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Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





MasterSitsu posted:

Remember the Ashley Madison dump?

http://www.rollcall.com/heard-on-the-hill/team-cruz-capitol-police-pop-up-in-ashley-madison-data-dump/


"Among those purportedly seeking relations away from their spouses are emails associated with:

The office of GOP presidential hopeful Ted Cruz, R-Texas.
The Capitol Police.
Seven folks with ties to House offices.
Nearly four dozen people who punch timecards at the White House.
Sans a deep dive into the dark web to parse the full batch of raw data released for public scrutiny, HOH has no sure way of knowing which of our friends, neighbors and/or colleagues were looking to get their freak on away from prying eyes.
A Cruz aide assured HOH that nary a soul in that office is surreptitiously on the prowl."



Oh this is getting good already. Hopefully some of the prostitutes come out and admit the affair when they are offered enough money. Reminds me of Tiger Woods the way it's unfolding.

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Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!

naem posted:

How does a guy with five mistresses and a wife driven insane by it, publicly, try to run for president
It's just crazy enough to work!

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
Elliot Rodgers must be crying in his grave.

Hobo Pyro
Oct 17, 2010
how do i get him to sext me :ohdear:

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot

Hobo Pyro posted:

how do i get him to sext me :ohdear:

send him risque picks of your goblin character from world of warcraft.

SilkyP
Jul 21, 2004

The Boo-Box

Guess it's Trump. Wait it was going to be Trump anyway

Hobo Pyro
Oct 17, 2010

Microwaves Mom posted:

send him risque picks of your goblin character from world of warcraft.

WORKIN ON IT

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
imagine if you will the face of ted cruz hovering over you, clammy dadchest pressed up against your breasts, making atypical facial expressions with each thrust (none of which ever make it to his eyes), as a white tonsil stone passes back and forth between his upper and lower lips like a foul bacterial volleyball with every gaping fishmouth breath he takes

now attach a pricetag to this experience

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

whoflungpoop posted:

imagine if you will the face of ted cruz hovering over you, clammy dadchest pressed up against your breasts, making atypical facial expressions with each thrust (none of which ever make it to his eyes), as a white tonsil stone passes back and forth between his upper and lower lips like a foul bacterial volleyball with every gaping fishmouth breath he takes

now attach a pricetag to this experience

:10bux:

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
just checking in here to say that Ted Cruz prob enjoys making bowel movements on women, just as i always suspected hes up to some true creep poo poo. fuckin mos eisley cantina faced sleazy bag of flaming dogshit



trump trying to spin him into the wall is some good poo poo tho, gently caress em - even tho ur cheering on the 21st century american oswald mosley







Mariana Horchata fucked around with this message at 01:15 on Mar 26, 2016

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9QEAtcz3o8 [video]


Wait. I got this.

Zeluth fucked around with this message at 01:18 on Mar 26, 2016

TheWeepingHorse
Nov 20, 2009

Cruz strikes me as being more of a pompous rear end than a bodily-fluids-gross kinda guy.

Rush Limbaugh, now there's a guy who must be some kind of fart fetishist.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
even his looks and physical features attract more negative attention than trumps which is also kind of amazing

Mariana Horchata fucked around with this message at 01:43 on Mar 26, 2016

Teriyaki Koinku
Nov 25, 2008

Bread! Bread! Bread!

Bread! BREAD! BREAD!

He looked like a pompous rear end in a top hat fucktard even as a kid.

GG America no re.

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
It's a shame media outlets don't have the full footage of Cruz in college talking about world domination, just before that he was talking about his goals of crushing all the puss

Idiot Kicker
Jun 13, 2007
Cruz has never had a jawline

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
I'm a little surprised because The Zodiac Killer placed much lower emphasis on sexual perversion than your typical serial killer, and Ted Cruz is the serial killer known as The Zodiac.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

loquacius posted:

Eh the Republicans have been trying to soil her since 1991 and it's never worked

Benghazi etc etc

It's worked pretty well actually as she has one of the lowest public approval ratings of any candidate and is absolutely loathed by many

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.

Mange Mite posted:

It's worked pretty well actually as she has one of the lowest public approval ratings of any candidate and is absolutely loathed by many

Hillarys a strong independent woman and she doesn't need a republican's help to make her unlikable

Ferdinand Bardamu
Apr 30, 2013
She's dead in 6 months Toadvine. : (

Idiot Kicker
Jun 13, 2007
I have never sexed a white lady. a half white lady, yes though

El_Elegante
Jul 3, 2004

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Biscuit Hider

Idiot Kicker posted:

I have never sexed a white lady. a half white lady, yes though

go home Jon Pop

DickParasite
Dec 2, 2004


Slippery Tilde

El_Elegante posted:

go home Jon Pop

LIES! JP always admits to being a virgin in his first post

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home

Germstore posted:

It's the Hero of Kvatch!

disturbingly accurate

The Brown Menace
Dec 24, 2010

Now comes in all colors.


glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
maybe his wife just isn't good in the goldman sach

the great deceiver
Sep 23, 2003

why the feds worried bout me clockin on this corner/
when there's politicians out here gettin popped in arizona
imagine ted cruz's moist balls rhythmically slapping back and forth

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
tbh this scandal is the first time that I've ever thought of Ted Cruz as an actual human instead of some crazy tea party kill bot

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

the great deceiver posted:

imagine ted cruz's moist balls rhythmically slapping back and forth

SurfaceDetail
Feb 17, 2016

by Cowcaster
John Edwards and Bill Clinton only hosed average-ugly chicks. Cruz crushing premium tier tail. Republicans just do it right.

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.

SurfaceDetail posted:

John Edwards and Bill Clinton only hosed average-ugly chicks. Cruz crushing premium tier tail. Republicans just do it right.

Haha have higher standards dork

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 22 minutes!

Mange Mite posted:

It's worked pretty well actually as she has one of the lowest public approval ratings of any candidate and is absolutely loathed by many

lol "one of the lowest"

someone remind me who the one with lower approval ratings and higher negatives is because I just can't for the life of me remember

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
If you was a rich fat dude in a loveless marriage wouldn't you bang a bunch of whores as well

cram me sideways
Apr 26, 2015
lmao why not just jack off

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Toadvine posted:

Haha have higher standards dork

:goonsay:

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
Aw poo poo I got goonsay got

8-Bit Scholar
Jan 23, 2016

by FactsAreUseless

loquacius posted:

lol "one of the lowest"

someone remind me who the one with lower approval ratings and higher negatives is because I just can't for the life of me remember

Obama at least had the young vote AND a lot of mainstream democrats and plenty of idependents. Hillary has no momentum. She'll get elected by inertia, probably, but there's on wellspring behind her.

T.S. Smelliot
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Really surprised it wasn't rent boys

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Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

8-Bit Scholar posted:

She'll get elected by inertia, probably,

Actually the word is "money", she'll get elected by money.

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