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Directed by: Hal Warren Starring: John Reynolds, Hal Warren, Diane Mahree, Jackey Neyman, Tom Neyman Declared by many to be "the worst movie ever" after its appearance on MST3K, Manos is too uniquely bizarre to be so easily dismissed. Weird performances, weird atmosphere, weird music and wicked awesome interior design for the Master's house, the kind of filthy pit decorated with creepy Satanic detritus that Christian America undoubtedly suspected to be hidden away all over the country, tiny havens for the Devil-worshippers in their midst. Also: it looks like the kind of place where you wouldn't be surprised to find an old porkchop behind the couch. In a country where big-budget abortions like The Haunting (1999) and Gothika continue to be made, I can't rightfully call a movie this cheap the "worst" of anything. Catch it first without the puppet commentary if you can. RATING: 2.0 ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060666/ jc dracula fucked around with this message at 09:06 on Jun 27, 2004 |
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Jun 25, 2004 13:41
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'Manos' the Hands of Fate is a movie of legend both its creation and in itself, so I'll do my best to acknowledge both parts. As the legend goes, Hal Warren (writer/producer/director) was a fertilizer salesman who lived in El Paso when this all began. At one point he made a bet with a visiting location scout that he could make a popular horror film on a miniscule budget. The movie was shot in two and a half months with a budget of about $19,000, filmed entirely on one hand held camera that could only record for 30 seconds at a time without sound. Instead of money, Warren sold shares to the cast and crew for their work. When anything went wrong with a take Warren assured the cast that any goofs would be edited in post-production and they never were. Actors were asked to make their own costumes. Shortly after shooting this cinematic abortion, five of the main actors took their own lives, saving them from the terrible opening night when the audience began heckling the movie and much of the cast, the majority of which never worked in film again, snuck out early in embarassment. On to the film itself, Manos (That's spanish for "hands!") is loving terrible. The movie opens with ten or more minutes of shots of the countryside from a moving car, where the credits were allegedly supposed to be but never were added. Get used to things like that and you may make it through to the end. The story is that a family of three gets lost and winds up in a house owned by a satanistic cult where they meet their doom. That's it. Oh wait, there's also completely pointless scenes with a couple making out in a car that keep being interrupted by the police, which were added because the actress broke her leg right before shooting started and couldn't appear in her original role. As for characters, well, there's the aforementioned clueless family (Margaret, Michael and Debbie), two cops, and teens making out. Then there's the Master, the Master's wives, and Torgo. Torgo is a stuttering bearded cripple freak with giant thighs (he's supposed to be a satyr with goats legs) who hits on Margaret and gropes the Master's wives while they're asleep. The Master sleeps in the woods and stares at people. The zenith of these character's usefulness is when the Master comes to the house and wakes Torgo, who is sleeping on the floor. Torgo then struggles to get up for two full minutes (I'm not kidding) while the Master stands there staring at him, then they stare at each other awkwardly for another thirty seconds in silence, no doubt waiting for the reel on the handheld camera to run out. Everyone else might as well not exist, and they barely do. This movie is positively unbearable without the MST3K commentary, but a must see for everyone. You cannot talk about bad movies until you see Manos: The Hands of Fate.
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Jun 25, 2004 17:56
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*claps* AWFUL! AWFUL! TRULY HORRIBLE! Where ever films are made, the people in charge need to see this movie just to understand how bad things can get. And forced to watch it again if they produce garbage.
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Jun 25, 2004 18:40
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It can't be worse than Feeders 2: Slay Bells, can it?
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Jun 25, 2004 20:30
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Never in my life have I seen such a non-movie as this. The entire storyline can be summed up on one sentence: nothing happens in this movie. The only source of any entertainment is Torgo, and that's just pure laugh-at-ability. This was such a non-movie that the MST3k episode is like Joel and the bots were commenting on a dark screen (not just figuratively in some cases), and led to it being what I consider one of the worst non-season one episodes. In fact, due to it being a non-movie, I cannot rate it as the worst movie I've ever seen; that would be giving it too much credit.
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Jun 25, 2004 21:10
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Manos is basically like one of those no-budget movies your friends would make with video cameras... then, edited on a VCR. Personally, I like the movie in a weird way. I think they meant well and the story could have been good, given that they had experience. I'd watch Manos: The Hands of Fate a hundred times in a row, rather than crap like White Chicks, though. As for the MST3K episode... I think it's one of the funniest. It's up there with another awful hack movie, The Creeping Terror (which is probably the worst movie ever made, IMO).
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Jun 26, 2004 15:11
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I love this movie. Love it love it love it. Technically not the worst film ever (the Coleman Francis trifecta or Monster-a-Go-Go probably deserves that spot) but it's a far more fitting choice than Plan 9 from Outer Space. Anyone who thinks Plan 9 is the worst is woefuly unexperienced in the world of bad cinema...it's not even the worst Ed Wood film! (Glen or Glenda) I've seen the MSTed version so many times it's joined the Star Wars films and various others as movies I can recite by heart. Voted a very loving and appreciative 0.5. ThErE iS nO wAy OuT oF hErE iT wIlL bE dArK sOoN ThErE iS nO wAy OuT oF hErE...
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Jun 26, 2004 18:44
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I would never watch it without MST3k, but i would watch it over poo poo like Dream Catcher. I think Manos deserves a 2.
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Jun 27, 2004 08:03
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I saw it with MST3k and laughed at how bad it was... I bought the dvd of the actual movie (5 bucks) and almost cried it was so bad... definately gets a .5/5. Horrible acting, horrible editing, and all. Torgo is the only redeeming quality.
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Jun 27, 2004 18:40
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quote:ArcticBanana came out of the closet to say: Feeders 2 was funny, in a bad way of course. Manos is unbearable, but luckily I had the MST version of it which numbed the pain somewhat. While Manos has cult status in it's awfulness, I still think that Howling: New Moon Rising blows it out of the water and into outer space.
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Jun 30, 2004 21:00
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Manos is just one of those movies that had no right to ever be good, and thus succeeds by being so amazingly lovely. Not a good bad movie like say Plan 9, but definately enjoyable as to try and figure out what the hell they were thinking. A bad movie has a 100 million dollar budget and sucks.. Manos, is just amazing.
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Jul 1, 2004 01:41
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A terrible film, but definitely not the worst. This one has some oddball characters you can laugh at and it's easy to keep track of what is going on. Look to Monster-A-Go-Go for a truly painful film.
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Jul 1, 2004 01:49
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