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Totally awesome. And this seriously would make a great film.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:03
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| # ? May 26, 2024 05:49 |
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Your story is awesome. Spiders and feces and sax's, oh my! Seriously though, that :scax: smiley needs to be added to these forums immediately.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:04
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I swear, I'll never complain about my horrible roommate on the internet ever again. You're a hero, voted 5.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:05
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This is by far the most incredible thing I've ever read on the internet. I can't possibly muster up the words to describe my feelings for this whole thread, so I'll just let my voting do the talking.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:06
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Many cities have publicly available police logs. You should dig these up - I'd love to see how these calls were logged.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:08
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You could have gotten him kicked out simply by telling your landlord that he was selling drugs out of the apartment. Never mind poo poo in the oven. Seriously, why would any sane person put up with this? Did you think you had something to prove?
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Nov 29, 2004 02:08
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How the gently caress did Jed get a girlfriend? :mad: On a more positive note, that was the best story I've ever read. Hands down. I'd say it was even better than the pant making GBS threads megathread, which is drat hard to beat. :) Definite 5.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:10
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quote:Martin Random came out of the sealed closet to say:
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Nov 29, 2004 02:10
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quote:Martin Random came out of the closet to say:
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Nov 29, 2004 02:11
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That's loving insane. best story I've read in a long time. Wow, just wow.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:11
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quote:sigtrap came out of the closet to say: I actually have the blotter somewhere, I saved it. The call to the police was pretty together. I think my summation to the police dispatcher went something like, "My room mate had an accident and he is trapped inside his apartment covered in feces and has injuries to his head. He is psychotic and might harm himself." ----------------
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Nov 29, 2004 02:17
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Dude WTF did the cops say when they got there?! What did his parents say about the whole thing? Do you have any idea what the cleaning costs were?
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Nov 29, 2004 02:18
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I'm shocked that he didn't kill himself from the mould, really. That poo poo is toxic.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:19
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This is the best thread ever. How old were you at the time?
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Nov 29, 2004 02:19
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Give us more background on Jeb. Did he just come across as a free spirited party animal when you first met him? What kind of music did he listen to? What does he look like?
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Nov 29, 2004 02:20
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quote:Shawnatrip came out of the closet to say: The cleaning costs were somewhere around twenty five thousand dollars. I know I scored around 8 thousand dollars after it was all said and done. I don't know what the police said, and his parents refused to speak to me except through lawyers. I know they called some special unit or something with moonsuits to extract Jeb from his shithole, but I didn't stick around much after that before going to the hospital. I drove myself. ----------------
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Nov 29, 2004 02:20
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quote:Martin Random came out of the closet to say: You don't happen to live in San Luis Obispo, CA do you? This sounds an awful lot like what I imagine must have happened to a (crazy crazy crazy) guy I used to know... who's named Jed. Hopefully you'll say 'no.'
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Nov 29, 2004 02:21
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Absolutely incredible story. Congrats on coming out on top - few would have had the willpower.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:22
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quote:Dislodge came out of the closet to say: This would be a crazy and exciting plot twist.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:24
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this is the best story ever written. thank you very much for sharing it.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:24
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quote:Clownhunter came out of the closet to say: Jeb was the dyslexic slightly medicated son of wealthy, distant parentage. He had trouble in school and wasn't very smart, and had a little bit of trouble dealing with things on a rational level since I first met him; I think this was due to the fact that he's been medicated since high school. He was white as can be, with blond hair, and very skinny. I am only 6 feet tall and 150 pounds (I get a lot of aerobic exercise so it's difficult to maintain bulk) and he was smaller than I am. I could easily overpower him. He dropped out of high school because of his dyslexia, got a GED, and finally attended a two year college at the time of the incident. He worked at longs drugs as a stock boy despite the fact that he didn't need the money, and made most of his friends through his job. I don't know if you know this, but longs drugs employees are some heavy drinkers and heavy partiers. He had trouble with drugs, and while I knew him went from completely clean to having a problem with alcohol to going as far as snorting cocaine off of our television set once during a party. He was a pretty decent, but troubled guy before he went apeshit crazy. I, in contrast, am a very clean, humorless fellow who never drinks, parties, or watches TV. Some would call me "obnoxiously uptight" but I break that mold by being extremely easygoing and laid back about everything. So I'm very uptight with myself without being uptight with others, if that makes sense. I'm the ultimate stoic. Also I was just reminiscing with a friend who reminded me that I was screaming at the apartment afterwards calling him a "Shitbathing nazi" ----------------
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Nov 29, 2004 02:28
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quote:The_Franz came out of the closet to say: You hope. I hope. Oh, god, we all hope. Great story. I believe it. ----------------
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Nov 29, 2004 02:29
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quote:Martin Random came out of the closet to say: This reads like the concept of a sitcom. It could be a sitcom. But with a bathful of poo poo.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:32
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Best post ever.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:34
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Yeah, way to ignore what I said. You seem to have very serious emotional problems, describing your room as the "fortress of light" and making all these analogies to FPS games like you're some kind of superhero. I think either this is all a lie, or you have so little of a life that you put up with this poo poo just so you could make yourself feel like a hero. In any case, this is all pathetic and could have been resolved long before your "apartment raid" with a simple call to the landlord or the police. If this is true, the fact that you didn't do anything about the situation made it infinitely worse. I think we can all learn a lesson from that.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:35
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quote:kotau came out of the closet to say: I agree, what I did was absolutely the worst response to the situation. If you think about it, this poor guy had a serious problem, and I was the only one who could help him, and I chose not to. I am in no way a hero in this situation. It is only the most capricious, fateful of windfalls that neither of us are dead, and I ended up enriched in the end. ----------------
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Nov 29, 2004 02:37
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quote:Martin Random came out of the closet to say:
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Nov 29, 2004 02:39
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quote:Dislodge came out of the closet to say: Well, there is a Longs Drug in San Luis Obispo.. http://yp.yahoo.com/py/ypResults.py...1qtoZq_sbjA.w-- But I don't know how common those things are. quote:dorkfish came out of the closet to say:
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Nov 29, 2004 02:40
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I must express my surprise that the poo poo odor didn't break through your door sealant. Did you actually caulk up the doorway, or did you do the tried-and-true, good-enough-for-the-government duct tape and saran wrap method? Also, this may be the best thread ever. ----------------
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Nov 29, 2004 02:40
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quote:kotau came out of the closet to say:
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Nov 29, 2004 02:40
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quote:kotau came out of the closet to say: I go over this rationale earlier in the thread. Really, it was so long ago I find it hard to remember just why I did what I did, the way I did it. Partly I left things as they were because I was mad, and I wanted to prove that he would really gently caress things up if I wasn't there to clean his poo poo up. Partly, I didn't really care what he did, because if he hosed stuff up it was his rear end on the line. Partly, I was sort of curious, in that manner of a distant bystander, just how awful things would get before the forces around us intervened. Finally, I wanted to see how long I could get by witholding rent in a righteous indignation. Really, I let it go on for the most petty, inexcusable reasons imaginable. ----------------
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Nov 29, 2004 02:42
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[ignore this]
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Nov 29, 2004 02:43
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thank you for making work interesting today awesome story, voted 5
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Nov 29, 2004 02:43
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quote:Martin Random came out of the closet to say: Anyway I'm not trying to start an argument. I'm just hoping that everyone sees that this is exactly what should not be done in this situation.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:46
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quote:Martin Random came out of the closet to say: Indeed! Awesome story.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:49
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I can believe this story because the person who lived in my old apartment was very much like this, though not to Jeb's extent. Wealthy mostly uninvolved parents, a drug problem... but throw in a dog with a house training problem and a loving baby. No total psychotic breakdowns, but the paramedics busted the door down a few times. When her family couldn't get in touch with her they would have them go over there, and she would inevitably be absent/stoned/whatever and not answer, and her family would give them permission to bust the door down, fearing for their daughter/granddaughter's safety (though obviously not too much). This is how I came to be aware of this story, as I asked the guy at the office what the deal with out door was. I later hear more of it from various neighbors. Oh, also, we had to wait to move in for two weeks because she didn't move her stuff out and the apartment people were waiting til the last possible minute to move it to give her a chance to come get it, which she didn't do anyway. They had to basically redo the interior of the apartment once they got her poo poo out of there, also- new paint, carpet, new toilet parts, new oven parts, the works. FZl1f6wN5SnzjVSLCKg5WKpFGeudsWFi
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Nov 29, 2004 02:51
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quote:kotau came out of the closet to say: Thanks, mom. Seriously what the gently caress do you care? Shut up and let him give us more epilogue details. This is a great thread because he did not do what you think is the correct plan of action.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:53
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I'm interested as to he got that much poo poo in the bathtub without it drying out over time (assuming he constantly shat in the bathtub as opposed to merely pouring the poo poo he collected in jars into the tub). Maybe he poured a steady supply of urine in it from the jugs to keep the fecal matter moist.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:56
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Great post. Jed sounds a lot like the roommate in that poopsocks story from way back.
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Nov 29, 2004 02:58
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Is on the way to getting up the energy to consider MSPainting the whole ordeal. I'm going to call BS, but even if it is, this thread is made out of gold that is, in fact, more gold than gold
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Nov 29, 2004 02:59
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