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the popes toes posted:the little girl kept on missing her shot at the wolf trailed by her puppies because the helicopter was swaying in the wind. When she finally put one through the mother wolf's eye, I said "Welcome to the Republican Party sweetheart. Now pretend the puppies are Iranians and do it again." HEH! repubblicnas think iranians are sub-human 
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Sep 16, 2008 05:14
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i'll know the world is a better place if when I'm 65 and the Republicans are no longer around
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Sep 16, 2008 05:19
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"Does Rev. Wright love america as much as you?"
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Sep 16, 2008 05:58
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RUSSERT: Shirley MacLaine writes in her new book that you sighted a UFO over her home in Washington state, that you found the encounter extremely moving, that it was a triangular craft, silent and hovering, that you felt a connection to your heart and heard directions in your mind. Now, did you see a UFO? RIP stupid motherfucker
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Sep 16, 2008 06:00
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too soon
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Sep 16, 2008 06:02
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Yes, the Honorable Dennis J. Kucinich's presidential campaign did end too soon gently caress Russert, thanks a lot for costing Dennis the election, Tim got what he deserved.
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Sep 16, 2008 06:06
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rocco tuna posted:I've never quite figured out that whole "help thy neighbor" poo poo in the bible gets ignored by the people who spend so much time reading it (aside from republicans being inexplicably hypocritical by nature) Because most Christians don't really read or pay attention to the bible. Except for all the parts about hating fags. quote:I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?'
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Sep 16, 2008 06:13
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dohminator posted:I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?' this actually sounds like something a kid would do, although they would also probably ask what they could do with the rest of the money
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Sep 16, 2008 06:17
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quote:I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?' dohminator fucked around with this message at 06:26 on Sep 16, 2008 |
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Sep 16, 2008 06:23
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I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?" She replied, "I'd get rid of taxes so everyone has more money!" "Wow - what a worthy goal," I told her. "What government programs would you cut to make up for the lost revenue?" She thought that over for a few seconds 'cause she's only 6. And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why do we need to cut spending? Can't we just print more money?" And I said, "Welcome to Republican Party, sweetheart."
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Sep 16, 2008 07:15
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I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I just asked for her email address. Later I sent her this email: [Fwd: [Fwd: Fw: Bear Facts]] Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance. This photo is of a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed 'Bearack Obama'! She replied: "You sure are one stupid motherfucker." And I said "Welcome to the Republican Party, sweetheart!"
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Sep 16, 2008 07:18
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I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?" She said, "I would be tough on terrorism." I said, "NOT EXACTLY, you missed the Iran Resolution vote on terrorism and your good friend Ali Abunimah supports the destruction of Israel." She thought that over for a few seconds 'cause she's only 6. And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and said, "GOD HELP US IF WE JUST SIT IDLY BY AND LET THIS PERSON BECOME OUR NEXT PRESIDENT. IT WOULD BE SUICIDAL FOR US TO DO NOTHING TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING. PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE ONES YOU VALUE, JUST AS I AM DOING. IT'S TIME THE 'SILENT MAJORITY' TAKE A STAND! GET OUT AND VOTE! PLEASE!" And I said, "Welcome to Republican Party, sweetheart."
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Sep 16, 2008 07:35
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I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "What do you think of this picture, honey?" The picture was a photoshop of an elephant raping a donkey while taking a poo poo on the girl's parents faces. She thought it over for a few seconds 'cause she's only 6. And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and said, "What do you call that picture, Mister?" And I said, "The Aristocrats!"
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Sep 16, 2008 07:40
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Trogador posted:I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I just asked for her email address. Trogador posted:I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?" Trogador posted:I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "What do you think of this picture, honey?" just... don't post this thread could have been goldmined, but you killed it, and now it's dead
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Sep 16, 2008 07:55
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can TT just delete his posts because that is some loving egregious shitposting.
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Sep 16, 2008 07:58
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I was talking to a friend's daughter the other day. Both of her parents, Republicans, were standing there, so I asked her, "Do you want to be elected to office one day?' She replied, 'I do, but there is a conflict of interest--I'm a gay Republican. I'd never get elected!' I told her, 'You can still be gay and Republican--just never admit it, and condemn homosexuality publicly. Why, take a look at Mark Foley, Larry Craig, and Bob Allen, for starters. You just have to be willing to throw your dignity and credibility out the window, dear.' She thought that over for a few seconds 'cause she's only 23. And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and told me to go gently caress myself. "Welcome to the Republican Party, toots," I said as I slapped her rear end. Gio fucked around with this message at 08:21 on Sep 16, 2008 |
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Sep 16, 2008 08:15
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Fast Luck posted:Yes, the Honorable Dennis J. Kucinich's presidential campaign did end too soon poor dennis he was so close to winning too
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Sep 16, 2008 08:31
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you don't think America was enightened enough to elect him if he hadn't been sabotaged by loving Tim Russert? no loving way
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Sep 16, 2008 08:36
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I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd support comprehensive sex education in public schools.' 'Wow - what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to the kindergarten class and learn about having sex with your classmates there thanks to presidential candidate Barack Obama.' She thought that over for a few seconds 'cause she's only 6. And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why does Obama want me to have sex with my classmates?" And I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party, sweetheart." comedyblissoption fucked around with this message at 08:45 on Sep 16, 2008 |
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Sep 16, 2008 08:39
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I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, conservative Republicans, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd cut all taxes.' 'Wow - what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'However, every country is build with taxes. The road we're standing on, the school you go to: all build with taxes. Taxes make this country work. We're currently in huge debt, and the larger that debt becomes, the weaker the economy in which you'll grow up. You can't just blindly cut them and not face consequences.' But she had already walked away, and was spitting on a homeless man at the end of the street. "What was that you said?", she asked. And I said, "Oh, nothing, sweetheart.", followed by a whisper, directed at noone in particular but myself, "welcome to the democratic party".
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Sep 16, 2008 09:57
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TuxRacer69 posted:can we collect these on a site and digg them or something jesus http://digg.com/political_opinion/Welcome_to_the_Republican_Party
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Sep 16, 2008 10:23
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quote:I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?'
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Sep 16, 2008 10:32
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I told my dad I'm gay he said "welcome to the republican party" Then he winked and ran off to call his friend. He says he wants me to meet with him after church to talk politics.
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Sep 16, 2008 10:37
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Trogador posted:I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?" i thought abunimah was for a single state solution to israel ...he wrote a book about it...
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Sep 16, 2008 10:48
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Trogador posted:I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "What do you think of this picture, honey?" great never post here again thanks
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Sep 16, 2008 11:45
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Sai posted:I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, conservative Republicans, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?' this one is great, but drat, you set the bar too high with your first one.
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Sep 16, 2008 11:50
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wait whats this atheist bear thread people were talking about a few pages back, I can't find it
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Sep 16, 2008 12:12
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MasterSlowPoke posted:wait whats this atheist bear thread people were talking about a few pages back, I can't find it The thread too good for the LF Goldmine
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Sep 16, 2008 12:14
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I was at a party talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' 'Wow - what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to worry so much, dear. By cutting taxes on the rich, you make the economy grow and everyone will have food and houses one day.' Quickly, she recalled the argument that her parents ingrained into her mind: 'That's not working at all. Right here on this street, we have a homeless person who has no access to basic human needs. How can you celebrate and spend money on stupid things you don't need while a small fraction of your economic success could benefit so many others?' And I said, "Welcome to the Republican party, sweetheart." 
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Sep 16, 2008 13:53
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Gowb posted:it would probably be more productive to write these for liberals. so get cracking.
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Sep 16, 2008 15:17
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A man was talking to his daughter as they watched news coverage of Hurricane Katrina. The daughter told her father that she would like to some day help minorities, those less fortunate, those touched by disaster. The father replied, "Well honey, why wait? We can take some money out of your piggy bank and take it down to the local shelter and give it to some of the black people sheltered there." After thinking for a moment, the precocious little girl replied, "Well wait Dad, why should good white people like us give any of our money that we have worked hard for to black people?" Then mommy commented "well we don't in the end we just left all those black people to eat poo poo in the drowned ruins of their city becouse we're a bunch of selfish pricks" Then the little girl replied "what would happen if the disaster happened where we live? " The father smiled and replied, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
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Sep 16, 2008 15:23
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A man rapes his daughter. Then he said "Welcome to the Republican Party."
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Sep 16, 2008 16:20
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Madtown posted:, "Why do we need to cut spending? Can't we just print more money?" a grown rear end man nonironically asked me this once
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Sep 16, 2008 16:48
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Gothy McAngstydie posted:a grown rear end man nonironically asked me this once sounds like an rear end man indeed
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Sep 16, 2008 16:55
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A young guy had just got back from the gay bar and a man kicked him in the nuts. He got back up, and the guy slapped him across the face. He said "Hey dude, what's up?". The guy took out a baseball bat and smacked his knee. He started limping away but then turned back around and said "Hey, would you like to come over for dinner tonight?", and the guy said "Yeah", and then punched him in the gut. That night, the guy tackled him and then cut off two of his fingers with a saw, and the guy still asked him if he wanted dessert. The man holding the bloody saw smiled softly, and said "Welcome to the Log Cabin Republicans"
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Sep 16, 2008 16:57
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I was talking to a friend's teenage daughter, who had stopped in front of my house while jogging down the sidewalk in a pair of tight short shorts. We got mildly flirtatious, and in a youthful indiscretion she revealed that she'd like to come into my house. "But I don't have any condoms and I'm not on birth control, Mr. Craig. Besides, the bible says premarital sex is wrong and I want to save my virginity for the man I marry." she agonized. "When's the last time you took a dump?", I inquired. Her eyes lit up with joy as she started rushing toward my front door, already starting to peel off the skin tight tank top she was wearing before she got inside. "Wait so it's okay if you gently caress me in the rear end?" she inquired with much enthusiasm. "Welcome to the Republican Party"
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Sep 16, 2008 17:18
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I was talking to a friend's teenage daughter, who had stopped in front of my house while jogging down the sidewalk in a pair of tight short shorts. We got mildly flirtatious, and in a youthful indiscretion she revealed that she'd like to come into my house. Since she never had any sex-ed classes because the governor removed them from the curriculum, she had no idea about pregnancy, STD's, or any other forms of birth control. 5 months later she was starting to display a sizable belly, so to cover for the fornicating whore daughter, her mother forced a dumb redneck kid at her school to marry her and claim the baby as his own. I later visited her as she was lying at home complaining about how this pregnancy was ruining her life, and how she was being used as a symbol by her parents. I hugged her, and whispered gently in her ear: "Welcome to the Republican Party"
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Sep 16, 2008 17:30
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I was talking to a friend's teenage daughter, who had stopped in front of my house while jogging down the sidewalk in a pair of tight short shorts. We got mildly flirtatious, and in a youthful indiscretion she revealed that she'd like to come into my house. Since she never had any sex-ed classes because the governor removed them from the curriculum, she had no idea about pregnancy, STD's, or any other forms of birth control. 5 months later she was starting to display a sizable belly, so to cover for the fornicating whore daughter, her mother forced a dumb redneck kid at her school to marry her and claim the baby as his own. I later visited her as she was lying at home complaining about how this pregnancy was ruining her life, and how she was being used as a symbol by her parents. Incapable of restraining myself I started humping her ripe form, and whispered gently in her ear: "Welcome to the Republican Party"
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Sep 16, 2008 17:50
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First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me - and I was welcomed to the Republican party
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Sep 16, 2008 17:54
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quote:And then Wesley Snipes looked up and said "Well wait Dad, why should good black people like us give any of our money that we have worked hard for to white people?" And then he was arrested for tax evasion.
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Sep 16, 2008 18:11
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