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There's always this hype about new year parties. All the sitcoms make shows about it a week before, just like all the other holidays, at least the christian and jewish ones. I just never understood it. I guess I never had much fun at partiess. I mean, I had fun, but not the kind of fun everyone makes it out to be, like, nothing big or important happens at these parties. There was no When Harry met Sally moment of finding a girl I loved and using seducing words to finally break her will, so she'll fall softly into my comedic and graceful arms. None of that poo poo. So, you can imagine what kind of mental state I was in when my friend Ben invites me to his New Years party. "There's gonna be lots of girls, Hakan, lots of girls," Ben says. "That's great, there's gonna be lots of guys too." "I'm flying in my own girl from California, from USC! Man she's hot. She's like, well, have you seen the asian chics at E3? The one near the Megaman stand?" he asks me. "No, Ben." "It's gonna be great. You've GOT to come." And halfway through my bottle of bean, I admit, I'm having fun. I'm drunk, first of all, and there's a lot more people at the party I know than I thought I would. Let me stop here for a moment and describe Ben's apartment. Now, for those of you who simply wish to skip ahead and get to the meat of the story, feel free to, because this part is of little or no consequence. But for those who want a little atmosphere and those who want to understand the situation, and the world I'm seeing through my eyes, then I suggest you continue reading. The Christmas tree took up most of the living room, and I hate to sound so sensitive, but it was beautiful. Christmas had past, yes, and it was getting a little dry, but the lights and ornaments were very profressional and movie-like. And when you stared at the lights there was that soft glow like there were hundreds of thin needles sticking out of each bulb, and they could never quite stand still enough. The carpet was white and the kitchen was crowded. The x-box was playing techno songs from DDR, anime, and other various crowd moving rythyms, but the music was not a source of interest to the party (it was too quiet). And then, as I stood near the center of the room and held my sweaty plastic cup, I looked down the dark hallway and saw a beautiful emerge from the bathroom, looking ever so graceful and relieved. Men, I did not endorse or believe in love at first sight in my younger years, and in my later I thought it was merely lust, but that night, I tell you, that night I came as close as I think man has to loving someone without a previous acquaintance. She graced me, ignored me, as she moved into the crowded kitchen, too crowded and undeserving for her. Too cold and uncaring the people she had to touch and smile at to get to move, so she could make her way to her bottle of Gin. Oh Gin what a terrible drink, how many nights have you disrupted my belly, and caused embarrassment on my part and the parts of those witnissing my action of vomit. I had to warn her, because maybe she was not very good at drinking. Or maybe she was too good, I don't know which I would like more or worse, but it was a reason to approach. Let me skip ahead of some minor details, fellow readers, for I am sure you wish the story to be gotten on with, as the medium of forum post does not make pleasant the prolonged encounters with the art of word play. *Ahem* We were in the bathroom, on the toilet, kissing and fondling each other fondly. Her brown hair kept falling at our faces, so soft and flower smelling, and the way she ran her long and boney fingers across my head, stopping at the back to twirl my hair, made me engrossed in my manness. Flushed and nervous, I moved my hands up and down her back, finding my way to the top to pull down her shirt. She gave no resistance, and down her top came. I fell back to revel in the moment, staring and calculating. Her shoulders were red and narrow, like a girls. And her breasts were bulging from her bra, begging me to be freed. "Have at you!" I screamed as I dug my head between them, shaking my head side to side and growling like a dog. She arched backwards and let her hair fall back as she moaned, oh how I loved her voice and longed for her lips again. Perhaps I have been too descriptive of her, neglecting the important details, such as her name, Celine, and the color of her panties, red, and the smell of her panties, fresh and non pugnant, and the cut and color and texture of her pubic hair, mohawk, light brown, and soft, respectively. What a cherry it was, my fellow readers, your humble narrator felt the need, more than once, to be lacking of goggles which would shield me from the various juices and moistures that accompany a man in his visits to the delicious regions of the female body. Drip, drip, drip. I thought to myself, now I know what a male cheerleader feels like as he holds his female above his head and looks up to catch a quick look at the tight, youthful personal area of his female counterpart. Drip, drip, drip it goes. Goggles needed. A must. After we had both exhausted ourselves, many times apiece, we lay there, in the bathtub, still nude and I still eager. I held her close, so close and tight, I thought if I should let go she would fall from a great height. It was then that we spoke earnestly, for after two bodies exchange their secrets, there is a sense of openess, for being naked together is the greatest intimacy, and should be reserved for only two people of sincere emotion. I had to ask her if it was lust she saw in me, or the sudden evokation of great and deep emotion as my case was. "How do you feel about me holding you?" I asked. "I think I should like it," she replied. "Do you want me to let you go?" I asked. "No," she muttered, half drowsy. "What if I held you like this, here, until the morning?" I felt her weight shift as she tried to turn her head to face mine. "All night?" "Yes," I said. "What if I get hungry? Or have to use the bathroom?" she asked. I breathed heavy, and she rose and fell on me with my chest. "I should not let you go no matter the reason." She whimpered and kissed my nose. "Don't be silly." "Would you think I was silly if I said I liked you?" I asked. "No, I like you too, obviously," she said. "What if I really liked you?" I asked, but she did not reply, perhaps starting to doze off. "What if I thought I even loved you?" No answer again. The bathroom door started jerking and we both turned quickly to see if it was locked. It had been, at one point during our encounter, but then I forgot that the cat was scratching just an hour ago, under the door, and we let him in and out after he used the litter box. But in our haste and passion, we forgot to lock the door for a second time, and in comes in my good friend Benjamin. He just looks at us, blank faced and glossy, with a sad, far away look in his eyes as if a great underlying trouble had been clawing its way in him for many years (I would find out later his lady friend from USC had no interest in him more than an acquaintance). "What are you doing?" Ben asked us. "What does it look like?" I said. "Do you know how disgusting that is?" Ben asked us. "What are you talking about?" He pointed, and all three of us looked down at what he was pointing at, towards our crotches. "How can you stand to lie down in that?!?!" he screamed. Our legs, hers and mine, were covered in a thin black film, with chunks of black and dark matter of various colors and consistencies laying at the base of the tub. It's source: her anal canal. In our drunkeness and passion filled encounter, we forgoed our other urges of the body, and like hunger and sleep, it must come. And come it did. The stench was now in full force, and as she got up she shitted on me some more. The events afterward are somewhat fuzzy, being drunk and enraged. She was deathly embarrassed, and I was deathly angered. What a sad day it must be for love to be diminished at the sight of our own body's natural responses. It was not true love, though, and perhaps it is better that way, because in my heart, I doubt ours would have survived that test of time and acceptance.
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Jan 4, 2002 06:40
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 12:57 |
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Cool!
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Jan 4, 2002 06:47
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! Nicely written, btw. Kudos to your engrish teacher.
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Jan 4, 2002 06:49
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bravo bravo!! I am at a loss of words, best.story.ever
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Jan 4, 2002 06:49
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This reminded me of A Clockwork Orange, for some reason.
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Jan 4, 2002 06:49
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Just when you thought one Hakan story could not be any better, he comes out with a chart topper. Great work.
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Jan 4, 2002 06:52
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God(aka Hakan) I cannot express my love for thee. Millions of people could praise you for eternity, and it would still be a speck of sand on the beach of praise that should be installed in your sight.
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Jan 4, 2002 06:53
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If there were pages to be turned, this would be a page turner. Great story.
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Jan 4, 2002 06:54
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Hahahaha I love how your stories are really lovely and 'normal', and then right at the end they get seriously hosed up <3 Hakan
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Jan 4, 2002 06:55
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A work of fiction, I know, but it was quite similar to my New Year's story. Only mine involved my own barf, a hardwood floor, and no sex (to my knowledge).
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Jan 4, 2002 06:57
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{{{ Hakan }}} I love your 'stories' 
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Jan 4, 2002 06:58
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quote:Foaming Chicken came out of the closet to say: It was the goggles paragraph. ----------------
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Jan 4, 2002 07:02
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That moved me in ways that i have been moved before, but bravo. Shoulda asked her if shes into scat
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Jan 4, 2002 07:04
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Hakan saves the day again!
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Jan 4, 2002 07:06
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I had the privelidge of spooning with a nice young lady ... we spent the night in each other's arms and it was in the midst of a large group of people in a hotel room. The others were forced to sleep on the floor whilst we touched and copulated. Yes ... I win. And we somehow kept from spreading excrement ... spectacular time for all.
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Jan 4, 2002 07:08
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That was the most inspiring story I've ever read. <3
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Jan 4, 2002 07:09
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Fiction? Naught but lies. ALL PRAISE HAKAN!
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Jan 4, 2002 07:09
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This was a great story. Did you poo poo on her? ----------------
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Jan 4, 2002 07:09
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That story was amazing. A true epic tale of love and loss. AND POO. Great story. :)
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Jan 4, 2002 07:15
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Wow, so hosed up, yet so graceful.
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Jan 4, 2002 07:18
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GREAT STORY ! wowwy wow wow.
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Jan 4, 2002 07:26
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That twist at the end made me giggle uncontrolably.
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Jan 4, 2002 07:36
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Hakan is the bastard love goblin of Ernest Hemmingway and John Waters. I am in your service forever. g0g0
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Jan 4, 2002 07:46
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I was so into it, it was so well written, it was the right blend of humor and passion, and then... ...the fecal moment...
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Jan 4, 2002 08:09
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WHAT?! I laughed with confusion. She SHAT on you?. dude, thats loving WRONG.
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Jan 4, 2002 08:13
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Greatest Surprise ending. I am a fan.
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Jan 4, 2002 08:13
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Excellent story. I love you Hakan.(Not Gay)
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Jan 4, 2002 08:22
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I was onto you... but alas... i expected a question of her gender, the fesces was a surprise. Well done.
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Jan 4, 2002 08:24
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Nice, but not quite up to Hakan classic level. The chick should have dry heaved up a condom at the sight of all the excrement.
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Jan 4, 2002 08:25
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Great story ! And for me [img-tubgirl] now has a name...
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Jan 4, 2002 08:28
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Bravo, bravo! A very entertaining read.
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Jan 4, 2002 09:09
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quote:
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Jan 4, 2002 23:51
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I love your posts Hakan. you really ought to archive them for our continued enjoyment.
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Jan 5, 2002 00:03
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Superb, but I still hold a place in my heart for the one about the fraternity intiation.
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Jan 5, 2002 00:13
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I really expected the poo poo to come from the drowning bulldog puppies, but other than that, top-notch work, Hakan old chap, top-notch.
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Jan 5, 2002 00:31
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this is the first long post that I have read completly. that alone is a feat. good job. come goon con let me remember to never shake your hand.
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Jan 5, 2002 00:37
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You know, I'm sure some high level executive would have paid top dollar off the company account to fly to japan and have an experience like that. Other then that, Great storie! Do you think it was her inability to hold the booze that led to the loosening of the bowels?
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Jan 5, 2002 00:37
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Hakan's like jesus, but with more semen and human wastes.
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Jan 5, 2002 00:54
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Funniest thing I have read in a long time. You are a genius of teh comedy.
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Jan 5, 2002 01:01
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 12:57 |
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i'm moved.
eet fuk.
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Jan 5, 2002 01:04
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