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that its impossible to actually do work. They sent an email last night saying we had to stow any classified material and can't work on anything classified all day because theres a bunch of germ bags running around and they might know some soviet kids at school and they gossip. One kid threw up in a cubical. Share your bring your sexproof to work day stories!
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Apr 28, 2016 18:48
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i don't have kids so i'm just carrying around a ziploc bag of my cum
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Apr 28, 2016 18:49
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:i don't have kids so i'm just carrying around a ziploc bag of my cum Same but just loose in my shirt pocket
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Apr 28, 2016 18:50
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crotch spawn
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Apr 28, 2016 18:50
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put headphones on and don't do any work then and if any lovely kids come near you just back your chair out really fast into their chair-level faces and loudly go OOPS
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Apr 28, 2016 18:51
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My job doesn't have a take your child to work day because I work in a government agency where we interview a certain demographic you would not want your children around.
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Apr 28, 2016 18:51
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various cheeses posted:Same but just loose in my shirt pocket Same except I just left mine in my boxers after the morning session. The faint aroma gets some attention, to which I just give a knowing grin.
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Apr 28, 2016 18:52
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Tell one of them to hide in a supply closet or above the ceiling tiles and watch the parents go crazy when they think their kid has been abducted.
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Apr 28, 2016 18:52
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we had to halt all operations at the dick sucking factory. gonna be way behind schedule after this
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Apr 28, 2016 18:52
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:i don't have kids so i'm just carrying around a ziploc bag of my cum youre only supposed to do this one day a year? i better go clean out the break room fridge
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Apr 28, 2016 18:52
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various cheeses posted:Tell one of them to hide in a supply closet or above the ceiling tiles and watch the parents go crazy when they think their kid has been abducted. in this vein: kidnap and ransom a child
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Apr 28, 2016 18:53
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apparently no one at my office got that memo, and i'm glad of it
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Apr 28, 2016 18:55
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paul_soccer10 posted:in this vein: kidnap and ransom a child Sedate a child and lay your eggs in its stomach. Swing by the house later to pick up your new brood.
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Apr 28, 2016 18:56
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Enjoy the noise and germs. 
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Apr 28, 2016 18:58
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I hired a primordial dwarf to play my child. $800 for the day, pretty sweet deal if you ask me tina
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Apr 28, 2016 18:58
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I liked take your child to work day when I was a kid. All the inmates would get out of my way and be really nice to me.
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Apr 28, 2016 18:59
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Lowtax's kid gets to stay home from school today
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Apr 28, 2016 19:00
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Skyl3lazer posted:that its impossible to actually do work. They sent an email last night saying we had to stow any classified material and can't work on anything classified all day because theres a bunch of germ bags running around and they might know some soviet kids at school and they gossip. One kid threw up in a cubical. How did they get clearance?
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Apr 28, 2016 19:00
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I am seriously struggling with the day today, because my almost non stop cursing and vulgarity is just BARELY tolerated by my co-workers on the best days, but it's not really child appropriate... Maybe I'll work on the patio
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Apr 28, 2016 19:01
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donkey salami posted:youre only supposed to do this one day a year? Oh poo poo sorry dude, I forgot to bring my own lunch 
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Apr 28, 2016 19:01
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Hector Beerlioz posted:Lowtax's kid gets to stay home from school today i guess you could say lowtax works from home 
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Apr 28, 2016 19:02
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Iron Crowned posted:How did they get clearance? they don't, which is why we can't work on anything classified for the entire day. you know, like the entire office does normally, which is why it's a classified work space.
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Apr 28, 2016 19:02
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Just lol at people who try to insulate kids from cursing. Lack of reality much? Kids make all the best curse-insults. Also can you imagine the horror of today for mod boychildren? I hope they gonna be ok. We'd better prepare some stadium cushions.
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Apr 28, 2016 19:03
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Skyl3lazer posted:they don't, which is why we can't work on anything classified for the entire day. you know, like the entire office does normally, which is why it's a classified work space. Sounds like you should classify a sick day tbh
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Apr 28, 2016 19:03
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sir ive got a clear shot but the terrorists all seem to have their kids with them today. please advise, over
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Apr 28, 2016 19:04
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Take 3 kids and paint 1,2, and 4 on their heads.......something...something....amber alert.
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Apr 28, 2016 19:05
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im the germ bag
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Apr 28, 2016 19:05
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Skyl3lazer posted:that its impossible to actually do work. They sent an email last night saying we had to stow any classified material and can't work on anything classified all day because theres a bunch of germ bags running around and they might know some soviet kids at school and they gossip. One kid threw up in a cubical. You fool you should have left misinformation lying around everywhere 
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Apr 28, 2016 19:06
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:sir ive got a clear shot but the terrorists all seem to have their kids with them today. please advise, over We are the us, no one cares, bomb them. Then bomb the hospital the survivors get carted to. Usa! Usa!
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Apr 28, 2016 19:06
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:sir ive got a clear shot but the terrorists all seem to have their kids with them today. please advise, over So your average game of counterstrike then
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Apr 28, 2016 19:06
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We never had bring your child to work day when I worked in an office because it was a secure location. I remember this one chick used to use her card to get in the office with her shitbag kids after hours. Except we have to discuss situations where people get raped and murdered, and subsequently you start saying gently caress a lot not knowing some morons kid is 5 feet away outside of your office. loving idiot. She got fired.
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Apr 28, 2016 19:11
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bringing my kids to work is great, i always make sure to let them run into the offices of people who hate kids so i can laugh at how sour faced they get, and then if you have your kid you get to leave work early while the ~child frees~ have to pick up the slack
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Apr 28, 2016 19:12
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i dont like this holiday and honestly it just ruined my lunch beer i had down at the strip bar
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Apr 28, 2016 19:12
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these kids better shut the gently caress up i have retards to jerk off
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Apr 28, 2016 19:14
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extra stout posted:i dont like this holiday and honestly it just ruined my lunch beer i had down at the strip bar Did you see the dancers' kids there?
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Apr 28, 2016 19:16
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Everyone in my building has several kids at least. Glad all these pieces of poo poo never heard of this day.
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Apr 28, 2016 19:16
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lol "breeding"
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Apr 28, 2016 19:19
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Yeah my office doesn't have bring your kids to work either. They used to do it once a year, but one stole a gun off one of the secret service agents which kinda ruined everything. But even before then it was pretty irresponsible imo. They could have got fried by a laser grid, or wandered into the launch bay, or gotten shot by a man in a tuxedo....
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Apr 28, 2016 19:20
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i support make yoru child work day
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Apr 28, 2016 19:23
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i don't have any kids, so i took someone else's to work instead
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Apr 28, 2016 19:29
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