NFL Offseason N/V February: Welcome to offseason hell

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Offseason N/V February: Welcome to offseason hell

«‹›142 »

Patriots won the Super Bowl? This poll is closed.
Yay!	386	56.02%
Boo!	303	43.98%
Total:	689 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

7 RING SHRIMP: Oct 3, 2012

Did Marshawn ever have anything in place where Skittles or another sponsor would pay his fines for wearing his/their apparel during the interviews when he wasn't supposed to? Like how Nike was paying Jordan's when he was wearing Air Forces or his shoes or whatever. Like just be eating Skittles in every interview and wear your Beast Mode apparel and get Skittles to pay your fines?

And if Marshawn really wanted to play but the whole media hoopla is making him reconsider all he has to do is answer questions normally and the whole circus surrounding him disappears. Something tells me he didn't exactly hate having all those reporters going nuts

# ? Feb 10, 2015 20:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 13, 2024 02:20

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

military nicknames often fall into this catagory

Well yeah but it's still a TV show, you'd think they'd be hesitant to nickname a character 'spearchucker'

Different time, I guess

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:02

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

Intruder posted:

Well yeah but it's still a TV show, you'd think they'd be hesitant to nickname a character 'spearchucker'

Different time, I guess

It was a series of books/movie first, and he was a lot more prevalent there. I think the character was only in the first couple of episodes then he was gone, along with the guy who played the chaplain before Father Mulcahey came in.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:07

shiksa: Nov 9, 2009; i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

Intruder posted:

Well yeah but it's still a TV show, you'd think they'd be hesitant to nickname a character 'spearchucker'

Different time, I guess

i personally just wish that hawkeye had an assistant named "Greasy Anton, the Wop"

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:07

Boba Phat: Feb 19, 2003; Deal With It

waah posted:

seahawk posters were insufferable during the regular season, but seem chill as gently caress now. The dudes that stuck around were the fans anyways.

nerve posted:

they've always been chill af though

I've been really surprised over the last few years at the level of vitriol directed towards Seahawks fans. For a long time I couldn't really understand it. This year in particular it has struck me that some fan bases are defined more by the rivals they hate than the team they support, and that couldn't be further from the truth for the vast majority to Seahawks fans in my experience. We don't even gently caress with rival fans in the stands at home games. We just cheer like crazy people for our team. Bandwagon or no, Seattle fans love the Seahawks. They love the quirky personalities, the stop-me-if-you-can attitude, and the underdog roots of many players on the team. Contrast that with, say, almost any NFC East team. Being a Cowboys fan seems like it's as least as much about hating the Eagles, Redskins, and Giants as it is about loving the Cowboys. Of course this is just one person's opinion and perspective. I'm curious where fans of other teams feel their love my team/hate rival team ratio is at.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:10

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

i hate my team, but there's 4 or 5 teams that i hate more

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:11

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Volkerball posted:

i hate my team, but there's 4 or 5 teams that i hate more

Yeah

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:16

Dattserberg: Dec 30, 2005; National champion, Heisman winner, King crab enthusiast

Volkerball posted:

i hate my team, but there's 4 or 5 teams that i hate more

You're probably not a real football fan if you don't feel this way. Look at the NCAA thread. The posts are predominantly about teams/players that people hate.

Also, gently caress the Seahawks, I'm glad they lost.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:22

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Dattserberg posted:

You're probably not a real football fan if you don't feel this way.

Yeah! The only true football fan is one who cheers for a losing team! Success is wrong. Bad is good. 0 wins more equal than 16 wins!

Edit

Vvvv
What that post actually means is "it is subtle, but you clearly see deeper into the human soul than most. Also I have repressed sexual urges for you, Chiche." Try to keep up.

Chichevache fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Feb 10, 2015

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:29

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

You've obviously embraced reading is not reading lmao

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:30

GaussianCopula: Jun 5, 2011; Jews fleeing the Holocaust are not in any way comparable to North Africans, who don't flee genocide but want to enjoy the social welfare systems of Northern Europe.

V: The GOAT QB and the #1 draft pick of the 2030 NFL draft working out together (somehow the patriots were able to get that pick through shrewd trades)

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:35

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

GaussianCopula posted:

N:

V: The GOAT QB and the #1 draft pick of the 2030 NFL draft working out together (somehow the patriots were able to get that pick through shrewd trades)

I'm not surprised that Brady takes little boys to the locker room.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:36

7 RING SHRIMP: Oct 3, 2012

good one chiche

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:38

JIZZ DENOUEMENT: Oct 3, 2012; STRIKE!

Bill Polian is on NFL insider right now and he keeps saying these slightly weird things about Lynch. Seems like he doesn't like Lynch.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:39

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

What does it say about me that the graphic on the back of his shirt looks like a giant penis

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:40

waah: Jun 20, 2011; Better stay in line when
You see a Pavel like me shinin

Boba Phat posted:

I've been really surprised over the last few years at the level of vitriol directed towards Seahawks fans. For a long time I couldn't really understand it. This year in particular it has struck me that some fan bases are defined more by the rivals they hate than the team they support, and that couldn't be further from the truth for the vast majority to Seahawks fans in my experience. We don't even gently caress with rival fans in the stands at home games. We just cheer like crazy people for our team. Bandwagon or no, Seattle fans love the Seahawks. They love the quirky personalities, the stop-me-if-you-can attitude, and the underdog roots of many players on the team. Contrast that with, say, almost any NFC East team. Being a Cowboys fan seems like it's as least as much about hating the Eagles, Redskins, and Giants as it is about loving the Cowboys. Of course this is just one person's opinion and perspective. I'm curious where fans of other teams feel their love my team/hate rival team ratio is at.

Nah, I think everyone took my comment the wrong way and I could have worded it better. i mean after thr super bowl, the only seahawks fans posting consistently were the ones who were cool enough to deal with. Most of the posts were holy gently caress this sucks but we realize a 1-1 record in back to back super bowls is pretty good.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:43

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

Chichevache posted:

I'm not surprised that Brady takes little boys to the locker room.

Vintage 2013 Chiche

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:43

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

Intruder posted:

What does it say about me that the graphic on the back of his shirt looks like a giant penis

Intruder, I've examined the evidence carefully and in my mind there is no way that is not some sort of comically oversized penis

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:44

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Intruder posted:

Well yeah but it's still a TV show, you'd think they'd be hesitant to nickname a character 'spearchucker'

Different time, I guess

It was the 70'S. Hell, The Jeffersons / SOAP/ Benson debuted years after Mash and those shows were like half jokes about white people having no idea how to act around blacks people.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:44

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

All In the Family, y'all. Network TV was just better then.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:45

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Though the first episode of Soap featured a gay NFL quarterback, so you know.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:46

GaussianCopula: Jun 5, 2011; Jews fleeing the Holocaust are not in any way comparable to North Africans, who don't flee genocide but want to enjoy the social welfare systems of Northern Europe.

JIZZ DENOUEMENT posted:

Bill Polian is on NFL insider right now and he keeps saying these slightly weird things about Lynch. Seems like he doesn't like Lynch.

Bill Polian is an idiot and should not be in the HoF. He had Peyton Manning for over a decade and did only win 1 SB.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:47

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

GaussianCopula posted:

Bill Polian is an idiot and should not be in the HoF. He had Peyton Manning for over a decade and did only win 1 SB.

Peyton Manning is barely clutch. He's like clutch-lite with half the calories

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:49

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

GaussianCopula posted:

Bill Polian is an idiot and should not be in the HoF. He had Peyton Manning for over a decade and did only win 1 SB.

Against Rex Grossman.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:52

GaussianCopula: Jun 5, 2011; Jews fleeing the Holocaust are not in any way comparable to North Africans, who don't flee genocide but want to enjoy the social welfare systems of Northern Europe.

sweet thursday posted:

Peyton Manning is barely clutch. He's like clutch-lite with half the calories

Polian lost 3 SB with Buffalo too.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:52

warcrimes: Jul 6, 2013; I don't know what's it called, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a J4G's life.

GaussianCopula posted:

Bill Polian is an idiot and should not be in the HoF. He had Peyton Manning for over a decade and did only win 1 SB.

Polian's opinions are pretty old white guyish and I rarely listen to him but getting mad that he's in some special executives branch of the HoF is pretty dumb.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:52

Detroit_Dogg: Feb 2, 2008; Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT

Rod Woodson will be an assistant coach for the Raiders DBs this year. Rod Woodson and Charles Woodson reunited once again.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:54

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

Guys before we can determine russel wilsons salary -

How many jimmy johns does he own ?

# ? Feb 10, 2015 21:58

GaussianCopula: Jun 5, 2011; Jews fleeing the Holocaust are not in any way comparable to North Africans, who don't flee genocide but want to enjoy the social welfare systems of Northern Europe.

warcrimes posted:

Polian's opinions are pretty old white guyish and I rarely listen to him but getting mad that he's in some special executives branch of the HoF is pretty dumb.

There is no special executives branch in the HoF. Everyone goes into the same gallery.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 22:01

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

Bill Polian was tapped to become the Bills' new GM, but then backed out when Doug Marrone bad-mouthed the organization during his departure.

Wow I sure feel different about Doug Marrone's departure a month and a half after the fact, heh.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 22:03

t a s t e: Sep 6, 2010

Marrone saved us from polian

# ? Feb 10, 2015 22:17

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

Doug Marrone sounds like the name of a mid-level union boss you have to deal with when the city workers fixing a water main keep parking in front of your driveway and say they're on break every time you try to call them out on it

# ? Feb 10, 2015 22:18

warcrimes: Jul 6, 2013; I don't know what's it called, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a J4G's life.

GaussianCopula posted:

There is no special executives branch in the HoF. Everyone goes into the same gallery.

It's some kind of non-player thing that doesn't impact actual football players from getting in, right? If so, that was my point. If not, well, I still don't care.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 22:25

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

So I guess this is what the logo looks like when not viewed from a weird angle

# ? Feb 10, 2015 22:25

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Bill Polian also kept the Colts from going undefeated cursing us to endlessly have to suffer through the Dolphins undefeated aholes celebrating every year until they all die.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 22:26

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Intruder posted:

So I guess this is what the logo looks like when not viewed from a weird angle

Still looks like a penis.

# ? Feb 10, 2015 22:28

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

The prehensile penis of a lion mixed with your friendly neighbourhood tulip plant

# ? Feb 10, 2015 22:29

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

quote:

For most NFL rookies, the game is played at a dramatically increased paced. That wasn�t the case for Oakland Raiders quarterback Derek Carr last season.

"Sometimes, the games were really slow for me," Carr said Tuesday. "It was almost like I was waiting for it to speed up."

This shouldn�t be an issue for Carr in his second NFL season. Under new offensive coordinator Bill Musgrave, the Raiders will install a no-huddle offense. The change makes sense. Musgrave was the quarterbacks coach in in Philadelphia in 2014 under the guidance of Chip Kelly, who is known for running an extremely fast-paced offensive attack.

Musgrave is clearly mixing his Eagles' experience and Carr�s past with this approach.

"My last two years at Fresno State were 100 percent no-huddle, and I love it. I�m very comfortable in it," Carr said. "They are building this offense around me, and I�m really excited about it. I lit up when they told me."

Carr said the plan is still in its infant stages, and he is unsure of exactly how much the Raiders will use the no-huddle attack. It will be designed and developed in the offseason sessions and in training camp. But Carr said he expects it to be "more than average."

There were times in 2014 when Carr, who was taken with the No. 36 overall pick in the second round and was the only rookie quarterback to start every game, ran the no-huddle -- especially when Oakland was down by multiple scores.

Yet, this season�s approach will be different.

"We want to play fast," Carr said. "We want to put pressure on the defense. We want to go 100 miles per hour and cause confusion for the defense. It can be a lot of fun."

Carr said the biggest challenge in minicamps and training camps will be working up the conditioning level of the entire offense. He said there will be games when the Raiders will run 20-40 more offensive plays than a normal offense. He said it will be a challenge for "the big guys."

"What we want to do is be able to be conditioned so we can take advantage in the fourth quarter," Carr said. "That�s what our goal was in college, and it worked really well for us. When the game is on the line, we want to be the team that is being able to run and controlling the game by pushing the tempo."

Carr also said he thinks the presence of the no-huddle will make him a better run threat. He said defenses could be off balance and unprepared for him to run. Carr had 92 rushing yards on 29 carries as a rookie. He said, depending on the game situation, he could run up to eight times in a game by using the no-huddle.

Carr is looking forward to getting the plan implemented in meeting rooms and on the practice field. He also plans to organize his own session with the offense during a dead time to get more acclimated to the new approach.

"We�re not going to be all no-huddle, but it is going to be a big part of what we do," he said. "And I�m really excited with the coaches plans."