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Dear members of SomethingAwful.com community,

This is Shjaolin's father. Firstly, I apologize for my son interrupting your thread. Let me tell you that he meant well, and did not want to bring any of this down upon himself. Secondly, this was my idea (him joining EVE, with the guidance of a community that is well trusted and respected by our household). Thirdly, things went wrong and I am sorry for this. Since I retired he has not been the same, and I wanted him to feel included in something. Space and exploration are important to him. And this was something I hoped he could do well in.

You see, my son suffers from Asperger's disease. He has some rare talents but also some social problems, as you can see. If you must deny him, please be kind in doing so. It is all I ask. Thank you for reading this.

Sincerely,

Thomas H. Fourthly


Edit:

Dear Community,

This is Shjaolin's father. My son is typing for me as I instruct him what to type. He edits my instructions as he pleases, however. I want to make this clear in case someone, as posted below, thinks I am using my sons account in any way, shape, form, or manner. He alone knows the password and butts the buttons. He alone is the master of what is said (typed) or not said (typed). He alone.

Sincerely,

Thomas H. Fourthly


Jackson Fivepolyps

Murder My Gauls

here's a link to my new twitter that i'll probably forget about http://twitter.com/JacksonPolyp

ADBOT LOVES YOU
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my son is A COOL> GUY TOTTLY



207-563-5532



butts


marty bee
Gumpas

DON't mess with hitmans.

shjaoilin shadowboxing, and the woops mang poststyle...


FELLOW GOONS: WHEN THIS POSTER OFFERS TO BRAID YOUR PUBES, SAY NO!!!
Whoa. Wife Turds


chickennoodle35 (2 hours ago) Show Hide

hey look in a miror

your not black

rear end



weird bleep


Hi I'm Bleep! Save Knut. Cat vs. Dog ???? Check out my cool vids!
Check out Drew Curtis' FARK.com! It's not news, it's FARK.
Reymixx14. LimpMixbit. This sig is shaping up to be a monster.

TACO (from the 80s) posted:

butts

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

pray the rosary dawgs

Vice Zoomler Aestro
This is Shjaolins father again,

My son is currently typing. I am telling him what to type. He is the only person who has access to this terminal pod. He alone knows his own password. At no time have I ever typed, shared, sat, or passworded.

Sincerely,

Thomas H. Fourthly



Lil Nublet
Apology accepted.


by Lowtax

Meursault Horny
i try to post in a forum with my son and you send me goatass. you monster.


The State was not formed in progressive stages; it appears fully armed, a master stroke executed all at once; the primordial Urstaat, the eternal model of everything the State wants to be and desires; the basic formation, on the horizon throughout history.
Butt Cord
Dear internet,

please take pity on my kid since nobody else will.

thanks
Thomas H. Fourthly


im so mumped up lmao
Bang Me Please
Furthermore,



Whilst farting I


thx for avatar awkward paws!!!

Vice Zoomler Aestro posted:


banned for buttposting


Jackson Fivepolyps

Murder My Gauls

here's a link to my new twitter that i'll probably forget about http://twitter.com/JacksonPolyp


rubber cat


lol


...whatever
SexyGamerGuy

Chainring posted:

shjaoilin shadowboxing, and the woops mang poststyle...

if what you say is true, the shjaoilin and the woops mang could be dangerous.


The Go-To Guy for Kitten Pics
"Robert"
Dear FYAD:

Are you gay? My son is gay and he wants to find someone to share his life with. If you are a gay teen and you think you have what it takes, mail a self addressed stamped envelope to Fourthly Enterprises, ATTN: My Son Is Gay Contest, PO Box 8024, Sarasota, FL 39152.

Please note that I am not gay, and I am not pressing the buttons to type this. My dog types because I trained him, and my son speaks to the dog who types it. My dog is not gay but my son is.

Sincerely,

Thomas H. Fourthly


by Danny Manic

squishyfish

Chainring posted:

shjaoilin shadowboxing, and the woops mang poststyle...

lolll


DOS, dank, n drank

CaptainWinky

quote:

I was living with my parents at the time (lol I know), and one day I rolled upstairs from the basement (lol I know) without a shirt. Went to the fridge, opened it, shouted IT HUNGERS then jugged from a jug of milk. Belched. Turned around to see that the living room was full of people with my mother, staring at me. Mom was hosting a prayer group.

I am not a spy, I am a human being.

My reg date is 9/11/01 because my dad is a firefighter. Maybe I do not live in "New York" but when those firefighters did what they did to save those people trapped in the pentagon, they deserve all of us to show our consideration by changing our reg dates to 9/11/01. That is the least they deserve. If people want to take it farther and reward our *true* heros more, they can donate directly to SA.com in any amount they want. I am not ashamed of any of my actions. My real reg date is fall of 2005.

I think the above paragraph speaks for the rest of your *blatant* accusations.

Ready to launch!

*Attempts again to get "authorized"*


rubber cat


"Robert" posted:

if what you say is true, the shjaoilin and the woops mang could be dangerous.

i take a post, let it sit on the stove for like a half hour... put that fire on your forum slow-like tssssssssssssssssssssssssss


FELLOW GOONS: WHEN THIS POSTER OFFERS TO BRAID YOUR PUBES, SAY NO!!!
Whoa. Wife Turds


chickennoodle35 (2 hours ago) Show Hide

hey look in a miror

your not black

him joining EVE, with the guidance of a community that is well trusted and respected by our household


Mr. Babies


Chose the forums and you will join me. Choose the ball and you will join your mother in death. You dont understand my words, but you must choose.


by Lowtax

Meursault Horny
Dear Something Forums,

My son is a goatface, do not listen to him and his stupid anything! He has been typing this out for me now he is crying because he is a stupid son I wish i never had my stupid son. He plays the EVE space games because he is being beat up at school, who can blame them?? I would do it but I call bullies instead for me he he he.

Give my son a reason to finally kill himself like a dumb goatface kid. "Bleat bleat give me some food and a PC computer" shut up you freakin' goat.

Sincerley,

Thomas H. Fourthly

Lord Of Farts
Days Go Bi

there abolutely no proof Chris Benoit wore a bra...if one was found it was planted by the Police...!

I registered fall of 2006, not 2005. My mistake. (Thought I'd point that out before someone caught it). My official web page was set to http://www.eve-online.com long before I posted in this thread. I set it for the hell of it after reading a eve related few post a bit back. Also, much to your satisfaction, I've attempted to get authorized before...the first time I "heard the fuss" concerning Eve that people were making both at SA.com and on other internet forums. That authorization attempt resulted in failure.

Since my father retired a few years ago my life has seemed like a failure, to be frank with you. I wish I could go back and do things over again. School, work, all of it. But I can't.

"And I, being a poor man, lay my dreams before you. Tread lightly, because you tread on my dreams. I value them greatly...for they are all I have."

-First uttered by Bruce, the Gun-Cleric.

I hope I have proven my point.


DOS, dank, n drank

CaptainWinky

quote:

I was living with my parents at the time (lol I know), and one day I rolled upstairs from the basement (lol I know) without a shirt. Went to the fridge, opened it, shouted IT HUNGERS then jugged from a jug of milk. Belched. Turned around to see that the living room was full of people with my mother, staring at me. Mom was hosting a prayer group.

Chainring posted:

shjaoilin shadowboxing, and the woops mang poststyle...

da history of fakeposting

Lord Of Farts
Days Go Bi

there abolutely no proof Chris Benoit wore a bra...if one was found it was planted by the Police...!

Chainring posted:

shjaoilin shadowboxing, and the woops mang poststyle...


What is all of this madness happening with our solar system
EdRush


recent research show it's not so darn harmful

Dear Community,

I eat farts all the time. This is me talking not my son hes not changing anything lol. I'm also gay.

Sincerely,

Thermus "Gaywad" Loser


Wet butt is cool dude man, check him on tumblr @ tlgrmsiam - Marc Bolan at a rap concert
WET BUTT
Sponsor me or Christ-be-Damned, I don't know. Clearly, we are a jovial band of brothers. Lets not be offended for a word. I need to rest. Watch a trailer or get something to eat. Thanks for the input.


DOS, dank, n drank

CaptainWinky

quote:

I was living with my parents at the time (lol I know), and one day I rolled upstairs from the basement (lol I know) without a shirt. Went to the fridge, opened it, shouted IT HUNGERS then jugged from a jug of milk. Belched. Turned around to see that the living room was full of people with my mother, staring at me. Mom was hosting a prayer group.

i'm gonna add him to my buddylist

http://forums.somethingawful.com/me...o&userid=102529


DOS, dank, n drank

CaptainWinky

quote:

I was living with my parents at the time (lol I know), and one day I rolled upstairs from the basement (lol I know) without a shirt. Went to the fridge, opened it, shouted IT HUNGERS then jugged from a jug of milk. Belched. Turned around to see that the living room was full of people with my mother, staring at me. Mom was hosting a prayer group.

CaptainWinky posted:

i'm gonna add him to my buddylist

http://forums.somethingawful.com/me...o&userid=102529

Tall dark and Physics


by Lowtax

Meursault Horny

CaptainWinky posted:

i'm gonna add him to my buddylist

http://forums.somethingawful.com/me...o&userid=102529

i shall raise him as one of my own



Karnivore
"And I, being a poor man, lay my dreams before you. Tread lightly, because you tread on my dreams. I value them greatly...for they are all I have."

-First uttered by Bruce, the Gun-Cleric.



Boofy


thanks to dendy, for good sig

Yarr, this lad be havin' a case of ye 'Pergers.



Karnivore
Here is what I had first. It was confusing so I removed it. To be fair I will post it if you do not hold it against me. I talk. To myself. Sometimes.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$


quote:

Shjaolin posted:
I registered fall of 2006, not 2005. My mistake. (Thought I'd point that out before someone caught it).


You posted that at Mar 04, 2007 20:39.

Space Gopher posted the following at Mar 04, 2007 20:29, ten minutes BEFORE your "confession."

quote:

Space Gopher posted:
won't comment on the "spy" thing, but:
Your user ID is 102529.
Users 102528 and 102520 both registered on September 1st, 2006.
Since regdates are issued sequentially, this strongly suggests that your regdate is in fact fall of 2006.


I think you are busted, to be loving honest.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

---
The Brave my die but once in a blue moon, but the cowardly live again in the terror of their dreams.



Boofy


thanks to dendy, for good sig

nancy farmer posted:

Dear Something Forums,

My son is a goatface, do not listen to him and his stupid anything! He has been typing this out for me now he is crying because he is a stupid son I wish i never had my stupid son. He plays the EVE space games because he is being beat up at school, who can blame them?? I would do it but I call bullies instead for me he he he.

Give my son a reason to finally kill himself like a dumb goatface kid. "Bleat bleat give me some food and a PC computer" shut up you freakin' goat.

Sincerley,

Thomas H. Fourthly
lmfao


Jackson Fivepolyps

Murder My Gauls

here's a link to my new twitter that i'll probably forget about http://twitter.com/JacksonPolyp

what


Shjaolin

Shjaolin posted:

what

lol what up retard


by Lowtax

Meursault Horny

Shjaolin posted:

what

Thomas H. Fourthly is a cool dude


by Lowtax

Tad Mincey

Shjaolin posted:

what

i need your help designing several products which exciting to bring ot market



schmitty9800

Shut up with your personal attacks. In every loving thread you post unnecessary personal attacks.

holy poo poo lol


Dear Mr. Fourthly,

My name is Mr.Moses Odiaka.I work in the credit and accounts department of
Union Bank of NigeriaPlc,Lagos, Nigeria. I write you in respect of a
foreign customer with a Domicilliary account. His name is Engineer Manfred
Becker. He was among those who died in a plane crash here in Nigeria
during the reign of late General Sani Abacha.

Since the demise of this our customer, Engineer Manfred Becker, who was an
oil merchant/contractor, I have kept a close watch of the deposit records
and accounts and since then nobody has come to claim the money in this a/c
as next of kin to the late Engineer. He had only $18.5mllion in his a/c
and the a/c is coded. It is only an insider that could produce the code or
password of the deposit particulars. As it stands now,there is nobody in
that position to produce the needed information other than my very self
considering my position in the bank.

Based on the reason that nobody has come forward to claim the deposit as
next of kin, I hereby ask for your co operation in using your name as the
next of kin to the deceased to send these funds out to a foreign offshore
bank a/c for mutual sharing between myself and you. At this point I am the
only one with the information because I have removed the deposit file from
the safe.By so doing, what is required is to send an aplication laying
claims of the deposit on your name as next of kin to the late Engineer. I
will need your full name and address telephone/fax number,company or
residential, also your bank name and account,where the money will be
transfer into.

Finally i want you to understand that the request for a foreigner as the
next of kin is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and for that reason alone a local cannot represent as next of kin. When
you contact me, then we shall discuss on how the money will be split
between us and others we shall also speak in details.I am currently in
europe for a six months course,you can reach me on this number for further
discussion 0031 623 866 723.Kindly send your reply to my private email
address stated below mosesodig1@zwallet.com or mosesodiaka1@yahoo.com

Trusting to hear from you,

I remain Respectfully yours,

Mr Moses Odiaka.
mosesodig1@zwallet.com or mosesodiaka1@yahoo.com
(0031 623 866 723)



Copy Cop

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at first i was lol and then i thought it was just some stupid gimmick and now i dunno what to believe


"I......want to believe......"

-Fox Mulder, The X-Files


Weed Wolf

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

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