Clingstone peaches are bullshit

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Clingstone peaches are bullshit

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Farmer Ben posted:

The difference between clingstone peaches and freestone peaches is little more than what you would think. For clingstone peach varieties, the flesh of the peach will cling to the stone (or pit), making it more difficult to remove. Freestone peaches separate easily from the pit, making it easier to pull out once the fruit is sliced in half. Some peach varieties, as we'll discuss later, advertise themselves as "semi-cling". As much as I'd like to tell you, our valued customers and random web watchers, that "this peach is semi-cling, not clingstone", the truth of the matter is so very few semi-cling peaches ever separate from the pit that you might as well not even make the distinction.'Rising Star' peaches

At the time of this writing, at the start of the 2010 peach season, our earliest ripening peach, our 'Baby Juble' peaches are clingstone. We have several earlier varieties planted who will also be cling. 'Rising Star' and 'Sentry' are next, both reportedly "semi-clingstone" and you remember what that means. 'Red Star' you will get a few more freestone peaches than other "semi-clings" but our first true freestone peach is 'John Boy'. From that point forward, all of our peaches are freestone. 'White Lady' is our first freestone white peach. We grow a mid-season clingstone called "Baby Gold #5" to make our canned peaches. If you ever had a notion to can some for yourself (to deploy some good rural verbiage), you can special request some Baby Gold #5's from us!

So which is better? Well, everyone likes freestone better, mostly because they like to pull out the pit. Truthfully, there's nothing about a freestone peach that tastes better than a clingstone. If one peach tastes better than another, it's because the variety is good, not necessarily because it fell off the pit. 'Rising Star' and 'Baby Gold #5' are two of my favorite peaches for flavor and they are clings, but I understand the preference folks have for freestone. Link

You understand it? No poo poo!! Who would ever prefer the bullshit peach? Also, why do stores not advertise whether their peaches are freestone or clingstone? It makes a huge difference to my enjoyment. And! I! Know!! I would pay more for freestones! Any sane person would!

You can sort of tell by timing though. Clingstones ripen first.

State Freestone Start Date
Michigan- early August
Georgia- mid June
South Carolina- late June
Texas- mid June
California- mid June
Idaho- mid to late August

This is also why the Damson plum is better than your conventional crap bad plum (sphereplum). Their pits are freer. Also they are tasty.

# ? Jul 27, 2014 23:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 23:53

MMOs & Welfare: Jan 24, 2007; by Lowtax

I know what you mean, OP. if I had my little way i'd eat peaches every day

# ? Jul 27, 2014 23:55

Starving Autist: Oct 20, 2007; by Ralp

indeed. all fruit is bullshit, op. eat doritos instead. your welcome

# ? Jul 27, 2014 23:56

Weird BIAS: Jul 5, 2007; so... guess that's it, huh? just... don't say i didn't warn you.

Pick posted:

This is also why the Damson plum is better than your conventional crap bad plum (sphereplum). Their pits are freer. Also they are tasty.

Ah yes, the Damson option.

# ? Jul 27, 2014 23:56

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

A man should never refuse to taste a peach. He may never get the chance again.

# ? Jul 27, 2014 23:58

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Moridin920 posted:

A man should never refuse to taste a peach. He may never get the chance again.

True

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:02

you were warned: Jul 12, 2006; (the S is for skeleton)

Oh man, I hear you. I loving hate trying to eat cling peaches. You end up holding this slimy, sour blob, leaving you with a good dose of anger and frustration.

Freestone peaches, though... :swoon:

Can't wait!

Edit: Thought that said July, not June. They must be here by now! I haven't been paying attention! Now what, do I do a taste-test to figure out which ones don't suck?!

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:06

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

Nectarines have made peaches obsolete.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:06

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

lol looks like an anus.

also clingstone sounds like something I'd call a dingleberry.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:08

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

JakeP posted:

Nectarines have made peaches obsolete.

not entirely true although they are very good as well

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:14

NiceGuy: Dec 13, 2006; This is my BOOMSTICK; College Slice

Just enjoyed some peach tea while reading this thread. It heightened my enjoyment of my beverage. 5

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:26

Faux-Ass Nonsense: Feb 9, 2013; by Lowtax

a bone to pick posted:

lol looks like an anus.

it does

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:27

Starving Autist: Oct 20, 2007; by Ralp

I Have Opinions On Fruit That Aren't Your Typical Goon Opinions

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:29

NecroMonster: Jan 4, 2009

my favorite jolly rancher flavor is the peach ones wel thats my post

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:29

John Denver Hoxha: May 31, 2014; What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts

I'm movin to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

NecroMonster posted:

my favorite jolly rancher flavor is the peach ones wel thats my post

watermlon is better

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:50

Space Bat: Apr 17, 2009; hold it now hold it now hold it right there
you wouldn't drop, couldn't drop diddy, you wouldn't dare

Pick posted:

watermlon is better

You are one dumb bitch

# ? Jul 28, 2014 00:56

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Truth be told I didn't know there was a difference until this thread was posted.

Also lol because most goons honestly don't eat fresh produce so the entire concept is beyond them. It's telling, funny, and sad.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 01:14

Kasumeat: Nov 18, 2004; I SHOULD GO AND GET FUCKED

I appreciate a freestone as much as the next guy but 'round here the clingstones are usually tastier. I guess it's a struggle to ripen the freestones in Canada.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 01:21

Zeluth: May 12, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Why hasn't the grapple taken off?

# ? Jul 28, 2014 01:23

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Peaches are great, but summer is all about the cherry harvest.

The first time in summer I can walk into the supermarket and see fresh cherries, ooh baby, those Mackinaws are forgotten.

EDIT: gently caress this, going out to see if I can get some more cherries right now.

Bloody Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 01:29 on Jul 28, 2014

# ? Jul 28, 2014 01:24

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

I was unaware of this terminology, but it makes perfectly good sense. Freestone 4 lyfe!

# ? Jul 28, 2014 01:28

Trixie Hardcore: Jul 1, 2006; Placeholder.

I prefer the nectarine variety because the fuzzy peach skin kinda ooks me out. It's one of the few food hangups I have & the same reason I don't eat unhulled edamame.

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Peaches are great, but summer is all about the cherry harvest.

Yeeeeeeeessssssss. I love going to the beach with a big umbrella & a cooler full of lemonade & sweet cherries. It reminds me of being a little girl & is like the quintessential summer thing to do.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 01:42

neato burrito: Aug 25, 2002; bitch better have my chex mix

JakeP posted:

Nectarines have made peaches obsolete.

nectarines are loving boss

# ? Jul 28, 2014 01:44

Izumi Konata: May 4, 2012; by Ralp

Pick posted:

watermlon is better

# ? Jul 28, 2014 01:55

angerbot: Mar 23, 2004; plob

Peaches own and you should just eat the skin, it takes too long to peel, that is valuable peach-eating time

# ? Jul 28, 2014 01:58

Izumi Konata: May 4, 2012; by Ralp

angerbot posted:

Peaches own and you should just eat the skin, it takes too long to peel, that is valuable peach-eating time

??!
were u demodded?

# ? Jul 28, 2014 02:05

Blind Rasputin: Nov 25, 2002; Farewell, good Hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world.

Peaches and women have a lot in common. I can eat a peach for hours.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 02:15

porkchop_express: May 27, 2004

Blind Rasputin posted:

Peaches and women have a lot in common. I can eat a peach for hours.

came to post this drat you

# ? Jul 28, 2014 02:17

Haverchuck: May 6, 2005; the coolest

I just use a small knife to remove the pit from a clingstone, it doesnt affect my enjoyment of the fruit

# ? Jul 28, 2014 02:21

naem: May 29, 2011

They look like vagina buttholes

# ? Jul 28, 2014 02:25

Guy Fleegman: Jul 8, 2009; by XyloJW

# ? Jul 28, 2014 02:26

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

Guy Fleegman posted:

would

# ? Jul 28, 2014 02:31

OMFG FURRY: Jul 10, 2006; [snarky comment]

Guy Fleegman posted:

baby your pussy like a rotting peach pit

# ? Jul 28, 2014 02:45

ghlbtsk: Apr 19, 2005; these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS

FruitOpinions.txt

# ? Jul 28, 2014 03:30

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Peaches are great, but summer is all about the cherry harvest.

The first time in summer I can walk into the supermarket and see fresh cherries, ooh baby, those Mackinaws are forgotten.

EDIT: gently caress this, going out to see if I can get some more cherries right now.

Cherries are really good actually produce from Washington owns

# ? Jul 28, 2014 05:59

naem: May 29, 2011

Traverse city Michigan is the cherry capital of the world!!

# ? Jul 28, 2014 06:04

dentist toy box: Oct 9, 2012; There's a haint in the foothills of NC; the haint of the #3 chevy. The rich have formed a holy alliance to exorcise it but they'll never fucking catch him.