MSPaint weird things your dad does that are beyond your comprehension.

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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > MSPaint weird things your dad does that are beyond your comprehension.

C-3PO's ex-wife: Jul 15, 2006; by Fistgrrl

My dad has been doing this for years and i still don't understand why.

He's the only person i know who does this so everytime i have people over i simply avoid that topic of conversation.

Whip out Paint and show me weird poo poo your dad does.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:02

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# ? May 25, 2013 12:54

The Stygian: Feb 7, 2007; Exeggutor?

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:14

Bum the Sad: Aug 25, 2002; God Damnit

The Stygian posted:

You're dad thinks he's australian?

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:15

Beeznotch: Sep 24, 2004

Always has annoyed me and always will.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:17

King Skinny Pimp: Oct 24, 2004; by T. Finn

I'm not sure if this is what I was supposed to do, but I don't understand it.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:24

hedonista: Feb 23, 2007; why is grief. grief is strange black. sugar is melting. we will not swim.

My dad, the cheese fairy.

He will manage to consume a ridiculous amount of cheese - but secretly, in the night.
I have had friends tell me that their fathers practice this, as well. In fact, it has even been documented by The Simpsons (in one episode, Homer stays up all night eating slices of cheese). Is this a dad thing? Is this a guy thing?!

I do not understand.
Also: KETCHUP ON EVERYTHING.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:25

Capeman: Feb 6, 2007; I didn't want to be a superhero - but once I had the cape, I had no choice.

My dad still eats bubbletape (if anyone remembers that), I don't know why, but I think it's adorable

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:27

Capeman: Feb 6, 2007; I didn't want to be a superhero - but once I had the cape, I had no choice.

Stupid double-post

hedonista posted:

My dad, the cheese fairy.

He will manage to consume a ridiculous amount of cheese - but secretly, in the night.
I have had friends tell me that their fathers practice this, as well. In fact, it has even been documented by The Simpsons (in one episode, Homer stays up all night eating slices of cheese). Is this a dad thing? Is this a guy thing?!

I do not understand.
Also: KETCHUP ON EVERYTHING.

My dad eats the cheese right in front of us, but we have noticed entire cans of cranberry sauce disappearing in the night >.>;;;

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:28

Milo Pollywalter: Nov 25, 2006; there's a bear going round, taking names

C-3PO's ex-wife posted:

My dad has been doing this for years and i still don't understand why.

You're not alone - my dad used to do the same thing. He gave up when everybody else in my family just took the wrap off every time.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:28

hedonista: Feb 23, 2007; why is grief. grief is strange black. sugar is melting. we will not swim.

Capeman posted:

My dad still eats bubbletape (if anyone remembers that), I don't know why, but I think it's adorable

I think that is the cutest father quirk I've ever seen. I remember stuffing my face full of that gooey sugar-mass and blowing bubbles as large as my own head.

I wish my dad would make me buy him cans of this instead of his GRIZZLEY BEAR CHEWIN' TOBACC-EY.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:33

Nobody Home: Jul 27, 2006; by Fragmaster

Capeman posted:

My dad still eats bubbletape (if anyone remembers that), I don't know why, but I think it's adorable

Everyone should do this. Bubbletape is loving delicious.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:33

C-3PO's ex-wife: Jul 15, 2006; by Fistgrrl

Beeznotch posted:

Always has annoyed me and always will.

your dad is

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:35

SketchyNick: Oct 15, 2005

hedonista posted:

I think that is the cutest father quirk I've ever seen. I remember stuffing my face full of that gooey sugar-mass and blowing bubbles as large as my own head.

I wish my dad would make me buy him cans of this instead of his GRIZZLEY BEAR CHEWIN' TOBACC-EY.

Atleast he has good taste in dipping tobacco!

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:42

Tonesy: Apr 15, 2004; QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE QUAGSIRE

God, dad, you never want to do ANYTHING with me anymore!

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:44

FateoMcSkippy: Mar 22, 2003; Ironic, isn't it, Smithers?

This anonymous clan
of slack-jawed troglodytes
has cost me the lockout!

And yet, if I were
to have them killed,
I would be the
one to go to jail.

That's democracy for you.

The Stygian posted:

My dad does this. He also talks to the automatic car wash machine that you punch your code into before you go into the wash. He'll basically thank any machine that he has to get something from/gives something while he is in the car.

edit: also, suit and tie doctor by day, sweatpants and less than jake tshirt (or any other tshirt i've let him have when i don't want it anymore) any other time.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:46

Rekkit: Nov 5, 2006

ThunderTung posted:

God, dad, you never want to do ANYTHING with me anymore!

I feel guilty that I laughed.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:46

Reverend Zero: Mar 8, 2006

My dad used to hide whenever we had company over. Anytime somebody knocked on the door he'd go hide in the kitchen or the side room until they left. At age 10 this was beyond my comprehension but now at 21 I know he was a little off his rocker.

He had no problem letting Jehovah's witness in though.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:46

Gay Rumsfeld: Nov 12, 2006

C-3PO's ex-wife posted:

My dad has been doing this for years and i still don't understand why.

He's the only person i know who does this so everytime i have people over i simply avoid that topic of conversation.

Obviously your dad doesn't want to have to worry about ruining the remote every time he watches porno

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:50

Boner Apraxia: Aug 25, 2002

blanked posted:

I'm not sure if this is what I was supposed to do, but I don't understand it.

This is exactly the type of father I will be when I have kids

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:54

Azerban: Oct 28, 2003; ...it's only gonna make you love me more...

Capeman posted:

My dad still eats bubbletape (if anyone remembers that), I don't know why, but I think it's adorable

This is exactly the type of father I will be when I have kids

# ? Mar 6, 2007 00:56

faantastic: Dec 31, 2006; that dude.

Love my dad to death, but he did this two times that I remember.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:01

Biff Rockgroin: Jun 17, 2005; Go to commercial!

That Saran Wrap idea is kind of smart. If you wrap a remote in plastic, nobody can get their grubby hand dirt all over it.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:01

Carebear: Apr 16, 2003; If you stay here too long, you'll end up frying your brain. Yes, you will. No, you will...not. Yesno you will won't.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:06

LEMONedIceCream: Dec 26, 2006

No matter where we are, my dad will sing and dance...loudly. In the most over the top way he possibly can.

I've learned all the ebonics I know from him.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:08

tiananman: Feb 6, 2005; Non-Headkins Splatoma

Biff Rockgroin posted:

That Saran Wrap idea is kind of smart. If you wrap a remote in plastic, nobody can get their grubby hand dirt all over it.

But...then there's grubby hand dirt on the saran wrap, and you still have to touch it to change the channel.

My dad would just yell at me for getting grubby hand dirt on the remote, and then make me clean it, and probably yell at me again later.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:08

TheGreenAvenger: Jun 22, 2005; I killed Chin the Conqueror.

tiananman posted:

But...then there's grubby hand dirt on the saran wrap, and you still have to touch it to change the channel.

My dad would just yell at me for getting grubby hand dirt on the remote, and then make me clean it, and probably yell at me again later.

But the saran wrap is easier to change than the buttons on the remote.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:13

The Tragic Hero: Apr 8, 2006; Omnomnomnom

TheGreenAvenger posted:

But the saran wrap is easier to change than the buttons on the remote.

Easier to clean/replace too.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:14

Action Andy: Feb 5, 2007; Out From Animals

My mate's dad has a couple that he does that always make us laugh >

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:14

HauntedRobot: Jun 22, 2002; an excellent mod
a simple map to my heart
now give me tilt shift

Dances from foot to foot flailing his arms and screeching "Vee dub dub dub Vee dubba dubba dub".

For as long as I can remember, regardless of context. He's a pretty wierd guy.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:16

Slippery Nipple: Mar 5, 2007; The most elusive mammary papilla around

It's sort of weird. The majority of the time I remember him in his casual clothes around the house he only has one sock on. I don't think it's a conscious thing, it would always switch between one foot and the other. It always mystified my mother.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:16

Lovie Unsmith: Mar 19, 2005

The worst part is that I have inherited this habit.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:20

EllisD: Mar 14, 2004; WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT!?

Under no circumstances would I ever invite my friends over in high school.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:21

Russian Dollies: Jun 25, 2006; Basically... RUN.

Every drat time.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:26

Action Andy: Feb 5, 2007; Out From Animals

Here's another one, again this isn't my dad, it's my mate's...

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:32

Milo Pollywalter: Nov 25, 2006; there's a bear going round, taking names

Biff Rockgroin posted:

That Saran Wrap idea is kind of smart. If you wrap a remote in plastic, nobody can get their grubby hand dirt all over it.

TheGreenAvenger posted:

But the saran wrap is easier to change than the buttons on the remote.

The Tragic Hero posted:

Easier to clean/replace too.

You three are going to make excellent fathers.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:37

Ocean Madness: Sep 26, 2006; Somewhere between the hipsters and the hoboes.

I tried explaining that we'd be getting our ice cream for free, so really we were one-upping those drat leftists, but he wasn't having any of it.

And my stepmother totally does the saran-wrapped remote controller thing.

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:39

hedonista: Feb 23, 2007; why is grief. grief is strange black. sugar is melting. we will not swim.

all y'all posted:

remote control + saran wrap madness

That is totally just like covering all of your furniture in plastic... Sure, it stays nice and clean, but to me it's just so goddamn annoying and uncomfortable and sterile and NOT LIVING LIFE TO ITS FULLEST.

P.S. Are Ben & Jerry still liberal since they started producing Stephen Colbert's "Americone Dream?"

# ? Mar 6, 2007 01:47

Zorak: Nov 7, 2005

hedonista posted:

My dad, the cheese fairy.

He will manage to consume a ridiculous amount of cheese - but secretly, in the night.
I have had friends tell me that their fathers practice this, as well. In fact, it has even been documented by The Simpsons (in one episode, Homer stays up all night eating slices of cheese). Is this a dad thing? Is this a guy thing?!

Jesus, mine does it too. And when there's nothing else to eat around, I'll do it too