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Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I never really get "alone" time at home - wife and kid are almost always there - so I've masturbated in every restroom at work, multiple times. They are all unisex, single toilet restrooms, but I made sure to aim for the bowl and thoroughly clean up any "spillage" after.

When I do get alone time - like I did this weekend - I fire up TGP sites and whck it like there's no tomorrow - 3 or 4 times in an hour if I can pull it off.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I HATE gay people with a passion!!!!! That includes men and women, I loving hate them all, I can't stand them and I can't wait till they die so they can loving burn in hell.

But on the forums I'll continually post that I "have no problem" with this and "I understand and respect their lifestyle".

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Earlier this week I was arrested for hitting my girlfriend. I was drunk but there was no excuse for it. Though she's forgiven me and I still have court to face, I'm fairly certain i'm going to kill myself the day of, instead of going to court. I know I wouldn't get jailtime or anything like that, and it is my first offense... But my family hasn't been very supportive and I'm afraid my girlfriends cheating on me now.

Oh, and I was banned a long time ago and now use my girlfriends account to read SA. (she no longer uses it). Sorry Lowtax.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Posts by TheSwami are extremely overrated, I see some of it being interesting but most of his tripe falls flat on its face. He doesn't deserve the following he has here. :/

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

One time in SAmart I got something really really cheap, like, 1/20th of the normal going price because the person selling it had no idea what they had.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I seriously live close to Lowtax in real life and I'm currently having an affair with his wife. Oh man, what's funny is that everyone's going to think I'm bullshitting. That bitch gives some good fellatio.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I don\'t know what the statute of limitations is on theft in Texas, so I don't want to post this in the open.

I stole literally thousands of dollars worth of liquor and other goods from a store I used to work at. It got so bad that I would order stuff from our suppliers just so I could take it. I couldn't even begin to add up all of the bottles and bottles and cases of liquor, beer, and wine that I stole out of that store. Ironically, I was promoted to manager at another store, where I stopped stealing almost immediately.

Also, I would smoke pot at lunch and be high at work.

There was a half-Asian girl that I used to know. She was extremely hot and wanted me. Unfortunately, she was 16 or 17 and I was 21. One night at her house, I stripped her naked and fingered her. I really never talked to her again after that, and I know she hated me for doing that to her. I was afraid of her dad, he was a teacher at my old high school, and I thought that he would have me arrested for molesting his daughter.

I am still in love with a girl who dumped me in 1993. If she would call me I would drop my entire life to go back to her. This will never happen, but just in case, I am fully prepared to do it. I have tried to find her on numerous occasions over the past several years, but I've not been able to. Alyssa, I love you! Call me!

I caught my wife e-cheating on me with a guy she met playing World of Warcraft. I threw a huge fit and it was very emo. Admitedly, we hadn't had more than a couple of times in the past 3 or 4 years, so I sort of felt bad about it. We started to have sex again, and like 3 or 4 times a week, which was great, but then I caught her messing around with another guy she met playing WoW. Now I am not attracted to her anymore and can't even get an erection when we are in bed together.

I have a great job that I got completely out of luck. I know that one day I will get fired or something for not knowing what the hell I am doing, but until then I keep trying.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was at a Taco Bell once, and the staff was being incredibly slow (I believe it took around 10 minutes for me to order my food) and they were incredibly rude to boot.
To voice my displeasure, I went into their bathroom after I was done eating and took a poo poo on the floor. It felt almost poetic.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was five I let this guy I know (also 5 at the time) feel me up and touch my vag and rear end. He called them "butt checks." We did it in the bushes by his house. I didn't really understand why he wanted to until later. He is now in the top ten at my school and got above a 1500 on the SAT. He plays three varsity sports and has lots of friends. I have never told anyone. It hasn't scarred me emotionally or anything, I think it's kinda funny.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was younger, I had sex with my younger sister. I was twelve, she was six. Nobody ever found out, although for years I kept wishing that someone would find out since I felt so horrible about it. Always felt like it'd be better if someone knew about it and I could be punished for it. When I got older though (18+) I started fearing that someone would find out. Since I'm older now, the punishment would no doubt be far, far worse. I'd probably kill myself if anyone found out, to be honest. But it's been over a decade now, so I don't think anyone will find out.

Apart from my sister, she remembers it. She brings it up in private sometimes, I used to tell her she was making it up or had a nightmare when she was younger, but she never believed it. She swears she'll never tell anyone, and she hasn't, so I trust her.

Probably more disturbing than all of that is the fact that one time, while she was drunk out of her mind, she told me (in private) that she would do it again. I don't think she remembers telling me that, hopefully she doesn't, it'd be too hosed up.
Well, is she hot?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I will gently caress any woman I'm attracted to, specially while drunk. I will inform girls that if given the chance I will try to gently caress them. This makes me feel justified when later they get drunk and I do gently caress them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to have this friend when I was like 10, at the time he was classed as a bit of a badass, petty thievery, rear end in a top hat to teachers etc... Anyway I went round to his after school once and while playing with our transformer toys he told me how he had hosed his little sister (about 6 years old). I was shocked but excited and told him to prove it and so he proceeded to call her into the room, pull down her pants, bend her ove the couch and gently caress her right before my eyes.

After a while he asked me if I wanted a go but I was too scared although I remember really wanting too. To this day I attribute my obsession with barely legal girls to this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I\'m an empty shell of a person and I wish I was dead. I haven\'t left my house in a little over 1 month and the only reason I had left was to pick up some anime pornography.

I hate my life and my social insecurities. I signed up on the forums because I'm unable to converse with people normally and every girl thinks I'm ugly. I come post in fyad to vent my rage by calling people faggots and telling them to get out. I don't have a job but I've spent the majority of my allowance on buying avatars (over 100$ in total) for my self and others so that I can finally be accepted by a group of people. There are alot of terrible posters in fyad but because I don't want to get ostracized I'm forced to participate in their lovely poster circle jerk fests. God, I just feel so fake and I wish I was an 01 reg date so I never had to go through with any of this

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i loving hate who ever it is at SA who doesnt check the TECH SUPPORT EMAILS GOD DAMNIT!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I joke around with my mom about wanting my grandma and uncle to pass away so I can get my inheritance but I'm not joking at all. They aren't even bad people, I just want their money.

I used to be a chronic liar and would make up stories about everything ranging from hacking to knowing a kid that died who I once went to school with.

I have back acne and refuse to take my shirt off unless I know I can hide it.

I think all of my friends don't actually like me but only hang out with me out pity.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think nearly every single poster at The Gentleman's Club is a goddamn pathetic loser. Try getting yourself an actual date instead of stroking the ego of a 400lb "curvy" whale attention whore. Have you seen these manatees post? They're complete idiots who make worse posts than the dumbest gamefaqs kids, but people fawn all over them and their disgusting pancake tits. I know "real women" don't have to be skinny as hell but when you're that disgustingly fat it's just going to cause health problems. Try posing nude for the internet after you lose your feet to diabetes, you vapid retards. The FYAD threads about these whores are hilarious, and the whiny people at TGC somehow think they can put their filthy, cavernous vaginas on the internet without it getting passed around.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have had sex with a married woman. I am friends with her child. Her child is a goon.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Pretty much everyone who whines about an admin being a jerk is an idiot and a terrible poster. The admin banned you for a reason you dick. Whatever stupid thread or post that you thought was the height of internet comedy was loving retarded to anyone with half a brain and the fact that you came back to whine about it is a detriment to the forums. Go post another goddamn e/n thread and never leave GBS.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A few months ago I was driving on the highway and saw a deer cross all six lanes of traffic unscathed, only to get hit (and presumably killed) by a car in the on-ramp. I laughed then, and laugh each time I think about it. And I think this makes me a bad person.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 7, there was a robin's nest out front of our bus stop. One day in the winter, we were shaking the tree by the road. Everybody else got bored, but I kept going, before I heard the splat. An egg had fallen from a nest high in the tree and cracked on the pavement by the road. I stared as the little immature bird tried to live, but couldn't. It was too young. After what felt like hours, the bird was noticed by my wonderful classmates, who asked if it was alive when it landed. I lied and said no. Little blue bird, totally innocent. Sorry.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm the only male grandchildren in my family, all the other siblings are extremely hot female cousins.I often had fantasies about them, and felt no remorse for it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm currently estranged from my great-grandmother, my grandmother, two of my brothers, my mother, and my father because my mother insists on keeping a picture of my brothers and I with my soul-stealing ex in a very nice frame in her guest bedroom. My great-granny is 94. My granny is 76. I'll probably never see them alive again. The part I'm ashamed about is that doesn't bother me nearly much as it should.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a nice house with equity, a loving girlfriend, a great office job, and college is starting tomorrow. That's the up-side. The down-side is that my life is so mind-numbingly boring and ordinary, I just want to cash out, sell everything, and go somewhere out West.

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Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

Aggro came out of the closet to say:
I sent one but forgot to use a proxy . Woops.
Don't worry about it. There's so many I don't even look at the addresses.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

FYAD has a thread making fun of this. Somehow them ragging on one of my confessions makes me feel better. If sharing this stuff makes someone laugh, then I'm happy I shared it. (Not happy it's the situation, but hey, I'm working on it.)

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've helped my friends cheat on papers several times. Occasionally it's just a page or two, more likely I end up writing the whole thing. The thing is, a lot of times I don't even accept money for doing this sort of thing, I'm just bored and semi-interested in the topic. I used to worry about what would happen if I got kicked out of college, but I honestly don't care anymore, college is boring and I think getting a degree limits you in a lot of ways.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

first some SA gripes that I'm not proud of:
I agree with what someone wrote before about Lowtax, while I do find him funny sometimes, I'm sick of the flood of brown-nosers that rush to rate his threads 5 and help him any way they can while making GBS threads on interesting ones.

For some reason, I think nimb00da is an rear end in a top hat, maybe it's because of a post from months ago that i forget, maybe it's because i don't like the look his title is giving me. You're probably not, so my apologies. I still resent John Locke for royally making GBS threads up the Halo 2 discussion thread with his stupid xbox live comments "LOL PLASMA'D!"

I'm jealous as hell of all the eurogoons, they don't know how lucky they are. Whenever I see a comment like "boy you americans sure have horrible dorms" i have to hold back the "gently caress you" i want to shout.

I think of myself as being better than everyone else, and that my life is lovely to make theirs better. I resent them for not being grateful to me for it.

I have a lot of liberal friends, and tend to be a pinko for the most part, but every once in a while I think about how perfectly a fascist society would be, but can never tell them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a huge crush on, and desperately want to have sex with a 52 year old, divorced woman at my work who has a teenage son (I am 25). I offered to fix a broken appliance at her house in order to get invited over, and when she stepped out of the house, I prowled around her bedroom and looked in her underwear drawer.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I sadly must confess that I think Lowtax is a total prick with a superiority complex. Also, I think his wife is ugly kekekekeke ^_^_^_^ I'm shocked no one has made fun of him for this, but hey it's his little universe. Also, I'd hate to admit but FYAD isn't funny at all. Sometimes I post there just so they tell me to 'get out' or 'go back to GBS'. I think it's kinda funny how a group of people think they're cool because they're mocking a bunch of "lifeless nerds who spend their whole life on the internet" by spending their whole life on the internet mocking aforementioned nerds. That's like the epitome of pathetic. My last confession is that I wish I had never heard of SA and registered for the forums because it's really addictive to keep checking and all that, but it is a colossal waste of time as well. C'est la vie.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Once this girl approached me and started hitting on me, she was pretty hot, but later after talking to her I found out she was only 11. 11 and stacked like hell. Oddly this turned me on even MORE and I still tried to get her to come out to my car with me so she could suck me off or something. I'm in my early 20's and I'm getting a hard on just thinking about it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I call myself a lesbian, but I fantasize about being hosed by guys
all the time.

I'm in love with a man that draws hentai. He dosen't know who the hell I am.

I'm unfaithful to my girlfriend.

I enjoy gurochan. I love blood. I like the taste. I fantasize about
having my chest ripped open, and shooting myself in the head. I want
to die in the most terrible way possible. I want to mutilate myself,
but I'm scared of pain.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

One of my eyes is lower than the other, and I think about it every
single day. It's not really noticeable, but I'm still paranoid about
it. I don't wear sunglasses or get haircuts where you have to even out
the forehead for fear of being found out. I don't think many people
know, and if they do, I thank them for not having said anything. I
find myself constantly looking at people in magazines and on TV to see
if they have uneven eyes too. I guess it's to reassure myself that I'm
not alone in looking like a freak. It bothers me so much that
sometimes I think about growing up to be a plastic surgeon so that I
can develop some new technique to make your face exactly symmetrical.

Every few days I also look at childsupermodels.com. I guess it's not
as bad because I'm only 16, and it's not really child porn, but so far
it has deterred me from taking my computer to a computer repair shop
to be fixed because I'm afraid someone there will find that I have
been looking at those sites and call the cops on me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father...

I took my engaged neighbor (girl next door) out on a
date before her wedding. She had confided to me about
being nervous having the same dick for the rest of her
life. I made her suck me off at the end of the date
and she swallowed up every drop as if she had found a
water-pump penis out in the middle of the Gobi Desert.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I met my girlfriend through Something Awful. She is beautiful and I am in love with her. While we didn't get to know each other until we started talking in class, we technically met because of the internet.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i have smoked 40x salvia on top of at least 10 different psychedelic
compounds, sometimes combining multiple psychedelic compounds and then
smoking salvia once i reach the peak.
it is pretty cool but i guess it's a sin so i'll admit it

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I imagine it's a sin (for SA) to think wrongly of lowtax and the
mods, but the hypocrisy on the forums is something i really hate.

An idiot posts a link to an AYB video or something.
lowtax: lol
goons: comedy gold!

An idiot posts a link to an AYB video or something.
goon:lol
other goons: idiot
lowtax: probation time

I know lowtax has done lots for the site and stuff, and I think he's a
cool cat, but if lowtax and random goon #84 were to make the same
joke, lowtax's would quoted 10 billion times because goons are like
"wow lowtax i'm a fag quote quote post voted 5"

I guess my problem isn't as much with lowtax, but with dumb goons.

Also, I'm very slowly starting to hate fyad. fyad used to be funny,
but now about 80% of everythign that was funny about it has turned to
them telling people to get out. They used to only tell people to get
out when they were bad posters. Now they tell everybody to get out.
Its not fun to lurk there anymore.

Since this all isn't really a sin, but something I wanted to say
anonymously, i'm also going to add an extra sin.

I got nude pictures of a recently 18 year old girl she gave to me as a
token of our relationship, and I sold them to a cheap porn site. She
still doesn't know.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

please don't say anything about who i am dude

"I miss my ex-girlfriend more than anything. She was my first
girlfriend (I was 19, now 20) and I lost my virginity to her a few weeks
after we started dating. I'm normally pretty depressed and bitter but
when I was with her, I was happy and content with my life. It was so
good to have somebody to share my life with, even if she did live 3
hours away and I only saw her once a month. We dated for about four
months until she decided she didn't have feelings for me anymore. For
the record, she's a goon too, and probably one of two or three people in
my life who have made any sort of positive benefit to me.

The only problem with the relationship was that she didn't really like
any sort of affection or compliments. If I told her she was
beautiful/smart/funny/witty/charming, she would get uncomfortable. We
only had sex a handful of times in the four months we dated, and after
that she was either too tired or on her period or didn't want to. Keep
in mind I saw her approximately ONCE A MONTH. It's disheartening to
know that your affection isn't appreciated. I'm a very affectionate
person and I crave this sort of thing, and being an overweight computer
nerd I don't get a lot of female attention and especially no affection.
Even worse, any potential girls are dismissed in my mind because they
don't meet her standards. I've put her on a pedestal as my ideal
girlfriend and nobody comes close.

Despite all this, I miss her terribly and would do just about anything
to have her back. Even though it's been almost five months since she
broke up with me, I still love her and care for her a lot, and it's
absolutely heart-wrenching to know she will never want or need me. Why
can't she love me the same way I love her? What the gently caress is wrong with me?

I also am falling behind in school and I hate my life for unrelated
issues, but that's for another confession."

thanks

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Most of my confessions are pretty tame, since I'm such an uptight person.

I accidentally stole a button in 7th grade when a teacher was handing
them out to kids in an activity club. I happened to be standing next to
him so I held my hand out intending to help pass them along, and he said
"Oh you want one too?" and gave one to me, but everybody in the club had
already grabbed one by the time I spun around, and I was too embarrassed
to give it back. Holy crap, that is so tame you'll think I'm an old
woman after reading some other people's confessions.

I hated my roommate in college. I yelled at him to his face, talked
about him behind his back, and was a general rear end in a top hat. Most of my
frustration with him had to do with his strange hours and incessant
gaming, to the neglect of school work and socialization. I didn't even
realize that part of the reason we were together was because I had
checked off "night person" and "computer games" on the roomie matching
form. To me, "night person" meant that I stayed up until almost
midnight. I was such an idiot...

Later that year we had roommate transfers on our dorm floor, and I moved
in with someone I got along with, only it turned out he was gay. I
wouldn't have had a problem with it (at least I don't think I would
have) except he started bringing boyfriends to the dorm room and making
out with them, and he was constantly playing opera and 1920s show tunes
on his stereo.. Yeah, he was a walking stereotype, but we got along
together until we moved in together. I ended up hating him with a
passion and complaining to the entire dorm floor about him. So much
pointless drama... I'm not sure what my problem with him was, but he got
on my nerves so much it was infuriating. I'm not anti-gay in a political
sense, but I find gay relationships to be pretty gross, and I've always
hated adhererence to a label (in this case the flamer stereotype)
because it just smacks of a total lack of personal identity.

I used to be incredibly possesive about my things, and I would yell at
my brothers for touching my books and toys. Yet I regularly borrowed my
brother's books and read them without asking him. I was an awful older
brother, but I've made up for it lately by trying to be really cool and
generous with them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a large collection of Sailor Moon hentai in my drawer. This is because of my ex-girlfriend, who like to draw it herself. We would have phone sex while role-playing as characters from the show.

The forums have destroyed my social life. I have Asperger's, and was just starting to reach out, but then I became a goon and spend hours a day reading the forums.

I have complained on the forums about a game I haven't played, a movie I haven't seen, and a TV show I haven't seen.

I stuck my hand down my little sister's pants when I was four.

When I was in second grade, I pulled her pants down during recess.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am the owner and operator of an anonymous web-mail service. It's not anonymous, and I pleasure myself to what I read. I log IP's and break into dumb&ignorant Windoze users computers if I think they have something interesting on it, from reading their 'anonymous' stuff.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was maybe 11 or 12 when the day of the horseshoe crabs happened. It was summer vacation, I was bored and hanging out with this really hosed up kid who later went to prison for statutory surprise sex. We went down to the beach by our horse just to kill time and saw something utterly fascinating. There was a cove where perhaps a hundred horseshoe crabs were gathered in the water. It was mating season and they were mostly attached to each other in coitus.

Out of sheer childish malice we started throwing rocks at them. Finally one got rock got a really good hit in and cracked open a shell. We were simply fascinated by the blue blood that inked from the hideous thing. So we did what was cruelly obvious. We grabbed whatever tree branches and driftwood that was lying around and clubbed the horseshoes all afternoon. We'd use sticks to grab them out of the water and club them until we saw blue. Sometimes out of morbid humor we'd kill one and leave the one that it was attached to alive. I don't think they had a clue as to what was going on.

I was reminded this the other day reading an article about the Rawandan massacres. About how the ordinary Hutu men who macheted the defenseless Tutsis described it mere methodical work. Get up in the morning, hack hack hack, break for lunch, hack hack hack, go to bed, make love to their wives. The tutsi's wouldn't resist or even scream knowing that they were alone and doomed.

Although not even comparable, I still can't believe that was me on that summer day. And I still remember it, not an ounce of hate in my body nor remorse at the moment. It was just work. Club club club, take a breather, club club club. It seemed almost natural to kill something so defenseless and weak.

Sometimes I want to go back in time and beat myself.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'd like to confess that I have a fetish. The fetish itself is
macrofurry. It's not just your normal furry porn. It's furry porn
involving giant furries. I like to masturbate to pictures of
large-breasted female furries going on a "rampage" of sorts in cities,
killing dozens of small, normal-sized ones.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I sometimes get the urge to spit in peoples faces when they talk to me.
Usualy it's if they are someone i kind of know and they're telling me
something i'm not really interested in. Happens all the time at work.
It's a compulsion that i have to consiously control, i haven't let
myself do it yet but i'm scared that one day i will.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My parents announced they were splitting up recently. One of the first
things that came to my mind upon hearing the news is that maybe I
could use this to get some attention from a girl I used to be with
that I still really like but she doesnt really talk to me anymore. I
felt horrible after I realized what I was thinking.

I hooked up with a girl this weekend that I have no feelings for just
cuz I wanted sex and spent half of the time thinking about the
previous girl.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Here it goes, there's a lot.

My girlfriend and I dated for over three years, she dumped me and made out with/did whatever with over ten guys. I made out with one girl at a party, and that was all. We got back together, but I only did it because I wanted her to have sex with me because, amazingly, we had never had sex, ever. We're still dating, and argue more than a married couple, and haven't ever had sex. It's been almost four years. I'm a complete sorry dumbass who is afraid to break up with her and try something else. She breaks up with me and gets back together with me like clockwork.

When I was a kid, my brother and I were mollested by a 30 year old man who took us camping. In fact, I don't even know if I was mollested. My brother said he was, and then the authorities asked me, so I said I was too, and I honestly don't think i was. He got a 12 year jail sentence, six years for each of us. He deserves it because of what he did to my brother, though. I'm twenty years old, and sometimes I cry thinking about how he's probably going to hunt us down and kill us once he gets out, since we still live in the exact same place.

Once I had a dog when I was a little kid. I tried to get him to lick my penis. When I think about it, I want to kill myself.

I masturbate profusely. About five times a day, and lie to above said girlfriend about it. She thinks I never masturbate, ever. God is she ever fooled.

Like someone else, I dated someone back in high school, we both ended up losing our virginity to each other. She was a bigger bitch than the girlfriend I have now. We hosed for a while after we broke up, and she was by far the most attractive person I'll ever, ever date. 99% of the time I masturbate, I think about her, or I can't get off, at all.

My mom is insane, no joke. She's on dissability from the government and is poorer than poo poo. She calls me three times a day to talk to me, because she so alone and sad. I always get pissed off at her because she calls so much, but cry all the time because how bad I feel for her, because she used to be such a god damned good person. My dad makes half a million dollars a year, and my moms on dissability/welfare. My dad doesnt support her at all, and hates her more than anything. It makes me feel like a prick, even though none of it is my fault, and there's nothing I can do about it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been sleeping with a goon for a few months now and it's the best sex
I've ever had.

I love to be dominated and overpowered in bed, and if I had to pick a
favorite form of sex it would definitely be anal. I think my friends would
be shocked if they ever found out how important sex was to me or how many
partners I've had. Not that many, mind you, but I'm not that attractive and
I don't talk to people much.

I once found a bunch of incest porn mags in my dad's room.

My ex robbed a bank because he owed me money. I told him that I'm going to
turn him in if he ever contacts me again.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm not sure if I'm really confessing anything here or just venting. Maybe I'll confess something at the end, but I'm not sure. I wish I was more fluent at the written word, because I'm not sure that I can do it justice.

I grew up in a neighborhood that had 9 kids in it, including myself. There was the bully, the followers, and myself. I was the target. This wasn't like some dramatic short story where it's a bully and a gang that shows off against the dashing young bullied and his band of friends that teach the rapscallion some manners. I had no friends, and for the most part I played by myself. When it came to games either I was picked last or I was the odd man out. This followed me into k-12, where I was pretty much mercilessly bullied every day. I hated going to school, because the neighborhood kids were popular there and I developed into the easy target; my mom told me when I was a youngster that I was so big I had better be careful about hitting people because I might hurt them. It stuck.

When someone calls you a enjoyable human being and trash, and makes your life a living hell eventually you become numb. Others believe the worst about you, no matter how fabricated, because most people are sheep and will believe anything if told to them enough. My daily routine was as follows: wake up, eat breakfast. Go to school. Get hosed with before class. Go to class. Get hosed with between periods. Get hosed with on the way home from school. Go inside and stay, because if I went outside I got hosed with. This isn't a nice loving, either. I was slammed against lockers, I had poo poo thrown on me, and constantly harassed. I went so far as to transfer to a private school to avoid the abuse, but I guess there's some worldwide bully network because I was told by a kid on my first day "you can't escape" and it started up again.

I can honestly understand columbine, and I wish they had killed more.

I also became the crying shoulder for every girl with psychological issues in school. I have a whole host of secrets about the girls that cried on my shoulder, and because I saw how much they were hurting inside I in turn somehow managed to hurt inside for them as well. I stayed up nights crying about the cocaine problems, about the rapes, about the abuse of others. At least I could cry for them,
because I couldn't cry for myself.

When I got out of high school I went to college. I lost down to 159 lbs in an effort to reinvent myself and change my ways, I picked up martial arts and I dated a little here and there. I latched onto martial arts and it helped me reform myself, until my master stabbed me in the back over teaching responsibilities and basically poo poo on what little self esteem I was trying to cultivate. This guy actually tapped his phone, and listened to conversations his students had with other people, and threatened to kick me out of the art because I told a fellow student that I was getting
burned out over teaching the same thing over and over and I wasn't learning anything new.

I quit college and went to a junior college, and met my first wife.

My first wife and I had a truly amazing relationship, and we were as close to soul mates as I can imagine people ever being. She had some problems with the new implantable birth control that she had gotten that had come out on the market, and basically turned into a chronically depressed heap that was suicidal 24/7. I watched this amazing person turn to a pathetic human being and there was nothing I could do about it, because we hadn't put two and two together and linked her birth control to it. Over the course of two years this literally drove me insane, and I took alot of my rage and impotence at her condition out on those around me. She saw what was happening to me and in a fit of self-degredation decided to leave me because "she was destroying me." This pushed me over the edge, and I lost myself in grief and the bottle for a few months, which was somewhat helped along by the fact that she called me daily to update me on her condition and entertain me with stories about her newfound drug habits and her suicidal thoughts. It took me three years to find my next wife, between which was a horrible, horrible engagement to a bipolar girl that sank me to new lows and tore my heart out again.

I met my second wife over a summer during my last year of college. We hit it off, but she was completely opposite from my first wife. My second wife was an attempt to me to break the circle of destructive relationships that I had with women in the past, and it worked for about 3 years. Until we got divorced. I can honestly say that I didn't love her, but she's a good friend to me and we still talk on occasion.

So here I am, at an empasse. I'm almost 35, I've been married twice, and I've managed to survive this long despite the daily abuses of my youth, the horribly abusive relationships I've been in, and the various indignities that I've had to deal with that I haven't even mentioned in this email that could make it much, much worse but would identify me. I've been single for 4 years, I've been on 3 dates over this period, and I have no physical contact whatsoever with anyone. It literally makes me jump when someone touches my shoulder, not because I fear contact but because all I want is contact, I want to be held and told that the last 30 something years of my life weren't a waste, and were meaningful. I don't want to die alone, but I don't want to live through another mistake again.

I feel so empty inside.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

Altf4 came out of the closet to say:


I'm pretty loving certain he's bullshitting, he's trying to get lowtax to shut this thread down or something, if I were in your position I wouldn't have posted it at all.

If you've seen some of the emails about Lowtax, this one seems credible. If anything, if there's a shread of truth, this thread helps Lowtax. If there's any problem I want to be 100% compliant, if there's any rule against quoting things that are sassing mods, or even if there isn't and they just don't want them posted, I would comply immediately.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I lead a very happy life, and feel that any skeletons in my closet are insignificant and don't apply to the person I am today. I'm chronically lazy and don't mind being so. I also love a girl and I'm going to tell her the next time I get a chance.
I just want to tell you man, out of my own experience, don't do it. I know what you're thinking but unless you're close enough to where youre POSITIVE she wont freak out, don't do it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have two fetishes that sort of scare me. No it's not dog sex or pedophilia.

First is facesitting. I want a girl to sit on my face, preferably while mostly clothed or something because an rear end in a top hat that close to my nose would probably make me vomit.

Secondly is something called WAM. It's girls getting hit with pies or having chocolate pudding poured on them or rolling around in creamed corn. Anything Wet And Messy, thus the name WAM. I'm pretty sure it comes from watching You Can't Do That On Television as a kid. I was shocked to find out that there was actually a pretty big internet community devoted to it where I can find grown women getting slimed.

The thing that I'm scared of is telling this to anyone, specifically a future girlfriend or wife who I've known and loved for a long time and them getting grossed out by one or both and leaving me for it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am getting really, really pissed off about the book and music dumps stil being closed. Every time I reload the main page I hope that maybe they'll finally be open, but they never are. Every time a little part of me dies on the inside.

Seriously, what the gently caress is the hold up here? How long does it take to change a couple lines of code? Open the loving things, you lazy sacks of poo poo.

Thank you.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a pathetic human being. I watch porn and jack off usually twice a day. I like hentai. I desperately want to be loved and I am terrified of dying alone, but for some reason girls don't like me. I have never gotten angry at a girl and have always tried to be as nice as I can to them, but I've never had a female friend. I don't care about finding a gently caress buddy or something like that, I just want to be "with" someone and no matter how hard I try to be the best person I can be, it never works out. I never initiate conversations in MSN because I am afraid that people don't want to talk to me. I sometimes see a girl I like on MSN, but she rarely starts a conversation with me so I almost never talk to her which always makes me feel like poo poo. I have thought about suicide a few times but am too much of a coward to attempt it. I am on SA for hours every day and see if I have ever been quoted because it makes me feel like I am accepted. I get angry at people if they make fun of me, and I've lost at least two friends because of this. Someone called one of my best friends a "retard" and I agreed with them because I was and am too much of a retard to stand up for them. I am rarely invited to social events, and even when I am I make up an excuse not to go because I always think there will be someone who doesn't want me there and I let them win rather than try to go out and have some fun. I have no idea what I am going to do in life (as in a career), and will be hosed when I go to University pretty soon. I've been told by some people that I look good but I still think I'm an ugly worthless waste of life. I watched beheading videos on Ogrish and despite them being disgusting, cruel, and despicable, and despite them keeping me awake sometimes at night, I still keep watching them whenever a new one comes out. I hate smokers and think fat people should go do some excercise instead of complain, no excuses. I spent an hour typing this out.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 25 years old and I have no career aspirations. This is because all I
want to do with my life is have kids and be a housewife. I've known this
since I was 18 years old. I am not ashamed of this, but I can't advertise
this (huge) part of my identity because it scares the poo poo out of 99% of
guys my age. I feel like people think I'm a failure because I have always
been "the smart kid"--top of my class, graduated with honors from one of
the best schools in the nation, etc.--and now I'm wallowing in a dead-end
administrative assistant job because I care so little about my career. I
hate meeting new people because they inevitably ask me what I do for a
living, and I feel that the answer is one that doesn't accurately portray
my level of intelligence.

Also, I am currently single and the guys I could see myself settling down
with don't seem interested in being with me for more than a few dates.
This is a HUGE source of stress for me. Finding a boyfriend is the #1
priority in my life. I whine about being single and people give me crap
about how I shouldn't always have to have a boyfriend in order to feel
good about myself. They don't understand the reason it's so important to
me is because when I am single, my "career" goals are completely stalled.
I want to have kids before I'm 30, but now that I'm 25, even if I
met the man I'm going to marry tomorrow, having kids before I'm 30 would
probably be moving too quickly. This upsets me a lot.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I like feet. I've heard some people say that a foot fetish is the
fetish ever, and this kind of embarasses me. Still, I think feet
are nice. The thing is, I don't like it feet in the sense that I
like pictures of women jacking off guys with their feet, or showing
the soles of their feet to the camera, toes all splayed out. I
think that's gross and generally pretty unfeminine. Also I think
dirty feet are bad too.

I like feet more in the sense that I like to see the entire body of
women, and don't like it when the frame cuts women off at the
thighs or crotch. And plus, I mean, you're not really naked unless
your feet are naked too, right? For this reason I don't like it
when women don't take off their socks or shoes when doing porn.

Is that so weird!?! I don't think so.

Also I have small penis, and I'm a virgin in his 20s because of it.
I'm always afraid to flirt or make sexual advances on women because
I'm afraid they might eventually see my small (uncircumcised) dick.
Now part of my smallness probably has to do with the fact that I'm
fat, but also I think I generally have problems with lack of
testosterone and generally I'm a pretty non-imposing guy, even for
my weight. If I weighed about 150 pounds less, I'd probably look
kinda feminine or wussy. I often wish that I were more manly, and
constantly feel insecure because I often see people with more
manly/aggressive tendancies that I don't seem to have as much.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am good friends with Girlmecha and think she's a sweet person.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think I want to have sex with Fiona Bruce, the BBC News At 10 anchor lady.
Come to think of it, I want to have sex with everything these days

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love everything anthropomorphic. I love furry porn, I love non-erotic furry pics, and I loved the original Robin Hood and Friends movie from Disney. I completely suck at art, and have been secretly trying to get better all for the sole purpose of being able to draw anthropomorphic creatures. I\'m actually getting pretty good, though I\'ve had to hide my practice sketches.

By the way, I really like furry art.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was leaving my parking garage once and I took the corner a little tight pulling out onto the road. In doing so, I messed up the entire side of my car on someone's bumper that was sticking out too far. I told the insurance company that it was a hit and run while I was parked and not in the car, and they paid for the whole thing to the tune of about $2000. I'm sorry I lied.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am 99% sure that I am the hottest ladygoon.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My confession isn't terrible compared to some others,
but I feel bad about it.

I really want this guy that my good friend is on the
verge of dating. I know they've had sex and she really
likes him. I met him and we completely clicked and
I've wanted him so badly ever since. I would go for
him except that I don't want to hurt my friend and
have her hate me.

That and,

I would let Tom Brady do absolutely anything he wanted
to me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've masturbated to Star trek TNG many times when Deanna Troi was the main person of the episode. I also stole my sisters Deanna Troi action figure and fondel it while masturbating. I was 18 at the time. i am still a virgin

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have Lowtax's aim screenname but I'm too wussy to IM him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I like to poop in my pants. I do it all the time and the only other person
who knows about it is a girl that I work with. It started with a dare from
her and sort of took off from there. Now we have conversations about it all
the time and she bought me a pack of adult diapers which are all gone now
from being used.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I would really like to have sex with the 9th grade girl whos picture was
posted in FYAD the other day. Oh god she was so hot.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My confession: I'm a female, and I'm undeniably obsessed with yaoi (gay anime sex). I actively roleplay my gay characters through MSN and AIM with some of my other female online friends.

I'm also an artist, and always draw yaoi and shounen-ai (mild yaoi).

I also draw furry characters, and have a number of gay furry characters, as well. I've never once had a female roleplaying character, ever, and I've been roleplaying for 12 years.

I also find the girly anime boys more sexy than real guys.

My long term boyfriend of two years knows all this and doesn't have a problem with it at all.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I guess I have a confession.

I'm 21, and my girlfriend's 15. Only a few people know about this, not
because I'm embarrassed of her but because I worry what other people will
think of me. I love her to death.. I know how fickle teens can be but she's
not like other teenagers. She's much more mature for her age. She's the
first girl that I haven't been first sexually attracted to. I love her
personality, she's a beautiful person... I love her more than I have anyone
else.

Some might see this as wrong, but I see age as just a number. I think we're
honestly meant to be. I'm going to go live near her next year after school
gets out.

God that felt good to say to a board of 60,000 strangers

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a jew and I hate Israel. If my jewy relatives knew this, they would disown me, and I wouldn't give a poo poo. I want a GO PALESTINE pennant to secretly hang in my closet.

Thanks for all the copying & pasting.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I masturbate two or three times a day, some times more depending on if
I don't have company. When I masturbate, I do not use lube, nor do I
use tissues to clean up. I simply lap the semen up and then wipe the
residue on my jeans.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have just remembered that ages ago I was on Furcadia doing my best
to piss people off and bumped into this other person called Tigham
Goldlin... he/she was about 10 times funnier than I was at duping folk
into thinking we were bodyguards securing an area for the President,
who had an account by the name of Stark Raving Naked. I am convinced
that this Tigham Goldlin is a goon but feel that starting a thread
about it is a bit too crap. ARE YOU THERE TIGHAM?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Well, I've had this on my chest for a long time. It is really hosed up and changed my life a good deal. Getting away with murder if you're a normal person isn't exactly a good thing, at least if you go to jail your conscience becomes somewhat clean. I've had this on me for a long time, and no doubt I'm going straight to hell. A day doesn't go by that the thought doesn't pop in my end, and ruin my entire day. Because of this I've become an alcoholic, and a cokehead because its the only way to get this off my head.

A few years back my girlfriend of three years was violently raped. When she came out of the hospital she was a broken person. She wasn't the same person, and commited suicide shortly after. I was so low that I had to do something, as the only person that meant anything to me was taken. I did some of my own investigation and found out that it was a MDMA dealer. I remember this guy because he kept coming onto my girlfriend, while I was with her. After being rejected numerous times he left the party, this is when I got a call from my bestfriend who needed to be picked up because he was too drunk to drive home. After driving my friend home, I found that my girlfriend was shortly raped after I left the original household. I found out what I could about this guy without being suspicious. I had my friend who was a X addict call him and meet him in a bad part of town. My dumb friend forgot, but he was there by himself. There was nobody in sight, and while he was out in the open I shot him once in the head and killed him instantly, I drove off with no witnesses. Later in the newspaper there was an article, labeling the act gang violence over turf. The case went cold, and nobody ever found anything. While I had revenged my girlfriend, I felt like poo poo for taking someone else's life. So now, I sit before you always thinking of that one moment where I pulled the trigger. So while I may never get in trouble for it, I live in my own personal prison.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 21, and while I have made lots of good friends online through
various games, and even formed good relationships with women, some
willing to meet with me and become a couple, I can barely speak to
people I don't know in real life. Most of my friends either came and
talked to me, or are friends of a friend. The only girls I'm friends
with are my friends girlfriends. I don't think I'll ever get a
girlfriend unless someone else hooks me up, but I'm too embarrassed to
ask my friends to help me out. I feel like I'm not good enough for
the girls I do like, but I have kinda high standards myself.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Personally, while SA goons purport themselves to be the great, intelligent bastions of the internet, there's a large amount of loving artless idiots on the forums. Of course, there's a lot of great people on the forums, but there are some eltist shitheads, but there again are just plainly stupid loving morons on the forums.

There's more to being a goon than merely paying $10.

Yes, I realize this is hypocritical.

Further, I personally think that mods and admins can be hateful pieces of poo poo a lot of the time. The Leper's Colony is full of people who merely slipped up minorly, and they lost their $10 investment as a result. I agree with another anonymous poster that charging motherfucking $10 or whatnot to change custom titles is more or less a moneymaking scheme. I agree that it should cost that much to change someone ELSE\'S title, but why should you have to pay for a tiny avatar? I don't think it's that taxing on the bandwith.

Finally, I think Lowtax is a loving liar if the screenshots from that secret forum is correct. Plausible deniability is one thing, but straight-up lying is another. His shunning goon-run stuff like SALastread, gbs-tv and gbs-fm is just stuck-up and annoying.

Another thing: in every goddamn Lowtax thread there's pages and pages of asskissing. What is the loving POINT, people. Lowtax likely doesn't care; it's not even showing 'respect' on an internet forum at this point. It's a pointless, snivelling attempt to cull fame and notability on a loving internet forum. INTERNET.

I'm done.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My girlfriend is a goon and I have cheated on her
numerous times. I've lost count how many times in
fact. I also really want to break up with her I just
don't want to hurt her. She has no idea any of this
has happened and trusts me completely.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I found out the girl I was interested in was dating somebody I kept being her friend hoping they would break up. When we both moved from college to the same city we were close and I felt that it might have been close to happening. We would go out places for dinner when she was in for the weekend. She moved back to where her family and boyfriend live and we barely see each other. Unlike her other friends I was never a friend of his, I have never even met him. But I pieced together the information that she has told me about him in passing. I found the business website he runs and from there tried to find if he frequented any forums to see if he would say anything about cheating on her while she was on assignment or something like that. I even considered hiring a PI to check out his activities during the week. Now all I care about is being her friend and I’m afraid that I’m going to lose that because of him. It sounds pathetic, because it is, but talking with her was the highpoint of my day, and seeing her would make my entire week. I try and convince myself that our lack of communication is because of her being busy with work or some tough issues she has been facing, but I really think she just doesn’t even want to by my friend anymore.

I have occasionally written things about this relationship on other forums, and each time I want to give details and hope that one of them comes across it so she’ll know how I really feel and how much I care.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I dont know why you said the things that you did. They didnt hurt me in the way I think that you were hoping that they would. It was just proof to me that you really dont care, and probably never did. That you really were just using me the whole time. It fills me with an incredibly profound sadness that Ive never felt anything like before. I dont know if I can be your friend now, not in the way that you would like. If we need to talk Ill be friendly and cordial because I want to keep my side of the street clean, but the distance I will keep between us will be so great that you will probably never know this new person that I am becoming. I want you to know that there was a time when I truly loved you, when I was happy, and when I believed things were good. Its best for both of us that we go our separate ways now. You cant follow where Im going, and even if you could I know that you wouldnt want to. Im sorry for everything that happened. Ill miss you.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've completely fallen for a friend of mine and I'm too afraid to tell him.
As much as I like him, I know he could do way better than me. If he
expressed an interest in me I'd go out with him in a heartbeat, but I don't
think it'll ever happen.

I regularly sleep with men who are at least ten years older than me. I've
only slept with one guy who was close to my age or younger.

I took advantage of a drunk friend of mine while I was in school. I was
extremely attracted to him and a friend told me that he thought I was cute.
He came home from work totally smashed and I saw my opportunity. 5 hours
later I went back to my room bruised and bleeding. Up to that point in my
life, it was the best sex I'd had and an incredible emotional/physical
release. However, I felt insanely guilty about what I did because he had a
girlfriend who he loved very much, and basically stopped talking to him
after that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I find Leela from Futurama really hot and loved some of those pictures from the Badly Drawn thread (though not loving pumpkins, ). I've masturbated multiple times to cartoon porn from things like that. Disney characters can be really hot too.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I really like SA and would love to get to know some of the people around here better. I'm really afraid to message people though. The problem is that I'm a female. I've been a member at dozens of forums. Most are either predominately female or predominately male. I behave the same way at both types of forums. I flirt with girls are well as guys and generally just joke and have a good time.

The problem is that the second some rear end in a top hat finds out you're a female on a predominately male board they instantly make trouble for you. You're not allowed to make threads about anything remotely personal or you're attention whoring. You can't talk to members of the opposite sex or you're trying to e-date.

I still frequent alot of the forums that are equally mixed or predominately female but most of the predominately male forums I have left behind because it's just not worth the constant hassle. It's not that they hurt my feelings or anything. I just don't feel like putting up with people who try to go out of their way to poo poo up every thread you make or people who e-stalk you. I've had lots of people email me or message me and ask why I don't come around anymore and when I tell them they say it doesn't matter and to not let it bother me. It doesn't bother me. I just hate having to put up with the assholes that target any female within their range.

I don't have and never have had any interest with hooking up with guys online. I would just like to meet people with common interests and talk. For some reason in the eyes of some internet males this makes you a whore. They bitch about females getting attention for just being females but being female has gotten me way more negative attention than positive attention.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

-I have next to zero self-confidence and am slipping into depression. Since I have moved four times in eighteen years, I have never had any close friends, and feel incredibly awkward whenever talking to people and trying to make friends. Most of all, I wish I could get myself into a serious relationship. I so desperately wish to feel loved by another instead of admiring somebody else from afar. I would tell my parents about my problems, but because they are already having all sorts of issues with my older brother, I feel that me telling them would be an unnessecary and unfair strain upon them. I have suicidal thoughts all the time, but due to religion, I would never, ever consider carrying out suicide at all.

-I hate anybody that claims conservatives or christians are batshit insane. I'm willing to bet that there are just as many liberal pieces of poo poo as there are conservative pieces of poo poo. I'm not going to preach my beliefs to you, tell you that you are going to hell, and insist that you convert, so don't you go telling me that I should abandon my religion because you think I'm retarded for believing something that cannot be proven. Just because some retarded conservatives are making headlines (ie Bush, Westboro Baptist Church), it doesn't mean we're all as idiotic as them.

-I wish my alcoholic/drug-addict older brother would die. Why can't his smoking catch up with him? He brings my family such a great amount of pain due to his addictions and his being a piece of poo poo. He lives in my parents' house, isn't going to college or trying to make his life better in any way, and doesn't have to pay rent or anything. In return, he fucks up a family vacation by getting arrested, fills his room with a foot-high pile of garbage across the entire floor (I should steal his scanner), and acts like an rear end in a top hat to my parents all the time. He also crashes his car and complains when we offer to let him use ours, and then he scratches his cornea and brags about all the Oxycontin he got. Seeing him bring my parents pain brings me pain, and I cannot wait to watch him try and cope with the real world if he ever leaves the house. I only feel slight pangs of guilt when I wish him dead, but it usually goes away when he does more stupid poo poo.

-I hate Japanophiles. Maybe it is because my younger brother watches Evangelion a million times a day and practically creams his pants whenever another lovely Hayao Miyazaki movie comes out, but I seriously loving hate these people. You will NEVER be a ninja/samurai. You will NEVER make manga or anime that anybody but you will like. Your retarded Pokemon fanfics where Ash has a vagina and gets assraped by a charizard are NOT fine literature. Instead of wishing you were born Japanese, how about you try and improve your lovely quality of life so you can enjoy who you really are?

-The main motivating factor for me when trying to learn how to induce lucid dreams is so I can explore all sorts of sexual outlets that I'd be too timid to do so in real life. I feel incredibly ashamed that I want to be dressed up in little girls' clothing by a woman who then has her way with me, that I have pissed on myself in the bathtub to get aroused, and that the first thing I want to do in a lucid dream is turn myself into a woman with huge breasts and get nailed by a saint bernard. Please tell me that I am not absolutely hosed and that this poo poo stops after a while. I have no desire to have sex with an animal in real life, love being a man, am only attracted to women, do not look at pornography, and desire to keep my virginity until marraige.

-I would so loving buy a SA account if they accepted debit cards. I'm way too paranoid to get one because I don't want to get a credit card and my parents track every purchase they make with their cards. If they found out I so much as even LURKED on SA, I'd be in some deep poo poo. I desperately want to know what the big deal is with FYAD. I'm also quite paranoid that I'd be banned soon after.

I'm not sure if I should feel terible or feel good after writing all this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Wilkins is a really lovely administrator which wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't also a really shitter poster.

I don't think enough people are saying this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I’d rather slam my dick in a car door than spend 5 minutes with any of my in-laws so I pick fights with them to distance my wife and I from them. I’m quite good at it and not once has my wife taken their side.

Once my whore of a sister-in-law hopped out of her car behind us at the entrance of a park to mooch 5 dollars off my brother-in-law who was in the passenger seat. I pretended I didn’t see her and floored it, scaring the poo poo out of her. She was in no danger, but accused me of trying to run her over. I convinced everyone that I didn’t know she was there because I was getting my change from the person in the booth on my left. They took my side and she went home crying.

Another time I snared my other sister-in-law (a super-conservative fundie) into a political discussion and got her to say that god must have wanted Bush to win the election and that’s why he won. I managed to manipulate her into saying that all world leaders were chosen by god, because he’s infallible and all. Then by association I managed to get her to admit that must mean god chose Hitler and wanted all the casualties of WWII to happen. By this time she could see where I was going but was too stubborn to back out. She said yes, I got to pretend I was offended, called her a fascist and stormed out. That got me out of the next 8 months of family functions.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My (former now..) best friends wife (love of my life before she married) and I loved each other passionatly (hosed each others brains out) 3 years in a row during the last 3 years of their marriage, making everyone involved's life completely misserable. I waited for her to divorce, she for me to be able to support her and the childeren. we both couldn't. She found another man who can now. I miss her. opportunistic bitches, the both of us. I'm sorry for my former friend. He would be right to hit a baseball-bat in my throat as hard as he could. He's a nice fellow.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I frequently hide in the toilets at work and masturbate rather than work.
Although I'm pretty sure i'm not the only one whos ever done this
I've also bee challenged on it once and embarassed the manager who challenged me due to a "bowel problem" and almost got her fired after the Union Rep heard about it.
Although gently caress her, she was an old bitch.

Also when i was 16 i slept with my girlfriend, faked an orgasm then later whilst we were watching tv i went to the bathroom and just finished myself off after raiding her bathroom hamper and sniffing her underwear.

I\ve ejaculated into my own mouth.

I've stayed in a relationship for longer than i should because i was too much of a fuckign chicken to just end it and still occasionally enjoyed the sex and also she bought me things. Including an Acoustic Guitar, A new Printer and my SA Account.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have serious issues about penis size. Like, really serious. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of the unlucky dudes afflicted with micropenis. On my last obsessive measurement (this happens at least twice a month), I came up to a little over six inches. And although this is supposedly ABOVE average for the males of my country, I still often can't get off while jacking it because I spend so much time wondering if my tool is large enough to get the job done.

There's a reason for all of this. And it is not porn.

My Dad used to shower with me when I was like, eight. And even as a child, I can recall breaking "the rule" often enough to know that I got completely loving gyped in the genetics department. To make matters worse:

1. He walks around in briefs all the time. "We're all men here," he says. Yeah, eat poo poo.

2. His new wife has no qualms about letting the world know she's married a guy with a giant wang. Every loving card she's ever given him has some dick joke on the front. And...

3. she makes fucktons of noise when they fulfills her "marital duties", despite the fact that THERE IS NO loving DOOR ON THE MASTER BEDROOM. So I'm trying to sleep, all the while I'm hearing "OHYEAHFUCKMEWITHYOURHORSECOCK!!!"

That's right. I have penis envy. For my loving DAD.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I seriously cannot stand it when people start these off with "Forgive me father for I have sinned", for some reason it annoys the living poo poo out of me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I only recently joined SA, but for some reason I wish I knew more about and was more of a participant in the forum drama. Even though it seems like the sort of thing to end in a colossal clusterfuck, I'd enjoy being a part of it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I looked at a friend's chat logs while he was away, out of morbid curiosity, and found out a terrible secret. Now I have no way to apologize or clear my conscience of this, since he doesn't know that I know.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sex for me is seriously boring now. I'm a 19 year old guy in a relationship with a hot girl. Last year she started loving me with a strap on and the orgasms I have are unreal. Normal sex just isn't enough...

Seriously guys, you've gotta try it!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I called the FBI on wdma, after they banned me from there for drama. In fact, the FBI came to my house and I let them have all the cached data right before the site shut down, and gave them all the invitations I have recieved for the new sites... I can think of 3 at the top of my head, and there's one you have to pay for that I know for sure is going to be gone soon.

I'm not sorry.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

25/m/straight.

When I was 18 I was stoned and horny one night. I ended up in a gay chatroom and arranged a 3some with two guys who lived near.

I went over to their house and dropped X. Then they took turns spit roasting me. It was fantastic!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I actively sabotage my highschool girlfriend's impressions of other colleges in order for her to attend mine. I don't know what I'd do without her, and she's the best person I've ever met.

I feel really bad about this because I want her to attend mine, but I want her to have the illusion of choice.

The other colleges she wants to attend are at least a seven hour car ride from mine.

Tons more coming right now:

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



I have been up since around 10AM Sunday morning. The only breaks I took was to go to school to get the tuition taken care of, and to just eat dinner.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love my boyfriend, but I feel I deserve better. This is made worse by the fact that he's depressed - I feel like I can't leave him; what kind of shitbag leaves a depressed person?

He's always referencing his past, and recently he was talking about all the gifts he bought for his ex, who was abusive to him. I couldn't help but feel a bit angered over the fact that he doesn't do any of those things he did for her, for me. I also feel that he only did those things for her because she abused him and he was afraid of losing her.

I'm really unhappy and I can't talk to him about it. I am alone in this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A month or two ago, there was a thread about posting the first five links in your bookmarks. A lot of people had the file forums, but they hid them in various "clever" ways. This poo poo pissed me off so much. People who had registered literally days or in some cases hours before they were taken away were basically rubbing it in the faces of all the 05s that they could still share music and porn with other members, that they were members of some secret club and no one else was. This is bullshit.

I'm hoping that the mods find some way to inform the 05s of the file forums location and enable them to access it by the end of the year. Although most of the members are awesome, so many of the mods are fags who abuse their powers and if something like this isn't done, my faith in them will be gone. I mean seriously, after a couple months of semi-regular posting, I think it can be assumed that I didn't join just for da filez. The lack of trust infuriates me.

Oh yeah, spokkerjones was the best, gently caress the haters.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Hellsoap still has lurker accounts.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I semi-sincerely believe the world will end on December 22, 2012. I was born in 1983. A major change in my life occured in 1989. Another one in 1995. Another one in 2001 (not to mention 9/11.) It is very possible that another one will happen in 2007. This follows a six-year cycle. If this six-year cycle repeats then 2012 will be another "on" year. Many religions and scientists believe there will be some sort of cataclysmic event in 2012, and it's scary how that coincides with this six-year cycle that my life follows.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I like to watch people walk on the street below my apartment through my rifle scope. I don't load the gun, that's taking the fantasy a little too far.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Everyone in FYAD says that elf pr0n (or Marie) is fat. I don't think she is, in fact, I think she's kind of attractive. I saw her at Gooncon and she never talked to me, but I wish she would have. She'd be really hot if she just took off some of that makeup.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I killed a drunk driver. He had driven drunk the wrong way and killed the other driver (the father), the six year old daughter and the infant son. We were taking the drunk to the hospital in the ambulance, and I was alone in the back, and I killed him in such a way that no one would ever be able to tell that it wasn't injuries from the crash that killed him.

At the hospital when we were doing the paperwork the drunk's wife and son came in and I watched the cops tell the drunk's family he was dead. I felt like the avenging angel of death; it was loving great.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 17 and fell for a 14 year old girl who I met through my 14 year old cousin. I know it could never work out, because we're at totally different points in our lives (I'm just about to leave high school, she's just about to enter it). She also hates me because of some offhand comment I made about this dude who's kind of her mentor. She credits him for saving her life when she was about to commit suicide or something, and I said he was using his charm to woo her. Then she turned that around on me and said I was trying to get in her pants. That was never the case. Sure I was attracted to her, but I just loved being around her.

I still hold out hope that we'll get together when I'm 21 and she's 18, but I know it'll never happen.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Once when I was four years, I accidently killed two baby ducks. I have committed an act that will cause me to face the SA Firing Squad.

To this day I regret that event. I just promise when I see someone trying to hurt or kill baby ducks, I WILL gently caress up that person.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Even though I think it's a crime worse than murder, I get off on tv-shows, movies, stories, and porn with surprise sex scenes and scenes of forced sex by blackmail. The more realistic the better. I'm a girl.

I know I'll never be able to be faithful to one guy, and I don't feel bad about it.

I loathe babies, and every time I hear one cry on the bus or somewhere where I can't escape, I wish I could kill it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have fond memories of my years in boarding high school where I hosed many, many different guys in all my teacher's classrooms, in the dorms, the cafeteria, all over the school grounds and in the nurse's office.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a completely distorted self-image. When I gain 2 or 3 pounds I torture myself and work out until I have lost those pounds and probably a few more. When I look in the mirror I feel like a disgusting piece of poo poo but a kid who I went to high school with saw me at the gym and later asked a mutual friend if I was anorexic. When the mutual friend told me this i took it as a complement and then ate chinese food, which only left me feeling guilty for the rest of the day.

I only like men who are complete assholes. This is because I like the drama, and if I already know for sure that they are jerks it's not as much of a letdown when they gently caress me over in some way or the other. A number of nice, honest, good looking men pursue me but I don't give them the time of day because I can't deal with a real emotional relationship.

In high school I was so mean to poeple that I'm certain that I scarred them forever. I still have nightmares about finding them so I can apologise and they are better looking and more successful than me and then they murder me and there is a newspaper article about how I deserved it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was a lurker, I noticed a guy in my class looking at SA on his laptop. I wanted to say something about it, but didn't since I thought I would seem like a fag since I only lurked.

When I got an account, I was going to say something, but then I was afraid he would think I had registered just to make him like me as if I had some gay chrush on him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have been a police officer for 4 years. I have shot 3 people, and killed 2, and that was the most enjoyable part of my job. Every time I get dispatched to a robbery or fight I hope the guy has a gun so I can shoot him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

On more than one occasion, I've dumped a guy for having a small dick.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I incessantly clean underneath my penis. I've been to two therapists and I do not have OCD or any other disorder besides ADD. I can stop it if I want to but since it doesn't hurt me I absolutely must do it every day at least 15 times before I leave for work and about 60 times during the course of the day.

I don't get a lot of work done and this pretty much robs me of all my hobby time.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Daniel Radcliffe (yes, Harry Potter) is the most attractive person on the planet. Period.

I say this as an almost 20 year old male. D:
I'm glad I'm not the only 20 year old male who completely agrees with this statement.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a recently registered goon who hasn't really posted much of worth. I've been kinda holding myself back because I'm afraid of getting probation or even banned, or facing the sanctions of the SA community for posting something considered lame. However, after seeing some of the shittier posters (i.e. Slybo) repeatedly add nothing of value to a thread, I've decided to stop censoring myself and just go loving nuts. Whenever I see someone say something retarded, like, I dunno, talking about that lovely photoshop in their profile, I'm gonna call them on it repeatedly. I'm going to start posting the first thing that comes to mind after reading a thread, in the hope that it will be accepted. Even if I do get punished by the mods, at least I contributed something.

Also, as a fellow 05, I gotta say that jbltk is one of the best, if not the best, new goons, and the majority of his (her?) posts rock. Keep on rocking in the free world, jbltk! You're the anti-Slybo!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

One time I put a rubber band around my nuts, you know, just to see what would happen. I got to the last loop and it was way tighter than I thought.

Nobody was in the house and I couldn't leave my hands from my balls to open the door so I just screamed for 5 straight hours until I passed out.

When I woke up the rubber band was gone and nobody wanted to talk about it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My first kiss was in 5th grade. With a 2nd grader. I dont know how bad I should feel about that, someone please reply to this one.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a through and through racist, sexist and anti-semite. I can almost never achieve orgasm unless it involves fantasies of or actually humiliating, hurting and otherwise abusing women, all of whom I hate and feel should be locked to the kitchen via ankle chains, serving men like the submissive little cunts they all pretend so hard not to be. Just look at the confessions on this page. Women want to be raped and hurt so they can cry to daddy and feel protected.

Sometimes my friends will bring clueless girls to my house, and they'll be terrified of all the nationalist flags that line my room and all the weapons. I don't do anything to them and eventually kick them out, but nothing gets my rocks going like seeing some scared little bitch thinking she's caught in some American History X nightmare world.

The best part about it all is that people I meet both in real life and on the internet eventually become corrupted just by associating with me. I watch with hedonistic pleasure as all of my depraved moral qualities rub off on them, and they slowly let themselves be brainfucked by me until they're racists, sexists and perverts as well. I corrupt every weakling I can come in contact with, it's a game to me. A mission. I hunt out directionless people both online and abroad, and I establish myself as the direction in their lives, until they worship me.

I know I'm severely hosed up. I know why I'm hosed up, I've studied enough psychology to determine why I am the way I am today. My parents molested me, my mother was an overbearing stinkyhole who turned me into a sociopath, my father a drug addict who shot up in front of me and several times broke into the house in attempts to kill my mother since he coulden't have her for himself.

I don't really care about any of it. It's built me into who I am today, and today I feel as if I coulden't possibly be any stronger. I would endure every last moment of my hellish childhood a thousand times over, rather than be anyone different than who I am today! I take what I want through mental domination, I am god in my own right. I am never depressed, and I never doubt myself. I am successful in life and I am surrounded by malleable friends who are only there because I see they can serve a purpose to further my goals and ambitions. When that purpose runs out, so does their time with me.

The best part of all is that noone around me can see any of this. They are completely blind. They give me unwavering trust, and I put on my masks and press the right buttons for them. I've become so good at it from playing this game for so long that I can derive almost every hotbutton I need to press to dominate someone after a simple ten minutes of conversation. I tailor my personality to perfectly fit their own and draw them in.

I am immaculate in social situations and don't have to even try when it comes to drawing people in. They come to me. They can sense my self-assuredness, my power, and I am sure somewhere on the subconscious they come to me because they desire it for themselves as well.

I have had victims tell me they were loyal to me until death. Anyone who doesn't pledge that to me doesn't get close enough to be worthwhile to me anyhow. I have never had to commit a crime, simply because I have others who will do it for me. I am surrounded by loyalists. I don't even have to go to the store for myself anymore.

Let of all of this be a lesson to those of you who cry like weaklings about your terrible childhoods. Use it to empower yourself, not to hold you back. You are capable of anything if you can harness it. You'll all say you think this confession was horrible, but I know all too well that plenty of you will love it and want it for yourselves. Take it for yourselves. But be patient, do not get caught, work at all times beneath the radar. It is a game of law and discipline, not actions born in anger. If you act with precision, patience and determination, noone can stop you.

I have never spoken my true intentions or ideology before, and have never been caught or figured out until it was far too late. I've never done anything illegal by my own hands, or left a trail. I am protected by the very laws that you think keep you safe from people like myself.

This is my villain's expose. I am evil incarnate. And I love every moment of it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A friend wanted to talk to a girl, I went along with him to help him out. He was doing allright with her, and I got stuck talking to her black friend. She was really nice, had a lot in common with me, and attractive. She obviously liked me and we were flirting. I made no move to start a relationship with her and stopped hanging out with them just because she was black.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In elementary school I would masturbate to hot pictures in comic books. I made elaborate fantasies about what I would do in the Marvel universe, but I became intensely worried about the telepaths knowing I had masturbated to them.

I moved out of this when I got real porn and don't like hentai fanfiction or anything.
I'm more amazed you were able to masturbate at such a young age, maybe I'm a late bloomer?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I eavesdrop on any conversation within earshot. Not even intentionally really, it just happens. I can be on a bus full of people having conversations and I hear most of everything said around me, and I end up listening pretty close. Most of it is just inane, everyday conversation, but every now and then I'll hear something really interesting. People don't think anybody is listening when they are chatting on their cellphone on a noisy bus, but I am. Rest assured, chubby girl on the bus, that I DID hear about your lesbian experiences, and you are disgusting.

My gf of 2 years or so dumped me, saying I was too nerdy (in far more polite wording, but thats what it amounted to). She dumped me to date a guy who she had been cheating on me with as I later found out. Not to mention this guy was far nerdier than I was, so I was pretty loving pissed off and confused. This girl had created her email account at my house, so I knew the password, and decided to read her email. Turns out she was cheating on him too, using friend finder type sites to gently caress random guys. I anonymously inform her boyfriend of this little discovery, then in the middle of the next night I went and let the air out of her tires and smeared dog poo poo all over the door handles. I also noticed she used the same password for email, AIM, forums, everything, so I changed all of the passwords as well. She blames the bf, I get away scot free.

I play on a pvp server in world of warcraft. I'll run by low level players on the opposing faction and wave at them, sometimes I'll help them kill some mobs with my 60 mage. I then run off and hide behind a hill somewhere and wait a couple minutes then come back and kill them since their guard is now down and they think I'm friendly. I laugh every time I do this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to cut myself. Blatant attention whoring and trying to impress the hot older girls who cut themselves at first, but then I got addicted. I'd run into the bathroom at school or work to do it, always on a part of my body that would be covered. I even did it at a long red light.

I stopped awhile back when I realized how retarded it was.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love women. Love them. But for some reason, I've always wanted to go down on a guy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned...

I solict the Craigslist "Casual Encounters" area of San Francisco for horny women. I send them a fake picture of some stud, and then they send me back their pictures. The worst part is, I don't even live in San Francisco, but that city gets the most traffic.

A lot of time when I'm in my room by myself, I stand in my mirror with the music on, and play the air guitar and sing. I like to envision myself as a rock star, since I have almost no musical talent.

I love to gently caress with people on Counter-Strike who use the mic. They sound so fat and upset whenever I team kill them.

I still have feelings for my ex-girlfriend, even though I've dated since her. She has a boyfriend now, and although I hate people who meddle in relationships, I wouldn't be opposed to doing it if I could get her back.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love spanking girls. I am a dom/sadist and I get totally aroused by having control over them. Problem is, I can never just come out and say something like that, I have to always be quiet about it.

One time this girl and I got drunk and I didn't even know she was into it, but I totally made her submit which I think was pretty wrong but she kept asking me to bite her nipples so hard I thought I was going to rip them off. For years, I always thought about her in the back of my mind.

I wish I could find a girl/group of girls who are into what I'm into. I love it, I love spanking, I only jerk off to spanking videos, I am a spanko. If someone out there knows how to help, let me know!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am absolutely certain that I am the only real entity in existence.

Pimpsolo fucked around with this message at Aug 23, 2005 around 02:26

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think one of the funniest threads in SA was when Lowtax released his CD. I was reading the thread responses out loud to my girlfriend and we had a good laugh at everyone who was calling Lowtax a genius for his creative and inspired work when we thought it was something any 14 year old with Frooty Loops could come up with.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in HS I was best friends with the star athlete and one day we were out horsing around and climbing trees and poo poo. Well when he was out on this one limb I shook it on purpose and he fell and broke his leg. Pretty much ruined his chances at being athletic ever again.

I couldn't help it I was just loving jealous of him I just snapped. I feel really bad about it now too because that little incident ended up costing him everything and he wasn't even mad at me even though I think he knows I did it on purpose.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Oh, by the way (this is "The Only in Existance")-

All the confessions have to do with killing hobos, punching babies, burning down houses and throwing cats off a boat. But the one confession goons don't admit is being an anime fan. Hell, I've seen furries and arsonists here, but by gum if those animu fags ain't on our forums! Hurr!

Not all anime fans are pedophile retards, jackasses.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have an overwhelming fetish for sweaty girls. Girls that haven't showered for a few days, you know. I haven't plucked up the courage to ask my girlfriend to act this out for me, but I really want to cos it'd be super-hot. Whenever I get a chance to smell a cute girl's dirty clothes, I do, in the hope that it'll stink a little.

I also genuinely enjoy making GBS threads.

I feel incredible shame for constantly scoping out other girls, even though my girlfriend is not only hotter than 95% of the girls I see, she's also the nicest person ever. I still can't help checking other girls out, even though there's no way I'd act on anything.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm the guy that posted about having sex with his younger sister and you asked if she is hot.

She has grown into a very attractive young lady. I'm not ashamed to admit (well, in comparison to what I've already admitted to) that I sometimes think about her in a way that I really shouldn't. It's hard not to, since I've always thought it was a big deal and I can't keep it out of my mind all the time.

I would post a picture of her (fully clothed you perverts) but I don't know of any way to do it without remaining anonymous.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am female and have been in a relationship with an absolutely wonderful guy for over a year. He's got his faults (as we all do), but he's very good to me and I think I'd like to marry him one day. The trouble is this: We almost never have sex. I'm a very horny person, and sex is on my mind in some form or another almost all the time. One would never guess that, though, because I am EXTREMELY sexually repressed. I can't act on my urges, no matter how much I'd like to. As a few others have mentioned, I'd love for my boyfriend to be extremely dominant--I want him to do things like slam me up against a wall and gently caress me raw, shove his chock down my throat, and call me all sorts of cruel, demeaning names--but that's just not the kind of guy he is. He has told me that he has trouble being interested in sex with girls who aren't at least a little aggressive at least some of the time (or "enthusiastic," as he puts it), and I have chosen not to tell him that I have trouble being interested in sex with guys who don't treat me like a dirty whore because I have determined, based on his statement to me and his general demeanor, that he would be neither willing nor able to act in such a way. I'm very interested in him in general, though, and aside from this complication our relationship is very good. We're both very comfortable and very in love--I think our willingness to stay together in spite of the extreme dearth of sex is a testament to those things. I know that he's not getting his rocks off with anyone else, either, because he's with me all the time aside from his time at work. His work hours would be his only chance to cheat, and I am friends with one of his co-workers and I'm sure said friend would let me know if there were any funny business going on. I hope that he and I are able to find a way to reach a middle ground on this, because I want our relationship to work. I just wish I knew what to do. :-(

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was much younger, I had one friend left in my neighborhood. Because I only had one friend I basically did whatever she wanted to do. For 'fun' we found a cat and tied a rope around it's necked pulled and pulled. Then it ran away under someone's trailer, we chased it, took the rope off and went inside. I know this is horrible, she had 3 kittens at the time and I still don't understand why she thought it'd be fun.
I would also be a lookout for her when she wanted to throw a kitten at her moving ceiling fan.
She tried to play doctor with me by having me take off my pants and poking at my privates with play tools.
She also thought it was fun to get her two younger twin brothers to strip down and run around the house naked. She'd play with their penises and make them pee on things. When her mom came home she'd cry and scream and make me do it too saying that it was all her brothers and they wouldn't listen to us. Her mom was abusive and would knock the poo poo out of all of them.
She also thought it'd be fun to make rumors about a boy who moved into the neighborhood and a couple boys who moved in next door. She told me that the boys sexually molested the other boy down the street. I never knew whether or not it was true, but I do remember sharing it with the boy's crush just two years ago, as revenge.

Everything I did with this "friend" I haven't shared with anybody until now. It's a shame I was so young and didn't understand. I doubt I'll ever forget what happened those days and I hope to god she's getting what she deserves.
It probably didn't help her mother was insane and abusive, so maybe I shouldn't exactly blame her.
Sorry this is so long.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I had an affair with a married man when I was 20 years old.

He had a three year old son and sometimes we would have sex at his house while his wife was at work and the kid was taking a nap.

Still not shocked yet?

He was my cousin. We thought we were in love for awhile, but later came to our senses when we realized what an awful mess it would be. Can you imagine telling your wife you were leaving her and your child to be with your cousin?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Confession: I bet my best friend's sister that I could tell her every card she held in her hand, suit and value, all five. I said if I could she had to give me a blowjob and spend the night butt naked. If I got just one wrong I told her I'd give her all the money in my wallet (around $400). I won and she gave me the best head of my life. I never told her it was a marked deck

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

As a little girl my best friend *Ashley lived a few houses down from me and we were inseperable. She had another little girl, about 3 or 4 move in next door, we were around 8 and 6 I think. Well, many years later I realized that 3-4 year old was mentally retarded. We knew there was something wrong with her and couldn't stand it. We would pretend to be her friend and have her come over to my Ashley's house to 'play'. Some of the things we'd make her do was eat wet sand or dry sand. Those little berries that grew on weed bush things out side ashley's house. We'd break her toys. We did a lot of things to that poor girl that I have been able to forget for the most part.
I don't really understand why we did it. And I wish every day that I didn't partake in it. Nobody deserves that treatment.
Luckily, the parents caught on and moved away. Thank god they did, I don't know what else we would've done to her.

A few months later another little girl moved in on the otherside. I know that we destroyed a lot of her toys and basically terrorized that household and I remember her parents coming to my house many times.

I did make more friends eventually and they were 3 sisters. They were all loving insane. The middle one tried to beat me with a clarinet. The youngest attacked me on multiple occasions with a large stick and ripped out my hair. Over what? me telling the middle sister to shut up and pickign up the younger sister's rubber ball.
The oldest tried to kill herself.
I found out that their mother was also abusive. I\'d tell my parents lies about what the girls did so they would complain to the girls' mom and she'd beat them. I don't understand the enjoyment I got out of that but I did it a lot.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a pedophile. I denied it for so long, but I finally had to admit it when I had to concentrate on acting normal during a conversation with a ten year old boy. I've done nothing, never intend to do anything, and am considering joining the anti-NAMBLA organization, PACM. (Pedophiles Against Child Molestation) I'm not exclusively attracted to children, but it inspires a lot of inner turmoil and self-loathing when I'm having a normal day, and then have to watch everything from the way I hold myself to the movement of my eyes every time a nine-year old catholic schoolgirl wanders past in a store. Sure, goons, you think that a pedophile is automatically a horrible person for the most part, but I try my damndest to live normally. There's a difference between a pedophile and a child molestor, and I will NEVER be the latter.

Also, Shakespeare was a lovely writer.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am still searching for "the one who got away" Her name is Jenny and she was 16 and I was 17 and it was heaven. Unfortunately, I was already dating someone at the time and so I had to let Jenny go. Over the years, I realized that this was the completely wrong thing to have done and I should have dumped my ex and stayed with Jenny, but alas. Last time I called her friend, she said that Jenny had gotten married and moved to CA. I don't know if that's true or not and every place I can think of to look for people online, I've looked for her but I've never found her again. I really think she's gone from my life for good, but there will always be a part of me that knows I'll run into her one day on this crazy small blue marble.
I think you start a shrimping company and name all of your boats after her, hit it rich, and then wait for her to arive in your home town of Greenbow, Alabama.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Much like I hate our president but love our country, I hate Lowtax but love SA.

Lowtax banned me once for making a joke thread in FYAD. There was no rule or condition I was breaking, and it was FYAD. He just wanted to take my ten bucks so he banned me. That is theft, plain and simple. I emailed him and he never wrote back. What a spineless poo poo.

Tons of people get ripped off on accounts banned for no reason, services taken away, and undelivered merchandise, but they are afraid to voice their concerns about it because they know they'll be banned and be out another $10.

The front page is very repetative and stopped being funny years ago. ICQ pranks aren't funny, chat logs aren't funny, and making fun of (insert oddball scene here) isn't funny.

Lowtax is able to make a living off this place for two reasons:

1) In spite of his bullshit, there are enough people who post awesome content on here to make it worth $10.

2) He is able to completely regulate and remove any and all bad press about him and his shady dealings. If the front page was littered with "it's been three months and I don't have my merchandise", it would come to a head pretty quick.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm an rear end in a top hat online, but I don't mean to be. You see, I wind up making a group of great friends that I chat with daily, then one day I wake up and BAM, I don't want to talk to one of them anymore. Then slowly it's another and another and another, for no reason, and I don't, I ignore them on AIM or something.

I do this with message boards too, become a top respected poster on a board, then get tired with it and quit.

I think I have ADD

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

There were atleast 3 occasions where I could've been murdered.
The first time I broke into an old man's house with 2 friends and hid in a closet. There was a loaded gun in there. There was rumors he'd shoot kids that went near his home or car.
The second time, a friend of mine was sort of kidnapped. Basically, she was at a friend's house. But that friend's family was totally insane and wouldn't let her leave. Her mom called the police and all I did was ride my bike by the house and the crazy mom stuck her loving shotgun out the window and demanded I get off her property when I was on the road. She cocked it too...
The third time I ran down to the creek by my house to get my brother for dinner. He was with some friends. I was 5. The oldest boy there picked me up and swung me over the creek counting down to 1 from 3. I didn't know how to swim and two boys already died in there. My brother didn't help me until the boy about let go.
Nobody knows about those first two. I just wonder what could've happened if I\'d stuck around in those situations.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've wanted to gently caress my hot 19 year old cousin for the longest time. I've even gone as far as to try to put a hidden camera in her room.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I feel no pity whatsoever for these people that want to commit suicide, and the people that patronize them with their "awww poor guy" comments are dipshits too.

Seriously, people that contemplate suicide are too drat weak to handle the pressure of the real world, they want to die over stupid poo poo like "ohh I can't get a girlfriend" and "wahhhh I'm fat" or something they can usually change if they want. Even if it's not something like that, suck it up and stop being such a pussy.

If you want to die that badly, please, be my loving guest and do it. I'd particularly love to get rid of everyone that wants to die, one less whiny emp bastard on the face of this lovely lovely planet.

Life is great, and if you can't see that, than just off yourself and be done with it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I play in and lead a band. The band has at least a dozen guys who will
be the next generation of world-famous incredible talented and unique
musicians. I, on the other hand, have little to no talent compared to
them. I have the least amount of technique and style, and I rarely
even do my own job in the band well. I only got in cause the previous
guy in my spot recommended me to the guy who runs the band, and to
this day I'm not sure why. There are other guys around who can do my
job MUCH better, but I got the job.

Everytime I play with them, I'm overwhelmed by the maturity and taste
in that band, and some of my favorite players I know are there and I
love to listen to them. But I feel really guilty knowing that they all
spent years practicing and working hard, and I've only played a couple
of years and got in by luck or something. I feel like a total fraud.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm one of the girls who admitted to having a crush on a goon. I
should like to supplement that I check his profile for posts every
time I read the forums.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Nearly all of my close female friends are girlfriends or
ex-girlfriends of my friends. For some reason I have this
soul-crushing shyness when I meet a female who may or may not be
available because I see them as a potential girlfriend. I guess I lose
that shyness when I know they're attached and I have no shot.

I once got hit on by a marginally attractive girl at a bar. It was the
first time that ever happened and I had no idea how to react so I just
blushed, said thanks, and walked away. That night I cried to myself in
bed for being so loving pathetic.

I've only had one real girlfriend my entire life and we only got to
second base.

I'm one of the youngest people at where I work and everyone at the
office thinks I'm a totally cool person who's easy to talk to and
wonders why I don't have a girlfriend. I just tell them that "I guess
my standards are too high..."

In late high school/early college I had some incredibly close
relationships with females over the internet. I've always wondered why
I had such success, and I thought maybe it was just because I was more
bold and confident when using IRC or an AIM window. Later I realized
that it was probably just because they weighed four hundred pounds,
and it saddened me greatly.

There is nothing that fills me with more envy than seeing a female who
likes video games as much as I do and then finding out that she has a
boyfriend.

I recently met a female goon at a meet who is incredibly cute and
seems totally cool and doesn't live too far away, but I honestly have
no clue how I would go about trying to proceed. She probably isn't
interested anyway.

Sex is great and all but cuddling is where it's at. Yeah, I said it.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a 17 year old straight male with a long-term girlfriend.

I often pose as a submissive 16/17 year old female on AIM and get dominitive guys to cyber with me (not S&M kinda stuff, like Max Hardcore kinda stuff). When the guys ask for picture of 'me' I use bikini pictures that I took of a ~15 year old classmate (it passes at 16/17) at a school beach party in 9th grade. I never think about the guys, I just think about the girl I'm pretending to be.

A few years ago (when I was 13/14 actually) I would pose as a 12/13 year old girl from Holland on AIM who's dad hosed her. I don't do this anymore, it's not appealing to me at all.

I really want to piss on my girlfriends face and/or in her rear end in a top hat. I'm trying to find a way to break this to her (she likes anal sex so hey).

A summer or two ago a male classmate of mine and I would constantly share hardcore (anal, piss, max hardcore style) porn over AIM. We talked a little bit about bisexuality and stuff. One day he told me he wanted me to watch him jack off on camera and I accepted. I watched him a couple times and eventually he told me he wanted me to 'tell him what to do' and he'd do it on cam. I told him all kinds of crap to do, including pissing in a cup and drinking it. It apparently really turned him on and he wanted to hook up. We both had girlfriend and we eventually decided not to. Since then I've lost basically all of my 'bisexual' thoughts and the thought of this completely disgusts me. We're still friends and never ever mention that summer.

This post has made me hard and now I'm jerking off.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

From the age of 5 to the age of 17 I shat my pants everyday. Looking
back on it now I know that I just did it for the attention that it
garnished from my parents. I considered making a thread about it but
their's not much more then that. Also alot of people I know read the
forums and noone really knows about this except my parents

Around the age of 17 I just stopped. no therapy or anything. I decided
it was having a decidedly negitive affect on my social-life, And
because I ways always the "smelly kid" growing up I'm kind of
acustomed to being the outcast loner person.

I've been clean for 5 years now(lol). I'm trying to be normal. but
It's hard. Im terrified of people. I guess I'll always just be the
smelly outcasted kid inside.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

send me to hell father for I continue to sin:
I have never hosed anyone over the age of 18. I don't like children, just sexually mature teenagers. I'm mid 20s. I am a felon because of one of my relationships. I still continue to this day date nothing but highschoolers. My current gf is 15. but since I am not one bit remorseful for my "wrongdoing," it must make it worse.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes I go to hotornot.com and give fat/ugly girls a 10, and give the pretty, stupid-looking ones a 1. This is my way of righting the wrongs of the world, even though I think to myself, "what a fat, ugly toboggan of blubber" as I try to give them some confidence.

In highschool I would write Jack Handy's "Deep Thoughts" and claim them as my own..because Im a retard, and being funny was the only way for me to make friends, and I wasn't very funny.

FYAD is the lamest group of elitists in all of human history. A chimpanzee with the biggest collection of shiny rocks is a cooler and less pathetic elitist than FYAD fluffers
I strictly only rate girls the way you do by the way. Once when I put myself on hot or not, and saw the few 10's, I knew they were pity 10's though. It's rough.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 5 or 6 my friend made me give him oral. I never told anyone.

I skipped school alot on elementary school and would wait for my
parents to leave after droppping me off and walk home. I did this alot
all the way until I finished highschool.

One day in middleschool (when one of my parents had off and I couldn't
walk home) I wandered around the parking lot. I hosed up some random
guy's sports car pretty good by kicking it and throwing rocks at it. I
felt bad after but never heard of anyone complaining about it.

At my last job I stole candy all the time. though It wasn't a big
secret. I didn't feel bad either because my boss was a jerk.

I'm still Inlove with my exgirlfriend . I act normal around all my
friends and family but im very depressed. I cry almost everynight and
it's making it hard to sleep. I wish I could just get over her.

I think poster 666 is cool but I'm affraid to PM him or anything
because I know he wouldn't like me. "it's just chocolate find a new
bar" makes it easier to sleep sometimes.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am secretly crushing on sa goon reporebo. I do searches for her posts and even tracked down where she lives. I have a picture of her that she posted once on my desktop. Don't be scared, reporebo, we have nothing in common and I'd never try and contact you, but please post more pictures!!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I play Counter-Strike, Natural Selection, Battlefield, or any
MMORPG I don't like to let many people know I am a girl; once it gets
out, they get distracted from the game and start acting stupid. It
ruins the fun for me. I've had entire clan matches fall apart because
some moron tell someone that I'm a girl... then you know the rest.
Some guys refuse to believe I'm a girl because I kick their asses in
PVP or something equally stupid. I made the mistake of posting my
senior picture in a "post your pic thread" on a CS:S forum. I figured
since there were a few other girls that posted (ok, just 2, and well,
they didn't really play CS dammit!) that It wouldn't be such a big
deal... but ever since I haven't been able to join that server.

I realy wish male gamers would grow up and accept the fact that there
are, in fact, girls that play PC games that aren't goth, fat, or
covered in acne.

I have changed my AIM screen name about 3 times, and my XFire screen
name as well to get away from stalkers.

I got a Something Awful account just to see if there were any hot guys
on SomethingAwful, not that I'm shallow, but who doesn't enjoy seeing
hotties? It's a great change from the redneck overweight sunburnt
buzzcut blonde guys that live here.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I ... I realise the irony. But I'm not cool enough to be a nerd.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 10, I went to my grandparents house and brought my dog with me. Being bored, I decided to take her for a walk. She seemed like she had to go to the bathroom, but I knew that my Grandpa hated it when animals dropped their contents on his front lawn. Therefore, I went to the house of my then best friend and let my dog take a large dump on her fathers lawn. Later in the day, the father confronted me and asked if my dog had gone to the batroom on his lawn. I vehemently denied the accusation, and he had to borrow a pooper scooper from my Grandpa and dispose of it himself.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Pimpsolo wrote: I just want to tell you man, out of my own experience, don't do it. I know what you're thinking but unless you're close enough to where youre POSITIVE she wont freak out, don't do it.

Thanks for the advice man, but at this point it's reciprocacy. She's already told me she's in love with me. I actually just wanted to add some lightheartedness to the thread.
Oh that's awesome then. Your life is awesome. I hate my life.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Hi there,

While I haven't really sinned or done anything bad, I feel this is my chance to confess that I am indeed maybe more than normal
paranoid.

I believe that that I am the "star" of some bizarre reality show. Sometimes I get the feeling that dozens of nano cameras are watching my every step, everything I do, recording all my actions, my thoughts.. I don't know who the people watching me are or where they are from. It could be some alien nation with advanced technology or some future civilization with nano technology and time travel. Or maybe it's not 2005 but 3005 and everything's a big simulation of 2005 with cameras everywhere. The people around me wouldn't be aware that they are computer contructs.

I tell myself that I am not important enough and that the world is too vast to be a setup, but maybe that's what they want me to think, kinda like The Truman Show but on a big scale. People went out of the cinema saying "yeah it's a good movie, but I doubt it could happen to me". What if they made that movie as a sort of double setup. Hay guys if we show them that their world might be a fake in a movie they'd never think it actually might be.

Maybe I live in some sort of recording or simulation of some of civilization hundreds of years ago, played back to me. Maybe there's dozens of people in my position, all on "Alien TV" and everything that I know is some sort of elaborate hoax setup by this Alien nation, including my friends and parents.

Most of the time I can tell myself that it seems very unlikely, because there is so much diversity in the world (music, art, evolution etc.) and I bet some people lead more interesting lives than mine so why pick me?. That and if I really was the star of some freak alien soap, I'd imagine that my life would be more interesting than it is now, but maybe that's what they want me to think? Can they read my mind? I don't know... Paranoia eh? It's either that, or that everyone is out to get me. I KNOW YOU ARE READING MY MIND. OH GOD. But I know it's a real deal braker when I think about while I try to jerk off... Millions of people watching, y'know all that pressure. Oh gently caress I hope they censor those moments. But think about it...

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I told my ex-girlfriend I loved her on the second date. So far she's the only girlfriend I've had. I guess it was because not once in my life had I ever kissed a girl and got cuddly and held hands, etc. For some reason this didn't turn her away from me. We only went out for two months though, because outside of fooling around in my room and vigorously making out, we didn't get along real well.

Edit: I also PM'd this on accident cause I can't read threads.
I hold the key to your anonymity, this feeling of power is overwhelming.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

I watched a video of a man being taken up the rear end by a particularly well-hung horse, who at the end of the tape spewed out a gallon of semen on the floor, and apparently turned a man's colon inside out.

I did this not of my own free will, but rather for a free pack of Magic Cards, which I later declined out of guilt.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I sometimes shave my pubes and the hair on my rear end and near my
butthole. Instead of using my own razor though, I pick up my sister's
and use it. Its my secret revenge.

One time my friend and I also went into this house that was having
construction work done in it and completely hosed it up inside. We
smashed some glass furniture, messed with all the power tools and took
this giant ring of keys and threw it into this huge hole fthat we had
dumped a barrel of this bright orange grosse liquid into. I still
feel bad about that day.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a complete disinterest in sex. I masturbate alot and like
teasing but the actual doing sex thing Isn't all that fun or
interesting. I like nothing more then to just hold onto someone and
feel accepted. But my lack of interest in sex has ended more then it's
fair share of my relationships.

The clincher is I'm a guy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 15 and I collect toys and models. Not just the occasional "oh that looks cool", but I mean a real diehard. My room is basically filled with them. But I don't play with them, I just collect them as a hobby; and I display them. Anyway, I heard that the main character in the movie "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" also collects figures. And the problem is I don't see my hobby as merely an age-wise thing; I'll probably still be collecting them for a long time to come. Thing is, I don't look like a nerd or geek at all, and I'm fairly athletic. I haven't had a girlfriend yet or even had a first kiss, so already I think my future looks pretty drat grim, and I haven't really made any major attempts either, in fear of getting ridiculed.

I'm screwed.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My cousin and I hardly know each other at all and we rarely ever had any contact with each other when we were kids, except for one summer when his mom babysat me. That summer he used to try to get me to kiss him, and he wanted me to pee on his hand for some reason. We were both about 5 or 6 so I suppose that's not as wierd as it sounds. I never complied with his requests. We were in the same elementary and middle schools, but we went to different high schools. I saw him at random family get-togethers on a few occassions, but never talked to him. He was kind of a jock and I was an art snob, so I assumed we had nothing in common and therefore avoided all contact with him in school and at family gatherings. We coincidentally met when we were both 21, in 1999, at a bar in our hometown during the holidays. We had both just broken up with our long-term significant others and were similarly miserable so we found lots to talk about. My cousin is a fashion model, by the way. On normal days, I think models are necessarily lame, but on this occassion I noticed that he was hot. We went back to my Dad's house afterward. He started talking about the summer when his mom babysat me, and asking me what I remembered. I didn't mention the peeing thing, but I said I remembered that he wanted me to kiss him and I wouldn't. He said he still wanted me to kiss him and that he had continually fantasized about me since then. So we were totally drunk by that point and both in rebound mode, and we had sex. Well anyway, he's really hot but terrible in bed, and I can't believe I did that. I haven't seen or talked to him in about 6 years, nor have I seen his mother (my aunt). I really hope he never told anyone about it. That is so embarrassing. I kind of hope I never see him again.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been having reoccuring, lucid dreams about angels for about 15 years even though I'm athiest, and the only reason I was initially interested in my boyfriend is because he reminded me of one of them. We've been together for years now, and I still feel bad because to me he is not very good looking even though I tell him otherwise. I've also faked every orgasm he has supposedly given me by contracting my PC muscles and often imagine loving someone else when I'm with him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

one time I jacked off on a school bus on the way home.When I was in japan I totally got drunk as gently caress with a bunch of japanese college students
It was all sake, tasted like loving medicine
I still havent told my mom... lolz

when I was in 3rd grade too, this kid showed me his penis and said "This is a penis"
he was wierd... never told anyone before

I also hit a kid over the head with a binder that had my whole backpack in it

I also have to use dictionary.com to read the forums...

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

It's my fantasy to be feminized and turned into a slut. I wanna be just like Jenna Jameson when I get older. I'm only 15 right now, but by the time I'm 18, I want to be a slutty, hot girl with huge breasts and a nice, fuckable rear end. I wanna be a whore for men, sucking as many cocks as I possibly can.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Three times I've carved a hole in an orange and had sex with it and came inside it. One time I've eaten it afterward.

I used to jack off in my algebra class underneath my desk to different girls in the class (I sat in the very back with no one on either side of me in the same row). Some girl knew I was doing it so I had to stop (she never told on me, I just heard from one of my friends that someone said I jacked off in algebra class)

I like to stick things in my rear end while I masturbate. Things such as tampons, my own fingers, wooden dowells and toothbrush handles.

One time I tried to break into one of my ex friend's house and steal all of his xbox games so I could sell them.

I covered the same friend's car with 10 pounds of dog poo poo mixed with water as if it was some kind of poo poo slurry and he never found out it was me

I steal thongs from my brother's wife's panty drawer when I go to their house, and I regularly masturbate into them and occasionally wear them and pose for photographs in the bathroom mirror with them.

One time when I was housesitting for a neighbor, I laid nude in their daughter's (she was the same age as me at the time, about 16 or 17) bed and masturbated all over the covers and sheets and pillows every single day they were gone. I also used to jack off into her panties and put them back in the drawer

One of my suister's friends spent the night and took off her bra before she went to sleep, so I snuck out of my room and took the bra and claimed I never saw it when she was looking for it in the morning. Sometimes I masturbate into one of the cups.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Not so much a confession as something I would like to get off my chest. I
have been terrified recently that my big sister is going to kill herself.
She has been signed off work because of depression... She is not even emo,
just your usual party chick. When she came into my room earlier and asked
if I had any paper because she had to write a letter, I got a really bad
cold sweat, she never writes letters. Thankfully she did not do what I was
thinking of, but I can not live like this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a girl goon. When i first joined I hid my gender
except from the people that I knew. Once I felt a bit
better about it I started not hiding that I was a
girl. Goons started im'ing and emailing me like it was
a fad. It was insane. Some were nice. Others just
screamed at me for no reason and threatened me. But
nearly all of them ended up sending me pictures of
thier penises. I have more then 50 pics, all un-asked
for, of goon cocks. Soemtimes it would be the first
thing in the message window or part of the first
email. I have no profile pic. They have no clue who I
am really. Now I have all these pics and I sooooo want
to post them and ask the individuals to come forward
and claim their penises. I told them all that I would
use them for blackmail purposes.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Stupid animal loving pet-freaks who consider pets to be equal to be humans should be loving shot.
http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...9#post302220069
This, for example. gently caress them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm not sending this through a proxy because it honestly doesn't
matter that much to me. I want to tell people, my friends, I want to
get it off my chest, but it's not really the thing you sit down and
have lunch over. And I almost hope that I get found out and that
there is a big confrontation because at least something will be
happening then.

I got drunk the other night and came out to a friend of mine. That
brings the "People who know I'm gay" counter up to two (The first one
being the only girl friend I ever had way back a few years ago. I
told her about six months ago.) That's not the secret though. My
confession is that I'm a cross-dresser, but really I think I might be
transsexual. I don't like thinking about it, because it makes me even
more uncomfortable than usual. And believe me, I'm a pretty on-edge
guy to begin with, not that anyone knows about that either.

I have a stash of clothes I keep locked in a filing cabinet in my
room. I've bought or stolen from cloth drives all of it. That makes
me feel bad when I think about it. Like, some one who might actually
have needed that skirt can't have it now because I enjoy playing dress
up.

I like reading on-line testimonials of transsexuals because I feel
proud by proxy. It makes me feel good knowing that someone is doing
it, and living their lives and just saying "gently caress you" to all the hate
filled people who will never accept them.

I get a bit misty eyed when I hear or read about parents who are proud
of their kids just for being whom they are, mainly because I'll never
have that even if I did come out to them. I feel like I've let them
down by being this way. At the same time I didn't really have a
choice in this whole matter. So the loop goes around and around I'm
sorry for something I can't change. Most of the time I just wish I
was never born. I told that to the girl I came out to the other night
too.

Later that night called me a sociopath (She was drunk too)...I agreed with her.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love my mother. I love her more than anything in the
world (not sexually, but as mother-son). I would do
anything for her, and I am always looking out for her.
More than once I've gone out of my way to just check
on her. If I'm sitting in the middle of class, I'll
ask for a pass to the restroom, but instead I'll go
outside and call her at her work, just to make sure
she is OK. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the
night, and I'll run down the hall to check on her and
make sure she is alright and breathing. Whenever I'm
in public with her, and someone does something
dangerous, stupid, or otherwise insults my mother, I
will almost fly off the handle and start threatening
their lives, and swearing up a storm. I carry a 6"
knife where ever I go, among other hidden knives I
have; it makes me feel safer. I've considered carrying
a gun to protect her.

I swear that if anything ever happened to her, I will
commit suicide. No questions or doubts about it.

Yet, when I am around her at home, I am abusive
towards her. I yell, scream, and swear at her. I
threaten to hurt her if she doesn't do what I say.
I've shoved and hit her multiple times. She has gotten
many bruises from me.

I know that I do not appreciate her enough, and when
she is gone, I will sorely regret not treating her...
like my mother. For some reason, I just cannot change.

I've though about killing her, and then myself to just
end it. I don't want to do that to her.

I hate my myself for this. I truly do.

I'm sorry, mom. I love you with all my heart.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I claim I'm a virgin, and while I consider myself one because I've never really had adult consentual sex, in the strictest technical sense I'm not. I'm older than 25 and less than 30.

I'm male. Me and my male cousin, only 6 months apart (me older) used to play sexual games all the time when we were kids. Never lead to any sort of intercourse, but there was lots of petting, kissing, and sucking.

This girl neighbor of mine, who was my age, my cousin, and a few kids from the block would all play "house" together, and she and I would always be the parents. And we did everything (literally) that parents do, including kissing and attempts at sex (a little semi-erect boy dick doesn't insert into an unlubed girl vagina really well, but does into a mouth).

I was raped by a neighbor's daughter and one of her friends when I was about 8 years old. She used my tiny little boy dick to basically "rub one out". My cousin and a friend of ours were under the bed when it happened, and they thought it was a game. This same person made me come over to a sleepover she and a handful of her friends were having. They were watching "Stand By Me" and I loving freaked when it got to the part where they're walking through the swamp and the main character came out with leeches on his sack/dick. This girl and her friends just laughed at me. I cried and I can't watch that movie without cringing or tearing up at that part anymore; this sucks because that movie is loving awesome. She raped me again when her friends had gone to sleep and I was asleep on the couch. I call it surprise sex because I realize now that's what it was. I was barely able to get erect and I didn't know what the gently caress was going on, because I'd never seen a mature, or even nearly mature pussy. I wasn't even 8 years old yet. I never told anybody what was going on.

I was in some ways an early bloomer. I started masturbating when I was 9, and I could ejaculate a little before my 10th birthday. I started having bisexual fantasies around this time. I'd want to suck and gently caress all the cutest girls and guys in my classes all the time. And to this day I still have bisexual fantasies all the time, though I'd consider myself 80/20 straight/gay. That's not really embarrassing though; I think bisexuals are the bomb.

I never was able to form relationships properly. To this day all I really need, frienship wise, is a pair of "best" friends and a small cadre of really good friends otherwise. I didn't even start really dating until this year; prior to this I'd resigned myself to living the rest of my life without a mate and as a virgin. Now that I've dated a few times I find I can't stop loving thinking about not having anybody and it's beginning to interfere with my daily routine.

I'm also scared to death that the first woman I date that goes far enough for sex is going to find out my sexual inexperience and it will lead to a horrible and embarassing breakup. I've only told two people about the molestation, and I don't think I could ever tell the girl who takes my virginity about them. It's such a huge hang-up for me (the virginity and the molestation).

I was an angsty little teen (for obvious reasons) and tried to kill myself with a knife to the wrist. I started slicing down, but the knife was dull and it hurt like a bitch, so I stopped cutting and dropped the knife when a really sharp pain hit. I have a scar on my right wrist because of it. I was so young, though, that the scar sort of migrated away from the center of my arm and away from the vein as I grew, and when people notice it and ask I tell them I fell down and cut myself or something.

More recently (about three years ago) I was depressed enough to load five shells into my shotgun and contemplate suicide. I stuck the barrel in my mouth and sat with the gun like that for hours, never getting the courage to pull the trigger. I'll never, ever loving forget the taste of that gun barrel. I kept the gun to remind me what a pussy I was (and am).

Now that I've had these recent changes regarding relationships, I'm having much darker thoughts bordering on suicide again. Fortunately my best friend went through almost the exact same deal a few years ago, when he was my current age, and has been literally a life saver by talking with me.

Strangely, I'm able to be sociable in just about any situation, unless I'm really really depressed. I don't have trouble conversing well with others and I find that generally people are interested in what I have to say. But I just can't help feeling that inane chatter and me telling them my problems/feelings is just so much bullshit that's not worth the hastle.

Whew. That was kind of long. Hope it's not too long for the forums.

Pimpsolo fucked around with this message at Aug 23, 2005 around 09:22

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a neo nazi living in California.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Even though I'm quite intelligent, have a full scholarship to an upstanding midwestern university, and probably have almost a 100% of getting a job after graduating, I would like nothing more than to move to another country and do something that doesn't seem so sellout-ish, like sell drugs or volunteer with an environmentalist group.

Additionally, over the last few months I have become increasingly convinced that the world is currently living in the last golden age it will ever experience. I think that as the age of easy oil comes to an end, with no country really having learned from its previous mistakes, civilization is going to collapse and anarchy will reign.

My father keeps telling me to invest in the stock market and build a good life savings; how can I tell him that I don't think these things are going to matter in 30 or 40 years?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to work in a plasma center many years ago, i had saved money for months to buy my first U.S. Fender Stratocaster. 3 weeks after i had bought it i had a party at my house, got severly tanked and passed out. I awoke to my precious guitar being gone. Several months passed untill a friend called me and informed me of who had stolen it from trying to sell it to him, another friend confirmed it.
He was a regular plasma donor where i worked, and we used live syphillis to test blood samples for syphillis. As his full bag of blood came to my department i centrifuged all the plasma from his bag and injected the remaining red blood cells with 30 cc's of live syphillis.
I never saw him again.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I tried to kill my housemates' kitten multiple times just to see if I could do it in a non-incrimatory way. It never worked, and the now-cat loves me. I feel incredibly guilty when they comment on how affectionate it is towards me.

I shoplift when I'm stressed.

I've cheated on every person I've dated.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I can't stop starving myself because I wouldn't know how to define myself otherwise.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i lose a lot of respect for people when i find out they're pro-palestine. and no, i'm not jewish, nor do i hate arabs.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think I created a new FYAD catchphrase with my earlier confessions. I don't know whether I should feel proud or pathetic.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father for I have sinned...

Currently, I'm seeing three people at once. None of them know each other or realize any of the other two exist. What scares me most is that I like all three of them, and visa versa. What scares me is that I am claimed to have made the most significant impact on all three of their lives. Two claim they're experts at detecting when people cheat. I've been dating one for more than a year and that person has yet to know. One person is around my age, another similar, and another is nearly 20 years older than me. The thing is, I like them all. I really do. I just don't know. It's not even about sex, or the rush of having multiple people. I've been chased at alot by many people, but these three people I really like.

What also scares me is my ability to hide this so well. One day I will get found out, and I will face the consequences. But, for now I will see how things go.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My fiance died a few months ago, and despite the fact that I loved him dearly, I'm almost glad he's dead because I'm enjoying the pain it's causing me. I know this makes me a terrible person and it makes me feel incredibly guilty, but I'm loving every second of this.

I never knew my birth mother and I always tell people that I don't care because I can't bring myself to be sad because of the death of someone I never knew. I can't sleep sometimes because I lie in bed thinking about her and sometimes I cry myself to sleep because of it.

I'm an attractive 22 year old woman and yet I rarely leave the house and I spend most of my time on the internet, only going out to go to class or to get something to eat if there's any choice because I'm afraid of interacting with people I don't know. And I initially became a gamer when I was 16 because it gave me a convenient way to ignore my father's drunken rage without having to leave, not because "My boyfriend got me to play and it was fun! ^__^"

I'm also deathly afraid of the dark to the point where I can't walk around the house at night unless all the lights are on and only stay up until four in the morning on a regular basis so no one will know.

I was raped in my apartment two years ago, but I never tell anyone about it and I staunchly refuse to talk about it with anyone that does know. Not really because of the emotional pain, but because I don't want to look like a pity seeking attention whore even though I know it would help.

I fish for compliments constantly and really am a pity seeking attention whore that revels in the drama in her life, but I'm always trying to hide it behind my shyness, which is real, but doesn't get in the way once I start dropping drama bombs.

And I've never posted here because I'm afraid that I won't fit in or I'm not as funny as everyone here despite the fact that I think I'm probably more intelligent and witty than half of GBS.

Even though no one here knows who I am, I am frightened to death of the fact that this will probably be posted and I'm mildly upset that many people will probably think this is fake, but I feel better knowing I've told someone.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Father-
I'll be 25 in December, and I'm still a virgin. I hate teen movies like "Can't Hardly Wait" because it shoves in my face the social life I never had in high school.

I loving hate people. I curse people out and scream at them in my mind at work. I've sexually harrassed 3 female co-workers, and they didn't report it because they thought I was joking. Before one girl got pregnant, I would stare at her tight-pants wearing rear end CONSTANTLY at work. It was the only thing that got me through the day.

I hate my eyes and the fact that I wear glasses. People think I'm a nerd, even though I rock out harder than they ever will. Seriously.

I've drawn furry art. Not porn, not stupid poo poo, but other furry's characters for money. I almost went prison-butch gay for a fur when I was a teenager. Almost.

I have a useless college degree. You want fries with that?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hosed a semi-famous poster from GBS, Games and ADTRW and promised not to tell anyone. Guess I lied.

He came before I could blink. I am a guy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have gotten wood more than once while reading this thread.
I have too.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I still sleep with the teddy bear my parents bought for me for my first birthday. I am twenty-three years old.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm on Furry Muck! And Something Awful! At the same time! And there's nothing you can do about it! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So there.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes I wear my girlfriend\'s dirty panties and it gives me the biggest boner ever. I don't find the idea of wearing clean panties appealing at all.

Also, when I get high sometimes I masturbate while thinking that I am a shy little teenage girl being attended to by two totally hot lesbians.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i want to gently caress a pear now.

should i microwave it first?

other anonymous pearfucker, tell us.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think I am in love with two different women and I am hoping that they fall in love with each other and we can all live together. That sounds immensely appealing to me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was playing around with a guy at my school once, joking about how his mom liked to surprise sex him with a baseball bat He got pretty angry, stormed out of the room, and never came back to school.

Around two weeks later he killed his mom and two sisters, using mainly a baseball bat.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love my best friend. She doesn't know. We're both girls. Well, maybe she does know. She makes passes at me when she's drunk. Troof!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've hosed a fellow goon and ignored them totally afterwards, I sell copious amounts of drugs, and I am friends with furries.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Everytime I see an ElfPr0n post I just have to click her profile to see if she has changed her pic. hardcore/emo girls are too loving hot.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I talk about sex, have sex all the time. but I feel nothing when I have sex, even with my fiance.

I loving hate sex.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I consider myself a Carl Sagan-type sceptical scientist. You know, the kind who still has a great deal of wonder and curiousity about the world, but lives in a world of reason and concrete evidence.

However, I believe in faeries. Which is kinda gay, and doesn't fit the rest of my worldview, and I'm not really sure why I do, but I do. Somehow, this dichotomy works.

Sometimes I have sex with spirits.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate it when Lowtax posts serious poo poo in FYAD. Stop posting about games, please. If anyone else would do that, they'd be told to get out immediatly. Other than that, I feel that the 10bux requirement helps to keep away a lot of retards. It's IMO one of the better moderated forums out there.

Oh yeah, I have some sort of light e-crush on my2k. Her posts are interesting and her enthousiasm about animation is contagious. She also ms paint really well. But theres no way i'll type in her AIM and tell her "hay I like your posts, lets chat."

I hate it when people quote me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was molested by 3 family members multiple times when I was younger.

Now I'm afraid to ever have children because of the fact that they say victims are likely to do the same.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've had a really long-running kind of subtle gimmick where it's impossible to tell what gender I am.

Yes, I'm a female, yes those pictures are me and yes, I decided to do that so I didn\'t have everyone looking down on my posts and thoughts because I'm a "oh my god a girl on the internet".

I hope I've kept this vague enough that no one will figure it out, but if they do, I'll probably just quit posting. I've wanted to say something forever, because staying gender neutral on every post is really hard!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I go through everyone's things. Wallets, computers, diarys, anything anyone leaves lying around, I will look through it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a huge crush on orangegenesis. I saw her one time at a meet, but I was too quiet to say anything. It's too bad she keeps getting so much beef from being the stereotype of asian girl on a predominantly white male forums because she seems pretty loving cool. I never had the guts to talk to her though and I dont have PM so I cant even give her a PM hi.

Im going to slyly ask her to make me a sculpture just to talk to her.

Im not a loving japophile because I think alot of asian are pretty loving ugly. She's cute though.

I also think Lucy Lui is pretty, but that xian xi yi person is pretty loving fugly.

I was also accepted to Harvard, but due to loving sheer laziness I declined to go traveling around in Peru for 2 years.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Father-

I try not to be a racist, but I really hate black culture. Rap is just egotistical cock-waving, and I hate how black women are "proud" of having a fat, disgusting booty rear end. I do NOT like big butts, and I cannot lie.

I hate how black people use their race as a crutch, and blame everything on "the man" because they're black and every white person is out to get them. We're not. I hate how black people act like slavery is still going on, and that nothing is ever their fault. I hate how they think they're "entitled" to money from the government, because they can't get off their asses and find a job. It's not hard.

I've had black friends in college, but only because they acted white and we liked the same things. I never kept in touch with them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to cut myself. For two years I did it and no one knew. Finally everyone found out.

I only stopped last year. I relized it was stupid and an immature way to deal with pain, and now I look down on anyone who does it. You'd think I would be more understanding. But I'm not. And I hate it.-

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

During the last week of second semester (around May), I parked my car in a space near the side exit so I could bring stuff to it easier. I pulled a lovely parking job and ended up almost diagonal in my space, next to a blue Contour. As I slowly reversed and backed out of the space, I saw a gigantic white streak along the length of the driver's side door panel. I freaked out, parked on the opposite side of the parking lot, and avoided walking near that car until it had left 2 days later. I felt like poo poo and would have left my insurance info if not for the fact that it was already so high from being a newly licensed driver and whatnot.

Two weeks later my car's fuel gauge hosed up, and over the summer I had to have both the spark plugs and fuel tank replaced. $400 worth of work total. Karma's a bitch.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am having immense anxiety that the confessions I've sent off will somehow be traced back to me and will ruin my life oh god how will I sleep?

I can't stop sending them, though.
Won't happen. You can trust a stranger on the internet with the handle "Pimpsolo." whom you've never met, I promise.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I honstly think I'm insane.

I think I'm better than everyone, but I know I'm not. Yet I know I am. See how this doesn't make sense? I put too much thought into everything. I over-anylyze, and it drives me nuts. My mind never stops. I can't take it. And what makes it worse is that no one understands. And I hate everyone I know for not understanding.

I am going to end up in a mental hosptial...again.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to drive out in the wilderness in my car late at night when my parents and sister were asleep and put a lubed up carrot in my rear end and masturbate. I only did it a few times because it felt funny when I pooped the next day. The orgasms were really good though.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I want to post in fyad but know they won't have me so that is okay and I enjoy reading the stuff they post. Sometimes I post something innocuous and (hopefully) funny and am happy when I am ignored (or quoted or whatever) and not told to get out.

I get a little annoyed when someone in GBS does the 'lol fyad is dumb' thing, and feel like defending it, but sound stupid to myself when I try to. Anyway, I'm enjoying the making fun of confessions going on over there, kwality komedy kramps.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father for I have sinned. I have had sex with 7 men and my husband thinks he is the only one. All of the others were after I met my husband. I sleep with my husband's best friend on a regular basis. He was the best man at the wedding. I have slept with coworkers and fellow students. When I met someone, one of the first things I think is "will this person have sex with me?". I love my husband, but I don't think I will ever stop cheating in him. I don't even feel very bad about it. I only feel bad when I think about getting caught. Or catching something, since I don't always use a condom. I have hosed married men, single men and engaged men. I haven't even mentioned the guys I mess around with, but don't actually gently caress. I am going directly to hell.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Ooops I also confess that I hit submit before I was ready to. Because no one is sure if Im male or female, I\'ve been able to post bannable homegrown both here and in the filespin off forums and no one suspected a thing.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Where to start? Let's see: I am aroused by anything I actively try to stop myself getting aroused by. Like, 18 months ago when I was into the whole SA furry-hating thing, I looked at furry porn. When I realised there's nothing wrong with furry-ism (?) I stopped doing that, but recemtly I'm getting really annoyed with white men who fetishize asian women and now, well, you can guess.
I have spent over £90 on nitrous oxide - £30 within the last few weeks. I'm beggining to think I might have a problem.
Also, I'm posting this drunk! So there!
By the way, I think you should give some other goons access to this account. That way you can get some sleep/study, and it doesn't really matter who posts these confessions.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I get off on the idea of people being sedated or drunk, and have had
fantasies about locking young men in an underground complex and
drugging them and having sex with them. Actual drunk people don't turn
me on, they disgust me. I am a girl and a virgin.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 20 I accidentally side-swiped a motorcycle while I was driving a rental car - I was turning left and they were turning right and we both were going to end up heading west on the same street. This happened on a rainy day and there were two people on the bike. I didn't see them until I was halfway down the street when I noticed both of them in the rearview mirror sprawled all over the road - I did hear the impact but I thought I hit a cat or something. I never stopped and wasn't caught. I have felt guilty about it for years.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

While in college I worked at a store and stole $100-$200 per shift. I never got caught and have never done anything to repay the owners but I feel guilty to this day.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a 34 year old guy and I've had sex twice in the last 15 years - both times with a married woman who told me she was leaving her husband (she never did).

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My brother is two years my senior and mentally retarded. He has severe ADHD, Aspergor's syndrom(mild autism), and emotional issues. I don't know why, but when I was around the age of 4 or 5 to the age of 12 I believe. I would sneak around and destroy things and blame them on my handicapped brother who did absolutely nothing wrong. There were a couple occasions where I was suspected but I was never punished. Some of the things I did were poor my mother's extremely expensive perfume down the drain and throw the bottle into a bowl of water that she used to soak her plate in. She has fake upper teeth. She caught me with my hand in the bowl and I told her I was fishing the bottle out. I also sprayed a whole can of shaving cream down the toilet and told my parents I found it that way. I aggravated my brother a few times where he'd shove me and then I would be overly dramatic. One time I was teasing him, he shoved me and I chipped a front tooth. It still hasn't been fixed.
There were a lot of things I did to him, thankfully he forgets almost everything. I still cry over what I did to him.

I think I mentioned my dad was an abusive alcoholic somewhere earlier in here. I witnessed my dad kick my brother in the teeth, pull out his hair, pull out my MOTHER's hair, smack my brother so hard across the face he left a hand print. I've seen him do horrifying things to my family I've just never shared with anyone, I don't want them to think differently of my now sober father.
Before 5th grade I had to live in a women's shelter with my mom and brother for 3 months. I hated my father and still do for what he did. And I hate him for never physically beating me. I guess I just felt left out. But he never forgot to call me a fatass, a fat bitch, a fatfuck, a lazy bastard, a whore, a failure, a disappointment. He told me I was too fat to play soccer. I was only 11. For 3 years I was so depressed I just kept eating, afterall I was a fat disappointment. I'm going on 17 and am still overweight from that phase.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think really fat chicks calling themselves "curvy" is laughable, and I want to tell them so, but I am too much of a coward. Anyway, you fat chicks are ruining the word "curvy" for people like Salma Hayek. loving get over your body issues already. If I see one more "curvy" girl that is built like the crushinator, I will probably post more rants anonymously, either here or maybe on craigslist like the big pussy I am.

ps. This also goes out to my fatass coworker who was complaining that she wasn't heavy enough for stomach stapling. die.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I told my mom I meant it when I told her I hate her so many times before. Everytime I tell her I hate her I want to kill myself and have tried. Everytime I tell her I hate her I have nightmares in which she dies for days on end.
When I told my dad I meant it when I told him I hate him so many times before. We didn't speak for two weeks straight and they were two of the best weeks in my life. But I still had nightmares where he died.
When I didn't want him to take me to work he threw his keys at me and yelled at me. I cried for an hour and told me I didn't mean it that way and he told me he hated me and to get out of his house. I had to have my mom take me to work. I don't think I've ever wanted to be killed so much in my life. I felt like I deserved it. He makes me feel like poo poo and I hate him for it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once manipulated an ex into anal. She was vulnerable, and I was curious.

For all those who are offended, karma caught up to me. I now have had the same STD outbreak for almost a year, which has meant no sex for the duration. The medication is having no effect.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was a kid in middle school, there was a chap named "Chris" in my PE class. He was mentally challenged with some kind of disease that I still don't know to this day.

Anyways, one normal PE day myself and a few friends were dicking around by the school's pool instead of running. "Chris" sees us and decides to tell our teacher, which gets us all detention. We all vow to get back at him at the worst way - pretending to be his friend but then doing horrible things to him.

I can't remember all of what we did to him, but what I do remember specifically is this:

- One time I threw a pizza slice on the cafateria floor, cheese side down, and then went up to Chris and gave it to him. He ate it like nobody's business and then walked away skipping. The next day we learned that Chris was home sick, making GBS threads his rear end out for no good reason.

- During PE runs around the school, my friends and I would run next to Chris and then push him constantly into a passing by wall until he fell on the floor and would start to cry.

- Once in the gym Chris called me a jerk for telling him to learn how to shower because of his odor. I then grabbed his arm and swung him down on the ground and told him if he said that again I'd make sure he wouldn't be coming back to school the next day. I let him go and he ran off crying, where he hid behind the bleachers for the rest of the day.

- One of the worst things we did to him was during scheduled PE pool time. After everyone got back from the pool into the boy's locker room and started changing, we looked around to see Chris changing. Instead of doing what everyone else usually does (wrap yourself in a towl and then take off your swimsuit so no one sees your junk) Chris was completely naked walking to the bathroom on the other side of the room. My friends saw a chance opportunity and ran up to his open locker and decided to hide all his clothes in the trashcan. When he came back from the bathroom he freaked out, not being able to find his clothes, and ran over to our teacher crying. The teacher just gave him a disgusted look and told him that's what he gets for keeping his locker unlocked and to check the lost and found box by his desk for some clothes he could borrow. Chris decides that's a horrible idea and starts bawling his eyes out, while the teacher tries to comfort him as best as he can. Ultimately, he is forced to call the office to get his mom on the phone because he refused to talk and kept screaming in his office for his mom.

The worst part is Chris would continually think we were his friends and we would continue to harass him. I have no clue where he is now, how badly we damamged his mind, or if he's even alive, but now I know how much of an insensitive jackass kid I was. I think the best I can get now is an outer ring of hell or pergatory if I'm lucky.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I steal from my friends. I ruin their things when I stay at their houses.
I stole my very best friend's never used lip gloss, black nail polish, black t shirt, 2 cds, 2 containers of eyeshadow, and a magazine.
In return she stole my face cream and a black shirt of mine that would never fit her in a million years.
I broke my best (gay) friend's dildo. :| I don't know why.

I can't be trusted. My best gay friend's parents are gay and I've told probably all of our mutual friends.
I talk about all of my friends behind their backs.
My very best friend: I've told mutual friends what she's done with her now ex-bfs, how I think she's super loving fat and her weight-226lbs. I've told them how sometimes I worry about her. I've also told them about her filthy house and life in general.
I can't stand her little brother and his stutter I can't help but want to beat the poo poo out of him. He doesn't just have a stutter either. He has ADHD and some other disorder I can't think of. He's also confused about his gender. I despise him.

I go through people's things when I'm at their house.

I lied when I told my mom that my little cousin tried to stab me with my own pocket knife.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I just recently got a 20 yr old girlfriend (I'm 26) then proceeded to pop her cherry, all the while lying and telling her how much she means to me etc. What she doesn't know is that I'm currently involved in a long distance relationship with a girl I intend to marry, and 20 yr old will be getting dumped as soon as long-distance can join me here.

Sometimes I feel like I deserve to die alone and miserable, but I still can't help myself.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Time for a serious confession:

Whenever a story of pedophilia comes up on the boards, I *don't* immediately start describing the various tortures I would inflict on him/her. I feel bad for everyone, and want to keep them away from kids, but to treat it as a mental health problem.

I never got why so many people want to play the game of "pedophile punishment top this". You don't have to talk about how you would pull his toenails out to get your point across. We believe you.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 17 and haven't had a boyfriend. I haven't been kissed. I haven't dated. I haven't been hugged by a straight guy in almost a year. And now that I think about it, that straight guy is probably gay.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

"It's silly really, and like already mentioned, it's just lovely posters ragging on [lowtax]"

Confession: No, it really isn't. I have never been banned, and I don't use IRC, and I don't fit into whatever other box critics need to be put in so that everyone feels ok. I think Lowtax can be pretty pathetic. So do many others. Many more than that will probably disagree. I'd criticise him publicly, but I love the forums and most of the people in it, don't feel like spending the money, and yes I think he has the right to ban people on *his* forum if they are calling him out on what they (and I) perceive to be his petty bullshit.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a permabanned user. I also think most mods/admins are cool but that OMGWTFBBQ and Ozma are loving douchebags.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I despise my friends' ex boyfriend. Yet, he was my first obsession. He dated a friend. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. And just kept going out with my friends and acted like I didn't exist. Then when I did, he still dated another friend. I tried to tell him how I felt and he was too loving stupid to understand. He is so dumb, that I and others have to dumb down our conversations for him to understand. He's fat, balding and ugly. He's dirty, and greasy and has a scat fetish and likes "water sports". He wants his tongue forked. He's incredibly childish and is simply a disgusting human being. He's a waste of flesh.
But no matter how much I say I hate him and that I think he's horrible, I wish he was mute and would gently caress me in the rear end.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm falling in love with a friend of mine who's gay.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 12 I lived in an apt above a friend of my mom's. They'd have me petsit their dog while they were away. There were a number of times I would hump that dog and I dont' know why.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I discovered porn when I was 11. I watched my brother's porn when I was 12. I'm obessed with gay, man on man porn.

I'm a 18 year old straight male.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I tried to kill myself by slitting my throat when I was 12. I wrote a letter blaming my parents.

I just found that letter and burned it. I hope to god they didn't see it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 15 I killed a man who was trying to surprise sex me. When I started fighting back he switched tactics and tried to kill me instead. I beat him to death. I remember realizing that he was dead and blinking. There was blood stuck on my eyelids and it was tacky and would stick when I blinked. At first all I felt was relief. I was safe. I was barely hurt. Some of the blood was mine. I just sat there and stared at him. Then I realized what I had done. I just... shut down. I don't really remember anything. I could see the flashing lights. I could see mouths moving. But I couldn't seem to hear anything. Then I was moving. Then I was in a hospital bed. Then I was waking up at home.
It was the first time I had stitches. They are tight and move funny. Walking was difficult. I had no balance and I fell down a lot the next couple of days. I slowly came back to myself and started thinking again.
Sometimes I still have nightmares. If I look in a mirror after I wake up I will still see myself with the blood spray across my face. If I am having sex with my husband and his sweat drips down on my face and lands on my eyelid I will freak out. I can't do anything again until my eyelid is dry and not sticky. But the worst part is I don't have the nightmares because of what happened. I have nightmares becaue of how I felt. I was happy he was dead. I was happy I killed him. I was happy I stopped it. Even if that meant that he had to die. No charges were ever pressed. It was an obvious case of self defense. But I never told anyone I was happy he died either.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been lurking for 2.5 years and pretend to be a goon in multiplayer online games. To be honest, I've just never had 10$ to spend.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'll do this.

When I was 14-16 I thought is was 'cool' to take girls virginity. I got 8 in a row. One of which was a preachers daughter who's life completly went to hell when I didn't talk to her the next day. I was drunk

I began drinking @ ago 14. I do not drink as much now, but the regular college amount.
I have been addicited to every drug I can get my hands on. 10+ drugs.

I consider myself more intelligent, better looking, and humorous than 99% of ppl out there.

my typos do not bother me.

I am stringing along this chick for the past 3-4 years. I consider myself out of her leauge. I do love her. I am not very sexually attracted to her. I am just always so messed up on the my current drug, at all times, that I have a hard time meeting girls. Who can expect a girl to put up with my drug use, right? I have girls hit on me more than I hit on them.

I am currently addicted to large doses of opiates and am scared about quitting.

When I was 16-18 someone who wasn't me was involved in a money making scheme that netted him over 150,000$.

and in case you can't tell, I am arrogant.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I constantly want sex and to have a dick down my throat. But I'm not comfortable around guys at all. I don't date and I don't have a boyfriend. This is all because of a guy I sort of hooked up with. Turns out he's a creep and would gently caress anything that moves. He makes me want to vomit. Because of him I have trouble being with guys and not feeling vulnerable. I let that one get too close. Now I don't trust men in general and can't get close to anyone. I don't know if I'll ever to be able to date.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm in love with someone who goes to another school and is a stoner. I've never felt so comfortable with anyone in my life. I feel like I can be myself with this person. They smoke pot and drink like crazy. But when they're not smashed they're a wonderful caring person.
I wish I could change them.

I'm straight edge.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I like scaring people I go to school with. I enjoy making empty threats. I don't enjoy the attention I get from their friends though.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am 99% sure I am hotter than all of the other male goons out there. I have been called it before back when picture threads were still cool and would brag about it more if I wasn't damned sure everyone would think I am the biggest rear end in a top hat alive. And no, I am not Justin_On_Fire. I honestly think he looks like a girl and is overrated.

I would pose naked online if I had more muscles

I lead girls on and get them to want to sleep with me then I end up not doing it, mainly because I just enjoy seeing if I could get certain girls in bed or not.

Geckolio is one of the hottest women alive and I would rail the poo poo out of her if we were both single.

I hate what GBS has become and I wish that pretty much everyone in that forum would die. The forum used to be awesome now it is just a realtime LiveJournal. It is impossible to post anything with the slightest bit of creativity without people making GBS threads up the thread trying to use the latest catchphrases. gently caress all of you. Stop using GBS as your E/N paradise, no one loving cares unless it is intensely funny.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I make poo poo up and play on it when I hit on the guys at hottopic.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I truly think I have no self-image, all my future plans/dreams/clothing style/everything have been ripped from some fictional person I wish I could be similar to. Whatever was left of my real self died in my teens, and now I'm over 30, and too far into my career to take back my own life.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate puerto rican people. I despise them. I hate mexicans too. I have a friend from el savador and a friend who's half black. But I cannot stand the people all over the world who are decked out in rhino and ecko, carry guns, aren't literate, can't speak english correctly even when they hail from america. I hate rap and hip hop, I can't stand how they talk. I can't stand how all those "ghetto" kids dress. Fighting all the time and talking stupid poo poo and reproducing. I just want them sterilized or loving shot on site. I hate them all. I HATE THEM. I don't admit this in front of my family or friends. BUT I loving HATE THEM. I'm not stereotyping. I'm just pinpointing people. I don't like spics who carry guns and reproduce and can't read or speak, think they can "sing", rapping isn't singing. It's not music. I hate the ricans who dress in that gangster clothing. I hate it all. I loving HATE IT ALL.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I grew up in a rural area where people had farms and horses and stuff. When I was around 6 or 7 I went to a neigbors house to play with a kid my age and they werent home. For some unexplained reason I ended up going in the house (no one locked there doors) drinking something out of the fridge and breaking some eggs in the fridge and on the floor. I also dragged a bridle out of the barn (I wanted to ride a horse but it wouldnt let me get near it)and left it in the middle of the field. At some point I realized that this wasnt a good idea and left and went home. I never heard anything else about it and can only think that some other kids who lived closer (and were poor) got blamed. It had to be a big deal though because poo poo like that never happened. I never understood why I did that but I knew it was wrong and did it anyway.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I couldn't have cared less when my uncle died. He was rich as hell and I wanted his money. I did feel a little sad, because he was extremely friend and sweet. But I never saw him or knew how to act around him. I just want a taste of his and my aunt's money. My aunt is loving crazy with grief and doesn't take care of her awesome dog so I'm really hoping she'll give it to us.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a female and stunningly beautiful. Like seriously drop dead gorgeous. I used to model so this is not just my opinion. I like to read the forums but I would never go to a goon meet or even meet a goon, because I think goons are fat and ugly and gross. I don't have a profile picture because I don't want that kind of attention and people probably wouldn't believe it was me anyway. I only date attractive people and even most of the goons who think they are good looking are hideous. I think my shallowness makes me a bad person.

The "ugliest room" thread is disgusting and I can't believe people are proud of living like the cast members of Gummo.

I was a compulsive liar when I was younger and every now and then some of my lies come back to haunt me. When I was 15 I lied about being raped to get attention from a boy. I still regret it to this day, especially since I've had to maintain the lie for years and keep telling new people the lie just in case they talk to someone who already believes it. One of my friends in high school called me out on the lie and I made her look like a terrible person for not believing me and ruined her reputation. She switched schools and tried to kill herself twice, and I'm pretty sure I was partially responsible for that.

Confessing this has been a great relief.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once found a few pictures of my sister naked in the shower, which she obviously took herself because that is what girls do. I jacked off to them, and then felt really guilty

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

1. I'm in love with Naomi Watts. Perhaps love is too big a word, but I've seen interview after interview and her personality and background is so similar to mine. The only female out of all the ones I've ever seen or met that I have the slightest interest in personality wise is 20 years older than me, lives in a different country and is a celebrity. It's pathetic and I am well aware of this but I can't seem to shake it. I find myself horrificly depressed due to this and many many other afflictions. I often consider buying a gun and shooting up some things, or robbing a bank or casino just for something to do. I've often wondered what it's like to beat someone senseless, to release all the anger at once and I think some day soon I will do it. I feel like Travis Bickle, gradually going crazy.

2. I hate emo fags and yet reading the above it seems I am one.

3. I've cheated on so many tests and lied so many times, I suppose the worst thing I did was narcing on a mate of mine for smoking weed. Some girl a couple of years older than us was teacher training and I wanted to seem cool mentioning this to her. She then went and told everyone and they got the police in etc. Luckily he wasn't that good a mate.

4. I often have the urge to inject buckets of heroin into my veins, and if I'm honest the only reason I don't is because I don't have the contacts.

5. I can't stand my brother's girlfriend and the way they talk to eachother etc, if you're reading this I loving HATE THE BITCH.

6. I've stolen money out of many charity boxes and I used to steal loads of poo poo from shops etc.

7. I masturbated in class once, noone noticed.

8. I used to drink whiskey by myself all the time, day and night. Turning up pissed to everything.

more later when i can remember it

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm in love with a 14 year old girl, but she's in love with a 12 year old boy. The 12 year old boy knows she likes him, yet he doesn't like her so he completely ignores her. She knows that I like her, yet she's too in love with the 12 year old to care.

I'm 18. I don't feel any shame. None.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I one hit a dog with my car and kept driving. When I looked through the rearview mirror it was flailing about with another dog hovering over it, wondering what happened to its friend.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm so alone, I don't have any friends at all. It's not that noone likes me, it's just for some reason I'm not accepted into a social circle; I haven't even seen anyone my age outside of school in months. Instead, I spend all my time on the computer, I put up a facade that it really doesn't bother me and I don't want acceptance but really I just long for someone to talk to about how I feel and what I think.

I've never had someone (outside my family who) genuinely care about me. I'm 18 and I've never had a girlfriend or even someone who I would consider to be a 'best friend'.
I would go out and try to meet people but Im so drat insecure that I am constantly paranoid of people looking at me and talking about me.

I've tried stuff like working out to improve my self-image and confidence but after a while I just give up because I know it wont make a drat bit of difference.
I sometimes wish something really bad would happen to me or my family so that I have an excuse for being such a loser. I've considered suicide, I dont know how seriously though, I doubt I'd ever go through with it.

I just want someone to hang out with who cares about me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Writing this, whether it gets posted or not, makes me feel a lot better. After reading some other confessions, I've come to realize everyone has a hosed up secret and I should not be so ashamed to have my own. So in list format I present everything which makes me feel ashamed in list form:

1. Everytime I go to visit one of my grandparents, my first action and thoughts revolve around getting to the medicine cabinet to steal oxycontin.

2. When I was 8 years old my friend suggested to me that we "suck dicks". I found a lot of pleasuring in having him do me. I tried to return the favor once but felt absolutely disgusted so after about 5 seconds I stopped and said I was getting tired. He immediately agreed to do me again, I ended up pissing in his mouth. I have come to realize after a lot of thinking that I am not gay, I was just a senseless kid who had no prior knowledge regarding sex. Throughout adolescnece and into my current age I still have a very big fear of intimacy and fear of women. What freaks me out even more are when girls smile at me and show obvious interest and I just turn into some supplicating shy moron despite a great social awareness.

3. When my sister was 3 I tried to get her to give me a blowjob. I was 10.

4. When I was 13 I would put food on my penis in order for my dog to aid in my pleasure.

5. I, too, tried to finger a hot female cousin at a young age.

6. I have stolen and extorted thousands of dollars from my parents. They know I am doing them wrong but they continue to play along with my lies and give me what I want. I feel extremely guilty doing this, but it's hard not to turn to them with these default behaviors when I want to buy weed or get something for my bmw. Even though I work 2 jobs at over 55 hours a week, I still feel very rotten and spoiled which in turns makes me feel very socially inadequate.

7. I feel I am much more intelligent than the majority of society. Despite my pathetic attempts to relate to people on a real-world, everyday level I still come across as an arrogant prick.

8. During a desperate dryspell fueled by low self confidence I ended up meeting a 15 year old girl from a Yahoo chatroom. She was rather unattractive (but tried to keep an appearance) and complained endlessly about how she hated going to school because she got made fun of. Even though I didn't want to take advantage of her, she kept doing so many things to validate herself to me until she finally got naked and said "I want to have sex with you." Without saying anything I got up and left because a broken girl like that needs someone who really cares for her and is not just looking for a quick lay. Later on, I found out that she tried to kill herself after I "broke up with her" (we knew eachother for a total of 4 hours). I still kick myself in the rear end for not taking advantage of that situation sometimes. I feel horrible.

7. I tried therapy, but called my therapist a stupid uneducated stinkyhole.


Phew, that feels good.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I cheated on my future-wife once, I just wanted to know what it would be like to gently caress another girl really, so I don't feel bad about it.

I think Lowtax is a total jerk on these forums, most of the time he just makes pretentious comments that annoy the poo poo out of me, and legions of goons support him, I hate them too.

I loving hate black people who act like dumb niggers(yeah i dont even give a poo poo about this loving word anymore, if they don't have any respect for me, I won't have any respect for them), I'm tired of these assholes who are absolutely sexist, homophobic, ignorant and just overall jerks in general, I hate the way you loving talk, I hate the way you loving dress, I hate how it's okay for you to opress every other race, yet any sign of racism towards you is loving sacriledge. I hate your horrrible music and 'culture' and I hope you loving die, there's no reason for you to act like idiots, we're all created equal so why can't you even formulate a proper sentence? it's not "we was" or "I be", god just shut the gently caress up and die.

Having said that, I'm not racist and if I meet a black person who's nice and respectful I will treat 'em in the same manner.

I talk poo poo about all my friends behind their backs, I don't really care for any of 'em and I only use em for rides, food and money even though they're pretty nice to me.

I have never apologized to anyone in my life, everytime I've had a fight with my parents/girlfriend/friends, it's always the other party who has to break down and apologize, I've never, ever been defeated.

I'm extremely manipulative and pretty much just try to take advantange of everyone in every situation, I lie without remorse and I have to ALWAYS get my way, and most of the time I do.

I haven't had a real conversation with any member of my family in many years, I go for weeks without saying a word to my parents and siblings, and when I do it's only to ask them a question, I never say hi or goodbye to them, I don't show up any kind of feelings towards things like their birthdates, etc.

I fantasize about shooting people in the face, in my mind I recreate intricate scenes and try to recreate what would happen, the skull shattering, the brains exploding, it all seems so enticing to me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...

I am an alcoholic, and have been for the past 10 years. I drink 8 - 10 beers in a few hours every night. It runs in my family on my mom's side (Grandpa, at least one uncle [hardcore drunk], possibly an aunt, and I sometimes wonder about my mom and my sister as well). I love being drunk, but it's starting to have negative effects on my social life, health, finances, etc. I'm still able to do my job well, but I would give anything to be able to quit. I have tried a few times without success. I drink to self-medicate my anxiety/depression (these also run in the family, again on mom's side). I feel guilty/ashamed/worthless because of my drinking, which only feeds the depression and anxiety. So I drink more. Which only feeds...rinse and repeat.

I actually feel a bit better now. I'm getting closer to seeking real help (new psychiatrist and AA).

I'm 36, well-educated, and started drinking heavily in college. For those of you who have a history of substance abuse in your family, I strongly suggest that you monitor your alcohol/drug intake, and quit at the first sign of abuse. It CAN happen to YOU.

PS: I *do not* drive drunk, ever. I drink when I get home from work. Also, I am not a well-known SA poster.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I sent annoying emails to my significant other's ex.
I'd do it again if I could figure out how to be sufficiently anonymous.
I also ponder leaving remarks on their MySpace, I wish I could figure out how.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father for I have sinned:

I had sex with a beautiful woman who was having an affair with a friend of mine. The friend lived in another country and his gf had left her job and flat to live with him. When he came over to move her stuff he consumated the affair.

I'm fairly sure the beautiful woman was shagging me to get back at him. It worked, they're married. And in fairness the sex was excellent.

I had sex with a girl who had just turned legal and then slept with another woman (who turned out to also have a boyfriend) the very next day.

After having a terrible one night stand I decided to forget women for a while and concentrate on hard drugs instead.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Based on that mysterious little dancing gif of her, I want to gently caress Ozma.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This isn't really a confession since I don't actually feel bad about any of this. But still, it'll be interesting to see if I get any reactions.

I enjoy pretending I'm a young girl online. In pedophile and incest chatrooms. The people I'm talking to are either really stupid, or just don't care and are just happy that someone is willing to play the role of their 6 year old daughter. I get off to this all the time. Not because the other person is getting off, I couldn't care less about them. But roleplay about child abuse and molestation is a huge turnon, and since it's almost impossible for a child to actually get on and talk to you about sex, I'm happy pretending I am the child, and talking about it.

This also makes me a pedophile. Ages around 10 are the most common (well, older is more common, but a 14 year old might as well be 18 most of the time, they look the same). Younger girls, around 10, are very hot. Even younger is even hotter. childsupermodels.com don't have six year olds, but I always have my neighbours' children for that.

Note that I would never actually molest anyone, but that's just because of the laws. I'm smart enough to not even consider trying since getting caught is too much of a risk, and the punishment is pretty much as severe as it gets.

If, somehow, the law was changed and sex with 14, 12, 10.. 6 year olds was legal, I would be all over it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In our relationship, honesty is key. We know eachother's deepest darkest secrets and desires, no matter how embarassing or dirty. We're brutally honest with each other in every way. We even tell each other how we tease the opposite sex, how we do it, and how we don't let them persue us; it's a turn on. Anyway, there is one lie I have kept through this whole relationship, I have had sex with two of my friends, and swear that nothing more than fooling around ever happened between us. Why don't I tell this? Because they ARE SO loving UGLY that I don't want to admit I hosed them (fooling around was bad enough.)

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate putnam, he's a stupid rear end '05 who people only like because he was able to do something I could do when I was twelve - set up a Winamp stream. Also his "updates" are just bullshit because he is losing viewers and needs to recycle his fanbase because all he does is show stupid shows and then re-runs of those.

It's a loving sham. Also one time I ratted out this kid for selling ecstacy, and then a year or two later blatanly lied about it to his face when rolling.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father,

Every time there is a goon "Post your picture!" thread I read every single post, hoping to find a new picture of Classie Lassie or Aerie Faerie to fap to.

I bet they are bitches in real life but I'd let them treat me like poo poo just to lick their shoes.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Me and a bunch of friends used to throw rocks, dirtballs and alot of times glass bottles down a very steep hill onto a concrete walk-way in the woods. We knew people could never run up the hill to catch us so we would try to drill people and rack up points. One time I threw a bottle that smash on the ground in front of two men walking. All I saw was the guys reaction, reeling back and covering his eye. Then he started screaming in russian as his friend helped him. An ambulance and park rangers later came and everything.

My friends laugh about this every once and awhile, and I do too. But sometimes I think, what if I really blinded that poor guy?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think I'm falling in love with a boy and I am terrified to tell him. Especially since I'm scared (but pretty sure) that it would never work out between us (he lives far far away from me). I'm also terrified of the fact that these feelings have come on very strongly and very unexpectedly just recently, and try as I might, I can't seem to do anything to shake them.

I resign myself to the hope that he will say something about it before I have to (since I'm fairly sure that he has some feelings towards me, strength unknown), because as scared as I am, it's getting harder and harder to not say anything.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

There's a kid I know that I used to be friends with until he left college. He always seemed a little troubled, and I found out why after I met his batshit insane mother and his whore of a sister. He was big into anime, and still is. He likes swords, martial arts, role playing, progressive rock...the whole nerd works. Him and I were really good friends for a while; in fact he was one of the cooler kids I first met in college. He was a good 4 years older than me though. He was almost done with college when he royally hosed himself and failed out of the one class he had to pass. His parents made him come home and he left school for a long time. He came back up here later to get an apartment. At first I hung out with him a little, maybe once a week. He was desperate for friends and I was the only person who could stand him, so he called me constantly. For the past 3 years I've been ignoring his calls and making up lies when he manages to run into me. It's not as if I really dislike him, but all of my other friends do. I slowly started to really dislike him more and more and now I basically hate him.

I kind of feel bad for the kid and I strangely feel bad for ignoring him even though I don't like him. Every time he calls (and he calls at least once a day) I get alittle pang in my chest because he really has nobody to hang out with.

I guess Im kind of a dick for ignoring him, but at the same time I feel like I didn't do anything wrong.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a really difficult time believing a guy would ever like me for my mind or for my personality, I always think they just want me for sex. I don't know why I put up with it and I don't know why I don't tell them no, I just want someone to like me .

I'm also tired of guys messaging me from SA and trying to chat me up, I'm not that interested. I know they're not really interested, they're just talking to me because I'm a girl and not because they actually care about me as a person.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I really want to tell Lowtax in graphic detail about how some guy, far in the future, will gently caress the poo poo out of his daughter. Just knock her senseless, some crazy animalistic bestial sex. This may happen when she is a teenager. Every father has to think about that eventually, I thinkmy boyfriend's car was having a problem where there was pressure being put on the back right tire. he didn't have the money to fix it but we went on our trip anyway, even though the mechanics told us not to drive too far and for too long. the tire blew, we replaced it with a donut. it got us to where we needed to be. on the way back the donut blew and it was the middle of the night. we were in the middle of a highway, and to TOP IT OFF the gas ran out (he always waited til the last drat minute to get gas cause he's a cheap rear end). so we start walking to a gas station and i have to pee... i go behind a bush and squat but it dribbles down my leg and onto my panties. "gently caress" i say, i don't wanna wear piss smelling panties! so i just left them near the bush on the side of the road, so i'm walking pantiless with a li'l skirt on. 2 miles later we find a gas station.... we didn't have a gas can but we figured that they'd sell them or someone would have one... wrong. they don't sell them (it was connected to some type of car shop but it was closed due to it being the middle of the night). finally some guy pulls up and we beg to buy his gas can. he's bitchy, so he charges us out the rear end. so much that we barely have enough money to buy a gallon of gas (and this is when gas was cheap, like $1.50). he charged us like 50 bucks for this little plastic gas thingy... and he cackled as he drove away. we walked the 2 miles back to the car (with the blown donut tire) and put our gallon of gas into the tank. i notice that my panties are gone. i dunno if an animal ate them or what. then we clank off to the nearest exit, making horrible scraping noises the entire way, until we find a hotel or a motel. we find one, pull over... and i thought we were gonna spend the night until we could get a tire and some gas, etc. nope, my boyfriend decides he's going to go jack up someone's car, and steal their tire... and i'm the lookout, apparently. i'm like "wtf!" and he said, "i'm sure they have a spare, they're staying at this ritzy hotel!". so he gets this tire and i'm freaking out... we throw the tire in his car and clanketyclank off to a smaller, darker parking lot where we puts the tire on. We got home that night, but that tire ended up blowing too, and i'm sure the people weren't happy to come out to a car with three tires. i still feel guilty about it to this day. and i miss my panties, they were cute.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Hi, im a lurker on the forums.

Im one of the assholes who wouldnt make it on the forums for a minute. Im the kid all of you hate. Ive worked at Abercrombie and Fitch, and am currently employed in Hollister. I Have a Razor phone, and have no respect for women. I have no social problems, i weigh 160 pounds with no visible fat. I have a nice car and go to parties every weekend.

I treat girls like poo poo. My neighbor for over 6 years is a semi attractive one who i hang out with. She has wanted me since the 7th grade. I use her to gently caress all of her friends and meet new ones. She drives me to school so i can save gas money. she buys me clothes at abercrombie so i can use her discount, and i dont pay her back.

I dont know where im going with this. Maybe one day Ill join the forums so i can try to relate to you guys better.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I pick my nose, roll the boogers into little balls, and throw them at my dog, who happily eats them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I prefer to whack off to random internet porn than to have sex with my wife. She used to have a body like a supermodel but now she's fat and gross.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A friend and I made a lemonade stand when we were little and said the proceeds would go to the Red Cross. When we mentioned it to our customers, they would go, "well in that case, give them this *20/10/5 dollar bill*. We didn't give the money to the red cross. We kept it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I piss my bed while sleeping, but only if I drink soda before and if I don't go pee before sleeping. But I still feel like a complete retard.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 28 and have never as much as held hands with a girl. No kissing, hugging, nothing. I've never had a "real" relationship - I had a long distance relationship once at 18 but I don't believe it counts.

I don't know why I'm this way. I'm not bad looking and can be very good company when I'm in the mood. I just prefer being alone most of the time, but that doesn't get you laid.

I'm trying like hell to make something happen now. As you can imagine, the fact that there's a movie called "40 year old virgin" out terrifies me. It's hard when your interests don't center around people at all.

I never even dated until I was 26. Even now I've had only a handful of dates. I just seem to kill off sexual feelings in women.

I feel like a freak for being this way and a fraud for acting like I'm someone I'm not. It beats telling people, 'cause they sure don't look at you the same way after.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Dear Father for I have sinned,

I am an 18 year old female and have been masturbating since I was 9.
When I got my first boyfriend I lied and told him that I had never
done it, and he was the one that "convinced" me to start. Since then I
have taken extreme pleasure in getting boyfriends and becoming a sex
goddess. Let me explain.... I never turn down giving head, I swallow,
I take it in any way, and in every position. I loud, I'm gorgeous, I'm
fun, and I'm skilled.

But the best thing is how quickly they think I can come.

My first boyfriend at one point stated that girls who take forever and
a day are "irritating" and I have since then faked every orgasm with
every guy. In fact, I have become so good at faking that when I
actually get myself off in the presence of a male he doesnt bat an
eye. In an odd way I work so hard at sounding genuine at the end of an
intense lovemaking session I feel spent, so thats nice. Its gotten to
be a mental thing, I tell all my girlfriends about this amazing sex I
have, how its so easy for me to get off, blah blah blah, and I dont
even feel like Im lying. I guess that part is no big deal.

The evil part is how happy I get when I get the call that each one
makes crying about how easy and beautiful is was to satisfy me. That
they want to find a girl that was just like the way I was, and that
they're finding it so hard to find that girl, and is there anything
they can do to either 1) make it up to me 2) make me change my mind
about them. NAH.

So I'm doing the terrible deed of filling the world with men that
honestly believe women are completely satisfied in a meer 16 seconds
of being stimulated, and am enjoying every minute of it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have helped someone goatse.

I fisted my boyfriend's rear end the other day...per his
request of course.

I was also a dominatrix for some time. I would beat
men's genitals until they were too bruised to get
erections comfortably, and then I'd piss on them. And
of course...they would pay me thousands to do it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A few weeks before I left for college, I started to fool around with an ex girlfriend that I knew to still love me. We didn't gently caress or anything, but i get the feeling that we probably would have had I wanted to. I'll admit it, I used her, but it honestly wasn't intentional. I really did feel something for her, but I also feel I can't date her, as I've had nothing but bad things to say about her since we split up. Should she read this and know who I am.... I'm sorry.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Of my two best friends whom I have known through all of college, one is dating a girl who I think is a boring, self center and whiny stinkyhole. The other is dating a smart, funny, attractive girl whom I am secretly in love with to some degree.

Both my friends have been dating these girls for quite some time, and are in what would accurately be described as a serious relationship. I can't tell anyone this, because if any them knew, it would almost certainly result in one or more people feeling angry and betrayed.

These people are my friends, and I am always afraid they will find out or I will say something while drunk, and then they will be ex-friends.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In public bathrooms, I NEVER flush, EVER.
I like to keep a soup going.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago, and whatever the
opposite of coping is, that's what I'm doing. I'm 23, and I don't
think I'll be happy with anyone else for the rest of my life. She was
everything I wanted in a girlfriend, and the only reason she could
give is that she didn't feel that "spark". Her ex-boyfriend was a
complete shitheel who dragged her self-esteem through the dirt for 2
years and probably cheated on her, and the fact that she could be
attracted to someone like that and not me sends me into a fury. If I
met him, I really believe I would beat the poo poo out of him unprovoked.
She's a goon too. If you read this, yeah, now you know how I feel.

Remember the girl on page 2 who bought platinum to meet guys? Same
thing. I would have no objection to meeting a girl through this site,
other than the likely problem of geography and the fact that I'd get
laughed at for it.

I've been reading every confession meticulously, trying to figure out
if I know any of the confessors in real life.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Hmmm, where do I begin with this.



I really don't know why I'm writing this. I guess you
could say that I'm doing it because I want to tell all
the geeks out there that you can indeed overcome that
'fear' of being forward with yourself and the people
in your life. Just don't burn yourself on the hot
stove too many times looking for a life less ordinary.
I do suggest burning yourself a few times though
because it's a hell of a fun process, most times,
especially if debaucherous sex is involved, but we'll
get to that. I guess the most important thing is not
to carry the anger with you. That nasty hate that
makes you want to destroy the world because you've
been discounted, disregarded and ignored by most
people who you secretly want to be just like and you
DO want to be just like them, it's comforting (and
easier) if you admit that to yourself.

Eh, enough with that poo poo, here's some of me..for you:

I lived down south when I was younger. I went to high
school in a typical suburban setting and had typically
suburban friends who I still speak too, albeit rarely,
today. I lived a typical loser/sorta-winner geek life
and I was pretty oblivious to the way things worked up
until my 10th grade year when I realized that although
I was charismatic and personable..and not that bad on
the eyes, my fatness was an impediment that meant I
was never going to experience the 'exploration' phase
that so many of my dear friends and acquaintances were
experiencing. I took it in stride though, but it got
worse. It got to the point where I got dissed by my
male friends because I was seen as a cock block for
being so fat so they wouldn't invite me to parties
that all my friends were going to be at. Mind you I
would have taken bullets for these kids, these
friends. They were the only thing that I had other
than my father that I truly loved because my home life
was hectic to say the least due to my mother being a
sauce loving pirate after 3 in the afternoon. My
friends, the people that I loved above almost all
else, did this to me. They thought I didn't know what
was going on (which was even more insulting) and a
little part of me began to die a slow death. That's
when things started to get kind of dark.

The 'Internet' at this point (early-mid nineties) was
a wet dream in someone elses imagination but the
framework was already there, more specifically:
usenet. At the time AOL had a sister service called
GNN that was pretty much all Usenet all the time and I
immediately used one of the credit card generators my
friend gave me to get an account. Porn up until that
point was something of a rarity. We used to get it
from the corner store, but it was work, none of this
one click, TITS!, nonsense. Make a long story short,
Alt.fan.cock-sucking became one of my favorite forums
and I stumbled upon my first dose of gay porn.

Now, I had seen porn before and I could get hard with
women (and still do I'm solidly bi) but this stuff
made me excited as well. Lots of young guys, some not
legal, with hardons, loving and sucking. I noticed a
stamp on one of the pictures and I managed to trace it
back to a guy name Halvor's site in Norway. All he had
was pics of young gay guys (not kiddie, but I would
say it had underage guys) free for anyone to look at.
I loved them and would jerk off constantly,
fantasizing about how I'd suck their cocks while
loving women.

A couple years of this went by and I went to college.
I was away from home at a very large southern
university with half the population of my high school
friends attending. I never quite fit into the whole
Dawson's Creek set, of which most of the school's
population came from. I did, however, discover the
glory of the M4M chatrooms. I would talk to other
curious guys like me online and then we'd meet on
secluded parts of the campus and suck each other off.
The first sexual contact (involving genitals) of my
life was swallowing a guy's cock on a field about 300
feet from a dorm. I even let him cum in my mouth and,
in turn, he did the same. Heh, first real sexual
action and I take it to the extreme, so typical, but
anyways.. We kind of stood there afterwards and said
'Well, that was cool ' and went our separate ways.
This became a theme. Probably my fondest memory was a
hispanic kid I met in the rooms. He had a big cock
like mine and I worshiped it. He didn't care that I
was fat and I can honestly say now that I loved him
for it. One time (in the same field that I lost it)
we went to the back where the creek was and they were
doing construction. Completely dark, several hundred
feet from the nearest building we stripped naked and
went at it. I could hear the alligators in the creek
below growling and it seemed perfectly carnal. It was
so hot being in the humidity and the heat, dicks and
balls hanging low rubbing up against each other. We
ended up sitting on the seat of this front loader
facing the dorm with him jamming my cock in his rear end
reverse cowgirl style. I watched as his rear end bounced up
and down on my shaft and all I could think was "I want
more".

And more I would go out and get.

College didn't fare so well so my sophmore year I had
to leave because my electives had dragged me down to
the point where I would have never been able to get
into the upper division of my choice. hosed, I went
back to my hometown about 100 miles and 2 hours south.
I hooked up with a couple of my old friends, one of
which was a chick who I consider my first true love. I
loved this girl in that sappy 'you don't know any
better' kind of way and here she was wanting to be my
'friend'. Being the pussy with women that I was, I
went along with this and I immediately became dad and
junior psychologist all at the same time. The dude she
was dating was an ex con with a powder habit and he
must have rocked her world something good because
she'd make the excuses for him. Yeah, she was young,
but whatever. It killed my heart a little bit at a
time to realize that she would never love me because
of my own ineffectiveness, my own inability to be what
she wanted..or so I thought. I became angrier and
angrier and started withdrawing. Then, the party phase
began.

At the time I was working in an office with a literal
sea of early 20 somethings and I got turned on to the
party scene which was going quite strong across the
USA at the time and moreso in the place that I lived.
Any drug you wanted you could get in quanitity for
cheap and I began to experiment. The first time I
dropped a pill was in 1997. Coincidentally, the first
time I got head from a girl (and more) was a day or
two after that first drop. A girl that my sister knew,
14 at the time, came by when my family happened to be
on vacation. It was probably 120 degrees with the heat
index and she was sweating bullets so I asked her to
come inside and get a drink. She wasn't quite
'normal'. Kind of quiet and angry looking for a 14
year old girl. Brunette, cute if she actually tried
but she was totally ungroomed, stood about 5 foot but
she had one special trait: Tits that had to be at
least triple F size. I poo poo you not, I have probably
seen like 3 sets of natural tits that were this big
since. At fourteen, they defied gravity, but that's
besides the point, I had to put my hands on them.

Something right there when she was standing in the
kitchen, covered in sweat, broke in me and all I could
see in my head was 'gently caress it'. I realized that I wanted
to put my cock, somewhere, didn't matter where, in
this girl. I got her a drink and asked her if she
wanted to watch some TV. We got to talking about
another one of my sister's friends who was a ho and,
make a long story short, shortly after that she was
sucking my cock. Hesitant at first, I guided her head
and showed her how to do it (I knew by the point how
to do it right, personally ). We ended up on my
parents bed with me titty loving her.I put lotion on
her tits and started thrusting, thinking about the
debauchery that I had seen at the party a day
previous. I can still remember the stink of
perspiration as I peeled her clothes off and the look
of slight surprise as I shot on her face after loving
those luscious tits. I just sat back on the pillows
and lit a cigarette not really giving a gently caress at that
point. She just laid there. I asked if she was OK and
if anything was wrong, she said no and was fine. We
ended up going into the shower where I soaped her down
and cleaned her up. I got hard again while we were
showering and she sucked my cock again in the shower.
This time I shot all over her face. Being 20 at the
time I told her that she really shouldn't say anything
about it and she agreed. The next day she came back
and that could mean only one thing: She was as curious
as I (secretly) was and wanted more.

So more I gave her.

I didn't end up loving her until about 6 months later
when my family again went on vacation. I used to meet
her at her house because her parents were deadbeats
and we'd end up loving around with her mom passed out
drunk on the back porch. Her dad was nowhere to be
found.

Speaking of her mom, she was one of those 40 something
hispanic ladies that you see who dress way too
suggestively for their age. She practically had a
closet full of stripper gear. clear acrylic platforms,
skin tight tube dresses, g string thongs, the whole
mess. I used to take Tits (we'll call her that) and
dress her up in her mom's clothes. Her mom being
another shorty like her made the fit perfect. The
course progressed pretty evenly, I never 'forced'
anything but asked her if she'd like to try this and
that and she was up for all of it. In effect, I was
being 'Dad' and teaching her, a notion that got me
rock hard every single time. She started smoking pot
(and having sex) through her friends which opened to
more things and one night she found my funbox (where I
kept all my personal use poo poo, I was dealing at the
time, but we'll get to that) in my room when my house
was empty except for her and I. A friend of mine that
I had a regular cock swap with had turned me on to a
substance called Amyl Nitrite, poppers as they're
known on the street. Gay and Bi males use them to
'loosen' up the orifices for easier insertion. We
smoked a J and she took the bottle and asked me what
it was. I told her that you sniffed it and it made you
horny and she immediately wanted to try it. The first
dose drat near put her out. She was dizzy and got
nauseous so I took her to the bathroom and sat by her
just in case she had to puke but she never did. After
about 15 minutes I got her a glass of water and we
went back into the bedroom. She just laid on the bed
giggling as I rolled another J. She rolled over onto
her side, facing me and asked me for more.

So more I gave her.

She had brought a particularly hot number of her
mother's over, this neon green mesh tube dress that
was pretty much street illegal in most states and a
pair of spiked sky high sandals as well as other
things that we would eventually party with. She got
dressed up and then we moved to the back room where
the TV was. I flipped on the TV and she took another
tiny dose of the Amyl and sat back next to me on the
couch. I started touching her and she began sucking my
cock. I flipped on a porno and she just kept going. I
can still see her face in that blue light trying to
get her mouth around my cock, fumbling a bit at first
because of the size. I can still see that face as she
went from curious to pro. The first time she licked my
shaft up and down, the first time she caused herself
to accidentally gag on it..The first time she took my
balls in her mouth all in that odd blueish TV light.

The whole situation over the next 4 days became
surreal. She slept over each night and would go home
during the day. We'd watch porno and it pretty much
went from vanilla Vivid fare to hardcore, multiple
penetration Private numbers. On the second night we
hosed for the first time, I can still feel how tight
and sweet it felt. I can also still remember a single
flashpoint of complete sorrow and dread pulse over me
as my cock head pushed her sex apart for the first
time immediately drowned out by the complete state of
perverse disgusting being I was at that point. There
was no way I was getting in, so I ended up fingering
her quite a bit to loosen her up, the amyl also helped
with this. I got in later in the night and we had some
unsatisfying sex. It sucked, but we kept trying (and
huffing amyl) and by the 4th night I was able to get
in. We hosed and did drugs that whole night pretty
much non stop. By the end I was hitting it doggy
(slowly, of course) and seriously considering anal.
That, however, was to be for much later.

So I had finally done it. I was going on 21 and had
deflowered a girl of 14 and pretty much used her Daddy
complex against her over the course of a few months to
turn her into a whore.

I cried for the next few days with guilt at the
monster that I had become, but when I sat there and
stared at the ceiling only one thing went through my
head: I want more.

And more I would get.


I had started dealing drugs at the same time this was
all happening. It started small, a few nickel bags of
pot here and there to make cash on top of what I was
getting from the office (which wasn't much, insulting
considering this was boom time and we were in the tech
industry). The debauchery only got worse but this time
I was in charge. I..was the man. I had started losing
quite a bit of weight and lifting quite a bit to get
stronger. Girls (in my age group) were noticing and I
had Tits on the side (who kept things surprisingly
discreet). I was making money, destroying lives and
enjoying the hell out of it.

Loser loving geek all growns up.

That's enough for now. Maybe I'll write more sometime
because the drug stories are just too long for me to
concentrate now.

--Southern Pervert.

( I do hope the copy and paste worked properly,
Notepad is loving up on the wordwrap tip tonight ).

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have been very successful at designing console graphics engines. Unfortunately, my employer chose to hire a bunch of talentless new management and have us proven performers get micromanaged into the earth by the aforementioned people. If the most technically and artistically competent renderer on earth fell out of the sky and landed on their conference table, they would flat-out reject it in an instant for not conforming to their unrealistic and out-of-touch MAX renders, and then issue performance warnings for all involved. God forbid management put someone with the remotest bit of expertise in charge of his area.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a straight 27 year old male, but sometimes I wish I could just wake up tomorrow as like, a 12 year old girl. It's not sexual at all, I just think that knowing what I do I could do much better if I had another go at it all as a girl. I'm not even dissatisfied with being a guy. I'm tall, athletic, intelligent, and good looking (though going slightly bald these days). I get plenty of women; I've hosed married women, cheated on plenty of girlfriends, and generally have a good loving time at life. I've travelled the world, speak a couple of languages, and have a nice sailboat. But for some reason, the thought of starting over as a little girl holds some sort of appeal for me. Maybe it's just curiosity and I wouldn't like it once I had experienced it. I don't know. I'd just like to get a chance to be all cute and girly or something, go back through school with a different perspective. Does this make me transgendered? I don't think so. I think its just perhaps curiosity towards something the exact opposite of what I am and how I grew up. Its hard to explain. I guess to put it very simply, I want to be a cute little girl.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I led a very sheltered childhood, and knew next to
nothing of anything sexual. I saw my first penis when
I was 17, about two weeks before I lost my virginity,
and I was afraid of it. I didn't want to touch it, or
put in in my mouth, or anything. I wanted it to go
away. But it didn't. And looking back on that now, I'm
glad it didn't. I ended up loving cock so much, that
he couldn't keep up.

Because of my sheltered-ness, I didn't know any terms
for anything sexual. I still don't. Any time someone
says "hummer," or "spit roast" I have to look it up
because I have no loving idea what you're talking
about.

When all the boys were discovoring porn, and the girls
learning what their being female can do, I was inside
studying. I kind of wish I could go back, and go out
more, and learn everything when everyone else did. But
then I remember that if I changed, I would've probably
ended up a frigid bitch who won't put out, even for
her own bf.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in preschool I let a kid stick a crayon up my pussy. My mom caught us. It was uncomfortable (the crayon, I mean. I didn't know that I had done anything wrong at that point. We haven't dicussed it).

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a thing for glasses. They don't turn me on sexually, but if I girl has them, I'm like 100x as attracted to her as I would be if she didn't.

That and black hair. Especially straight hair that has been dyed black. I don't care how 'emo' or 'goth' it looks. I love it.

I feel like a jerk for being superficial like this, but I am.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i have cheated on my girlfriend three times. they all happened when i went to college and they were one night stands with girls i met off the internet. i haven't told anyone. two of the girls are now friends but they don't know i've slept with both of them.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a sex addict with high standards.

I need sex, affection and praise from an attractive woman constantly,
and only attractive women.
I end up screaming at myself. Punching things out of pure rage.
I'm attractive and rich and have a lot to offer a woman. But I can't
initiate a conversation. I am obsessed. It's all I think about. I
spend a few hundred a month on strippers. Then I get depressed that I
have to pay women to pay attention to me.
I usually go home and masturbate a few times out of anger and cry
myself to sleep.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

1. Watching people post about how they were in junior
high during 9/11 makes me understand why SA is dying
(you all know it's true). It's not the 05ers or the
04ers that are slowly sucking the verve from SA - It's
anyone born after 1987. We need an oldtimers forum.
OBS - old bull poo poo.

2. I realise I have become the internet equivalent of
a cranky old man. Get away from my fence.

3. Lowtax is fine, he's just not trying anymore. He's
got a wife and kid now. Good luck to him. And kudos to
him for allowing this thread.

4. Reading goon confessions makes me feel oddly
normal. Some of you people are hosed up, but good
luck with that poo poo anyway.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Upon starting the relationship with my current girlfriend I was so freaking nervous I couldn't maintain an errection (I really liked her a whole bunch and I felt more nervous than when I lost my virginity, at one point I even felt I needed to puke), so I had to go to the doctor and get viagra type medication... he was really good about it and gave me free samples. I personally thought he'd look at the 21 year old sitting in his office trying to get errection medication and call it a fraud.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me Joe Pesci, for I have sinned.


I am half asian and I am the most racist anti-asian person I have ever met. I guess self loathing is the correct term. I wish I was totally white.

I have a stupid e-crush on a female goon. I read her posts and try and figure out ways to quote what she said and start a conversation. It has worked once or twice.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me Zeus, for I have sinned. I am 24 years old, and it has been 13 years since my last confession.


I may have never laughed hard at GBS, but I almost exclusively post there. I find FYAD to consistantly be one of the funniest things ever. They called me a enjoyable human being though.

I have hooked up with 3 girls from MySpace. I am vocally against those blog things and meeting girls on the internet but I have a Myspace and I could not function without it. I have been smack dab in the middle of this "MySpace Drama" that every one here laughs at.

I take the internet far too seriously sometimes. Sometimes an argument or troll or whatever will stay in my mind for a day or two. I am scared to post a thread in GBS because I'm afraid it'll suck. I also giggle when someone cool quotes me. The Mayor, 666, ScootsMagoo, Dr. Lemonfresh, Lacey, TheSwami. I yurn for pretend acceptance. I have slowly lost friends over the last 3 years do to everyone I know getting married. I try and fill the void with fake internet people.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in middle school some friends and I toilet-papered a nearby house and practically ruined their front porch. We used a good twenty or so rolls to coat their only tree in the front yard and then used the remaining rolls to make a giant heart in the middle of the yard. It was near St. Valentine's Day.

We then took a bunch of household cleaners and poured them all over the porch. Drano. Windex. Comet. Dish soap. We emptied every last bit and used the harsher chemicals for the door. I had some toothpaste on my and used that to make designs like smiley faces on the railings.

After we ravaged their house we all went back home for the night. A few hours later the cops knocked on my door and demanded to see a sample of my toothpaste. Of course I grabbed a different tube and denied the whole thing, because I was (supposed to be) babysitting that night. Parents weren't home, so I got off with no further questions. Unfortunately one of my friends was a moron and left the bag that had the remaining rolls of TP out for his mom, a police officer, to find.

Needless to say we all got caught and bargained with the family to clean up the mess and do some yard work for them. The day we were supposed to do the work I skipped out because I felt I wouldn't have had to do anything if my friend didn't leave the evidence out.

-----

I also bought a really expensive, 1000 FPS BB gun a few months ago and use it frequently to shoot the geese that are on the lake near my house. They crap on the lawn and wake me up in the morning. With the attached 3X-9X scope I've become a pretty damned good shot with it and can hit most objects from a long distance.

Recently I went on a shooting spree when there were about thirty on the lake. Usually hitting them in the rear end doesn't do anything since their primary feathers are so dense, but I must have hit one wrong because about five minutes later I heard a high-pitched honk and saw one in my neighbor's yard stumbling around. It would take four or five short, harsh steps and then shake its head around like it was trying to get something off of it. I noticed a mix of crimson in its white feathers around its upper chest area near the neck and knew I had gone too far. gently caress.

Seeing this, the other geese had made their way back into the lake and watched as their friend collapsed through the wooded area, into the lake, and up into a shaded tributary. I quickly grabbed my gun and followed it upstream.

It pushed as far as it could through all of the debris that clogged the stream until it reached an area with some dense brush. I sat there for a few minutes, just staring at it, its beady black eyes staring right back into mine. We never broke our stares. I knew what had to be done. I broke the barrel on the gun and loaded a round into it. The goose must have known too because it started to scramble frantically up one side of the stream bank, getting tangled in some of the sticker vines.

I took aim through the scope and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened so I shot again, drawing closer to make sure this would end quickly. It took six shots to complete the task before it stopped writhing, all the while its neck twisting and rolling itself wildly in all sorts of odd goose-neck positions.

I sat there for a few more minutes, staring at the body. I walked back to my house, washed myself off, and put the gun away. I hope I get an extra hot pit in hell for the harm I did to that poor goose.

I haven't touched the gun since.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think femme lesbians and girls kissing are really hot. And I'm a girl,
and definitely straight. And I'm embarassed about this because I don't want
to be a hypocrite- I think it's silly when guys think lesbians are hot.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a sexual psychopath. When I see a girl, I like to imagine how blood
curling her scream could be. I try to think what her face would like when
she's being raped. I so badly want to kidnap a women or ambush a hottie in a
wooded area and simply beat and surprise sex her. I want to break her bones and make
her bleed. I want to cut her and rip her tongue out. Or cut out her liver
and eat it. I've lived with these fantasies since around fifth or six grade.
I have trouble pinning down the time. I once physically abused a cat for a
period of months. Never enough to kill or even injure it. It was just about
power over another creature. That's what sexual psychopathy is all about.
Power over another creature. I love and my violent tendencies because it
makes me feel unique. But ironically at the same time I became enraged when
I have difficulty controlling them. Its like they control me and only I want
to have the power.

I search the newspaper and news for stories of surprise sex or serial murder. I
also enjoy downloaded surprise sex and murdered women photos from goregasm and look
at them at later times, enjoying them. I can control these urges now but
they are getting stronger. For the past year or so I've driven past houses I
know have a hot girl living in them, and want to secretly watch the house,
learn the layout, the people in it, then kidnap the women.

These urges are getting near the point where fantasy becomes a reality. I
didn't choose to have this mind and that's what pisses me off.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm in my early 30s and make $80K, but I feel like an absolute failure. Never had a relationship--never even kissed a girl--because I'm paralyzed with the knowledge that if I approach a girl I like (and there have been some of those) she'll reject me so hard that I'll have to up and move away out of shame. It doesn't help that I don't know people outside of a professional setting.

I also wonder how many of my friends are really my friends and which ones are pity friends. I think some of them are fed up with me, but I don't know how to change.

I have a running litany: /me you're an idiot. /me you're a retard. /me you're a failure. /me you're so stupid. etc.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think I've fallen in love with a girl I've only seen twice. She sat
beside me on the bus to work this morning, and she was the most
beautiful girl I've ever seen. I'm debating timing my trip tomorrow
so that I get the same bus in the hopes that she'll sit beside me
again. I really want to talk to her, but I don't know her name or the
first thing about her, and I really have no idea what I would say that
wouldn't sound completely creepy coming from a total stranger.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

One more 'cus this feels good. I hate Jews. I hate them a lot. I don't consider myself a racist because I don't hate anyone else, just jews. Sure the holocaust happened and it was bad and all, but 6 million people?? Hardly. Half a million, maybe one million tops. Get over it though. Stop calling everyone who doesn't like Israel an anti-semite. Stop preaching tolerance unless you're going to hold yourselves to the same standards. If you live in and were born in America then call yourself a loving american, no more of this Israel first poo poo, you whiney douchebags. Don't criminalize muslims when your own religion is full of hatred for non-jews. You're a loving virus.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate my brothers girlfriend. Chances are, they will be getting married, but I literally cannot
stand her. Words cannot describe the hatred I feel towards this girl.

-- I've been cheating Unemployment. While collectioning unemployment you're not supposed
to be working or if you do, you're supposed to report so it can balance out your recieved payment.
I've been working under the table for the whole summer. It's not that I don't want to find a new job,
it's just that after busting my rear end for a company for nearly 4 years only to be laid off for good,
I decided it was time for the "Summer Of Me". Besides working twice a week under the table,
I've been improving my golf game, going to the bars nearly every other day or so, playing video
games and watching movies. The way I see it, I will never have the chance to do it again, so why
not!

-- While I love my girlfriend very much, I've cheated on her while she has been away (including a fiend of mine) and she's not back for another few more months. However, I constantly belittle people who cheat.

-- When we, the guys, go out to the bars, I constantly find a group of girls who appear to be single
and always make the move on the 2nd best looking girl in the group. Why the 2nd best looking girl,
you may ask? Simple, most girls have a complex about their "hot friend" who always gets the guy.
The 2nd best, or sometimes 3rd, will always be willing to be picked up, just because it makes her
feel better and rubs it in her friends face a little bit. I know this. I use this to my advantage constantly.
Of course, I use this for what I want for the night and fall off the face of the world afterwards.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I kissed my cousin in seventh grade....alot

I had a guy give me head in 8th grade

That guy was my brother

I set my house on fire when i was ten, and my parents still think it was an electrical fire

I once backed into a concrete post in my dad's brand new bmw, so i got onto the highway and went 80, then slammed on my brakes so someone would rear end me, the guy that hit me ended up gettign serious brain damage from hitting his head on the steering wheel

I once chased a bird into the road only to watch it get ran over by a car...i couldn't stop laughing

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a bunch of people on my Buddy List who have no idea who the gently caress I am.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 25 years old and not only am a virgin but have never had anything
remotely describable as a girlfriend. I have been lying to my friends
about my sexual history for years. There's no mystery about why,
either, as I'm quite overweight. gently caress overweight, I'm fat. Not
ToasterThief fat, but not far off, either. Even outside of that, I
have a small penis and so harbor a fear of giving some woman an
unpleasant suprise if and when I get my trousers off. I don't meet
many women in my daily routine and hate going to bars, and in general
see no real possibility of having sex with anyone in the forseeable
future.

The thing is, the prospect of perpetual virginity doesn't bother me
anywhere near as much as it probably should. I could probably lose
weight, but can't seem to muster the will to do so.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

For the past year or so, I have been suffering from
'Intrusive Thoughts' relating to the mutilation of my
penis. Basically what happens is this: I'll be
enaging in some activity, reading the internet,
talking with people, or working at my job, when out of
nowhere I involuntarily visualise my penis being cut
off with scissors, attacked with razor blades,
guillotined, eaten by cannibals, spit-roasted over
fire, and much, much worse, if you can imagine it, I
already have. This happens to me on an almost daily
basis, and no matter what I try, I can't stop it.
It used to be debilitating to the point where
sometimes I would have to make excuses to leave the
room, or otherwise I would convulse in place at the
disgusting imagery in my head. I now believe it
originated with a series of pictures I regret seeing
of a man cutting off his penis with rubber bands and a
razor, or something to that effect, and for some
reason my mind insists on torturing me with this
theme.
Lately I've been able to counteract it by imagining
a rod or a plank zooming in, stopping the blades of
the scissors or guillotine just in the nick of time,
but sometimes my mind just keeps making me revisit the
scene in such a rapid succession that the plank or rod
misses and then the inevitable happens, and I shudder
every time. I hope one day this will stop, it isn't
enjoyable and I am not desensitised to it at all.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Where to start.

I abused the gently caress out of this job that I had 2 years ago.

First I lied about my hours for about 25 hours of overtime a week.

I took the company suv home every night for about 2 months.

I stole $400 the last month I worked there.

Me and my friends used an unused apartment that the company had on lease for an extra month while nobody was living there. We partied, got hosed up and played lots of multiplayer halo.

The next job I scamed them out of well over $1000 in the course of the 10 months I worked there.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

bwahahahaha
would you mind removing my name from my confessional?
I apparently left my sig on when I emailed you.

Jane Doe

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

when i was 16 i stole 1200 dollars from my job, and that very night after work, called the "anonymous tip line" and said i saw the store manager taking it. I took another 2000 the next day, and repeated, but did it in a different voice. The guy got fired and committed suicide, all cuz i wanted a car.

I wrecked my car 27 hours after i had it

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have enjoyed watching Azumanga Daioh more than all of David Lynch's films, with the exception of Blue Velvet and the first scene with flying Baron Harkonen in Dune.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm the co-host of a very successful syndicated radio show. I get
great ratings in most of the major US markets. I guess I'm somewhat of
a famous person. I've typed up some pretty cool threads about the work
I do, but I end up not posting in fear of coming off as a cocky
douchebag. Sorry goons

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I cut myself on a pretty regular basis. It's become something of an addiction. I'm not an emofag, though, and I'm not looking for attention. I started because I wanted to know, first hand, why a friend of mine was doing it. Probably a stupid thing to do, but I did it. The answer: it felt loving good, and took my mind off of everything that was troubling me. I don't plan on stopping.

I later carved this friend's name into my leg, just to hurt her. This was after we both mutually agreed to stop. I sent her a picture of it. To make matters worse, she thought the picture was a drawing I was doing for her, until she opened it up... needless to say, she was more than a little upset.

I still haven't forgiven myself for it, and I never will. Her name is still scarred on my leg.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a secretly troubled 20 year old male virgin.

I have many problems with social interactions and relationships. The problem is that during my junior high and high school years I spent way too much time on the internet and involved in nerdy things, which didn't leave much time for social interaction or girlfriends. This all started when I discovered Sim City 2, after begging my mother to buy me my first computer. (A Macintosh PowerPC) I remember blowing off my best friend many times when he would ask me to do something just so I could spend hours playing Sim City 2. This continued on through most of high school in which I avoided most social contact and developed a hard to crack defensive emotional shell. I have never had a deep relationship with ANYBODY. I have always felt guilty about spending too much time on the computer but I have since learned so much from it. Through most of school I was considered the smart kid and extremely hated it when somone mentioned it. I also hate when my family or anyone mentions that I spend time using the computer.

Since I stopped hanging out with my friend he has become one of the most socially intelligent people I have ever known, I secretly envy him since I started hanging out with him again during my senior year. I since then regret all of the time I spent wasting away on the internet and useless video games when I could have spent building my character, social life and having a great time. I am usually too critical of myself and fear that if I share my opinion with anyone "IRL" they will reject it and I will be outcasted--even though this has never happened. I actually used to be funny, now I have trouble laughing.

I see my self as an empty soul with no character or emotion, because I just never work up the balls to really show my true self and it makes me sick. Sometimes I notice myself picking up the traits of the people around me and I try to be as sober and different as possible.

I know that every ounce of my true character would show if I just met the right woman. I pray to god often to give me the only thing I ever truely wanted in my life; A woman who understands me and that I can share everything with. I never share any of my personal thoughts or problems with anyone. I believe the only reason I have not been able to have a girlfriend is because of my social inexperience. There were many points in my life I realize I made a mistake that could have changed that fact, times where I could have taken that next step but was just too chickenshit to do it. I often feared that people would think I was gay because I never had a girlfriend... but that is definetly not the case.

The closest I have ever been to sexual relation is my hand. However, I did once (at about age 9) convince my mom's friend's daughter (who was also about 9) to take off her shirt and I kissed her chest... but only because I had just seen it in a movie that day and was curious. Her mom walked in and told us to stop, but when she left we continued on... she came back a second time and that's when she told my mom and she told me to stop so we did. I never talked about it with the girl, my mom, or her friend again. We were young though, and I didn't know what any of that meant. I don't think this even contributed to my problems because I never thought about it, and I don't have any weird taste in porn or any fetishes. I may occasionally try a new thing but it quickly gets old. The only thing that actually gets me off is seeing a woman have an orgasm or feel great pleasure, and if I ever do have sex (haha :[) I know the only reason I would do it is not just to pleasure me, but to see the other person be pleasured more.

I know that I really should have no problem being a 'normal' person. I am attractive, clean, and smart. However I seriously lack the ability to show my character... and I have since been on the road to recovery. I have never really hated being in a social situation surrounded by many people, I actually love it a LOT, but I also handle them better drunk, lol. I just have never had that many opportunities because of my seclusion.

I am deeply troubled with my situation, but would never be so depressed as to think of suicide. I have, however, cried myself to sleep about once every three months thinking about it, and I secretly love "drama/romance" movies. My favorite movie is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I cried many times while watching that movie.

So now I go off to college, and I picked a degree I am not fully happy with the stigma I think it will carry. I have picked computer science. I actually am not going for the learning as much as I am the experience. The people, and the party's, mainly... because I usually am able to show my character when I am drunk because I obviously feel much looser and feel that I am inching closer to the normal me. I have never gotten out of control with my drinking, and I don't drink often. However since arriving about a week and a half ago I have made no friends and my classes start tomorrow. I have not been to a single party or gathering and I see people all around me in the apartments I live in doing it. Sometimes I wonder if there is a magic pill I can take to make me normal.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think about my ex-girlfriend every day. She is probably the worst person I've ever met and is toxic to me but I can't help but love her with all my heart. I cry when I listen to songs about loving someone who will never love you back, and think they speak directly to me. However I've done very hosed up things to her, which I should never be forgiven for. I told my friends about the abortion she got once when we had a fight, which I promised I never would do. I convinced her to have sex with me in hopes of driving a wedge between her and her boyfriend of 3 years.

I know this is boring but it still makes me sad even though I tell everyone I'm very over her.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

I am not a goon, but I read GBS like it's an addiction. Whenever I
get the "please register!" screen after I've used too much bandwidth
or whatever, I just move to a different computer. I've been like this
for a year and a half.

One day I'll spend the ten bucks, but until then I'm just a wannabe.

oh also p.s. one time i got head in a tent.
a tent that was full of my friends.
one of them was unintentionally touching my shoulder while it happened
(he was sleeping).
i never told anyone.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I check the post histories of Tienshin and Kobalt. They almost always have something interesting to say and I enjoy reading their posts. I don't have crushes on them. They just interest me. I've never interacted with either of them on the forum and I doubt they even know I exist. I don't think I ever will try to talk to either of them. I'll just watch quietly from the shadows.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Drug dealing ex lover/hater again, wanted to keep confessing

Sometimes when I'm high I steal ten or twenty bucks from my best friends wallet. Only when I'm really high on oxycontin though. I don't know why I do this, I have more petty cash than him so it makes no sense. I think it's due to some low lying jealousy over the fact that his family is rich and he drives a cool car and I came from a hosed up family and can't use the money I make off of drugs because I'm paranoid my bank account is being watched. So I put huge piles of cash on the side and tell myself I'm 'saving' it but end up slowly pissing it all away and stealing from my best friend when Im high.

A female friend who I was very close to is getting engaged to a guy who I'm also friends with. I was too chickenshit to make a move and now he has her. Deep down I hate myself for being slow and him for being fast.

My mom beat the poo poo out of me when I was little. She bent metal spatulas, broken wooden combs and mop handles, used belts, her fists, etc. The excuse she uses is that she was sick, on mediations herself, stressed, etc. I look her in the eye and tell her I love her and she believes it, but in my head I rejoiced when she got cancer and cried when she beat it. Everytime something bad happens to her I do a jig and I can't wait for that stinkyhole to go down

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When Integral revealed herself to be completely insane and hosed Lowtax over, I laughed and clapped. Why? Because everyone had their heads so far up that bitches rear end when she was here that it wasn\'t even loving funny. I remember she posted a pic of hers in one of the old HAY GUYS RATE MY PHOTO!?>?>! attention whore threads, and I had the unmitigated gall to give her a 6 in one and the 7 in the other. That\'s better than average and she was no supermodel. Drama bomb drops, she ends up tearing into me and degrading my looks even though I said nothing of hers, I post a rant thread and get banned. Lowtax of course did nothing because he was probably rawdogging her as she typed away.

Newsflash to everyone here: The mods to a man are inefecient and useless, the whole concept of moderation especially the dreaded SASS is a joke. With the money Lowtax makes on this site, he should ban the mods and hire independent moderators. They shouldn\'t be allowed to post and there should be a strict set of guidelines for them to use, not their own judgement. With the current system there is no loving objectivity or freedom of speech. I should be allowed to pay my ten bucks and call Mayor Wilkins a self obsessed wanker with an ego the size of a zeppelin and not get banned.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

First off, this thread is making me stay up way too loving late.
Goddamn you.

Second off, I really really want to gently caress a good friend's girlfriend. I
made out with her this summer, and it was great but I think it was just
a one-time thing. However, I really want to get high with her and mess
around again. I'm not a total rear end in a top hat though, at least I feel bad about
it; they've been together for like over a year now.
It's making me stay up late too.

Pimpsolo fucked around with this message at Aug 23, 2005 around 19:13

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My Grandmother has always been a nasty, manipulative and jealous
woman. I can't remember her being any other way. My earliest memories
of her are when I'm about six years old, visiting my Father's house
(my folks are divorced) and he'd basically force us to spend a few
minutes chatting with her on the phone. She did nothing but complain
about whatever was pissing her off at the time, and I'd stare at my
Dad until he'd finally let me get off the phone and get back to Super
Nintendo.

She moved from her original home (New Jersey) to where my family lives
(New Hampshire). She moved because she was lonely (her husband died,
both her sons moved away and started lives of their own) and utterly
incapable of making any friends.

Now that she's moved here, she is furious that my entire family isn't
visiting with her every day of the week. She can't deal with the
solitude she's built up for herself, and she expects the rest of my
family to compensate for her own social inadequacies.

She is deceitful and manipulative. She has actively tried to ruin
every relationship my Uncle or Father has ever had with a woman,
because she cannot stand the thought of her sons loving anyone besides
her. I have witnessed this first hand, she actively tries to ruin the
one woman who makes my Dad happy.

She has recently been diagnosed with dementia, which the doctors say
explains (some of) her behavior. This condition is degenerative ,and I
can see it getting worse steadily. It won't be long before she's in a
nursing home, because she is unable to take care of herself (she
forgets to take her medication, forgets to bathe, etc etc) and we are
incapable of babysitting her while trying to maintain our own lives.

I doubt there will be more than 10 people at her funeral. I know I
won't cry. I'll probably be happy and relieved when she's finally
dead. I don't love her. I don't think I ever did.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Bless me father, for I have sinned.

I enjoy looking at guro

I change my accent slightly when I talk to people of other ethnicities, to mirror their speech, and I feel like I am mocking them.

I lied to my mother about doing drugs

I have deceived someone into thinking I am a girl online; even though I have Gender Dysphoria, I feel as if I am lying

I enjoy some furry pornography

I am bisexual

I have deluded myself into thinking I was a vampire

I rejected God in my heart

I renounced religion, yet have not told anyone

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been dating a girl for almost 4 years, we are now engaged, I love
her to death, but... Our sex life is poo poo. We used to gently caress like
rabbits for the first year. Now I'm extremely lucky to get laid once a
month. To make matters worse, she sucks (not literally) in bed. She
just lays there, always wanting missionary and refuses to give or take
oral sex.
I often think back to "lost chances" for love at the end of high
school. This girl I knew in high school professed her love for me at
the end of senior year, she tried on many occasions to kiss me but I
always moved away or left the scene. It was a combination of fear,
shyness and who knows what else, but now I regret it.
Whatever, enough e/n.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I spend an unhealthy amount of time each day reading the forums and posting in FYAD. I justify it by saying other people watch TV, I use the internet instead.

It pisses me off seeing every Lowtax thread make it to 85 pages, particularly his award-winning parody threads (the ones where he humorously rhymes the word "what" with "butt") as every pathetic sycophant in FYAD rushes to post what amounts to "HEY LOWTAX LOOK AT ME!"

It's also pretty funny seeing Lowtax whine when people complain about his stupid changes like the forum index or the Filecloud ad. Gee, who would have thought the largest collection of jaded internet users ever assembled in one place would hate ads???

The only gimmick more unfunny than Dinosaur Jerk is Moof.

It's amazing how many FYAD posters profess to hate GBS but secretly read it all the time and don't mind copying and pasting whatever poo poo they find to make fun of in FYAD.

EPG is a pretty good admin but I find it hard to believe he wants people to spam his vanity book on other forums for prizes!

Also I hit a baby carriage with my bike when I was 7.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have done some pretty sad things in my life. I don't have a huge sex drive, I find that I normally am happy with once a week. All my friends think I'm a quiet guy.
The only problem is I find my self getting into situations where I end up cheating on my girlfriend at the time. My first girl, I slept with 2 of her friends who never told her. The one after I slept with 4 other women while I was dating her, 2 of them had husbands.
The other bad thing I did was sleep with one of my good friends girlfriends. I see him and her in the same room every week, and its always weird.
Only other thing I want to get out. My current girl who i haven't cheated on, one night I went over to a house warming, Droped 2 E's then when i went home my girl asked me what had I been up to I just said the house warming, and went to sleep. Then she started having sex with me while I was still feeling the E's. She didn't know and doesn't know I take drugs, but I was oddly silent that night after that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've hosed over alot of the girls that I've been with, and I feel a litte bad for it.

So, Elena, Kelly, Angie, Rachel, Alex, Margo, Denise, Brandi, Melissa, Heather, Nao, Ai, Marika, Ritsuko, Kyoko, Cortney, Lynn, and all the others the names of whom I have forgotten, I'm sorry. Especially to Brandi, who was probably the coolest girl I've ever met and who was all super cute and a bit flighty and eccentric, and Melissa, who was both really cute and really sweet and a genuinely good person and also super loaded, the two of you more than anyone else deserved alot better than the way I treated you. My apologies.

Also, I've picked up at least 15 girls at bars with fake accents and taken them back to their places, hosed the poo poo out of them, and never called again. I fell kind of bad about that too.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate all religions and feel sad I won't live to see their demise, but I'd convert in a second if it'd let me achieve my real goal - to get hosed by a missionary I know. Note - we're both guys, and of course his religion frowns on the kind of poo poo I'd want to do to him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

19/m/AR

When I was about 15, I was in my bedroom (which was quite large at the time, but I've since moved to a smaller house) having sex with my then-girlfriend, Robin. She was my sister's best friend, and a year younger than me. She, I thought, anyway, started making a lot more noise and started loving me harder; I pulled the covers up, and looked down into her face, and she was laughing. She then points, and I see my younger sister loving MY best friend Roady... my sister was the one making all the new moans. I've never felt so bad in my life. I actually got off on my sister's moans. I tried to block it out, but the fact that my sister was getting proper-hosed across the room really turned me on, and I thrust repeatedly until I came, and had the most mind-blowing orgasm I'd ever had. Robin told me later that she was really into it, too. I'm still ashamed.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I took my first girl-friends virginity I grudge hosed her. I was going
to break up with her soon, and was only in it at that stage for the sex. To
this day she still claims she loves me. I hate any woman who gives me the
upper hand in any relationship, or fawns over me, or anything. I grudge
hosed her -- I chose to especially because I have a larger than normal
penis. I secretly laughed when she cringed. I also refused to hug her
afterwards.

I think vaginas are hideous mounds of discarded hunting meat, but I still
have sex with them and enjoy it. I secretly think penises are more
attractive, but the man attached is loving disgusting. It is the opposite
for women. And I would never gently caress a trans-gender person, because I find that
as disgusting as loving Frankenstein in a humid quagmire.

I once dug up my pet turkey chick, which had been dead for a number of days,
and held it in my hands because I missed it. I kissed the filthy corpse and
reburied it, telling no one.

When I was about fifteen I used to go down into my parent's rumpus room and
stick the cold steel handle of a firepoker up my rear end and beat off onto the
wooden floors. I used an old bed-sheet to cover the handle, and when the
room was cleared out there was a suspicious, poo poo streaked sheet. No one
noticed.

I hate people who refuse to accept evolution as the best theory for the
complexity of life to the point that I wish they would die. I also hate
obnoxious atheist faggots, almost more than I hate retarded, self-justifying
Christians. With that said, I like Catholics.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a pedophile. I have masturbated to kids as young as 5 years old. When i was a teenager, I would fantasize about getting a car and tricking kids outside of an elementary school to come with me so I could have sex with them in the back seat. I am only attracted to little girls. I have been attracted to them since I hit puberty at around age 12. My favorite part about going to disneyland is seeing all of the little girls there. Legs and asses turn me on especially. I would never ever ever act on any of these fantasies. I have been paying less attention to little girls over the past few years, maybe because I am growing out of it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I paid $10 in hopes of becoming a FYAD superstar and failed miserably.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think Fark photoshops are MUCH, MUCH better than sa's

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I pretend to be a guy online sometimes so I can gently caress with other chicks head's. I get their nudes and any dirt I can and make it all public. I hate my own kind. I find women to be intolerably manipulative and decietful. Men get totally hosed over by them, and I hate how they have managed to turn a god chunk of the penis population into simpering metrosexuals and weak pussies. Sometimes I feel guilty because I would be mortified if it happened to me but then, I'm not a cheating, attention seeking, ball busting, gold digging, anit-man, using, manipulative slutmachine

I was one of those "hot girls" at school but, I also had the reputation of being sweet, innocent and nice to everyone. What nobody knew, even to this day, was I'd regularly make trips to out of city high schools, mostly private boys or girls school for sex. It was usually with boarders, and mostly always with more than one person. I hated it but, couldn't help it. I did/do love sex with an unholy passion. If anyone had figured it out, I would have labled so quickly and cast off into the slut group. My boyfriend of seven years has no idea of my past. I feel guilty for not telling him but I'm also terrified of what he would think. I'm completely 100% loyal to him. I've never strayed nor wanted to but, I'm wondering if telling him would plant a seed of distrust, so I haven't said poo poo.

I also had a destructive streak during the same period, and enjoyed causing trouble but was smart enough to never get caught and to learn to go to teachers with "confidential information" which was bogus and usually pointed straight at a rowdy kid anyway. No one would believe it was me anyway. I feel incredibly guilty for this because, I hosed a few people's academic lives for my own enjoyment. I changed that manipulative behavior after I finished school.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Whenever I talk to a guy I secretly wonder if he has fantasies about other men. I usually assume that they do, and I always laugh inside if they say that a girl is hot.

I understand that this is weird, but I can't understand not appreciating the male body even if they prefer the female. I don't know, I just assume every man is bisexual.

I'm laughing as I write this because I never put that freakish thought into words before.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm arroused by the idea of being raped by Ann Coulter.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I spent my whole time at a NIN concert masturbating in the pit. No one could or would have know. Reznor and the music just took me that way. It was fantastic. Thank you to the person who invented the clit tickler.

I regularly post pictures of my tits and body anonimously. I have a loving fantastic rack and great body. I love the attention I get from it. I am too afraid to do it under my own names because I have a reputation of being hot and respectable, which is rare. Guys know I have a great rack, and that I\'m hot with no need for me to get my titties out but despite the massive respect and crushes that follow me about, there is some peverse need for me to display my goods without compromising my clean reputation. Getting msgs from guys all flustered, turned on and brimming with compliments turns me on. Getting a good looking guy to jerk off on cam for me is the loving ultimate.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a girl and have an enormous crush on a goon named cams. I read his posts obsessively and think he's amazingly hot. I wish I had the nerve to contact him on AIM but I'm afraid he'd never like me. He probably has a girlfriend anyway.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

On a regular basis, I wonder what it'd be like to be covered in head to toe in latex, be it either regular skin-tight stuff or inflatable goods. Along with this, I masturbate to the thought of one of my friends, dressed in similar apparel, dominating me while I'm totally immobile.

Jesus that's hot.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

What bothers me is when someone posts a thread or even talks about sex, you have the loving GBS morality brigade coming in with their LOL AIDS jokes. Quite ironic that most members of the forums are liberal leaning yet when it comes to sex, they become more conservative than most bible beaters I know.

Funny thing is I guarantee that most of the idiots making those posts are virgins. Here is some advice, quit self loathing because you never got your dick wet and just go out and meet someone. Geez, I had an akward childhood yet I managed to get some tail now and then.

Another thing is that I think its funny how now everyone is taking potshots at Lowtax. You know what, who gives a poo poo what the guy does. While you guys are getting all jealous and poo poo, I bet he's laughing all the way to the bank.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to ride around naked in cars on the highway during rush hour. I did this from the ages of 15 to 17. I am female.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love the idea of cock. I want cock all over me and in me. I want to be facialized. I would like to be spitroasted. I am not attracted to men, only cocks. I am male. I am married. I really like women and the vag too.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was a nutcase as a teenager and nearly killed my younger brother not once, but twice. There I was, a 5'8", 130 lb. girl with a butcher knife to the throat of the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful 6'4", 210 lb. brother one could ever hope for, absolutely filled with rage and bent on destroying us both because of some pedestrian bullshit that I can't even remember. Like I said, I was out of my gourd back then. Thank god something stopped me both times... My brother and I used to fight like cats and dogs, as many siblings do, but now we are very close. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Also, I'm not crazy anymore--honest.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I will offer to fix friends computers for free so I can rifle through their harddrives for their amateur porn.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

ive met everyone i dated through the internet in some fashion except for maybe one

including at least two people from fyad

not virgin but ive never been in a real relationship and most people my age are married

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a thing for Mayor Wilkins. I think the way he replies in e/n threads is cute and funny.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was around 14 years old, I had some sort of disease that made me lose one of my testicles. I never told anyone, until that day with my ex girlfriend.

Me: Hey, remember these jokes you made about Hitler only having one ball? You told me that was what gave him his "evil" gene, so to speak.

Her: Yeah?

Me: Well...I should tell you that I probably have that gene as well...

Her: LOL!

We still hosed together for about a year...and reflecting back on all that, she was a lovely lay. Never accepted to receive/give oral in all that time.

I've been waiting this whole thread for a missing testical post, finally.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I don't know how much I like my boyfriend. Things are really very good, but sometimes he's a little short with me and it kind of shuts me up, which I don't like. I don't think he means to do it on purpose, and I've talked to him about it, but sometimes I wonder how much I'd care if I decided to cut the relationship off. I'd feel bad about it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Oh it's good to get this off of my back, you know?

I frequently (90% of the time) masturbate thinking of girls I know, usually going at each other.

I've printed out photos of girls and masturbated on them.

One of my best friends gave me a handjob while I played videogames. I don't think anyone even knew there was something going on between us.

I showed my dick to my friend when I was young, and tried to get him to do the same (he didn't want to). Fairly sure I'm not gay.

I think I've turned some people away from their personal religious beliefs and I actually really feel bad about it, but I hate apologizing for anything.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was a senior in high school, I developed rather intense feelings for my English teacher. He wasn't that good looking, middle aged and short and balding, but something about him... I seduced him, and I had him tie me up and gently caress me in his home while his wife was out with his kids. It ended when I left for college, but it was still the best I ever had.

I don't feel guilty about that.

Actually, I just think I've got a thing for older men in positions of authority.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have never, ever told anyone about this.

I spent some of my formative years living in a Section 8 apartment complex (for those of you not in the know, that's government-subsidized housing for poor families). As you can imagine, I was surrounded by mostly trashy people as well as the occasional recently-divorced woman with kids just needing a little help to get on her feet. I like to think that I belonged to the latter group, because we moved there when my parents split up, but we did spend four years there so maybe we were the former. I don't know. Anyway, when I was nine I became friends with the daughter of a divorcée (we'll call her Natalie), and she was sort of friends with this trashy girl (we'll call her Isabelle) who lived a few doors down from me. Isabelle showed us this "game" she knew one day in the laundromat of the apartment complex--she called it "Butt View." Basically what happened was one girl would go inside the laundromat and stand on this bench that was next to a window while the other two girls stood outside in a specific spot, about eight or 10 feet from the window. The girl inside the laundromat would drop her pants, spread her butt cheeks, and press her anus up against the window for a few seconds. The girls outside would squeal with laughter, shrieking about how gross and disgusting that was. We didn't stop at once, though--there were at least two or three separate instances that we chose to do this. all taking one or two turns apiece inside the laundromat each time. I'm not sure why the hell we did that... My guess is pre-teen sexual curiosity, but who knows? We all stopped after doing it those two or three times, and eventually Natalie and I un-officially de-friended Isabelle. Later on Isabelle would cause all sorts of trouble for Natalie and I, picking fights (both social and physical) and trying to get us in trouble with the police. Natalie and I are still friends to this day, though, many years later, and not once have we discussed those "games" from our childhood.

Wow, it feels good to get that off of my chest, even though
I basically never think about it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

For my entire life, I've had a reputation as the kid who doesn't care what anyone thinks. My mom, being very vein, envies my ability to not care what others think of me, and most people really admire this part of me, and give me nicknames like casual <myname> etc.

The truth is, I have spent thousands of hours trying to keep this front up, the lie that I really don't care what people think. In fact, I probably care more than my mom, and everyone else I know. You could be a total rear end in a top hat who kills babies, and I'd want your respect, and would go out of my way to make in seem that way. What a cruel irony.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a nearly paralyzing fear of being made a fool of. I've avoided countless opportunities and social situations that had even the slightest chance of humiliation. The more of these I avoid the worse my fear gets because I realize I don't have experience to deal with them properly.

I think it goes back to my childhood when I was the youngest kid by a huge margin. Every God drat thing I did turned into some big cutesy joke and I hated it. I hated that I couldn't stop doing stupid little kid things so I just became enormously cautious ,reserved, and totally paranoid about being laughed at.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I jacked off to a video game while in my sleeping bag at a friend\'s birthday party (surrounded by other dudes).
I look at and masturbate to child surprise sex hentai, male and female.
I am an underage female.

Liking your thread by the way.
Thanks, I try.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My confession isn't "burn down the old guy's house" bad, but it's shameful and pathetic enough that I would never admit it to anyone in real life.

In high school I had a beautiful girlfriend and all was merry. That is, until after grad, when she busted in on me playing Lunar: Silver Star Story to tell me it was over.

Almost instantaneously, I went through a personal overhaul. I got rid of all my lovely CDs. I stopped liking gay poo poo like anime. I grew my hair out. I hit the gym excessively and started eating healthy. I moved away; far away from all the distracting influences in my life, far from all the drama that perpetuated out of our breakup. I left my old life behind.

And life went on, in a new city: job, friends, a new girl and a university education. The fact is, years later, I can look in the mirror and see an entirely different person. I look and feel better. But all along, my secret motivation was to win her back. I'd obsessively look at her pictures and dream of that random day when I'd show up on her doorstep looking like her dream man. I'd reach for her out of some heavenly aura and exclaim with a flourish that I'd done it all for her. All this, I'd continually tell myself, was to win the approval of that spectre of her that loomed over me; the one girl I'd ever loved, the only thing I wanted in the world.

She was killed in a hit-and-run earlier this year.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've had a fear of men my entire life. I'm still have trouble being in a room alone with a male teacher.
Doesnt help that two teachers at my school have been charged with sexual assault/harrassment. One of them is still a teacher here.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am sexually attracted to girls who look to be around 14-17 years old; bonus points if they're actually 14-17 years old. It's not an exclusive thing, but it's certainly a factor.

Also I keep hoping that people will talk about my confessions more and, while I hate attention whoring, I'm a bit of an attention whore at heart.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I lost my virginity to a girl who was legally married to a big black dude (we're white). We did it again a few more times. Then she got "engaged" (to have a real wedding ceremony, they were already married as I said), but we hosed a couple weeks later. Then they split, but I haven't seen her since. She's a slut and cheated with other guys AND girls too, so I don't really give that much of a gently caress.

There's an ugly girl who lived on my floor at college. Everyone makes fun of herand hates her, including me. Hell, I'm good friends with one of her suitemates, who hates her, and we both made fun of her all the time. No one really knows that I hosed her once.

I have a huge crush on the suitemate mentioned in the above paragraph. No one knows.

I cum too quickly. I can still maintain the erection afterwards so it doesnt matter, but still, it's annoying.

I masturbate to the sex scene in Taking Lives approximately once a week.

This girl I was friends with freshmen year got drunk with me once and we were both lying in the bed one night. She was prude at the time, I might have been too but I honestly don't remember. She didn't really know what to think, but she thought I wanted her and she probably wanted me. I told her and everyone else who enquired that it was my bed, I was drunk, and I just wanted to lay down. Yeah loving right. I deny wanting to make out because she's not very attractive without the beer goggles.

I had a friend who got the old boot from college for being caught in posession of stuff worse than pot, I don't remember what she had. At one time I thought she was intelligent. Now I realize that she's a hopeless, useless person and I wish she'd just OD already because I know it's going to happen.

If there was a random message on your white board in college, and I lived in your building, I'm the one who wrote it. That includes the big message boards in the middle of the hall, where I'd write poo poo like "so-and-so loving sucks" or "fix the god drat washing machines."

That's enough.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

One time I was driving down the road at night, and a portly black woman (I hate myself for thinking "black woman" -- it sounds so racist to me to say a black woman rather than just a woman, but I seem to always point it out in my mind) came running up to my car with a desperate look on her face. I swerved to avoid hitting her, and kept moving on. I feel guilty about it when I think about it, what if something serious was going on and she needed help right at that moment? I drove by the same spot about 15 minutes later after I left the grocery store, but didn't see her there.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was a jock and I am gay. Ok, thats *one* confession but not the one I wrote you for.

In high school (closetted at the time) I had a crush on this really nerdy geek. I was really nice to him and stuff (if you've been in high school, you'll know how rare it is for jocks and nerds to mix).

Eventually, I confessed to him and he turned me down. I was so mad at him that I started treating him like dirt and calling him "gayfreak", "cocksucker" and other insults.

I managed to turn the whole school against him. Everyone was calling him "cocksucker" and treating him like poo poo.

He never told on me.

To this day, I can't bear to think of what I did and I can't bear to see him again.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Pearfucker here. This is not a gimmick.

I didn't microwave it. I think that would be a bad idea. It felt really good because it was naturally moist and lubed up, but also quite firm. I carved a hole in the side that was luckiy about the size of my dick, so it was a tight fit. It wasn't deep enough, so I could just thrust about 1/3 of it in. Perhaps try carving the hole from the bottom to get more length in. I thrusted as much as I could in while looking at porn and playing with my balls. Eventually I worked it too hard and it broke apart making a huge mess. Then I finished off normally.

I've had lots of sex with girls, but the pear was a unique feeling that I would like to try again if not for the mess.

Again, I am entirely serious. I wish my friends weren't goons so I could at least get a custom title out of this...
"It's a good thing."

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I honestly really hate some of my friends. I often think that I have no friends. I have plenty of people I hang out with, and most of them in reality are pretty good people that I enjoy being around, but then I hate them too. When I read threads about fun things goons do with friends I get bitter and angry because my friends aren't like that.

I openly support legalizaton of most drugs and will tell people that I have no problems with them doing any, but I secretly get really angry when anyone I know does. Even though I know it's their choice and they'll probably be fine, I get really pissed off at them. I don't let that show.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

the confessions where people say how much they hate lowtax are my favorite because i think they are all true. sa rules though

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have never described myself as I really am online. I always say I'm older or I'm petite or I'm drop dead gorgeous. I never send clear photos.
This is what I really look like. I'm 5'5", I'm 200lbs. I have long skinny fingers and veiny hands. I have a round face and a thin neck. I tell guys I wear a 34D or 34C. I wear a 36small C. I tell guys I wear thongs and only wear a 5. I wear a 7 and I hate thongs. My thighs are massive. I'm very muscular but I'm fat too. I have cellulite on my rear end and thighs and my legs are quite chunky which is weird when my calves are quite toned. I have a big feet. My rear end is fat and weird shaped and looks long, sort as if it comes up my back. I don't have a big gut. It's quite small. You barely notice the bulge in my pants it's so small. But I have a girl version of a "happy trail". My hair is really dark too. My arms are really flabby, muscular, but flab so flabbtacular that if I wave my arms it would probably produce a wind. my pelvis/hip bones whatever the hell that is pokes out a bit and I wish my ribs would too. my nails are really weird and have never been 'normal'... hard skin and a weird shape for my nails.

I've always had a very low self confidence. But atleast I have the decency to cover it up. I dont' let people see it. And it's probably why I lie about my image all the time.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This is my fourth or fifth email.

When 9/11 happened I was really pissed off. I didn't really know what had happened, but it was that whole surge of patriotism thing. After a few weeks I grew to dislike people that followed the patriotic wave, publicly condemning them numerous times. The whole time, though, I've been doing the same thing, although without really expressing it. I didn\'t care much about this country before that happened, but now I really am genuinely proud to live here.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I always asked my grandpa to wipe my rear end for me. I was young, but old enough to do it myself. I just liked the feeling of him doing it, he always got the toilet paper wet first. I have always felt incredibly guilty about this for some reason.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I fell in love with a goon while I still had a boyfriend and the only reason I didn't leave the boyfriend for that goon was because I was afraid my bf would kill himself. He'd threatened it many times and I just didn't feel like I could risk someone dying because I was being selfish.
Now, years later, the ex is a drug addict rear end in a top hat who I dumped on his rear end for his threats and controlling behavior. And while I love my current boyfriend more than anyone on earth, I still wish I could tell that goon that I DID love him back then and I am sorry for what I did without sounding like I'm just guilty.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I want to give my girlfriend a rimjob, but I don\'t want to bring it up because I'm afraid that she'll think I'm disgusting and leave me.


I'm also hate most people of my race. I can't stand them. It's not even that I hate hispanic people in general, it's just that all the ones I've met throughout my life with the exception of my immediate family have annoying manerrisms, are bitchy and gossipy, and aren't very tolerant of others. One day, I just realized that I wished I wasn't hispanic.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I develop crushes on guys over the way they write. I can't even count the number of goons I have crushes on.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I dont cut my hair not because I'm not allowed or I don't want to. I don't cut it because it's the only thing about me that hasnt changed. I never wanted to lose it. But I've never been in one place for so long and be as happy as I am.
I'm finally going to let go of it soon. I'll be cutting about half of it off, sure it'll be very long still. But I'm donating it to Locks of Love. I want someone to love it as much as I have.
That probably sounds really creepy or weird.

I think the guys around me that have been very open with how they feel about my hair are failures at life. Why would a guy purposelly upset or embarrass a girl and not expect to be called a jackass for it? I don't want to say bye to my hair, but I guess it's for the better.
gently caress you all who said it's too long or dirty. gently caress you. It's always clean and I take drat good care of it. Get AIDS, assholes.
And I've never had lice.

I'm a girl by the way.

How long is too long?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Unlike most people with it, I'm not violent to anyone but myself, so I'm afraid that it will eventually cause me to go completely insane, and I'll kill myself. I don't want to do this and leave my girlfriend alone because I know she couldn't take care of herself, but I can't help being so selfish.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I often beat off while thinking about gay sex. I'm not gay, and I'm never actually attracted to men, but I think about being spitroasted all the time. I've recently become more and more turned on by dickgirl porn and think about getting hosed and loving shemales. Something about the cocks, I guess.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Earlier this summer, I went to a geek camp I've been attending since I was 13. It was the last time I'm allowed to go. While I was there, I gave my best friend his first blowjob when we were supposed to be practicing for theater class. I don't feel guilty about that, though. What bugs me is that my favorite counselor was in charge of the study period, and if we had gotten caught, he would have been fired, because he trusted us enough to leave us alone, despite the pretty obvious sexual tension going on between us.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I change SA accounts and online handles the way non-internet folks change their socks.

I do this because part of me honestly believes that someday I'll be at least well known enough for my art that someone might try to track down my old internet posts and discover that I am a huge idiot.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I had sex with 3 people in a 24 hour period. One was a married woman and i hosed her in her car. I went home from that, logged on to IRC, a female friend who was on valium and gently caress knows what else begged me to come over and gently caress her, so I did (she has no recollection of us ever having sex because she has so many blanks in her memory she has literally lost weeks). The next day I was really drunk and a gay friend was online and wanted to catch up. I ended up sleeping with him as well and I loved it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am an internet voyeur.

I run a mildly popular internet forum. Sometimes I'll browse through posters private messages to see whats interesting. Sometimes I take their password and logon to their email and other accounts to peer into their lives.

As penance I offer this piece of advice to anyone reading: use different passwords for all of services / memberships!

Since I know this is coming: no, I'm not lowtax.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

whoa, another goon is into both WAM and facesitting? i originally intended to send in something about WAM, but was beaten.

ask a woman to sit on your face and she won't leave you because it's gross, unless she's one of those psychos who doesn't like getting oral.

and i figure that you know about it already, WAM guy, but just in case, http://www.umd.net is awesome.

confessions:

- i also like dickgirls.

- i also like giving women wedgies.

- i've been toying with the idea of asking fyad for asylum for a while, because let's face it, 95% of all gbs threads these days suck rear end. too bad fyad would just tell me to get out.
I don't know how one would discover that they like or dislike giving women wedgies.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was the main driving force in getting my stepsister away from her sexually abusive stepfather. A few months later, when I was drunk, I let her go down on me when she asked. She was underage, but so was I, so I think it was legal. Legal or not, I feel really bad about it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I go in to a church I usually feel like I'm going to vomit. I'll have no thoughts in my mind, just horrible feelings of dread. I can't stay in a church for more than about 20 minutes without getting really sick. I hate the people I see in there, I hate what they say, and I hate what they do. I'm not a Christian, but sometimes people will make me go to a church. It's like God is looking down on this crazy heathen and punishing him for stepping foot in His home. I don't have anything strongly against Christianity or God or Christians or church, but being inside of a church is one of the worst feelings I ever have.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a raging foot fetish. I've had it since I was very little. I have done inappropriate things with girls feet that were 4 years younger than me when I was 17.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm roommates with someone I met through the forums, and he's easily my best friend in the whole world. Things we're getting pretty bad at me at home, and not only did he offer me a way out but he is supporting my rear end while I try to restart my life on the opposite side of the country.

I know he knows how much just his friendship, much less his insane amount of kindness, means to me.

But sometimes, when he's sleeping, I just want to put a pillow over his face, hold it there until he's definitely gone, and just walk off into the desert to never be heard from again.

I worry that the only thing that keeps me from going ahead with my "plan" is that I have no idea what I'd do once I actually made it to the desert.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I laughed at the guy who said he masturbated to tauren porn. Then I felt a little sad because I also had done it.

I once got so wrapped up in a particular furry community that I actually went out with some guy in another state, and bussed out to stay with him for a few days. Then he bussed down to my house and stayed with me for a few days. I was 15 at the time.
We haven't talked since his stay at my house.

I considered posting the above confession in a full fledge e/n thread on the boards, but have balked due to embarassment.

I have 2 gigs and multiple CDs worth of furry porn. I still look at it often. I don't consider myself a "furry."



p.s. I'm male.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My herpes-infected friend left her swimsuit at my house once. When another friend came over a few hours later without a swimsuit, she asked if she could borrow one and asked if that one had been washed. I said yes out of laziness, and now she has such a bad case of herpes she will never be able to have children. Also, she's Mormon and hasn't been able to get married because every Mormon guy wants 40 kids.
What?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I wish I could find out who all the anonymous transgendered folks who are posting confessions here are, and reassure them that it's really ok and that there's nothing to be ashamed of, no matter how ignorant 99% of the world is.

But then people would find out about me.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was horribly tormented by the popular kids in middle school and I now I have fantasize about finding them and torturing them to death on a regular basis.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Today after a lovely day at class, I dropped by this
goon's house. When I got there, I was horny and really
wanted him to gently caress my brains out, but instead he sat
at the computer and read THIS THREAD aloud to me while
I sat on the bed, awkward and mumbling replies like
the boring, shy girl I am. I'd still appreciate this
goon a ton as a friend even without sex -- but come
on, I have an account of my own, and didn't need to
spend my time hearing SA aloud. We could've played
Duck Hunt or something, man. This was quite dull for
someone who'd promised me a wild BDSM adventure a
month ago. I wound up leaving a bit bitter at how
awkward and boring things were. I don't want things to
sour or dissolve between us though. He's a great guy
on so many levels, and I think this all came about
from my fault. I'd also like that BDSM adventure to
come through.


Also, I have no idea how to mop. My co-workers really
can't find this out, so I do vaccuum duty instead
every night when the store closes. I make such a bad
woman.


Hey aforementioned goon, if you're reading this, and
if you ever gently caress me again in this lifetime, I want you
to shout "I'M IN UR BASE, KILLIN UR DOODS!" midway,
okay?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've quit smoking on two seperate occasions on the account of a woman.

I've only had one oppertunity to get head and I couldn't get it up.

I think being drunk and high at the same time is the only way I can deal with people and have them like me.

I lay awake at night wondering if I'll ever get a girlfriend again (I'm 20).

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate my friends with a passion, but I'm too nice to tell them to gently caress off. Every day I am asleep until 3-ish, but they always come by unanounced and sit around my room while I sleep I don't know if I'm not being ballsy enough to tell them to gently caress off or if they're overstepping their bounds. I hope to God in college I'll meet new friends so that I can ditch the ones I knew throughout my childhood who no longer entertain me wit their overused jokes and constant bitching about everything.

I once whacked off while I spent the night at a friend's house and we were sleeping in his room, but he had no tissue so I let it go in my boxers and went home really early the next morning.

I once whacked off to Latoya Jackson's playboy issue.

I sabotaged my last relationship because I kept pressuring my girlfriend into having sex with me, though she never would let me, even though I'm pretty handsome and not lacking in any way, and she left me because of it.

I'm a FYAD regular, though most of them hate me, I still enjoy getting on their nerves, especially one fishy dude

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am female, and a sexual submissive.

Not like "Ooh, those silk scarves look fun", more like "Here is the
collar, here are the chains, here is the blindfold, do whatever you
want to me, please." I love watching porn from places like Insex,
Hogtied, and House of Gord, because I want to be those girls. I want
to be tied up in painful ways, to be used and abused, and hosed. I
fantasize about being gang-banged. I fantasize about being hosed by
some anonymous man that I find in a club somewhere, who takes me home,
blindfolds me, binds me, and fucks me all night. I fantasize about
being tied down to an exam table and examined by a "doctor" inside and
out. I fantasize about being spit-roasted. I fantasize about being
made to suck off and gently caress any man or woman that whoever is dominating
me orders me to. About the only things I dont' fantasize about are
kids, animals, scat, urine, knives fire or needles.

I want to be a model - a bondage model. I want to fly out to
California and do a session for Hogtied. I want to take pictures of
myself at home, trussed up like a turkey. I would love to post them
online, just to see the reaction of people, to see guys fall all over
me. I am afraid that someone I know would see them, and hate me.

I want to find someone to dominate me in a very definite way, and have
an ad on a few sites for that purpose. But I'm too scared to meet
anyone through the internet like that. So instead I get involved in
vanilla, mainstream relationships, and secretly wish that the guy
would stop treating me so nicely, and start hauling out the rope every
night.

I'm afraid that if anyone finds out what I am into sexually, everyone
I know will abandon me, and I'll never amount to anything.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

goonfessions
Back in high school my friend and I ran a Red Alert Mplayer clan based on Sailor Moon by pretending to be girls. Neither of us really liked Sailor Moon, we just chose it because we thought it would be funny. We spent over seven months keeping up the charade and used recorded voices of girls we knew to keep the guys that were members believing. When we revealed that we were guys, through the voice chat system, it created a huge mess. I know we sent some kids to therapy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Ok, here goes.

I find that as I go to university, I'm becoming increasingly
racist. I moved near Jane and Finch in Toronto and have lost any
respect I once had for black culture. It's just that I find that
most black people I meet are thugs, who seem to contribute nothing
to society, while harming others (thugs, not black people, note the
difference). I have no problem with black people who aren't thugs,
and although my girlfriend tries to justify that I'm not racist and
that I just hate thugs, it seems as though a complete paradigm
shift occured regarding my perception of black culture in general.
It's great saying that crime is caused by poverty and whatnot, and
have sympathy for the poor black people of the ghetto; but the
principle seems far more abstract after you've been mugged for the
4th time by some big black guy with a knife, or a baseball bat. The
poverty issues seems to go out the window when it comes to most new
immigrants, they come here with nothing, and within a generation
have worked their way up, out of the ghettos. What's the matter
with you people that have been in the ghetto for generations?

I used to be a totally vanilla person, sexuality wise. With my
current girlfriend she only seems to get off while being abused.
In 6 months I've gone from vanilla sex to fisting, watersports,
strapons, genderplay, hard S&M, spanking, surprise sex fantasies, and rough
oral with suffocation. I love it, my orgasms are amazingly intense
now although I'm worried how far I can take this experimentation.

My respect for a person instantly plumits when a person mentionis
that they're Zionists. I think it stems from the early
introduction to Zionists who treated everyone that wasn't Jewish
like poo poo. I don't care about Israel existing, and honestly, I
think if it was settled someplace else, a ton of problems in the
past 50 years could have been avoided. Whenever Zionist mention
that Israel only occupies (pun not intended) a small portion of the
middle east I can't help but wonder how they'd feel if a bum took
up residence in a corner of their living room. I can understand how
I could be construed as an anti-semite, I'm ok with that. However,
I do believe that the charge of anti-semitism is a convenient way
of demonizing an opponent in the argument. My only hope is that
eventually it will become so over used that it loses all meaning,
it's already started and I wonder what the next insult they'll use
is.

Homeless people - It's great that you can make a living out on the
street, but stop with the racial slurs when I don't give you cash.
I do have respect for the homeless, but it's lost when you yell at
me. At that point I consider you subhuman, a drain on society, and
I hope you get aids and die alone in your little alley, alone while
you realize in your last moment of living how great the world is,
followed by your realization that it's all going away soon.

I had a heartfelt laugh while watching 9/11 footage. It truly did
feel like the rest of the world was finally punching a bully in the
nose. I mean, think about it. You're organizing covert military
coups and upholding double standards all over the world, do you
really think that someone wouldn't try to stick it to you? That
being said, your actions after 9/11 just show the world how hosed
up you are.

I have no sympathy for any soldiers who have volunteered to go into
combat and suffer injury or death. Why should I? You've taken it
upon yourself to go into a job where your primary objective (direct
of otherwise) is the killing of others who have disagreed with your
countries leader. If you go into this contract willingly, why
should I care if you get paralyzed or killed? You've killed
countless civilians (pick a war, any war), who in my mind have
lives which are worth far more than yours. Seriously, gently caress the
troops.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Where to start I wonder..

First off I love hentai. I have 18,000+ hentai pictures on my second hard-drive. Lesbian, boy-girl, solo, gay, whatever, I have it, with the exception of that poo poo that has like 8 year olds and stuff. gently caress that. I also cannot stand hentai movies.

Oddly, I can't stand images of real porn, but love porn movies.

I at one point or another have researched many, many fetishes out of pure curiosity. This is how I discovered some of my own fetishes, though I'm not in to anything real gross.

I am bisexual, but prefer guys to be effeminate in look and appearance and girls to have short hair (on their head, hurr hurr pube joke). I find large breasts (d-cups or so) un-attractive and repulsive.

I currently have very strong feelings for a girl I met online. She feels the same way, so its not a creepy internet-guy type thing. We talk on the phone very often even though she lives hundreds of miles away, and we plan on meeting when she goes to college. Did I mention she's underage? And I am not? In my defense this started before I turned 18 and for legal reasons we won't meet until she is 18. I guess that makes me a pedo to some, or even most, people, but whatever. I'm not attracted to her because she's young, she just happens to be underage. Also in my defense I knew for two years before I learned she had girl parts, and then another three before I noticed I liked her more than as a friend.

The only thing I ever apply myself in is video games. I don't study, don't try to do a good job at work. I am lucky in the sense that I am smart enough that I can get an A if I pay attention in class. I never have to study for tests and I never do homework (4.0 gpa last year).

The things I am most proud of in my life are video game related. I don't take them seriously, but at the same time I like to accomplish things in the games I play. I have some sort of odd talent for first person shooters, so much that I barely play them because I get bored after getting 10/1 ratios on TDM maps 5 maps in a row. I play mmorpgs (only WoW. Tried FFXI and it sucked) and console rpgs even though I suck at them.

I used to think I was mentally handicapped when I was younger. This developed from having hooked on phonics as a kid and being on ritalin for most of my life. I do know that my mind is not normal in the sense of how it functions. I have a sort of mental block between when I cognate a thought and when I try to articulate myself. I have such pretty ideas and thoughts in my head but what comes out is "lol durr durr bush iz stupid".

I also have that mental disorder where your brain confuses sensory input. Like if a person will see a specific shape or color when he heres a specific noise. Mine is very light however. At most I will see a blinding white flash whenever a sudden noise startles me. This usually happens at night time. Although once I was listening to music in bed and a shape popped into my mind that I knew at once represented the opening to the song I was listening to.

I also enjoy pleasing my partner more than sex itself. I'd rather keep doing foreplay than have any sex.

Thats all I can think of.

p.s. a couple people mentioned this but yeah cuddling is where its at.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned,
it as been 3 years since my last confession.

I lie. I lie about everything. Sure, there's truth in bits and
pieces of my lies, but for the most part, it's all bullshit. I've
never told a significant other the total truth about me. It's always
buttered and battered in thick layers of lies.

I'm a complete and total gently caress up. I'm incredibly intelligent, but I'm
a high school drop out who will probably never do anything with her
life. I want to be an artist, but I'm not very good. People say I
am, but I have a temper, and I know people bullshit me to placate me.

I don't think I'll ever be able to honestly open up to someone,
because all of my relationships start on foundations of lies. My
shrink told me I'm a pathological liar, and that really, to just stop
lying. It's not that easy. It's a compulsion. And it's not because
my life is boring, it's not. Something's always loving up some how
in my life. I don't lie to make it more hosed up, or less, I just
lie for the sake of lying, and, of course, to make myself look a
little better. Who wants to be a fat, washed up hack at 18, who has
failed several relationships and will most likely never hold a real
connection with someone?

There's someone I love very much in my life, right now. Two people,
in fact. I've already hosed up one of those relationships, though it
wasn't all my fault, and the other is close to follow, I'm sure. In
my entire life, I've only ever had one friend stick by me. I alienate
everyone, intentionally or otherwise. I will never be happy with who
I am and because of this, I will make the lives of those around me
horrid and miserable.

I've cheated on every sexual and emotional partner I've ever had.
Even people I truly love. I cheat on them. I don't even know why.

I killed my twin brothers when I was little. I was 6 years old and it
was my job to make sure they didn't roll onto their stomachs and
suffocate. They turned over. I just sat there, and then I got up to
go play outside, knowing I should go get my mom.

I say I don't believe in God, but I do. A god of some sort. And I
know there's a hell, and I know I'm going. I'll probably get there by
killing myself, just like all of the other women in my family.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

1. I've masturbated thinking of my cousin.

2. I've masturbated to badly drawn cartoon porn of kiddie things like Kim Possible etc.

3. I once sort went out of the way and peeked to look at a 5 year old girl naked while baby sitting. I am a filthy pervert.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have the hugest crush on a goon that lives too far away from me for
anything to actually happen.

He doesn't know.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once jerked off a hobo in an Arby's bathroom. He never did pay me.

I know people are disgusted at goatse, but I have to give the man
credit; anybody who can stretch an anus that far is really going
places in life. That, and I'm kind of turned on by it.

I once baked a cake. It was no ordinary cake; the main ingredient was
poo poo. My poo poo. It was my sister's 10th birthday and I hated her
friends so I took a poo poo in the mixture and baked the cake. They said
it tasted disgusting but they never found out what it was.

I ducttaped a greeting card's electronic music player in my friend's
chimney. He never found it and it was still playing when I visited him
five days later.

I am secretly gay for Christopher Walken and Richard Dean Anderson,
but who isn't?

I have over 35 gigabytes of furry porn on my computer.

I've masturbated to some weird things in desperate situations. The
weirdest would have to be to a model in a plus-sized catalogue. It was
male. I am male.

I loathe children. Every time I see one being noisy I want to hit it.

I put red food coloring in my friend's showercap so it would pour red
blood when he showered. Unfortunately, his mother took a shower first
and screamed and passed out. Nobody ever found out it was me.

I found a dead rabbit in my friend's house with its head cut off from
his chat, so I put the head in a plastic baggie and clipped it to his
front door. I then took the body, put it on a stick, lathered it in
WD40 and lit it on fire. It smelled bad so I threw it into his
neighbor's back yard.

I purposely call women fat when they talk negatively about me. It's
like a loving nuke to women. "You are constantly arrogant and have
your head in the clouds! I hate you!" "Yeah, well you're fat." BAM!
That shut that bitch up. I also do this because it makes them lose
weight, and anorexic chicks are loving hot. I don't know why I'm
confessing this one, because it loving rocks. You guys should try it,
too!

I watched Red Asphault III in Driver Training and laughed whenever
they showed a dead body. Then I laughed because some religious surfer
stoner kid said I was going to hell. That would be true, but God
doesn't exist and your religion is bullshit! Ha ha ha!

I always piss people off who take things too seriously. Not that this
is a bad thing; just sayin'. Abortion is my favorite topic because
people get so edgy about it. Let's face it here, people: unaborted
babies are potential terrorists. Look at it any way you want, but this
is what it comes down to. How can our department of defense say "no"
to abortion now? Hypocrites. Terri Schiavo comes in a close second. I
love making fun of the morons who believe you can recover from that
much brain loss. Her cerebral cortex was mush! Gone, people! Zilch
there! Nada! And yet she *still* had enough brain mass to know that
even she couldn't recover. Why's that? Because she died 15 years ago,
retards!

I'll gently caress anything for money. Dogs, horses, cats, broomsticks (well,
receive, not gently caress), joysticks, pencils, M&M's Mini tubes, microphones,
cellphones, regular phones, bones, toy trains, planes, micromachines,
warhammer figurines, cologne bottles, tobasco bottles, whistles,
tampons, fleshlights (most of these are me receiving, just for your
information, incase you want to hit me up later on), my William
Shatner keychain I got at ComicCon, you name it. I'm a loving stud.
The weirdest thing I've hosed would have to be the Tobasco bottle.
Boy, that was a rush. To think- at any moment, flaming hot
vinnagerette could come shooting through my sphincter and give me
explosive assgasms for a week. Woo!

I make fun of the teen parents at my high school. It's loving
hilariouis that the dumb bitches get knocked up so early. Abortion is
dumb! Durrrrrr. Hahahaha!

I told my friends my X-Box was stolen, but in reality, I gave it to a
friend from out of town so they would stop asking me to play loving
Halo and Halo 2 with them. That game is such a piece of poo poo and I
hate it so much. It's not even fun.

I'm terrified to ask girls I know out because they are all like an
interconnected LAN, and if I ask one out, then everybody will know
within two days and if I'm turned down then it will make me lookbad,
because Dark Lord forbid anybody would turn me down because of a
boyfriend or they are interested in somebody else!

On the other hand, I've been asked out numerous times. I am a sex god.
People don't believe me when I say I have a 7" penis, or that I
trimmed my pubes in the shape of a heart, but gently caress the haters. And no,
they initiate the conversations. I don't run around telling people my
sexual deviancies. I turned sixteen a week ago.

My high school is loving stupid. All the cool people were seniors and
they all left for the military so I have nobody to talk to. The local
populace of my school consists of ignorant fuckheads that wouldn't
know the difference between Russia and Sean Penn's vagina if you
shoved your finger up their assholes and spelled it in greek.

I think 4chan is loving hilarious. LoliKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

For the people that don't read the e/n confessions, bear with me for
the first part and then you can have your sex/pedo confession.

Most of the Internet and most of my extended friends assume that I
have sex constantly because I have a lot of female friends and I'm a
pretty attractive guy. The truth is that I've had one girlfriend in my
life, have never been kissed, and haven't even come close to having
sex. I have a lot of friends, and since I take theatre, I have a whole
lot of female friends who I talk to on a regular basis and get hugs
(oh boy) from constantly. I've just never asked anyone out. I have no
idea why--I think it's just the idea that as a senior in high school,
most other guys have been out on a date, and I don't want to ask a
girl out and then have absolutely no idea what to do. If you've
actually read this, comment and give me some suggestions.

Oh, and when I was twelve, I fingered a ten year old girl as her
little brother was watching The Land Before Time and their parents
were in the other room playing poker while I poked her. Arharhar.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm into BDSM and over the past 3 years have become the dominatrix of one lucky guy. While I enjoy this, I also feel like a sadistic gently caress for it. We'll go to parties and I'll get him hopelessly drunk, proceed to bring him back to my place, tie him up and surprise sex him. There is nothing that turns me on more than to see him come to in a confused rage, bite down on his gag and look honestly afraid because he can't escape and I've got a strapon. I'll make him climax and then make fun of him for it. I love to humiliate him by tying him down, dressing him in girl's clothing (school girl outfit haha), loving him in the rear end and asking "how does it feel to be powerless?". Sometimes I'll just out-right beat him, whip him with a leash or tie him up with a butt-plug in his rear end and leave him in my closet. This is consensual though and we have a safety word and knocking if he can't use his mouth, but we never plan it out before hand. He just knows whenever he's alone with me there's a good chance I'll do this to him. Whenever I like a boy I want to over-power him and keep him as a servant or a pet. I work out constantly because I want to be strong enough to force him to do what ever I want, and most people don't think that I'm all that strong because I look small (127 pds, 5'6"). Being underestimated at first gives me a huge advantage. None of our friends know that we do this and no one would ever guess.


I'm also bisexual and the funny thing is that I feel none of this towards girls. I would never want to tie up a girl or hit her. All I want to do this girls is give them oral, waste my money on them, watch their lovely movies and hold them at night. If a girl wanted me to dominate to her, I'd do it anyway but wouldn't enjoy it as much as doing it to a guy. I'm not a fem-nazi either, I have no idea why I feel this way.

Oh, and I'm a girl, I guess that was obvious though. I'll never tell if I'm a girl or not in my regular posts.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Laziness overcame me in 4th grade and has become debilitating ever since. I invented an illness involving migraines and dizziness so I could miss more school while avoiding my paralyzing fear of getting in trouble/being chastised. I'm a senior in high school now, although I was supposed to graduate last year. I watched everyone I ever knew leave me behind. I know I deserve worse.

I desperately want to kill myself. I can't justify it in the slightest. I know this will destroy the few people who might still care. My selfishness just further demonstrates to me why I don't think I deserve to be a part of this world. I don't have the willpower amount to anything. I used to justify my existence through drawing stupid comics, but I can't even get myself to do much of that anymore. College would be a huge waste of money.

So! I'm planning on buying a gun tomorrow. I guess we'll see what happens!

Have a good day everybody!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Oh poo poo, forgot one.

A few years ago, a buddy and I worked out a really nice diamond smuggling scheme. We had another friend whos father wokred at the embassy in Saudi Arabia, through which we funneled uncut diamonds easily since he had unseachable 'diplomatic bags'. We made a ton of money doing this while that kid's dad was stationed there. I don't feel bad in the least because we were cheating the jew controlled diamond market out their money through arab countries. Good times.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

For my entire post pubesent life I have jeked off into my underwear. I still
do this,and i wash said underwear with the dish towels that myself and my
roomates use. Have fun eating my cum. I am also writing this completely
loving wasted. I post drunk multiple times every week.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I loving hate OMGWTFBBQ. I don't know why, but I loathe him with all
of my being, and hope that he gets what is undoubtedly coming to him
for what makes me loathe him so.

I hate everyone who says that anime must be for pedophiles, etc.

I hate people for small things, too. It's a core part of my
personality; I have rage, and I direct it at things. Those things had
better loving die too.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm wearing women's panties right now. I work at a dollar store and I figured i'd ring some up myself and see what it was like to avoid any awkwardness.


Not much different. I'm disappointed ):<

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I want to be completely dominated by a woman. I want her to treat me like poo poo, to tell me exactly that, I want to have no control over what happens and spank me and when it's over I want her to humiliate me by loving my rear end with a big dildo. Then I want her to leave me there since I'm nothing but a piece of trash.

On the other hand, I'd like to exert the same amount of control over a woman, but I've never found one that will go both ways. And be they dominant or submissive they've all been horrendously ugly.

I wonder what caused me to be this way.
This thread matches anonymous users on 29 key dimensions of compatibility, 29!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me, someone

When I was a kid I had a serious lingerie fetish. I'd sneak into my sister's room and take some as jerkoff material, same with the shoes.

In high school I would lie to chicks, just to see how gullible they were. I'd make up elaborate secret lives and trick them into believing me, only to stop talking to them when I got bored and leave them to realize how gullible they were.

I pass of works of literature from writers, either professional or on the internet, as my own, often as part of the lying to chicks thing. Someone unfamiliar with music might believe that I actually wrote those Rolling Stones songs, or Ray Bradbury stories, and I'll tell you it's surprising how often and how well this works, and drat is it easy to get a chick in bed when she thinks you're an artist or something.


I really want to join the military, but I feel like I don't have an excuse to do it. My mother started crying when she thought I might join and my father is way antiwar (and I disagree with the war in Iraq too), but I just see it as something men do, and a long tradition in my family. I would join now but I feel like I'd be hurting my family. I'm also afraid that I'll be disqualified for some stupid reason, like going to the doctor complaining of headaches a few times when I was 13 or going to a psychologist to try to get rid of a few minor nervous tics.

The fact that my "backup plan" of joining the military if my life ever gets hosed up may be impossible deeply disturbs me.


I'm very smart and have all kinds of potential but I lack the motivation to really do something and stick with it, and that's why I feel like I should join the military, because I want to be a better person than I am.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

It loving drives me insane that some posters are allowed to get away with posting stupid poo poo in GBS becasue they're FYAD e-buddies with the admins.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

- I am a furry.

- I make fun of my brother for his acne, but in reality, he is a much better person than I could ever be. He is good at everything I want to be good at, and he is in a stable relationship with a cute girl.

- I wish I were straight. My parents wouldn't take me seriously if I told them I am gay.

- I want to buy a motorcycle so if I can die faster.

- I used to draw and play guitar, but I sucked at both. I have no hobbies left.

- I am chronically depressed and have attempted suicide many times, much to the amusement of my brother. I told my parents I need to see a psychiatrist, but they wouldn't let me.

- I am going to die alone. I am not attractive in the least, and I am the most cynical person I know.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to pick on someone back in middle school almost daily. He was in my tae kwon do class and was extremely feminine in all of his mannerisms. He ended up dropping out of both tae kwon do and high school when we were sophomores, apparently because of how much he was made fun of. People always said he brought it upon himself because he would egg people on constantly, but looking back I think that's fairly ridiculous and just a poor excuse for immature cruelty.

I read in the paper my senior year that someone at the zoo called him a enjoyable human being one day and he snapped, stabbed the guy with a pocket knife, and later that day when the cops came to arrest him they found him dead hanging in his room.

I bet he used a pink rope too, what a queer!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I pay women on the internet to send me their soiled undergarments.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

"I feel no pity whatsoever for these people that want to commit suicide, and the people that patronize them with their "awww poor guy" comments are dipshits too.

Seriously, people that contemplate suicide are too drat weak to handle the pressure of the real world, they want to die over stupid poo poo like "ohh I can't get a girlfriend" and "wahhhh I'm fat" or something they can usually change if they want. Even if it's not something like that, suck it up and stop being such a pussy.

If you want to die that badly, please, be my loving guest and do it. I'd particularly love to get rid of everyone that wants to die, one less whiny emp bastard on the face of this lovely lovely planet.

Life is great, and if you can't see that, than just off yourself and be done with it."

I'm the first person who said they thought about a way to die every day (although I made it clear I didn't want to kill myself) and you're a bit off. Some people can't control their minds, and it drives them to think of the most horrible things over and over again. Some people can also see that they have no control and knowing what their own mind is doing to sabotage their happiness is crushing. It's a terrible existence and even after getting tons of help and medication it still will not leave me. I can't even escape when I go to sleep, the thoughts and excessive worries of both fantasy and reality follow me everywhere, slowly eating away at the string that tethers me to some sense of sanity. At the current rate I will be consumed by this before I turn 30, probably sooner. No matter how hard I try to change things it marches on and on, making me dread every waking moment. At least I can forget my dreams.


Now for another confession. When I'm not consumed by thoughts of death or appearing normal, I think of ways I can assert dominance over others:
-Being a famous musical artist and playing packed shows where I decimate the crowds with electronic stylings so brutal that even the most jaded ravers and breakcore kids cover their ears and cry on the floor, me grinning maniacally the entire time as I choose the next song to pound them into submission. After the show they still love me because they need somebody to hurt them, and I willingly do it.

-Getting a muscle car and cramming the most powerful V8 I can into the engine bay. I want it to roar like a beast from hell when I step on the throttle with that distinct 8-cylinder rip coming out straight from the headers. I want to be able to roll up to a stoplight and gas it the second it turns green, exhaust belching fire as I leave all challengers behind. By night I would rule the nearly empty highways at 130mph cruising, no troopers could ever catch me.

-I want to be pushed too far just one time too many by some piece of poo poo who doesn't know what's good for him. Turn around and BAM he goes down hard as my fist drills itself into his arrogant face. Once he's down I jump on him and keep punching and punching until he's nothing more than goo and chunks of bone. The scariest part of this one is that I could do it. I'm normally a very nice, easygoing person but that leads to a lot of anger held inside. I normally let it out by destroying a TV or taking a bat to an old monitor, but I worry about what will happen if I miss this safety release one time. I'm by no means a muscled juggernaut but my job keeps me in shape and moving all the time. This has given me a very highly developed muscles that aren't for show like the ones you see on collegiate gym fairies trying to impress women. If I were to unleash my true potential anger upon somebody I know that I would kill them, and that frightens me as much as it intrigues me.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



Posting from first day of school, in between classes, still have only taken two two hour naps since the morning of the day I created this thread, enjoy:


quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I read the lpsg.org forums regularly. I used to do it for a joke,
because some of the posts were so outlandish that I had to laugh, but
after a while, I started to form opinions on the various posters
there, and actually care about the little drama shitfests that went
on. Also huge cocks have begun to interest me. Not the men attached
to them, just the penises.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have trichtillomania (the pulling out of ones hair) and only a few close people know. I won't ever get my hair cut at a salon because of it. I used to have a tell-tale balding spot where I used to pull but I've let it grow back since then. I still do it but not as much as I did before. Any time somebody tries to touch my hair, or comments on how nice it is, I get angry and start to pull some more.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In 7th grade there was an oriental kid, not sure what country he was
from, but he was in our math class. He was really smart and probably a
year or two younger than the rest of us. His name was Ding-Ting Wang,
and we had a field day with him. It all culminated to one day when we
were telling him 'so, you think [some girl in the class] is really hot
huh?' and him saying something like 'I will not marry until I am 35 it
is tradition.' We kept saying it and finally, in the middle of class,
he stands up on his desk and shouts to everyone "I do not, like,
[girl]!!!" and started to cry. He didn't come back to school after
that. Sorry Ding-Ting man

In the same grade, in P.E. class, I made a kid cry because I kept
chanting 'Led Zeppelin sucks,' not even knowing who they were. He
always wore LZ shirts to school. Sorry Robbie, you were a nice guy

I made another kid cry that year by leading the entire P.E. class
against him, constantly changing basketball courts every time he would
come over. He complained to the teacher that no one would play with
him. We made up stories about him, and he was brutally outnumbered. I
don't think he even really did anything. I mailbombed (lol) his email
address once and it turned out it was his parents company address.
They lost a lot of business that week. Sorry Michael, I'm a big
rear end in a top hat

Another kid in P.E. was fat and really smart. Even though I was really
smart too, I was more charismatic and got the entire class up in arms
against him. From then on out, he was picked on forever. Later in high
school, he kind of disappeared. I dunno what happened to him. Sorry
Wakeen, you were a really cool guy, and I wrote a song about you being
cool a while ago called Theme for Wakeen

There are many, many more. I'm sure at least 20-30 guys could look at
my picture in their yearbook and say 'that guy was a big rear end in a top hat to me
for no reason.'

Basically, 7th grade was the start my verbal bullying career. Before
that, all throughout elementary school I was picked on relentlessly
and all kinds of rumors spread around about me. The greatest moment of
my life was the last day of school. Every time I made a friend, he
would move away, or hear some stupid rumor and abandon ship. 6th grade
was ok because I made friends with a couple of guys who were ok with
being made fun of and they were 'popular' and we had a lot of fun
messing with each other, making fun of each other, playing pranks,
etc.

But things were still miserable. My family moved across town after 6th
grade, I went to a new school with new people and made new friends. I
didn't realize at the time that I was unleashing all the pent up anger
and rage I had in me. I spent that first year going ballistic on
everyone. As the years went on, I changed my tactics to just making
fun of people behind their backs to my friends in private, and that
way no one got hurt, but I always felt bad for doing it too. I still
make jokes about people, but it makes up a very small portion of my
humor pallet. I'm much much nicer to people. If there is someone I
don't like, I just keep it to myself. I'm never gong to be mean to
anyone ever again. Just because I lived my childhood being picked on,
doesn't justify doing it to others, and I've had to live with the
guilt of hurting so many innocent kids for a long time now

To end on a better note though, at the same time I became a jerk, I
was simultaneously becoming a protector. By the time I was around
16-17, I was standing up for people, no matter how bad the odds were.
I still look out for people much more than a person normally should. I
have a lot of making up to do after all. When you're outnumbered, just
having at least one person on your side makes a world of difference.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i think schraft is actually a funny fyad poster i am probably retarded

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes I miss the old Renaissance fair in Devore and I want to see Sean and Dave\'s juggling duo again.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm probably the worst person I've ever known in my entire life. I'm a vain, selfish, misogynistic rear end in a top hat. I'm not attracted to anyone attracted to me, and I'm still attracted to the girl that dumped me like nine months ago. We're still friends, but I treat her so badly. It's not even intentional and I don't consciously have any malicious intent towards her. I think she's a really amazing and beautiful girl.

She hates that I did drugs, but in the past she's had to drive me home totally wasted from a party, I've showed up to hang out with her right after taking massive amounts of DXM, and last but not least, I was arrested for trying to break into someone's house on mushrooms at 4AM. I don't really know to this day know why the last one upset her so much, but it really hurt her. Things never really were the same after that happened and it disgusts me that I ruined our friendship even though it was already really hosed up to begin with.

We argue a lot, about the dumbest poo poo, and it is almost ALWAYS my fault. Right now isn't as bad as it has been before, but she takes everything I say to heart (just like I do with her). She has an eating disorder (I'm one of three or so people that know about it) and I feel like I'm responsible for it in part, even though she had it before she even knew me. We make fun of each other a lot bur I feel like she really thinks I'm serious with some of the things I say. I tease her a lot, and that's why I feel responsible, even though I also tell her how great she is, how pretty she looks or other things like that all the time. She only really pays attention to anything negative I say even though I usually don't mean a word of it. I don't feel like I contributed to her eating disorder or her self-esteem issues (which she has big time) by teasing her though, I feel like I'm responsible because she trusted me on a very personal level but I totally violated that trust because I'm a selfish rear end in a top hat. She probably makes me madder than anyone else I've ever been friends with but I love her completely and she's probably the best person I've ever met and just getting an instant message or a phone call from her makes me happier than almost anything else.

I told her to gently caress off and never talk to me again and told her how her best friend thought she (the main girl) was an attention whore and treated me like poo poo (like talking about hooking up with guys in front of me when she knew I was still attracted to her), treated all guys like poo poo, and that I shouldn't talk to her and that I was in the right in not wanting to talk to her anymore. Her friend really said this. We didn't talk for about a month, and then she IM'd me again. I was fine until she IM'd me. I crumbled and everything positive I ever thought about her came rushing back to me tenfold. I never would have initated contact with her again, though. We're friends again now.

She's dated or hooked up with a bunch of other guys since, and I've been with a few girls. I don't know or really care how she feels about the guys (although it does sort of tear me up inside when I see her with someone else), but every girl I've met since I haven't felt anything for. The last girl, I ended up loving her and the first words out of my mouth were "So do you remember how to get to your hotel?" I just don't care about them.

She's literally the only person I've ever soberly cried over in the last, oh, 9 or 10 years. . I think about her all the time and I know that I care about her a lot more than she does me but I don't really mind. I just think all these things, in a vein similar to this letter, and just want to pour my heart out to her. I've done it before and it's usually just met with "oh...uhm..." I just feel like I'm burdening her with my feelings and that we both need to move on, but she doesn't want to move on far enough that we're not friends anymore. It KILLS ME to just be plain jane friends with her though, I don't even necessarily want to date her anymore, I just loved that she would talk to me on a personal, intimate level. I've thought about telling her everything I feel before she leaves for school next month, but I just don't have the heart to do it. Our friendship has been so hosed up that I just think that the less eventful the rest of it, until we finally just drift apart naturally, the better.

I want someone to give me advice, and I've asked dozens of people, but I feel like I totally understand what Sartre meant when he was talking knowing the kind of advice you want to get before you even ask for it based on who you actually ask for the advice. It's been: a fellow misogynist who tells me "tell her to choke on a rock", a female friend who's a few years older than me who loves me and doesn't want to see me get hurt so she usually tells me to SEVER COMMUNICATION gbs style, and her best friend, who actually had some bad stuff to say about her. Either way, now once I get the advice (telling her to gently caress off forever was based on the collective of the advice I got) I just think "these people don't know what our friendship is like, what the gently caress do they know"

I just want both of us to be happy, but I feel like we're so different (we have almost nothing in common and disagree about almost everything) and our history is so thoroughly hosed up that we can't be happy and friends. It's probably the saddest thing I've ever been though and it's no wonder that every time i think about it at 4AM I end up crying at least a little. The worst part is I'm generally happy and have a good social life, parties, whatever, and I'm in a good mood unless I start thinking about everything.

Everything else just feels so secondary to her; my job, my probation stuff I need to take care of, my friends, other relationships. I'd drop anything I had planned for her at the drop of a hat and I'm totally aware of the fact she wouldn't do the same for me and I don't think she wants to get too attached to me again. I don't blame her. I'm a terrible person, I just wish she knew that I really don't mean to be so mean.


I'm so sorry for everything I've ever done to you and i wish things could be the way they used to be. I'm sorry I ruined our friendship.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

You know those yellow magnetic "Support our Troops" ribbons people put on
their cars?
I steal those off people's cars everytime I see them. I have over 200, most
on my fridge
right now. I'm not some anti-war liberal rear end in a top hat I just really really like
taking them
and I can't stop myself. I stole one that said "Down's syndrome awareness"
from my next door
neighbor and he has no idea it was me.
Can I be honest? I haven't stolen on that level, but have stolen a good amount, but I mostly just put them on the cars directly next to the one I stole it off of, done that a countless amount of times. Our idea eventually was to cover an entire car with them. We'll see, that's another thread.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I like one of my friends' girlfriend...like a lot (even though he absolutley adores and loves her)

Also a different friend of mine's girlfriend wanted to gently caress me one night, while they weren't together at the time. I knew he still cared for her a lot so I declined. They are back together now and apparently she neglected to tell him that part of the story of what exactly happened that night and instead made me to look like the villian. To this day I have kept to myself the secret of what happened and still catch little hints and comments from him about that night, but the only reason I havn't said anything is because I know he is truly happy with her, and don't want them to maybe possibly split over a lie of something that happened years ago, plus the fact that I am in no way attracted to her physically or emotionally.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I skipped school weeks on end just to sit at home and browse the internet
and play video games. I'd always tell myself that I'd go to school the next
day but when that day came it was the same cycle over and over again. I lied
to my principal and guidance counselors about why I missed so much school,
saying that I had a death in the family and went out of the country to
attend the funeral, or any other excuse I could think of. I was using my
depression as an excuse as well. The principal still allowed me to graduate
because he knew I was an all around good student, just with some problems.
Oh yeah I used to forge doctors excuses as well.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hated my mom's side grandfather, for what he did. He left when my mom was 16, and left 6 other of his children for another wife. He had about 6 wives and with all of those wives, had children with. I only saw him once, when I was 6. I loathed him and wish that he would just die. Well, at the year of 2004, he just did that. He died. I just wish, I could of been close to him, or even just talked to him. Just wished we could of been close, and I always wanted to know why he just went girl to girl like.

Sometimes, I always dream about him giving me advice on women, since he was considered a 'player' or a 'stud' back then. I never had any remorse when I heard the news when he died. I just thought " Oh, he died. So when is Family Guy coming back again? " Thats how little I cared.

I guess I should be careful on what I wish for.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My mom gave me $5000 that her dad left her when he died, so I could pay
for school. In my defense, I told her not to give it to me all at
once. It was supposed to last a year and a half, but I spent it all
within about four months. I bounced my last rent check, and now I am
flipping the gently caress out. The worst part is I'm pretty sure that I'm an
alcoholic, and I know I won't be able to get hosed up four nights a
week like I did last semester.

The last three years, I have gotten about $3000 from a trust fund set up
by some obscure old relative of mine, to pay for college for relatives.
Each time I blew it on next to nothing school related. Last time, I
spent it to buy a $900 pistol. I haven't told my parents, because I
know they will flip out.

I secretly fantasize about someone breaking into my apartment, so I can
pull my pistol out of the nightstand and make them wait for the cops, or
possibly kill them if they threaten me. I fantasize a little less about
life after the bomb, or a zombie invasion.

I say I love my girlfriend of seven months, but I don't really believe
it. She is super-needy, and I'm starting to feel like it would be
better for her if I cheated on her instead of just breaking up with her
to be with other girls. She once tried to OD on pills, and then called
her ex-boyfriend, before I knew her. If she pulls that poo poo with me, I
will just call 911, and tell them where to go. Her blowjobs and
handjobs are usually worse than masturbating for me. I'm not sure I've
ever made her orgasm, although she professes to enjoy sex with me a
lot. The other day some slutty girl offered me a grope for a cigarette,
even though I had just given her three friends one each. I did it, and
then later called my girlfriend incredibly drunk, telling her about how
easy it could be for me to get action elsewhere, but I didn't because I
loved her. She called me the next day and said that phone call almost
gave her a heart attack, and I couldn't even remember what I said. I
was afraid I had bitched her out, as I sometimes do when really drunk.

I am a pretty smart guy, but have been incredibly lazy since the first
grade. I almost never get As in my core classes, but I don't really
give a poo poo, and I'm happy with easy Cs.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

hate everything about Israel. I think starting a country based on a religion is the worst idea in the history of bad ideas. I hate how it began as basically a global guilt trip. I hate that being a member of a religion makes you an instant citizen. By definition it's the most intollerant country on earth. And I laugh at the footage of all the crying Israelis being evicted from the West Bank.

I don't hate Jews or anything, and I'm not Arabic. I just hate religion in general as well as anyone who complains how "their people" were mistreated, while they have lived perfectly carefree lives. If it didn't happen to you, SHUT UP!

Also, I have a crush on Trufflepig

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I some times feel like the loneliest human on earth.
Its not the lack of sex or someone to go out with that
I worry about, its the fact that I've never had
someone to spend a quiet moment with and just hold.

I talk to my dog more often than people and petting
her is probably the closest thing I get to afection.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 16 at my friend dan's birthday shindig, I tried to kill
another guest. I knew him well enough, and he was invited as well. I
grabbed the hunting knife that dan had hanging on his coatrack and
unsheathed it. It was a rather small room, so I had only a quick shot
to him. And with all intention of killing him, I lunged with the knife
held up in my hand. He looked at me with eyes of extreme surprise and
fear and lunged back onto the bed just as fast. One of my friends
tackled me to the ground. By that time I was no longer interested in
killing that guest. To this day I don't know what came over me. I
didn't really talk to him for the rest of the night, and he left while
me and my friends stayed the night. He lives around me, so I try to
avoid his eyes when I see him around starbucks and longs and whatnot.
This was exactly one year ago.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a lot of geek friends that buy completely into the geek
stereotype rather than bothering to develop a personality of their
own. Guys that would fall to their knees and fellate Seth McFarlane if
he even so much as glanced in their general direction. I can laugh at
Family Guy every now and again, but to think that every excessive and
drawn out attempt at humor is the epitome of hilarity just makes me
want to slap them.

Same thing with Robot Chicken and ATHF.

OMG look at us, we're being so random and off the wall, isn't that
hilarious?? LOL he gave them the finger...... AGAIN!! Oh, wait, here's
a doozy! Reference to slightly popular eighties television show,
movie, or video game! You guys love that, right???

I get so drat fed up with all of this worship of now hackneyed and
contrived attempts at being non-sequiter. It's funny every now and
again, but when half of your conversations consist of quoting the same
drat "hilarious" lines over and over again, it's utterly boring to be
around you.

Also, enough of this retro video game idol worship. It's Super Mario
Bros., not a religion. Stop wearing your drat video game shirts all
the time.

Oh, and Pink Floyd really aren't nearly as awesome as you think they
are. If you're going to listen to "prog rock" constantly, at least
listen to some good stuff. Floyd could never hold a candle to Yes, or
ELP, or King Crimson. Broaden your drat horizons.

Yeah, and you're not a gangsta, either, so stop pretending to be one.
The juxtaposition of incongruity was amusing at first, but it grew
old... fast. The Beastie Boys suck, too. Just thought I'd throw that
out there. Their only decent song is "Sabotage" and that's tolerable
at best.

So the next time you get all pissy because I'd rather hang out with my
other friends, it's because being with you guys is like being with
those two-dimensional characters you love so much. Stop being a
stereotype and be a real person.

I guess my confession is that I am pretentious.

Also, I sent in nearly 10 confessions last night and had the best
sleep I've had in several years.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a lurker who likes to read up on the drama and see
the attention that the really popular posters get. In
my lurking I've caught a couple pictures of quite a
few female goons including Bizarro Toby. I find her
madly attractive and have twisted sexual fantasies
about her. One of which is imagining she has a twin,
except this twin has a penis, and they go to town
loving and sucking each other. I jerk off to these
thoughts sometimes.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a horrible gently caress up at relationships. I only like women who I can't have and the moment I can have them I have no interest in them

When I find out that women like me but I have no interest in them I often see how far they are willing to go, knowing full well that it's got to be loving with them.

In High School there was one girl that everyone hated but I knew she liked me so while I would taunt her along with everyone else I would also feel her up at the lockers after school. Years later I ran into her at College and got her to jack me off in front of the Administration Building, gave her my number and never contacted her again. I found her voice messages to be hilarious, despite the obvious emotional distress.

I never found my best friend's girlfriend all that attractive till she married him. Subsequently I found some porn on the net with a girl who looks almost exactly like her and imagine that it's her as I jack off. I find her even hotter now that she's pregnant, and constantly fantasize about loving her silly in their bed.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Bless me father for I have sinned, it's been five years since my last confession. Oh sweet jesus, where do I start?

1: In the past two years I've gone from never doing any drugs ever to becoming a dealer with a larger reputation than I would have liked. I used to have to hustle to sell, now people come to me and ask. This wouldn't be so bad except I'm selling hard poo poo, not weed. Some days I lay awake at night thinking that I've hosed peoples lives over because they were junkies and I wanted money. Sometimes I tell myself they would have gotten it from someone else if it wasn't for me, and that I'm a good, honest dealer. It helps. So does whiskey.

2: I'm dating a girl who is madly in love with me, and wants to settle down with me and marry me. I have no idea how I feel about her. I think a part of me that regulates emotion is fried inside from all the substance abuse or something. Some days I feel like I love her too, others I can't stand to even hear her talk.

3: I picture my ex half the times when I gently caress her. I hate my loving ex, she was an absolute stinkyhole who hosed me over. But goddamn her pussy was hot and delicious like apple pie, and I'm half convinced she was the best gently caress I'll ever have. Also her tits were works of art. Her legs were nice too, she player soccer alot. My current girlfriend is maybe a 5 out of 10, my ex was an 8. Mentally she was a 1 and my new girl is 10, but I don't care anymore. It was great at the start of the relationship, talking and caring about the same things, but once the clothes came off I lost some interest. I really don't care about personality it seems.
One of these days I'm going to meet the ex in a bar, get drunk, and gently caress her in the rear end again for old times sakes.

4: I don't believe in god but I'm terrified of going to hell. Go figure.

5: I don't want to live to see 50. I'm some attention craving self destructive fuckup that wants to go out in some bizzare blaze of glory, not live to be old and pissing myself in a wheelchair

6: I've had feeling for a girl for two years, and I managed to ask her out, while also dating my current girlfriend. I'm a cock, I know. We go out, she gets drunk, and tells me I'm too much of a nice guy for her to date. You stupid whore, I'm seeing another girl, I deal drugs, I'm half crazy and three quarters alcoholic, and I'm too loving nice? I wanted to pull the car over and gently caress her in a ditch on the side of the road, her blonde hair gleaming in the headlights of the oncoming cars in the cold night air

7: I don't know if I regret any of the bad stuff I've done in my life. Maybe I should, but I don't know if I do

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My ex-boyfriend and I had been dating for about a year and a half, and we had to break up because of certain circumstances. I lost my virginity to him, and he was the only person I had ever been with. I still love him and probably always will, in some way.

The weekend after our breakup, I had a date on Friday night, where I got drunk. We ended up loving even though he told me he was already engaged.I figured that was his problem to deal with(still, what an rear end in a top hat.) I took a quick shower afterwards, and went to a bar to meet some friends, getting more drunk. Said guy went with me and left early to go home to his fiancee. I then went home with another guy (friend of a friend), under the presumption of smoking out. Naturally, this resulted in sex with him. And again in the morning. I didn't use a condom any of the times because neither of the guys could get off using one, and I'm on birth control. I have never been so glad to start my period. This also resulted in my first STD test, and I was clean.Lucky me, I suppose, but I am never ever going through that paranoia again. I'm now a walking trojan ad.

And, despite my feigned indifference, I really like the second guy. I never believed that sex really resulted in attachment, but I suppose it might in some cases. At least in mine. We both went out of town for a week after I stayed with him, and I thought about him a lot.I played everything out over and over in my head, looking for mistakes I made. I was afraid he wouldn't call me later,and I did not expect him to. I still want more than a one night stand. Luckily, he called me earlier today and we hung out. That went well, so maybe I have a chance. I'm not really sure I want a relationship again, so that's kind of a mess. I still feel awful about not telling him about the first guy I hosed that night, though.

Even though I try to see myself as a "liberated feminist," deep down, I still feel like a dirty whore (Thanks repressive religious upbringing!)for having sex with two guys in the same night, making that three people total. I also feel kind of used. You misogynist goons are right, all women are sluts. Or, more likely, just me.

Thanks for reading my sordid confession, it was nice to get that off my chest.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am 23 years old and I still suck my fingers. I've been doing so since I was a baby and I've never been able to quit. I am a girl and have nicely manicured, long finger nails except for on the two fingers I suck on. Those two fingers are somewhat disfigured from over twenty years of suckage and occasionly someone will notice and ask me what is wrong with them. I always lie and tell them that I smashed my fingers in a door when I was a kid.

I work in the mental health field, but I would become anorexic if I had the willpower to do so. I'm not overweight, but I would just like to be really skinny.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in grade eight, I was assigned duty as a "bathroom monitor"
following a recent series of minor vandalisms I also committed
(unbeknownst to the elementary school staff, whose impression of me
was that I was a responsible and respectful student). During my duty
as a bathroom monitor, I brought in a set of screwdrivers and managed
to completely disassemble the bathroom's stalls as well as open up the
fountain's soap container and both piss and insert a gently caress-tonne of
garbage into it. I was never caught. I later went on to be promoted
to "popcorn/snack vending machine manager' for a weekly "Candy Day",
where kids could buy snacks for a nominal fee. Every day at clean-up,
I stole half of the leftover stock and either threw it around my
school bus or shared it with my friends. Call me a golden-hearted
Robin Hood for fat kids.

In my junior years of high school, I took pride in creating stealth
stockpiles of reeking garbage. My first experiment was in grade nine,
where I slid a stash of old fruit in behind the encyclopedic section
of the library, along with a series of threatening letters made out to
the janitor. After the janitors managed to clean my stank surprise, I
moved to the classic operations of flushing every goddamned thing I
could find down the various toilets in the school. After the three
straight weeks in December where I had rendered the school's toilets
completely ineffective, I left a holiday greeting card made out to my
buddy, the school's janitor, amongst the garbage I used to back-up and
block the toilets again before I was off for Christmas break.

In grade ten, I literally filled an unused locker I unbolted from top
to bottom with an epic amount of decomposing, "gross" garbage. Eggs,
old sandwiches, cartons of milk dumped in, contents of lunch baggies
my dad would leave for me every morning, you name it. I considered
depositing small animals I would theoretically capture for the greater
good, but then decided to maintain some ethic at the very last moment.
When groups of "urban youth" in the school would congregate in the
area of the hall near my doomsday-locker, I would simply open it
momentarily and the stench would flood the hallway, causing both
classrooms to keep their doors slammed shut tightly and for students
to freak out and leave, yelling about the most obscene odor they had
ever smelt. When the mystery locker was finally opened by a rogue
janitor to investigate the, as the school's vice-principal called it,
"smell of dead animals", several students whose own lockers lay in the
vicinity went home sick for many a day.

I was bored during a period I was skipping by pretending to be sick in
the health room, so I went to my locker, grabbed a tuna sandwich I had
stashed away, and I brought it back into the health room. Making sure
nobody was in the room, I immediately jerked off into the sandwich bag
amongst the tuna goodness. Closing the bag and mashing the fishfuck
sweet-treat together, I pulled out my pocket knife and cut open the
bottom lining of the health-room cot I was assigned to and proceeded
to shove my all-man-mixture as far into it as I could.

I drive around faking drive-bys with perfect models of handguns and I
also smirk as I overpower "that rear end in a top hat with the rap tunes at the
intersection" by blaring the most blatantly zany and "gay" tunes I can
find on the Internet, several of which I've found in this forum. I
fake-stalk people, following people at a very slow pace and watching
them with a grim look on my face, sometimes while playing classical
music. I have a hard time hiding my amusement as they become
increasingly paranoid as to the lovely Hyundai pursuing them. One man
grabbed a rock from the cobbled path we (a group of "drogues" and I)
were pursuing him on. My buddy immediately jumped out of the car and
grabbed a bigger one and showed it to him before jumping back into the
car. As the man became more and more agitated, laughter ensued. He
eventually threw his somewhat large choice of rock at our car,
narrowly missing the windshield and visibly flying clear over the hood
to the path left of us. Had our driver, who was luckily not me,
actually stopped when we told him to, the aforementioned friend and I,
who were very drunk at the time, were ready to jump out and beat the
guy to within an inch of his life for virtually no good reason. I
guess that sounds pretty chav-like, but who gives a poo poo? This is a
confessional forum. Nope, no getting caught doing any of this poo poo,
either. Just remember that I am only a goon just like you.

I could say that I "wish" these weren't real, but I'd be lying. I
nearly pissed myself laughing every night after doing any of these
things, and I continue to find them hilarious in my own hosed up way.
Oh, yeah, and I love shooting up my own team in video games on the
Internet. Double the fun if I am running them over in mass amounts
with a large armoured vehicle. Triple the fun when I am spammed with
cloudsong-esque screams over voice-comm and accusations of
homosexuality.

Guess what? Not once have I been caught for my antics. Ever. Eat
me, e-bitches.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I had gay sex when I was like 9 years old.

I am borderline obssesive, and I notice all the little thinga that people do, which leads me to know a great deal about them.

I think a lot of SA posters are over zealous of admins and mods. I dont understand this unwavering loyalty to them.

I think I am a stupid idiot and dont understand why so many people like me.

I am paranoic and used to think many people only liked me out of pity. i was probably right.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 15, I was dicking around (lol literally lol) on thehun.net and I came across a series of watersports pictures. A big hairy guy with a giant cock was pissing in the mouth of a cute blonde who was sitting on her heels. She licked the last few drops of piss off the head of his cock, and I was totally turned on by this.

I wondered what urine tasted like. I was home alone, so I went and got a small candy dish from the kitchen. I took it in the bathroom and peed in it. I stared at the pee-filled candy dish for a few minutes, and took a tiny sip. It smelled bad, but I couldn't taste anything from the tiny bit. So I took a bigger gulp. After I put the dish down, I washed it out five times and couldn't look myself in the mirror for the rest of the day. If I told you how it tasted, you would never, ever again drink the last few sips of an Olde English bottle.

Anyway, my grandmother is eating M&Ms out of the candy dish right now. And I am harder than a loving rock.


To those who haven't seen your confesion yet: If it is a one sentance opinion, or two sentance anticdote about how you're gay and you just rub your balls everwhere. I'm not necessarily saying I don't believe you, I just feel that if you have kept secret that you are gay and rub your balls everwhere, I would expect more than one sentance. One other main reason your confession hasn't been posted yet could be that you used a common anonymous service that sends every email from the same address, making it appear on gmail as a single conversation. While I am working on posting them, and I have posted a lot, what happens is if I accidently go "back" in my browser it counts 50+ confessions as already read, and I haven't had the time to sort the ones I haven't posted yet, but I'm getting there.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in junior high, there was this kid I hated that lived down
the block. During a sleep-over, a bunch of friends and I snuck out and
teepeed the gently caress out of his house. We even put a cat turd on his door
step, and poured syrup all over everything. The next morning, myself
and another friend waltzed down the block, saw the mess, then a few
houses down saw the kid in his backyard. It was the wrong house.

Later, when I had a newspaper route, I found that the owner of the
house we hit was a super nice old man with a one-eyed old beagle, who
tipped me extremely well the first time I collected. After that, I
delivered the paper to his house but couldn't get up the courage to
collect from him again. He tracked me down and payed me anyway. After
that I had to collect every month from him until he passed away. I
felt horrible every single time I accepted his tips.

I was a furry for a long time and lost my virginity to a furry, a
loving studly army guy with a huge wang. (I'm a gay guy lol) The next
day he broke out his fursuit and we fooled around while he was wearing
it. I thought it was bizzare at first, but the warmth and softness of
the fur was amazing. I never did anything like that again though, and
eventually grew out of the 'fetish fandom.' However, if I ever get a
chance like that again, I'll jump on it in a heartbeat.

When I was really little, I convinced my little brother to poo poo in the
back yard. Once he sqoze one out, i pushed him down into it and ran
away, laughing evilly. He got upset and told on me. He showed my
father his butt as proof, and it had a big orange stain on it. I got
swatted. To this day I think the whole thing was hilarious.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

It's interesting to see people posting about transgender tendencies on here... I often share those feelings. Most of the time I watch porn from the woman's perspective, and think about (sometimes obsess) over what it would be like to be female... I'm 5'10", and really thin, and I believe so much of *myself* would be better suited to being female. I really sympathize with a lot of the stuff that previous posters on this topic have said, although I could never bring myself to enact any of it in real life because I have no idea how the people I know would react to it. I feel limited somehow, but I'm trying to overcome that: while I strive to be a really tolerant person myself, I'm just not strong enough to go up against so much prejudice and hate. Even if it's not visible it's still there in the hearts and minds of so many people, and it would destroy me.

I would like to use this opportunity to send a message of hope to those who, like me, feel this way - you are not alone, and I hope that we can all find someone who accepts these things about us.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a bukakke fetish. To me, there is nothing in the world more beautiful than a cute girl with sperm on her face. Running down her neck, dripping down her tits. Pouring out the sides of her mouth, like hot, white drool. I have 40 gigs of bukakke porn and 40 more of regular porn, but when I'm watching regular porn, my natural tendency is to fast forward to the end, where the guy pulls out and jacks off on the whore's face. Sometimes I watch gay porn for the same reason. Not because I like guys (everything about men, except for the cock and sperm, revolts me beyond belief) but I am just so obsessed with jizz that I like to imagine the receiving guy is me. Whenever I jack off, I try to collect my sperm and drip it into my mouth.

Trouble is, I hate the taste. I tried this about a hundred times before I realized that I just could not get the sperm past my lips. So one day, when I was jacking off, I got hungry. I went and made myself a bowl of ice cream and came back at the part where the guy was about to cum on Jenna Jameson's face (the Virtual Sex with Jenna Jameson DVD. If you've seen this, you know how hot this scene is. loving unf. ) I couldn't hold back, I put the ice cream onto the desk in front of me and started spanking away. My timing was perfect. I came just as the actor's cock finished spewing and Jenna did that thing where she teases his cock with her tongue.

After about a minute of sitting there in bliss, I returned to my ice cream. Oops. I came so hard, my jizz shot through the air and landed in the ice cream bowl. Some got on the desk too, but the brunt of my slop-shot was sitting on top of my ice cream, melting it's way through my Mint & Chocolate Chip.

I'll never eat ice cream any other way again. C'est magni-loving-fique.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was younger. Middle school or 9th grade I had a step sister. Not too attractive, but not ugly either. But she had a nice enough body anyway. Developed by then and all that. Now my hormones were raging like crazy, and I thought it was hot as hell seeing her in her shorts, because her shaved legs were there plain as day. I'm not talking regular shorts. I'm talking about the really short ones that are worn to bed.

Now, her room didn't have air conditition or a fan, so she generally slept with the covers off. Being the horny little one that I was, I would sneak into her room, and feel up and down her smooth sexy legs. And when she was turned over, I would run my hand along her butt and even kiss it. She never caught me feeling her, while in her bed, but every now and then she'd wake up and see me in there. Lucky for me, I could just play off that I was sleep walking or something and say something stupid and she'd be none the wiser.

I did this quite often, and the risk of getting caught only seemed to add to the rush of it all. To add to it, I would even go into her panties when she wasn't there and smell them. I even used them onces to masturbate with.

To top it all off, I drat near almost got caught in broad daylight while the whole FAMILY was around. We were on a trip, and everyone was in the car. Everyone except the stepdad, who was driving, was asleep. I reached over and felt her sexy legs again. Of course, I was sorta laying down, my eyes closed. All of a sudden I hear "What are you doing?!" and pull my hand away, never opening my eyes. Nothing happened after than, and either she just let the whole thing go, or for some reason, forgot about it.

And to this day, it's still exciting to think about. Hell, writing this thing caused me to get pretty hard thinking about it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have had the same girlfriend for 11 years. I loving HATE her. She's fat, ugly and her stinkyhole smells nasty. I can't stand her. I haven't willingly had sex with her for 2 years - I've been going to hookers for the past couple of years.

But I won't break up with her because I'm a pussy.

In reality she's more like a live in maid. She cooks and cleans, and in return, I let her use my ATM card whenever she wants, for whatever she wants. We have separate bedrooms, and haven’t actually slept in the same bed for well over 6 years now.

I can't figure out if I'm too much of a pussy to break up with her because she'd be hosed for money (I make ~$45K vs her $20K/year), or because without her, I'd drown in my own filth.

We don't have kids or any major financial obligations together. If I had the balls, I could make a clean break, but I can't.

But by far the worst part is that she has no idea how I feel. She thinks we will grow old together.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm pretty sure I should break up with my boyfriend. But he's a nerd who has only had one girlfriend before me, who hosed with him rather badly leaving him untrusting of women for years. I do like the guy, just not as a romantic interest. I think dating him at all might have been a huge mistake. I've had the feeling I should tell him so for months now, but I just can't bring myself to bring it up as some nights he says having a girlfriend is one of the only good things in his life, that at least he's not stuck mastrubating and crying over his LONELY. I don't want to hurt him... but I am so unhappy in this lie of a life.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've always had a slight case of bi-polar and borderline personality disorder, this coupled with a severe case of PTSD due to a wreck I was involved in did something very weird to me. .

For 2 years I became a demi-god amongst my peers. I opened up, stopped being shy, people were having sex with me left and right. I made out with people of my own sex for others amusement, and became a king of debauchery. Was involved in several threesomes, foursomes, and up to the scale of full out orgies.

This was all because all those disorders combined also made me into an alcoholic. Hell, I have class in 3 hours and I'm drinking a beer right now.

People still ask me to come help them throw parties, get laid, get drugs, and in general have the life every college student wants to have. I hate when they do. I hate looking back and realizing that people on one spectrum see me as a highly noble human being who would do anything for anyone, and the other spectrum sees that I am a master of getting people naked, drunk, and loving like rabbits on meth.

I hate those 2 years of life more than anything, and wish I could erase them. I am an IT professional, and since I am constantly tied to a network, it only makes it where I can't. The only way I could is to ditch my life and become amish. I have seriously considered moving to the woods thoreau style and forgetting the ways of this world.

I don't want to go all and commit suicide, but I don't want to hurt those whom I truly care for and just dissapear. Although I wish I could. . People see me as strong, but I'm as weak as an infant. It disgusts me. My life disgusts me even though friends and cohorts in crime have asked me to write it down and try to get it published.

The subsequent conclusion to this is, I hate my life.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I know which server Dave Chappelle plays on. I have been a friend of
Dave's for 4 years, and I speak with him on the phone every week or
so. I got to telling him about how I have been playing World of
Warcraft and he told me all about his character. He has a level 60
Alliance Hunter on a PVP server. I cannot say any more, but if you
think this is bullshit I can back it up with stuff if you promise not
to post it. I will not, however, give you any more information about
his character other than this. He will get mobbed and it will ruin
the game for him.

I cannot tell you how long I have been holding this in, especially
since it's been a hot topic lately

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Every guy I've had sex with (3 total), I've met through the internet.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am addicted to the TV show, The West Wing. I have every episode on a media center and play at least 6 hours worth a day. It's not like I write fan fiction or anything like that, I just find the show to be decent and very comforting. I also fall asleep with it playing every night. I would conservatively estimate having watched 5000 hours of the show, and I know each episode well enough to be able to recite all the lines as the play, including little quirks that might be in the voice, pronunciations, and tones of the actors.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

All of FYAD is making fun of my earlier confession. I have acheived FYAD superstardom! I am temped to just post in FYAD and be like, "lol it was me" but I don't want to get banned or a red title or anything.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This is the Borderline Personality Disorder person again. I forgot to mention that I regularly scald myself with hot water, hit myself, bang my head against walls, and do anything else I can to injure myself without anyone noticing. My girlfriend hates when I do this but I can't help myself.

I also try to put myself through as much emotional pain (that doesn't involve her) as possible. I do it because I feel like I'm a bad person who deserves to have terrible things happen to me.

As much as I hate myself and want to see myself put through as much pain as possible, I try to be stable around her because I feel like she's angelic and perfect and doesn't deserve to know how deeply insane I am, because she's far too good for that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 9 after I tried to kill myself for the third time.

I've been lurking since March of 2003, and I have only posted once.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This is more of a small string of confessions than one single confession.

Years back, I uppercutted my grandmother for calling me stupid. In my defense, I'm schizophrenic and was tripping balls on my medication, but I still did it, and the very thought of it saddens and sickens me.

I have tricked a friend's girlfriend into seeing a picture of my penis. She still doesn't know it was mine, and her reaction both amused and pleased me; she said she couldn't stop looking.

I have a folder of pictures of girls I know in the nude, which I have titled 'Conquests'. Some of them have sent me presents; all of them are sexually repressed because their boyfriends aren't into what they are.

My 16 year old step-sister has pinned me down and given me a hand job through my pajamas before. I sometimes wish my father hadn't divorced her mother, because I liked when she watched me masturbate, but I cannot remember what the hell she looks like anymore.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I had sex with my friend's girlfriend... repeatedly. My first time with her was my first time ever. She said it was the best sex she'd ever had in her life, and she was "experienced" to put it delicately. It was pretty obvious from her physical response that she wasn't just trying to flatter me. Thanks, porn!

In my defense, I had strong feelings for her, and only acted after I found out she felt the same way about me. While I respected my friend as a person, he treated her very poorly and was very immature/selfish in their relationship

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have an intense phobia of someday, somehow, losing my vision.

I also have an intense sexual fetish for people who are blind or have extremely poor eyesight.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The anti-LJ thing is dumb. I think Livejournal is great. If you spend a few minutes looking, you can easily find extremely well-written comedy articles, astute political commentary from either side, genuinely interesting lives to read about, and anything else you might want.

In fact, I think if after any given SA frontpage update, you can go to the LJ "recent updates" page where they display the last couple hundred updates, and find something more interesting/funny/well-written than the SA frontpage.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I went to a private high school and had a teacher who had a mutual crush on me. We made out, and she talked dirty to me, often saying she wanted me to surprise sex her and sodomize her. So, being stupid, I later did surprise sex her and in her classroom after school. It didn't quite go as planned, and I really did surprise sex her, not just fulfill some fantasy. She didn't report it and I transferred out of the class and then dropped out of the school.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a lesbian and I think girlmecha is a vile, repulsive piece of poo poo drama queen who posts terribly and is a horrible representation for gays. Even more repulsive is the way she acts like a spokesbitch for anyone remotely like her. She's the worst poster in SA history and shouldn't just be banned, but repeatedly mauled in the crotch with an axe.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a crush on Noni and stalk his posts incessantly.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Because Lowtax took so long to get me my merch order (8 months), I filed a complained against SA with the better business bureau. In the process, I found out that SA had requested a removal from BBB lists and so the BBB can't make complaints public. In calling the nearest office to Lowtax, the BBB rep said they get about 15 written complaints per month on something awful or cnst and are collecting any proofs of fraud that people will send in.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This isn't a confession as much as it is a declaration... Elvis Costello is, bar none, the best musician out there. Considering I'm almost 20, most people think that I'm insane for liking an artist that hasn't been "popular" in almost 20 years... but I own all his albums, and can play all his songs on my guitar. Yes, I am that pathetic.

Also, Jethro Tull rules.

And Yes.

Okay, gently caress it, I love prog-rock.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a confession
Last year i slept with a girl at a party. The next day i realized she was a dead ringer for my younger sister.
I mean dead ringer
They could've been twins
My friend didnt buy my story so had to invite her over while my sister was home so he could see them both togther.
My sister didnt see it but my friend and the girl did
Sorry there arn't any pictures but at the time I really didnt want any reminders that I had hosed my sister's evil twin.
So to sum up, this girl and my sis looked so much alike i felt a little sick seeing them in the same room.
They were the same height, weight, had the same hair color, same hair style, similar eyes, it was all very unsettleing
I should point out i wasnt drunk at the party nor did i seek her out. She came onto me, made all the first moves, i simple reciprocated them
I didnt see her much after that. She was a bit creeped out by the resemblance. So much so she checked to see if her parents had been unfaithful to one another. I opted not to ask my parents if the girl I baged was my half sister.
When she met my sister she says "is this a loving joke!"
I think the biggest difference between them was their age, my sister being 17 at the time and the girl being 20.
I know, I know, it smells of bullshit but i swear on a stack of bibles, the resemblance was uncanny. The doppleganger pehnomenom has been widely reported and there's plenty of photographic evidence to support nearly identical people with no common parent.
When asked the question "So do you think your sister is hot?" My answer would be "No, but the other girl with my sister's body was pretty hot that night."

And sadly, I often think of looking her up to see if they still look so much alike.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've had social anxeity my whole life extremely bad. I use to be so scared
to leave my house to the point of not wanting to walk to the end of the
drive way to check the mail or take out the garbage. I would refuse to leave
my room unless I absolutly had to, and my dad supported my rear end 100%. This
went on until I was 20 years old and then I got fed up with it and started
going to therapy.

I started to get better very quickly, and started going out and making
friends. I had a bunch of close friends that I gamed with, and one of them
had a girlfriend. She had a crush on me since we met (a month) and she left
her boyfriend one night and came over to my house and we made out, and her
boyfriend rode his bike to my house to talk to her, and he saw us making out
thru my window. I, lacking all common sense, let her live with me immeditly
and we stayed together for 3 months. She hated me, and cheated on me with my
best friend. I was a none stop crying emotional wrecked pussy. She left my
friend after a month and got back with her boyfriend that she left for me.
They are now still together after a year, and the boyfriend sells drugs and
she's a druggie, I haven't spoken to either of them in over a year.

My dad kicked me out of the house shortly after she left me and I lived with
my sister for a few months, and now I live with my cousin. I'm currently
working at the 2nd job I've ever had, at burger king, and I'm trying to get
on my own. I'm scared to be on my own, and I'm very lonely and afraid most
of the time. I miss my dad even though I disowned him, and I cry when I
think about him. I haven't talked to him in over a year. I'm 22 years old, I
feel like I've only started my life 2 years ago, I feel like a lost child.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I often pretend to like people more than I do. I don't know why, a lot of the time, but some times it's because I get something out of it. I guess that makes me a manipulative person.

I'm also pretty vindictive. Hurt me and I'll use it as justification for punishment. Especially women. I often go from feeling unbridled hate toward my most recent ex to missing her so much. All the time, however, I feel like I'm punishing her by deliberately ignoring her, among other things.

I have a secret man-crush on Adam Lazzara from the band Taking Back Sunday. He looked a lot better when he way younger, however. Plus I rather like their music.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think I have an e-crush on closeenough, her writing style is so witty and her technical knowledge make most of the SHSC gods look like AOL newbs.
I wish my wife was at least a bit like her. It's a crying shame she's a dyke.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I want to make a thread in GBS or ask/tell so that I can get people's feedback about how to sort out my life (mentally hosed, hate job, no freinds etc) but lets face it this is banal poo poo and no-one's business except mine, right? Quote this is you think I should do it. Thanks.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I tell girls that I'm gay, so that they won't think I'm a creep, and they'll be friends with me. I am terrified they'll just see me as a sleazy opportunist if I don't make them think I'm in the market. I always feel like a creep when I try to talk to girls, and worry constantly that that is how they see me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I really loved my ex, and these days I despise her, I have dirt on her that could remove her from her job, and get really tempted to drop the bomb anon.

I don't want to do it, I feel bad for wanting to. I just can't come to grips with the personality she never showed me while dating.

It's just as bad that I am a firm believer in destroying something totally if it's hosed up enough to rebuild. I have to spend my time thinking on her trying to justify why she is as hosed up as she is. I am a hosed up individual too, but I've come to grips with that and try to fix whats hosed. She just wants to continue, and after what she told me she wants in life, she'll never be able to have.

I was hoping I'd be what she wanted, alas, this shall never be.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I want to try pot because all my friends at school do it, but I'm too scared.

Yes, I know it's harmless and that's retarded.

It's just the truth.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate my mother for loving up my entire life. If I had the balls to shoot her, I would. She's a lying, lesbian dramawhore who was never there when I needed her: she gave me all the toys I wanted, but she never ever gave me a hug or a kiss on the cheek when I was crying. She punched my girlfriend in the face. I really want to start my own life, but I can't find a job because I'm worthless. So I'm still living at home with mom, her girlfriend (who hates me) AND my father (who has his own girlfriend as well). My family is totally hosed up and I'm the only one who actually cares.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

it's 5 am, I have to be at school in a couple of hours, I have to drive to be there.

I'm drunk.

I don't plan to stop drinking.

I intend to drive.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a lurker from Belgium and when I see all the messages speaking about gangs and violence I think that the US are really hosed up. I'm also shocked when I read that people have to join the army or to get a night job to pay for college.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly 2 years now and things are wonderful. We communicate well and are there for one another, but our sex life is dying. As much as I love her and enjoy her company, I can't help but fall for her attractive friend. I fantasize about her daily and try to hang out with her by getting my girlfriend to call her up so that we could "all just hang out together". I stare at her constantly, but to the point where she doesn't notice I'm being freaky. I think I'm just insanely bored with my girlfriend. Maybe it's time to break up. Sorry S.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was a teen I was in an online relationship with somebody I deem my first love. We were together for some time and talked excessively however due to my mental instability and manipulations we had many problems. There were threats of suicide and cutting, nothing that I would have essentially done. I did not deliberately try to hurt him but I thought it was the only way to keep him around.

Our relationship being what it was resulted in thousands of dollars in phone bills, which caused many problems between him and his mother. She tried to keep us from seeing one another by removing long distance and computer components but we always found ways to contact one another.

In the end, we lost touch and both moved on and found people nearby. The following year we tried to make it work but ultimately it ended the same. I did care for him and do consider him my first love but I feel remorse for the terrible things I did. I didn't intend to care for someone thousands of miles away and it was hard to deal with as a depressed teenager.

I sometimes wish I could still talk to him to see how things are. I also have been tempted to message and apologize for everything. Usually I chicken out due to the fear of him not also viewing us as a serious relationship or love resulting in him laughing in my face. Despite having no feelings for him now, I think it would hurt to know that he has never thought of me through the years. I do wish I could show him that I am good, secure person that is sincerely sorry. He's a goon so he may see this yet I doubt he would know it's me. Regardless I am sorry and I hope he has found happiness.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A long whiles back, in a post your phone number thread, I called a male goon whose posts I always enjoyed.

I honestly don't think it was so much a case of "OMG A GURL CALLED ME!!" so much as we really did hit it off. We both loved comics, had a similar geeky sense of humor, shared musical tastes, had *very* compatable sexual fetishes, and so forth.

We essentially phone dated, me being in Philadelphia and him being in California, for a good many months. At one point, we spent 13 hours on the phone together.

It was pretty fun, and we had made plans to meet up at GoonCon.

However, a couple months before we had planned to meet, things just kind of... petered out. He wouldn't shut up about playing poker (and me, while interested and capable of following a game on tv, honestly didn't have much to contribute) and rather then focussing on our common interests, he just kept talking about more and more obscure poo poo that I could only respond monosyllabically to.

To this day I'm not sure if he just lost interest or what. But I still think about him sometimes, and Danny, if you're reading this:

Telling me you'd be happy to jerk Ben Fold's dick for him (should he ever become too arthritic due to his mad piano skillz to do it himself) was pretty goddamn homosexual.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I got into a top Ivy League university.

I plagarized my application essay.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I believe in God. I believe that the Bible is inerrant (sp?). I belive that Jesus is God. I believe there is a being named Satan and that one day God will judge us all and that those who do not believe that Jesus is God will burn forever in hell.

I was not raised as a religious person.
I believe all of this and cannot bring myself to tell my wife, parents, famliy and friends about it.

I now have a little daughter. I need to tell her about this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I honestly worry that when I'm older I'll still be attracted to young girls (12-16) and be labeled a pedophile. I'm not. I'm a strong ephebophile.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a female and successful and pleasant and nice-looking and not overweight at all. Really happy basically.. But I want to loving kill myself because I dont think I'm hot.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was once in the van with my mom when a motorcycle in the opposite lane was flipped, bucking the driver from his seat and right onto the pavement. My mom wanted to stop, but I told her to just keep on driving.

I'm pretty sure the motorcyclist died. I don't know why I stopped my mom. She was so concerned, and she just wanted to help. She was slowing down, just staring at this dude twitching on the other side of the road. All the she wanted to do was stop and see if the guy was okay and maybe call an ambulance, but I had to get my loving backpack right away and told her to keep driving.

I saw the whole thing happen, too, from beginning to end. Maybe I was just in shock and the gravity of the situation didn't affect me right away. I'd never seen anything like it before -- he flew clear over the handlebars and WHAM, right on his back into the road. The bike was tossed like a toy, too. It went rear end over tea kettle and almost landed on the owner.

And I couldn't stop to call 911, to see if this guy was all right.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Hello.
I am a girl and I browse the SA forums (mostly GBS, Ask/Tell, FYAD) probably two or three times per day. I've made maybe three posts, because I'm so scared people will LOL at me or think I'm attention whoring because I have a pretty “girly” nick. I have a fantastic boyfriend who I met online through my previous boyfriend (who I also met online). He visited and lived with me for three months and has recently gone home -- I doubt we'll "see" each other for another year. This makes me very sad. I moved out of home nearly a year ago to attend university in a different state, and I have no friends. I desperately, desperately want friends, but I avoid all social activities and when people DO ask me to do things -- I make up excuses so I don't have to go, because I think they won't "get" me and will think I'm socially retarded (which I am) and will LOL at me. I hated my friends at home because they were stupid (which is how I categorise most people, I guess), and I was always really rude to them. I miss them. Before I left home, I was a terribly overweight buttertroll fattie, but since then I've lost 25kg, although I still think I'm horribly fat, etc. When I broke up with my first boyfriend, I had sex with a stranger (I met online, aff -- of course) in a disgusting hotel room. I lied and told him I was 18, although I was only 16. (I'm 17 now, I'll turn 18 in october). I cried during and after the sex and he loved it. I wanted to make my ex-boyfriend jealous, but he didn't care. Lately I've started to worry that I’ve caught some icky disease from this guy, but I'm too scared to see a doctor or whomever. I have HUGE daddy issues. I don't know my real father (I was an IVF baby), and my legal father was abusive to the point of bone-breaking. He was sent to a mental hospital when I was 13, and my parents divorced. I don't tell anybody this because I'm scared I'll be ridiculed for being OMG ATTENTION WHORE or emo/goth, etc. I sometimes get horribly depressed and think of killing myself, but I’m scared it'll hurt. When I talk, I use extra-large words and am overly dramatic, so people will think I'm smart and will like me. I want to be e-famous and forum-famous and obsess over e-famous people. I explain away all these retarded habits to myself as being hipster-ironic. I watch porn more than my boyfriend, but I think it's mostly to torture myself with pretty, thin girls. I cry myself to sleep most nights.
I posted this confession because I want people to ask for my email and be my friend.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My exboyfriend beat the living hell out of me for close to four years, and after he dumped me (for a chick he met on an MMO) he raped me.

He's now dating a girl a decent bit younger than he is, and I hope he starts to abuse her too, because maybe she'll be stronger than I was and call the cops on him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've masterbated to anime porn and child pr0n and felt really sick about it and have never done it since. gently caress the internet.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Perhaps this is setting dangerous precedent, but if anyone can correctly string together four of my previous confessions, I will reveal myself.

I mean, not that there's any enforcability, but hey.


Also, I pee on my feet in the shower. Old habit that, because I'm crazy, I continue every day.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I just sent the e-mail about uppercutting my grandmother. I would like to add that, after a moment of thought, I am deeply ashamed of all the things I have confessed, though I do feel better confessing them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have no friends. I have a girlfriend, but I feel so guilty about making her talk to me and spend a lot of time with me just because I'm so desperately lonely.

I'm also a transsexual, although nobody I come in contact with, except my girlfriend, knows this, not even at work. I so badly want a friend who can relate and that I can actually hang out with in real life, because I really do feel like I'm the only person in the world who is my age (I'm in my early 20's, so I don't at all relate to the older types who are going through this. They bother me a lot) that's going through this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I want a girlfriend. There are two reasons:

1) I want somebody who I can unanonymously confess to
2) I want somebody to shave my rear end

I don't care about sex.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I feel like I can in no way survive in the "real world"
I'm hoping that my parents will keep on supporting me for the rest of my life, but that makes me feel horrible.
My parents are both immigrants from europe who pretty much epitomize "the American Dream". They had nothing, and now they own multiple businesses and have a yearly income of over 500k. I feel like I can never possibly reach this level of finanical success in my life. I feel like I was deprived of the ability to succeed that way because of how I was raised. I never had to deal with difficulties in life, never had to get a job, never had to do anything. The only thing that I had to do was do well in school, but that was never difficult for me. It's like I'm coasting through life, without any real obstacles that do things like "build character". My parents feel bad about this, too. I was raised in one of the motels that my parents were building up, and a motel isn't the best place to raise a kid, since everyone there is usually a crackhead, and if they aren't they'll leave in 3 days. As a result, I have horrible social skills.

I'm 19 now, and going to university. My parents are paying for my 1 bedroom apartment in a very nice apartment complex, and my $100+/week weed-smoking habit. I'm doing well in my classes now, but to get an A in a class is pretty much bare-minimum work for me, and I still feel like I'm not really doing poo poo. I haven't left my apartment for a month except to go to class.

All I want is to gently caress tons of good-looking people. I'd consider myself an omni-sexual. I like looking at gay, straight, lesbian, and transexual (pre-op) porn. I really want to just get into wild sex parties and have uninhibited enjoyment, but I don't know how. I've been told that I'm attractive, but I don't really feel like I am. Even if my facial features are attractive, I'm pretty out of shape, a skinny tall guy with no muscle tone. I feel like I need to work out or something but I'm to lazy to do so. I'm still a virgin, but I have been with one girl (very attractive), who was lightyears beyond me in terms of experience, despite being 3 years younger than me. To be with someone else sexually was such a validating sensation. I really never felt more alive. It was like someone else truly knew I existed, even if it was just some girl that I never saw again.

I'm so envious of one of my friends. He gets all the women that I would give half my brain to gently caress. He has some magical gift with people and women. Everyone loves him, he's everyone's friend. Conversations focus around him, but he's never full of himself. He's slept with so many women, and several of them have openly thanked him for his sexual prowess. He's just magnetic. I would kill to just be a little more like him.

I feel pathetic. I'm living off of my parents and I have virtually no social connections in real life. I'm too lazy/anxious to get into something meaningful. I don't want to give up my time, but I want to get other people's time. I feel selfish.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was loving a friends wife for a several months.

I was friends with both of them a few years before but we had a falling out over something a third person did, they came to the realisation that it was this other persons fault and we patched things up but one night she drunkenly confessed her love to me, I didn't want to go there intially but she came over to my house and we ended up loving each others brains out.

She told me she wanted my baby but stay married to him, she begged me to take off the condom every time we hosed and eventually I gave in but I faked an orgasm. I dont think women know that guys can do this.

She eventually fell pregnant and told me it was mine but I was convinced it wasnt.

The last time she came over my house she was visibly pregnant, she demanded that I gently caress her but I had had enough of this bullshit, so I hosed her up the rear end and told her to get out.

I hosed their marriage and felt no guilt because they were such assholes to me before.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Ive jacked off to killing people and shredding the hell out of their bodies in Alien vs Predator 2. I used to get more turned on by that then by porn. I loved the idea of hiding in the trees, then trapping or slaughtering people. Got me off every time.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I feel really bad reading this thread and seeing all the admin hate, especially when it's directed at Ozma who I think is an awesome admin and a really nice person too. Of course this being GBS if I were to post this normally some idiot would just accuse me of trying to suck up to the admins.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love jerking off. So much so that I am physically unable to ejaculate from regular sex, I don't even bother with it anymore, or when I do, I have to fake orgasm. Every time I get a girl in bed I go straight for the money shot on her face as soon as I can.

I used to lie a LOT to everyone I knew. About stupid stuff like what I was doing on the weekend or what job I was working. It got ridiculous to the point I would actually drive to fake places of employment and pick up company personalized pens/cards to leave around my house to add to the illusion. These were crappy minimum wage jobs too, nothing to do with prestige.

I'm generally pretty happy but I think about suicide almost daily. I also get along with people well yet once in awhile I'll think about bashing my best friend's head through a window for no reason. I'm probably bipolar or something but I'd rather not know.

My biggest fear is that in the future mind-reading technology is invented and people can see what a monster I truly am.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have this weird thing with girls. I gently caress them twice and then cut off contact with them. Usually this happens in a span of about two weeks or so. Also, I usually lose an erection during sex.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've only had one real relationship so far, though I am still fairly young. The rest have all been simple carnal endeavors. This one though, I thought I actually loved at first. We were perfect for each other. The only problem was she was a hardcore christian. She also had lots of problems with guys before me, mostly they were assholes who would use her and abuse her and leave her in the gutter. I spent the first half of our relationship building up my credibility and gaining her trust, everything you do to build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. After a while, though, I changed my motives to, instead of building myself a foundation to make something between us, I built a foundation out of trickery and lies, praying off her trust in me that I had rightfully earned in the past.

I spent the better part of a year trying to ruin her belief in God and the "you just gotta have faith" mentality that she would so often bring to arguments. When I would visit her at school I'd do my best to have sex with her, which was against her moral code since we weren't married. n several occasions if I had pushed the final step I'd have won, but something always came up (goddamned busy college towns ) That's just the most notable.

I started the relationship with high hopes, but ended up using my trust I had gained to become the most manipulative of any of her boyfriends, and some of them were pretty bad. I kinda feel bad because I did have good intentions at the start, but I couldn't hold onto the good and spent a long time destroying someone mentally. What I really feel bad about though, is that I never quite finished my plan.

Christ, I'm a bad person.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I wish SA could remove probations and go back to banning because there's so many loving useless posts in pretty much every forum.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was in a 69 with my girlfriend, and whilst munching away I saw a tiny pebble of wet poop come out of her rear end.

I broke up with her because of this soon after, although I made up a lie about the reasons for the split.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Starting at around the age of 10, I was molested regularly by my older brother every night for three years. I never told anybody, and I fear that it has made me afraid of sex.

As a child, I was forced to beat my own dog with an encyclopedia. His cries still sound too vivid in my mind, and I cannot look at him without feeling horribly guilty.

I grew up being made fun of by nearly every one of my classmates when I moved from the ghetto to suburbia. It has made me hate most people I know, including a lot of friends that I have made in this town.

I contemplate suicide almost every waking moment of my life, but have never gone through on it.

I developed a spanking fetish at an early age, and since then have masturbated to the thought of my female friends being beaten by their parents or older siblings. I feel incredibly guilty for this.

I have felt like it is my fault for all the bad things that have happened in my life, and I hate myself so much for it. But if anyone of my friends asks me how I am, I can only lie and say that I am alright. I don't want to burden anyone with my issues.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My girlfriend hosed 5 guys in one week on vacation and I'll never tell anyone because I'm trying to forgive her and don't want my family to hate her forever if this works out.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

maus' avatar bugs the hell out of me, because i have to watch an animated gif all the way through and his is 64 loving frames! how obnoxious is that, it takes forever

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I know two fyad posters in real life and I used to be really good friends with them until I joined SA. They don't know I'm a goon or that I read what they post. Ever since I've lurked fyad my opinion of them has totally crashed. Now I secretly think that they're horrible, pathetic people. Internets!

Also I'll never go to a goon meet because I don't want to meet more people like this. It makes me sad and a little angry that some of the funny GBS posters who seem considerate and like good people are sticking their heads up their asses to be elite fyaders on other accounts.

I am aware that fyad will be laughing at this confession. J and M, I dislike you even more for it and I hope you both die somehow, you fat hypocritical fucks.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate rich people and have no compassion for them. They are sub human, particularly the aristocratic, obscenely wealthy type.
If you somehow run into a lot of money, you can give it to me, and then hate me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes I think about killing myself. But when I do, I realize that I want to kill everyone that pissed me off, but I know I'm not smart enough to get away with it before I kill them all. Hannibal Lecter is my hero.

I am utterly afraid of getting lost. Whenever I can't find what I'm looking for, driving or otherwise, I get so mad that I start to sweat and I cry from frustration.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think about raping and killing some of girls I've known. Some of the girls I think about were my old girlfriends, girls from high school, and even my friend's girlfriends. I secretly applaud murderers that get away with it, when I think that their victims deserved it (i.e. they were women).

I am friends with a girl at school and even though her boyfriend is really cool, I secretly hope they break up and she will want to gently caress me.

Pimpsolo fucked around with this message at Aug 23, 2005 around 19:16

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



Please don't email me any confessions about mods anymore, at this point I haven't been posting them anyway, as there is just no way that many women have hosed Lowtax, or I'm a little jealous.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have probably 500 people on my ignore list. If anyone says anything I think is remotely insulting to me personally, I put them on ignore. I read threads that I know will make me angry just to put more people on ignore.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I often lay awake at night and wish that the Star Wars Universe was real and that I could somehow live out the rest of my life there as a pilot for the Rebellion or a smuggler or something and then honestly start to get depressed because I know it will never happen.

I'm 22 years old.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I don't remember a lot of things from when I was a kid. I bottle things up and sometimes I think I was sexually abused, but I don't know who did it. Deep down, I know I've wet the bed (in junior high, once), pissed down a vent, told lies about my friends, and I've pretended to love women so they will gently caress me, then I dump them.

Even though I hate my ex's, I wish I could gently caress their brains out sometimes, and humiliate them in the worst ways possible.

Sometimes I think of ways to gently caress girls I know (that are "off limits" because of my friends), and get away with it.

I really, really really hate Bigpeeler. And TheSwami.

I also hate noisy eaters. Sometimes, if someone is eating noisily, I have to leave because I get so mad.

I also want to kill most everybody involved in politics (for their stupid views). And I think I'm very racist and bigoted. I loving hate Mexicans, and it's depressing to me to see them breed so much, only to have most of them be a complete waste of money, space, and air. In fact, I think pretty much anyone who isn't contributing to mankind's progress should die (Paris Hilton, Lawyers, fashion designers, etc.). I honestly believe that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This thread is depressing me. Reading through it, I feel like I haven't lived at all. Even the most depraved stories seem like fantasies of mine. I would give anything to gently caress my best friends girlfriend, and watch everything go to poo poo around me. Or to get some hot young slut pregnant. I want to ruin someone else's life. I want to be the villain in every generic hentai flick. I want people to feel me. I want them to know that I am alive. That I can cause damage and pain and love. I want to feel, and I don't care who gets hurt. I wish I could act on this, but I'm too frightened to do so. I don't even know how to meet new people, even on the loving internet.

I want to be a total rear end in a top hat. I want to let myself get away with it. I want to live.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes, I think I'm a border paedophile. I don't want to gently caress children, just High School girls (I'm 21). I mentored a few high schooler's last year when I was in College and I fantasized about one of them. What's really bad is when I convince myself that I'm not too old for her, even though she's 15 or 16.
Maybe a few years down the line it would be possible, but it's thoughts like that which really bother me sometimes.

I also want to gently caress my friend's sister and I can't wait for the day.
You know, at some point, I honestly believe everyone become "attracted" to someone unrealistically younger than ourselves and because of the notion of pedophiles is so heavily frowned upon, understandably. In many societies, I've read, this would be a culturally accepted age difference. Consider the past when the average lifespan of human was much lower. My guess is these impulses are generally anomalies? I'd say this doesn't sound too weird, maybe I'm putting myself in the line of fire on this topic though?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was really little (like 7), I was playing video games when a neighbor who lived down the street knocked on my door, asking if I wanted to play. He came from an abusive household and he was too poor to have a bike, so he must have walked about 1.5 miles. I didn't really like him so I told him I couldn't come out and play.
Also I would bitch to my parents and they would do my homework/fundraisers for me sometimes, and I was in a "gifted" class.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

For the past few years, I've been going through sporadic but extreme mood swings. I'll be normal for a good long time, but all of a sudden will swing into a near-suicidal depression for a few weeks until I pull myself out of it. "Thanks" to these wonderful weeks, I've decided that if I'm ever going to do the deed, it's going to be with sleeping pills at home with a short note explaining why with a few sage words of wisdom about why life is a loving joke taped above my bed.

I think about death a lot. A LOT. When I'm not in one of my above funks, I think about how I'd like to die while NOT depressed. I'll create elaborite fantasies in my head about being diagnosed with some terminal illness and bravely telling a few of my closest friends before I trek off to some foreign country to live out the rest of my days, or being in a bad traffic accident but hanging on long enough to say a final deathbed goodbye to my family and friends. Apparently, I want my death to be straight from some lovely Hallmark movie of the week.

I stole somewhere in the neighborhood of a few hundred dollars from my sister and my father for years, including most of the time that I had a job. My sister never had a real job until this summer and my father works like a dog 6 days a week to provide for my family, yet I still treated them like this. I always felt like poo poo when I was doing it, and I'm happy to say I stopped about a year ago.

I cried more when my dog was put down than when my uncle and grandmother died. It's not that I didn't love either of them, but I never felt anything when they died. I wish I knew what this meant.

I tried cutting myself for attention once, a few years ago. I'm very glad it didn't work.

I'm just two years out of high school, and I already believe that the best days of my life are behind me. I was reminiscing with a friend a few weeks ago about the summer we graduated, and I realized that I can't remember enjoying life anywhere near as much since then. That was a depressing thought.

Relationships:
I'm 20 now, and I've never so much as held hands with a girl. I had two of my female friends ask me out in high school; one was a complete psycho, and the other was nice, smart, funny, and reasonably attractive. I've no qualms about #1, but #2 bothers me from time to time, especially considering she's now engaged to another friend (last I heard, anyway).

Anybody who's listened to the new Dane Cook CD should know the joke about that friend in your clique that nobody likes. I have that friend, who has no idea whatsoever that it's him. Whenever our group gets together (without him 99% of the time), he always comes up, and he's always ridiculed so badly that I think he may honest-to-god kill himself if he ever found out that the few "friends" he has in the world treated him like utter poo poo behind his back. Deep down he's a good guy, but it's buried under layer upon layer of social retardation, nonsensical straight-edge bullshit, a massive ego, incredibly thin skin, spinelessness, and a superiority complex. I wish there was some way that I could tell him why he has so few friends, but I worry that he'd just think I was mocking him.

I am totally and completely obsessed with "the one that got away" in high school. To make a long story very very short, over the three years I really knew her, she dropped numerous subtle (winks and looks) and not so subtle (great backrub in the middle of class) hints that she really liked me, and I did absolutely nothing about it, for two reasons. One, I knew it would decimate the above loser friend, since I knew for a fact he was infatuated with her. Two, I was so scared of loving up our friendship by asking her out that I never got the balls to take the chance, and instead, I still long after her today, more than two years after we graduated and parted ways. If I don't think of her in one way or another at least once a day, it's a weird day, and since we graduated, my sex drive has been decimated because of it. I mean, everything still works like you'd assume for a 20 year old man, but I haven't even considered asking out a woman since then. I'm starting to worry that it might never recover, and instead, I'll spend the rest of my days wishing I had one chance to talk to her and tell her how I feel, irregardless of the outcome. Even if she had no interest in me at all, and I was just reading into everything way too much, at least I would know that it never would've happened anyway, and I could get on with my life. At this point though, I don't have much hope for that little scenario. If there are any high school kids reading this, for the love of christ, don't leave any loose ends when you graduate. Say what you want to say. You promise each other that you'll stay in touch and be friends forever, but it won't happen. You'll never see 85% of the friends you make in high school after commencement, so please, get your poo poo off your chest so you're not making a longass anonymous E/N post in a thread like this in a year.

Sigh. That was incredibly cathartic.
I understand a lot of people don't want to see e/n posts. I skim the long stories like this and if it appears there is something to be embarrassed about, and someone will enjoy the read, it's worth the post. If you feel it isn't, please just scroll down, these people put a lot of thought and time into their anonymous post. I'd rather leave it to the people who read this thread as to whether they want to read this or not, it is not my place to decide if this is or isn't good enough. Although I have been deciding that on a lot of others, if you questioned in your mind if something you just emailed me would get posted or not, it probably won't.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think im only staying friends with a girl i know just so i may have the chance to get to get in touch with with my ex again.
And also to get into her pants.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

To the goon who wants to taste human flesh...

It's not that tasty. I'm not going into details, but the person whose flesh I tasted is still alive, and it wasn't just "lol a strip of skin i am dark and edgy and mysterious". Human tastes pretty nasty, actually.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in HS I was best friends with the star athlete and one day we were out horsing around and climbing trees and poo poo. Well when he was out on this one limb I shook it on purpose and he fell and broke his leg. Pretty much ruined his chances at being athletic ever again.

I couldn't help it I was just loving jealous of him I just snapped. I feel really bad about it now too because that little incident ended up costing him everything and he wasn't even mad at me even though I think he knows I did it on purpose.


Probably beaten, but 100% fake. You're not the only one who read "A Separate Peace". Fag.

-------

A few years ago, I started dating a girl I met online. She lived some 700 miles away, but I flew out and saw her, and vice versa. She was the single nicest person I have ever known. She was incapable of deceit, she gave me unconditional love, trusted me completley, and was just all in all amazing. We were together for 2+ years, when within a two month period I met someone locally and got married. When I called up long-distance internet girlfriend and told her "We have to break up ... I'm married now", it absolutely devastated her emotionally. I feel terrible about it to this day and want to apologize, but don't know if I should. I know what forum she posts on and go there occasionally to search her posts and debate PMing her an apology, but never do. I doubt she is a goon, but just in case: I'm sorry for hurting you, Sarah.

-----------------

I am only interested in sex when it's with someone I haven't had it with before. As such, I have sex with my wife about once every 3-4 months, and even that is an effort. I've never cheated on my wife but the only women I'm attracted to sexually are those who I've never been with, and I'll probably end up cheating on her eventually.

----------------

Tires have a little screw in the valve stem that keeps the air in. It's that little pin in the middle. You can buy a device at auto parts stores that unscrews that. When I was in my teens, I'd go out in the middle of the night to apartment buildings and unscrew that valve stem core, upon which the tire would deflate within seconds. Not really sure why I did that, except that it seemed amusing at the time. Still does, though mingled with guilt.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned...

I am a burgeoning pedophile, a bisexual pedophile. I visit not4chan. A lot. When I think back on it, I believe that it all started when I was 7 or 8...

I had a friend who lived right across the street from me, I can't remember his name anymore, but we used to hang out a lot. I don't remember well how it sarted, but we had a thing going where we'd suck each other's dicks. Obviously at this age, we weren't pubescent, so it didn't really end in anything, although sometimes I wish it had.

One occasion I do remember, took place in his above-ground pool. My (older) brother was also in the pool, not more than 5 feet away, and I went down on my friend underwater. It has always haunted me whether or not my brother saw us.

I also have an irrational hatred of women in some ways. I do not have any problem with them in public and normal day to day things, but sometimes I feel like I want to hurt them (not anyone specifically). This might stem from my being raised by my mother on her own, most of the time. I lived with her for a good while until I was in my early twenties. We always got along very well, although I think she might have suspected that I was gay.

To this day, I remain a virgin, and I pray to god (figuratively), that such will stay the case. I want nothing more than to never harm a child, or another person at all. I do, however fear that I may end up raping/killing someone someday, and it scares me.

Perhaps I simply overthink things, and I like to make myself out to be more important than I am.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in the tenth grade, I hurt my right hand and wrist from masturbating too much. It left me with chronic pain and weakness, but that didn't slow down my masturbating habits as I had switched to my left hand. Whenever people would jokingly ask if I hurt my hand masturbating, a great wave of shame would rush over me and I would say it happened while exercising or some other bullshit. Sadly, over the years I have also started to feel slight pain in my left hand as well, not nearly as bad as the pain in my right hand, but enough to be an inconvenience. I know should slow down on the masturbating before my left hand ends up as bad as the right, but I can't will myself to do so. Also, I doubt still being a virgin at age 20 is helping matters at all.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 17. I've had two blowjobs, from 2 differetn girls, but I've never been kissed. And I've never had a girlfriend.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I wish I hadn't gotten a 1600 on my SAT, to be honest. I mean, it's not like I ever bring up the topic, but once or twice a year at college, in some kind of conversation, the topic rears its ugly head anyway, and I become either a liar (90% of the time) or a bragging dick, for telling the truth as humbly as I possibly can. Or I lie and I said I got a 1500. Seems kind of silly, though.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I started hurting myself recently because I wanted to know what it feels like. It wasn't about attention, I just wanted to know what it felt like.

Now, I can't stop. I do it more when I drink. I haven't bought myself to use a knife yet, but i use pretty much everything else I can find. Thumbtacks, sewing needles, forks, car keys, hair clips- I don't know if I can stop. Luckily, I'm fairly clumsy in nature, so I always make up stupid and hilarious but just believable enough stories.

I'm in an unhealthy and painful relationship that I can't break out of because i'm a pansy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes when I am having sex with my girlfriend I think about her sister.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Ive caused an accident on the freeway before. I merged into a clear lane from my packed one, and a white pickup truck had to brake hard and slammed its front end into a side wall. I watched this all in my rearview mirror. I did not drive for a few days because I was scared I would see this white pickup and he would kill me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

On the outside, I'm a rock hard...solid object, nothing can get passed my defenses. On the inside, I have years of repressed anger.

As much as I tell my friends that I'm over my ex-girlfriend, I'm not. I think about her everyday, wondering what it would be like if we were still together. We spent so much time together, and got along so well. She dumped me for another girl, who I despised. Oh well, at least I'm not a bipolar whore addicted to speed.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The anti-LJ thing is dumb. I think Livejournal is great. If you spend a few minutes looking, you can easily find extremely well-written comedy articles, astute political commentary from either side, genuinely interesting lives to read about, and anything else you might want.

In fact, I think if after any given SA frontpage update, you can go to the LJ "recent updates" page where they display the last couple hundred updates, and find something more interesting/funny/well-written than the SA frontpage.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I wrote a program to capture account information at my school's computer lab.
I got about 30 accounts, including a couple administrators. I went
through most of the accounts, and deleted their games, replaced
documents with shortcuts to goatse(this was before goatse died), and
used the admin accounts to give me more storage and privileges.
I also scrambled information in files using notepad to make them
corrupt in the accounts of the people I didn't like.

I only feel guilty about deleting the games. One of the courses was
really boring.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a virgin, I have no friends, and I'm a social retard I guess. But none of that poo poo matters to me. All that is true because I don't give a poo poo, really. I just wanted to get that out of the way just so people have some idea of how pathetic I am before reading what I'm about to write. Because it needs to be known, that I am one pathetic human being. It's only fair because I am.

I consider myself a very bad justice whore. There is something in my head that goes wrong when I see someone victimized. I've gotten hosed over by it when I was a kid. I'd see someone picking on someone or some stupid poo poo like that and I'd snap and start spouting profanity at them just to get their attention then they'd focus on me and I would be hosed, but I wouldn't be nearly as mad. This poo poo doesn't even click when I'm reading stuff on the internet or watching the news. I hear something about some girl being kidnapped and I don't even feel anything. For stuff I'm not witnessing it's just pure shocked or not shocked fluff and I change the channel not giving a poo poo, but if I see it something clicks and I go "OMGWTF BERZERK" and just lose control and get myself in a world of poo poo.

Since I am a lazy slob I decided to join the military, I figured "Hey what the gently caress, that place would make sense for a guy like me" and boy was I wrong. The military is the trash can of humanity. I was a big rear end to a lot of people because I wouldn't put up with their poo poo. But I got stepped on and I watched a lot of people get stepped on too unfairly and I just felt powerless and I feel guilty because I just stood around while some rear end in a top hat would lie and cheat for their own benefit and sometimes screwing people over.

Now I have this obsession with getting a college degree, becoming an officer, and laying the loving UCMJ on every stupid motherfucker I meet in the military. I don't even want to go JAG or any of that poo poo, I just want to be a normal line officer doing my thing loving over the people that like to gently caress over people. Like those Chiefs that think they've been in the Navy too long to be held accountable for the bullshit they pull on people. I'd be a cop but I doubt I'm qualified for a number of reasons. Doesn't matter, my military plan will do. I'm either going to try for Army or Navy, Marines and Air Force just won't do. Hopefully I get in and I can get myself a decent rank and just expose those dirty assholes to the might of the UCMJ and all things that are right.

Maybe do some good in Iraq or another war we're bound to have sooner or later. Whatever, I'm aiming to force the E-5 to E-7s that are scumbags to at least act like what a decent military person is supposed to be. If this poo poo fails, I'm going to feel like a complete loser because I don't know how else I'm going to vent all this I'm feeling.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a 23 year old guy and I'm bi but no one knows. My girlfriend of 3 years sometimes suspects my gay side but I just chalk it up as being metrosexual.

I work with several guys that I find attractive but I'd never tell them this since they're all definitely straight. We all makes jokes about about gay sex with each other and such except I'm actually meaning it. It arouses me as well and there is only about a foot of space between myself and a co-worker so hiding erections can be really difficult.

I'm also sexually attracted to an overweight girl who's my age but about 4 and a half feet tall. Not quite a midget but definitely not normal. She wants me as well but I haven't followed through for fear of retribution. I want her out of morbid curiousity than anything else really.

I've also been secretly dating another girl with my girlfriend not knowing for about a year now. I've spent so much money on her, paid for a trip to Vegas for us, paid for her to fly to Australia so I'm quite poor. I feign tough times at work as the root of my lack of money to my girlfriend and actually borrow money from her to pay rent and bills.

I lie a lot to all the parties involved obviously so I've lied about a lot of things that really wouldn't effect my relationships and work life. It's gotten so bad that I've started to believe some of the things myself and I don't know how to stop.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was about 5 years old my oldest brother made me stick a thermometer in my friend's rear end. He held a BB gun to my face until we agreed to do it. My brother took the thermometer after I was done, I don't know what he did with it. My friend was a male too.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I often get the crazy urge to go down on a man in the elevator. Right
there, no premise...

Working on the 10th floor of my building gives me a lot of time to think
about it, too. It's almost uncontrollable, and it doesn't matter if the guy
is skinny or fat or ugly or cute - as we're riding upwards or downwards,
it's just something that I want to do, to the point that I've had to punch
undestined floors, in order to get out before this urge takes over. I'm not
sexually deprived nor depraved, but it's very nearly overwhelming. WTF?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When i was 13 i got my first blow job. She was a 26 year old looking
17 year old. She had huge tits. I came in 2 minutes. She swallowed.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once met a girl in spades and we started chatting. Nothing every really happened and I didn't really care because we were pretty decent friends. We kept in contact using ICQ and also played a lot of spades together. One day she just stopped appearing online. That was almost six years ago. I always wondered what became of her.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I stalk a goon male viciously. I read all of his posts, his blog, every update on his website. I scour the depths of the internet looking for photos of him. I've gone so far as looking up his address with whois and looking at his house with google maps to see what kind of area he lives in. I tried pming him but I blew it badly, and I'm sure he was laughing at me on his side of the conversation. I continue to stalk him quietly from where I am. He lives extremely far away, though, so I'm sure it's useless. My friends laugh at me and mock me for my lust. I fantasize about raping him and get off on it.

I am the world's creepiest female stalker, but reading this thread has made me feel better. I am not alone in my stalking of sexy goons.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a bit of an elitist snob, moreso than I truly have any right to be. Though I won't be a jerk to anyone simply because (s)he doesn't dress or speak/write properly, I'll still feel secretly superior to that person. I'm also very stuck up about humour, although I recognise that I laugh at some really stupid and obnoxious things.

Ever since being introduced to hentai, a long long time ago, it's basically been my masturbation material of choice. Perhaps I was more susceptible to its purple-haired, unlikely busty and abundantly wet lures because I was just starting puberty and hadn't had much experience with genuine pornography, but it grabbed me and stuck with me. Starting out with simple pictures of naked ladies, I gradually moved on to edgier territory. I came to appreciate drawn blowjobs, which I felt pretty guilty about at first because I was looking at a dong in a girl's mouth and everything. In fact, I soon began to concentrate my quests for Japanese cartoon porn on blowjob scenes. To cut a long story short, I've been pretty enamoured with dickgirl hentai for some time now. Somehow I appreciate the intensity of a fake woman's sexual pleasure better when she's experiencing it through a penis. This is probably why I'm a pretty big fan of Sybian videos, too (great, convincing orgasms without all the "OOH AHH OOH AHH GIVE ME COCK OH YES I AM SO HOT" nonsense). Or maybe I just have some Freudian penis fixation, though I'd know if I were actually gay. However, I have a real love/hate relationship with Japan (mostly for the misoginy), so besides being into a rather bizarre fetish I have another reason not to like the fact that this stuff arouses me so much.

Despite being picked on in primary school for many years (I was the smallest kid in class and quite sensitive, so I could be made to cry easily), in the first two years of secondary school (junior high if you will) I did some things to other kids that I now regret. Comparatively speaking it wasn't all that bad and I only really behaved like a enjoyable human being a few times, but it was stupid and infantile regardless and it annoys me that I ever tried to bully anyone in the first place. Sorry guys.

In the last four or five goldmined threads I've posted in, none of my entries ended up in the final Comedy Goldmine. They may not have been amazingly funny, but they definitely weren't FARK abortions either. I now believe Mayor Wilkins doesn't include mine on purpose, which I begrudge but which also makes me really sad. Why don't you like me Mayor Wilkins?

Whenever I'd play Wacky Wheels with a friend, I'd constantly abuse the function keys to annoy him with the devil guy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a straight male, yet I masterbate on a regular basis to gay furry porn. = (

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A girl hosed me over bad. Made up a lot of poo poo about me and basicaly ruined my reputation in town. Everyone thinks I'm a rapist and a womanizer. I'm still a virgin for christssakes! Girls won't even go near me anymore. I'm angry at her. I've thought about how I'm going to kill her. I want to set her on fire. No, I want to tie her up, beat the living poo poo out of her, and then choke the life out of her with my bare hands so that with her last breath she'll know what a hosed up pathlogical liar deserves.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I spent three years developing a perpetual motion machine that was fueled entirely by gravity. After building a successful prototype, I destroyed it for fear that big energy companies would kill either myself or my family.
(Not that I believe your poo poo confession) I want to confess this, and have never told anyone before, not that I want to hide it but at least once a day I think very seriously about different designs for a good 5-10 minutes every single day, I'm 100% serious. It's pretty irrational I guess, I don't know how it started.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I had sex with a sixty year old Jamaican woman for a car…
And, god drat it, it was the best sex I ever had!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm in love with a girl I haven't talked to in 5 years. Her life got hosed up after we broke up and I want to cry about it. She had a baby and I think she is alone besides her close friends, she was in a place in her life that I was uncomfortable with so I broke up with her. She turned into a tearaway and got pregnant with some rear end in a top hat who has disappeared. She has grown up alot since then.

I want to help her so much. When I see her on the street I try too look away as if I didn't see her, but I know she thinks I'm avoiding her and she probably thinks I'm pathetic. I don't want to avoid her, our lifes are too different now so thats why I do it, but even so I love her and I want to make her happy more than anything and I know she wants someone although she probably wouldn't think twice about me.

The times I have seen her around I do catch her looking at me, I pretend I'm lost in conversation with my friends but I'm always wary of her.

I don't hold her on a pedestal, I know all of her flaws, I just know I could treat her better than anyone has in her past that I know of.

I also blame my own troubles on a sequence of events that happened after our break up. I can no longer talk to girls without making them hate me (on purpose) I can only think of a few girls I dislike, but many more think I dislike them when in fact I'm lifted by their presence.

I also think E is the best drug in the world but I'm afraid of it sometimes.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love Hentai. I especially love Resident Evil Hentai. For some reason the image of Nemesis tentacle raping Jill while Carlos watches and whacks off is incredibly arousing. Jill and Claire slobbering over a zombie's gray, rotting dick while two rotting cerebuses gently caress them in the rear end doggy style is pretty hot too.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I too wish I could date a goon. I'm emotionally stable, realistic, fairly intelligent, but too socially chicken to try talking to goons. I'm also afraid of the misogynistic "attention whore" backlash. I secretly am hoping for PMs.

I also have a huge e-crush on Mayor Wilkins and I really want to hear his radio show on GBSFM but I always have to work at that time.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a very attractive wife who I love and who loves me very much. The confession is that my biggest fantasy is to be cuckolded by her and to watch her have sex with well hung men black men.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I purchased a $400, very realistic Batman costume off eBay. Every couple weeks or so I put on the costume and hide, at night, in the parking lot near the east wing of my college. When I see an attractive girl walking alone to her car, I jump out and chase her, yelling things like "BATMAN'S GONNA surprise sex YA!!" or "I KNOW IT'S loving YOU, CATWOMAN, YOU BITCH!!"

I later masterbate to the memory of their expressions of terror. I've only been maced once.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Let me preface this confession by stating I'll be 19-years-old in a little over a month.

I've never kissed a girl nor have I been sexually active. I fear that when the time finally comes to kiss a girl, I'll do it wrong. Because I don't know how to kiss and I don't really have anyway to learn. Sometimes when I hear stories of people being sexually active with a friend at 13 I wish it could be me so I could practice for when it actually counted.

Secondly, I have a huge problem dealing with new situations. Starting College and a new job in a little over a week has me nervous to the point where I break down at least once a day and begin to panic. I dread the day until it comes, if I make it through I usually like it.

I suppose neither of these are that odd, but they dig deep into me every loving day.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I almost killed my wife. I didn't physically do anything to her, but I wanted to, probably more than anything else in my life. Late one night I finally put two and two together and realised she was cheating on me. She was sleeping in bed and I was on the computer. I went to the bed and looked at her, so peaceful and content with her lies. I reached my hands down toward her neck but I stopped myself. I did this four or five times that night, and at least once a week for the next month. I don't know why I stopped, but that was the moment I stopped loving her, and that was the moment our relationship ended, in my mind.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forigive me for i have sinned badly,

I managed over the course of a year through manipulation and lying and much much more to convice a Full on emo/goth Lesbian who was 14 at the time, to completly turn over, stop trying to cut herself (most of the time), sleep with me and eventually go out with me.
I am three years older than her.

Theres much more sinning involded in that fiasco, (and karma comes back to bite me in the rear end), but yeah its kinda long and i kinda wanted to just get it off of my chest.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I also whacked it to the 12 DD cup jap girl.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a lurker. I used to have an account, but it was unused and deleted in a purge before the forums went pay. I've been lurking ever since and wish I had the nerve and cash to justify a new account.

On with the real stuff.

I've suffered with crippling clinical depression since 8th grade, after a major family bereavement. Everything was okay for a while, but then the grief caught up with me and my life went to hell. I failed to finish high school, despite my teachers predicting great things for me, and have done basically nothing with my life in the four or so years since dropping out.

I refused to admit my problems and get help until it was way too late. Finally I tried one brand of medication, decided it wasn't working, and stupidly went cold turkey after only 6 weeks. This had a really bad effect on my mind, including a fit of violent rage that led to me threatening my mother and ending up in a jail cell for a night. It has never happened again, but I'm so ashamed that I still feel guilty three years on and noone outside the family knows about it.

I developed a total disregard for and disinterest in my friends during this time and, needless to say, one by one I lost touch with all of them. The last time I saw a 'real life' friend was in February 2002. Since then I've made numerous attempts to contact them via email, but have not heard back from anyone. I am incredibly lonely and sometimes cry myself to sleep.

I have never had a girlfriend, been kissed in a sexual way and am still a virgin.

I do have a few online friends, but none of them know about any of this stuff other than the depression part. I've told so many lies to them in an attempt to make myself look better, or at least "normal", that I may as well be living a separate life online. I am madly in love with one of them, but can never do anything about it because of this.

In the past couple of years I have tried therapy and a couple more types of meds, but nothing seems to work. My doctor classifies me as disabled because of this, and I live on disability benefits. If anyone asks me what I do, in the rare times I leave the house, I tell them I am a student taking a year out before I go to university. Mainly because of the stigma attached to my real situation and the fact that everyone seems to be scared when I talk about it openly. I wish I could tell the truth.

Suicidal thoughts have become more and more prevalent in my mind recently, and I will probably act on them soon.

Thanks for the opportunity to get this off my chest. This probably isn't the best place to do so, but it helped a bit.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Great thread, duder.

My wife is one of two women I've ever had sex with. She still thinks she's the only one, but I met up with an Internet girlfriend (AFTER my wife and I started dating, but before we got engaged) and had one major fling. I'll probably never tell my wife, even though this happened eight years ago.

I'm incredibly happily married, but I still masturbate constantly (at least twice per day, if not more) and lust after other women. I regularly jerk it at work, especially if I'd just managed to get a glimpse down someone's blouse or someone's nipples were up while we were talking or something. There are a couple of women at my work that I wonder if I could resist if they came on to me. One of them privately confessed nymphomaniacal tendencies to me last week and she's been much on my mind since then. Also, a couple of years ago, I grabbed the rear end of an old college girlfriend when I gave her an otherwise platonic hug. Despite my dirty-old-mannish thoughts, that's the closest I've physically come to anything untoward.

I like to think that my wife doesn't know about my masturbating, but she probably does. I worry that it would make her feel inadequate or that I'm not happy, which is very much untrue. It's a hard subject to bring up in casual conversation, though.

My cousin tried to molest me when I was about 8 and he was nearly 20. I was incredibly naive and didn't even realize what he was attempting until years later. This made family things awkward, since he and my sisters were very close and they invited him to all the big family gatherings. Later he became a drunk and a druggie and a gay man-slut and slowly drifted away from the family, which suited me fine. A couple of years ago, he had an auto accident which caused him permanent brain damage. The first thing I thought was, "Well, that's fitting." I still take a sort of dark satisfaction in what his life has become. There's a part of me that's horrified by that.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

I'm married, a little overweight, and I'm in the closet bisexual. My wife doesn't know it.

Problem is, I'm predominately straight. I prefer women, but don't mind sucking a little cock every now and then. BUT. Since I'm predominately straight, I'll only suck a cock when its with a woman present. Like a threesome.

Further problem is, the internet only presents me with bi couples that are older. So I've had several cheating bisexual relationships with older couples (I'm 30 they're 45-55). I like having sex with bisexual couples in that age group.

I'm going to hell whether you forgive me or not.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

still have a horrible crush on my ex-fiance whom I broke up with a week after our engagement. He is Bisexual, and I'm gay (Lawl Gay dudes). I can't think of a single thing I would not do for that man but yet I broke up with him. I want him to abuse me.

Wow this is turning into a bad E/N post, in all seriousness I seriously want to gently caress a horse also.
Like... get hosed, or gently caress?

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When my older sister got back from being away for a year or so, for some reason she made me really horny. Twice I got naked and humped her bed while the house was empty. I still have the occasional wet dream about her. gently caress.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once touched a young boy as he slept because I was curious. Every time I remember it I want to be shot and hope that he doesn't remember or even know about it, as that would lead to many mental problems for him later in life, not to mention jailtime for me.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a fairly quiet and passive guy on a day-to-day basis, but put me behind the wheel of a car and I become a raging psychopath, with a belief of driving skills that rival Michael Schumacher.
I speed excessively, overtake on double lines, cut people off, yell, give the finger all the time and I'm very positive I caused an accident once.

And it's not something I'm really ashamed of, in fact I'm quite proud of it. Makes me feel like a big man.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 22 years old and I still pick my nose and eat my boogers, I love it, especially in the morning when my nose is full of dried up over-night boogers. Sometimes I'll grab the tweezers and pull them out while looking in the mirror, I love it so much.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My worst enemy is myself.

I suffer from a crippling lack of self-esteem, brought about in large part thanks to a sheltered upbringing in which I wasn't given many opportunities to go out and fend for myself.

When I was a kid I would be pissed about not being allowed to do stuff, whether going out to make friends or taking part in extra-curricular activities at school, but over time the desire to do these types of things has gone away. It's as if I've had a limb representing my curiosity and spirit of adventure which over time has withered and shriveled into disuse, and over time I've gotten used to it I suppose in the way someone would get accustomed to a club foot.

Anyway, it sucks because I see in myself the potential to do great things, but I'm deathly afraid to even try. What started as a wear in the carpet of my soul thanks to my hypercritical parents has over time become a groove, then a rut, and now a trench which I often feel I can't visualize myself climbing out of.

I've wondered whether I should try doing cocaine or something, not so much for the high but for the purported ability of cocaine to at least temporarily increase confidence and remove inhibitions. Maybe then I could inspire myself to try something without fear of it failing.

Now I'm something of a psychopath I guess. I can be perfectly calm while talking with someone I despise, but imagine eviscerating them and draping their entrails around them like a necklace. Plucking out an eyeball of theirs and biting into it like a grape in front of them. Smashing finger by finger, toe by toe with a claw hammer and happily humming all the while.

I have exacted revenge in untold, covert ways to those who have wronged me, and I rejoice with a silent, inward smile when I interact these people and revel in their suffering brought about by me.

I hold grudges forever and beyond. I am passive aggressive as hell and no one had better gently caress with me or I will follow them until hell and bury them in lava and poo poo in their loving mouth for all eternity.

Words, words, words, I know. I haven't had the opportunity to say double-tap some rear end in a top hat who has hosed with me, hell, I don't even own a firearm. But I think if pushed I easily have the potential to go ballistic and tear someone apart. I await the ultimate test of this... maybe too eagerly. I have a list of people whom I would love to torture and kill but I have taken no action in that regard against them.

I also have a healthy conscience, believe it or not. I am a kind, charitable, patient soul, and I have a dear wife and loving friends. Maybe the damage done to me has inspired me to treat those whom I love with the utmost kindness, the opposite of what I got growing up.

Parents, particularly conservative, religious parents, be warned. Don't restrict your children, let them explore the world. Don't bother trying to hide from them the things that curiosity leads them to. Guide them, but don't hobble them, for you do them a great disservice.

Put them into the water of the world and let them swim for themselves and learn how to live. I warn you, if you do not, YOU CREATE MORE LIKE ME.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I moved to the oppsite coast, I had to leave my two best friends behind. We swore we'd keep in touch, visit each other, and so on.

It's been almost 3 months and I've never once even emailed, and I'm not sure why.

And even though I'm gonna be sitting around doing nothing for the next hour or so, I'm probably still not going to write to them.

But I think about them all the time, and miss knowing they're right around the corner so much sometimes I want to cry.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The confessions thread convinced me to put a picture in my profile so that maybe some lonely girl goon will get an eCrush one me. But it doesn't matter because all the girls I meet on the internet end up being fat. I'm lonely, but I'm not THAT lonely.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes I think I use being a transsexual as an excuse to let my life stay hosed up- since I'll never be "normal" or "right" anyway.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In my senior year of high school I had a huge vendetta against a cheerleader who mocked me during one of my classes, it wasn't anything particularly mean she just sassed mouthed me and I decided I get back at her in the cruelest way possible, as a sort of experiment. During the time that she mocked my I was about 200 pounds and 6 feet tall, after we graduated I went into a grueling work out routine and turned into a pretty good looking guy, I dropped about 20 pounds and got some muscles I didn't even know existed, it was quite an accomplishment. The month before college started I saw her at the mall and walked up to her and started talking, she was fond of my new looks and agreed to go on a date. I woo'ed her and we started going out every day to the movies and such. About a week before college started she said she had a gift for me and told me to come over, I arrived at her parents house to find candles and light jazz playing, as we began to make out and press on to third base. Then she said the magical words "I think I love you." I stood up, looked her in the eyes and said, "I don't think I could ever love someone like you." I never talked to her again after that day.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

There's a goon who shares the same secret I do, and I think she's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

But she's dating someone who, while I know she loves this person very much, I really don't think is very good for her. Sometimes I think about stealing her away, and sometimes I just wish I could be a good, supportive friend for her and help her figure out what she'll be happiest with, whatever that ends up being.

And the only reason I feel comfortable risking her recognising who this is is because we're so lousy at keeping in touch with each other I sometimes think we're never gonna end up knowing each other at all anyway.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes I freak out when I realise that all my best friend's friends are horribly broken disfunctional idiots, because what the hell does that say about *me*.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a gay guy in a great relationship, but sometimes, I doubt my sexuality. While I'm not attracted to women, I do wonder if I hadn't been such a loving nerd in school and picked up a chick, I wouldn't have started loving guys.

I also love watching porn where guys eat out chicks. So hot.
Classic case of chicken and the egg. I highly doubt things could have been different, whether you wanted them to be or not.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am not sure if I should send this as a confession, as its not something I am at all sorry for, it is something I deeply enjoy. I work as an escort. Reading this thread led me to spend some time wondering if I would count as valid prey for the extortionist from near the beginning - I reckon it depends if his idea of buttertroll is a realistic one, or the internet nerd type one, where any girl over a size 8 is clearly the fattest thing in the world and should be ridiculed. I'm a size 12-14, and have had no complaints from my clients. Many say they like a girl with a womanly figure. But thats all an aside.

There are two people who know I do this, my husband (also a goon) and my best friend. Both are fine with it. I would stop immediately if my husband decided he wasnt happy with it any more. My friend is curious and is considering starting herself.

I have made over £8,500 in the last 6 months, doing this part time only. I average £220 per visit. I get annoyed when people instantly assume any form of prostitution is exploitative. I have spoken (via IRC) to a number of other 'working girls' and the general attitude amongst those who are doing it because they want to is that if anything the men are exploited, as they're the ones paying huge amounts of money. However, obviously any situations where a girl is coerced into prostitution against her will is bad. Being an 'independant' the only person who could be exploiting me is myself...there is no-one who makes me work and I would not have it any other way.

I am sexually submissive, and a key part of why I love doing this is because it feels exceedlingly submissive to have sex with a man I have no sexual attraction to whatever because he has paid me to. This fact alone makes me wet, and ensures I get off. I also love being hosed by loads of different men. I fantasize about being gang-banged by loads of guys, and am in contact with a number of people regarding arranging it. Whats even better is the pay for such activities is even higher - I could easily make over a thousand pounds in one day doing this sort of thing.

This is something I am not embarrased about, indeed it is something I want to talk about with people (especially those with stereotypical ideas about prostitutes) but I don't want people to know who I am. I have been debating setting up a seperate account just to post about this, but I worry I will forget sometime and post when logged into the wrong account.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I want to write a "confession" php script because of this thread. Then maybe create a website dedicated to it. I want to for the sake of improving my php skills but at the same time I don't want to waste time doing it; free time which a jobless person has.

I also want to make money off the internet in someway. That desire, curiosity and the desire to create things, have all modivated me in learning different programming languages.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

-When I was 17 I had sex with a 13 year old friend, while I know its not technically illegal I always felt like a pedo. Oh and did I mention that she was my girlfriend's best friend.
-One night after a visit to one of those arcades where you turn in tickets for cheap prizes, me and a couple of friends are sitting in the car at a gas station while one of their moms was inside paying for gas. We decided to soak the little popper things we won as prizes in gas. Not realizing that wet poppers wouldn't do anything we tried to pop them a few times and got disappointed and put them back in the box with the others. Now there was a long line inside to pay, so we came across the idea of hurling poppers at traffic driving by. All was going well until we hear a really loud pop when I hit a car in the front windshield with one of these now dry super poppers. And I'm not sure what ungodly combination of factors let a little popper shatter an entire windshield but the whole thing was sitting in the laps of the mother and young child in the car. They never had any idea that there were a few delinquents hurling incendiary devices at passing traffic and they pulled into the gas station and thought it was a rock that got kicked up from traffic.
-When I was 5 me and a friend were playing in traffic while waiting for the school bus and caused a rather large accident.
-I once left a girl for someone I met online... on EVERQUEST... holy poo poo what was I thinking... oh yeah, this was the same girl I cheated on with the 13 year old.
-I get turned on by watching other guys gently caress my girlfriend, and she has no problem with this arrangement.
-I'm a total rear end in a top hat who is very persuasive and doesn't like to admit when I'm wrong and I end up making people feel like poo poo for things that are really my own fault. I'm sorry for all the times I've done it in the past and all the times I'll do it in the future.
-When I was 14 I was wandering the streets in the middle of the night with friend and we found a cookbook on the side of the road, for some reason the cookbook offended us and we lit it on fire and tossed it into the restarunt we found it in front of. Also this night, we threw 2 12 packs of pepsi off of a freeway overpass, luckily we only hit 1 car.
-I had a BB gun and would frequently shoot my neighbors with it.
-at one point we lived about 2 houses down from a CPS officer, who turned his head the other way at the glaring abuse and neglect happening at my house. We broke every window in his house 17 times over the course of 2 years and slashed at least 5 sets of tires and when he was trying to build an addition to his house, we tore down the walls. Also, me and a brother had slingshots and were such good shots that one of us would shoot their door to make them come open it and the other one would nail whoever answered it. sadly, our ammuntion was dog food that I was eating because of all my food allergies I couldn't eat most of what my stepmom cooked. My oldest stepbrother stole a car and crashed it into this guys house as well, but he was caught and punished for it.
-our neighbor across the street felt bad because she knew that we weren't getting enough to eat and one day stopped by with 2 grocery bags of apples for the kids to eat. We were offended because instead of bringing us real food, reporting our parents for welfare fraud or calling cps outright she brought us loving apples. We spent 2 days throwing those apples back at her house. And we didn't even stop after the police paid us a second visit to ask us to stop. As a bonus, she had a hot daughter that a couple of my step brothers like to watch through her window, I might be a piece of poo poo, but I have more respect for women than that.
-To the guy who I stole Maria from, I'm sorry. And to the 2 engagements I've broken up by loving the bride to be in the last 6 months.. I'm not sorry. Mabye you should have stopped doing drugs and/or stayed your rear end out of prison.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me john lovitz, for i have sinned.

I once blew up the engine in my perents car by doing burnouts and just generally thrashing it, cost them $3,500 to replace.

I'm also way to stingy to pay for a SA account so i lurk on the forums while i send out spam to try fraud people out of there credit card details.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to be friends with a guy who went to school with me and lived a few houses down the road. He had a cat. The cat used to come by to my place often, probably because she didn't get very good treatment at her own home. One day, for some reason that I still can't explain to myself or to anyone else, I decided to keep the cat locked in my bedroom. Maybe it was because I was angry about it being mistreated, or maybe I'm using that as an excuse because it still doesn't explain what I did afterwards. Anyway, two days passed with the cat still in my bedroom. My friend came to school really worried and almost in tears. He wanted to come over that weekend so I knew I had to get rid of the cat. I couldn't bring myself to kill it, so I took it into the bathroom, put it in the tub, wet it, and lathered it with shaving cream. I then proceeded to shave her rear end. I shaved nowhere else but the rump area. I then washed the lather off and let her go. She must've made her way home, although my friend was baffled over why her rear end was shaved. I couldn't help but go bright red when he told me about it (over and over). The cat no longer comes over to my house.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I don't love my son, and I don't know why.
Maybe he isn't your son. http://www.mauryshow.com/ Are you a man accused of fathering one or more children? If you don't believe these children are yours and want to take a paternity test call the Maury Show at 1-888-45-MAURY, that's 1-888 45-MAURY.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have been cyber-seducing a goon's girlfriend for the past three months or so. All parties involved are goons, including my girlfriend. We have discussed, in great lengths, what we want to do to each other, but haven't physically acted upon anything. I drive past her house pretty much every day on my way to work, and often entertain the thought of stopping by for an hour or two.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Like half the confessions. I'm not fat or ugly but when i chat to girls who i really think are attractive they always intimidate me by how hot they look. And i have a weird problem of not being able to chat to girls and thinking of nothing to say and just mummble or look at the floor in self disgust also if i ever hear someone talking about some boyfriend they hosed i want to murder the guy.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

During the last days of my mother's death, I chose to do weed and hang out with losers rather than see her wilt away. She was dying a slow painful death, on a lot of medication, and I did what I could in fits of sympathy, and drifted away when apathy hit.

She would wait late at night for me to come home, and I would get pissed off and ask her to leave my room. I wanted to jerk off on my computer and she was harshing my marijuana buzz.

If only I'd known that she'd die and I'd never be talk to her again.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was sexually abused by my brother from the age of 6 to 15. It felt good, but I asked him to knock it off once I realised how wrong it was. He's married and has a kid, and I'm a slut and a mindfuck. I seem to attract dysfunctional women only.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A few short ones:

I make more money than anyone else my age that I know. When I see college friends at parties, I feel like some sort of king or celebrity.

While two of my friends were passed out at a party, I had sex with both of their girlfriends at the same time.

When I make dinner for me and my girlfriend, I always give her the smaller portion because I think she's gaining too much weight.

I didn't like the ARC cd at all. It just goes to show that anyone can make electronic music, but not everyone can make it original or enjoyable. If someone sent that cd back in time 5 years and Lowtax listened to it, he'd probably say the same thing.

When my friends leave their drinks around the house, I pee in them just a little bit.

Every time TheSwami makes a thread, I open it up, vote it a 1 without reading a single word of it, and go about my business.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I get scared to make threads because i have been called a retard for my spelling and grammar, even though im dyslexic and wanted to kill myself because of it.

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anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

At my last job, which I left 4 months ago, I borrowed a 256 MB USB flash drive and a book from my boss. I never returned them, and I'm not even sure if he realizes they're missing.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've only rimmed one girl in my life, my ex. I rimmed her once in our farewell gently caress, and once two years later. When I masturbate, the thought of rimming someone makes me come in seconds.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm losing hair and I'm wondering if I should get married before I go bald. My dick still works but I last less than a minute in a tight stinkyhole.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I haven't done anything in life I really truly regret except maybe dropping my cat when I was 7 years old from about 6 feet in the air to see if she would land on her feet. However, I recently broke up with my fiancee of 3.5 years because he suddenly became unsure of whether he loved me or not and has to determine in which way he loves me, and also because he's going to Japan for a few months and wants freedom to do whatever he desires with women and whatnot. I know I should get over him, but I'm having a really hard time going from engaged to single and then thinking about being with someone else. I'm afraid I'm just going to end up loving for him the rest of my life, even when I could find someone who appreciates me more for who I am and vice versa...

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've straightened out, chopped my hair, been off drugs, and worked hard at my job. I'm going to try this for a couple of years. If it doesn't get better, I'm going the other way till it's operation fuckit and die.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think the NAACP is bullshit, it's a racist organization. If white people started the NAAWP (National Association for the Advancement of White People) people the blacks would have a hissy fit saying that WE'RE racist and they should be able to join our organization too.

You know it's true, don't even try to deny it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I secretly and genuinely believe that the world would be a better place if the technology in the movie "The Stepford Wives" existed.

Bitches only need tits and a gash, and cooking/cleaning skills. Brains and personality are wasted on them. I would make the (few) hot girl goons my personal sex slaves, and life would be wonderful.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Here goes nothing:

I assisted in robbing an 80 year old man when I was about 7. He lived by himself. My friend stole his money box whilst me and another girl distracted him at his front door. There was about £500 in there. He noticed about 4 days later (he was slightly senile) and when he alerted the police and neighbourhood, they just blamed it on his dementia and said things such as "There was never any "money box" you crazy old man!"

I am interested in beastiality, but have never really tried it. I doubt I will.

I procrastinate too much. I am capable of getting straight As but hosed up my GCSEs, got Ds at A level and by some crazy miracle I am studying medicine. I pity the poor soul I treat. I should be revising for resits right now, but here I am. I am also too lazy to eat so I'm wasting away. I only eat when it is absolutely necessary in order to live.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was at a large amusement park and I played the "I'll guess your name and if I don't you win a prize" game. Well, the person running the game guessed it right and I lied and said they were wrong. I felt like poo poo. :/

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a lecturer at a medium-size state college. When male students or ugly/fat girls visit my office with questions, I act put-upon and officious, hoping they will think that I am busy and leave.

When attractive female students visit during office hours, I am patient and very helpful.

I honestly don't care if any of the students learn anything at all - it's a good job that pays the bills and gives me plenty of free time (including summers!). I only hope that someday I get some action from a hot young coed.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I sometimes like to check out the early teen girl pedo pics on Kazaa. I have a fear of getting caught though but I still do it. FYI the best words to search to find these are [edited]"******" and "*****"[/edited].

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I won't even talk to a white girl after she has dated a filthy dirty [black person].

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

closeenough is the best person ever. Let's put her on our buddy lists and quote all her posts.

p.s. she's also pretty

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

\\\\-/

I have trouble improvising. When I say "improvising," I mean doing just about anything that isn't carefully planned and calculated. When I walk into a restaurant or some other foreign public place full of people I don't know, I barely take notice of who's there or what's happening because I'm terrified of looking around. I'm self-conscious and afraid of standing out or doing something wrong. Sometimes this ends up making me even more conspicuous. I just go in and do whatever it is I'm trying to do (order food, find a table and sit to eat) making as little contact with other people as possible. At least, this happens when I'm alone. I don't know if my friends have caught on.

I have little initiative. My record shows that I'm capable of doing some pretty amazing things (academically, especially) but I rarely come up with fresh ideas or plans, even in simple situations.

I get the impression that I'm well-liked by my friends, but I feel as if this is undeserved.

I'm gay, and nobody knows it as far as I know. I bet that at least a few people suspect it, due to my complete lack of a romantic life. (When I say "complete lack", I mean that I've never even been on a date, and I'm about 20 years old. How's that for pathetic?)

I am paranoid. I'm afraid that somebody I know will read this and know it's me. It's taking significant effort for me to actually get the nerve up to send this.

__\\_\\\\|-_/__\\|--|-\\
The gently caress is all that "\/\\\//" poo poo?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I collect T.A.T.U. mp3s. I have most of the songs they released in the US, and a few that were only released in Russia, and even some original Russian versions.

Something about cheesy pop by fake-lesbian Russian teen girls is just awesome.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes when I think back at the times in my "trial" stage of early teenage life when me and my friends (boys) would touch each other and suck each other's dicks, I get aroused and get a hard-on.

I am not gay whatsoever.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Though not nearly as bad as most of these, here is my confession:

-I lost the love of my life because I was lazy, and despite the fact that I had a decent job I didn't want to do anything with my life. I also played lots of video games and she felt ignored.

-I self medicate my social anxiety with ciggarettes, and though I told my now ex-girlfriend I had quit for her I didn't until roughly two months before the relationship ended. I think she might have suspected, but she never said a word and believed me when I told her I didn't smoke. I feel like poo poo because of this to this day.

On to a different kind of confession:

-I wish the world would experience a zombie crisis Romero style so I would have an excuse to shoot people. Plus it would make day-to-day living more interesting.

-I've been a member for almost a month now, only posted like two or three times and have lurked every day since laying out my 10 bucks. 90% of the time I don't understand what the gently caress is going on in regards to forum politics (or even what FYAD is suppose to be, for that matter) and I don't think I ever will.

-I'm very disturbed at the amount of panty-related stories being told, but laugh at them all the same.

And for a little bit of member fellation (as apparently it's the hip thing to do.):

-For some reason whenever I've been a member of a forum I always see someone with a particular personality trait who tends to stick out amongst the crowd. In SA's case (at least what I've seen of it thus far) this person is 666. I find these people to be absolutely hilarious for some unknown reason.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The first time I ejaculated, I was going down on myself. In my defense, I had no idea that that was going to happen. I spat.
I could probably be a contortionist if I pushed myself, but I've got a phobia of ending up as some nut-job's fetish.

Now that I got that off my chest, it really doesn't seem so bad. At least I've never killed anything (with an endoskeleton, anyway.)
I used to stare out my window for hours with my cock in my hand watching the 12+ year old girls ride around on golf karts all sweaty and barely clothed with their perky tiny little breasts and cute little asses taunting me.

I have no regrets, just a raging boner.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It's been 16 years since my
last confession.

Where to start?

I called several phone sex lines from my old roommates apartment after
she moved out, and left me with the last two months rent. The
Apartment was in my name, but the phone line was in hers. I haven't
talked to her since.

I dated a fat girl I met on the internet for two months, just so I
could get laid. She clocked in at about 350 pounds, and thought I was
the best thing in the world. After having sex, I realized that the
condom came off at one point, and freaked out. I took her to the ER
the next day for the morning after pill, and paid for everything out
of pocket. I met her parents later that day, and they wouldn't shut
up about us getting married. I couldn't handle the pressure, and
broke up with her a week later. I still haven't paid the rest of the
medical bill. The only thing I feel guilty about was the amount of
money I spent on her. I could have gotten a whore from Craigslist,
and save a few hundred dollars.

I'm looking for one job while the one I'm at is planning to send me to
Canada and everyone but the program manger knows this.


I'm also a totalfark subscriber.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm going to turn twenty in November, and I male. A friend who is reading this thread will probably be able to figure out who I am, but as for the rest of you, I'm just a nobody. I think I've posted in GBS once.

I was homeschooled through the entirety of highschool, a period of which I did absolutely no educational work and simply bullshitted all of my assignments. My parents didn't care, because I always did well on the tests that mattered, and because I had an actual paying job for most of the whole time. I worked in a small office doing mostly amateur IT work. For over five years my social interaction was so retarded (hampered, not mentally disabled, though may be one and the same) that the longest I ever spoke to a human being outside my family was probably to order lunch at a McDonald's drive-thru.

I am absolutely terrified to go to college because of this. I want to go to college, my family wants me to go to college, but I've been sabotaging myself along the entire route TO college as a result of this fear. I purposely did lovely on my SATs to cut down on answers, I've yet to get a required immunization (Hepatitis B) for applications, and I have put off completing this last highschool course for so long that I don't even know if I'm still eligible to graduate. And if I'm not, all the better, because nothing has ever scared me more than having to face a university full of people.

Of course I've also never dated, never kissed, still a virgin, etc. Everything else you get along with the rest of us terrible shut-ins. I only get depressed when I listen to internet friends talk about their social lives, though.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Once i got a boner while i was looking at cartoon porn. It was in that "Badly Drawn Futurama Porn" thread, and i was looking at it for shits and giggles, but whoa! Boner!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I spent time in juvie and never told any of my friends about it and am a total shut in now. I might actually be better off because of it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Nimb00da's thread about the snowmen was loving funny. I clicked his profile and think he is kinda cute and I'd love to sleep with him. I am a male.

I want to wail on the lamer who reported him to the cops with an aluminium bat, doing that to people who are providing our entertainment is pathetic.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've fantisized about loving dogs. Also, I come a LOT, I'm talking 6 to 7 shots of the stuff. It's gross, when I masturbate I have to do it in the bathroom because it just goes EVERYWHERE. It's like loving silly string. Another thing, I have a bigger than average dick(a little over 7") but I'm still afraid to..well..use it. I think I'm bad at sex, I will always think the girl is lying if she says I wasn't though. This is preventing me from seeking a relationship.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm only nice to a certain online friend because he sends me cool poo poo at Christmas, I really think he's an annoying douchebag that needs to grow up and get a loving life.

I feel really bad about this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 13, I did a lot of making out with an 11 year old. This lasted for about a year, and I called her my girlfriend. As you might expect, it eventually imploded. However, we've managed to remain good friends.

I also jack it to incest erotic stories.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

After a reading a fair amount of these confessions, I felt compelled to write one of my own. I must choose my words carefully however, because this is not something I’ve ever had to explain before. Up till now it has just been something that has always been.
Let me explain myself a bit first; I hope to give you some perspective on this. I am your typical citizen: in no way spectacular, not wealthy, and not overly-ambitious. I am, like most people, just trying to make their way through the world. Just like you I’ve got to make ends meet, pay the bills, go to the store...you get the idea. That’s where the similarities end. Beyond the day to day needs that all people must see to, you and I are not at all alike. Problems that you have do not trouble me; the things that worry you do not worry me. As condescending as that sounds I do not mean it as an insult you at all.
Ever since I was a youth I have been exceptionally talented. Art, literature, science, and mathematics were among the subjects that began to reveal themselves to me at that impressionable time. My young mind drank of all this knowledge and wanted more. It was never a matter of being the “best”, but it was something I simply felt compelled to do. As I reflected on it years later, it occurred to me that I can do anything. No subject is beyond reach and no goal is beyond conquering as long as one has sufficient will to see it through.
One time in my young life I saw something so remarkably evil that it scarred me forever. In retrospect I wonder about what might have been had things been different, if my life had not been interrupted in such a way. This one event was a kind of wake up call as to what the nature of the world was. I am sorry that I can’t go into further detail about it here, but suffice it to say that it was enough to haunt me. Even now the one thing that continues to impress me over and over, and that is man’s cruelty towards another man. You know what I mean, every time you watch the news and see people you don’t know suffering and dying, you may feel it too. A righteous anger wells up inside you, and wants you to do something about it. This anger is what drives me.
Just to type out those words makes me feel incrementally better. Now that you know, you may say that I have been blessed with talent or you may pity me for being so abnormal. All I know is that I must do something. Of course no one can ever know what I am actually capable of, I fear for the attention it would draw to me. In foresight, years ago I began to piece together the personality that would be my façade, or my protection, as it were. Over the years I’ve become quite good at it. In school, grades were only good enough to get by. At work I do my job well, but not too well. Socially…well, again you get the idea. I suppose I should thank Machievelli for the idea. It works well.
I don’t fight for the glory of any religion, country, race, organization, or myself. Hell, if I am successful you’ll never know I was there. I simply fight against hate. Because even as wicked as a man can be, with a nudge or suggestion, a poke in the right direction at the right time…that evil can be turned into a great kindness.
Now on to my confession: To all those who would hurt another person or animal, the ones who would prey on children and the weak, and to the budding killers - you are not safe.
Well, they kind of actually are, unless they tell you, this is anonymous.

Edit: I'm fixing it anyway, even though everyone can clealy see how stupid I am, where I'm quoted beneath this post.

Pimpsolo fucked around with this message at Aug 23, 2005 around 22:13

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

ForeverGrey came out of the closet to say:


I may well be wrong but that sounds exactly like the Punisher backstory to me.

And I live in Tampa, Fl

I didn't mean we''''''''''''''''ll by the way, God drat I'm tired.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

First, i am a very violent person, not int hat i want to hurt people, but i always want to fight. not like beating up those little bastards in my parking spot, but on a lvl playing field, where i succeed or fail based on my will and prowess.

Oddly enough, my interest in women is partially skewed by this. i like women not so much for sex, but because i feel like i need something to protect. i hope to someday find that right person, but i know that what i'd secretly wish some1 would do something bad to them, so my wrath and prowess would be given purpose. I feel like a misplaced soul, born centuries too late.

Also, i recently had an arguement with my stepfather in which he called me poo poo and asked me to fight. I didnt care that he called me a worthless pile of poo poo, but it really pissed me off that when i said i'd fight him he chickened out and just walked away. He's tormented me and ruined my life for many years, and i'd love to show his loudmouthed redneck buffoon rear end that my aikido doesnt care how big he is.

really hope this gets posted, despite being very long

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have not told this to anyone, because honestly people would be upset with me over it.

I am a masturbating fiend. I mean FIEND. I have whacked my pud; at my computer, in my shower (And I have a roommate and friends have used said shower), In the same room while friends were sleeping not 5 feet away, In friends showers, in both of my parents showers, in abandoned buildings, in buildings getting renovated, in the public restrooms at random places (Mcdonald's, Gas stations, etc), in the restroom at work, other places where I work, in my car while driving, while friends are visiting, In my bed.

I also have whacked off to hentai.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

play both sides when my friends have arguments as an attempt to quell them. I've recently gotten into poo poo for doing this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I got head from my best friend's girlfriend. My best friend is a goon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I gave my best friend head. My best friend is a goon.

The above quote has NOTHING to do with me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've cried listening to emo-ish bands like Death Cab for Cutie.

I had drunken relations with a girl in front of my intoxicated friends who have since relentlessly jeered me for it. I pretend to regret it, but I don't.

I'm a Catholic turned atheist and can't tell my religious parents, so I have to pretend.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was born with only one testicle, but last time I measured (about 15 or 16) I had a 7-inch dick. What the gently caress.
Average.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Well, SA is a great bunch of forums and I love it, but
there are a couple of blemishes. GBS is the worst
forum besides ADTRW. It is interesting that a
subforum like A/T has become far more entertaining
that GBS ever was. Good, funny threads are
continually ruined by unfunny poo poo from useless
posters. Informative threads are ruined by unfunny
poo poo from usless posters. War threads are ruined by
pussified poo poo from useless posters. See a pattern?

ADTRW is beyond lame. The fact that anyone over 6 and
with an IQ over 40 can enjoy anime is news to me and
the fact that SA has to have that forum so that those
faggots don't post their crap in the other forums is
sad. I usually ignore anyone with an anime avatar.

FYAD is incredibly funny most of the time and should
be made public rather than the bland and stale comedy
of GBS. It is amazing how utterly terrible and
obvious it is when someone from GBS makes some lovely
thread/post in FYAD like "HOMICIDE SUCKS! Then i
killed a few more guys and went to jail after my fifth
or so killing."
WOW ZANY thanks Captain enjoyable human being. It pisses me off to
see funny things ruined by ugly, pale nerds (see the
Gooncon pictures for proof) with awful senses of
humor.

Apart from that SA is awesome.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I don't really know where to start from but here we
go:

4 Years ago I joined a church to get a girl. Now when
I first started going to this church it was purely to
get this girl however something clicked and I honestly
started believing in God.

Inbetween this time the girl and I lost our virginity
to eachother and we started smoking weed.

Well one day I decided what I was doing was wrong so I
told her that I wanted to do things right and by the
book, we could wait to have sex until after we were
married and we should stop doing drugs.

She agreed. Then two days later, she accused me of
not loving her; but God I loved her so much. And she
gave me a choice, her or God. I couldn't believe what
she was doing and I chose God. Ever since then I
thought I made the right decision, but recently I am
starting to regret the decision I made.

After we broke up she started doing coke and her life
really went into a downward spiral, to this day I
still blame myself for what she went through.

Thats not all folks. After we broke up, she left the
church and I stayed, because well.. I believed. Now I
have all these church friends, but realistically I
long to go out and do drugs and have sex again.

Even though I desire these things I have an intense
fear of disapointment so I feel like I am trapped by
my own lie from 4 years ago.

And now I have reached a stage in my life where I am
really just very bored with everything. Which is
funny because I used to coin myself "Young and
Successful", and I really was.

Last year I wrote up 400,000 dollars worth of sales,
which is pretty drat good, and I got promoted for it,
this year I have written up maybe 30,000 dollars.
Mostly because I just don't care anymore.

I link all of this back to that one lie I told to get
a girl. gently caress Girls.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a very attractive girl with a great social life. I joined the
forums because I found them interesting and I couldn't read GBS
without an account for a while. I've found it less and less
interesting and I think most goons are fat, pathetic losers. The
only thing I really like is fyad because I have the same sense of
humor as them. I'll try to post there eventually. I don't know
enough about Lowtax to have an opinion on him, but I think all of
the rear end kissers coming to his defense in the confession thread are
hilarious.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Everything thinks I'm a very cofindent person, most of the time even I think I am a very confident person. I tell people all the time that I don't care what they think. It's a lie. All I want is for people to like me.

On a similar note I talk about other people all the time and preface it with "I wouildn't say anything behind someone's back that I wouldn't say to their face". This is also a lie. I'll *admit* to saying if I"m ever confronted, but half of the things I would say I would be mortified to have to step up to. (See above )
I would be insecure too, if inanimate objects had opinions about my level of confidence.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Guess what?!?

I am perfectly happy with my life right now. I love
myself, where my life is going, I love my friends and
family, and there isn't a single person in this world
I hate. Not one. The last time I was ever angry at
anything, much less anyone, was early on in high
school. Then I made it stop because I didn't want to
be angry at anything anymore.

I still get frustrated, annoyed, or upset from time to
time at things, but that's different from anger. One
of the few things that really does annoy me though are
people who are wallowing in their own depression or
self-pity or whatever and try to bring everyone else
down, and people that try to bring me down because
they think my life is so peachy right now and I could
never understand true pain or whatever bullshit they
try to fling at me.

Well, you know what fuckers? My life isn't perfect,
there's tons of poo poo for me to deal with, but the
reason I'm so happy is because that's what I chose to
be. The good things I've got going are things I set
in motion. I love challenges, grief, strife, sadness,
and all of those things. It makes me feel alive, it's
beautiful, and that makes me truly happy. Everyone
could do it to, but no one I talk to ever realizes
that.


...so, if you're wallowing in your own self pity,
think life completely sucks, and worse yet you hate me
for being a happy person who's got it together even
when I don't have it together, go gently caress yourself! Eat
poo poo and go cry about it you stupid gently caress of an
rear end in a top hat! I don't hate you, but gently caress you and your
poo poo! Have a nice day!

Man, that felt good.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I feel lame because I don't know what "spit roasting" is.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was nine I had sex with a seven year old. No actual penetration
or anything, but we rubbed stuff around. It was pretty loving weird,
now that I think about it. She's in the coast guard now.
Are you Bill Clinton, IN REVERSE?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was a terrible teenager. When I was about 13, I faked having scoliosis and arthritis to get attention. Once I was snooping around in my mother's dresser drawers and found a vibrator, which I secretly used for years. I used to ditch school and stay in bed all day reading romance novels and masturbating, trying to see how many times I could make myself come. I let our Lhasa Apso go down on me several times and they were the best orgasms of my life.

I still get turned on by animated porn and the only fantasies I ever have are about getting hosed in high school: in the locker room, underneath the bleachers, in the classroom by a hot science teacher. When I read the Smoking Gun transcripts of those teachers that were loving their students, I got so hot that I had to masturbate in the stall at work.

I've thought about trying to find teenaged boys who would be interested in getting "educated" by an older woman, but haven't done anything about it. I'm in my 30's.

I have a boyfriend, but I know I'm an attention whore slut that would rather get validation from men than try to work towards having a healthy, adult relationship. It's only a matter of time before I gently caress this one up too.

I've broken the hearts of at least 4 guys and still gently caress with them to this day by calling them every few months to tell them I miss them.

I have an amazing job and get paid a shitload of money, but I only work about 2 hours each day. The rest of the time is spent loving around on the internet. I get all my work done, there's just not much to do. I feel bad about surfing so much but can't bring myself to stop.

I had a torrid relationship with a co-worker in another department. When we broke up, I told everyone in my department about his predilection for assplay and that he couldn't get aroused by normal sex.

I deeply, truly hate myself.
Truly, madly, deeply do. I want to stand with you on a mountain.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm female. My first orgasm was during my 5th grade physical. My
mom and younger sister were in the room when the doctor put his
hand down my panties. I soon discovered that laying under the bath
faucet would give me the same feeling, so I did that before every
shower.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm almost 20 and i've never had a job. I stayed in my college
town over the summer to "work," but after applying to a few places
and not getting hired anywhere, I gave up. I worry about if I'll
ever get a job. My parents provide me with money, but when my bank
account gets low, I read craigslist and consider replying to some
of the sugar daddy ads. I haven't yet and don't think I will, but
one of my friends dates old rich guys all the time and it seems to
work well for her.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I actually typed this up, but posted them myself [which I deleted when
I realized my folly]. While retyping these out really doesn't have the
same emphasis, I hope I can sleep soundly tonight admitting this
[after I did already....].

First, I have no idea why I'm in college. I'm here, sure, but I have
no idea why I'm here.

I do everything I can to be cool. This has included joining the
something awful forums, not admitting that I like some pop music, and
posing a persona of an 'rear end in a top hat', when in reality I feel bad whenever
I make an rear end in a top hat comment.

When I was 11-12, I was playing with my dog when he went to lick me,
and I in turn grabbed his tongue. I held it for a moment and then let
it go. I don't know why I did this, but everytime I think about it, I
feel guilt and a smile.

I pretend to hate everyone, but in reality I just hate the choices
I've made and myself.

I actively beleive I have a chronic illness for sympathy. Right now
it's Parkinson's.

When I was about 10, I was walking home from school and just decided
to kick and rip off the yellow flower parts from a some tulips on the
side of a woman's house. I told myself they were fake, but I knew they
weren't. They never grew flowers there again either.

I hate my father because no matter what I do in my life, He will
always eclipse me. Even at my own 'going away' party, he stole all the
attention and made it more about himself, at my going away party.
Haha!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I bought a permabanned user an account for his birthday. He's
actually started a few threads since then that have been well-received
and has caused no trouble, so I'm glad I did it.

He's a freaky-weird guy, though.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father for I will sin.

I, like many others on this site masterbate quite a
bit. I guess theres no harm in that but lately I have
been getting the sex more than in the past. There have
been times when being initmate with a woman I have had
problems with getting to climax. I dont have a problem
with pleasing women, its just with myself. I usually
have a deathgrip on my rod when yanking it and the
looseness of a woman just doesnt cut it. I've tried
cutting back on the wanking but everytime I get with a
chick I cum (lol) up short. There have been many times
while being initmate with a woman that I have had to
fake an orgasm. For a guy this becomes a hard thing to
do, because women almost have sixth sense when it
comes to these things. Im a little baffled as to what
the solution is, because I dont want to give up either
activities (obviously).

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am trying to get pregnant by my boyfriend behind is back. I secretly don't take my birth control and "forget" to ask him to put on a condom. I am so bored with my life. I hate my jobs but I need to work. I don't want to find another one because I'm too lazy. I just want to sit at home and clean all day. I think that if I got pregnant, I would have a reason to stay at home. Sure kids are lots of work but I won't have to deal with stupid assholes all day, just my stupid rear end in a top hat kid. I think I may have succeeded but I can't find my drat pregnancy tests and I have no money to go buy another one.

I hate my boyfriend. I stay with him because he has a car that I can use, and he has more money than me so he buys me food and video games and internet. He's a sweetheart sometimes, and he's kinda cute. He's great in bed too. But I really really hate him otherwise. He's loving annoying and does nothing but talk about video games and D&D and poo poo like that. Sometimes I wanna loving throw him down the stairs. I purposely don't phone him just to piss him off. I take his car to go out at night and don't come home until 5am. I cheated on him because I was mad at him. I steal his money to buy food. Almost everything I tell him is a lie. But I cannot bring myself to break up with him, and I think if he dumped me, I would kill myself.

I hate all my friends. They're all scenester fuckheads who listen to lovely music like Death From Above 1979 and The Used and My Chemical Romance. They're the kind of people who think the guy who directed The Forbidden Zone is a god amongst men. I think that movie was hosed up and I would have rather slept or cleaned the bathroom.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

NMR came out of the closet to say:
P.s. Pimpsolo why is Bryan Adams so angry/tired in your avatar?
The moment I found the picture I recognized it as being perfectly representative of what my emotions would look like in human form. Consiquently, that's an "after" picture of a meth addict who sold krank out of a stroller with an actual, live baby in it. He looks much less cool in his other photos, I try to forget them.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

Mayor Wilkins came out of the closet to say:


Well, don't sell yourself short. I think that if they're yankin' it to your picture, and maybe moaning out your name during the throes of their orgasm, it's pretty safe to say that they have a crush on you. Congrats! Now good luck trying to get the image of goons masturbating to your picture out of your mind.
Confession: I've always secretly hoped someone, anywhere masturbated to a picture of mine. Goons, even male ones would be fine. I also wonder, almost every time I jack one off what the woman would think of me if she knew, and if she took that into account when she signed up for her Sears Catalogue modeling gig.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

cams came out of the closet to say:
I'll do it if you tell me who wrote the confession about having a crush on me
someone@anonemailer.com

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have no morals. I do anything I can get away with as long as I
don't think I will get caught. I steal anything I can, and I do
things just to make people unhappy. I am friends with a celebrity who
I won't name, and I stole a whole lot of things he had won or had been
given to him because I knew he would never notice them missing. I
also stole some guy's cell phone at a convention I went to and called
his dad and told him about it, then I threw it in a fountain.
I have disgusting fetishes, I fantisize all the time about girls and
guys forcing me to drink their piss and lick their genitals.
Whenever my girlfriend gives me a blowjob, I imagine it's my step
sister. Whenever I go down on my girlfriend, I imagine that it is an
ugly girl forcing me to do it. I would cheat on my girlfriend if I
found another cute girl in a second, if I knew she wouldn't find out
about it. I lie to my girlfriend and tell her that I am christian so
she will like me. I have drank my own piss on several occasions, I
also have licked the genitalia of my (female) dog. The more
disgusting porn is, the hotter it makes me.
I'm no big city psychologist or anything but I'm pretty sure that's the accepted medical definition of psychopathy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Thanks for this thread.

I have stolen, lied, watched porn and masturbated to it,
I have been unjustifiably angry with people who love me, sworn too much.
I've been cruel to my children (nothing major) but its easy to abuse your position as a parent.
gently caress you man, I'm trying to have thread where some dignity is left to humanity, but you, you're a sick, unforgivable gently caress. gently caress you.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Somebody confessed this:
"There's a goon who shares the same secret I do, and I
think she's one of the most beautiful things I've ever
seen.

"But she's dating someone who, while I know she loves
this person very much, I really don't think is very
good for her. Sometimes I think about stealing her
away, and sometimes I just wish I could be a good,
supportive friend for her and help her figure out what
she'll be happiest with, whatever that ends up being.

"And the only reason I feel comfortable risking her
recognising who this is is because we're so lousy at
keeping in touch with each other I sometimes think
we're never gonna end up knowing each other at all
anyway."

If you are who I think you are, and I am who you were
talking about, just know that I think I'm in love with
you, too. And I'm sorry I can't keep in touch with
you, I try. I miss talking to you all the time like we
used to. I don't know what to do... I feel bad because
I think I've hurt you, but I can't hurt him, either.
Someday I will come and see you, but not until I know
for sure what to do. And until that day comes, I hope
you'll wait for me, but if you don't I understand.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Since I've found reading these to be alternately hilarious and
depressing I shall oblige.

I lied to an emotionally needy girl who was my first girlfriend for
sex. Did the whole I love you, etc etc. Then broke up with her in an
awful way. I feel bad about it.

I was attracted to a girl named Kim who was a huge friend of one of my
fraternity brothers. Had a huge crush on her, wanted to ask her out
and all that but she had a boyfriend. She broke up with him and came
out on the day before she was going to graduate. I ended up walking
her home. On the way she mentioned that she was friends with the
brother because he would never make a move on her. When we got back to
her place, she was kissing my neck and I did nothing. My big chance
and I threw it all away. I will never see her again, and I will never
get that chance back. I have punched myself in the face for this
repeatedly. It remains one of my great fuckups in life.

When one of my fraternity brothers screwed me out of his half of the
electric bill and threw out my bed, I snuck into his apartment, Pissed
in every liquid he had in the fridge, his BBQ sauce and on every inch
of his bathroom I could. I'm likely going to do something horrible to
his beloved car soon.

I always think the worst is going to happen. If a car is on the other
side of the road, I think he's going to hit me. If I'm speeding, I
think I'm going to get caught. I also wonder if I would be mourned if
I die.

I also hate anyone with a girlfriend which I know is petty and I know
is stupid. Yet I still do it.

Secretly, I think I embarass myself, I dunno.

I think I'm done now. This is the third time I've typed that sentance.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I won a city-wide math tournament (in one of the biggest cities in the US) because I cheated off of someone else's paper. She finished second.
So, well I mean if you knew something she didn't which you must have on a problem that you didn't copy off her, then this entire thing is justifiable in my world.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

1) I wrote some erotic furry fanfic when I was 14 years old.
2) I had fantasies about my best friend's mother. I stayed at my
friend's house one night and woke up in the morning to hear her being
pounded by his stepdad. I was very turned on. However my feelings of
sexual desire came to an end when I saw her armpit hair.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Every time a furry thread comes up where they complain about some brand
new Beanie Baby coming out that looks too much like a furry or some
child's book that just so happens to have anthropomorphic characters in
it, I get really loving angry and want to rant for pages about how
retarded these people are with their inane attempt to fit in to a circle
of people who believe that anything furry is old meme. I want to reach
through the computer screen and strangle everyone who keeps saying that
all furries ever do is gently caress in fursuits and jerk off to skyscraper-sized
anatomically-correct four-legged dogs loving 'taurish hermaphrodites. I
want to post a reply, but know it will just turn into a clusterfuck of
replies telling me that I'm a dog-fucker, IMs asking me what my
fursuit's like, or just a general ban for being a humongous cockholster.

And yet everyone looks to me as one of the "respected" furries because I
don't take this fandom seriously, and equally mock it when ridiculous
things happen. Even so, the perpetual "FURRIES ARE GROCE AND THEY'RE
ZOOPHILES LOL!" meme angers me to no end every time it pops up.

Seriously you faggots, stop trying to catch the bus when it's left
months ago. Shut the gently caress up about what you don't know poo poo about.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have sinned.

One time a barn swallow made it's way inside my house. Instead of helping it get out, I led it into my room and scared it so bad it was flying aroudn all over my head. Eventually it was so exhausted that all it could do was sit on the moulding around my door. I then shot darts at it with my blowgun, getting closer and closer before pinning it to the wall by the wing.

I finished it off with a few shots to the chest.

That's the only kill I've ever felt bad about. He was a pretty cool guy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I told Paypal about Fapomatic hosting porn thus loving up their Paypal account.

And the money that was being collected by Astro3x to buy the Tiffany Teen video, Paypal locked that poo poo because I reported it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm an 18 year old guy and I've never kissed a girl, had sex, or even been romantically involved with anyone in any way. I'd say I'm about twenty pounds overweight but not necessarily unattractive. A girl I've known for a few years had shown interest in me, but I'm completely oblivous to picking up on signals. I'd really love to have sex with her, but I'm self-conscious about my appearance and penis size. My dick is very small when flaccid, I can cover it pretty much entirely with one hand. This really sucks because I'm 6 feet tall with a 13 shoe size, so I think any girl would be severely disappointed when they discover that someone that is my size only has a dick that's 5 inches long and about 5 inches around. I don't really know how big of an issue penis size really is, but I'm scared of sexual experiences because of it. This was thearpy.

Wait! I just noticed this after I posted this confession... your penis is 5 inches thick, and long, 5x5, you have a massively wide, but short, cubed, penis? After reading this thread, I'm sure there's a fetish for it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am madly in love with the Gwen Stefani song 'Hollaback Girl.' It's
beaten 'Ramble On' as the most-played song on my iPod. I am trying to
write it as sheet music for my pep band to play at basketball games.

Sometimes, when I'm about to take a shower, a song will come on the
radio (last time it was 'Shot in the Dark') that will make me stop and
rock out in the bathroom. I'll be playing air guitar and jumping
around and headbanging and I wonder what the other residents of the
house think I'm doing, but I don't care.

I check away messages compulsively. Sometimes, I'll add people to my
Buddy List just so I can read their away messages.

I don't have a job. I tried really hard for a month, but gave up.
Ugh. Just when I thought I was starting to get desensitized.

Pimpsolo fucked around with this message at Aug 24, 2005 around 00:18

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I pretend to be a guy online sometimes so I can gently caress with other chicks head's. I get their nudes and any dirt I can and make it all public. I hate my own kind. I find women to be intolerably manipulative and decietful.

I pretend to be a guy online sometimes so I can gently caress with other chicks head's.
I find women to be intolerably manipulative and decietful.

I'm a chick and I manipulate other chicks so I can be decetful.



I guess women are manipulative and decietful.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think you missed my last one about not respecting fat people. Oops

Here's another:

I have a folder of pictures on my computer called "Guys I've hosed". When
I'm feeling really lovely about myself, I look through it and gloat about
all the hot guys I've managed to bang. Unfortunately, it usually makes
me feel worse because it reminds me of how many hot guys who have hosed me
and then rejected me. Still, I regularly have urges to post these pictures
somewhere public so I can brag about the caliber of guys who've put their
dicks in me. I eagerly use any excuse to show them to my friends without
seeming like a total rear end in a top hat. They probably see right through me, but are
kind enough not to call me out on it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I thought that some of the adult Powerpuff Girls porn in that cartoon porn thread was hot, although I didn't masturbate to anything in that thread.

I own six Celine Dion albums.

I skipped college today to read this thread. It was the second day of class.
I bet I know more Celine lyrics than you, I'm a 19 year old (really, really I mean 5 inch diameter really. Pi that poo poo.)male by the way.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Since we're all admitting to e-crushes I have to admit I would do No-One a whole lot.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I cried over the Confessions thread.
Tears of joy? Or that you can relate to the pedophiles?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm married to an awesome, beautiful, and fun girl. She embodies everything that
a guy would likely desire and pretty much everyone that's ever met her can't
figure out how I landed such a wonderful femme. Seriously, she's model hot and
super cool.

I'm you're typical chubby white computer guy.

I have a number of good friends who are female. Like, roughly 10. All of them
are at least 7's on the scale `o hotness.

I've slept with nearly all of them. Those I haven't actually inserted my penis
into have at least made out with me on a few occasions. All this while being
married.

I don't know why I do this poo poo, and I'd pick my wife over any one of these girls
any day. It's amazing what having a hot wife will do for your game - chicks just
automatically assume you're the poo poo.

It's going to come crashing down around me at some point and I will realize that
I'm a total rear end in a top hat for loving with the best thing that's ever happened to me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i once hosed a girl in the shallow water in front of the Hilton in
Waikiki. there were people all around swimming and walking, and on the
beach. some old guy walked by and smiled at me like he wanted to jump
in. it was packed as it usually is. she was on her period but i think
there are shark nets. she had a pretty loose stinkyhole. i'd like to see how
many other people have hosed in that same area

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I mostly lurk on the forums (although I do own an account), but I just had to contribute to this thread.

I've done a lot of horible stuff, but the worst thing I've done was barge into a bathroom where a friend's wife was inserting a tampon. She asked "What do you want?" and I said, "This"! and I reipped it out, laughing and screaming. I was mentally unstable at the time, and I was actually semi-famous because of my illness.
You're not ill yet by my standards. Now depending on what you did with the tampon later could send you into ill territory.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Someone admitted this:
"There's a goon who shares the same secret I do, and I
think she's one of the most beautiful things I've ever
seen.

"But she's dating someone who, while I know she loves
this person very much, I really don't think is very
good for her. Sometimes I think about stealing her
away, and sometimes I just wish I could be a good,
supportive friend for her and help her figure out what
she'll be happiest with, whatever that ends up being.

"And the only reason I feel comfortable risking her
recognising who this is is because we're so lousy at
keeping in touch with each other I sometimes think
we're never gonna end up knowing each other at all
anyway."

I already qouted this saying that I was sorry, and
whatnot (I hope you post it), but I just thought of a
way he could find out if it was me he was referring
to:

If you are who I think you are, you'll remember the
castles we looked at.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I ran my own porn site for a year after I turned 18. I
loved the attention and the extra money it provided
me. I only stopped because my parents found out. I
still love to flirt online with older men. Sometimes
they still send me money. I am the horniest person I
know of, even though my boyfriend would never know. I
get more out of flirting with people I will never have
to make a commiment to then getting dirty with him.

I'm afraid I might have HIV because a guy I dated last
year slept with a ton of people behind my back. But
I'm to scared to get tested.

I have herpes, but so do a lot of people. Something
like 1 out of ever 10 adults.
Woah, was the porn site pictures of you? That's awesome! This is the first time in this thread I'm really curious for pix plz.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

thanks for the awesome thread, during the course of it I think I have
come to love Mayor Wilkins (in a completely platonic way, I'm male) as
he has proven himself to be a very nice guy and certainly not the
rear end in a top hat some folks have been making him out to be. Bless you, Mayor.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

For the first 18 months of a relationship, I was consistently awful to my
girlfriend, I didn't realise I was doing it at the time, but I was slowly
but surely degrading her. You would never have guessed it, and I can't
really think of any examples of it, I just wasn't very nice. Then we broke
up because things were so bad. We were broken up for a week when we met up
and decided to go out for a drink to see if we could patch things up, the
drink went fine and we decided to give it another go, but we just needed
more time apart. I honestly meant it, I wanted to get back with her. That
very night I went to my best friend's house and got drunk and slept with her
(she was seeing a much older guy but they weren't 'official'). I was so
drunk I could hardly get it up but we still hosed all night with no
protection.

The next day I rang my girlfriend and told her about it. I don't know why,
maybe a part of me wanted to hurt her. In my head, I told myself I was doing
the right thing. I told her without consulting with the other girl, who was
OK with it. Until I got back with my girlfriend. This has ruined my
relationship with my best friend. I haven't spoken to her in 18 months. I
tell myself (and my girlfriend) that she's a bit crazy and superficial
anyway and I don't miss her. But every now and then I need someone to speak
to who isn't my girlfriend and I end up in tears. She'll never know how much
I miss her. I've told her I miss her but it all seems so false. I broke a
golden rule. I used her, and there's no going back. We've tried but we'll
never be friends again.

One night we had a real bond (thanks to copious amounts of drugs) and she
told me she'd inadvertantly got pregnant by that older guy and had a
miscarriage.

I know it was because of me but I can't bring myself to ask. I'd rather not
know.

I'm still with the original girlfriend, since The Incident our relationship
has pretty much gone from strength to strength and I honestly see me
spending the rest of my life with her. She's the best thing that's ever
happened to me but I don't deserve her. Her mum died of cancer and I could
never talk to her about it. She said she didn't want to talk about it, but
looking back, she wantedto pour her heart out and she couldn't.

I didn't even go to the funeral. And for that I'll never forgive myself. I
hope her mum still approves.

Most nights I wake up in the middle of the night and when she's sleeping I
look over at her and think that she's wasting her life with me, I can't give
her what she wants and she needs to move on. But I can't live my life
without her. I've wronged her and I'll spend the rest of my life making it
up to her but I know I'll never come close to repairing the damage I may
have done.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Okay, I should have explained the tournament's format. The first round had us taking a test, like a regular test at school. I cheated off of a girl's answers. (There was also a team tournament, and we were on the same team. But that's not relevant to this.)

The second round had the top ten finishers lined up in a row. The 10th place finisher would face the 9th place finisher in a series of face-offs, like in Jeopardy. If the lower-ranked player won, he or she would take the place of the higher-ranked player.

Due to my cheating off of my teammate, I finised second and she finished first. Although I beat her fair and square in the face-off, I would never have been able to do so if I hadn't cheated in the first round. To make it clear that she was a lot better than me, in the state tournament, where I didn't cheat, she finished 6th and I finished 36th.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

ive had a dream about luckysevens on a number of occasions. i saw his
post on the work out thread and he is hot, but im too scared to
e-contact him because its weird.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned:

When I was a child, my next door neighbor and my sister and I all
showed each other our genitals in my neighbor's back yard.

I broke into my school at night and read all the college
recommendations for me and my friends. My best friend almost told on
me.

I smell that same best friend's underwear when I'm at his house.

I'm gay, but on WDMA I would pick a straight member I knew of and
masturbate to the porn that person had said thank you for.

When I was in high school, I regularly tried to look at other boys'
penises when we were all changing for gym.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My boyfriend Tony had an incredibly small dick. The second time we were
having sex I was laying there, trying to force myself to enjoy it while at
the same time thinking to myself that this was pointless.

I was lying there, completely detached, without enjoyment, watching him lay
on top of me making humping noises which was rather strange. I started to
cry. He immediately jumped up and asked what was wrong. I didn’t know what
to say and I stammered, “Uhh….I was abused as a child.”

It seemed less cruel than telling him that he was hung like an infant.

He was a total rear end. He’d make blunt and crude comments about things we did
sexually in front of other people. I asked him not to but he continued. One
night after he made a particularly rude comment I decided to get up and
leave and call it a night. He came out to the parking lot looking completely
confused. I had to explain to him why I was pissed and why I left. He still
didn’t get it.

Months after we broke up his little secret festered inside of me. I finally
said to one of my friends, “Hey. Do you remember Tony? Well he had a really
small dick.” She started to make hand gestures trying to figure out how
small he was and I said, “Stick out your thumb. That’s him, erect.” She
laughed.

Tony ended up having a class with my new boyfriend some months down the
line. When I came up in conversation he said that I was crazy.

I remembered reading some thread awhile back where people listed signs that
your girlfriend is crazy or something like that. A few people wrote, “She
cries during sex.” And I thought of Tony and I laughed.
I like how this thread kind of proved that size seems to matter to a degree. I would also like to add, it has not made me self conscience but rather given me hope.



Because I have a massiv

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think Livestock is the laziest, worst administrator SA has ever had. I never call him out because he's such a "nice guy" and everyone thinks his poo poo doesn't stink, but at Gooncon 2004 he had sex with TWO different female goons who BOTH had boyfriends. He basically got into their pants by lying about being suicidal. He's a sleazy piece of poo poo and hardly anyone knows it, but now you all do.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

DannyManic is a pretty popular guy on the forums, known for his funny
threads and frontpage contributions. But in reality he is a shady
character with no morals and no respect for anybody, least of all his
fellow goons. At Gooncon 2K4, he repeatedly tried to steal wallets from
other goons, usually doing a terrible job and then brushing it off as
"playful groping." I caught him trying to steal my wallet at one point,
and when I confronted him to give it back, he started talking fast and
broke into a sweat. Eventually he threw the wallet at me and ran off.
I heard stories from others that he had been doing a lot of drugs and
didn't have money to get home. I think he's a real scummy character and
people should be careful around him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a female and incredibly ticklish. Light tickling is slightly arousing but intense tickling gets me off.

I found out from an early age and have told people I hate being tickled out of fear of a relative tickling me and me having an orgasm.

I have never told anyone about this. I'm afraid people think I was a freak.

Also, I don't understand how people dislike Mayor Wilkins. He seems very sweet and nice. He can tickle me anytime.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i lost the most amazing friend and lover i fear i will ever have
because i was too scared to let her live her life the way she wanted.
Ever since breaking up with her i turned into exactly the same person
as she is was and i have broken up with all my girlfriends because i
cant stand them trying to control anything with me.
it seems she changed me into the perfect person for her after it was
too late to matter.

also me and a mate sniffed our other mates girlfriends undies and
stuck them on our heads and took photos. it was good fun

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i'm constantly considering physical/chemical castration because I
can't stand sexuality

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I grew up thinking I would never drink or smoke because my grandfather
was a smoker/drinker and died of liver/lung cancer. I have only had
one alcoholic beverage and one hit on a marihuana cigarette, but I
feel like I'm living with Mr. Hyde inside of me. I know if I had more
than one experience a year, I would have no problem dropping out of
classes and selling drugs and all of that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This is the girl from the love triangle again.

While I'm glad my story has struck a chord with all of
you, Mayor Wilkins is right. I do love my boyfriend.
Although, he does know that the other guy exists, but
not how we feel about each other. I can't say too much
because my boyfriend is a goon, too. I feel like I've
betrayed him, and I hate it. But at the same time, I
like the idea of being with the other guy. I don't
know what to do and it makes me want to scream.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was on a school trip to Virginia with about 10 other guys in
maybe 10th grade, I was in the passenger seat on the 8-hour ride home.
I got a really bad erection, so I put a pillow over my lap and jerked
off into a wad of tissues, which I then put in my cargo pants pocket
so no one would know. And they didn't.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My bedroom window is right across the driveway from next door's
bathroom. Two men live there, and take showers at regular times.
They don't own shades. I turn off the lights when they do and
masturbate in my room. One of them is sort of fat.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

when i was six or seven i went to a huge family reunion (i'd say about
500 people from all over america)

a lot of them were sleeping in my grandmothers house, and the boys
slept in the attic

i slept next to two late teens/early twenties cousins and watched them
change enthralled

this was the first time i remember having homo feelings

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 20 years old and have never been in a relationship of any kind(it
goes without saying that I'm a virgin). I'm afraid that when I
finally grow a pair and find the right woman, I won't know how to
approach the relationship and it will crash and burn spectacularly
with me shuffling away, learning nothing, and never attempting a
relationship again.

You know how people sometimes joke about dying alone?

That's me, but serious. I'm afraid that I will die alone.

At this point, I find myself not as much concerned with getting laid
as I am concerned with just being with somebody; having a
companionship. I just want somebody who I can make happy and hold and
spend time with and all that lovey crap that we all scoff at on the
outside but secretly want. I feel so lonely and incomplete and just
know that this is what's missing from my life.

But I'm afraid to initiate anything or take any risks or even hold a
simple conversation because I'm afraid of failure and terrified of
judgement. I know it's ridiculous and that's what is holding me back
from attaining the things that I want and the things I need, but I
cannot help it. It's driving me nuts, and there's nothing I can do
about it.

I always imagined that there was a girl out there just like me,
longing for somebody to just be with, and that they'd magically plop
into my life one day and we'd be happy together, but I'm slowly
begining to realize that this won't be the case, and I'm destined for
a life of solitude.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have masturbated to child porn. I cried myself to sleep afterwards.

Also Yuko Ogura.

This is anonymous, right?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In elementary school, there was a new girl I led the charge against.
I wrote awful stories about her being shot to death and being mentally
retarded. I got everyone except one girl to hate her. I stole her
birthday gift, a fake kiddy PDA, and filled the calendar with things
like "Kill yourself" and "You're a bitch". I filled the contacts list
with "Whore" and "Slut". I also went back several years in the
calendar and wrote "I did it. Love, (Name)" When she found it, she
cried so hard she had to be taken from class. I felt the worst I have
ever felt in the world, and honestly considered killing myself for
months, both for being such an awful person and under the fear that
she would find my guilty conscience's confession and report me.

I also drew and distributed a regular comic book full of students
raping teachers and other childish things. I had an obsession with
genital anatomy from an early age, so the pictures were all rather
good, too.

I also hacked into my older sister's best friend's real PDA and did
the same thing, but I didn't care that time.

Both of their passwords were "password".

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for i have sinned.

- I am like a previous poster, a pedophile but not a child molester.
It started when I was 12 (or 13) and doing really badly. I was going
to psychologists and such, forced to take meds for suicidal thoughts
and other problems, basically insane. It got worse when my cousin
(around 5 or 6 at that time, I cant recall much) were watching TV in
my Grandma's house when I got the bright idea of kissing her. It
eventually ended in dry-humping, and getting caught by my Grandma. It
was kept really quiet in the family, to avoid my Uncle from killing me
outright.

Years later while growing up, that same cousin took an attraction to
me, and the idiot that I was back then...returned the favor. Rarely,
but whenever we met and there was no one around, we would kiss
eachother, and feel eachother all over, then dry-hump. Sure it felt
great at the time...but looking back at it, I cant believe how much I
hosed up. When I hit 17, I stopped fooling around with her till
about, last weekend. Im 20 now, she is 11...and I am very afraid i'll
corrupt her like I was corrupted when I was a kid. After I touch her
body, I stop and think about how she could turn out like me, and
realize it might be too late.

I know how many people would hate me if they knew I was fooling around
with my cousin. She's very smart for her age, like I was about that
age...and she is also stronger than me. I asked this weekend her why
she never tells me to stop, or walks away (or tells) and she says,
"Because it's OK." I left the house quickly, claiming it was late and
I had to go. She hasnt told anyone..and her dad would easily kill me
if he knew. I cant even look her straight in the eye anymore without
wanting to kill myself.

I dont know what to do, im going to be 21 this year as well. My mom
even runs a daycare, and has for about 10 years. I never touched any
of the kids she watched, mainly because they are far too young, and
the only girl I ever liked was my cousin. Im such a sick gently caress, and if
I cannot get this problem under wraps in the next few months, i'll
probally just kill myself. I expect much hate for this post..but it is
the truth.

Anyways, the night is young...and i'll probally post more of my mental
problems later as well.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The E/N, sex, violence, I-manipulated-someone confessions are boring.

I love SA drama. Whether it's current goon crushes, failed romances, hating
on the mods, WDMA drama, IRC drama, it's all entertaining. Every last word.

It isn't even just SA. I love watching drama unfold on every online forum I
have ever read. What I finally learned to do was to quit being part of the
drama, and to just sit back and observe. Fun stuff! I want more!

The one exception is the "confession" from the guy who said he was getting
head from Mrs. Lowtax. That didn't need to be posted, whether because it's
a boring, immature fake or (remotely possible but not likely) a truth best
kept secret. Some things should remain unsaid, anonymous or not.
Anything related to mods is pretty much filtered by me, unless they have clear merit. I've basically been instructed to not post things "bitching about mods" which I agree has made the thread better. That being said, the first two confessions in this post had merit and weren't random bitching about mods.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My mother was one of the ones that EPG made fun of for sending him
angry emails about angel babies, because she has had numerous
miscarriages. When I read the "Your poison womb is making heaven too
loving crowded" line in response to one of the mothers, I cried for
three hours.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I memorize the social security / credit card information of everyone I
know. I don't expect to ever have to abuse that knowledge, but if I
ever fell on really hard times, I think I would strongly consider it.
I can't remember most of my friends phone numbers.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

BDSM does not turn me on but I love the idea of a male slave who would do
all my housework. In return, he might occasionally receive praise or the
privilege of shopping with me for sissy clothes and makeup to dress him up
in. Pay him? No way. gently caress him? Nigga please. Men are useless unless they
are slapped around and made to be useful drones. I may yet put an ad out
for a houseboy whose kink is service and feminization. A clean house, with
all my errands run, is far more satisfying to me than sex.

While BDSM does not turn me on, I love reading BDSM sites because of my
drama fascination and because I enjoy seeing what hosed-up, pathetic
specimens BDSM participants are. Yes, there IS something wrong with you.
Just loving admit it already. I can't believe I have never seen
bondage.com, collarme.com, alt.com, bdsm-online.com, etc. as part of the
Weekend Web. Bondage.com is home of one of the single most hosed-up people
I've ever seen online. I can't believe she's not institutionalized,
although some of the confessions in this thread sounded not too different
from the person I'm talking about. There is much unintentional humor on the
kink sites.

My contempt and amusement toward BDSM came about while reading and learning
more about it to open my mind and consider new experiences. I guess it
opened my mind, but not in the way I expected.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was raped when I was 11 years old. I am currently 19 and have never
told a soul in real life. Certain people online know, and I didn't
even talk to them long before I told them. I don't know what's wrong
with me, I want people to know but I can't tell anyone personally. I
know it wasn't my fault, he was my grandparent's neighbor. He died
right before I turned 13. He fell down the stairs leading to the
basement where he raped me. I was so happy that he died in such a way
that he broke bones falling on his old rear end. But also sad because I
never told anyone about, and never got revenge. At that age, what
could I do? Because of this, I hate men, I have known only one good
man in my life, who I cannot be honest with because it would hurt him
to know that his friend did this to me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am 18 years old and I see no future for myself.

I had cancer as a child and the only way I could survive was if the tumor
was removed. Unfortunately, my prostate also had to be removed. I never came
to the conclusion of what this meant until about 5 years ago, and since then
I have never felt happy about anything in my life. I hate feeling like this
and more to the point, I hate feeling that society has more or less accepted
that sex is the basis for any relationship. I've never had a girlfriend and
have always felt that no girl could ever like me, despite the fact that I am
just a regular guy (in most regards). It kills me to know that I will never
be able to have sex, let alone never be able to father children. It is
amazingly difficult to talk to any girl I'm attracted to (and as apparently
a lot of teenaged guys feel, that was basically any chick who would even
look at me) knowing that if I were to ever get involved with anyone, there
would eventually be a difficult talk of why I can't have sex. What's worse
is that I feel like my thoughts are incredibly shallow. Sex shouldn't be
this big of a deal, but then again, who am I to say.

I have major anxiety issues. I feel as if whenever I go outside, everyone is
staring at me and making fun of me when my back is turned. I look normal and
act normal and yet I'm always feeling as if nobody could ever possibly enjoy
my company or consider me as normal. All of my social interaction comes from
online, whether it's playing games or chatting with strangers on AIM. The
pressure is a lot worse when I'm not "on the spot" to talk in person and I
feel a lot better knowing the person can't see me, regardless of whether I
look/act normal or not.

I think I'm intelligent, and moreso than a majority of people, however I
have no desire to attempt to try for my high school degree. I'm ashamed that
at this point in my life, I will probably be forced to opt for a G.E.D.
despite it being a reasonable option. I'm ashamed that everyone in my life
feels like I am gifted in some form or another, and yet I feel as if I won't
ever achieve a god drat thing.

I often find myself thinking that people who claim to have problems are
jokes because they don't have to deal with what I deal with every day. On
the other hand, I sometimes feel like I make things up just to feel pity.

I've had suicidal thoughts but I'm way too afraid to ever act on any of
them. I sometimes wish something terrible would happen to me so that I'd get
pity and maybe wouldn't have to worry so much about supporting myself.

The chances are that nobody will ever know who I am and yet I'm still
ashamed to post this and even more ashamed of the things I've left out.

I need help but I'm afraid that nobody has anything to offer me and if they
do, they don't care.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This is the girl in the love triangle again.


MarvelGirl said: It makes me happy too. I hope they
are really talking about each other.
Otherwise
there is a lot more secret goon-lovin' going on here
than I would have guessed.

I contacted who I thought it was, but it wasn't him
after all. Which means there are a different set goons
in my same situation. I hope the one I'm "involved"
with is reading this, and knows that while I
technically responded to the wrong person, I was
directing it to you. I don't know if you feel exactly
as the guy I quoted does, but I feel for you. A lot. I
wish I could say something in particular, but I can't,
as my bf would know. But the castles... someday.
Someday I'll see them with you.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

Nicodemus Coop came out of the closet to say:
After reading all these goonie romance confessions, maybe some type of SA-singles forum could be made.
If anything, I'm a little surprised that even after the stories of incest, pedophilia, bestiality, sadomasochism, surprise sex, cheating and abuse that you actually want a singles forum. I think after this thread I will vow celibacy and try to associate with the least amount of humans possible.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

Jack Frost came out of the closet to say:


Jesus Christ, shut up. I can't believe you posted seven paragraphs going off on an offhand comment I made. Have you even bothered to read FYAD in the past two days? There are a lot of people laughing at this thread, myself included, and a lot of people making poo poo up. I even had a passing thought about concocting something extrordinarily disgusting myself and emailing just for a laugh. Settle down before you hurt yourself.

I really really wish you wouldn't do that. I understand the humor and everything, and the obviously fake ones I post, I post because they're funny. It would be nice to keep this as real as possible because I find it interesting, and it ruins things if they all start becoming totally fictional. To be honest, every post obviously has to be taken with a grain of salt, but I'm fairly certain many of these posts are just too real to be compleatly fabricated. These are exacty the responses I expected to be honest. We don't need made up stuff, there are enough sick people as it is.

In response to Dane Naplm: I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we's coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have bizarre sexual fetishes...

I love tight clothes. I am a man, and very heterosexual, and I like to wear women's spandex workout clothes...you know, leotards, unitards, tights, women's swimsuits, and pantyhose. I have done it ever since I was about 12, and I am now 34. I have a huge bag in my closet filled with tons of this stuff. I really love it, I think it looks great and feels great; it makes me really feel very sexual. I wear them around the house, or in the back yard, or out to the pool or hot tub at night (I live in a condo). It was a secret for years and years and years until I confessed to a girlfriend...she loves it.

Also, I have a fetish for really tight jeans on girls (well, on myself, too, let's be honest). This same girl that I told is ALWAYS wearing super super tight jeans, and she has a fantastic body (5'2", 103#). She gave me some of her jeans to keep, when I asked her if I could have some.

Although this is completely harmless, it is hard for me sometimes here in Miami, where there are thousands and thousands of really hot women wearing tight jeans all the time. It is very hard to concentrate on what I am doing...I mean, I can't help it, I just stare and think about it.

Someone observing me would think it is completely normal for me to ogle these women, but they don't know why I do it. I mean, naked girls are fine, but this is what really does it for me. I won't go into too many more details, but it is a very deep obsession with me.

Of course this is terribly embarassing...for me to trust somebody with this in real life was a very big deal. On the internet, it's not a big thing, but to tell somebody in person something really embarassing about yourself is hard. I seriously fantasize about these things all the time. I really wish I had more people to talk to about it, but it is just too hard to share.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I read 90% of SA threads from the last page back.

I've worn womens clothing when I was 11 years old, walking around
toching myself and masterbating. I'm really quite a normal person beyond
that.

I've jacked it together with my cousin when I was 15.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was a freshman or sophomore in high school, I
thought I had cancer and I was fairly certain that I
would die by my mid 20s. Senior year of high school I
finally told my doctor about it. Turns out it wasn't
cancer, just some wierd lumps of tissue under the
skin. I was pretty depressed in high school, and I
wish I could go back and have a better time.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

gotta love being anonymous

I came to somethingawful after my band received a pretty negative
review from the " your band sucks " guy, and Ive been a member here
since 2001. I laughed at the review, because the guy who wrote it
probably has never played an instrument in his entire life. We are
semi-famous, as we had a hit song but to be honest, none of us
consider ourselves to be that great at what we do. I love the
attention but I still feel like an absolute failure sometimes. I have
severe depression issues, even though Im always partying, and Im
somewhat well off ( we dont make as much money as you would think,
considering the amount of albums we've sold and amount of shows we
have played for huge crowds )

I post under my cousins account, whose email Im actually using. Im
scared to admit who I really am, because I honestly can't handle the
criticism.. Im in the wrong business, but it really tears me up inside
when someone takes something that I wrote and just absoloutely tears
it to pieces. I make music for fun, but i really do take it too
seriously sometimes.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

*A lot, I mean a lot of mod sass I'm not posting (Pimpsolo)*

So why haven't I posted a banme yet (and believe me, I've thought about
it)? For the same reason I signed up here in the first place: I get good
technical information from SH/SC. It's worth $10 to have access to that
forum.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm in my early 20s and still a virgin. I don't look that bad, but I have no confidence around girls because I have no idea how to be intimate without being awkward. I have a girl who I'm interested in - she's an awesome person, but I feel like I'm only pursuing her because I want SOMEONE to lose my virginity to (she's not that attractive). ATTENTION! Please separate these two confessions as if they were from two different people. ATTENTION! When I was really young (7 or 8) I used to play "doctor" and such with another friend of the same age. We're both male. We would play with and suck each other's penises and such. It was definately little-kid expirimentation, as I'm straight now, but what stays in my mind is that a few months later I did the same sort of thing with my older brother.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

With everyone clomplaining that they want an e-crush,
I have picked up the habit of checking profile pics.
From page 21 onward, I find the following goons
attractive... however, some of these pictures I don't
believe are you for a second (but I'll put your name
anyway):

ForeverGrey
TheRokstar
blackflare (get a different haircut and you'd be much
cuter)
deviant
kiko (I love you posts, btw)
NMR (cute puppy!!)
Ninja Woodchuck (f-ing hot)
cams (f-ing hot)
Only Shapes
l33t-whatever-the-gently caress-of-doom
abraxas
Funky (had no pic, but I like your posts)
jet poop
immolate5
Lucky Sevens (no pic, but I love your posts)

A lot of you complaining about no love don't have
pictures of yourself to love. Btw, I'm a chick.

I want to say thank you to Pimpsolo for doing this for
us... I've confessed... 8 times now. This makes 9.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I wasted 1yr of college and $1000`s of my parents money on pot, i wouldnt
even buy food id just starve so i could smoke pot 3 times a day hell i even
choose pot over the love of my life.

The only girl ive ever loved i cheated on for 2yrs just because i could...
one of the girls was an ex whom i banged and right after the 5min it too me
to get off i just pissed on her couch (im serious her parents wernt home and
i hated her that much) and left without saying a word as she screamed at me.
Aside from my cheating i tryed to make the most perfect girl ive ever met
cry just because i could and i enjoyed seeing her latch on to me and try to
keep me with her even thou i never had any intention of breaking up with
her.

Ive treated girls like poo poo thruout my life and went about 5yrs str8 without
being without a girlfriend i even kept a few on the side just incase.. after
i actualy fall in love with a girl and the relationship ended 2yrs later
when i go to college i cant even talk to women anymore and ive been single
for about 1 1/2 yrs i havent even kissed a girl since let alone had sex.

Whats realy sad is i know in my lifetime 2/3 of the worlds population will
die and im happy about it. Id have a smile on my face if i heard 4 or 5
billion people died partly cause i know where theyll be when they die and
that maybe the planet will survive with a smaller population. I also know
the goverment and the world has been corrupted and is in the pockets of a
handfull of weathly bankers and one day soon we will be nothing more then
serfs in a global modern age feudal system and its all happening because
everyone is so loving ignorant to the world.

Atheists piss me the gently caress off... Existanced poped up out of nowhere? BLAMO !
existance exept wait theres more the proove existance is an illusion then
its reality (See Sai Baba). and sadly i know this is mostly due to
evolution.... HEY GUYS IF THEY MAP THE HUMAN GENOME AND FIND WHOOPS WERE
MISSING ABOUT 233 GENES THAT WOULD ACCOUNT FOR SUCH CHANGES THAT CAME ABOUT
THAT CHANGED A MONKEY INTO A MAN Why arent they there? I mean come on look
at genetics o BAM INSTANT EYES AND HEARING ABILITY... Stop loving thinkings
its some old man in the sky who wrote todays bible and trying to define what
the gently caress god is GOD WE CANT EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND IF WE CANT EVEN
UNDERSTAND OURSELVES Look at life in itself theres certain numbers (such as
golen number) that occur everywhere in existance even in formation of
galaxys.... THIS poo poo DIDNT RANDOMLY POP UP OUT OF NOTHINGNESS UNLESS IT WAS
CREATED BY SOMTHING THAT EXISTS OUT OF TIME AND SPACE NOTHING IS REAL
REALITY LIES OUTSIDE THIS WORLD AND NO IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE MATRIX BUT
THE FACT PEOPLE WOULD BELEAVE THAT EXISTANCE POPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND SO DID
MAN MAKES ME ANGRY ROAR !!

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



Holy poo poo, I just got like... twice the amount of confessions in the time that I've been at work (from 5AM to 2PM now) than I did the entire thread. I hope none of these will be duplicates of when whoever started the other email address, I don't really need any more help though, honestly, thanks for offering. Looks like this thread has just begun. I will have every confession I have recieved worked on to be posted the moment I finish writing this. Ps. I have gotten about 8 hours cumulative sleep since I started this thread, and I'm not complaining since I'm pretty much an insomniac anyway.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Whenever I see something really innocent, it always makes me deeply
sad inside. If I see something like a children's storybook or a
blankie or something, something made completely for children which
gives no hint of how terrible and evil the world is, or anything along
those lines, I can literally feel my heart ache. It makes me wish I
could be innocent and not completely corrupted. I've felt this way at
least since I was a child.

I also have surprise sex fantasies. I really serious want to be hurt and
punished, not in a sexual way, but more in a way that I just finally
get what's coming to me for being such a whore and so evil.

It makes me wonder if I was raped or molested when I was young, but I
feel guilty and like a drama whore even thinking those things, even
though I've only ever told one person about this, and in a vague and
dismissive way. If something that tramatic and awful happened to me,
I'd have to remember it, right? Everything I've ever heard about
"Recovered memories" sounds like bullshit, and like it was just made
up by greedy therapists out to destory lives to make a name for
themselves.

I was abused a lot from the ages of 10-14, but it was mostly just a
bit of physical abuse (and not nearly as bad as some people) and a ton
of verbal abuse. This verbal abuse mostly centered around how stupid
and worthless I am, and never about being a whore, or trashy, or
guilty, just about being stupid. Am I blowing this out of proportion
and this is my problem right here? I really feel like there has to be
something more. So many people were put through much worse than me and
came out better. Am I really just an attention whore or making
excuses?

I've only ever slept with one person (who I'm still with and deeply in
love with), I've never really done much of anything actually that bad
to anyone else, or anything of the sort, but I just feel incredible
guilt. I feel so used and damaged and slutty. I feel a huge amount of
hate for myself.

I have no idea what to do about any of this, or if I'll ever be able
to fix any of it. I'd never post a thread about it or anything asking
for advice because I'd be afraid that I really am just being an
attention whore, and everyone would call me on it, and thus prove how
terrible I am.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This one isn't as sad lol ^_^

I am a furry. I have fursuit supplies, such as tails, ears, paws. I
wear them frequently. I like furry porn, I check a certain site every
day. I have tried to draw my own before, and have even written sexy
fanfics involving my fursona. I do believe that I am an animal deep
down, and would much rather interact with my own kind than humans. I
have never had fursuit sex, as I am a virgin, but I know I would get
yiffy with another fur.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A few years ago, I went through a rough bout of depression. On a
particularly bad night, I went for a drive in my brother's pickup, which
he had entrusted to me while he was away on business. I stopped at a
nearby liquor store around midnight and picked up a liter of Johnny
Walker. Drinking and driving and drinking some more, I somehow ended up
cruising from Oakland to San Jose, with half a liter of whiskey to go.
The drive continued up into the Santa Cruz mountains, where I killed off
the rest of the bottle and chucked it out onto the highway. At this
point I was weaving all over the road, and laughing like a maniac. In
the back of my mind, I was hoping that I'd hit a sharp turn and smear my
brains across the center divider, or drift too far to the right and take
a nosedive off of a cliff.

I somehow managed to make it through the mountains in one piece. After
finding a parking spot, I trekked along an asphalt path in bare feet
until I hit the beach, where I stripped naked and jumped in the ocean.
I felt a strange mix of emotions. In the midst of crushing suicidal
thoughts, I had the most intense awareness that I was alive. After
drifting with the waves for a while and staring at the moon, I walked
back my brother's truck and drove back through the mountains to the East
Bay, without a scratch on the car or a DUI arrest.

I've never told anyone about this. It may be a lame confession, but I'm
ashamed that I was so close to suicide, and that I put others at risk
with my reckless drunk driving. I'm amazed that I came out of it
unscathed. A part of me enjoyed the loving insanity of it, though.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession.

I sometimes think my best friend is an rear end in a top hat for foisting his
fantasies on any girl he gets involved with at his earliest
opportunity.

I hate my aunt and uncle and their two sons for being horribly racist,
I hate my other uncle for being too involved with his "new friend" to
bother coming to see my brother for his high school graduation. I
hate my mother for somehow squandering a 100k a year salary and being
forced to borrow financial aid money for college from me, which she
now disputes she ever did.

Sometimes I wish that I were more of an outgoing person; even though
I'm vastly improved since coming to college, I still find myself being
antisocial every once in a while.

I also think Dianasaur is hot.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I recently pulled out Pokemon Red. You know, from the first pair of Pokemon games? Since I have, I've been addicted. It's nuts, I killed a fresh set of AAs in 3 days playing this game. I'd rather be playing this than World of Warcraft. Halo 2, or Half-Life 2. I even have a Pokemon Game Boy from when I was a kid (still a kid, but I got it back in elementary school) to play it on. Take a look: http://fi.somethingawful.com/is/img369/8391/gbcusa4zb.jpg

God help me, I'm addicted to a game marketed to children and a past fad. Someone, please, save me.

PS Leech Seed/Growl ftw

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I secretly lust after all women I know, except family.
Well, most family. One of my cousins is pretty hot,
and fortunately, we're not related by blood. I used to
beat off onto her senior picture.

I think that people who have faith in religion are
mentally handicapped, simply using the concept of a
higher power as a rationalization for their own
weakmindedness.

I wish people I know would fail sometimes, just so I
look better by comparison.

I'm 19, and a junior in college. I have a 3.5 GPA, and
I think I am a complete failure. No one likes me, and
I will die alone and penniless. Sometimes I really
wonder why I bother at all.

Even though I try desperately hard to be a nice,
tolerable person, there's always a second or two of
extreme hatred and malice towards most everyone.

I am sure that I have a mental disability, most likely
paranoid schizophrenia and bipolarity. I wont tell
anyone though, because 1) the only time I ever saw a
shrink I felt like belting the fucker and telling him
to grow up, and 2) I think that if I got put in a
mental institution that I would immediately break out
and flee. Pills are not an option.

I think people that drink and use drugs are simply
escapists, using mind-altering substances to obscure
their own failures. I am fully aware of my own
failures, and seek to remedy them as opposed to
forgetting or obscuring them.

I have done a some bad poo poo on accident and then lied
about it, just so as to not take the blame.



I feel somewhat better. Well, not that much. gently caress.

"Like everything else in life, pumping is just a primitive and degenerate form of bending." - Bender

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My girlfriend and I broke up recently after I found out she had lied
about having feelings for another man. One of the things I told her
from the very start was that there were two things I would never
accept: lying and cheating. Anything else I could forgive. She had
done at least one of those things, so I did what I promised to do, and
I left her.

Lately I have been more lost and confused than I have ever been
before. Looking back on our relationship there are lots of reasons for
me not to want to be with her. She never admits shes wrong, she does
things to hurt me purposefully sometimes to make herself feel better,
and many other things. I always felt though that the bad times were
worth it because of the good times. She is the only girl who is able
to make me laugh, even when she is trying to annoy me I cant help but
laugh, and she would always laugh when I tried to annoy her. We did
everything together and I never got tired of being around her. She had
the most perfectly beautiful smile in the entire world, I feel that
even if I had 1,000 other girlfriends, none of their smiles would ever
compare to hers. No matter how terrible I felt, her smile would always
make me feel better in an instant.

I felt like I would never find someone like her again.

But in the few days between me finding out about the other guy and us
breaking up, I discovered something. I discovered that maybe it was
for the best. We are both still too young and there are many things
that we both need to figure out about ourselves and what we want to be
before we can have a serious relationship. We both have a lot of
growing up to do (yes, you too).

And that is exactly what I've been doing. Picking up new hobbies,
exploring different avenues of life, and having new experiences every
day. It really is time that I grew up, and even though it has only
been a few weeks, I have grown up greatly. I'm beginning a career,
picking up responsibilities, taking care of myself, and dumping bad
habits. My mind is finally catching up to my body.

I still talk to her sometimes and every time I do I try to show her
how much I have changed. I try to show her that even after what has
happened, I am still there for her with an open ear and an open mind.
I put her feelings before my own. I hold my tongue and say what should
be said, not what I want to say. Even now I am on her side at all
times, and I always come to her defence when no one else will. I hope
that in time she realizes that I have changed, and that I am doing all
of these things for her, even after everything that has happened. I
hope she realizes all the things that I have realized.

I would tell her all of this but it would not help the situation. I
want to tell her, I really do. I want to make her see the things that
maybe she isn't seeing. But I know that I shouldn't. Right now she
needs to decide for herself what is right, I cant decide for her. All
I can do is be there for her when she needs me, and always be a true
friend. I have done the grown up thing and set something free which I
care for more than my knowledge of the English language can truly
express, in the hopes that someday it will return to me; even better
than before.

So what exactly am I confessing? I am confessing my love. Even after
everything I have been through for her, and everything she has put me
through, I still love her and would do it all again. I accept all of
her faults and all of her shortcomings, all of her flaws and bad
habits. I accept and forgive anything and everything she has done in
the past. I dint know much about relationships but I know that in
order to be in one long enough to grow old and die together you need
to be able to accept everything about the way the other is.

And I do. I love you.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I started a BitTorrent tracker and ripped off goons for thousands of
dollars so that I could buy myself a PowerBook. It's shiny.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I don't know where to start. lets see. I am a perfectionist to the
point that I will not do something if I cant do it perfectly. I live
such a boring life that I wish I had a mental disorder. My whole life
I have been told that I was special and I have done nothing with it.
as I am writing this I want people to reply to it solely because I
want to be recognized. I have spent most of my life either blending in
or being socially correct, that I feel that I cant be original in
anything I do. I want to be accepted by everyone that I meet, I have
contemplated suicide but, I am too scared to ever go through with it.
I hate lying but I constantly lie to my loved ones. I hate the way
that I look and constantly get urges to hurt myself and I think that
one day soon I will not be able to hold myself back from satisfying my
urges. I don't think that any of my friends will ever understand me,
and I don't want to hang out with them if all they do is sit around
and smoke pot. I have thought about going to a therapist but I am
scared that nothing is wrong with me, and that I will be just like
everyone else.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My favourite instrument voice on my Yamaha Portatone is the "THICK
SYNTH LEAD"; so tacky. I like it so much I've even memorised its
number: 050. :cut:

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Triangle stuff again: I feel like poo poo. I haven't
slept well since the thread got started. I didn't
realize I had so much to say. It's funny, what I'm
feeling is probably nothing compared to Pimpsolo, but
he probably doesn't feel the guilt I have.

I just realized that I may very well be in love with
someone I've never met. I don't just say "I love you"
to anyone who passes me on the street. I've been lying
to my bf for 5 months. 5 months I've been talking with
this guy about everything and anything. Including
sexual stuff, marriage, kids, houses, work...
everything. And I can't believe it.

I feel like I've betrayed who I am, and who I want to
be. I can't decide if I want to risk everything and go
for him... because if I did, I'd break the heart of
the guy I'm with. Even if I did decide that in the
end, what happens if he didn't wait for me? Or we
don't get along?

I guess what I'm so incoherently trying to say is I
can't do it. As much as the thought of running off is
so appealing to me sometimes (not because I'm unhappy
now, but because of the risk of it), I can't do it. I
won't leave him.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. If
something unfortunate happens to my current
relationship, I'll come see you. I'll do all the
things I said I would. Including that thing I can't
mention (and I hope you know what I'm talking about,
BTW).

I'm sorry for blowing this whole thing out of
proportion, and making it a big deal. It never was
until just now. I'm sorry for making you hate me for
what I'm saying, but I need to say it. I need this off
my chest so I can move forward with my current
situation.

After all you've done for me, this is how I repay
you... I just want you to know that I'm sorry for
everything, and I'll understand if you never want to
talk to me again.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Where to begin? This might end up going all over the place and then looping
back in on itself, so please bear with.

I am convinced part of me hates myself. I don't mean that I have multiple
personalities that are aware of and hate each other, but I am overly
critical of myself and sometimes I set myself up for failure. I live with
the family of a friend of mine (who are also my friends), yet I often feel
alone. I've always been a shy person, but up through grade school, I
remember having friends and being more comfortable with people. From 7th
grade on, I've moved to a new town and become increasingly reclusive. I have
made a few friends in middle/high school, but I pretty much fell out of
contact with them as soon as we graduated. I over analyze what I want to
say, and more often than not choose not to say anything because what I want
to say does not pass my standards. I am terrified of looking like a fool in
front of others.

I want friends who share my interests, which are admittedly few. I largely
have no interest in group activities outside of more passive passtimes
(video games, watching movies), which I feel severely limits how I can
interact with others, so I don't even bother trying. I find it hard
sometimes to talk with those who share my interests, because they don't feel
the same way I do about them, and I run out of things to say very quickly. I
also do not like boring people with my incessant chatter about this video
game or that, which also carries over to people who may actually be
interested.

Here's a twofer, semi-related to the previous paragraph. Sometimes my cousin
and her husband have a game night. I bring my GameCube and PS2 along, and
more often than not, it turns into some 4-player GCN thing, all night.
Sounds great since I have people to play with, right? None of them play
anything as much as I do, so I usually smoke everyone else, which isn't
exactly fun. Moreover, I am too uncomfortable to suggest that we do anything
else, because no one else says anything. So I end up either owning everyone
at Smash Bros or something, or playing like a goober and not enjoying myself
so that someone else can win every now and then. It also doesn't help that
my uncomfortableness with people in general spills over to my family.

Even though I say I want friends to do things with, I have no interest in
making guy friends. I have only had guy friends through my school life, and
I have no idea why I feel this way now. I want to meet a girl to share my
life with, or more than one (as friends) if possible, but just one main girl
to have a relationship with. However, I feel even less comfortable talking
to women than I do with men. I feel that finding someone to accept me is
nigh impossible, due to reasons above and some below. Also, I tend to go
balls-out with something then burn out on it. I fear that if I were to get
involved with someone, it would turn out that way, which isn't fair to the
other person.

I have not brushed my teeth in over a month. I have hated doing so since I
was a child, and now that brushing hurts like a bitch, I have even less
incentive. Every single tooth in my head has at least one cavaty, many would
be noticable should I ever crack a smile (which I consciously avoid), and
they are all discolored. I have taken to brushing my tongue to help reduce
the odor.

I do not leave the house unless I go out to buy groceries, run errands for
my mom, going to see my therapist every week, or pick up a new game or
something. I tend to not shower unless I'm planning on going out, or it's
been two days since I last took one. Otherwise, I am at home, playing video
games in order to escape my lonliness.

As far as the showering and teethbrushing, I did these daily when I had a
job. I am unemployed at the moment, so they don't matter as much to me.

I have no fear of dying. I often wish I were dead. I do however fear
committing suicide, because the only "easy" ways involve pain. I have quite
a tolerance for pain, but I can't inflict it upon myself intentionally. I
have attempted twice, but they were both half-assed. I honestly believe it
would be better for the people who knew me if I were dead, instead of
prolonging my awkward relationships with them. And boy are they awkward.
Like I said, I'm not even comfortable talking about whatever with my family.
My dad, who is on disability and lives with my grandmother, pays $300 a
month for my rent. He loaned me money last year so I could aford to buy
Christmas gifts. I dare not tell my mom how I feel, because she would freak
the gently caress out, which is not good for her anyway, due to high blood pressure
and that she freaks the gently caress out about everything anyway, and I'd rather
that she not make a big fuss over me. If i were dead, no one would have to
worry about or take care of me, because hey, I'd be taken care of.

That's not nearly all, but I think this is way more than long enough for the
time being.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a loser. I'm now 18 and completely bored with life. I'm also 6'3 and around 250 pounds and haven't worked out in about 3 years, so It's safe to say I'm a bit fat. Perfect skin and all that good stuff.. Complete hermit since 10th grade though. No real reason for it, other than I got tired of driving nearly 2hours each morning to get to school. Also I got my knee hurt in football that year and that helped me start the venture to being a hermit that was "home schooled" PRO TIP GUYS: You have to get a GED, no diploma for you, you social shut in!

So fast forward to where I met a girl in a mmorpg a year ago and fell in love with her. She shares my humor, my "smarts," and everything. We just click on things and I've never had anything close to what I have here with this internet girl! She is also a goon.

Also, turns out she is a lesbian dying of non-curable terminal disease.

Thing about it is she tells people she is a lesbian and only shares the terminal disease part with close friends, I guess. Kinda weird I suppose.

I've never heard her voice because "it hurts to talk" and "the oxygen mask(?) makes her sound weird." She has no webcam anymore because the terminal disease makes her look like skin and bones now. I say "not anymore" because, well she sent me pictures of herself, rear end and tits. Which she did look nice and all. PS: I never masturbated to them god drat it.

Yet I love her for her personality and all that comes with that. She says everything I say to her, somehow subliminally cuts her down. That I just don't care about anything. -- I don't know how to show emotion that well, let-a-lone the internet.. what do you want from me

Yeah I know how god drat lame this all is but gee golly I'm on the internet and I have no life and I just really love this "girl," in fact I think of her as a best friend now. Since because, after telling her I love her and all that good stuff she simply said something along the lines of "if I wasn't gay you'd be the perfect guy for me" or something like that!

We always chatted everyday, I mean everyday and played video games and other stuff EVERYDAY. Because both of us have no real life. That's all stopped because I felt that I was smothering her. I thought "Hey I won't say anything to her until she says something to me", so about a week passes.. Hahaha oh god. She hasn't said a thing to me. I made some small talk but it just didn't feel the same so I figure I'll let her contact me the next day? So.. about two weeks? Pass.. (As you can see here I'm not too good with the ol keeping time thing!) More small talk to spark conversation back with her. Still the same awkawrd feel.

I confronted her after not talking to her for a few? NOT SURE HERE AGAIN LOLOLO, oh god help me,... Wait wait what? Oh right to ask her if she didn't like me anymore and didn't want to have anything to do with me, explained to her I'm not good at taking hints and would apperricate it if she would tell me in words other than shunning me. Well she didn't say a thing after that, she didn't say anything. She didn't tell me that she didn't want a thing to do with me or what. So I just said "I guess we're not friends anymore" and she then said "ahhhhhh I give up" ----- WELL OK. Now I haven't talked to her in about a week(?) LOL TIME LOL, and I'm extremely depressed because I feel like I lost my lively hood and literally my only friend.

I have no goals in life right now, I have nothing to live for. Suicide is all I think about now and I think the world would be a better place without me.

I'm pretty sure if she reads this or maybe a few other people see this, they'll know extacly who wrote this and who I'm talking about WE'RE ALL NERDS SO SHUT UP

oh and on a lighter note! My mom keeps emailing me to turn on my phone (I have had it off for about a month now) Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

he;lp

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Ok, lets see.

Sometimes when holding an object that could easily kill someone such as a knife or a gun, I do a quick glance and see what exits there are to the area and start seriously thinking about how many people I could take out before I was stopped.

Puberty did a loving number on me.

I've rubbed my penis on cats. I've rubbed my penis on cousins. I have fantasized about my family while masturbating. I smelled one of my friends sisters underwear on many occaisions. I tried so drat hard so many times to stick my own penis in my mouth.

I've considered killing people many, many times.

For a long time I was depressed because of these thoughts because no one could idfentify them or help me; my thoughts were largley self destructive and I would do anything that could potentially get me in serious trouble, i.e. legal problems.

I have since then cleaned up my life.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Somebody I love left me and thinking about the good times we shared makes me completely miserable. The tiniest spot of hope still burns in me that she'll come back even though I know it will never happen, but I'll never let that hope go since it too makes me miserable.

I can't stop this because I don't deserve to be happy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The goon drama mentioned in the confessions so far is nothing compared to what I know. I don't want to hurt anyone for no good reason so I won't talk about it, but once the secrets inevitably get out, there will be some spectacular implosions coming up. Expect multiple thousand post threads, if they're even allowed to stay ungassed.

On a related note, to people that want a dating forum: You're all both horribly desperate and complete morons. Do you realize how many goon couples have stayed together through more than a couple of years vs. the ones that have publicly flamed out in a blaze of permabanned glory? I can think of ONE that is still going after a decent amount of time (I have to give some props to EPG and Fistgrrl, though. Way to beat the odds) as opposed to a few dozen whose naked pictures are now all over the Internet because people are too trusting.

Having said that, a few goon girls are great people that I am happy to have as friends. I'd just never date any of them (and to be fair, they'd probably never date me) because the average goon has more baggage than the still smoking crater of Aaliyah's plane. Twenty six pages of incest confessions later, I'd rather go gay, and it would still only be for people not off the SomethingAwful forums.

Yes, I've had goon girlfriends before, why do you ask?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me internet, for I have sinned many many times.

Right now I'm trying to subtly convince my ex-girlfriend to kill herself. She's threatened to do it before, and I'm fed up with her guilt trips, so now I'm going balls out of the bath to try and make her do it. The only person in her family who doesn't deserve it is her sister, and that's only because I thought about her every time we had sex. She's 16.

The first time I hosed a different ex in the rear end she started crying. I stopped, pulled out, wiped my dick on her rear end, and rolled over and went to sleep, with her crying into the pillow beside me.

When I was younger I used to gently caress myself in my rear end with my mother's dildos. It was good.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a bisexual male who loves fat people. I've always been attracted to overweight females since I could think about sex. I never really thought it was that big a deal, just a fetish, but I've never told anyone about it. I still think normal chicks can be attractive, but I will always prefer larger chicks. It wasn't until a year or two ago that I have been having sexual thoughts about men. I get off on the idea of being a slave to a tall, fat, and preferably hairy older man. I'm not into much BDSM, just making me suck his cock or having him forcibly butt gently caress me. I love big hairy man asses too, I want to have a big fat man (or women) sit on my face and have me lick their assholes clean. I also love big feet, and love the idea of being forced to give a man a long foot rub while sucking his sweaty toes. I know this sounds like some lame gimmick but it's real.

I like to go to online chat rooms and pretend I'm 18 and talk to big fat men, but they are kind of hard to find. Most of them are just creepy looking pale guys with no hair, which I guess you should expect when you are looking for middle aged men who want to dominate teenagers. I remember someone once posted this picture of a big fat man with a black beard in a pair of black briefs. I think it was from some BDSM club but that guy was loving hot and I wish someone would post that picture again.

No one I know in real life knows about this. I pretend to find all these preppy anorexic blond chicks hot, but I'd much rather go out with some of the fat chicks. But I don't because I'm scared of what my friends will think. I'm afraid I might pick up some normal chick and try to gently caress her, but not be able to maintain an erection.

I don't want to be gay though. I consider myself bisexual but everday I am prefering men more and more. I am a virgin, and I am almost positive that I could find action from some guy the day I turn eighteen, but I want to have sex with a chick, fat or not, before I gently caress a guy. My dad told me that if me or any of my brothers were gay he would be okay with that, but I know deep down he wants us to start or own families. The thing is, I want to have a family too. I would really like to have a nice wife and lots of kids, but every day i am liking women less and men more. Right now I am quite a bit of ways from being all-out gay, I still like women alot, and i hope it stays that way.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

After 25 pages, I guess I should make my confession...

I was never too popular with the ladies. How about that? A goon who lacks social skills? Color me surprised! I guess it is safe to say that after a few jilted relationships - including two where I was cheated on - I harbored hatred towards most women.

And it came out when I was in college in the worst possible way.

1999 was my sophomore year. And like anyone under 21, I frequented my share of parties held in rundown frat and sorority houses and other such fire hazards. Being at a sorority party really turned on the hate switch. Come on, a guy who hates women, inside a house full of women?

At one particular party, there was one woman who was particularly drunk. Rather attractive, I must say, and also a complete ditz, like most sorority girls are. Bleach blond hair, fake tan, pants with some random word across the rear end (I never understood that fashion trend), inability to speak in proper English. She's going around the party making her rounds flirting with anything with a cock. And it made me pissed. It made me think of the times I was cheated on by previous girlfriends, ignored, mocked, made fun of.

That night, I directed the full force of my rage against her.

I waited until she was fully drunk. And that's when I made my move. I introduced myself, using a false name of course, and struck up a conversation. Being that she was drunk, she was hanging on my every word. I eventually worked her over to one of the bedrooms in the attic, unnoticed, far from the partying. We started making out, and then moved on to sex. Can't say the sex was bad. Hell, the sex alone wasn't the reason for what I was about to do. It was what she represented.

I started getting rough. Slapping, swearing, not much at first. She didn't like this, and told me she thought I was a rude rear end in a top hat, and wanted nothing to do with me. That's when it happened.

I started to pummel her in the face. Fist after fist, blow after blow. Maybe it was the rage or the alcohol, but I had no problem holding her down. She screamed and tried to run, but I grabbed her and threw her into a wall, face first. I don't remember if she just got a bloody nose or if I broke it. I kept punching her as hard as I could. I grabbed her hair and slammed her into whatever surface I could find. By the end, she was bleeding pretty bad from her mouth.

But I wasn't done. I was going to show her a lesson. And with that, I raped her. I don't want to go into the specifics of what I did, but let's say nothing was left to the imagination. At that time, I knew I could be caught, but I was past the point of no return. After a few minutes, I finished up. She was kneeling on the floor, a bleeding, quivering mess. I immediately kicked her in the chest, spit on her, and told her to have a good night.

I left the party and went back to my place. When I woke up the next morning, there was talk of a student who was beaten and raped at an off-campus party. It was her. At that point, the full realization of what I had done sank in. I got paranoid. What if someone saw me with her? I knew I would be caught.

The police questioned a few people about the surprise sex, but not me. Nobody saw me with her, and she was too drunk to remember who the rapist was. And the fact this girl had a reputation of being loose helped my cover. She never returned to college after that event. I don't know what happened to her.

As for me, I'll never be caught. The statute of limitations expired two years ago.

I will say that I knew I had a problem, which was later diagnosed by a psychiatrist who I saw. I went through counseling and therapy with the doctor. And I think it worked. Two years after graduating, I met an incredible woman, and we later got married. We're still madly in love, and have a beautiful baby boy to show for it. Life couldn't be better.

But do I regret what happened at that party? Nope.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Geckolio, Geckolio, Geckolio. I first met Alison 3 years ago at gooncon. I thought she was beautiful although her goth tendencies kind of freaked me out but I thought it was a phase. We began to talk a lot on the phone and on AIM, this continued for about 2 years. 1 year ago I moved to NY, I wanted to make my move on her but she was involved with a guy named Tom. She complained about their relationship, saying she only stays with Tom because he buys her a lot of stuff. He works a lot and is never with her.

Alison goes for days without seeing Tom pretty often. Aften telling Alison I had moved to NY, I suggested we meet up. She has nice tits and I wanted to see them in person. We went out to eat at Ray Bari\'s Pizza and then went for drinks. Going back to her place was not an option since she does not live alone. We went back to my place to kick it.

We sat on the couch and I began to question her about Tom and their relationship. She talked about how lovely it was, I didnt really care but I pretended to care because I wanted to gently caress her. In a drunken stupor I leaned over and kissed her neck, I dont know what I was expecting but I was surprised when she embraced me. I kissed her on the lips and we began to make out.

After a few minutes of making out I ripped off her dress. It was a black dress with some sort of dead baby on it. I began kissing her breasts, then I fingered her pussy. I lowered my pants and she got up on top of me, I inserted my penis into her vagina without a condom.

I had unprotected sex with Alison. We did not speak for weeks but I eventually IMed her cuz I was too scared to call her. It was very ackward, I asked her views on abortions and she stopped me and said she \"had to go\". I havent talked to her since then.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think that GBS is retarded and 99% of the posters are either idiots or under 18.

I think the forums should be 18+. The kiddies are terrible. Either they are immature morons or try too hard not to sound like immature morons.

I actually hate the SA forums. Everyone seems like a fat virgin nerd. Just look at any goon meet thread! Seriously, I have never seen such enjoyable human being nerdos.

I sometimes think the front page is a little funny, but I have never seen anything that was \"Comedy Gold\" on the site or the forums, except may an ALOD or Weekend Web.

I share this account with three other people.

I only like the forums because it is a great place to gawk at nerds and their sick lives.

We have been e-stalking AlbertHerring for quite some time now because we are making a fanclub. That guy is never gonna get laid, and just needs to come out already. It is hard to believe that someone talks or types like that rear end in a top hat. What a uppity bitchass. This file on that guy is huge.

I love when people get banned.

I think fyad is great, especially the gooncon threads.

If gooncon is in a good city next year we are all going to laugh at the socially awkward mob but still have fun in a cool city at the same time.

Killing_Field loving sucks and I hate his lies or stories or whatever. Go write a book or take it to CC, lying fagass. It is a testament to the shittiness of the forum that this guy is liked.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'll try and keep this short.
I had sex with one of my good friend's girlfriends.

When I got my own GF, I cheated on her with the aforementioned girl. We had been going out for about 3 weeks at this point. (We had been friends for ages first, so we became pretty sexual when we started 'dating')

I didn't tell her until 2 years into our relationship. Needless to say, it screwed things up pretty badly. I only cheated the one time, but still regret it.

Here's a hint fellas, if you cheat on your woman, tell her right away, or NEVER.

I don't currently have a GF. But I have a best friend that I fool around with. It's in the grey area between friends and dating. She also has another guy that she is the same way with. It doesn't really bother me, because we are friends first and foremost. It sometimes bothers me that THIS doesn't bother me.

After reading this thread, I will never bring a female friend to a gooncon again. I'm sure most of you that I've met are great, but I would feel bad if one of you got her drunk and hosed her, being the amoral type that you confessed to.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I found out that a guy I knew's girlfriend was a goon, I made a conscious decision to try to steal her. Not because I was particularly interested in her, but just so that I could say that I was dating one of the few attractive female goons.

I also think to myself "aft torpedoes, FIRE!" whenever I take a poo poo, and have been doing so for years. I laughed that much harder when this season of Family Guy started out with Stewie doing the same thing (oh, and I think of phasers whenever I piss).

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I didn't know what sex was until I was 12, and even then I had to piece things together during the boys-only health class. God, that sucked. They had pictures of naked people at the front of the room. "Wow, it looks like that would fit ri--ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

I first masturbated at 19, after my new college girlfriend taught me how my parts worked. I ended up masturbating every couple of days, including under the sheets at night, with my roommate eight feet away. I think he knew, but I didn't care, because I knew I'd never find out if he did.

My girlfriend hooked up with a gay guy and dropped out of school a quarter later. "Hay guys, you ever forged hospital notes? Because we haven't been to class in two months..."

Years later, I gave my number to a girl at a party. She was short, and fat, but we were drunk, and horny, so we made out, and ended up going out for a month or so. I lost my virginity to her, and I'm glad I got that done. I kept trying to get past her looks, but couldn't. She fell in love with me and I stopped putting anything into the relationship, hoping she'd give up on me. We only had sex a few times after that, and it sucked. She finally broke up with me by text message.

I've known for years that I would turn to the internet for dating. It's really come home in the last few months.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I had a lot of rage and anger issues as a child and teenager. Although I have become much more controlled and focused in my life, I still have nightmares where I become, literally, a demon and commit monstrosities upon other people.

I believe that in a past life, I was either a demon, or a reviled sociopath, and that somehow, I was meant to be the same in this life, and that I somehow am taunting the powers that be by continuing to uphold the vow of pacifism I took as a young adult. I have no concept of ethical 'right' and 'wrong', and can only grasp onto this vow because I think it is the most human, and therefore appropriate thing to do, despite the temptations that anger and perceived injustices bring.

I also realize that this particular belief system is consistent with what has been described in the DSM-IV as signs of a schizoid, antisocial personality disorder. But I am too afraid of complicating my life any further by attempting to seek any kind of counsel or help.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have an intense fetish for pee and poop kinks. When I came to this thread, I read through each page explicitly hoping that there would be at least one other goon who was into the same.

Between the babyfur, the pants pooper, and the bedwetting fan, I feel much better about myself.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have to get this off my back. My long time enemy, let us call him "Joe" has this girl named "Jenny" and I loving hate him for it. He doesn't deserve her and I have made it my personal goal to ruin his relationship.

Everytime I see them at school I'll always give his girlfriend the most sexual hugs. I'll hold her right above her butt, or sometimes I'll run my fingers along her pant lines. I'll accidentally brush up against her breasts and the best part is that I'll wink at the guy while I do it. He wouldn't dare lay a finger on me because his girlfriend thinks I'm the funniest guy ever.

I have made a promise to myself that by the end of the year I'll get her drunk and will seduce her. With some careful planning, I'll probably be able to gently caress her by the end of the school year. It will be such a victory for me to lose my virginity to her. God I hope it happens. I hate him. I love her.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Lets do this....

Alright, I have a fetish for pregnant women. And lactating women. Especially pregnant, lactating women. In regards to the pornography, usually it comes in waves, as I usually like normal stuff, but then every so often I HAVE TO HAVE some preggo porn.

This also applies to piss porn, but not as much.

I cannot stand scat. I've downloaded the Metis video, and shown it to friends, but I've never watched it myself.

I often fatisise about older women. When I interned at 17, it was all I could do to wait to get home to masturbate with all the attractive older women. Also, there were a lot of attractive pregnant people in the office, which might influence my first confession.

I try to make myself look more feminine, and usually all my creative writing has a feminine edge to it. I am a man. I think I'd like to experiance having a vagina, but I'm afraid of menstration, and I can't imagine being penitrated by anything but a woman. Sometimes I get off to thinking what I think it would feel like to be fingered.

Men and masculinity disgust me most of the time.

I love dickgirl porn, and hentai, and well drawn erotic fan art, though usually only from Video Games.

I did NOT beat off to the 'badly drawn futurama fanart' because that stuff is seriously creepy.

When I was a 11 I invented the 'penis shake' which was a handshake with, you guessed it, penises. Me and my best friend were the only ones who knew, and now I pretend it never happend because it's really gay.

There's a girl who liked me my whole life and I was a terrible bastard to her for years and now that I've grown out of that I like her :

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I regularly hang out with three other guys all of whom were my good high school friends.

We do all sorts of things together - go to the local internet cafe, eat at del taco, get free food at our local 24 hour diner, smoke cigars, drink, etc.

Yet, I have an undying hatred for one of them. I can't stand him. Everything he says inspires rage from within me. I have a deep animal lust building inside of me that drives me to impale him with a spear and strangle him with his intestines. I'll burn all his red hair. gently caress you _____ and your corporate bullshit.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Over a year ago I severed all contact with my social circle for reasons even now I can't entirely rationalize. At the time I imagined that the group was going to shut me out as some of them were moving in to an apartment together without me. To this day I refuse to go back because I would view it as a sign of weakness and defeat. Two of them were getting married, and I was going to be a part of the wedding party. I didn't even have the decency to send a refusal to the invitation when it came. I have no idea where they are now.

Similarly, I've cut off friendships and relationships out of an irrational fear of abandonment. I feel that being the one to sever connections empowers me, and spares me from the heartache I'd otherwise feel.

I had the opportunity for mind-blowing sex, and I was too dense to pick it up at the time. In hindsight, I was also worried about the girl having STD's, but she had a fantastic rear end, and I'm still a virgin. Given another chance, I would gently caress her raw.

I can only barely see out of my right eye, with peripheral vision only. Because of this, I would like nothing more than to be able to wear an eyepatch. My glasses wouldn't allow it though, and that makes me sad.

I once met up with a girl I met online through an MMORPG. It was a wholly unsatisfying experience and I make fun her and the experience now regularly. We made out and I saw her breasts, they were horribly misshappen and small. I immediately threw up once she left and regret the amount of money I spent on the dinner and gas it took to see her.

More than one of these confessions have aroused me, and I find nothing hotter than a girl who absolutely wants it, even if she shouldn't. Even though I'm a virgin, I'd gently caress a girl like that all the time given the chance.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a zoophile. It's simple as that, and I feel as if I've known this all my life even if I haven't really admitted it to myself. For all my life I've never been attracted to another girl (or a guy). I know plenty of good looking people, and one girl has been trying to hook me up with her sister for years, but I can't feel any physical attraction.

However, animals catch my eye like nothing else, and are really the only things I think of to arouse myself any more these days. I would rather 'do' a dog, regardless of gender, before any other person I know. When I go over to my friend's houses every now and then I spend more time in the yard with their pets than whatever I came over for. I am not a furry, anthromorphs do little more for me than regular people. I'm not anti-social, I am surrounded by friends and charming people.

Recently, when that man died from horsesex, my blood froze; it could have just as easily been me in that position. I live out here in the redneck woods, finding some horsecock isn't out of the question, and domething I've considered, even running around at night on foot scouting potential places out.

I actually chosen a puppy entirely for the purpose of my 'pleasure'. Male, because I now I would penetrate a female far before she is ready, causing complications I don't wish to inflict on an animal. If the He is only eight months old now, and I make sure to play with him in the nude as often as not. I count down the days unti; he is two years old, intending to reap sweet consensual sexual pleasure, not a few precious stolen moments in darkness or fondling when heads are turned, but from a parter that is mine and mine alone.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

Comfortador came out of the closet to say:
Pimpsolo is loving the attention he is getting from this thread WAY too much me thinks

It's kind of cool, but the main reason I think it's a bad idea to have multiple email addresses is I know that I will keep the confessions updated, I don't want peoples confessions lost in spawn off accounts, or duplicates. I mostly don't want this thread to turn bad and I know which confessions the mods don't want me to post. I am really enjoying this thread so far, and I don't want to see it die because of that. Although I do appreciate the help that has been offered, it was done with good intentions.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am responding to a confession that was directed to me. :drama: You know my SA username, instant messenger name and email address, you could have contacted me all this time and you never bothered to make things right. It's not like I was going to do it for you forever.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

What can you do about being attracted to your significant other's sibling? What if you spend the rest of your life with them, and that other person is always around?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm not racist in the least, but anytime I go to lunch with any of my black friends, I always suggest fried chicken, and they always agree. I do it intentionally and secretly find it hilarious. I also think Johnny Rebel and other white-pride friend of the family-stompin' songs from the sixties are hilarious as poo poo, and sing them line at the store, replacing "friend of the family" with "ninja". In front of black people. They have no idea.

"Well, I like children and I like tea, but I don't like ninjas, nosiree".

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

After a long time of stalking him, I must get this off my chest. I have the world's biggest weenie crush on Garry, the creator of Garry's mod. I think he has a hillariously cynical sense of humor. I read all of his posts on the forums and browse his site frequently, hoping for updates either about himself or his work. I've found only a few pictures of him, and I find him terribly cute.

If he reads this, I'm sure he's going to know who I am. I tried talking to him a few times, but I ended up embarassing myself terribly. I wish I had never done it, but even after embarassing myself I still haven't lost my infatuation.

My friends are going to laugh at me if they happen to read this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I wish I were a hot woman for all the free attention and sex I'd inevitably get. Not so much the sex, but definately for the attention. I'd wear nice but clearly revealing clothes all the time.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once found out that my girlfriend had cheated on me with my best friend. I blackmailed my friend with this into paying for my dinners for a month.

I realize that I am turning into my mother, sometimes - the deep resentment of my parents, the alienation of friends and aquaintances, and the descent into books/libraries. I realize that I value my books more than I value any one else in my life sometimes.

I've drawn pornographic things for money, and I discovered that my sister's boyfriend was one of the people who has sunk the most money into paying for some particularly disgusting stuff. I would warn my sister, but I do not want my family to find out because I will probably get cut off from all money/insurance support for drawing some of those things.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate people who support intelligent design as a scientific theory. I also dislike people who think that because they read some butchered pseudo-scientific article written by a hack that got his degree from a "Christian College" it makes them an expert on biological evolution. They are one of the few sorts of people that make me wish I were more violent.

I also prefer to read more than I care for most people I've ever met. I work at a bookstore and grit my teeth when having to deal with people there.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I secretly hate the fact that people do drugs. I believe they do it because they can't handle real life, or because they think it makes them cool. Also, I have no friends because of it.

The moment someone I respected or thought was funny, interesting or attractive makes a drug-related joke or comment that implies they might even smoke a little weed, I immediately back off and keep them as acquaintences at best.

I mock people on IRC who talk about drugs.

I was once approached by a soliciter for a marijuana legalizaion petition, and I slapped the clipboard out of his hand. But, I support all the positive aspects of legalizing drugs, like cutting down on our overwhelming gang problem, but I will never admit to it in person.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I never sent my secret santa their christmas gift.

I constantly post in threads that I never read.

I have IMed some of the females goons in this thread and pretended to be interested in them but in reality I think they are cunts. If you have gotten an IM since this thread started at least 1 person thinks youre a dumb whore.

I took images from photoshop phriday threads cropped out the SA watermark and turned them in as my own in a photoshop class because i was too lazy to make my own.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a friend who is engaged. I am likewise engaged. My friend is female. I know she's severely hosed in the head. I would gladly ruin both of our relationships to get her cute rear end alone for 8 hours for some hot sex, because we both have unofficially agreed that we would totally gently caress each other silly. And I think it'd be worth it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I tried to kill my grandmother because she was too old to learn how to use a proper cable box, and I couldn't order Comedy Central because of it. I shortened one of the legs on her walker hoping she'd not notice, put too much pressure on it and tip it over, busting her hip. I'm serious. It didn't happen, luckily.

Years later, my grandfather came home from the hospital to tell me my grandmother had finally passed on. An hour later, I met up with my girlfriend, hosed the poo poo out of her and never shed a tear.

I HATE YOU, GRANDMA!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i was at a barbecue with people from work and at the end of the evening, one of the guys looked like he was going for a friendly hug, so i hugged him, but looking back at it i think he was just going for an elevated-shoulder handshake and now i feel all weird about it.
Ahahahaha!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I looked through my mom's dresser drawers when I was in high school to see if I could find anything interesting or incriminating. Sure enough, I found her vibrator, a big knobby green dealie. This happened back when I was still unsure about my sexuality, and I was curious about what it'd be like to be hosed in the rear end. So, since she was gone for the weekend, I took the dildo and lube and tried it out on myself.

I liked it so much I did it several times after that, whenever I knew she wouldn't be home until late night or the next day. To this day I love getting it in the rear end, whether from a guy or a girl with a big strapon dildo.

I made sure to clean it off thoroughly after every time, at least.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

surprise sex turns me on to a point where I almost considering doing it. It seems so easy too; just prowl someplace a near bar late night and swipe a drunk girl thats out alone. Nearly all of the stories of surprise sex in this thread are arousing to me. I rubbed one off to the picture of the girl and boy tied up somewhere in the scary pictures thread.

I'll never, ever do this, because the thought of how much emotional damage this could cause the recipient frightens me.

I also hate my one friend's stinkyhole of an ex girlfriend for spreading poo poo about me and getting me excommunicated from any social gatherings my friends go to. I hate her for dragging my good friend and coworker into her dramabomb of a breakup by going to him for support and protection against her ex boyfriend whenever he tries to confront her about the relationship. She does this because everyone else hates her except for him. I hope she loving kills herself.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was molested by my (female) babysitter when I was in second grade. Only once, and not to a horrifyingly scarring extent, but it still happened. My memory's a bit fuzzy, but I distinctly remember it going as far as genital/genital contact because I recall thinking how "bristly" she was. Nobody ever found out and the family continued to babysit me for another year until my parents just let me come home by myself. My sister was friends with the molester in question until well into college, and my mom kept in touch with the molester's mother until very recently. I don't feel like it's caused me irreparable harm, but I've still only told maybe half a dozen people about it, none of them within my family or anybody who'd know the girl involved.

Still, I got my grove on well before most of you bitches.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to break into trailers parked behind major stores (like Best Buy). They usually had a padlock on them, so I started taking boltcutters to them. I got lots of brand new boxed pallets of office supplies (laser printer toner, chairs). I sold some it on eBay. I also dumpster dove. I'd find new release albums and DVDs, where the manufactured discs were blank or unreadable. They were usually scratched into oblivion by the store before they were binned. I would find the media, cases and inserts, reassemble and sell them as new on eBay with a stock photo. Same with a few Furbys when that was all the rage.

I would never steal anything from inside a store, but I would steal things that were out in front of them in plain view, like 12-packs of soda. One night, I got so much of it, there was no way I could take it inside the house without my parents knowing. I drove around with cases upon cases of soda in the back of my car for months. It actually filled the trunk, so I had to leave some in the backseat and brought them in four at a time into the house.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This is the boy goon #2 (the one that was mis-replied to) from the anonymous love triangle responding to girl goon #2 from the same love triangle, and I will reference response #7112.a4

It strikes me as funny, but it's all good. The misclaimed anonymous statement was more eloquent than I managed, so I think you just got confused and went for the more romantic anonymous statement. That's okay, though. I don't mind seeming more romantic than I actually am.

To whomever wrote the misclaimed anonymous statement - good luck, buddy! (PS: Double date?)

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a girl, and sometimes I desperately wish I was born a guy because it's so much easier to masturbate. I've been doing it for years and can only remember one time that it felt even a little bit satisfying. I do it 3-5 times a week despite the fact that my orgasms are incredibly shallow and don't feel all that great.

Added to that, I sometimes have intense penis envy, to include wanting to gently caress a guy with one.

I too signed up for the forums hoping to find a goon in my area to date.

I am 21 years old and a virgin and while I know that's not terribly old, I'm still extremely self conscious about it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I really wanted to have sex with something, so I told an fat, ugly goth girl that I thought she was attractive on the night she discovered she was pregnant by miscarriage.

When I kissed her, her breath smelled like brocolli. She cut me off three days later.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am 27 and I am going to die alone, unloved and childless.

I lost my virginity at age 19 on a beach towel laid out on a garage floor. It was a blind double-date set up by a friend of mine. The girls in question were a pair of pudgy identical twins. My friend and his date got to use a couch in the basement, lucky jerks.

After that, I entered a relationship and lied and told my gf that SHE was my first. She never found out even though she later confessed that she stalked me to find out what time I got home from the other date mentioned above. She had to drive two hours away from her home to do it.

That girlfriend later went insane, said voices in her head told her to cut her hair short. Then she said I made the voices go away and I was a miracle worker. Then she dumped me for a guy with cerebral palsy. I really wanted to punch him because I knew he couldn't fight back, but I didn't. A couple years later, I'm convinced I caught a glimpse of them at a popular hangout in the nearest major city. I went home, drank myself into a frenzy and it took several friends to talk me out of hanging myself.

Eventually I fell for someone I met online and talked to on the phone for about 40 hours per month. I flew to Florida to meet her and she admitted that she had led me on emotionally for 3 months before the visit, and she could never have a relationship. I moved anyway mainly to spite her. She ended up calling me up drunk one day asking for sex, so I went over. She totally backed out after I put my dick in her, and then refused to give me head. I jerked off all over her sheets and left and haven't spoken to her since. That was two years ago.

Recently I got head on the first date from a fat chick I met on OKCupid. On the second date all she wanted to do was lay around my place, eat and watch movies so I cut off all contact with her.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

honestly, I haven't showerd in at least 3 weeks. I just really hate the feeling of getting in and out of the shower. And its not like I'm meeting any babes anytime soon or work with the public. So it doesn't really bother me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once knew a kid whose bedroom could compete in the 'most disgusting room' contest. Once, his family went on vacation, so a friend of mine and I broke into his house. We were looking for credit cards so we could overnight a bunch of computer poo poo to their house. When we couldn't find anything of interest, we searched his room. The kid was only like 12 years old, he had TONS of pornographic videos. He had holes ripped in his pillows, and when we picked one of the pillows up, some pens fell out. They were covered in dried up fecal matter. We came looking for fun, we left after trying to figure out how to put them back into the pillow so nobody would know we'd been there.

We ended up infecting their PC with all kinds of stupid viruses and left otherwise empty-handed. They ended up formatting and losing all their saved games. Whoop-dee-doo.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Ive done every drug under the sun except for heroin. I had a serious cocaine addiction that led into a crack addiction. Im over it, but I seriously miss it sometimes. I have a good job, a awesome girlfriend, and a great life. God drat it though I always think about smoking rock. It loving sucks. I would love to get my hands on some.

Almost none of my friends know about my crack addiction. It made me feel weak at times but its one of the most incredible highs ever. If I could take it all back I would never had tried it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm in the Marine Corps and hate it. I think of getting out everyday and what I could do to make it happen. If anyone that looked up to the military knew what kind of poo poo goes on you wouldn't approve. When I hear about soldiers dieing in Iraq it doesn't bother me, I hate the united states and wish I lived in Canada.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I submitted my confessions just to see if they get quoted because I like the attention of being quoted. Even though this is anonymous and only I would know I was quoted. I will probably continue sending confessions until one gets quoted, otherwise I assume that no one has read my confessions.
Just don't make up confessions. PS. I read it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

This is the first time Ive confessed, so this is going to be long.

Background first then:
Im a 17 year old male and I have never kissed a girl nor have had a girlfriend, let me explain:
I dont shower daily nor shave when I need to, I dont cut my hair when it covers my face nor wash my teeth when I have bad breath. (Rhyme!)

So pretty much Im a disgusting slob, oh yeah Im overweight too.

Confession time!

-I seriously belive I have split personality, I talk to myself in two different voices, answer my own questions and repeat statements in these voices. I believe I have a "good" and an "evil" personality. Ive been doing this since elementary school.(Keep this one in mind when you see vastly different reactions about stuff)

-I masturbate thinking of the somewhat close female friends I have, it doesnt help one constantly hugs my back and I can feel her chest against my back (no, she's not hinting anything she's just cheerful like that). I find myself saying "This is bad you know?, you love them and want to protect them" only to reply "Yeah, but this feels so good...lets continue". When I finish I think Ive done something terrible and feel like poo poo, I promise to myself it wont happen again but I just cant stop...

-I enjoy finding random girls in online games and wooing them, just to make them strip in webcam for me and have cybersex, then I vanish when I grow bored of them only to feel bad about it and spend many a nights thinking about them. I remember this one girl who would do anything for me and I dumped her when she had some problems and couldnt get online to fullfill my fantasies, fastforward to some weeks ago, I got the hots for her again and after some long internet search tracing her posts in forums for her current e-mail, I found her again and I will use her again without remorse...and im going to enjoy it oh so much....

-I think im vastly superior and only a select few are worthy of my friendship, I do care a loving lot for those I deem worthy though.

-My family is cruel, its in my blood really, I enjoy seeing those not worthy suffer for whatever petty poo poo they wine over, yet I cant stand seeing a girl cry and feel like poo poo when I spot one.

-I have a bunch of pictures of naked girls I wooed over time, I still fap to them too.

-The closest Ive been to doing something with a girl was ALMOST asking a friend if it was okay to touch her breasts, she was 15, I was 12 and we were in an school transport. I fap to this one too.

-I once played with a bra which belonged to my mother, feeling it around and wrapping it around my junk. I was about 12 too.

-I once had a cat lick my stuff, the pleasure was so intense I couldnt stand it for some reason and made it stop. Looking back on it maybe it just tickled too much.

-I used to betray my friends for fun, saying poo poo about them and making fun of them when they were no around, I still do it from time to time, I cant help it.

-For some reason I get incredibly mad when I see someone I dont like, I imagine their silly faces laughing and then me punching them in or breaking their heads against a wall.

-I like attention from the ones I care about, I imagine complex events in which I am idolized for something or another.

-I spend an average of 7 hours in front of the computar daily

Life is harsh really, I have problems in school for being a lazy sonofabitch and the whole split personality thingy adds to it as I get angry easily and can spout the most offensive stuff Ive heard without remorse, Ive been trying to change, I care more about hygiene and school but then when I think of those lovely girls in school....I dont want to be like this

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was younger my mother had met a man who raped and abused her, and constantly abused me and threatened to kill us if we told.He was eventually arrested and sent to jail.

When he was released I was 18, I found out he was living with his mother. I waited for him to leave her house, which he did in the early morning. I followed him and flagged him to the side of the road. When he pulled over, and stepped out of his car I pulled out a gun. I told him to drop to his knees. He cried, and asked what he had done wrong. To think he didn't even recognize me. I told him he was getting off alot easier than I did.

He looked up at me, tears streaming down his face. His eyes widened, he knew who I was, and at that moment I fired a single round into his head.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father. I have not sinned but I feel I have failed as a member of this society.

I realized today that I am worthless. I'm a social retard who's afraid of human contact. I avoid social interaction as much as I can. When walking to class I avoid eye contact to everyone I come across. I suppose most of this fear stems from me thinking that if I do interact I'm bound to say something stupid and that I'll be judged from then on as just some dumbass. I also don't post very much on SA for this reason.

I'm also childish when it comes to relationships and feel the need to constantly know what's going on in fear that I'll be left out of the loop and somehow left behind by all of my friends and miss out on enjoying life. The worry gets to be so much that even when I am out and should be enjoying myself I'm worried about what other people are doing. I just lost my long time friend because of this a few days ago, coupled with the fact that I overreact to igsignificant things that normal people should just be able to brush off. I'd give anything to just be able to go back and enjoy myself instead of obsessing over what everone is doing.

I'm not worthy of friends. I'll go back to my cave now and continue lurking. Thanks for this thread.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

To all those women who keep going on about how size matters: gently caress you! It's just your cavernous cunts that are the problem..

I once injured a girl during sex, I think I kept pushing in deeper because I thought girls love that (I thought women like 10" cocks and I'm only 6") but it was hurting her and I didn't realise. I think I may have been rougher than usual becuase I had been drinking (and women I've been with usually say I;m TOO gentle if anything) and I hurt her.

I didn't even realise the next day why she was mad but I was worried when she kept telling me how sick she felt and she didn't want to see me. She told me over MSN what had happened.. she said it was hurting and it took her back to something horrible: her step dad used to surprise sex her when he was drunk. She said she had a flashback and went submission. I had no idea.

I've never cried so much when she told me. All I wanted to do was hold her, I wanted to be the one to protect her from all the crap in the world, not be someone who inflicts pain on her.

We never got back together, although we tried. We were intimate again eventually although it wasnt penetrative sex, just fondling etc.. she told me a few days later that it made her to feel dirty to be with me and we couldnt see each other anymore.

I was ashamed to be a male for ages after that and felt just as guilty as her step father. I ended up on meds so I wouldn't kill myself. I've never been a bigger mess after a break up, even though it wasn't a long relationship.

Every time I a woman with a "yes we lied: size DOES matter" stcker on her car I wanted to run the slut off the road.

Mo matter how bad I felt, I know it cant compare to what she went through as a kid. Everytime I think of it, I want to track her stepfather down and bludgeon him to death for what he did to one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met.

I found out a couple of months ago that she is getting married to someone else.. I had been holding out hope that one day we would cross paths and we can get back together but I've now accepted that it will never be.

Since then I cannot have a relationship with a woman as I'll always be scared of hurting her accidently.

I've had "the one" in my life and shes gone, I will probably never marry. Perhaps some of us are meant to be alone forever and it's not worth getting upset over, just do the best we can with what we have.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once masturbated in school.

For some reason, while I think about sex, what I really want is an emotionally satisfying relationship - and i'm a 17 year old guy. Maybe I have the gay.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I don't know what I did. I haven't killed anyone. I haven't had sex with any relatives. I haven't raped anyone. I don't have any fetishes. I'm pretty sure I haven't really done anything wrong ... But for some reason my brain thinks I'm the worst person ever. No matter how I try to rationally think about myself, something inside my head makes me think I'm a horrible horrible person.

Sometimes I feel really good about myself. I've accomplished a lot, and I think people like me, or at least they pretend to. Sometimes when I put my mind to it, I feel like I could do anything...

But then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I sabotage myself. I get these horrible feelings, and I think life is not worth living, and I wish I was dead. My number one fantasy is that a meteor falls from space and goes right through my brain. I think about killing myself all the time, but I know I'm not capable of that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am 24 years old and I still suck my thumb. I cannot fall asleep without it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a heterosexual male, and In the political sense, I am as pro-gay as you can get. I just assumed all the stereotypes were like a 1% minority that bigots focused on, because up through high school, I never actually met a gay person. But as someone who recently went to college in the northeast, god drat, the stereotypes are all so, so painfully true, and sometimes I want to punch one of those flaming, annoyingly dressed, high-voiced sissies in the face.

I'm still just as pro-gay marriage/adoption/military integration as ever, but jesus christ, do they have to fall right into the stereotypes so much?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 20 years old, a junior in college, and have lots of good friends. I hate college and I think it and my major are boring. I dream of dropping out and joining the marines, but I don't want to disappoint my parents.
Hey, I say you just switch places with the dude a few quotes up who want's to leave, this is a match. TWENTYNINE DIMENSIONS!!!!! that determine long-term success in marriage-scientifically proven principles of compatibility.

Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

Funky came out of the closet to say:
After reading one about someone who hosed someone who found out about pregnancy by miscarriage, I'd just like to say that discovering pregnancy by miscarriage is awesome and would like to hear some confessions, anonymous or otherwise, about people flushing a baby down the toilet and never telling anyone.

Also you people who messaged me bitching about surprise sex are lame ok.

I know someone personally who actually had this happen exactly, so I guess I'll confess for him, even though I told him I'd never tell anyone, but I decided I will tell 150,000 people who read this thread. So this friend of mine was dating this girl who had really crazy Christian parents and the girl was kind of rebellious about it so she had unprotected sex with him and she got pregnant. By some miracle apparently, before they broke the news to either of their parents, she was going to the bathroom and it just slipped out, no poo poo. Barely recognizable from what I was told and they loving FLUSHED IT. That's the part I'm pissed about. If it were me, I'da put it in one of those jars with the dead baby sharks in it, and probably left the shark in it anyway.

Edit: Well, I guess they didn't discover it by miscarriage.

Pimpsolo fucked around with this message at Aug 24, 2005 around 20:16

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Pimpsolo
Jun 6, 2004



quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was ten and my sister 5 I raped her with an action figure... she started bleeding a lot and I freaked out and ran over to a friends house. My mom found her crying behind her bed and she wouldn't say what happened but she saw the blood everywhere. I came home and told her my friend had tried to put something in her.

poo poo really hit the fan. He was in a mental institution from 12-17 when he asphixiated himself. I've never ever told anyone about this before but I'm always afraid my sister knows the truth.

I also lopped the heads off of every cat I could get my hands on and hid them in the park near my house. Kittens I ducktaped behind my mothers van's tires so she would run over them the next day. Those I also blamed on the same friend.

Do I feel bad? Not really, I consider myself absolved of anything I did before my medication started.
Posted for being morbid enough to think of all this, and for the slight 1% chance that it's true.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have more friends on the internet than I do in real life and I like it that way.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Although I've read worse in this thread there is something I have to get off my chest. When I was about 10 years old me and my brother, who was 5 at the time, were playing in our front yard. We were just doing kid stuff, ya know: playing in the dirt, picking at ant hills. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but for some gently caress reason, I threw a brick at my little brother from about 20 feet out.

What's worse? It actually hit him square in the back of the head. He bled like a stuck pig and I think I shat myself.
No, I'm pretty sure I did poo poo my shorts. I don't recall getting my rear end beat or being punished for reshaping my
brother's skull with construction materials but I felt intensely guilty for almost 20 years. Even years afterwards,
whenever he got bad grades in school or acted out in an aggressive manner, I always felt like it was my fault for
giving my brother the brick-brain syndrome.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am married but secretly believe that it won't last very much longer. My wife is fat and she never tries to do anything about it, won't try to watch what she eats and won't exercise. She also has many chemical problems and I don't think she will ever amount to anything in this life because of them. I contemplate leaving her once a week or so and wonder what it would be like to be with a hot chick who didn't have as many issues. However, everytime I seriously think about it, I am ashamed of myself and feel very shallow. I honestly don't know whether or not I am still in love with her.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I wasn't necessarily a bad kid, but when there was a group of us, I'd do out-there things to impress my friends.

One time, a group of us, probably in 3rd grade or so, came upon this kid, maybe 5 years old or so. We talked to him for a bit, and at some point the subject of Mother's Day came up, and he wasn't getting anything for his mom yet. I suggested that he should at least do something for her... let her know how much he cared by calling her a loving bitch. She'd love him for that. And we encouraged him to run home and tell her right then.

Also, when they started building houses in the empty lot behind where I lived, we all became fascinated with the half-built houses. At one point, one of the houses had a second floor, and all the walls had little frames to indicate how the rooms were divided up. We went into the bathroom and saw that it had a bathtub, but no toilet. I shat in the bathtub.

Also, in one section where a couple planks were far enough apart for me to fit into, but close enough together that I could hold onto them for support, I shat off the second floor, onto the first floor.

As many gross toilet stories as my parents still tell about me to every new friend who gets invited over, I'm too embarassed to add that one to the mix, lest all my siblings' friends know this about me before anything else.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

28 year old virgin here again. (Hey, I have a lot of dark/weird poo poo going on OK?)

I started jacking off on webcam a year or so ago. The rush was incredible. If it weren't such a pain in the rear end to find viewers I'd probably do it a lot more.

I love it when the woman watching goes on about how big my dick is, how much she wants to play with it etc. (Yes, it's a woman - finding viewers is a pain because so few can verify their sex).

It's nice to have that attention, even if it's only online. I don't know what kind of pencil dicks they've had if mine looks big to them. I'm not small but I'm no Ron Jeremy either.

Now if only I could someone to actually get naked with...

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have an easier time telling strangers on the internet about my life and problems than my own psychiatrist.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My senior year of university I almost got into a threeway with two sophomore girls. I was at a house party, where I noticed a couple girls I knew in the middle of a knot on the dance floor. I came back with some extra beers for those without some, and started to chat up this cute half-Thai half-Mexican girl named Jessica wearing a backless shirt and jeans, and her hispanic friend Maria who was not as cute and had braces. At first they were reticent to take my drinks, but when the girls I knew vouched for me they were all over me. I spent hours dancing with two young women grinding on me, wandering around the house, sitting on the couch (the half-Thai girl in my lap), groping each other on the dance floor.
At one point Jessica and I went upstairs to cool off and take a piss. While I was in the hall, Maria came out of the room she had been in with one of the people who lived in that house, with whom she had been making out for a while. She told me that Jessica wanted me in the bathroom, but I just gave her a look and she quickly asked if I thought she was cute. She held up her arms and did a little twirl in front of me, at which point I felt her up and squeezed her tits. She leaned back against the wall with me and massaged my balls from behind for a few minutes. When Jessica came out of the bathroom I drained the lizard and then quickly collected more beer and got them back on the dance floor.
Once the party wound down Jessica and I waited for Maria to dislodge her mouth from her new beau and join us outside. I started to walk them home, but they were supposed to be staying someplace else due to a series of events I paid no attention to, and it was "too late" to take them there, so i took them to my place instead. We walked down the road with our hands on each other's asses.
When we got to my apartment I let them into my room. Jessica and I started going at it on the bed while Maria checked her email. Jessica was a moaner and I was afraid she would wake up my roommates, but after a little while I stopped caring.
When Maria was done, she slid on top of me and gave me this expectant look. Jessica said, "What are you doing?" and made a very weirded-out face at me. By this point the cheap-beer induced brain damage we had incurred was wearing off quickly. I did some mental arithmetic, realized I could either have sex with a very cute girl or a not-so-cute girl, but not both. I looked at Maria and shrugged my shoulders.
She took the hint and walked out of my room and into the living room, where she proceeded to smoke indoors, make long distance phone calls and stub out her cigarettes on the carpet (thankfully in the same spot, so there wasn't much of a hole there).
Meanwhile Jessica and I hosed on my bed. As we did so I tried to steal her panties by stuffing them between the wall and my bed, although in the morning they weren't there anymore. She was so loud I had to keep my mouth on hers so she wouldn't wake up my roommates, which would have been a total buzzkill.
In the morning I saw them off after making coffee, only to discover my Zippo was missing. I had Jessica's email address, and emailed her both to try to hook up again and get my Jay and Silent Bob Replica Nails Cigarettes lighter back. She emailed me back saying I didn't have to 'go through the motions' to try to date (she was rushing a sorority at this point and was apparently "worldly"). I told her I was keeping in touch because she had a fly booty, and because Maria had my lighter. Maria swore up and down she did not, but eventually she discovered it in her coat pocket (exactly where I thought it would be) and I exchanged a twelve pack of Killian's Red bottles for it the next Friday. Amazingly they asked me if I had plans that night (probably because I had a car), and I blew them off to go to the movies with my sister.

I ran into Maria a few months later on campus during the summer. She recognized me, but was with her boy and said nothing. I have never seen Jessica again but I remember her name.

I have never told anyone this story. This was more than 5 years ago, and I still think about it, even though I am soon to be engaged. I guess some things just haunt you. Sometimes I wonder if I could have nailed both of them, and I think up scenarios where I could have seduced them into a threesome. Most of these involve more alcohol, which probably would have worked on college sophomores.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I wish that Sargasm would put a picture back in her profile as she is hot, funny and smart. Girls who post in D&D get me all hard.
Maybe if you didnt follow up the first sentance with the second sentance, I mean, I don't know for sure, but maybe she wouldv'e considered it, maybe? If you did that though, I probably wouldn't have posted your "confession."

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I stole money from an old lady who I was doing work for on my job. Wasn't much, but she was old and the poo poo was put away. I wanted it, so I took it, and no one ever knows the better for it besides me.




I really am a twisted SOB. I want to be nice to people, yet ive been hurt all my life by everyone around me, growing up. I could care less if my entire family died, as I don't really love them. They exist, but I just don't give a drat about them. They give me poo poo, and I try to care about my father, but somehow, it all feels like I don't.

I am a cold, dark person emotionally. Nothing shocks me, and I do not know fear or anxiety really. I don't get very angry, or happy, or sad. I feel like im in control of every emotonal state, and there is none of this spontanious feelings crap. I have no guilt, or shame, because I do not internalize the beliefs of society. I follow my own rules, and society can go gently caress itself, as most of its rules are foolish, and have no backing in rational thinking, just that fairy tale that is religion, which is to say that I am agnostic, and not athiest. To all the people that hosed with me growing up, somehow, id like to kill each and every one of you. But, I know I would not be better than you are, as scum of the earth. But, you call yourselves human, and you have "humanity"? 99 percent of you mother fuckers have no humanity, and just lie to yourselves. I got more humanity in my pinky finger than any of you ever had; society destroyed my humanity. If I could save the world by sacrificing myself, I wouldn't. I live for the 1 percent of the people I can care about in this world. The cold, abused personalities that have been shat on and have no feelings and do not really think they can love. the tormented, people that are twisted, and love depravity and pleasure like I do.

I enjoy everything that is "evil". Id like to try having a huge cock in my rear end some day, sucking some cock, as it seems like it might be fun. gently caress the whole "love men" thing though, I don't love guys; its all physical. I enjoy BDSM, anal fisting and stimulation, and get off on being degraded. I also being a dom, and love to surprise sex and torture woman in fantacy, and generally make them feel lovely and worthless. This is all in good fun though. Why fear what can't hurt me? I laugh at 9-11, and look at it, and it just seems surreal. 3k people died, so loving what? Why? Because of fairy tales; religion.

I want to love, I really do. I found one woman I care about in life, but Im not sure I love her exactly. I don't even know what it is, just because Ive hid everything from everyone all my life, as I could never do anything right, and was a gently caress up even when I tried to please others. I share everything with her, and she knows every thought I document here. I never thought anyone would like me for who I am, but it seems I have been pleasently surprised, and finally feel like I can love someone, even if it is a pitiful nurturance because of the nature of our relationship being polyamorous and the distince.

I actually get off on pleasing others. I give 110 percent to the people I care about, and ruthlesstly take from the rest of you cocksuckers if you get in my way. Get in my way, and if I can get away with it, ill loving kill you. Just don't gently caress with me, I want to enjoy my life. I don't need money, I just need pleasure and love. The hope for pleasure and love is the only thing that has arrested me from totally pillaging and hurting others to get what I want.

Im likley better than you. I get off on knowing that Im better than most of you people are are besieged by your feelings of anxiety, and fear, and guilt, when they are your own creation really. Don't want to be guilty, stop being guilty by realizing the core belief that causes guilt is likley faulty. I am more intelligent, more knowledgable, more hardy, and stronger than you. I grew up poor, living off government cheese and powdered milk with ignorant parents who are trash like a lot of you are. I get off on being punished, I like to see how much pain I can tolerate, in all forms. I grew up with bullies, and alienation, and a lack of love. No one ever helped me.

I smiled when columbine happened. I wish I lived that out, like a real life version of DOOM. I wish more people died, and I wish we had better footage of it all. Dylan and Harris were assholes for committing suicide. Kill the loving cops, duke it out with them you goddamn pussies, go out fighting. Only thing missing is a "Head shot" from the announcer as you cap some swat cocksucker. Make your life a statement. I watch how the media tries to blame DOOM for this poo poo, but it don't really bear any blame. You people have yourselves to blame for columbine. Society created me via socialization, and everyone else too. Im waiting for the new R-Star game BULLY to come out, I think ill enjoy it.

I really am a loving, caring person at my core. Its just bitter memories of the past, and a lot of it I still feel. But, I don't really care to exact vengeance on everyone so much anymore, as people have changed as they grow up. Less cruel, but easily just as stupid. I forgive society somewhat, but every time there is interfearance with me, the rage is there to bubble to the surface, as Im forced to comply to restrictions based on the fairy tale that is morality, as morality has no basis in science or fact. It is a human creation, and beyond me, as I am the god of me.

I wouldn't mind loving my cousin. Its not worth my time to persue, but if she offered id oblidge.

I like intelligent, knowledgable, introspective woman, who are good enough looking so that im not automatically repulsed(I don't need much looks, but I have to not gag when I imagine loving you) who are as depraved as I am, or at least somewhat so. I want to corrupt the former catholic schoolgirl, and bust a cumshot all over her pretty dress after loving her in the rear end. I want to love her, and care about her, and share my mind, and I want them to share thiers. I want to see everything, no secrets, just the rawness, the desires, what makes you, you. I want to love you, even the faults, and give you 110 percent, and I want you to love me the same, because you enjoy giving to someone who gives back. I do not desire to own you, or control you, I just want someone to be with. I want you to be happy, go gently caress other guys if you want, and love others, and enjoy all the pleasures of life. Just be with me at the end of the day as I hope you see me fit to be your companion at the end of the day that you can trust forever, with anything. I like a plain, normal, exterior for the general public to see, and for me to see your filthy inner thoughts, unfiltered and unfettered, and all of what you think, no matter how silly or stupid. I simply accept, no matter how depraved or anti-social you may feel you are, or how out there you may be, because I love you regardless; no matter your human faults.

I found value in one person on this planet, there must be more. One person singlehandedly helped stop me from becoming what I hate about myself as I resisted it; the coldhearted, ruthless, inhumane, unfeeling side of me, that would explot and use like they have been, and revived the loving, giving, caring, kind and generous person that was destroyed in my childhood. I want more people, I want to love and care about more people, it is addictive.

The cold is there, but it is tempered with some feelings now, and my purpose is to find people to enjoy life with. I still don't mind killing most every one of you, but my hate is only there when provoked now. Torment me, ill loving kill you, because I don't care. I don't fear death. Let me die, sometimes I think it would be a blessing. I am an avenger, the defender of the meek, and the slayer of the filth.

I hate psychopaths, as they are what I hate about myself. I can be every bit as brutal and cold as the worst serial killer, to those I hate, because I don't really feel. Life isn't sacred, its a loving joke, being anti-abortion is a joke, its just a loving chunk of meat, with no more of a "soul" than any of us has, meaning none.

I like offending people. I want to poo poo on the Holy Bible. I want to masterbate all over the visage of Jesus Christ. I laugh at 9-11, cheer at columbine, I buy em, thier mine, my right to defile them as I wish. Images only have the meaning you give them.

Most people would cringe if a woman farted when they were going down on them. Id just laugh, and continue, as a fart is meaningless. Most things are.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been active in Furry groups for over 10 years, since I was 12. I've also been a lurker around the forums since they were founded, though I didn't register until much more recently. I don't post much, but it felt weird to see the attitudes progress as furries were discovered by goons, reviled, and now passed off as old meme.quote:
---------------
anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I cried over the Confessions thread.
---------------

Tears of joy? Or that you can relate to the pedophiles?

--

Not quite, mainly since I find it horrible that so many people have all these bad things happen to them/do bad things, (no doubt people will brand me as doing this only to appear good in public), but I want to help them. Yet I know I can't.
I know what you mean.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have never been able to interact with people well because I always feel the need to impress them or make them laugh. Last time I went to school, I ended up ditching it and converting to homeschool because I became depressed, and couldn't take having to live up to such high standards. I even started having panic attacks, and would stop breathing all together.

I currently haven't left the house in almost two weeks, because I can't stand being around people. I can barely talk to my own family, and have trouble even doing my school work. I really have no idea what I'm going to do with my life.
Can I be honest here again? I lived a good part of my life, mostly my high school life feeling that I always needed to impress people, and make them laugh. The difference is, I was very successful at it (not to impress you or anything) But in all seriousness, I was really good at it, and I graduated having been voted multiple cool things by my senior class. Allow me tell you where it left me. Feeling very empty after I graduated, with a select group of close friends who really know me, and I don't feel I have to impress or make laugh. Hopfully you will find this out by taking into account what I said, and realizing that if you keep good company, not that there's anything wrong with making people laugh, but if you just act natural, you'll attract much better company. Well, that's just my guess.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a regular goon and I am a Neo-Nazi, but I don't say anything in the political threads because I don't want to deal with any of you and don't want to be hated. I watch American History X just for the racist scenes daily.

And I've never felt better about myself.
These Neo-Nazi confessions are interesting. I'd kind of like to hear what the gently caress made you become a Neo-Nazi? What the gently caress?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

For the past three years I've had a gently caress-buddy sort of relationship with a girl from Tennessee. Since we were too far away to do any actual loving (and she was a complete buttertroll), we would have phone sex almost every night. I'm 17 now, was 14 when this began. As a couple of years past and my voice dropped, she claimed she was extremely aroused when I said the word "Indeed." She was at least two years older than me, as well, and I haven't talked to her in 6 months. Probably because she stopped letting me phone sex her. I was basically using her as a masturbatory aid, but I'm never going to meet this girl in real life so it doesn't matter. But it's good to finally get that off my chest.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes I find myself attracted to girls, but I find vaginas and female anatomy disgusting. I love tits though. I love the big perky, perfectly round and tan tits. I just want to bite them. But I would never keep eye contact. I feel ashamed when I get these feelings. I feel ashamed when I masturbate. I feel ashamed at sexual thoughts.
I wasn't even raised relgious.

I'm afraid to tell my parents I'm atheist, because my mom's grandfather was a minister.

My parents think Im a crazy attention whore, and I don't know what I've done that would cause them to believe this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm tired of black and puerto rican, (that's usually who it is) calling white people racists becasue they don't agree with something they said. Or for no reason whatsoever, or just because we're white. I'm also tired of them getting offended at everything. And the fact that they complain about white people being on TV. Come one. Seriously, that's just stupid. Saying white people control the country, what the gently caress ever.
Look, there's 4 states where the "minority" is the majority. There's 4 more states on the way. It's ridiculous. This country is no longer for white people. it's being taken over by black and puerto ricans. I hate the ones that can't speak english. I don't mind when people have thick accents. But can't speak english at all because they think THEYRE superior or are just too drat lazy, are pathetic.
I hate them.
I also hate that they're reproducing all the time and collecting food stamps. I work in a grocery store. I saw two rican women pay 200$ in food stamps, for poo poo food then go out to their bright yellow hummer. What the gently caress. They have the best clothes, car, shoes, accesories. But they have too many kids that they dont' want. Don't know the father. It's pathetic, it makes me sick.
I hate the people who are decked out in clothes that dont' fit them, are covered in fake gold. Way too big clothes. If you could wear a mens small, you shouldn't be wearing a 3x.
Or the ones that can hardly speak english or are too lazy to fully pronounce a word. Or people ho typ lik diz bcuz its da kool ting 2 do. That's loving illiteracy. I HATE THAT.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I work a reasonably low level position of a major corporation. Despite this, I feel powerful by neglecting my work to read Something Awful. The knowledge that hundreds of people get their goods a few days later all because of me makes me feel like Hitler.

The only time I ever click on someones profile is if they are a girl, or i'm in D&D trying to find material I can use for an ad hominem attack on them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love my girlfriend to death, but she is my first love cuz I used to be a fat nerd, but I cleaned myself up. Anyway this other chick wants my chilli really bad and I know that I can gently caress her and I am a virgin and my girlfriend wont give it up yet. I feel horrible for even considering it, and I dont know if the oppertunity comes around that I wont turn her down.

I feel horrible, really really really horrible.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My girlfriend is interested in me anymore. We don't see each other very often, but I really love her and haven't been interested in anyone else since we got together. I assured her, and she assured me, that we could make it work. We are in love and neither of us are interested in anyone else.

But recently, she said that it'd be better if we were just friends. She says she still loves me, but that it's not fair on either of us to be a couple when we don't see each other much. She (and I) still don't want to see other people, but she said that for the moment, it'd be better if we were best friends instead of boyfriend and girlfriend.

This would be fine normally, we wouldn't see each other much but would still be very close when we were together. But, since she told me that, she hasn't really been interested in talking to me at all. We used to talk all the time when we saw each other, but since she said this, it seems like she doesn't really want to spend time with me.

I'm not sure whether I should tell her this and break it off. Might seem like it'd be the obvious thing to do, but I think she does still love me, and is just having a hard time dealing with not seeing me much and this is her way of dealing with it. Maybe when we can see each other regularly, she'll be fine again?

On the other hand, this might just be the first step towards a silent breakup, gradually seeing me less and less until I see her one day with another guy, and she assumes that since we have barely talked in a while, it was over between us.

Wrote out like that, my situation is pathetic and I should have broken it off as soon as we couldn't be with each other often. I almost wish I could, but whenever I think about that, I think about how much I would miss her.

I wish I had someone I could talk to about this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I use lots of drugs that a very select few of my friends know about. I would rather eat a girl out than have sex with her.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I threw up blood this morning.

This has been happening sporadically since november, when I wrecked my father's corvette. Which was ironic, since it was the first I didn't drive it like a loving moron. The car was totalled, but I was okay, or so I thought.

A week later I lost my job, I got depressed, stopped caring about school, and completely failed a semester, then a second one. But no one knows, since I've gone to great lenghts to cover it up, including faking reportcards and transcripts.

What does the vomiting blood have to do with this, you ask? I won't go to the doctors to get checked out because I want to die. I don't want to live anymore, but have the courage to kill myself, so I just sit here and wait for the inevitable to come. No one knows about this either, as far as anyone is concerned, I'm perfectly healthy and normal.

Appearances Arn't always what they seem.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was hell bent on getting attention from goons. I even made up a story saying I had cancer for attention. I have since gained a lot of weight. People made fun of me so I dont post anymore. I found another forum.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me, goons, for I have sinned.

I have never, ever confessed what I am about to confess to you.

I was incredibly horny and molested both of my sisters; one 4 years younger and one 2 years younger, from the time I was ~10 to the time I was ~15. I did things to them at first without, and then later with, their consent.

For years, the only thing that would make me become aroused was the thought of having sex with 10-15 yr old girls. I had sex with several women while thinking of underage girls just so I could get an errection.

I have since dropped my (fetish, addiction, problem, sickness?), and moved onto more normal sexual themes. However, sometimes I worry because I never feel as good or become as aroused as I did when I was with my sisters.

During my "transition" period I started exploring new avenues to excite myself. I hosed an engaged woman, and then hosed her again after she got married. I hosed a masochist just so I could try beating and torturing her. I contacted, over the internet, a woman who had surprise sex fantisies - and then without warning or ever really meeting her, raped her. I paid dirty whores to gently caress me. I paid upper-crust "escorts" to gently caress me.

I think the worst thing is that even though I know that I should be ashamed and disgusted with myself, I am not. I have no regrets, and in fact I still enjoy the memories of a lot of it. The only reason I quit my pedo fetish was that it would get me into too much trouble and was too hard to cover up.

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