|
Directed by: Damian Lee Starring: Jesse "the Body" Ventura, Sven-Ole Thorsen TL;DR: This movie is mind-numbingly boring. If it's not plodding through pointless "sci-fied" up dialogue about warping things or galactic codes of military justice then you are treated to exciting scenes of running through the woods. In fact, if you're not really in the mood for a sci-fi cop-space-manhunter-thriller and instead want to watch grown men run through the woods you should get this movie. This movie is so abysmal it's like I was watching it in hell. The sound track was stolen from the Weather Channel's light jazz selection. Even for the action scenes. Movie summary: Some girl in the movie who you think is just going to get killed or raped because she is stupid is impregnated by Sven-Ole Thorsen's glowing hand (not really raped because that would top out this movie's action limit). She incubates the child and gives birth in less than five minutes. FIVE MINUTES. Seriously. She comes home with the baby, and nobody thinks this is at all weird. She wasn't pregnant before she went out with her lame-rear end boyfriend (who never shows up for the rest of the movie), and suddenly she comes home with a baby. She then raises the child and kisses it and stuff and names it Tommy. The child never cries or talks for 5 years. This causes Tommy to have problems at school with the other children, so Mom has to meet with the principal of the school. Jim Belushi's scene as Principal Latimer is very funny but it's not worth watching the movie to see it. He's asking the mother why little Tommy is mute and if she's tried anything to make him talk because, quite frankly, he is running a "normal" school for "normal" kids. By not talking little Tommy is causing the other kids to act out. Tommy is frightening the other kids and they act out by pushing him around and calling him names. When the mother asks Principal Latimer if he told the other kids to stop doing this to poor Tommy he sheepishly says, "No, I haven't tried that. That's a good suggestion." End of scene. Then some more running in the woods followed by cars and slo-mo fight scenes. Fight scenes filmed in slow motion. With light jazz. The End. Stupid. RATING: 0 PROS: Jim Belushi is the principal of a "normal" school for "normal" kids, not kids who don't speak and get beat up for it. CONS: Everything else. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://comments.imdb.com/title/tt0101264/ angstacy69 fucked around with this message at 09:24 on Aug 21, 2004 |
#
?
Aug 5, 2004 04:50
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 21:30 |
|