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Directed by: Joel Schumacher Starring: George Clooney, Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman Words fail me. Rarely does any movie I've ever seen just once stick with me the way this one did, but man oh man. Where to begin? I'm a HUGE fan of the Mr. Freeze character. I figured that if Arnold could channel his normal badass deadpan acting, he could do fine. Instead he's giddy and cornball. The script is just... it's just the worst script. It's just so bad. "It's the hockey team from hell!" almost made me punch a hole through my face so I didn't have to remember what I'd just seen. Bad acting, bad plot, horrible mischaracterizations, Gotham looks more like a theme park than New York, and they even manage to mess up Bane. I don't know how that's possible. This is the exact opposite of Spiderman 2. There are no redeeming factors that I can think of other than the brute-force production that a hundred million dollars can buy. All parties associated with this should be ashamed. RATING: 0.5 PROS: Uma is mildly hot CONS: Brain-explodingly bad ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118688/
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| # ? Jul 8, 2004 14:24 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 19:18 |
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Before I saw this movie, I didn't think that it was possible to mess up Batman. I mean, it's Batman, for God's sake! Unfortunately, I was wrong. You can't make a movie this bad by just being lazy. Even a lovely action flick slapped together in an afternoon has a certain threshold of terribleness. "Batman and Robin" far surpasses that threshold. The only way a movie can be made this awful is if the filmmakers actually go out of their way to create something lovely. Even then, there must have been quite a bit of effort piled on here to cancel out the positive effects of Batman and Schwarzenegger and end up with a whopper of a stinker.
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| # ? Jul 8, 2004 14:42 |
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I got a copy of this flick when I purchased my most recent DVD player. I almost gave the player back because of it. I could feel the brain cells dying.
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| # ? Jul 8, 2004 15:12 |
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Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. Joel Schumacher. .5 The Human Crouton fucked around with this message at Jul 8, 2004 around 16:33 |
| # ? Jul 8, 2004 16:10 |
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I remember my whole family getting up early on a sunday morning to go watch this, permiere weekend, at Citywalk. I have a faint memory of all of us walking out of the theater with a blank stare on our faces, only to utter something like 'that really wasn't too good/fun'. Oddly enough, the strongest memory I had of the movie was the fact that the Smashing Pumpkins song wasn't as good a theme as the one Seal belted out for Batman Forever. About a year ago, TNT ran it on a lazy sunday afternoon. "It can't be THAT bad, right". Wow, was I ever wrong. The dialogue is horrendously bad. It's like they decided to parody the 70s BATMAN series but forgot to tell the audience. I can't quite put a finger on just what was so bad about it-- suffice to say it's a hideous mix of poo poo script and bad delivery. Everything is completely over the top. Gotham is apparently a mile high, with 200 levels of Highways, pseudo-gothic sculpture, and several tons of Neon glow equipment. Similarly, gangs enjoy dressing in DayGlo colors that flouresce under blacklights. For me, Clooney just didn't pull off the role. As Wayne, he seems gay, acts like a dipwad, and his cynicism goes as far as being hostile. As Batman... well, I'm not a fan of a salt&pepper stubbled batman. His jawline just seemed unwashed with that 5'o clock shadow. Despite being an apparent 20, Robin acts like he just got a penis. Silverstone's Batgirl wasn't bad, but her trademark smirk doesn't translate into a stunning heoine. Freeze was just written wrong. He's completely campy and wasted on Arnold. It's sad when the Batman:TAS FREEZE was much more cunning, calculated, and downright scary. The suit.... oh god the suit. Ivy, total vapid stinkyhole. I thought it was impossible for the script to hammer in the whole 'WOMEN WILL USE THEIR MAGIC PHEROMONES TO CONTROL YOU MIIIIIIIIIIND' plot point they had, and then they go and add some feminism speech via Batgirl. This isn't even a good film to watch to laugh at its stupidity. At best it's like a bad fanfic. I only hope that the team behind this film and the people that brought us Terminator 3 don't decide to team up. The collosal amount of suck would cause the planet to implode. .5, but only because the scale doesn't include an outright 0.
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| # ? Jul 8, 2004 17:18 |
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I remember saying the same thing about XXX, but this is truly the worst movie I've ever seen.
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| # ? Jul 8, 2004 18:51 |
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On the Shermometer, this film rates a zero. Brrrrrrrrr.
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| # ? Jul 8, 2004 19:20 |
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This only gets a 0.5 because of Arnies lines such as 'cool down bird-boy'. Otherwise it would be 0, or possibly a minus score.
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| # ? Jul 8, 2004 19:34 |
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One step above Nazi war crimes. .5/5
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| # ? Jul 8, 2004 19:44 |
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I had the misfortune to see this on a 4 hour flight back from San Francisco on a red eye flight. All the crotch shots of Batman & Robin in their rubber outfits had some guy in a row or two behind me jerking off. Jerking off to Batman. How sad. .5/5
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| # ? Jul 8, 2004 22:34 |
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It wasn't the Shawshank Redemption by any means, but it is certainly more fun to watch than a lot of the poo poo that's out there. If you don't go in expecting it to be great and just want to have fun, then it's fine. It's campy enough to laugh at ("They are the harbingers of your doom!") and ... not much else. 2.5
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| # ? Jul 9, 2004 00:11 |
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Utter poo poo. I for one don't mind the neon or the facepaint that glows under a black light, or the fact that Gotham City is build miles high. Point in fact, I love all of that. The production work for the locations was outstanding. What depresses me the most is that a) they screwed up Batman and b) a fraction of the budget could've paid for a good writer. Oh yeah, and only one guy dies in the movie. And he's not even one of the supervillains. 0.5/5
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| # ? Jul 9, 2004 01:00 |
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I hated this movie back when I was still a little tyke and unaware what "bad movies" were. The VHS I somehow came into possesion of served a great purpose as a finishing tape for a car race my friends and I had. For that reason I give a 1.
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| # ? Jul 9, 2004 04:23 |
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This was quite horrid.
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| # ? Jul 9, 2004 12:22 |
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quote:yosarian came out of the closet to say: god no. .5/5
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| # ? Jul 9, 2004 13:06 |
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Horrible, horrible. Uninteresting characters, ludicrous plot and silly acting. Uma is quite hot though. NEEDS MORE MICHAEL KEATON. 0.5
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| # ? Jul 9, 2004 13:52 |
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The director and writer should be wrapped in barbed wire and shot into the sun. .5
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| # ? Jul 9, 2004 18:18 |
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That Arnie became a GOVORNER after making this movie just hurts my soul to contemplate. 0.5
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| # ? Jul 9, 2004 18:58 |
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hahahahaha Batman & Robin
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| # ? Jul 9, 2004 19:28 |
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This is in the running for "worst non-mst3k movie" that I have ever had the "pleasure" of viewing. "Ice to see you." .5
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| # ? Jul 10, 2004 07:28 |
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Die Schumacher Die .5/5
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| # ? Jul 10, 2004 10:12 |
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A terrible, terrible film but also hilarious because of precisely how bad it is. Each one of Arnie's puns is worse than the last. Also, be sure to look out for the icicles made of rubber once Gotham gets defrosted .5/5
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| # ? Jul 10, 2004 12:02 |
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Freeze! Haha, I love this movie. 4!
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| # ? Jul 10, 2004 14:44 |
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1/5 for "Boooomb. Boooomb."
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| # ? Jul 11, 2004 03:26 |
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One day, I managed to catch this movie on USA. I regret it wholeheartedly. .5/5
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| # ? Jul 11, 2004 03:31 |
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Just a mess of a movie devoid of anything worth watching. The acting was atrocious, the plot stank, and the characters were worthless besides arnold. 1 out of 5
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| # ? Jul 12, 2004 04:56 |
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You have got to be kidding. Alicia Silverstone and Uma Thurman are running around in skin tight jumpsuits and Elle Macpherson is in it as well. Based on the hot chick factor alone I would give it a 3/5.
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| # ? Jul 13, 2004 08:36 |
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This movie gets a 1 for the rubber lips. I can't rate any movie that feaures RUBBER LIPS as a form of protection a .5
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| # ? Jul 13, 2004 17:28 |
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There's only so much eye candy in the world before this movie implodes due to it's lack of substance. I can't find words to describe this film, but I can find examples and use induction to convey my horror. This film is up there with Street Fighter and any Polly shore film as the most rear end backwards films you will ever see. Feel free to bring a knife to perform harikari if you feel the need to ever see one of these films. oh and i gave it a 0.5, but I'm disappointed i didn't find a negative number system
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| # ? Jul 13, 2004 20:02 |
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   Normally .5, but I up it to 1 for having the worlds greatest costume design ever!
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| # ? Jan 31, 2005 05:41 |
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I cannot loving believe that this movie was not brought up during the California governer re-elections. Unreal. CHILL! 0.0000000000000
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| # ? Feb 1, 2005 03:46 |
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A Bat-credit card? What the gently caress? This movie deserves no more than a slow and painfull death immersed in liquid-hot magma. 0.5/5
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| # ? Feb 1, 2005 15:56 |
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I saw this movie today, with the only expectation being to see Arnold saying stupid lines of dialogue. (Which is why I love him.) My expectations were exceeded! To be honest, this is not a good movie in the sense same sense one thinks Casablanca is good or something like that. I will judge this movie for what it is: a ridiculously badly scripted mess, but enjoyable nonetheless. The stupidity of how the plot progressed at times, made me laugh at several occasions, and believe it or not: Arnold had the most developed character of them all. All in all, this is not a good movie. Watching this flick with friend however, made it into an enjoyable one. If I would watch this again, it would be for the colours. I personally think the art direction in this movie is above all else in it. The special effects and colours makes this movie a visually pleasing one - its like watching Bioshock dressed in gothic architecture, but with the same range of colours. In general, I would give this a 2/5. However, I had no expectations or preconceptions about the movie and the characters, so I'll give it a 3/5. Enjoyable and visually pleasing, but still, this movie is like a cartoon.
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| # ? Nov 28, 2011 22:04 |
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Watch this movie to understand why comic fans consider Schumacher a monster and Nolan a savior.
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| # ? Dec 3, 2011 17:28 |
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This movie is a comic book on the big screen. If you like the old batman series and the comics you will like this movie. Why not give batman a credit card? Same reason he has marine animal repellent in his bat-copter. This movie is just a big cartoon about a man who dresses up like a bat to punch themed villians. That is all batman ever was, and no matter how hard you try to take it seriously, that is all batman will ever be.
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| # ? Dec 12, 2011 04:27 |
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This movie is silly and dumb. It achieves the Herculean task of making Uma Thurman and Alicia Silverstone unappealing, and it completely killed the latter's career. This movie send the superhero comic book genre into hibernation (get it?). That said, it's not without charm. Arnold Schwarzenegger seems to enjoy himself, and it shows. When you have a scene that's featuring him wearing a gown and bunny slippers, orchestrating a choir of his goons singing a Christmas song while they freeze to death, you might get an idea that this movie might not be all that serious about itself. But then it goes around and blasts what little goodwill those fun little camp moments create by going too far. I'll give it a 3/5, mostly due to Schwarzenegger's performance.
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| # ? Dec 13, 2011 13:12 |
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By far the best of the Batman movies. So much atmosphere. The scenery and the costumes are amazing. 4/5
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| # ? Dec 14, 2011 20:17 |
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Nipples on the bat suit. Even my high school-aged self was wise enough to know I was watching garbage. 1/5
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| # ? Dec 27, 2011 01:51 |
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The thing about this movie is that it doesn't even work on the level of "so bad it's funny" camp. It's not funny like the old Batman TV show was funny. It's just insultingly bad at everything. 0.5/5
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| # ? Jan 9, 2012 15:35 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 19:18 |
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Up until recently, this was the one Batman film which I hadn't seen at any point in my life. So when I purchased the Batman Anthology on Blu-Ray, I was quite excited to get my fill of Clooney and Schwarzenegger. After enduring the 120-something minutes that this goes on for, I can't believe at one point I was actually looking forward to this. It was as if the entire film was written and produced by a teenager who frequents Deviant Art. The script was atrocious and each actor was terrible in their role (except maybe Michael Gough as Alfred, but he alone couldn't leave me clamoring for anything by Christopher Nolan). The worst part undoubtedly had to be Schumacher's obsession with the buttocks of a superhero. Whenever Clooney, O'Donnell or Silverstone would suit up, there was a very unnecessary close-up of their behind, which went on for far longer than it should have. Poison Ivy was insufferable, Bane was ridiculous and the only thing that would have redeemed the film for comedic value was if Schwarzenegger shouted out "IT'S TURBO TIME" when reclaiming his suit after the prison break. Which he didn't. Screw you, Joel Schumacher. I'm going to go and watch the trailer for 'The Dark Knight Rises' again. 0.5/5
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| # ? Jan 24, 2012 22:10 |
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