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Harry Potter on Ice
Nov 4, 2006


IF IM NOT BITCHING ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS, REPORT ME FOR MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HIJACKED

Tinfoil Papercut posted:

I like football, not soccer.




I'll check those out, thanks!

Do check out slay the spire I have to stop and start playing a lot and you can do that without any button input needed to pause in order to not lose progress

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Tuxedo Catfish
Mar 17, 2007

You've got guts! Come to my village, I'll buy you lunch.
I'm looking for a strategy game where you have to manage a bunch of colorful personalities / subordinates. Something like a halfway point between Crusader Kings and Dungeon Keeper -- Crusader Kings falls short because over time your vassals kind of all blur together, and Dungeon Keeper has the personality I'm looking for in spades but the gameplay is far more RTS than management (although I do like the small management elements that are present, and a builder game would be fine.)

I'll be happily surprised if you can suggest something that's "evil overlord" themed, but it's not necessary.

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

I'm looking for a strategy game where you have to manage a bunch of colorful personalities / subordinates. Something like a halfway point between Crusader Kings and Dungeon Keeper -- Crusader Kings falls short because over time your vassals kind of all blur together, and Dungeon Keeper has the personality I'm looking for in spades but the gameplay is far more RTS than management (although I do like the small management elements that are present, and a builder game would be fine.)

I'll be happily surprised if you can suggest something that's "evil overlord" themed, but it's not necessary.
Depending on your definition of colourful, Rimworld and Oxygen Not Included are the current hotness. If you're looking for colourfulness on the scale of bile demons and dread reapers then I hear you and hope you get some good answers for me to check out.

e: Lobotomy Corporation might be what you want but I've never played it so I can't actually really recommend it so much as mention it exists.

Splicer fucked around with this message at 17:18 on Aug 25, 2018

Gravy Jones
Sep 13, 2003

I am not on your side

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

I'm looking for a strategy game where you have to manage a bunch of colorful personalities / subordinates. Something like a halfway point between Crusader Kings and Dungeon Keeper -- Crusader Kings falls short because over time your vassals kind of all blur together, and Dungeon Keeper has the personality I'm looking for in spades but the gameplay is far more RTS than management (although I do like the small management elements that are present, and a builder game would be fine.)

I'll be happily surprised if you can suggest something that's "evil overlord" themed, but it's not necessary.

Evil Genius is a fun Dungeon Keeper clone, where you're a James Bondesque super-villain managing a secret lair. I can't remember where it falls on the RTS/Management side of things, possibly a little more towards management than Dungeon Keeper. It's been a while since I played it so I'm not sure how it holds up though. I liked it a lot at the time.

Tuxedo Catfish
Mar 17, 2007

You've got guts! Come to my village, I'll buy you lunch.

Splicer posted:

e: Lobotomy Corporation might be what you want but I've never played it so I can't actually really recommend it so much as mention it exists.

I had a look and the Steam page is full of broken English, direct references to SCP, and a reaaaaally low-budget anime-imitator aesthetic. I appreciate the outside-the-box thinking, but I think I'll pass.

Eela6
May 25, 2007
Shredded Hen

Tinfoil Papercut posted:

So my wife is due with our 3rd in about two weeks. I will need to play some fun PC games where I can:

1) Play easily using only the mouse
2) Pause frequently and resume
3) Play without frequent and horrific blood curdling screams or discernible scenes of blood / gore

I already have a couple of decent options with Frostpunk and Grim Dawn. There any other chill games I can play during my paternity leave?

It's ancient, but if you've never played Heroes of Might and Magic 3, it's a stone cold classic.

There's a reason it's still a perennial bestseller on GoG. (PS, get the gog version and the fan HD patch, not the "hd" version on steam - that one's pretty bad).

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

I'm looking for a strategy game where you have to manage a bunch of colorful personalities / subordinates. Something like a halfway point between Crusader Kings and Dungeon Keeper -- Crusader Kings falls short because over time your vassals kind of all blur together, and Dungeon Keeper has the personality I'm looking for in spades but the gameplay is far more RTS than management (although I do like the small management elements that are present, and a builder game would be fine.)

I'll be happily surprised if you can suggest something that's "evil overlord" themed, but it's not necessary.

Majesty? Build a kingdom, try to convince the heroes you draw in to defend it from monsters and such.

I know it's very likely you know and have played it a ton, but just in case.

e: there's Divinity Dragon Commander, but it might be too janky

double nine
Aug 8, 2013

Zanzibar Ham posted:

Majesty? Build a kingdom, try to convince the heroes you draw in to defend it from monsters and such.

I know it's very likely you know and have played it a ton, but just in case.

e: there's Divinity Dragon Commander, but it might be too janky

Taaaaax colleeeectoooorrr

Domus
May 7, 2007

Kidney Buddies
Looking for a good "just one more time" game, the kind of game that lasts less than four hours but has enough change to keep drawing you back. Prime examples would be Faster than Light, Into the Breach, Don't Starve, Kingdom, or Tomb of the Necrodancer. Not into pure roguelikes, as they tend to last too long and kill you too easily. Bonus points if it works with a steam controller, or is on the PS4.

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer

Domus posted:

Looking for a good "just one more time" game, the kind of game that lasts less than four hours but has enough change to keep drawing you back. Prime examples would be Faster than Light, Into the Breach, Don't Starve, Kingdom, or Tomb of the Necrodancer. Not into pure roguelikes, as they tend to last too long and kill you too easily. Bonus points if it works with a steam controller, or is on the PS4.

Brigador might work for ya. Missions aren't that long, as you go you get money to unlock new vehicles and weapons (which I actually haven't used yet because all I've done is story missions which give you a choice between various preset loadouts depending on the mission), you can blow poo poo up real good, it's a lot of fun.

If you do decide on it, remember you usually aren't supposed to just rush in for a frontal assault. That might work at the start, but eventually it'll be a death sentence.

Hwurmp
May 20, 2005

Domus posted:

Looking for a good "just one more time" game, the kind of game that lasts less than four hours but has enough change to keep drawing you back. Prime examples would be Faster than Light, Into the Breach, Don't Starve, Kingdom, or Tomb of the Necrodancer. Not into pure roguelikes, as they tend to last too long and kill you too easily. Bonus points if it works with a steam controller, or is on the PS4.

JYDGE

DOUBLE CLICK HERE
Feb 5, 2005
WA3

Domus posted:

Looking for a good "just one more time" game, the kind of game that lasts less than four hours but has enough change to keep drawing you back. Prime examples would be Faster than Light, Into the Breach, Don't Starve, Kingdom, or Tomb of the Necrodancer. Not into pure roguelikes, as they tend to last too long and kill you too easily. Bonus points if it works with a steam controller, or is on the PS4.

Armello, it's pretty much just a digital board game.

Domus
May 7, 2007

Kidney Buddies
Oh wow, these all look great, you guys rock. Armello looks really pretty, too.

Tuxedo Catfish
Mar 17, 2007

You've got guts! Come to my village, I'll buy you lunch.

Domus posted:

Looking for a good "just one more time" game, the kind of game that lasts less than four hours but has enough change to keep drawing you back. Prime examples would be Faster than Light, Into the Breach, Don't Starve, Kingdom, or Tomb of the Necrodancer. Not into pure roguelikes, as they tend to last too long and kill you too easily. Bonus points if it works with a steam controller, or is on the PS4.

Heat Signature.

Kenshin
Jan 10, 2007

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

Heat Signature.

Oh yeah, seconding this one. I loved Heat Signature.

Once you really "get it" and it all clicks, whew. What a rush.

InAndOutBrennan
Dec 11, 2008

Domus posted:

Looking for a good "just one more time" game, the kind of game that lasts less than four hours but has enough change to keep drawing you back. Prime examples would be Faster than Light, Into the Breach, Don't Starve, Kingdom, or Tomb of the Necrodancer. Not into pure roguelikes, as they tend to last too long and kill you too easily. Bonus points if it works with a steam controller, or is on the PS4.

Im having a lot of fun with Dead Cells right now. Runs are 45 min to 1h30ish depending how fast you go or how soon you die. You will die a lot.

Its roguey but for a guy not very in to roguelikes it doesnt really bother me.

Fat Samurai
Feb 16, 2011

To go quickly is foolish. To go slowly is prudent. Not to go; that is wisdom.

Domus posted:

Looking for a good "just one more time" game, the kind of game that lasts less than four hours but has enough change to keep drawing you back. Prime examples would be Faster than Light, Into the Breach, Don't Starve, Kingdom, or Tomb of the Necrodancer. Not into pure roguelikes, as they tend to last too long and kill you too easily. Bonus points if it works with a steam controller, or is on the PS4.

I don’t see Spelunky ok that list.

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY


InAndOutBrennan posted:

Im having a lot of fun with Dead Cells right now. Runs are 45 min to 1h30ish depending how fast you go or how soon you die. You will die a lot.

Its roguey but for a guy not very in to roguelikes it doesnt really bother me.

Getting comfortable with the game and just flying through levels feels as fun as Mark of The Ninja.
Dead Cells is so dang good.

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008
The soundtrack is surprisingly good, too.

Domus
May 7, 2007

Kidney Buddies

Fat Samurai posted:

I don’t see Spelunky ok that list.

Okay, add Spelunky, and Dungeon of the Endless, and Toejam & Earl, and....

chairface
Oct 28, 2007

No matter what you believe, I don't believe in you.

Alright so I'm a mean spirited piece of poo poo who wants to feel better about himself and my go-to on that is games like Load Out or Mechwarrior Online or even War Thunder. They key thing here is that I already have won when we drop in cuz I out-engineered the other fucker before we even get into time to play a FPS game. What're other good FPS/armored combat/etc games where I get to have won before the match starts cuz I'm not above linear programming builds or w/e?

StrixNebulosa
Feb 14, 2012

You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA

Does anyone in here know of any games that simulate being a priest/pastor? Graveyard Keeper has given me a bizarre itch - I like the patterns of decorating the church, preaching every sunday, and so on.

And no. No. Hitman 2016 does not count.

doctorfrog
Mar 14, 2007

Great.

The Guild?

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

StrixNebulosa posted:

Does anyone in here know of any games that simulate being a priest/pastor? Graveyard Keeper has given me a bizarre itch - I like the patterns of decorating the church, preaching every sunday, and so on.

And no. No. Hitman 2016 does not count.

Cultist Simulator!

Conquest of Elysium has at least one faction based around being a priest of something horrible and going around converting people and leading your congregations in praise?

StrixNebulosa
Feb 14, 2012

You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA

doctorfrog posted:

The Guild?

Apparently I own it and the second game, so I'll give 'em a go!

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Cultist Simulator!

Conquest of Elysium has at least one faction based around being a priest of something horrible and going around converting people and leading your congregations in praise?

Cultist Simulator doesn't scratch that itch, alas - there's not much work you need to actually /do/ to maintain your cult, and it's like, ehhh.

But I will take the excuse to play more CoE4, that game rocks. Thank you! :D

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer
There's that game Inquisitor? I heard it starts out looking like a Diablo-knock off, but then once you get past the first dungeon it gets better? Prolly good to ask people who played the game though.

Fat Samurai
Feb 16, 2011

To go quickly is foolish. To go slowly is prudent. Not to go; that is wisdom.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Conquest of Elysium has at least one faction based around being a priest of something horrible and going around converting people and leading your congregations in praise?

Catholicism, IIRC.

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!

StrixNebulosa posted:

Does anyone in here know of any games that simulate being a priest/pastor? Graveyard Keeper has given me a bizarre itch - I like the patterns of decorating the church, preaching every sunday, and so on.

my dad is a pastor. i don't know of any games but perhaps i can describe the job and people can respond with games that sound similar. so, here are some job descriptions:

- drive thousands of miles in your car each year visiting parishioners who are in sick in the hospital or at home
- attend church council meetings and other bureaucratic functions, usually on weeknights. note that church councils sometimes have members who spend hours and hours bikeshedding the most trivial stuff, and/or who randomly decides to tell you that you are doing your job wrong for arbitrary or factually-wrong reasons
- write and deliver a speech every week, derived from a bunch of really old writings, and try to make it engaging, thought provoking, inspiring, etc
- teach a class every week about theology and church history to a bunch of hormonal junior high kids. try to get them to take it seriously. this class is usually on a weeknight as well
- learn how to respond to parishioners who come to you all excited about something they learned which happens to be super heretical or just not something that your denomination believes

I'm being a little sarcastic in tone here but I assure you that everything I wrote is true.

Lutha Mahtin fucked around with this message at 17:54 on Aug 31, 2018

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
Now do one about grand theft auto's unrealistic judicial system.

Also everything after the first point seems like a giant waste of his limited existence, he said euphorically.

Tuxedo Catfish
Mar 17, 2007

You've got guts! Come to my village, I'll buy you lunch.
I know there are a number of decent bartender simulators, that's pretty close to being a priest.

nachos
Jun 27, 2004

Wario Chalmers! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

I know there are a number of decent bartender simulators, that's pretty close to being a priest.

I don’t know about decent, but the red strings club was a bit of a bar tending simulator

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!

Splicer posted:

Also everything after the first point seems like a giant waste of his limited existence, he said euphorically.

yes, it's like every other job

StrixNebulosa
Feb 14, 2012

You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA

Lutha Mahtin posted:

my dad is a pastor. i don't know of any games but perhaps i can describe the job and people can respond with games that sound similar. so, here are some job descriptions:

- drive thousands of miles in your car each year visiting parishioners who are in sick in the hospital or at home
- attend church council meetings and other bureaucratic functions, usually on weeknights. note that church councils sometimes have members who spend hours and hours bikeshedding the most trivial stuff, and/or who randomly decides to tell you that you are doing your job wrong for arbitrary or factually-wrong reasons
- write and deliver a speech every week, derived from a bunch of really old writings, and try to make it engaging, thought provoking, inspiring, etc
- teach a class every week about theology and church history to a bunch of hormonal junior high kids. try to get them to take it seriously. this class is usually on a weeknight as well
- learn how to respond to parishioners who come to you all excited about something they learned which happens to be super heretical or just not something that your denomination believes

I'm being a little sarcastic in tone here but I assure you that everything I wrote is true.

So I wanna play a cross between Euro Truck Sim 2, something like Mafia or Werewolf, with some writing thrown in. :v:

Blast of Confetti
Apr 21, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
How's Elite Dangerous?

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!

StrixNebulosa posted:

So I wanna play a cross between Euro Truck Sim 2, something like Mafia or Werewolf, with some writing thrown in. :v:

i've been wracking my brain (just a tiny bit) since first reading your question. i think the only game i'm familiar with, that captures the kind of bureaucratic rules and multiple-opposing-stakeholder issues that your average pastor deals with, would be something like Papers Please. i will note that i speak from the perspective of the denomination i was raised in (i.e. the one my dad serves in) which is a mainline protestant church in the USA

please everyone reading this note that the list i put in my recent post about this is pretty sarcastic. there are a lot of other things with the job, many of which are super cool and good, actually

SpaceGoatFarts
Jan 5, 2010

sic transit gloria mundi


Nap Ghost

Lutha Mahtin posted:

my dad is a pastor. i don't know of any games but perhaps i can describe the job and people can respond with games that sound similar. so, here are some job descriptions:

- drive thousands of miles in your car each year visiting parishioners who are in sick in the hospital or at home
- attend church council meetings and other bureaucratic functions, usually on weeknights. note that church councils sometimes have members who spend hours and hours bikeshedding the most trivial stuff, and/or who randomly decides to tell you that you are doing your job wrong for arbitrary or factually-wrong reasons
- write and deliver a speech every week, derived from a bunch of really old writings, and try to make it engaging, thought provoking, inspiring, etc
- teach a class every week about theology and church history to a bunch of hormonal junior high kids. try to get them to take it seriously. this class is usually on a weeknight as well
- learn how to respond to parishioners who come to you all excited about something they learned which happens to be super heretical or just not something that your denomination believes

I'm being a little sarcastic in tone here but I assure you that everything I wrote is true.


It looks like your dad chose the wrong religion, if he was a Trappist monk, he would be brewing beer, praying all day, doing exorcisms. Probably you wouldn't be born though

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



Hanging out with bros, brewing beer, if not for it being such a sausage fest being a Trappist monk would be the life. Not sure what their stance is on video games

SpaceGoatFarts
Jan 5, 2010

sic transit gloria mundi


Nap Ghost
The monks I know developed a virtual pilgrimage on cd back in the days of Encarta. I'm pretty sure they are OK with video games too.

Honestly they are super chill and it's fun talking with them, breaking stereotypes about priests and monks.

It's not all about casting buffs or healing spells

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
Japanese dating sims probably off the table though

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StrixNebulosa
Feb 14, 2012

You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA

Lutha Mahtin posted:

i've been wracking my brain (just a tiny bit) since first reading your question. i think the only game i'm familiar with, that captures the kind of bureaucratic rules and multiple-opposing-stakeholder issues that your average pastor deals with, would be something like Papers Please. i will note that i speak from the perspective of the denomination i was raised in (i.e. the one my dad serves in) which is a mainline protestant church in the USA

please everyone reading this note that the list i put in my recent post about this is pretty sarcastic. there are a lot of other things with the job, many of which are super cool and good, actually

Papers Please is a universal experience to almost all jobs, I believe. I love it dearly.

Also, I am familiar with the Methodist branch of churches in the US, because my Dad raised me as a methodist. I'm not anymore, but the pastor as a kind of church manager, speaker, social-person and so on was neat to watch from the outside.

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