Directed by: Polonia Brothers Starring: Mark and John Polonia After seeing Lowtax's review of the movie back in 2000, I resolved that I would one day see it. I finally bought it off half.com for $2.50 in January 2002, and I watched it with my mom. She said she nearly fell asleep. The movie starts off with one of the Polonia brothers rambling on and on in front of a wall about the first movie, which I haven't seen. This goes on for several minutes, and then it goes to the present day. According to Lowtax's review, the Earth was destroyed in the first way, but I'm going to disregard that. The main characters consist of one of the Polonia brothers, his wife (and probably cousin), and the two kids. Also there's a priest, a old lady, and a guy working in a warehouse, who are all cut to with absolutely no introduction or character development (I feel silly mentioning the phrase "character development" in a drat Polonia flick review) I will be honest. There's really not that much funny about the film. It tries hard to be funny-cheap, but just comes off looking dismal and depressing. I feel weird saying this, but this actually gave it a somewhat creepy feel to it. Enough to give me a couple of bad dreams later on. I certainly was more scared by this movie than by stuff like Jeepers Creepers. Then there's the whole "crisis of faith" thing put in, which reminded me of Signs. Of course, the Polonias felt that God was too big a concept to put in their film, so they settled with Santa Claus. Who proves his existence in the film. I wish I had made that up. Overall, it's not funny, a little scary, and is somewhat like Signs, except with about .001% of the budget. RATING: 1.5 PROS: It's actually a bit scary! CONS: Everything else ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366436/
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# ? Jun 17, 2004 03:17 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 15:25 |
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quote:ArcticBanana came out of the closet to say: a movie about sock puppets fighting Santa Claus, who is armed with a laser gun and teleporting presents? That's scary?
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# ? Jul 22, 2004 20:56 |
Okay, "scary" isn't really the right word. "Depressing" would be better. It IS terrifying when you think about what better purposes the money spent on this could have gone to. And Feeders 2 is still scarier than Jeepers Creepers, though I think The Sound of Music would also be scarier than Jeepers Creepers.
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# ? Mar 27, 2005 16:22 |
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quote:ArcticBanana came out of the closet to say:
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# ? Apr 4, 2005 01:12 |
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I enjoyed watching this movie. Some highlights included a scene of the guy in the warehouse getting killed that was also in the Polonia production "Night Crawlers" (another winner, by the way). Yes that's right, the exact same scene is included in both movies. They're nothing if not crafty, those Polonias. Other fun stuff includes the part where they ignore that the world was blown up in the first movie (as mentioned), and the boss of the nerdy guy that is totally evil for no particular reason. Oh, and the end makes no loving sense whatsoever, but that's to be expected. I'd recommend this movie to everyone with a tolerance for crappy movies. If you have a couple of seasons of MST3k under your belt this should be a cake walk. However, a "normal" person might find it hard to get through this poo poo. For entertainment value I'm going to rate this a 5
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# ? Apr 5, 2005 20:51 |
quote:Lowtax came out of the closet to say: I didn't go back to this thread until eight months later.
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# ? Apr 6, 2005 21:34 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 15:25 |
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This hurt like hell. It was also only about an hour long, yet contains three hours worth of pain. I can't believe they recycled the footage of the camera being dragged along the ground with inverted colors while someone screeches and makes throat noises, which took up at least half of the original movie and about a third of this. That noise haunts my dreams. Santa Claus with a raygun couldn't save me from that noise. Personal - 0 Technical - 0 Rating - 0
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# ? Apr 8, 2005 05:30 |