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The year is 1997. The rap wars are in their lethal sunset. San Severn and Mark Coleman are still important. New York and LA hosted some of the worst gang-related violence in the decade but not MMA. And the East Coast-West Coast hip-hop rivalry rides again, with UFC Fight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRfnWpV4i7E Frankie Edgar vs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWbXQQG9B6c Urijah Faber The ultimate East Coast vs. West Coast battle is naturally the main event. The Answer from Jersey will be meeting the California Kid, who is returning to Featherweight so he doesn't have to beef with his boy TJ Dillashaw at the top of the bantamweight division. Former featherweight WEC champ Faber has never lost a non-title fight in his career, but former Lightweight UFC champ Edgar has been on a tear at 145, temporarily borrowing Mighty Mouse's record for latest finish by submission over Cub Swanson, exorcising a bizarre possessed scarecrow and having a Fight of the Night performance against Charles Oliveira after losing a clear but at times competitive bout against champ Jose Aldo. The California “Kid” however is 35, has had a long career, and is coming off of a surprisingly competitive bout with Bruce LeeRoy and a fight with Francisco Rivera he was probably losing until an eyepoke, so it seems likely that Faber is not vaccinated against the wrestlefucking Edgar is gonna bring this way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xzU9Qqdqww Gegard Mousasi vs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RijB8wnJCN0 Costas Philippou Mousasi is known for his stone-faced, chill demeanor, and is looking like a solid UFC middleweight, probably. Moving back down to the division from light heavyweight on the back of a tepid jabbing of Illir Latifi, Mousasi had a fight of the night with Lyoto Machida, continued Mark Muñoz' current trend of dying in the first round, got tapped by Jacare and reminded Dan Henderson he was up past lights out at the nursing home. That paints a weird picture of where he is at in terms of talent as he loses to good fighters (sometimes not even competitively) and easily beats not-so-good ones. Costas falls in the latter category though, so unless the Cypriot gets an early knockout with his overstated power, Mousasi is probably the safe pick. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM0-ZU8njdo Mark Muñoz vs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4l36YrHw2w Luke Barnatt This is Mark Muñoz' retirement fight because he wanted to be sacrificed in front of fellow Filipinos. He is bad now and he will be missed. RIP. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSbZidsgMfw N E I L M A G N Y vs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0 Hyun Gyu Lim Lim is pretty much the PSY of MMA. He's not the most talented South Korean on the roster, and he's probably not even that good honestly. But he's super fun and enjoyable in a kind of weird way. He wrecked Pascal Krauss and Takenori Sato but lost in a FotN to Tarec Saffiedine, although he managed to pick up steam and find moments in the latter rounds after his corner explained to him that leg kicks were in fact legal and the referee would not disqualify Saffiedine for them. But Magny cannot be described - there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order. A mountain walked or stumbled. If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of Magny. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings; but it was the general outline of the whole which made it most shockingly frightful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeB3eYk1Ze0 Phillipe Nover vs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvFoasVNHXQ Yui Chul Nam Dana White looked America in the goddamn eye and said Phillipe Nover reminded him of “a young Georges St-Pierre.” Why we watch a sport helmed by such a dishonest and vile man I will never know, as the result of watching him fight is much like this video — a strange imp doing terrible things while everyone around him acts like it is devistating, to comedic effect. His not-awaited return to the UFC will be against Yui Chul Nam, who earned a split decision victory over fellow Asian Lightweight Kazuki Tokudome. Watch this fight, I guess! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of-lpfsBR8U Mark Eddiva vs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgLFKWy04eE Levan Makashvili Wushu Clan fighter Mark Eddiva was expected to face Alex White, that kid I interviewed once who drank gasoline, wrecked Estevan Payan and then had a rough go against Lucas Martins and Clay Collard. White got injured, so now Eddiva is fighting Levan “Whootie Who?” Makashvili. Sherdog confirms Makashvili has in fact had fights, twice in a bad promotion I've at least heard of. What fun! OTHER poo poo TO WATCH Fox Sports 1 Prelims, 8 a.m. ET Tae Hyun Bang vs. Jon Tuck Zhang Lipeng vs. Kajan Johnson Li Jingliang vs. Dhiego Lima Ning Guangyou vs. Royston Wee UFC Fight Pass Early Prelims, 7 a.m. ET Roldan Sangcha-An vs. Jon Delos Reyes Nolan Ticman vs. Yao Zhikui Official weigh-ins, 7 a.m. ET Friday, May 15 on Fight Pass and Youtube And click here to request a wake-up call from the UFC because this poo poo is too goddamn early! Official MMA Snack Rating: Chicken Binakol, the least popular and lowest-reviewed Filipino recipe I could find on allrecipes.com  Ingredients 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 2 small onions, quartered 3 lemon grass stalks, white parts only, cut into 1-inch pieces 1 (1 inch) piece fresh ginger, sliced 4 cloves garlic, chopped 1 (3 pound) whole chicken, cut into 4 pieces 2 young coconuts, liquid only 1 chayote squash, diced 1 tablespoon fish sauce Directions 1. Heat vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat; cook and stir onions, lemon grass, ginger, and garlic until tender, about 5 minutes. Add chicken and fry until lightly browned, about 10 minutes, turning occasionally. 2. Pour coconut water into skillet and stir in chayote squash. Season with fish sauce. Continue to simmer until chicken is no longer pink in the center and juices run clear, about 10 minutes more.
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May 15, 2015 02:10
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i can dig it
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May 15, 2015 02:13
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Hyum Gyu Lim is massive, bad at cutting weight and hits like a loving truck. He owns.
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May 15, 2015 02:23
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someone give a path to victory for Urijah because I'm not seeing it unless Frankie gets hurt (highly likely, since it's Frankie) and Faber goes into kill mode which he excels at
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May 15, 2015 02:27
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPJfJiikwuI
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May 15, 2015 02:31
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-Atom- posted:someone give a path to victory for Urijah because I'm not seeing it unless Frankie gets hurt (highly likely, since it's Frankie) and Faber goes into kill mode which he excels at I mean, Faber only has a few tricks (but they are cool tricks) and none of his tricks are going to work on Frankie so it's gonna be a tough night for him.
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May 15, 2015 02:40
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-Atom- posted:someone give a path to victory for Urijah because I'm not seeing it unless Frankie gets hurt (highly likely, since it's Frankie) and Faber goes into kill mode which he excels at Fight is called off in favor of a competition over who has the evenest tan and sickest abs (bro). Legititmately though, probably a hail mary guillotine. Frankie usually has one wobble in him in his fights and Urijah does hit hard and press for the choke once he has someone hurt. So it's pretty much your routine - if he can catch him post.
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May 15, 2015 02:41
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also gently caress Luke Barnatt who is the shittiest fighter
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May 15, 2015 02:43
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-Atom- posted:also gently caress Luke Barnatt who is the shittiest fighter Do you have any good opinions ever? Luke has looked great since TUF. He is training full time in the states now. He will never be championship level, but he has what it takes to be a gatekeeper for a few years
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May 15, 2015 03:40
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Pwny_Xpress posted:Luke has looked great since TUF. Not even a little bit true.
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May 15, 2015 03:51
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Luke Barnatt is cool cause he is big and goofy and he looks awkward as hell when he moves and then he kicks people in the head. It's like watching a dumb puppy pounce around and its adorable.
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May 15, 2015 03:57
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I like Luke Barnatt but he is fairly lovely as far as how he composes himself in the cage & his overall techniques go. He takes a lot of shots every fight, either intentionally or because he's bad at defense, I can't remember which one he admitted to but he did say that. He took pride in it from what I remember. When he does strike they don't have a lot of power on them and are sloppy. I wouldn't call him the shittiest fighter, that's reserved for that guy Stephen Thompson knocked out a few years ago. Mark Munoz from a few years ago would demolish Barnatt. These days though... geez that's a close matchup.
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May 15, 2015 03:59
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Bubba Smith posted:I like Luke Barnatt but he is fairly lovely as far as how he composes himself in the cage & his overall techniques go. He takes a lot of shots every fight, either intentionally or because he's bad at defense, I can't remember which one he admitted to but he did say that. He took pride in it from what I remember. When he does strike they don't have a lot of power on them and are sloppy. I agree Barnatt is likeable but technically flawed, I disagree this is a hard-to-call matchup in that three months ago Munoz was taken down and choked unconscious by a guy who was subbed by Jon Fitch and decisioned by Ryo Chonan. Also I think we may be wrong that Munoz is the nicest guy in MMA. Refs know him better than any of us do and they seem to let him die as often as possible.
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May 15, 2015 04:10
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hopefully the Mark Munoz that showed up against the Barbarian is there Saturday
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May 15, 2015 04:11
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Barnatt looked like dog poo poo in his first Ufc fight, but his second one showed he improved a lot in the 'fighting at range' department. Then he looked decent until he didn't in his next two.
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May 15, 2015 04:15
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I just remember that his last fight was loving awful to watch.
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May 15, 2015 05:02
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I am so excited for Lim vs Magny it makes me shake
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May 15, 2015 05:04
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Luke Barnatt looked good on the Gus/Manuwa card when he finished the guy he fought then went on to get robbed in his next 2 decisions but they were such bad fights it's not worth taking his side on it
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May 15, 2015 14:47
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Lloyd Boner posted:I am so excited for Lim vs Magny it makes me shake You might want to get that checked out by a medical professional
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May 15, 2015 15:07
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i hope hyun gyu lim fucks magny up.
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May 15, 2015 16:19
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Mean Bean Machine posted:i hope hyun gyu lim fucks magny up. shut up!!
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May 15, 2015 16:30
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMscMrMfCYQ Faber's tan game looking strong.
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May 15, 2015 16:35
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Magny is going to sleep early tomorrow... at 11 am ET.
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May 15, 2015 17:04
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Card starting at seven in the god drat a m is Bad Sad and Wrong Headed but I gotta wake up early so I can support my man Magny may his reign last a thousand terrible years
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May 15, 2015 17:10
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colonel_korn posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMscMrMfCYQ That's actually jaundice from wholly preventable Hepatitis A, which he refused to be vaccinated for.
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May 15, 2015 17:21
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neil magny is ranked.
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May 15, 2015 18:24
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He won't be after tomorrow
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May 15, 2015 18:26
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Lloyd Boner posted:He won't be after tomorrow indefinite suspension for devouring the earth and sun
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May 15, 2015 18:35
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acai moonsault posted:shut up!! the dream is over...
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May 15, 2015 20:03
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will watch any ufc card with a bunch of koreans on it
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May 15, 2015 22:10
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The main event walkout music is literally Death Row vs. Bad Boy and I have to miss it. God drat this early morning UFC. I hope that Mark Munoz gets a win and retires because he's a nice guy and deserves a big reception.
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May 16, 2015 04:04
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I will be watching this between bouts of home work and cheering for Korean fighters because I was raised by a Korean woman, also Korean fighters own. edit: for content/proof of ownage 
Pwny_Xpress fucked around with this message at 06:43 on May 16, 2015 |
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May 16, 2015 05:03
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Who's your favorite rapper and why is it biggie?
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May 16, 2015 05:15
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He expended too much energy and got tired
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Hey guess what's for ungodly early breakfast motherfuckers Yeah that's right I got Extra Toasty Cheez Its, they broke street date on this extreme new snack food at a Local Store and from what I could tell this was the only box there So Suck It Magny Haters My Breaskfast Is Well Done I'm thinking about making homemade ~magic~ macaroni and cheese for breakfast and then crumbling these motherfuckers over it here;s the recipe: the word "hedonism" underlined twice edit: the early prelims start in like six hours gently caress that poo poo ugh ugh' DoombatINC fucked around with this message at 05:48 on May 16, 2015 |
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May 16, 2015 05:43
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Alright
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May 16, 2015 05:50
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In all seriousness this is an insane time for MMA to be happening in the PST time zone but at the same time it's nice to finally have the prelims and main event on the same channel for once
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May 16, 2015 05:54
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DoombatINC posted:In all seriousness this is an insane time for MMA to be happening in the PST time zone but at the same time it's nice to finally have the prelims and main event on the same channel for once
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May 16, 2015 06:09
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Bluedeanie posted:But Magny cannot be described - there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order. A mountain walked or stumbled. 
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May 16, 2015 06:21
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Neil Magny was a boring poo poo fighter that somehow matured into being an okay fighter while having dimensions approaching Jon Jones' while at welterweight
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May 16, 2015 06:33
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origami posted:Neil Magny was a boring poo poo fighter that somehow matured into being an okay fighter while having dimensions approaching Jon Jones' while at welterweight I see this in magny's future though 
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May 16, 2015 06:45
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