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Djarum
Apr 1, 2004

I promise, that one day, everything's going to be better for you.


So yesterday I walk downstairs to get my mail, along with the tons of free magazines and bills I get this.



Since when has the Postal Serivce been sending out such great little safety notices?

Well of course the first thing that I thought of was to post it on here for everyone to partake in the fun.

I start it when my first horrible attempt.



Hopefully someone can do justice to it.

UPDATE

eaglebtc was kind enough to help everyone out with the whole process. Here's what he told me:

quote:

I've got a multi-layer PSD and a RAR with all the fonts for the HelveticaNeue family. They are in OpenType format, which means anyone using Windows 2000 or XP can read them. Or they can download a free font reader.

Contributors should grab the following archive:

http://www.promotionsfd.com/test/usps-goldmine.rar

It contains the layer-separated PSD template, plus the USPS logo (EPS, with emblem reversed) and the font pack necessary for the text.

The PSD template has all layers separated by component: gray box, outline, dog & man, text, top box, etc. Its current size is 1600x1000, approximately. Becuase I made it larger, I redrew the "vector" objects so they would look better at this higher output resolution (150dpi). The text layers are in place, with the correct font selected. The user *must* have the fonts installed before they open the PSD or they will receive a warning.

Oh btw, I'd like to share a link with you: if you ever want a shitload of corporate logos for whatever, visit www.logotypes.ru.

Hope it helps!

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Bongohead
Aug 13, 2003

I am one hot chick!

I downloaded one meg of pictures for this? :mad:

...

Wow did this thread take a turn for the better!

Bongohead fucked around with this message at May 20, 2004 around 15:13

Mahnkiman
Jan 15, 2003

AHA MY CREATOR TOLD ME YOU MIGHT COME HERE ONE DAY TO DO STUFF. I MUST TERMINATE YOU

quote:

ThePeaLobster came out of the closet to say:
I downloaded one meg of pictures for this? :mad:

Tony Italibado
Feb 19, 2004

by Ozma




MAKE THAT A MEG AND A HALF.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Lonely Wolf
Jan 20, 2003

Will hawk false idols for heaps and heaps of dough.


Tony Italibado
Feb 19, 2004

by Ozma




needs more love in this thread

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

neap0litan
Sep 9, 2001



Daddar
Nov 13, 2003

What the fuck is the Internet?

quote:

neap0litan came out of the closet to say:

winner!

Diablos
Aug 21, 2003
Unlimited

You moving letters around for this or do you have a font suggestion?
Oh and great contribution Tony Italibado, best so far :D

Way more of a pirate then you will ever be

Wompa164
Jul 19, 2001

Don't write ghouls.


"Someone is inside your house!"

michaelm
Jul 30, 2002

"what" with a touch of "hurrr"


quote:

Wompa164 came out of the closet to say:
"Someone is inside your house!"

LukeNukem
Feb 4, 2004
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together

edit: I actually did some half decent ones later on this thread, this one isn't going on the page o' shame.

LukeNukem fucked around with this message at May 21, 2004 around 16:59

Diablos
Aug 21, 2003
Unlimited

It's true, I really do hate it.

Way more of a pirate then you will ever be

Diablos fucked around with this message at May 20, 2004 around 13:16

Krakkles
May 5, 2003



I'm pretty sure ne0politan has secured the gold status of this thread already. good job, mate.

elpintogrande
Sep 3, 2000


FrozenEntree
Jun 11, 2001

Contingency Plan THIS!! You lurking, brooding, side kick losing sum-a-bitch!


Inspired by the Rob Liefeld crappy artwork thread.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

lopl tjanks! OFFICIAL E-Friend of T_S_M, accept no imitations.

Reo
Apr 11, 2003

That'll do, Carlos.
That'll do.




:lol: EPG! It's nice to see people that don't always have to jump straight to necro pedo bestiality to be funny.

dcardenas
May 20, 2004

by Lowtax


----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

dcardenas fucked around with this message at May 20, 2004 around 13:43

Radio
Jul 25, 2003

Oh no, trash bear!

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

Gotta' nuke something.


Tekilah
Apr 15, 2004
Everything good was taken

quote:

Bloody Hedgehog came out of the closet to say:

Ahaha, please put this one (or any others that wouldn't be "a threat") back onto your outgoing mail tomorrow!

Edit: POWER EDIT!

Tekilah fucked around with this message at May 20, 2004 around 14:07

iS!
May 23, 2003
Almost An Ambigram

I don't have anything to contribute at the moment, but my dad's a mailman, and he enjoyed this thread when I showed it to him.

elpintogrande
Sep 3, 2000


Yeah, that Zentraedi one is really hilarious.

Inquisitor
Jul 20, 2003


Suzy, Age 4
Feb 21, 2001





I wasn't sure if this next one would be funny, so i'll only link it.

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

Gotta' nuke something.


quote:

elpintogrande came out of the closet to say:
Yeah, that Zentraedi one is really hilarious.

It's just a bit of non-sequitor humour. It's okay if you don't get it Pinto, you get other things.

I'll try and make more featuring aromatic testicle based humour in the future.

capnjack
Oct 4, 2002



quote:

Bloody Hedgehog came out of the closet to say:


It's just a bit of non-sequitor humour. It's okay if you don't get it Pinto, you get other things.

I'll try and make more featuring aromatic testicle based humour in the future.
I think he wasn't sarcastic. I like it, regardless.

uniball
Oct 10, 2003



RobattoJesus
Aug 13, 2002





EDIT: Did that photocopy thing on the car to make it fit better with the rest of the poster.

RobattoJesus fucked around with this message at May 20, 2004 around 20:59

Sloppy
Apr 25, 2003

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.

Red Fred
Feb 26, 2003

Didn't you realise how amazing taekwondo was?



Don't know if the postmen in the US have a bad-a-rap for stealing as they do over in the UK.

Diablos
Aug 21, 2003
Unlimited

quote:

Red Fred came out of the closet to say:


Don't know if the postmen in the US have a bad-a-rap for stealing as they do over in the UK.

Postmen have a bad rap for stealing in the UK? My area don't seem to think this :S Nice contribution though.

Way more of a pirate then you will ever be

Wraith
May 22, 2001

ARISE
ARISE, ROBOTS OF THEODEN

I haven't laughed this hard at a thread in a long time.

baalzamonbarnes
Mar 20, 2004

dirty internet pirate

quote:

Wraith came out of the closet to say:
I haven't laughed this hard at a thread in a long time.

Yeah, this thread is great. Keep up the good work guys. I'll see if I can throw something together later.

Red Fred
Feb 26, 2003

Didn't you realise how amazing taekwondo was?

quote:

Diablos came out of the closet to say:


Postmen have a bad rap for stealing in the UK? My area don't seem to think this :S Nice contribution though.

Not a very bad one, but alot of people make comments about post going missing. I got a mix tape sent to me and that went missing, I've had birthday money gone missing in the post before.

Ogantai
Apr 21, 2003

Full of bologna.



I think the font is Arial Narrow. Confirm/Deny?

The Letter S
Sep 11, 2001

by Lowtax


quote:

Bloody Hedgehog came out of the closet to say:
I printed this out and taped it where my postman can see it.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Mouse Dresser
Sep 3, 2002

Only science can make the Connections

quote:

Bloody Hedgehog came out of the closet to say:

I have to go to the post office later today, and I am printing that to take with me and tape up at the packaging counter.

wintrrmute
Jul 28, 2002

We're not breaking out of a Jamba Juice, gentlemen.

My pathetic attempt:

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I Love Topanga
Oct 3, 2003


quote:

Tony Italibado came out of the closet to say:


needs more love in this thread

This is great.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

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