I do a lot of terrible things to people on a daily basis. You're gonna have to be more specific.: Villano! You stole Juan's TV Campeón belt from him.: She does understand the concept of a "roster reset", right?: Shh.: Okay, look, if your gigantic mute boyfriend wants his drat belt back, then he's just gonna have to--: And now CRON is here too. : ...: He's making obscene grunting noises and gestruing back and forth between a crudely drawn picture of the TV title he's holding up and himself.: He's being very emphatic about it.: Oh, perfect. Then you two can just head to the ring right now, and-- : DID I HEAR SOMEONE BOOKIN' A MATCH WITHOUR MISTER SATAN IN IT?!: Oh for gently caress'S SAKE!: YOU SHOULDN'T BE SWEARIN' ON TV, BROTHER! IT'S BAD FOR THE KIDDIES!: Then they should be watching PBS or some other soft platstic bullshit. Alright, then, let's make it a three-wa-- : That belt is mine, and I will stomp any loser's face in who gets in my way.: Jane says as she literally emerges from the women's bathroom.: You know what?! FINE! gently caress IT! EVERYONE gets a shot at at Juan's stupid belt! AT THE SAME TIME!: Well, it's a good thing this match card is written in pencil. Adam Runs His Mouth For Like 10 Minutes Straight : In the meanwhile, because Palpatine took his sweet time getting down to the ring, Adam Malkovich, self-proclaimed manager of the Strong Female Protagonists, wandered into the ring and has been running his mouth for the last five minutes with a microphone and no discernable stoping point in sight.: --Hence why I then took it upon myself to oversee this project and--: I want to just shoot him, like right now.: Wait! That music!: That's Zarya's theme!: Oh? And what do we have here? : You talk too much, small man. Your team all hates you.: They most certainly do NOT!: They call themselves 'Strong Female Protagonists'? Do they not. I vant to see how strong they are. I vant to break them.: Lady, let me just tell you, that if you want a fight against any of my Ladies, you are most certainly--: OH! Now that was a gut punt! Adam is just laid right out.: I do not talk to you anymore. I make this challange to real women. Claire Farron and Samus Aran. Come. Face me and little Mei-Ling. And we will judge whether you are worthy of title Strong Female Protagonist. Dat is all. 10 Man Brawl For the SLW TV Championship Belt : And we are back from commercial with our first match of the night, a 10-man all-out-brawl battle royale for the SLW TV Champion belt.: And we have a hell of a lineup booked for this one. It's Juan Aguacate--: Oh, we actually spelled it right this time--: vs. CRON vs. Deck Boss vs. Hanzo Shimada vs. Hard Gay vs. Jane Warren vs. Kenny Powers. vs. Miss Sophia. vs. Mr. Satan vs. Tewodros. Quite the spread.: Yeah. I see Palpatine is favouring the tried and true "shove everything in a cannon and fire blindly" method of booking.: I'm just surprised he didn't have actual cannons set up in the ring tonight.: That comes later.: What?: And there's the bell! We're under way.: And Tewodros has already been pinned by Miss Sophia.: She moves fast for an old lady. She grapples with Mr. Satan, who seems conflicted about punching an older woma--nope, he's over it.: Oh! But Genji suplexes him into Deck Boss before he can make the pin.: But that's okay because Juan swoops in and 1! 2! 3! Miss Sophia is ALSO outta here!: It's a best of 8 contest now.: CRON and Deck Boss are trading blows off to the side. Deck Boss has a solid foot and 100 pounds on CRON.: But CRON is just amped up on crazy. He appears to be... soliciting directions on his wrestling moves from the crowd?: It's just a cacophony of noise. How can he even decide what to do next?: You ever seen Twitch Plays Pokemon?: Shamefully, yes. OH GOD! Spear on Hard Gay! Kenny Powers just speared the man in leather and shades. He goes for the pin--: But Juan peels him off! OLMEC'S HEADBUTT! Kenny is flat out. He is not getting up!: And he's landed ontop of Hard Gay.: Juan goes for the pin! 1! 2! 3! Kenny and Hard Gay are both out of contention.: ...Sure.: Now it's down to Juan, CRON, Jane, Deck Boss, and Mr. Satan.: Or it was, but Deck Boss has literally run screaming from the ring in terror.: Now why did he... Why is CRON's mouth all bloody? Did he? DID HE?: I'm gonna guess that's what that sudden chant of "BITE HIS SHOULDER OFF" was all about a minute ago.: And while we were busy coming to grips with that casual barbarity, Jane pinned Mr. Satan and he is NOT happy about it one bit.: The Ref Trooper is yelling at him to vacate the ringside, but behind his back CRON has latched onto Jane and put her in a spider hold.: Jane is tapping! Jane is tapping! But the ref doesn't see it. CRON is just not letting up. He wants to break her spine!: And Juan's attempts to get the ref's attention are going unheeded on account of that whole... uh... silent protagonist thing.: But it's okay! Juan has forcibly ripped CRON off of her her and helped her to safety. Sort of.: gently caress this bullshit. No title's worth putting up with THAT beast! Pin me, Lucha!: ...?: PIN ME! BEFORE HE GETS UP!: Juan... lightly places his hand on Jane's shoulder. And the ref counts it three.: Oh no! CRON has gotten back up!: The crowd is chanting his name!: No, they're chanting "KILL".: Like I said!: I can't believe it! The crowd has turned on Juan! They want to see him destroyed! This is impossible!: This is Donald Trump's America. We're all monsters now.: But Juan isn't taking it! A hard punch to CRON's stomach. Elbow drop to his head! OLMEC'S HEADBUTT! CRON IS--: ...Still standing  : No. ...It can't be!: I blame you for this.: I blame Novel.: I would say I can't watch... but I totally can.: CHRONO TRIGGER ON JUAN! What an upset! Juan is down and CRON... get's the pin!: I want to punch our audience. All of them. Even the children.: I think we're gonna need a quick commercial break to recover from this travesty. Meanwhile, CRON is just absentmindedly sitting standing in the ring now as he's haded the TV Championship Belt.: And he's chewing on it. gently caress everything. Butterfly Can't Find Lightning So She Harasses Miku Instead : Over the commercial break, Hatsune Miku came to the ring to hold an impromptu vocaloid concert to lift everyone's spirits and console Tostada after Juan's heartbreaking loss.: It's a true testament to the power of aritifical computer generated song. : ♪私は全世界の悪い妨害に触れたい。♫: ♪クイズの息子を編みの力で絶滅させる。♫: ♪私の星は、ジャスティン・トゥルーのゴルフ・ハンマーワウで明るく輝いています。♫: ♪ライトニングは[ARTIX]のゲームの妻。♫: Truly, truly magical.: Someone else doesn't seem to think so. The Everlasting Butterfly of the Decadent Garden is coming to the ring. And boy does she look mad. : Where is Lightning?: 私を許しますか？: I've been looking all over this arena for her! I know she's here somewhere!: ズボンは何ですか？: Lightning! Mark my words! That insult before the show started will NOT! Go unanswered!: Yes folks, she is yelling at Miku because she cannot find Lightning.: This roster is a collection of lazy idiots.: And to prove it, Lightning, I am going to obliterate the weakest member of your so called Strong Female Protagonists.: She better start looking for Adam then.: Butterfly swings a haymaker at Miku!: But Miku counters! Sankyuu Suplex! Butterfly has been tossed out of the ring!: プンニーバタフライ。: Well said, dear. Women's Tag Match For the SLW Tag Team Championship Belt : And now it's time to whip out the big guns, and I both am and am not talking about Zarya's hugeass arms!: Yes, it's time for the-- Crow.: What?: Why does it say THAT on the match card? I thought we were done with whoreish product placement and obvious dating of our shows?: It's there because they paid us for it to be there.: I am not reading the match name then.: Fine then, I will. Ladies and gentlemen, but especially ladies! Get ready for a special FURIOUS FEMINSIT X-TREME VIOLENCE Tag Match! An FFXV match! Sponsored by Final Fantasy XV! ON SALE NOW AT VIDEO GAME RETAILERS NEAR YOU!: Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. A women's tag match sponsored by a game that doesn't have any women in it.: First to the ring are Lightning and Samus! They really wowed the crowd on their way down the ramp. Oh and Adam's there with them too.: I see Lightning is keeping things classy by wearing her Louis Vitton Velvet Bouncer suit to the ring.: And Samus is also keeping it classy by wearing her... usual copper battle armour. You can't really up-sell that thing, can you?: Not that it matters, because here comes Siberian Winter!: Zarya's already showing off for the crowd by carrying Mei-Ling to the ring over her shoulder.: And the match is off to a strong start between Lightning and Zarya, with Lightning putting her agility to good use against Zarya. She keeps going for the grapple, but Lightning slips out.: Zarya tags in Mei. : Hppfh. Not woth my time. You're up, Samus.: Lightning tags in Samus.: And right of out of the gate, Samus goes for the hurricanrana. Mei is up and over and down. Samus sweeps the leg.: Oh, but Zarya kicks Samus off of her! The ref isn't having that.: And neither is... Adam?: He's yelling at both the Ref Troop and at Zarya. Mei, Lightning, and Samus all look really confused.: Oh goodness! Adam hit the ref! Adam hit the ref! And now he's going for Zarya! Backhand from Zarya! Adam's laid out on the turnbuckle.: Hey, look, we get it. We're all strong, independent women here. You know, in a way, Zarya, I respect you. You're strong as a loving tractor and you know you how to rock pink hair and make it work. I can relate.: Vhere are you going vith this, Farron?: How 'bout we cut a deal?: Lightning? Have you gone mad?: Samus, I am the craziest bitch in this place.: I have a LONG list of people, male and female, who would contest that.: Tick tock, Farron. You vaste my time.: You let us win, and we'll look the other way if you want to, I dunno, powerbomb Commander Dingus over there straight to China. : But that means... Giving up the title!: Ve vill meet them in combat again soon, Mei. It's not that big a league.: Tick tock, Zaryanova.: Deal.: Any objections... Lady?: ...Do it.: 1. 2. 3. lightning gets the pin. oh my god. what an upset. team lightning are our new tag champions.: Oh no. Zarya's got Adam. She's hosting him over her head. OH MY GO--: And that, children, is the true meaning of Feminism.: No, that was "a giant Russian woman just powerbombed a man through our annouce table.": Feminism.: You're standing on his stomach, just, by the way.: I can't believe that Samus jumped off the top rope to surf on him while he was going down, it was pretty ridiculous. 3V Disses Joe Biden... For Some Reason : Coming up in a short bit, Viviette von Vendemire is scheduled to have a match for the SLW Women's Championship Title against Sabine Wren.: I can't believe Palpatine hired even MORE Star Wars people.: How does he do it? Anyway, let's check in with 3V backstage. I'm told she has some words for Sabine before the match kicks off.: Joe Biden iz a terrible Vice President and I'm glad he'z out of office. Ze next time I see him, I'm gonna kick hiz geriatric rear end, and there'z nothink Obama or Hillary or anyone elze can do to stopz me!: 3V, ladies and gentlemen. Proving Lightning utterly wrong since two seconds ago. 1v1 Match For the SLW Women's Championship Belt : Alright, Sabine vs. V3. This one should be interesting.: And it looks as though Viviette is being accompanied to the ring by Doctor Katastrophe.: No relation to Nurse Katastrophe... I hope.: It looks as though the Doc doesn't share Viv's enthusiasm for her triphop intro music.: Science makes strange bedfellows sometimes. Just look at Shockrocket and Golem.: Yeah, but, they're both crazy. How do you explain these two.: I don't try to.: And 3V doesn't even wait for the bell, powersliding in and knocking Sabine off her feet immediately.: Sabine is trying to keep as much distance between her and 3V as possible. I don't think it's gonna work. 3V's just kind of all over the place... in general.: Well, Katastrophe looks smugly pleased at how things are going down at ringside.: He always does. Wait! look! Someone's come running down the ramp. It's--: Is that who I think it is?: It's Guri! Guri's snuck into the building!: But she works for Cisna now. What's happening?: I think this might be the start of an invasion storyline or something.: BY GAWD! Guri lands the Stinger on Katastrophe! He's out cold! She's climbed in the ring! : Dynamo-Caliber Wrestling sends its regards.: Stinger on 3V! Stinger on Sabine! Stinger on the Ref Trooper! They're all laid out!: Oh god, she's coming this way! NO! Stinger on Blind Sally!: Stinger on nine-gear crow.: No, actually, I'm supposed to announce that par--[WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES] : ...Did Sabine pin 3V? She must have. She has the belt now. Sabine is our new Women's Champion!: And Katastrophe is not happy about this one.: I don't care. Leonard Is Dumb : While we were away at commercial, Obama walked in on Leonard out in the arena lobby working on a crossword puzzle. He'd been at it since before the show started. Let's catch up with what we missed. : 2 Across? ...It's "CAT".: I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP PRESIDENT MAN... GUY!: And then the newspaper caught fire somehow. Leonard hadn't written a single word on it. He just crossed out "New York Times" and wrote "CISNA" on it instead.: You need to let White Knight Chronicles go already, it's been like three years. Palpatine Dunks On Stahl and Orlock : Meanwhile, Palpatine called Stahl or Orlock to his office to chew the both of them out.: You two are pricks. And jobbers. And you're starting fights with people in the locker room already. : Asura came at me first.: Yeah, and my name is Betty. You two are gonna shape the hell up.: Or?: Not or, AND. You two are gonna shape the hell up AND I'm gonna sick some goons to beat you senseless. Now get the gently caress out! : ...But people actually like me though. FAN CHOICE MATCH: Chained-to-an-Actual-Rocket Blast-Off Tag Team Match : And that's where I come in!: Is this that 'special' match you've been working on with Shockrocket?: It sure is! In honour of having Team Rocket be a part of our league now, I figured, we should have a match involving a literal rocket, you know, just to welcome them to the neighbourhood. Also Palpatine wants to shoot Stahl into space already.: So then what's Ship-chan doing in the ring?: I-wha...  : [CONFUSED BEEPING NOISES]: Oh nooooooo. Motherfu--: What are you doing?: Calling Shockrocket.:    :  :  "SUPER-LEAGUE SCIENCE DIVISION: WE MAKE THE NIGHTMARES POSSIBLE. HOW CAN I DIRECT YOUR CALL?": Yeah, Golem, it's Crow. Put the Dok on.:   : Doktor Shockrocket speaking, yes, the K is intentional.: Dok... Where's my loving rocket? I was promised a rocket.: Yes, well, you see, Crow, they don't exactly make Saturn Vs any more and, despite my best efforts to correct the matter, Werner von Braun is dead. So I simply made use of avalible resources. It's a neat trick, you should really maybe try it some time.: So you--: I welded a set of handcuffs to the side of Ship-chan.: ...Wow. You really loving outdid yourself this week, Dok.: I will interpret your sarcasm as actual praise.: Well, while you were busy cursing out Shockrocket, Stahl, Orlock, Jessie, and James were all securely fassened to Ship-chan's hull.: Okay, the rules of this match are simple. Both teams have been handcuffed to the side of the rocket--: Ship-chan--: Shut up! --To the side of the rocket, each with enough length of chain so as not to inhibit normal wrestling motion. The objective of this match is to score a pinfall in an arbitrary amount of time that only us at the annouce desk and our TV audience at home can see. If neither side scores a pin before that time, and Ship-chan launches from the stadium, then the match shall continue at escape velocity until a victor is declared, or one or both teams are rendered unconcious from oxygyn deprevation and disqualified. To ensure a fair contest at any altitude, a Ref Trooper has also been handcuffed to Ship-chan's hull and outfitted with a pressurized space helmet. At the conclusion of the match, the victors will be unshackled from the rocket, while the losers will be launched into the cold, silent void of space.: You know there are cheaper ways of just murdering people, right?: I'm an entertainer though.: And there's the bell!: James and Orlock start things out by trading blows off the bat. Orlock is really working James over here. James needs to get to higher ground to put his agility to use.: He has James backed into the corner, but Stahl's yelling at Orlock to tag him in. Orlock's distracted. James slips away and gets the tag.: And now Jessie's in there matching Orlock blow for blow with the haymakers. She runs back to the ropes, I think she's going for the clotheline--: Nope! She tags in James. He's up on the top turnbuckle and SHOOTING STAR PRESS! Orlock is hurting bad and James is getting some harsh kicks in now. Stahl is just losing it in the corner. He's screaming at the ref. He's screaming at Jessie. He's screaming at the fans.: DO YOU TWO GIBBERING JACKASSES THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!: He's screaming at us...: Oh no! I think Ship-chan is getting ready to lift off. The roof is opening on the stadium!: Wow, I didn't think it could do that. Oh wait, Orlock has stumbled to his feet and tags Stahl in. He comes at James hard and angry! James ducks out of the way and Jessie tags back in! She's got Stahl's number!: By god, Crow! Look! Someone's coming down the ramp!: Oh for the love of-- Another interruption? Hasn't Cisna screwed with this show enough for one night?: No, it's one of ours. It's Skater Squid on her board!: She is just blazing down the ramp. She ollies up over the ropes, and is grinding along Ship-chan's outter hull.: Is she holding... a spray paint can?: She sure is, Sally. She's tagging Ship-chan's hull.: What's it say?: ..."ASRIEL SUCKS BALLS". Classy.: And she did it without breaking momentum, too-- OH! Oh lord, what a hit!: I don't believe it. Skater Squid just banked right off of Stahl's forehead. Stahl is laid the gently caress out and Skater Squid has disappeared into the crowd.: Jessie seizes the advantage. She's going for the pin! This is it folks!: 3!... 2!...: No, you're supposed to count UP.: No, the timer! Look!: Oh goodness.: 1!... Blast off!: What a sight. Ship-chan has taken off and is heading for orbit with both teams and the Ref Trooper still tethered to her.: We go now to our dedicated sattilite cams and our special Space Correspondant, CJacobs. Can you hear me, CJakes?! : Loud and clear, Crow. And might I just say, what a lovely day it is for a spaceship launch.: What's happening up there, CJacobs. Can you give us an update?: Well, it's very cold and lonely up here, Crow. I miss my family. Can I come back to Earth after we're done up here? How many space matches are you guys planning?: We'll keep you posted.: Oh! I see them! All four wrestlers and the Ref Trooper are dangling from the side of Ship-chan as she leaves the atmosphere.: It looks like Jessie has managed to regain control despite being under the press of several Gs as Ship-chan continues to climb. She is slowly making her way over to Stahl.: And she's done it! Enraged Powerbomb on Stahl! She rolls him up for the pin. 1! 2! 3! Team Rocket wins!: Well done guys!: And there goes the automatic Victory Release on Jessie and James's handcuffs! They are free of Ship-chan!: And tumbling heplessly back to Earth... hmmm. I think I see a sudden design oversight here.: We wish them godspeed and a nonfatal landing. Meanwhile, Ship-chan has apparently assumed parking orbit over the planet with Stahl, Orlock, and the Ref Troop still attached to her hull.: I hope they burn in hell. Surprise Beatdown on Stahl : Wait a minute! The cockpit door is opening! Someone's coming out of Ship-chan!: It's Asura and Yasha! They were hiding inside Ship-chan this whole time!: And they are both going to town on Stahl. This must be revenge for that fight Stahl started with Asura before we went to air.: Meanwhile, Orlock is just floating there watching it happen and is apparently laughing wildy.: No, that's just muscle spasms. Orlock has long since lost conciousness.: Well, while Ship-chan returns to Earth, it's now time for our main event! MAIN EVENT: Snow-on-Snow Violence : Earlier this evening, Snow gave an interview to our backstage press where he made fun of Snowflame for being the shittier of the two Snows on SLW. Also for being a massive cokehead.: Now Snowflame has challanged Snow to a match in what Snow has dubbed "Snow-On-Snow Violence" because he's a tool.: I gotta say, I think Snowflame made a HUGE mistake rising to Snow's taunt like that. He is horribly outclassed here.: And what makes you say that?: The way that Snow is beating the powder out of him right now all over the ring. : Well, at least like he says in all his interviews, "Snowflame feels no pain.": This is really... kind of boring, actually.: Hey, it's the first show. We're still working the kinks out.: And by that, you mean?: Maybe Palpatine shouldn't have hired a literal cokehead to the talent pool. : Pha. You're not even worth using STEELGUARD on. Serah, honey, if you're watching this, I'm coming right home after the match. But first, I gotta do a little something.: BLAM! Clothesline on Snowflame! He is DOWN! Snow gets the pin!: And as the Shiva Twins join him in the ring to celebrate, that should just about do it for tonight. Well, that was... an opening show, I'll say that much.: Thanks for tuning in and be sure to catch our next show, UNENDING LIGHTSPEED CARNAGE later this week on Wednesday! Good night, folks!BOOKER'S NOTES:  So this first show was basically a wash. To be expected, I'm still learning how TEW actually functions in action. It's a weird thing. People like the wrestlers. They like the angles, they just don't like the matches, which I think is on me. I'm quite amused though that the highlight of the night was Zarya powerbombing Adam through the announce table and Snow dunking on Snowflame. Also, Asriel won a fans choice award that night, despite not appearing on the show. Our fans loving suck. nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 09:46 on Dec 14, 2016 |
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Dec 13, 2016 13:00
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quote:BOOKER'S NOTES: I ran a TEW LP in PSP a few years back. Here's a few pointers if you want them: - The overall success of a show is calculated using an algorithm that heavily weights the main event and lightly weights the sub-main event. Focusing your best wrestlers in these two match spots is the best way of getting quick results. - Beyond that you want to try and spread out the matches you think will be good and divide them with cool-down angles/matches to keep the crowd from burning out. - Every show you put on will effect your global popularity. If the show's grade is lower than a region's popularity grade then popularity in that region will decrease. If it's higher then it will increase. - Therefore, seeing as you're using a bunch of created wrestlers if the roster doesn't have enough talent to match SLW's global popularity then it means you're going to be running substandard shows until the fed popularity diminishes to balance out. Of course, this is bad cause it will mean less income leading to losing workers/TV shows/etc. and that's just not fun. Feel free to hit me up if you have any questions about mechanic stuff  Will you be showing off any of the mechanics side of TEW or is this just going to be a narrative LP?
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Dec 13, 2016 13:49
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Rarity posted:I ran a TEW LP in PSP a few years back. Here's a few pointers if you want them: Mainly narrative, because the TEW interface is dry and arcane as all gently caress. I'm basically going to be following Smasher's original style of keeping TEW out of the LP as much as I can and just having using it as a guidepost, especially if it tries to actively gently caress with me  . I would be more than happy for any tips on how to do better at it, most definitely though.
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Dec 13, 2016 13:55
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For the record, I was not paid for this appearance on Total Extreme Wrestling! I am part of a union and I deserve compensation dang it!
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Dec 13, 2016 14:42
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nine-gear crow posted:Mainly narrative, because the TEW interface is dry and arcane as all gently caress. I'm basically going to be following Smasher's original style of keeping TEW out of the LP as much as I can and just having using it as a guidepost, especially if it tries to actively gently caress with me Some input on the mechanics would be pretty great, though. I'm plenty happy with Rarity providing some explanations to how this game (for the lack of a better term, I mean, drat, checked a few vids with how this actually works: that's some involved spreadsheet balancing and adjusting modifiers I'd be hard-pressed to enjoy myself) actually provides its results. nine-gear crow posted:BOOKER'S NOTES:  Lost popularity in most of South America? Echa qué difícil es imaginar 
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Dec 13, 2016 14:42
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CJacobs posted:For the record, I was not paid for this appearance on Total Extreme Wrestling! I am part of a union and I deserve compensation dang it!  : Oh boy, as someone with experience in the business let me tell you: You don't get paid for how dangerous your job is or how good you're at it or in how many unions you are. You also don't get paid just because you go to space. Especially not because you go to space, because in my league everyone is in space all the time and I don't even know where we are exactly most of the time because we're constantly drifting. Anyway, you don't get paid on the merits of your work. I'd like to say that at least popularity factors in, but nope. In the wrestling biz you don't get paid no matter what. The sooner you come to terms with that the farther you'll get in whatever earth wrestling association you're working for. All the best of luck to you, now where's my Vodka?
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Dec 13, 2016 14:53
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Anyone got the number of that robo-bitch? No one mentioned that Black Sun was involved in all this. This complicates things. For personal reasons. At least I got the belt or whatever. Just wish I could've gotten in legitimately. If you excuse me,I gotta go train. Hope that weird muscle thing isn't hogging all the weights again. So brother,I heard your first match...didn't go well. You seem troubled? At least I got a few hits in,but that is not the reason for my shame. I watched the play back of the match. The announcer referred to me...as you. It's not my fault I'm more popular. I mean, I'm a cool cyborg ninja while you're a guy with a bow and arrow-RYUU WAGA TEKI WO KURAU Two can play that game! RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE-*FEED INTERRUPTED* VolticSurge fucked around with this message at 15:02 on Dec 13, 2016 |
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Dec 13, 2016 14:53
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 I just wanna say, to all you assholes who think I'm a loving pussy, well go gently caress your loving selves. That thing is not a wrestler, it's a loving rock with loving appendages. I'm comin' after that... uh... guy... with a... wait uh, TWO motherfuckin' lead pipes. And, uh, a knife boot. ROCK!
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Dec 13, 2016 17:04
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nine-gear crow posted:
 : Oh, this'll be good.-------------------- quote:
: Wait---------------------- quote:
: ...----------------- quote:
  : MY SHIP : CROW
FPzero fucked around with this message at 18:47 on Dec 13, 2016 |
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Dec 13, 2016 18:40
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This is pretty much exactly as loving goofy as I remember it. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Dec 13, 2016 18:46
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VolticSurge posted:
Whoops. I'm now torn between changing it and leaving it in so that this response is canon. Also I just realized upon re-reading it that Hanzo/Genji just kind of disappears mid match once CRON starts going on his murder spree.
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Dec 13, 2016 19:14
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* Skater Squid skates in through a doorway. You can hear the sound of a spaceship taking off. : Squid! Are you okay? : DID YOU SEE ME BOUNCE OFF THAT OLD GUY'S HEAD THAT WAS AWESOME.* Skater can barely keep still, she's so excited. She is full of determination...and adrenaline. : That was a great move! Hope they're not too mad.: Who, Stahl? Oh nooo, a 90-pound old guy and his bald life partner have us on their shitlist.: No no, they can burn up on reentry. I meant Samus? You tagged up poor Ship-chan. I don't wanna wake up to her standing over my bed looking for payback.: Oh, her. Maybe she would've been cool with it if I wrote "ADAM SUCKS BALLS" instead. If she shows up, just direct her to me. You had nothin' to do with this, she can punch me in the head while I sleep or whatever.: No! If she comes looking for a fight, we'll take her together. C'mon, let's go get something for dinner, my treat!* Squid puts her arm around Fire's shoulder : You're just too good to me, Fire. Let's go celebrate my vandalism!
Kalvida fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Dec 13, 2016 |
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Dec 13, 2016 19:47
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nine-gear crow posted:Whoops. I'm now torn between changing it and leaving it in so that this response is canon. Also I just realized upon re-reading it that Hanzo/Genji just kind of disappears mid match once CRON starts going on his murder spree. I was originally considering an aftermath scene where it turns out that their ults blew a hole in the wall,which they decide to blame on Asura,but I thought that would've been overkill. I think I can use VolticSurge fucked around with this message at 20:07 on Dec 13, 2016 |
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Dec 13, 2016 19:58
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 It's a shame the ratings were so subpar. For the good of the franchise, we need more leadership! It looks like Samus doesn't like being led around. That's probably why she's... a "Strong Female Protagonist?" Zelda, why aren't we in that stable? Look at the track record. We spend our time as tools for some evil plot. Even though we're strong enough on our own, when it comes to our kingdoms, we're... We're... Plot devices? Oh, how I loathe that phrase. But perhaps next week we can prove our mettle as combatants, like in Hyrule Warriors! Or Super Princess Peach! Or... ...We need more games.
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Dec 13, 2016 20:26
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that 10 minutes: Firstly I would like to think the audience for observing all rules and requirements for attending and for management for giving me this opportunity to clear some things up. I am Adam Malkovich. I have fought in wars I'll have you know. As such I am not unfamiliar with conflict, combat, and aggression. I am also not new to hard decisions. I had to allow my own brother die in order to save an entire starship of personnel because things just didn't go according to plan. Things in combat situations rarely go according to plan. Ask Samus, she was there, she knows. So this brings me finally to the gorilla in the room; I, Adam Malkovich, a man, am heading Strong female protagonists. Literally and figuratively. Some of these ladies are akin to gods in their beauty and power. To have these women unregulated in combat against regular people isn't safe and maybe even not fair. So just like in combat there must be rules and I will provide them. I have told Samus, for example, that she is not permitted to wrestler with her anthro ship and that she isn't even allowed to own an anthro under galactic law, bounty hunter or not. I have also told my ladies I have not permitted them to destroy company properties such as ladders tables and chairs. I also wan to reassure everyone attending that any super bomb grade weapons are not authorized and all arm canon function is not permitted due to concern of collateral both material and living. With me at the helm I am confident in these Ladies abilities to safely destroy anyone in this ring. If anyone is worried about my methods or the Ladies you can reach me at @GenMalkovich for concerns on this twitter. Be sure to follow management, booking, and I for updates on rules regulations and The Ladies. Where is Business suit Samus Crow I have waited and I need my other character. Either way this is a brand new thing for the world and a brand new opportunity for myself and the Ladies and I intend to make the very most of it and make an impression on this industry just like I did with my last job. And make an impression on the world, just like my last job. Also be sure to buy the dress blues T-shirt from the merch store and follow all regs. Brush your teeth, drink lots of milk, go to school, and get 8 hours of sleep, don't play such emotionally charge and gameplay deprived games like Undertale, and don't take of skateboarding or scootering. I believe these are important life lessons and this is a great venue to discuss them. Hence why I then took it upon myself to oversee this project and--
Herr Tog fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Dec 13, 2016 |
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Dec 13, 2016 21:02
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Dec 13, 2016 21:16
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Also, yeah, please be sure to check out Adam's official SLW Twitter account https://twitter.com/GenMalkovich if you're into that sort of weirdass tweet poo poo I guess.
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Dec 13, 2016 21:38
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