Something Awful Anonymous Confessional

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Something Awful Anonymous Confessional

«‹›3 »

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

Wait, didn't he hit that whore Esmeralda in the end?

# ¿ Aug 24, 2005 22:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 02:54

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

poo poo, I thought she was executed, but didn't they do it before that?

# ¿ Aug 24, 2005 22:04

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

drat Yankee came out of the closet to say:

Not in the book or in either of the film interpretations I saw. Maybe someone's written fanfiction where it happens, though.

*checking "Really badly drawn futurama porn thread"*

# ¿ Aug 24, 2005 22:05

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was in the pit percussion section of the marching band in high school. There was this kid who played the drum set who could not keep a set tempo to save his life, and was always screwing up the whole section. In addition, he was a huge rear end and would always make really horrible homophobic comments to the people in the section who were gay. There are two things we did to him that I can remember, both occured after we obtained a pair of police handcuffs. First we handcuffed him to the back of the equipment truck and drove at about 30 mph back from the practice field to the bandroom. Secondly, we handcuffed his hand to his leg and pushed him down a flight of stairs.

He wasn't hurt on either occasion and continued to be an rear end.

I don't feel bad about any of it either.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I slit my wrists on my 23rd birthday. The story leading up to this is long, however the souring of a ~4 year relationship was big. Before I did it I wish I could have checked the internet and learned that it can take three to four hours to bleed out. :themoreyouknow:

I had to go to the ER in an ambulance and have stitches sewn in and refused to let them contact my family. Once they were finished I convinced them let me call a cab to take me home, where I lived alone.

Only a couple of my friends who I never see anymore found out about it. I was living on my own and didn't (don't) talk a lot, so it wasn't all that hard to hide. For the past five years I have been dealing with hiding the scars the stiches and cuts made. I work in an IT office job so long-sleeved shirts are the norm anyway.

The thing I feel bad about is that when I failed, I said to myself, "well things will get better" lalala. However in the 5 or so years following this, thing have steadily gotten worse and I think I was wrong, (about the living part).

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been trying to think of something worth confessing for awhile, and I finally thought of two things.

When I was 10 I found a used condom on the ground and didn't know what it was and picked it up. My friend laughed his rear end off at me.

Only like a year later I took a poo poo at another friend's house and when I flushed it didn't go down (thankfully it didn't go up). I said I had to leave. I've since bribed the 2 people who know about to never tell anybody.

This thread is possibly the best I've ever seen. Keep on rocking.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I know this is deranged but I spent most of my adolescence trying to catch my little sister in the nude. It could best be described as an excercise as a secret agent as I attempted to construct elaborate situations to place myself within view of her in the buff. This included hiding in closets, peeking in windows, climing the side of the house (rockery), and barging into her room. We were a year apart and I thought she was the hottest girl alive for a very long time.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once sucked off four guys in 20 minutes at an adult theater. I only left because I ran out of money to feed the video player. I would have kept on going if I'd had more cash.

My wife left me after I confessed I was bisexual. But I still want her. Mostly for sex. The sex was great.

I, apparently like many others, have posed in online chats as a young girl to attract the creepiest people for cybersex.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm worth a little over $2,500,000.

Despite that, I live in a tiny studio apartment, drive lovely cars, and work full time in a rather lovely job. My girlfriend doesn't know, though sometimes she gets suspicious if I drop too much money on clothes, food or *hobbies* too quickly. I make her think I'm living paycheck to paycheck.

I love her and don't see us ever breaking up... But I just know telling her the truth would change things and I keep telling myself I'm not ready for that.

I also harbor a secret fantasy of buying another big house and banging hot greedy sluts who only like me for my money, "Hef" style. (Note: I know I'd never actually do this.)

Oh, if you've had mint tea from *large U.S. tea company*, at least a portion of the mint came from farms I own.

Confession number two: My "rather lovely job" is at the much maligned RealNetworks.

I tried to retire from working several years ago, but just spent the daytime bored/drunk/playing video games in my living room. The stress here at Real is more valuable to me than the money.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I dated this girl about for a few months a couple of years ago. Near the end of the relationship I found that she was cheating on me. I felt hurt and broke up her with her a few days later.

A few years later I saw her at a bar, we were talking at that point and I really didn't have much hard feelings for her. She told that she got raped by some guy who gave her rophynol, or some poo poo like that, and raped her. I acted like I cared, I huged her, I consoled her etc.

In reality, I didn't give a poo poo. I felt that the bitch deserved it for cheating on me.

Also, I think I'm a budding alcoholic.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think all the people who offer to be friends to that one girl who wrote some stuff about being raped in a hotel room or something absolutely hilarious. I'm convinced 95% are hoping for some e-vagina and the rest just wanted an excuse to post something. Seriously, who wants to be friends with someone when you know they'll just flood you with emo stories.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I get sexual gratification from wearing diapers and I'm %99.999 sure that it's because when I was younger I had a medical problem with struggling to control my bowels, so I had lovely underwear a lot. My parents would punish me, by grounding me, or sending me to my room, and ultimately threatened to put me back in diapers. I was so scared of wearing diapers to school, because I was already teased a lot, and diapers would've made it a billion times worse. Just the thought of the mockery was enough to freak me out. Now it really pisses me off that I would still be mocked for wearing diapers for something that a stupid parental misunderstanding put in me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was absolutely crushed that I got only 2 AIM Messages from the "Post your AIM Name" thread, and NOT A SINGLE PHONECALL from the "Post your phone number" thread. I always hope that some awesome girl will pop out of nowhere and it will just click and lots of love and awesomeness will ensue.

I'm 24 years old and I'm terrified of the dark. Not the normal "omg its dark" scared, but seriously loving scared to hell when it's dark. If I get home from wherever, and it's dark I'm always expecting the earth to split open or some terrible demon hiding behind the next corner. I can't even go the short way from my room to the kitchen without turning on EVERY LIGHT on the way there.

I'm also terrified of everything in the sea. I hate swimming in the open sea. I'm always scared to death that some huge mutant octopuss or shark or whatever will come up from below me and pull me to certain death. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

One time shopping at a grocery store I had trouble finding my mum and I starting sweating and panicking. I almost cried because I couldn't stop freaking out. The store is tiny. I'm 16.
When I can't find something in a store, my face gets hot, I sweat, have trouble breathing and totally freak out in my head. I have no idea why, but I just sorta want to break down.
When I feel lost out at an amusement park I don't have this problem. But in a store I do.
I'm afraid to walk to the post office a few houses up from me because of a creepy trucker honking his horn at me.
I think it's ridiculous I can't walk aroundin my tiny neighborhood without worrying about getting raped. I live in the middle of suburbia.
I'm also a girl.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I get severly depressed over my lack of success on the SA Forums. No matter in which forum I post a thread it always fails. I'd love to be part of FYAD but I just don't "get it". It intimidates me to the point where I don't even read it.

I feel inferior to everyone on SA, despite the fact that I have a very nihilistic and elitist attitude in real life, telling myself I'm better than everyone. Reading threads on here makes me realize how terribly boring and pathetic my life is and how, deep down inside, I seriously hate it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in 7th grade, I was your typical rear end in a top hat middle schooler. I was popular ONLY in school. Outside of school, the amount of friends could be counted on one hand. Maybe two. I don't remember, I just know the people I was "friends" with DURING school hours, would probably never talk to me outside of school.

Anyway that's not the point. One morning at our bus stop, a bunch of 8th graders convinced me, without much of a challenge, to spell out "gently caress U" on this person's driveway, using the mulch that alligned the different plants around the house. Well, I did it, of course. And when the bus came, there it was. "gently caress U" spelled out very large on the entire driveway.

The next morning as we are waiting for the bus, someone who frequently passed by our bus stop, and let us pet the dog he was walking, told us that whoever did that should be ashamed of themselves, blah blah, that whole thing. I find out during this scolding, that the only person that lived in that house was a little old lady, that upon seeing the message left on her driveway... cried.

Needless to say, I didn't feel one ounce of remorse back then. Now, I don't regret much. It's stupid to live life having lots of regrets. But if there's one thing I DO regret, it's that I did what I did. I wish I hadn't have been so stupid... But hey. I was in Middle School.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I desperately want to die and have made plans to end my life within the next 6 months. I have severe depression which probably has something to do with the fact I have no social life whatsoever and everything I have in my life has been handed to me on a plate. I am incredibly weak and lack any sort of ability to relate to what other people are feeling. I also seem to be unable to communicate properly - especially with my family members.

To be honest, I don't think I even want to get better judging by the fact I rarely take my meds. I think the label of "depression" lets me get away with quite a lot of frankly pathetic terrible poo poo that I otherwise would be punished for. The thought of having to be a responsible self-sufficient adult terrifies me and I think that I would rather do anything than face up to it.

BTW, sorry for the lovely e/n confession.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In highschool I had an affair with my boss, a 30-year old married woman with 2 kids. She got pregnant, had an abortion, and I still feel really bad about it all the time. Oh, also when her husband confronted me about it I tried to kill myself but failed, and he still tries to run me off the road with his pickup truck if he sees me in town.

While I was dating an ex-girlfriend I had sex with my roommate's sister twice and his girlfriend once. I also hosed some other random girl on the night that I met my ex because I was bored. She never found out about any of it (and neither did he) but now that she's gone I really miss her. I feel more bad because of what I did to her than what I did to him, and I still live with him and she's long gone.

I'm a raging alcoholic and it depresses me and is destroying my body but I don't honestly see myself stopping. I briefly switched to prescription painkillers but they make it so I can't poo poo, so I'm back on booze.

I'm gregarious and affable but I hate my job and pretty much bullshit my way through work because I'm not really qualified in any way for what I am being paid for. I'm essentially being paid to be the office funnyman.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I am 22 years old, and this is my first formal confession.

When I was 10 or so, I was sifting through a drawer at my grandparents' house and stumbled onto a $5 bill. Having no idea what it was there for, but thinking $5 was a lot of money, and seeing that it was in a drawer that seemed rather neglected, I slipped it into my pocket. I think I used it to buy a pack of Marvel cards or something equally stupid.

Now that my grandpa and step-grandma are divorced, with my grandpa living in a rest home and my step-grandma moving back in with her family, where she often complains about having to do occasional mundane chores like taking out the trash, I look back and feel somewhat guilty that I stole $5 from them all that time ago, but not guilty enough to visit, call, or write. They've degenerated to a state where it is creepy to visit them.

I know I'm supposed to respect my elders, but they seem somehow subhuman these days, and seeing them reminds me of how far a person can deteriorate. I sometimes wonder if it's cruel on society's part that officials were obligated to intervene on my grandpa's two suicide attempts.

I feel more sorry to my grandparents circa 10 years ago for that $5 than I do to them now.

I would probably make this into a really awesome e/n topic about the dramatic deterioration of the living conditions my grandparents were in up until their divorce, and go into things like how my grandpa used to wipe his rear end and stick the toilet paper underneath his armchair, but I really am embarassed about the $5, and if the thread was successful at all, every time it was buoyed back to the top of the list, I'd just be hit with a fresh wave of guilt about that $5.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

1 month ago the mother of my daughter, kicked me out because she had been seing someone else. I knew she had cheated on me multiple times, but I didnt leave. I had been miserable for over 2 years with her, but wouldnt leave because I promised everyone I would never abandon her or my daughter.

I havent thought about, and dont even really remember what my Ex and daughter look like anymore, and I dont miss either of them. I send money, but use the excuse thats it's too hard for me to come back right now, just so I dont have to go. I get the feeling my hatred for my ex is clouding my judgement, and I will start to miss my daughter, and go see her soon. I hope..

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

On a family holiday last year I was swimming in the holiday resort's swimming pool. I got talking to a girl there and thought she was cute, I was sure we were bonding quite well so I asked her if she'd like to hang out for the duration of the holiday, she thought it was a great idea and we exchanged room and phone details.

The next day we met up and went swimming again, I was just starting to come down with a nasty cold and I couldn't stop sneezing. I thought it would be best if I kept to the edges and sneezed in to the guttering so I didn't spread snot everywhere, just as I was making my way across the pool I sneezed with such force that my ears made that popping sound, it felt like I twisted my testicles and pulled the muscle between my rear end and balls, and I projectile squirted horrible yellow watery poop like was explained in the GBS thread not too long ago.

I was terribly ashamed and ran straight back to the hotel, the girl phoned and called by many times but I couldn't face up to her, as much as I thought she was amazing I just couldn't face it. I still have her number and consider phoning every single day but I can't muster the courage to do it.What the hell is up with FYAD? I mean.. half SA hates them, and the other half think they're just super funny comic geniuses who poo poo gold.
I haven't seen anything fun-worthy in there yet, they all seem like beetle-browed, uneducated, internet tough-guy morons. Who the gently caress bases an entire forum off of "clever" one line replies and stupid catchphrases?
I don't know what fyad's deal is, and I don't know who does know. What the gently caress?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been with my boyfriend for several years now, and I've never once had an orgasm with him. He was my first and I started to fake it because he would ask why it wasn't good for me. Now I can never tell the truth because it would hurt him so much, but it's so frustrating. I can only get off by masturbating, and sometimes I fantasize about what it would be like to have mindblowing sex with someone with a bigger dick, that could last longer then a minute or two. I feel so guilty, but it's true... we're almost definitely going to get married, too.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am the girl with a crush on you, cams. I really like your posts in GBS and it makes me sad that you usually post in SAS and Games. You are way too hot to be a gamer.

I already have a boyfriend but I still enjoy looking at your profile picture every now and then. I want to IM you and maybe I will some time. If/when I do you'll never know it was I who wrote this confession.

P.S. This isn't a joke or a trick but I am having fun. Aren't you?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My ex-girlfriend was clingy & over-emotional, but goddamn she was a great gently caress. She loved it when I jacked it right next to her so she could feel my hand as I did it, and loved to be woken up with surprise sex. Waking up to a blowjob wasn't uncommon either. Completely submissive & even called me master, sometimes outside of the bedroom. We'd have marathon sex weekends all the time.

I dumped her, because as great as that was, I can't deal with overly-clingy people & sex was all we really did. I'm now with a girl I love more than anything, and the sex is great with her, but she's not nearly as freaky as the ex and I'm afraid I might scare her or think I'm disrespecting her if I mention that I like such things

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Highschool was horribly tramatic time for me. When I was a sophmore we had guy in my class die, I was so happy he was dead because he was the biggest cock sucker to ever walk the planet. I told one of my friends that "I was glad he was dead." of course this went around my high school like a wild fire and by the end of the day I had death threats taped to my locker. I started lying and telling everyone that I didn't really mean it and they belived me after awhile, however I'm glad you died you mother fucker and I hope you burn in hell.

I also had a girlfriend of 1 year that broke my heart and turned me into a total rear end in a top hat. I went on a spree where I would log into AOL, go to the AOLinKC chat room and pick up women. It was surprisingly easy to do. I took 3 girls virginity and then never called them again (despite telling them that I would).

At the end of '01 my cousin who I grew up with fell off a 80foot bridge and somehow lived. The story how he fell off is long and I don't feel like repeating it, however he was really hosed up after the fall. Now my cousin was also a really athletic guy and the fall basically cancelled all that. I called him about 4 days after he fell and I was totally hosed up on DXM talking to him, I don't even remember the conversation. I do remember telling him that I would call him back and then I never did. I was too wrapped up in me. 4 months later my cousin shot himself in the head. I often wonder if I had just called him more would he be alive. Even 3 years after he died it's still hard for me to talk about it. Right now I'm bawling my eyes out.

I also have dressed up in my Moms lingere and jerked off before (glad to see I'm not the only one). On a dare playing truth or dare I gave my Dog a BJ. One of the people there swore to secrecy and then told my whole school. I was mocked for this from about 8th grade till I graduated high school.

I almost killed myself 6 times in the 8th and 9th grade. I went so far as to take my Dads rifle, put it in my mouth and put my toe on the trigger. I closed my eyes and I pushed down on the trigger, however in my depression I forgot to click the safety. As I reached down to click the safety I heard the garage door open so I put my Dads gun up and I went back to my room. Oddly enough the next day my Dad sold that gun (the only gun in the house) to a co-worker. This is the first time I've told anyone about this. It's wierd to think that I almost killed myself and that only divine intervention saved my life.

For any Goon that has contemplated suicide let me tell you this, as appealing as wishing you would die may sound you have no idea how much anguish is left behind on those you leave behind. For the Goon who just bought the gun FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T loving DO IT. For the Goon who said he's going to kill himself before he turns 25 my heart goes out to you man. Life may seem lovely but I'm a firm beliver in the one person for everyone theroy. It may be hard but you will find that girl that loves you and treats you like you should be treated.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I would love to have a girlfriend, if just to hold. But I'm fat and, although not ugly, I do nothing about losing weight even though my parents offered me money to lose weight. 5k dollars to be exact. And we arent wealthy, either. Upper middle class, I'd say.

Man, I have to get back on a diet. Southbeach probably. But I love cookies and ice cream so much. God I'm loving pathetic. I've had chicks tell me I was cute before (back when I was skinnier), so I know that if I lost weight and became ripped that I would have a decent chance at finding a girlfriend... but it takes so much loving work. I hope I'm ready for the time commitment, and soon, because although I'm pretty tall, I'm 347 pounds. God drat, if I lost 100 pounds I'd be ripped, and cute. I should do it. I think I am going to do it. Hopefully.

Egg me on, encourage me, please.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think that I see plenty of things that aren't there. People always look at me strange when I talk about certain things. I think I lost my grip on reality, but I don't know if I ever had a grip on it to begin with. I also get drunk on Listerine and take sleeping pills just to be able get some peace and quiet.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I spied on my stepsister while she was taking a shower, I didn't see anything but an rear end before i stopped for fear of being caught/ my conscience kicked in. I've also fantasized about her, simply because it turns me on because its wrong. I always feel like complete poo poo afterwards but when you're loving horny it doesn't seem to matter. But, sometimes we seem to have moments of chemistry.

I'm pretty liked by other girls and have plenty of oppurtunities.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My life has been spiralling out of control since my ex-girlfriend broke up with me in January, a week before my birthday. I have since been laid off, most of my friends decided they hate me, and every girl I have expressed any interest in has expressed none for me.

About 2 weeks after my girlfriend (my first and only girlfriend ever, by the way) broke up with me after 2.5 years, which she did over AIM hilariously enough, I got a pretty bad scare where it was thought that I may have had stomach cancer. I had lost a ton of weight in the past 2 months, and began having liquid shits several times a day. They ran several tests and determined that it was PROBABLY only really bad acid reflux, but I have since taken medication for that and not gained the weight back, so I secretly worry that I was misdiagnosed. However, I never told my parents or anyone else about this because I didn't want to worry them if it was nothing, so I can't go back to the doctor without it showing up on their insurance forms (I'm still in college) to get it checked out further.

Before I asked out my girlfriend, I had never had the balls to ask out a girl. After she broke up with me, I was destroyed and went on a mission to get a new girlfriend as soon as possible. I have asked out three girls that I thought were pretty cool, but all have shut me down severely. I don't think I'm unattractive, but because I lost all this weight, I worried that the fact that I am very skinny contributed to their dislike of me, and have since started eating 4 or 5 meals a day and working out three days a week. In the 7 or 8 months since I started this, I have not gained one pound (which leads me back to the health concerns above, but also compounds my feeling about why girls won't go out with me).

There have been a few girls that have expressed interest in me (I think; I'm horrible at reading that stuff), but I go out of my way to find reasons that I shouldn't like them because I still think about my ex-girlfriend way too much for someone that claims to be over her. Also, because my only relationship ever lasted 2.5 years, I don't know how I'd be able to handle casual dating again.. I think all I want is a serious relationship.

Also, in June, I was laid off, and I have made no effort to get another job because I apparently hate working more than I hate not having money to do anything with. My friends have made fun of my joblessness since around mid-July, to the point that every time I see them, I know it will be brought up and I will want to literally kill them and myself over it (honestly, I have envisioned doing it with a large butcher knife from their kitchen). The only reason I go over there any more is because around mid-February, all my other close friends decided that, after my girlfriend broke up with me, I "changed like a wicked lot dude" and I haven't spoken to any of them since. I think the main reason is that my friend's girlfriend never liked me and she influenced him to also not like me.

I have honestly considered phony suicide attempts, purposely getting into car accidents, or purposely injuring myself somehow just to get the people that dislike me now back into my life. Writing this has made me cry, so it confirms my belief that it wasn't a confession, but instead a livejournal entry from someone who doesn't have livejournal.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

forgive me, father, for i have sinned and i've never confessed before:

- i recently failed one of the top universities of my country, just to get into a two-year program that in the end will get me a job where i will earn more than someone who got his master after five years at said university. and i somehow feel bad for that...

- i hosed my cousin when i was ten. she was thirteen and just read about the whole pregnancy thing and wanted to try it out. i didn't care, and still don't.

- my flatmate is the slobbiest and dirtiest person i've met in my entire life. he sleeps all day just to get up in the evening and watch teleshopping and porn all night and lives off money that he inherited. he's also feeling miserable and worthless all the time. i only live with him to amuse myself about his misery and drama when i have nothing to do. the only thing that keeps me from feeling bad about the whole situation, is knowing, that if he lived alone, he'd just drown in his own filth and would probably be found by the cops a few months after he died.

- i fisted my best female friend while she was in a relationship and feel really good about it, because everyone knows it but her boyfriend.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a few smaller confessions, so here goes:

I was friends with this guy 'Ryan' since about 4th grade. In the 6th grade, one night when he was sleeping over we found the Playboy channel. We both watched it and got so horny. When we went up to sleep, we still had boners... I think you know where this is going. Well, we basically just asked eachother 'You still hard?' and 'Wanna try?' Well, we did. It was horrible. We tried to suck eachothers cocks, but we both went limp. Then he tried to gently caress me in the rear end, and he got hard, but he couldnt get in, so after a while he went limp. We stayed friends for another year or so, I think.

We never spoke of that again, and whenever I came across him in school, I felt ashamed. Whenever we talked, there was always this underlying tension that I felt: did he tell his parents, or did he tell anyone? Is he gay? I still dont know this, and I have never told anyone about this, ever. It was extremely aukward to talk to him from then on. I dont think my parents ever suspected anything, even when I didnt want to be friends with him anymore. He went away to school in Kansas, and after a couple of years failed, and now hes back again. My mom and his mom were sort of friends throughout my a Ryan's friendship, and recently they got together for lunch one day.

I'd still like to know whether he's gay or not, just for curiosity's (lol) sake.

I never fooled around with any other guy other than him, but sometimes I think I might be bi, because when I watch porn, I sometimes think about what it would be like to gangbang a girl with other guys, or do a bukkake on a girl, or sometimes what a dick might feel like in my mouth. Haha

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When 9/11 happened, I was pretty loving happy, because something interesting was happened. this is how I am with any diaster. I don't know why. Even when my boyfriend told him mom might have cancer, I acted sad and worried, but part of me hoped she would so something interesting would be happening.

She didn't have cancer and I'm glad, but I'm a horrible person anyways.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A couple years ago, my significant other killed themself after I left them. Their best friend and family threatened to kill me. I've talked to most of their friends, and they're cool with me and know what hell my SO put me through before I finally left.
However, one of their friends is a goon, that I keep seeing in threads, and I'm terrified that he'll figure out who I am, and that he's on the "I'm going to kill you for taking away my friend" side.
They all know exactly where I live.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a Nuclear Electronics Technician/Reactor Operator (ETRO) in the United States Navy. I am one of the people responsible for operating the reactor plant on an operational national security asset.

The problem is that I memorized (crammed) all the information I needed to know to get through Naval Nuclear Power School and Prototype training. I don't really UNDERSTAND how the whole system works.

I'm horrified that something catastrophic will happen when I'm the one on watch and everyone on the boat will die.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've known this guy for about 7 years. However, I've only "known" him through the powers of the internet. He says we're best friends and he tells me all this stuff and blah blah blah great buddies for 7 years. BUT. I don't like him. He's annoying. He's stupid. He doesn't know how to type properly. He whines. He's the center of negativity. Wah Wah I don't have a girlfriend. Girls suck. Everyone is out to get him. Even me. Blah blah blah.

So why don't I just block this guy and move on? I keep him around for amusement. He says the stupidest things all the time. I go and tell my friends and show them his stupidity and they all laugh at him. Some of my friends hate him with a passion. We all make jokes at his expense and he has no idea about it.

I feel terribly bad about this though. I mean, really bad. Due to the fact I secretly make fun of this guy, I feel like I owe it to him to keep talking to him. It's stupid, I know. Plus, I'm honestly afraid he might hurt himself if I suddenly stopped talking to him. He's just that kind of guy, ya'know?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Apparently, my mom was raped. I know the man who did it, and I kinda want to kill him. I doubt I will, but I've seriously considered it.

I heard the people in the above apartment talking negatively about me today. I don't know them very well at all. This troubles me very deeply and I have no idea why. I'm going to try to be very nice to them from now on.

I cry myself to sleep sometimes. On several occasions, I've chugged a lot of whiskey alone in my dark room. I hate alcohol and getting drunk. For a few years (I've come out of it recently) the only thing keeping me from killing myself has been my intense hatred for suicidals.

These aren't the worst things I can think of. There's a lot more, which I don't even want to resurface in my head.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a pederast. I am a member of a 'boy lovers' site and jack off to photos of naked boys (age 10-16) every day.
I also work for a kids club and try to trick the boys in to taking off their shirts so I can jack off to it later.

I hate myself for it but it's something I can't control. I don't feel bad while I'm looking at the photos but do straight after. I've never touched a kid inappropriately but if I ever let the urges get the better of me, I would kill myself.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2005 23:39

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 12 or so, a friend and I used to pitch tents and camp in each others gardens, alternating each week, it was an adventure type deal. We'd stay up late and tell ghost stories, watch foxes and hedgehogs eat the food we'd leave out for them and such.

One night it was around 4am, I woke up and stumbled from the tent towards a bush to urinate. It was a dark night with next to no natural lighting so I placed each step carefully as to not step in the tray of mixed dog & cat food we had left out for the foxes, alas, I managed to stumble on something.

Now, you know when you walk up a flight of stairs then think there's an extra one at the top, you lose balance and fall harded than you really should? It was like that, I fell flat on my face and it happened so fast I had no time to react and extend my arms to break the fall, as I landed I noted the *THUMP* and a soft gentle screech... I wondered what had made the sound and after catching my breath I stood up and headed inside to find a torch, on returning to the garden I examined the area I had fallen.

After a few seconds looking around I noted a cat laying lifeless in the middle of the garden, I started to piece together what had happened - I had tripped on the cat, in its startled state it tried to run but I had fallen hard on it, squashing it. Distraught, I ran back to the tent and lay awake wondering who the cat belonged to, I pondered the situation then fell asleep.

When I woke up, my friend was in his sleeping bag crying, I asked what was wrong and he explained that his cat had been killed. I asked what had happened and he said it was the first thing he saw as he left the tent and that it may have been that it was eating the food we left for the foxes and a fox attacked it. As he talked to me I looked in to his eyes and could see his soul crumbling, I felt horrible and didn't have the heart to tell him what really happened.

To this day he still doesn't know it was me that bought his cat to a premature end

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:
The only reason I have been reading this thread is to see if my ex posted something. I want him to admit to being a jerk and a bad person and then leave the forums for good. He got to keep our movie collection, I should get to keep the forums.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

After my first girlfriend broke up with me, I posted an ad on a college website asking for a sidekick, you know, someone to go to the bars with or something like that. The next morning, I get this im:
i'll be your sidekick
i want to have sex. not necessarily with you, but with someone... Life would be so much better if i just had someone to have sex with on a regular basis. Do you ever feel this way? I do. all the time. all the time and i mean it. I'm just tired of being a sweet little virgin. It just sucks. It does and you know it. you know you know it. If you don't know it now you know you have known it sometime. Why does it suck so bad? I really don't think i'm terrible. Maybe I am. I just can't talk to boys. It is so hard. I'm cuter than lots of girls that get tons more rear end than i do. Why does this happen? Why are loud people so attractive? Quiet people are so much more sexually frustrated. They are. They really are. They are probably a lot better in bed. well, in case you are wondering... you don't know me and i don't know you . i just saw your ad on the jolt and responded
________________________

So, like every redblooded American boy, I responded. I talked to her online, and we arranged to meet at a local park. I told my friends, and they kept on saying I was going to be gang raped or something. I went anyway.

So, I get there, and I am approached by this, well, thing. She had a hunchback, had hair where there was not suppose to be hair, and I think there was a problem with her left eye. She also had the terrible voice- she whispered, but with a mountain hick accent. So, I spend the next two hours with her in the park, and I approach the topic of sex- hey, I was horny. We arrange to go to the park a few days from that point, but I chicken out. She then became obsessed with me and stalked my friends, but that is another confession...

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I know a guy that is very very gay. When I listen to him talk it's like I want to run around and suck a million dicks because the gayness that comes off of him is so strong it breaks my usually strong conviction to not gargle nuts like gumdrops. He's a fat rear end and wears tight clothes. He's involved in acting drama. He's that gay.

But he says he isn't gay.

He might be right because he uses his gayness to suck the attention of every female ever towards him, taking a lot of freedom to touch and rub to communicate like an insect. But I'm still 100% sure he's gay because he talks like he has no idea how a woman's sexuality works.

I hate him for it, does that make me a homophobe?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was about 16 and 17, I would rub my step-sister's bras over my penis and jerk off. I felt bad at the time, but they were the greatest orgasms I'd ever had.

Now I just feel horrible.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love my fiance and I know I'll be happy with him, but sometimes I just want to go to a bar and hook up with some random good looking guy. I'm really hot and I know it would be too easy. Don't get me wrong. The sex I get now is great. But I used to be kind of slutty in college because I liked the thrill of the chase and the various cocks I encountered. Once I tried to tally the number of guys I've hosed but I lost count at around 20.

My fiance doesn't know any of this and I don't think he'd care even if he did know, but it bothers me anyway.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The female that I feel closest to is 13. I wouldn't ever pursue a relationship with her (not pedo lol), but it's pretty depressing to think that I can't relate to women my own age.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Jesus... where to start. I will break up my confessions by catagory: drugs/crime and sex

drugs/crime:

I was a hired hand for a huge drug dealer who dealt solely in ecstacy. This all took place in 2001.

1. I used to "work" (deal and transport drugs, subvert competition, etc) with 2 guys who we'll call K and G. K was a white kid, fresh out of high school, with a temper matched only by his ability to eat pills. G was a rather large and built black man who now reminds me of mike tyson today. our employer hated coccaine dealers, and sent us out regularly to gently caress with them. On one fateful night in july, I stomped a mans head in until he died while K & G held him down. It is the only time I have ever killed a man, and it haunts me to this day. the coke dealer had supposedly killed a business assoiate of my employer, so I was just trying to make him proud. He bought me a camaro for it... I left it on the side of a highway in texas and never looked back.

2. I watched K & G rape the 12 year old daughter of a coccaine dealer who ratted out one of our runners to the cops. When they finished, we stole everything of value in his house and killed his cat. Not a proud moment.

3. I watched a 14 year old chinese kid working for a rival dealer get his pinky cut off with a pocket knife once, and was instructed to take him out in the middle of nowhere and leave him there. I drive him to the hospital and then grabbed what I could out my apartment and left town, leaving my car on the highway and hitching the rest of the way to my new home. To this day I still look over my shoulder everywhere I go, in fear that one of my old partners is still looking for me.

sex:

1. When I was 10 and my little sister was 7, we used to "kiss", which was the act of taking off our clothes and rubbing up against eachother... immulating the porn we found in my fathers sock drawer. It wasn't until I was 12 that we started experimenting with oral sex. this has given me a huge fetish for incest, and rape, since I wanted to gently caress her so bad and she would never let me. I would jack off thinking about crawling into her bed and taking her quietly with my hand over her mouth. this led to my next problem.

2. At the age of 19, I visited my father for the first time in years since our falling out when I was 14. My little sister has blossomed into a young woman, and was AMAZINGLY hot. Old feeling came flooding back, and I found myself jacking off in the bathroom one night thinking about her. so, I crawled into bed with her and woke hr up. We talked for a while about our childhood, and when it came to the subject of our sexual deviancy, we agreed that it had always turned us on. I had sex with my sister that night for the one and only time. Family get togethers are extremely uncomfortable now, and sometimes it seems like we purposefully avaoid eachother. I regret loving up my relationship with my sister, as she was my best friend as a child.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate being white. White is the ugliest skin color.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate most of my friends. I find them to be worthless people with nothing to offer the world on any intellectual level. I only hang out with them out of habit. And by habit, I am referring to my burgeoning alcoholism, for which I am strangely unapologetic, even though I have ruined countless relationships with actual friends and girlfriends due to my devotion to the bottle. I can realistically see myself re-enacting Nicolas Cage's part in Leaving Las Vegas someday.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

There was a girl who had a big crush on me when she was 15 and I was 18. I used her and let her suck my dick but I refused to go all the way with her. She wanted to lose her virginity to me but I refused. So she had sex with another guy to make me jealous, but of course that didn't work. She was convinced that she was in love with me, so I used that to my advantage and used her for blowjobs and sometimes sex for the next few years. If I just wanted to see some titties she'd be glad to drive over and let me see her titties.

At one point she got married and stopped talking to me. She said she didn't trust herself around me. Which was a very valid concern as it turned out when her husband went six months without touching her. She turned up at my door and wanted me to comfort her, so I did. We had sex every few months for a couple of more years. Every time she would feel very guilty and wouldn't call me again until she needed to get laid.

The last time I saw her she said she just wanted to talk and be friends. I had her clothes off in five minutes. After we had sex and she got dressed she started crying and said that she had been using me and she was so sorry. She said it wasn't fair to me. I agreed and put all of the blame on her even though I've been the one using her this whole time. I told her that it was entirely her fault that she had cheated on her husband with me at least a dozen times. I told her that she should be ashamed. She cried really hard and left. She hasn't called me since. Maybe she's done cheating on him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've lurked at SA for 4 years.

I worked at the OEOB, and stole two "W" keys from the keyboards to our computers before Dubya was sworn in.

Also, Sen. Kerry really did gently caress around with Alexandra Polier and Pete Maroney covered for him. I know this for a fact, and so do at least two reporters that I'm aware of. I know because I've read Maroney's emails to Alexandra. I considered forwarding all of them to the Edwards campaign in exchange for a job.

I've paid for 5 abortions in as many years, none of which have been for my girlfriend whose parents are supporting me.

I might be the only person to have ever jerked of to furry porn in the Russell Building.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I put up a profile on Adultfriendfinder.com that includes two pictures of my erect dick. It's just an average sized dick, but the perspective shots make it look a bit bigger and thicker than it really is. Consequently I get lots of winks and e-mails from disgusting male fat bodies and old men mainly but some quite fit and hot looking guys. I revel in leading them on, making them think I'm going to meet them and then suddenly not responding to any of their e-mails. Some of the hotter guys I wouldn't mind meeting (I'm bisexual, about 70/30 straight/gay) to suck down a load from, but I can find that at local clubs if I wanted to.

My goal is really to find a couple and steal the guy's wife after a few meetings, because it's almost guaranteed I'd be better in the sack than he is, and then dump her because she's a filthy, unfaithful whore. This is actually harder than I thought it might be, because most of the couples are one of: a) a male, m-f transgender "wife" interested in kinky sex, b) average to hot looking couples seeking female sex partners (mostly servants for the more dominating male in the relationship, but a significant number with really hot and bisexual wives), or c) disgusting fatso couples.

I don't even know why I am interested in doing this. It's incredibly mean. But the very thought of success makes me giggle like a little schoolgirl. If I get lucky enough to score an encounter or two here, even if I don't manage to gently caress the relationship up, I may migrate to local singles-nights at swinger's clubs and try my hand there. That'll have to wait until after what I call the "freshman rush" is over with, though. I love living in a college town.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When my grandfather died of cancer, my family all said we would donate money to a cancer charity.

I instead donated the money which I set aide for this to a charity that looks after injured coyotes because I felt more sorry for the coyotes after seeing a picture of a mom and her pups.

I felt more compassion towards a coyote than I did towards a man who always brought me back presents when he came to stay and who left things to me in his will.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

For about 2 years now I've been horribly attracted to Futanari porn (Dickgirl hentai). I'm in no way homosexual, nor would I even consider touching another guy. Hell, I can't even stand to watch guys having sex with a girl in a porn. The mere fact that there is dick in the frame turns me off completely. I don't even like she-male porn. The thought that the dick is attached to a live woman is almost nauseating.

I have no problem, however, when that dick is attached to an impossibly attractive, drawn girl. I have probably close to 10 GB of said hentai on my computer, and see no end in sight to my collection.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

- When I was 12 or 13, I went biking from grandma's house, found a nice field nearby and decided to rub one off. I got back on bicycle and needed to rub off second in the middle of the road. I could see few older girls, who stopped and just watched. I couldn't understand why. Finished it, and went home, past them. They had weirdest look in their eyes...

- I almost killed our cat, that was brought home few days ago. It nearly choked thanks to paper I had tied up on a string and soaked with milk, so that she'd play with it, and I could get good photo.

- I've been caught masturbating by parents more than once, and yet I still do it. I've been jerking off in sauna for few years weekly, and ain't gonna stop anytime soon.

- My only kiss happened at 9th grade graduation party, with really drunk girl.

- I've been picked on from 1st to 9th grade, it stopped since I went to another school. I have no confidence remaining.

- I enjoy bubblegum pop, and love minor porn. Boys or girls, all good, if their puberty has begun. I'm 18, m.

- I've been skipping school every other day as far as I can remember, and somehow managed to complete all courses so far. When I attended to school, I was doing better than some average kid though.

- All furries need to be shot on sight.

- I have very small circle of friends and 'people i say "hi" to'.

- Everything unneccesarily cheerful should be punished by death.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a fetish for trannies. I have hosed, and been hosed by, 4 T-girls in the last year (thanks craigslist). One of them was a porn star.

I'm not attracted to guys, but there's something about a girl with a cock that really gets me off. Also, they have to be passable (a guy in a wig won't do it).

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I downloaded horrible animal porn and put it on my friend's computer so he would get in trouble.

His parents threw him out of the house and I didn't let him stay with me.

I don't even know why.

Furthermore, I also wanked to the Japanese double D cup girl.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Major confession:I am a 40 year old woman who reads GBS. (To respond in advance, I am neither hot, nor do I want to have sex with you.) Also, I must confess to sending postcards from Sacramento to Goons who posted their addresses publicly on a "let's be penpals" thread. Hope I didn't freak them out too much.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

For a short, shameful peroid of time in my life, I watched so much Anime as an escape from my own dull life, that I had trouble thinking straight. For short ten second peroids during the day I would actually be worried about "getting into Tokyo U," or other concerns of the main character of Love Hina.
Since then, I've forever shunned anime as the source of retardation in the world, and I don't feel guilty making fun of Anime kids.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me, for I have sinned.

I was made fun of in middle and high school. I hated the kids that mentally tortured me. I vow that I will murder the leader of the clique. His name is "Tom" and he will die for his crimes against me and countless others. I've devised the perfect crime. I will succeed.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

"I always imagined that there was a girl out there just like me,
longing for somebody to just be with, and that they'd magically plop
into my life one day and we'd be happy together, but I'm slowly
begining to realize that this won't be the case, and I'm destined for
a life of solitude."

To the guy who said this, I wish I could meet someone like you. I'm
single, I'm lonely, and I just want someone to love. But my social
skills are terrible, I just can't talk to guys, so I don't see how
it'd ever happen.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I live in the NYC area and will never ever go to a NYC goon meet after seeing the photos. You couldn't pay me to hang out with you fucks, and even going to a restaurant with the group of you in Times Square would make me cower with embarrassment by being associated with you people. How about the next NYC goon meet takes place in NJ so you can stay out of my city.

That being said, I want to bang orangegenius every which way, but will never contact her because she probably gets 1000's of dweebs trying to pump her because she�s Asian, a goon, and Asian. Oh, and that poo poo with the creepy no-chin dude that stalked her at a goon meet was really funny.

I also think the Fauxtests and Robot protests are the lamest things I have ever seen.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

- I am a hot 20-year-old girl. I've had more than a handful of boyfriends and I'm pretty sure I can get sex whenever I want it. But I want to be hosed really really hard and can never muster the nerve to ask any of my boyfriends to do that. I also feel like they shouldn't be able to control themselves when they're on top of me (or behind me or whatever) and have to end up loving me really hard anyway. By posting this I can at least get turned on by imagining other goons fantasize about loving me that hard.

- I often get orgasms right before I pee and fantasizing about someone loving me when I really have to pee. It would feel so good.

- I want to have a real bare penis around me all the time for me to play with.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I lied to my girlfriend for 9 months about the fact I had sex with a previous girlfriend. I told her I was a virgin. I regretted the sex, because it's very important to me, and was to my new girlfriend. A month ago, she decided we should go on a break, and I finally told her the truth. It was a big deal, but we were in tears with eachother about being friends, and about how she needed to decide if she wanted to date me again, and we remained friends for two weeks until she suddenly stopped wanting to see me or talk to me at all.

She got a new boyfriend. Turns out he had video taped girls changing by hiding cameras in their closet and in his shoes. The fact he told her this up front makes her love him all the more. They've been dating two weeks and already tell eachother they love eachother. She had told me when we were dating that it bothered her that we said it too early to eachother. We had been dating a month and a half. This is two weeks they've been dating.

She refuses to speak to me. She does not want to be friends. She keeps lying to me and keeping things from me, and wants to be friends with everyone but me. I know she's doing all this to get back at me whether she knows it or not.

If the roles were reversed, I would have forgiven her. I know this because the girl I had sex with before her did the same thing to me.

She is 16. I am 18. I'm sure her age has something to do with this.

I didn't beat her, hurt her, or treat her bad. I put up with all the stupid rules and restrictions she'd place on me. I did everything for her. I made one mistake, one simple mistake, and I lose the best thing in my life. My best friend. She said she would have gotten back together for me if I hadn't lied to her.

There are so many couples who go through so much bigger and more horrible bullshit and work out fine.

And because of all this I feel guilty beyond belief and don't know what to do.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Even though I signed up for the forums a year and a half ago and browse them almost every single day, I haven't made a single post. I know how not to be a stupid poster by now, but I fear getting banned because I have arachnophobia and never want to see the spidercock image.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I tried auto-erotic asphyxiation. I wanted to see what the fuss was about so I did it once. I didn't like it but the rope I used felt really good on my skin, like really really good. I'm not sure what it was made of but now every time I whack my nuts I rub it underneath my balls and shove it in my rear end.

I guess I should have been cleaning it between uses because I got a nasty infection in my anus. My girlfriend never figured out how I got it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I do plenty of things that would really piss me off if someone did them to me. The one that comes to mind most easily is I don't pick up my dog's crap when I'm out on a walk. I just leave it in people's yards and hope they weren't looking, because then I'd feel really bad. I know I should, but I just don't do it.

I have to make a small mental effort to even put people on the same level as myself. I took money from a small arcade's coin dispenser when it started spitting some quarters out. It was about two dollars. It would've been the easiest thing in the world to just tell them the machine wasn't working and give them the money back. I didn't need the money, but I just kept it.

When my family and I were heading out, my dad gave me ten bucks for me and my ten-year-old brother's expenses. Until he noticed it, I was just instinctively planning on keeping it and spending it myself. My brother had like twenty bucks to his name and no real income, while I had ~700 and a (summer) job. I split the money once he noticed it, but my natural reaction was to just hide it from him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I jacked off to that naked picture of Violet from the Incredibles posted in the cartoon porn thread.

Twice.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

"Maybe he isn't your son. http://www.mauryshow.com/ Are you a man accused of fathering one or more children? If you don't believe these children are yours and want to take a paternity test call the Maury Show at 1-888-45-MAURY, that's 1-888 45-MAURY."

Oh he's mine.

I was in a clusterfuck of a codependant relationship for 10 years. She kept the kid when we split up.
After that I abandoned everything: job, house, bills, car. I just up and split and moved away. Changed my identity, too. No one I knew up until last year has the slightest clue where I am or even if I'm still alive.

The guilt literally tears me apart sometimes. But then, sometimes it doesn't. My life has gotten so so much better in so many ways since I decided to split.

Sometimes I think about writing the whole thing off as a horrible mistake and never contacting my son ever again.

Sometimes I think of myself as some noble and tragic figure, like the estranged fathers from the TV shows.

In reality I'm just a self-absorbed irresponsible loving deadbeat who is doing irreparable damage to his child on a daily basis.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 01:15

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

Rumsfoord came out of the closet to say:
Just a question for pimpsolo:

Why are some confessions not being posted? What makes you skip them?

I'm almost avoiding all posts that are one sentace(edit, c'mon, you know I didn't really think that's how you spell sentance.) They're too likely to be fake, and they're not interesting and they've been beaten like a dead horse, or whatever the gently caress I'm talking about. I don't post two sentance "confessions" that are "omg Rumsfoord i have huge crush on, and he doesnt know it" because I'm getting way too many of these, and they're not entertaining to anyone but the person they're about and they're probably fake.

If they're more than two sentances, not about a mod, and doesn't fall into the forumla I stated above, I'd be surprized if it wasn't posted, I'm not accidently missing emails, I have read every single one up to the point of... well, unread ones, if you know what I mean.

Pimpsolo fucked around with this message at 02:28 on Aug 25, 2005

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 02:10

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been planning to shoplift stores in strip malls by taking mechandise I want, throwing it away, then coming back and snatching it from the dumpster at 3AM.

It's a good plan but I'm not slick enough to bin that poo poo without getting caught. I don't know what they would do if they caught me doing it but I know I can't make it work.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I like young girls. Not in a sexual way, but I think there is something magical about a purely innocent 10-13 year old girl. I think that when they finally have sex with a guy something inside them dies and that magic is gone.
Similarly, I find lesbian sex to be a perfectly natural and beautiful thing. I guess because it doesn't involve a big stupid male ruining everything. I actively seek out information/comics/movies/whatever on lesbianism because I like to understand the lifestyle as much as I can and I find it sweet. I especially like something that is written by a "real" lesbian, and not some stupid sex story written to get guys horny.

I am a big stupid male.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In college, I had an online relationship with a girl who IM'd me out of the blue. She was my age, went to a rival school, and lived in the same town. We had cybersex within a couple hours of first talking with each other, and she was good. This went on for three weeks with her constantly making excuses for why she couldn't meet up with me. I wasn't just in love; I was obsessed. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Finally she confessed that she wasn't 21, didn't go to the crosstown school, and wasn't a pre-law student. She was 15, living two states over, and a freshman in high school. Also, she wasn't a slim brunette sorority girl, she was a spunky, slightly overweight redhead. And a virgin. It should have stopped there.

Instead, I became more intrigued and we continued to talk and flirt and have e-sex that got really, really dirty, as much or more so than with my previous girlfriend who was already a dirty slut in bed. Many plans were talked about for meeting up and getting a hotel room, but we never followed through. We did meet up when she visited relatives, and made out on the beach. I felt terribly dirty and guilty but couldn't pull myself away. I should also mention that this entire time I had a girlfriend (who was stupid and sucked in the sack).

Finally, I got an email from one of my exes, who somehow had the password to my email account and had been reading some of these exchanges. She made me promise not to talk to the girl again and threatened to turn me in to authorities. So we cut it out, I closed the email account, and didn't speak to her again.

Until this January. On a whim I fired off an email to her last known email address and she responded, which was a total fluke since she was about to close the account. Now, she's a freshman in college. We started out with friendly chat which soon escalated into her stripping and using her vibrator on herself. I have a girlfriend and she has a boyfriend. Again, we almost made plans to meet and gently caress but decided against it. I didn't even get any naked pics out of the deal, but plenty of hot jack off material.

I finally realized what a lovely place this was leading us to, so I stopped talking to her. Until last week.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once had incredibly strong feelings for a girl way out of my league; we were close friends, but nothing would ever happen between us where the feelings would be mutual. Eventually, I told her how I felt.

She acted sick and disgusted, like she was too good for me. She hung up on me, blocked me on all of her screen names, and avoided me in school.

Two months went by and she never said a word to me. I couldn't handle the rejection so I ran her dog over with my car and left it on her porch in the middle of the night.

Sorry Brittany.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In 10th grade I had access to the closed play props store room where I could spend time in an off period. Most of the time I did my homework there, but sometimes I would jerk like crazy and let it fly all over the props. Fake wine glasses, several female costumes, and a bunch of other stuff I don't even remember.

I went and saw the play that year where a few of the female costumes were used as well as the wine glasses. I didn't find it hot or funny just kind of weird that all that stuff was coated in my many-months old crusty jizz.

I also kept a log of what days I did it on so I could count them up at the end of the year, thinking I would do it the next years to try and beat that number. I didn't, probably because it was too stuffy in there anyway.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am the youngest of four children. When I was little, my mom used to cry to me about what horrible people my siblings were becoming. I would always comfort her, but instead of being a proper mother, she would do everything she could to make my life miserable.

She used to tease me about things I have and haven't done. She would tell her friends stories about how she knew I masturbated (I didn't) and found it darling to make me stand outside in the sun for two hours as still as possible so hummingbirds would try to eat my red hair. She used to challenge me to fights, and call me weak if I cried about anything. I am deathly afraid of spiders. She called them her friends and would put them in my room at night. I couldn't move or kill them because I was too afraid, and she said it was their home now so I had to live with them.

I wasn't allowed to see my friends. She told me they weren't really my friends, they were just using me. She would call their parents and tell lies to get them into trouble. She told me no one would love me because I started getting fat.

She would come into my room and scream at me about things I hadn't done, and she would hit me if I denied it. She used to tape notes on my door listing everything I've done wrong, everything she hates about me, what a disappointment I am, etc.

But everytime she cried, I would try to comfort her.

She left the country a lot on vacation. Always on or around my birthday, never telling me. She would wake me up at 5AM and tell me that I'm going to my dad's for two weeks because she and her boyfriend are going to China/Italy/France/wherever. She would bring me back a fabulous gift of a bookmark or piece of paper that said my name in a different language.

This past birthday she gave my my dead grandmother's underwear.

My siblings tell me I am dumb for not talking to her. They say they all didn't like her growing up, but I'll grow out of it, it's just that she was the disiplinarian. I moved out of her house in eighth grade. I never got any of my clothes or books or anything. I just left.

To this day, if she rides her bike past my house, she doesn't talk to me. If one of my brothers or sister is outside she will have a conversation with them but hop on her bike and ride off if she sees me. She comes over here and talks to my dad, but if I even make a sound she will leave.

I am incapable of liking anyone that is nice to me. All of my friends are horrible. I am afraid to meet new people, and if they are nice, I want to destroy them.

The only person this didn't apply to gave me up as a friend because his new girlfriend didn't like him palling around with another girl. We had been best friends for three years at the time.

I am 19 years old. All of my friends are or have moved away. This next year I will not have anyone to talk to. I've been in juvenile hall and a psychiatric hospital. I've never had a boyfriend. I suspect I'm going to die alone and scared. I'm afraid to exercise because people will think I care, and I don't want them to know I do. I hate all of my friends but I am addicted to them. I know some of them are using me. Some of them treat me horrifically. I am not a real person to them unless they are hurting or need something from me.

This isn't as bad as a lot of the confessions on here. But I needed someone to talk to who wasn't listening to ask me for money.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a confession:

When i was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I took around $100 of money from my parents to show the "allowance I got". When I was on the bus home, 30 dollars or more fell out and some kid took them to the office. I felt so bad since it was my parents money and i lost it

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned... on a recent trip to Amsterdam I hosed a prostitute while my wife was asleep in our hotel room.

Also, I have a serious crush on my boss. We flirt with each other outrageously, and have had a number of "encounters". I think that I would leave my wife for her. This makes me feel bad, but doesn't change the fact that I would.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Relationships scare me. If I get too close to someone, I lash out at them. If someone gets me to tell them too much about myself, or if they admit some amount of feeling for me, I'll back out of the relationship. This happens with both friendships and 'romantic' relationships. If you can call them that, I never get very close to anyone before I back out.
Strangely enough, the only person I've gotten close to without eventually hating is my older brother. Is that strange? I don't know. Man, good thing I don't actually want to get married. That would go horribly.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Im the youngest person on here, i know for a fact.Im one of the supposedly few females on the forums.I hate most of the people my age because they are all loving morons and will never amount to anything. My mom caught me in porn while i was well underage and it was publicly released.I sneak out of the house a lot to have sex and get high. I think people with diabilities are hilarious and i feel no shame for laughing at them. I steal from my mom all the time she takes me to counseling but has no idea it doesnt do a thing to help. my friends make fun of people with depression all the time, they dont know i have it. I also hate most of my friends as they follow other people way too much. i also have no idea why i typed this as it doesnt even begin to compare to what other people are saying

If this is anonymous, why not just tell us your age, we'll decide if you're the youngest.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I wish I hadn't let my ex talk me into sex and that I was still a virgin. All of those twenty-something year old virgins don't know how good they have it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Help me Pimpsolo, you're my only hope.

I am becoming increasingly jealous of most of the confessions. Not that I have a desire to shove anything up my anus or cheat on my spouse/girlfriend/etc, but that I have never had the opportunity to do such things. I don't have a desire to hurt anyone, nor the desire to find a hot little biscuit and force her to eat my rear end. I like my job, my family is surprisingly docile, and I see a bright future ahead. I wish I had more opportunities to see the dark side of things.

On a brighter note, I see hope for many people through their confessions. Bring together those people who are willing sexual submissives with the self-proclaiming assholes. Whore out the girls to the sad-sack virgins, so that they both get what they crave.

Oh, and I have not received my CNST t-shirt, but am too afraid of getting in trouble if I ask about it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was very briefly attracted to my aunt when I was just hitting puberty. I guess it happened when I saw her in a bikini; she had big boobs, so I guess the fact she was my aunt didn't matter too much at that time. The weirdest thing I've ever done was dress up in her underwear and jerk off to the reflection of myself in the mirror. I did that once and fortunately never really had the desire to do it again.

Also, I suck myself off. I would feel guilty about it, but I figure that any guy who was able to would do it, even if they didn't admit it. It hurts my spine and it's not as good as when my girlfriend does it, but it's still more pleasing than jerking off.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I masturbate, I look at pictures of white girls and rather than imagine loving them or something, I imaging becoming them, getting their own bodies or something.

However, when I look at asian women it's the opposite...

Weird, truly weird. Not bad I guess, but something I would've never imagined in a 1000 years.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Hey, I confessed to something earlier, but here's a nother one.

When I was younger, about 16, I was dating an 18 year old who just graduated from high school. She confessed she was going away to college, and that we would have to break up.

Naturally, I was pissed, and was trying everything I could think of to get her to stay here.

So, everytime we had sex after that, I'd insist we do it under the covers or in a dark room. She'd get me hard, put on the condom, and I'd get on top of her and pull the condom off all in one quick motion, and then gently caress her and blow my load inside of her. Thinking back, how she didn't know I was cumming inside of her, I have no idea.

I figured, if I could get her pregnant, she'd have no choice but to stay here with me and we'd live happily ever after.

------------------------------------------------------------

I think I've posted this one before.

I caught a guy trying to rape my girlfriend at a party, so I grabbed him and drug him outside and proceeded to beat the loving poo poo out of him. Hands, feet, elbows, knees, even a metal pipe I found. I was high on cocain at the time, so I may have been a little excessive.

Two of my friends ran outside to see what was going on, and saw me holding him up by the collar and pounding his face in. They grabbed me off of him, and asked me what I was doing. I explained the situation, and they promptly began kicking the poo poo out of him too.

We ended up dragging him down an alley and leaving him for dead in the middle of July while it was sleeting. I never saw any reports on the news or in the paper, so maybe his body is still laying in the bushes of an alley.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I think my friends girlfriend is fat, ugly, and unfunny and I secretly wish she would dump him so I could laugh at him for getting dumped by a fat ugly girl.

I went into the SA blocko-land server and smashed the hell out of a huge lego building/thing some goon spent a lot of time making because it made me laugh.

I teamkill fellow goons and other random people in BF2 because I find it funny and love when they get mad.

I never sent my SA Secret Santa member their christmas gift and dont feel bad about it at all since i never got my gift either. I will most likely sign up again this year and not send anything out.

I think every Mod has a Ban quota they must fill simply because lowtax knows half the morons will reregister or buy new accounts and make him more money.

90% of SAs front page articles are stupid and unfunny.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have an ambiguous morality. What is wrong one day and will keep me awake in shame for weeks, the next day might feel wholesome and comforting.

In time I have come to do "the right thing" but it is only because of the common morality of everyone around me. They would reel in horror if they knew what I had done in the past, and am still quite capable of doing now. I do what is right because it is beneficial to me in finances and relationships, not because I think it is right.

As a child I filled a pillow sack with a stray cat and a rabbit and slammed them into the side of our garage until they were pulp. I am also an animal lover and considered a more professional career working with animals. Remorse comes and goes regarding the abuse of other living creatures. They have been strung up and attacked as well as being saved and nursed back to health, or adopted from an animal shelther.

The moral ambiguity goes further than that however. My friend and lover of many years is wholly dedicated to me in every way. They have done absolutely everything possible to secure my affection. There is no end to the amount of gratuitous on-demand sex from this gorgeous and dedicated person, yet it does not prevent me from desiring someone younger and more attractive. Honesty in this matter is pervasive and expect the matter to blow over when I have sex with the younger party. I have never cheated on anyone before, because I thought it was dishonest and disgusting. Now that the opportunity looms nearby it does not bother me.

If my current lover was considering doing the same thing I would never forgive them, but I expect them to be okay with it. It is okay for me because I am a man. My dick goes in, my dick comes out. It washes off. It is not okay for her because another man would be violating her. Only I can do that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 13 years old, I found my dad's box of porn. I watched a few, but then I decided that they were better needed by my friends in the junior high school. So, I took them to school in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles boxcovers and sold them to my friends (this was before porn on the internet tookoff.) I made a couple of hundred bucks. I don't know if my dad ever found out about it- I replaced the videos I took with some free video on Jesus the Baptist church kept on giving out.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm secretly hoping for one of my parents to die in an accident so I can get money to pay off my credit card debts. Preferably my dad. We don't get along that well.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have literally zero real friends. I don't mean "oh man I wish I had friends lol", I mean that i want to go do something there is not a single person in the world that i can call to do it with. often I will go out to places and sit around and watch other people go by and wonder why I can't do the same thing. And when people say stuff like "hey just go meet people" it pisses me off because what does that mean? How do you just meet people? I'm not a bad guy and I've always gotten along with my classmates and coworkers and roommates well enough but I just don't have any friends at all. I hate it and i wish i could make friends but i just dont know how. I am sick of being alone all the time but I don't know what to do. Even writing this makes me feel like a dumb pathetic rear end in a top hat who could change all this if he just tried but of course i won't and i don't know if i even can.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I stalk my ex-husband through Something Awful, among other places. I have a morbid desire to see what he's up to and how he's doing. The sad thing is, I still really love him and would take him back if I knew he could forgive what I've done. He doesn't seem to realize how much I've changed and refuses to see me for the person I now am.

Our divorce isn't final and I've been avoiding making it so because I keep thinking he'll come around.

The wrost part is that his bitch girlfriend posted in this thread. I've created two accounts on myspace posing as a male to try to get her to cheat on him and she hasn't even responded. I've written to her friends, posing as someone else, to see if I could get any dirt on her.

I feel horribly about what I've done, and I'd actively try to get him back if I could just get her out of the way. As much as I try to move on, every time I see her post on here I think, "He's still my husband, whore." For two people who act so high and mighty, he's still cheating on me, his wife. Nothing can change that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

From time to time I think about killing my cats. That scares the gently caress out of me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hosed a girl from adultfriendfinder.com. We chatted for all of 10 minutes, then she invited herself over. We hosed twice and it was very awkward. She was my first, and thus far my only. She weighed upwards of 280lbs. I blocked her IM sn after she left.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have given a lot of thought to this, and have decided that if my life ever goes to poo poo, to such a point that I can't support myself, have no friends, no relationship, and no real future, I will probably take drastic action against what I see to be the biggest problem in America: Congress.

Congress is so full of waste and corruption that even if a decent politician (rare) were to be elected, the only way he or she could function would be by giving in to corruption and compromise. Therefore, I would probably write up a decent, legible, and rational suicide note and bomb congress while it was in session.

My other confession is that although I'm a complete atheist, I would really like to start my own religion sometime. I look at people like Joel Osteen and Pat Robertson, L. Ron Hubbard, etc. and I see an easy way to make money from the ignorance of the masses. I know this is pretty immoral and evil, but I honestly don't give too much of a poo poo for the ignorant masses. Additionally, after I'd made all my fortune I'd really like to blow the whistle on the whole thing; maybe do a talk show where I just start laughing at everyone who believed in me and say, "Psych, you fuckers, I lied and stole your money!"

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have meticulously planned out how to kill and despose of the bodies of various classmates.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have pseudo-crushes on practically every male goon who has a talent at something and isn't an rear end in a top hat. This includes Tea-san, (who was asking the ladies to confess their love to him) Choda Dog, putnam, Justin_on_fire, and a bunch of others. I don't care if they read this or not, but they'd probably enjoy the ego boost. Yes, I'm a girl.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Long time lurker here (I will buy an account soon though).

I had a really wierd experience when i was 10-12 (I cannot remember the exact age).

I was hanging out with a couple friends in the lounge at home while my parents were out. For some strange reason, we were having a philisophical discussion about God. We were saying how it was great that he's around us all the time, that he protects us and was here in the room with us even as we spoke. Then suddenly a bright light filled the room and we were overcome with powerful feelings of love and forgiveness. All negativity was washed from my body - I have never felt anything that amazing before or since in my life. It must've lasted a few seconds before whatever it was vanished. Afterwards we felt re-engergized and unafraid of anything.

We weren't overly devout Christians, but we did each believe in some kind of God thing. Today I'm not really a practicing Christian, and don't really follow the Bible too closely, but I still believe in some kind of Intelligent Superbeing. I try to keep an open mind about my perception of God. I haven't told many people about this, as it's not the kind of thing you hear about everyday, and I don't like to impose my beliefs on others. Just thought I'd put it out there.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I don't read the SA frontpage. Ever.

I too have jerked off in a Greyhound. And on a plane. In the family car. On the school bus. Several field trips, both in the bus and at the destination. On the football team bus on our way to a game. Not necessarily in the bathroom either.

I had a wet dream while staying in a two bed hotel room with my father on my way to visit colleges. He was not in my dream, but try creaming your boxers in your sleep with your father in the room without a little bit of trauma.

I can't find local girls to date. They are either stupid, hooked on drugs, pregnant, or stupid. I listed stupid twice because I have an overinflated sense of my own intelligence. However the local girls are really really dumb, even when you take my ego into account. I'm very close to considering a deal with this one girl for sex in exchange for paying her car payments. What the hell is wrong with me? Or is it the area? I just want love. Why do the girls around here have me convinced that women need to be bought?

I think my cats get more physical pleasure from me petting them than any woman I have slept with. Or they show more apprecation. I dunno.

I'm an unabashed lover of teenage girls. No 24 year old could ever compare with a pretty 14 year old. You can imagine my inner conflict at the mall. Teenage girls these days dress like supermodels, and I want to bust a nut right then and there. Giggity Giggity. I have not, nor do I want to, engage in sexual relations with anyone under the age of 17.

Incidently the only females who seem to be attracted to me are either in their early teens or their early 40s. I'm 24.

I would autofellatiate if I could.

I bought an Aneros Prostate massager after seeing a thread for it on SA. I enjoyed it for a while, but it's been months since I've bothered. It works, btw.

I could have sex with another man, but I can't possibly see myself living with one as partners. My soulmate is female, but I'll suck a cock and put mine in another man's rear end if it'll get me off. I have much higher standards for men than I do for women, however. Which means I haven't actually gone gay for anyone yet.

For some reason public transport ports are like an aphrodisiac for me, I don't know if you were implying that but at airports or on a public bus I start seeing a disproportionate of women that qualify as "a chick I would do." Never publicly wacked off though, I've contemplated it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I really hate listening to friends whine/vent about stuff. I usually just zone out and say "uh huh" a few times. Everyones problems are so insignificant.

I have no pity for people. I guess I'm not that empathetic. This is especially true for fat people and angst kids. It's up to yourself to make your life enjoyable. No ones going to lift you out of your depression except yourself you needy pussies. I know this because I was a fat depressed loser until I turned 18 and when to college.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I got my high school girlfriend pregnant and she had to have an abortion. Thats it, thats the worst thing I have on my conscience. I wasnt abused, I dont jack off to thoughts of murder or rape, I dont want to kill myself, Ive never cheated on anyone. Oh wait I dont know how to talk to girls and I wish I did and I haven't had a girlfriend in years whoopie. Most of you people are freaks and now I feel bad for thinking human beings are essentially good.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm going to drive 12 hours to take a girl's virginity and I have never been happier

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I told a girl in my english class I wanted to rip her throat out. Then I repeated it on xanga.
Then I said something nasty to a friend of mine who was dating her or something.
She cried in class for 3 days. She was terrified of me. Truth be told I would never, ever, ever hurt someone like that. I wouldn't hit someone unless I was kidding or defending myself. I almost wish I didn't say that to her, but she is annoying.
And I'm not friends with her now ex-boyfriend anymore. He hates me. Doesn't matter, he always disrespected me anyway.
It hurts though. I'd known him since 2nd grade and knowing he hates me and doesn't respect me at all, hurts more than anything. I have two more years to put up with his harrassment. I'm just glad he leaves me alone at work.

I like him. I was jealous. I did it all because I was jealous of the attention she was getting. He hugged me once and I felt so happy.

I've never told anyone this.

I'm a pathetic person.

I've made around a dozen confessions since this thread was posted.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Yeah, I'm a dirtbag rear end in a top hat and I'm going to hell, but I've come to terms
with that...I ask no forgiveness for the things I've done, nor am I sorry
for them.

When I was 10 at my friend's house, I got into his mom's purse and used her
credit card to order a couple of nordic tracs to their house using a mail in
form.

When I was 12 a substitute teacher held me after class to discipline me for
passing notes in class, I told her to suck my dick and then went to the
principal telling him that she asked me to let her suck my dick. I'm pretty
sure she got fired for that.

When I was 16 I found a bottle of vodka in a teacher's desk and blackmailed
her to let me pass the class without doing any work. I later stole a bunch
of software from her office

The following few take place in college.
I went out of my way to treat my roommate like poo poo. I poked holes in his
condom using a pin, puked in his bed(while drunk), whacked off into an open
bag of chips he left out, took a poo poo in one of his socks and put it back in
the sock drawer, stole all of his books and sold them to the bookstore, and
stole his TV and refridgerator when I moved out.

I found out that the RA was counterfeiting tickets to football games and
blackmailed him into letting me smoke pot in the dorms and giving me free
tickets. When football season was over, I ratted him out causing him to get
kicked out of school. He sells used cars now.

The loving retard kid next door always left on the weekends so one time
when he left, we broke into his room and used a credit card we found to
purchase him $1100 of gay porn on his computer, then deleted all of his
personal files.

While loving some random drunk chick I met at a party, she passed out on
top of me, so I finished up, stole her purse, and left.

Walked around checking for unlocked doors, then went in and stole random
things, like telephones, keyboards, lamps. Once while doing this, I found
some car keys to a VW and went through every Volkswagon in the parking lot
until I found the Jetta the keys belonged to, started the car, rolled the
windows down, popped the trunk and walked off.

I sawed a parking boot off my car after building up more than $1000 of
parking tickets.

Since that time, I've calmed down quite a bit and I'm not quite as much of
an rear end in a top hat.
I secretly miss a girlfriend I broke up with 5 years ago and really wish I
could talk to her, but I know I can't ever talk to her again I do regret
that, a lot.

I think we deserved the 9/11 attack and wish that there would be more
attacks, even though I live near a major city.

I've got plenty more things I'd confess to if anybody wanted to hear them.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 02:27

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

Charenton_ came out of the closet to say:

Ah, that explains it.

Frankly, it was enough for me to simply confess through email. Very cathartic.

I actually thought I got all those ones that I missed, I went through the larger mass emails I got, figured out where I left off and posted everything. If you've posted within the past 24 hours, I'm getting to you, if not, I cought up with the emails about 24 hours ago, I'm working on catching up to have all "read" emails as we speak. I'm really not that harsh about not posting confessions. Really sorry if I missed something that should've been posted, keyword "should've." I just find it unlikely at this point that I have missed any confessions besides the recent ones which I'm doing now.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 02:34

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Love triangles suck.

I had a boyfriend, we lived together and had done for a year and a
half. We were very happy. I was a bit bored and didn't know what to do
with my evenings, but I can honestly say there was nothing wrong with
our relationship. He was drat near perfect.

I tried to solve my boredom by going back to the internet and finding
people I used to talk to. I did, this one guy I'd talked to for a long
time, we'd always clicked. We got on great, it was just like I'd never
been gone. I had a slight crush on him, but I thought as long as I
keep it inside me, nobody's getting hurt. But one day he told me he'd
always had feelings for me.

It took maybe a month from this point until the day I left. It was
loving awful. I honestly loved my boyfriend, we had a great life..
but I could not stop thinking about this other guy, I'd talk to him
whenever I could. He was so lonely and depressed and I knew I could
make him happy. I confessed my feelings to my boyfriend after a couple
of weeks of torture, we talked things through. I decided to stay with
him. But after a week of cutting myself every morning just to get
through the day I realised I could not stay. It was killing me. I felt
every time he looked at me like I was a filthy cheating poo poo, and yet
I missed the other guy's conversation. I couldn't imagine how I'd
leave him, he was my whole life, but I had feelings for someone else
and that was enough to feel I was cheating on him.

So I left.

The "other guy" turned out to be a compulsive liar, completely
incapable of fidelity or honesty and I really hope someone tattoos
"LIAR" on his forehead, or he gets hit by a car and paralysed or
something, so he never puts another person through what he put me
through. I've never known anyone that hosed up, who could lie that
easily and that constantly to someone who loved them.

So I hurt everyone, and ended up with nothing. If I go my whole life
without ever being in that situation again, I will be content. It was
a loving dreadful experience. I have sympaty for anyone in this
situation.

Both of these guys are goons. If either of you reads this, I'm sorry.
I never meant to hurt anyone. It was an awful experience and I hope we
all learned a lot about human nature from it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Here is my confession:

Over the last couple of years(!) I have been obsessed with goons and their interactions.
I created a database that has every goon, past and present, every pic they ever posted including of their friends, their gimmick accounts, likes-dislikes, political stance, crushes, flirting attempts, sexual orientation, real-life friends, every email address ever used, bans, avatars etc. etc.
It started as just a small project but it has grown to epic proportions and is consuming hours of my life daily by now.
I have to compulsively check SA from various boxes and accounts for my daily updates, spend hours getting off-SA like material LJ�s, other boards and such compiled into the database.
The users datasets has grown huge and it takes me forever to cross-reference pics and such to weed out fakes, even though one of the user sections is for example �Fake pics posted� as well. So I always have to work on it.
Graphs on various interactions have also become massive and bring lesser machines to its knees.
I always find new criteria for various things I want to track and have to incorporate this into the db, I just can�t stop.
This thing is all consuming and is slowly driving me over the edge.
I need help! ;-(

Wow, you should post that database anonymously too.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

*Didn't post rant which you would insert here, sorry*

Confessions that aren't a rant? The coworker that wants to nail me is not one of the two I want to nail.

There's this guy I know who happens to be gay. I am not gay, and I can swear 'pon my soul that I have nothing against gay people. But he seems to go out of his way, when we're hanging out drinking or playing video games, to lay his leg next to mine, or rub knees, or whatever, and I don't know how to tell him "dude, stop, I'm NOT GAY" without coming off like a homophobe who thinks "OMG GAY AGENDA == gently caress EVERY STRAIGHT GUY LOL".

Also, my roommate is gay (yeah, THAT helps my case), and I totally know which confessions in this thread are his, and he's all paranoid, and I'm just saying that I'm gonna kill his slacker rear end in his sleep to make him MORE paranoid.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been sleeping with a friend of mine for years. He has a
girlfriend, and has had since before he and I met. I've had
boyfriends too, and I cheated on them repeatedly with him. It
kills me that he doesn't want to be with me and me alone. I love
him so much but I've stopped telling him that I do over the last
six months or so. I'm sure he has noticed and is hurt because of
it. I do it purposely because want to hurt him sometimes, because
the whole thing causes me so much grief and pain, because I can't
stop crying over him, because he deserves to feel as bad as I do.

Last February, I almost killed myself, in part because of the
hosed up situation, in part because I was depressed. I have never
told anyone this because I'm sure they would label me an attention
whore and what not. The sad truth is that I just didn't think
anyone would ever really love me, not enough to be monogamous and
faithful. That and the fact that I'm so emotionally dependent on
him that if he goes a few days without talking to me, I feel like
I'm going to die anyway. So so irrational, I know.

One time, when he and I were going through a bad patch, he hosed
someone else, someone not me and not his girlfriend. I didn't care
at the time but now it makes me sick to think about, actually
physically ill. Sometimes the three of us are in the same room
together and I just want to scream because I'm the only one of the
three that knows what really goes on.

Deep down, I don't think I'm worth anybody's time, love, or effort.
I've been without an actual boyfriend for over a year and a half.
I try to tell myself it's because I'm too busy or I'm not that
interested or I just don't know any reasonable guys, but the sad
reality is two-fold. One: I'm too in love with this guy and don't
want to hurt him (and, believe me, he's always hurt when I've had
boyfriends or if I show interest in someone else). Two: I'm
convinced that I'm ugly, selfish, and otherwise despicable. I have
such low self esteem but he makes me feel like the most important
person in the world. I'm not unattractive and I'm great in bed (so
I'm told) but yet I'm so down on myself. Maybe it's because I'm a
cheating slut ...

I'm friends with his girlfriend and, of course, she doesn't know
(although she's had her suspicions). I don't feel guilty when I
hang out with her. I used to because she's a great person and I
don't want her to get hurt. It was worse before when she'd call my
house looking for him and I'd have to lie. The guilt broke us up,
so to speak, for a while, but we couldn't stay away from each
other. Watching him with his girlfriend makes me want to vomit.

The sex used to be awesome, mind boggling. I've never been so
sexually compatible with a person. Now it's dull, routine even,
and I never get off. Most of the time I just lay there, wondering
why I keep doing this. I can't say no to him. Despite all the
negativity, all his faults, all my faults, and the fact that we're
a pair of amoral sons of bitches, I love him more than I've ever
loved anyone else in my entire life.

I know how wrong this all is. I know what a hosed up situation
this is and I know I deserve anything bad that happens to me. But
I can't stop. It hurts to be with him and it hurts not to be with
him. I need to move a thousand miles away and never loving talk
to him again.

Are there support groups for mistresses? Because I totally need
one.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a horrible person, and regret every thing I have
done up until my Senior year of High School. It's
hard to even type them because I feel like such a
loving bastard.

The worst one was the girl I liked didn't have any
lunch money, so she went to one of my friends (who she
could easily extort money from). He responded "Ask so
and so" (me) because he knew I liked her. I then
asked her for a hug in exchange.

This hug felt a little too close.

She stopped showing up to school, starting the next
day.

I heard her dad got into a car accident or something
but somehow it feels like it was me.

Now I wish I could see her one last time so I could
just apologize for being such a horrible bastard to
her.

Also, I partly (but not fully blame) a lot of this on
my horrible bitch of a mother, who loving ignored me
for 2 years of my life because of her lovely
boyfriend. I actually resorted to LYING about him
hitting me to actually get her attention.

Our weekends basically consisted of us driving up to
her boyfriend's ex-wife's house, picking up his kids,
and driving back, then, my mother wouldn't pay
attention to me, but her boyfriend's kids. I was so
depressed from this I got heavily medicated and put on
about 120 pounds in a couple of months from
overeating.

I hate my mother. She's a horrible loving person.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was very young, I used to masturbate imagining I was drowning
in huge vats of sheep and cow poo poo, or bottomless pits of chopped up,
rotting fish. The film The Blob really turned me on.

I also used to fantasize about being taken to a graveyard, having a
month-dead corpse dug up, and being forced to like, gently caress it's severed
femur. Then I'd be tied to it, have the skull cracked open and my own
head forced inside the rotting gooey brain mess, and just left there
struggling in the pit.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I want to torture to death the many, many misogynists, on this forum and
elsewhere. I wish Aileen Wuornos were still alive and prowling for victims.
She was my hero, my respect for her tarnished only by the probability that
her first murder really was in self-defense. (the victim's past criminal
history, including a rape conviction, was not allowed into evidence for the
trial). I would especially have loved to see Mr. I-Victimize-Fat-'Hos run
across Wuornos. I think he's making his story up anyway, but if he's not,
his anger is misplaced. The people who deserve to be extorted, blackmailed,
and burgled are the johns, the pathetic losers who have to pay for the
company of women.

If you saw my picture, you'd never guess that I'm like this. I look sweet,
cute, nice, like the girl next door. You'd never know how much I hate you
and want to kill you after watching you bleed and listening to you scream.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

"I'm 25 years old and I have no career aspirations. This is because all I want to do with my life is have kids and be a housewife..."

Besides not being 25, I feel the same way as this lady. I like having a job, but what I really want to do is eventually be a mother and housewife. And I'm pretty angry at the feminists I know for making me feel ashamed of it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once got a carrot stuck up my vagina for two days. I eventually had to ask my father for help getting it out. He used salad tongs. This was the single most embarrassing moment of my life.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have an ex named John. When I broke up with him, he sent me a long letter telling me how we was going to kill myself. I then avioded the guy at all costs.

I started hanging out with him again two years later. I went bowling with him and his best friend. Both were hitting on me. I ended up having sex in a bowling alley bathroom with my ex's best friend. They're not friends anymore.

I used to be such a loving whore.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Two words:

I'm Bulimic. My eating disorder started when I just entered high school. The influence of one friend who constantly watched her weight because she was fat and the addition to other external influences made me start watching what I ate. In standards, I am by far skinny as hell. I started becoming anorexic by watching my portions. I didn't all together stop eating. I actually liked food. My parents started to notice the effect when they saw me changing one day to take a shower. They said they could count every single one of my rib without me having to move around much. In my eye, I saw myself as normal. I kept judging my normality according to my legs, which is where all my muscles and fat go into when I do gain. I lost my breasts, and my face was deathly gaunt. Still, I didn't think I was too skinny or anorexic. I began buying secret fat free sauces, and other calorie free/low fat items and hid them in my room. When dinner time came I always made food so I could take charge or fat content and portion content. In school, I'd always bring my own lunch. Lunch always consisted of some low fat meat/fish on a whole wheat bread, some fruit, some milk, and a yogurt. Anything else made my routine go chaotic and I'd have to go run 4 miles to make myself feel better and limit my dinner portions.

My mother was finally fed up and took me to the doctors. They weighed me, and told me to eat more. I finally snapped out of my anorexia one day while shoveling snow, and I actually ate healthy. I still exercised and I was at my prime. Although, most heavy but heavy is like uber skinny or skinny to standards. Then, I became bulimic.

I've been so secretive about this. It's been nearly 4 years and no one suspects anything... well maybe the mother. But, I need to stop. I've been beginning to show symptoms: My teeth are starting to get black at the roots and my nails are really really brittle. My blonde hair is getting really hay like and Im thinking it's starting to fall out.

I deathtly want to get back to normal, but I'm too afraid to let anyone know, and still am subconsciously wanting to fit that perfect body standard more than ever.

I think I'm doing alot better because I haven't purged alot. I'm trying really hard. I hate those stupid LJ communities that promote eating disorders because it's not a loving disorder that should be praised or started. It's such a hosed up thing, and I can't tell ANYONE about it because I'd shame myself and I don't want it overtaking my life with friends and loved ones.

I also one time... out of rage at myself took a sharp switchblade and slit my side. The wound was really loving huge. I kept bleeding and I started to panic. In the most retarded sense.. I went onto my bike and purposely crashed into something.. increasing injury and more cuts. When the doctor asked about the cuts, I blamed it on my biking incident... and not the fact I cut myself out of fustration on my eating disorder. To this day there is a huge jagged scar on my side that starts from under my boobs to the end of my ribcage.

I'm sorry for anyone who's suffering from an eating disorder or thinks they don't look a certain way. I dear god want to get out, but Im so wrapped up in everything that I'm always in a viscious cycle.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have willingly run over a flock of geese walking across the road.

I had come to a full stop when I saw them. Suddenly I had had that evil notion run through my head. I looked around for witnesses, saw none, and gunned it.

I heard a few thumps, but I couldn't bear to look back.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 16, I was drunk at a party and fell for a guy I knew was bad. I agreed to try heroin, and while I was on my first of many euphoric highs, he raped me in the bathroom. Because of this, I fell into addiction and lost nearly everything that ever mattered to me.

Today is one year since I've been clean.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've read this thread all day. This is the second day reading it. I'm now going to sleep and when I wake up I'll start reading again. I have no life.

Confession: this was my ulterior motive for this thread.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Ever since my girlfriend katie broke up with me 6 years ago I have gone utterly insane. I stopped talking to people for 4 years and now have had a new girlfriend for one year, but I am only dating her because she has the same physical features as my old girlfriend. I convinced her to recently dye her hair blonde, and will try to get her to have it cut like katie's soon.

Recently she has been accepted by american idol and will be on this january of 06, and from any public attention she gets I plan to exploit her. I have recorded many videos of us having sex, and plan to release them if the time is right. My ultimate goal is to get enough money out of whatever comes from her rise or fall (whichever seems more profitable) and use it to get katie back. I still masturbate to her yearbook pictures regularly, and used photoshop many times to make a collection of fake porn. I was her first kiss so she will love me endlessly forever... all I have to do is rekindle the relationship under the correct circumstances.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've never even kissed a girl, and I'm absolutely terrified I'm going to be horrible at the physical aspect of relationships.

I already know I'll be terrible at the emotional side.

For all the "I'm X age and never had a girlfriend" posts, this seem's kind of common will that many people live alone for the rest of their lives? I doubt it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I had an online relation with a 37 year old wife who had a daughter and was happily married. Still we started having sex while chatting with eachother (lol cybersex lol) and she even tried to arrange a meeting so we could rent a room and gently caress but I pussyed out (i was 17 at this point and she new it). She wrote erotic art for me which dealt with our imaginary meeting and how we two would end up having sex.. was a nice read.

It was cool, yes yes it was..

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once had sex with a male friend of mine just so he'd let me have sex with his girlfriend.

I'm really desperate for acceptance from everyone I meet, and I'm very charismatic and funny so it isn't a problem at all, but I sometimes worry about being disfigured or something and having everyone hate me.

For the same reason I want to have sex with almost everyone, just to be sure that they like me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was one semester away from finishing my degree when I dropped out. I was going to be an elementary school teacher, but I realized I was a pedophile.

I've tried to tell my family, but they can't. My niece and my nephew don't understand why their aunt won't play with them anymore. I'm too scared of myself to spend any time with them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I masturbate or touch my nipples I feel extremely ill. I have no idea what would cause this, but it sucks.

I hate emo people, I hate scenesters. I have no idea what the hell I fall into.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

QUOTE:
--------------------------------------------------------------
Hawaiian Yeti came out of the closet to say:
"I seriously hope you loving die. I don't expect you to reply, but what do you get from torturing cats that don't know what the gently caress? They're just going about their natural lives until you do whatever the gently caress you do to them."
(In response to the dude who tortures cats, of course"
--------------------------------------------------------------

You know what you stupid mother fucker, I hope YOU loving die. Out of everything, the sexual violation, the vandalism, the offenses against other human beings that has some out of this thread, you have to get all protective over a stupid loving cat. I hate with a fiery passion people whose priorities are so off-center that they naturally put animals lives on a higher pedestal than human lives, or will defend them first. If it were within my power I would kill, honestly kill, every last one of you animal loving hippy liberal PETA dumbasses, because it's pussy-whipped touchy-feely, holistic healing, new age cockbutts like you that are pussifying this country to the point that a whole loving plane full of people don't have the balls to gangbang a few terrorists that couldn't possibly have defended themselves against 200 angry coach-class passengers.

And before it comes up, I'm not a republican and I'm not conservative, I just hate stupid people and both rep. and dem. have plenty in their ranks. People that commit to one political party like any group could encompass or accurately represent the opinions of millions of people either have a narrow view of the world or just don't think for themselves.

Also, gently caress Dale Ernheart in the half of his skull that they found. And gently caress magnetic ribbons on cars, that poo poo's just stupid.

This was rantish, but I let it slide because it was in response to something, and he did confess to some odd beliefs, and it's interesting.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When my husband is performing oral sex on me, I often fantasize about him sucking off my non-existant dick.
I really want to be a gay man, but I am a straight woman.

Now that is Freudian. Penis envy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was little, a friend convinced my brother and I to break into a nearby elementary school and trash a few rooms. The police showed up to my own school, yanked me out of class and grilled me about it. I kept my mouth shut, and so did my brother, but on the way home we confessed to our father. We continued to keep our mouths shut, and were never charged. But my father says we continue to recieve bills from the school. A percentage of my first million dollar pay check will go to that school.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

quote:
CountZero came out of the closet to say:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, at all. You defended yourself, and came out the victor. He would have killed you if you hadn't done it to him first, and scum like that doesn't deserve to live. There is nothing wrong with being happy that a monster like that is dead.
I beat a man to death with my bare hands. I ripped his throat out. I was coated in blood. I had blood in my mouth because I was screaming as I did it. And I enjoyed it as I did it. How can anyone say that is ok? How can that ever be ok? I couldn't tell where my blood stopped and his started on my clothes but I was pretty drat sure that the blood in my face and in my hair was his. The cuts I had on my face were superficial. Ten years now, and I can still see his face, before and after.

The cosp said there would be no charges. My parents never talked about it. No one ever told me it was ok before. I don't know if I can believe that, but I really really want to.

This is the type of stuff I have a difficult time deciding to post or not because it seems so obviously fake. I'm interjecting like this so you get an idea of why maybe one of your confessions weren't posted.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I read some of these posts and kinda get turned on. Not by the really hosed up ones tho.

I think that I am a very sexual person, and I really like sex a lot. I've had sex with 19 different guys, but none of them would ever know that, nor would any of my friends suspect that.

My current boyfriend is a goon.

When I was younger, my older brother used to pretend he was wrestling with me and would lie on top of me and wiggle around and then when he was done my pants would be all wet and I would get confused at what was going on. Now that I am older I realize he was using me for sexual purposes and the wet stuff was cum.

Sometimes I think about getting it on with my female friends. I'd like to get with a girl, just not sure how.

And to go along with that other girl that loves anal sex, so do I, I think secretly all girls do.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am currently e-dating a 43 year-old closeted gay man. He's literally almost twice my age, and something about that is perversely appealing to me.

I also find all the domination/submission confessions arousing, as well as the one from the 33 year-old bi/married guy.

On a nonsexual note, to the guy who shat his pants on the first day of high school, I shat mine on the first day of college. I blame the lovely food.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes I get irrationally angry and irritable at little things that people do and I hate myself for it, because I know it's just my brain being stupid and distancing myself from people. I'm afraid of having a serious relationship because I know at some point I will get irritated and leave, and that bothers me.

I also feel downright boring compared to some of the rest of these confessions and though it's probably a good thing that I lead a normal life without too many problems, I feel very uninteresting.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm happily married to a wonderful woman. No one could be as perfect for me as she is. But she has a friend. I am drawn to this woman. I'm not really sure why, other then she has a lot of qualities that my wife has, the same quarks that attracted me to my wife in the first place. I like this girl and we hang out fairly often, especially when my wife is away on business. Her friend is single and doesn't exactly want to change that. So we go out and neither of us have to worry about getting hit on at the bars.

I don't want to have sex with my wife's friend, but when I am masterbating all of a sudden I will think about her and it will send me over the edge. Even when I am having sex with my wife I will sometimes think of her friend. I never picture her naked. I never think about having sex with her. She's not my type physcially. I just think about her. It was never a big thing until my wife and I were talking about possible threesomes and she said the only friend she could bring in were one of three friends. And then she said, "Could you imagine <this friend> joining us?" I laughed because it was so absurd and I am not sexually attracted to her at all. But I'm not laughing any more. And I can't get that idea out of my head. And now I live in fear that I am going to say the wrong name during sex and let my secret out.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A few years ago I was talking to this guy. We were friends and I didn't really want anything more from him. There was a slight sexual tension between us though. I liked. I was pretty srue he liked it. The one time at his house we were watching a movie laying on his couch. He reached out and pulled him up against him and wrapped his arm around me. Then he leaned down and kissed me on top of my head. It was nice. It was really really nice. I just laid cuddled up with him on the couch and we eventually dozed off.
I'm married now. And I love my husband. But I still remember how nice it felt to be cuddled up in my friend's arms laying on the couch. Even after he flipped out on my drove me away. I still sometimes wish I could go back and jsut cuddle up with him on the couch. He was a good friend and I wish he hadn't ended out friendship. I think he thought I wanted more from him, but I didn't. I wouldn't have minded shagging him rotten, but I never wanted to date him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a 100% heterosexual male, but nothing turns me on more than the thought of double-teaming a girl with another guy. The ultimate appeal would be double penetrating the girl, and I'd love to be sharing the same hole with the other guy. I even went so far as skirting the issue with my friend in the hopes that he would want to double-team his wife, but it has yet to happen.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

While at a party at my best friend's house with a bunch of people, myself and my friend's sister (both drunk) had sex. I was too scared my friend might catch us if we did it on her bed in her room, so we hosed each other in her closet.

It was all kind of stupid since we started openly dating not soon after and my friend was cool with it, though to this day he does not know about our little closet thing.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Once I went into a book store and saw a nice copy of Anton Chekhov's complete short novels. When I went to the counter, the guy said that he had been waiting to buy that at the end of his shift, and we laughed.

As I was leaving I said "I'll enjoy the ASIMOV," and of course he looked at me like I was a dumbass. I meant to say Chekhov, but had been looking at a bunch of Asimov and hosed it up. I sat outside the bookstore wondering if I should go in and explain what I meant because I felt like a real jackass. It still bugs me today and it was over a year ago, it's so weird that it makes me feel so uncomfortable.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've smoked so many cigarettes in the past couple of years that I can't get a decent erection, and I'm only 21 years old.

Yet, somehow, I'm ok with this.

Jesus, they need to put this side effect on boxes. Oh God, the truth campaign is ignoring one of the greatest deterrents ever if this true.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I missed the first day of school today because i was reading this thread.

I actually was an hour late for work and the only reason I was an hour late and didn't compleatly skip work, was because they called me at my house at 5AM. Also Tuesday afternoon, I was taking one of my two hour naps from not sleeping from this thread, and I woke up and the power was out in my house and my alarm was reset and I thought I missed the first day of class also, so I got in my car, drove all the way to school and I would've only caught the last 5 minutes of that class EXCEPT!!! For some reason that class starts a few weeks in to the semester as opposed to all my other classes that started that day, and I commuted all the way to school for nothing. This thread seems to make people super unproductive.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I act like a tough guy even though i am nor physically or emotionally very tough.

I go through phases where i'll either look in the mirror and see myself as the sexiest human being ever, or as the ugliest fuckup i've ever seen. I truly do not know whether i am an attractive person or not, because my reactions to my own appearance are so radical.

I am not very successful with the ladies, however maybe not too far below the par.

I enjoy anal porno above regular vaginal sex pornography. I enjoy watching 3 somes, whether its two guys double teaming a girl , or two girls and a guy.

I lack a lot of common sense.

I am a quitter, and i have quit lots of things that i could have potentially been very successful at.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am not gay but the youngest Hanson brother used to look so much like a girl that I used to stare at my CD cover at him.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was molested as a child. I didn't know it was wrong. I thought it was normal.

When I was 6, and my little brother was 3, I convinced him to "play" with me when our parents were sleeping.

The memory of that makes me want to kill myself, and I pray to god that he doesn't remember.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Whenever I'm nice and smile at a stranger and they don't have the common courtesy to smile back, I seriously wish they'd die.

Oh poo poo man, I totally loving agree. I mean, I know they will eventually die, I just hope it's a little worse.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 02:55

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

Mayor Wilkins came out of the closet to say:

I don't think he wants anyone to take over, and really, this thread is turning into ninety-five percent discussion and five percent confession. He'll never get caught up, and nobody's going to read a sixty-page thread all the way through. I think it'd be best to cut it off tomorrow night, let it rest a while, and give him time to finish sorting through his backed up e-mail.

Then, in a few weeks, he could post a "part two" thread full of TONS of new material, without even having to ask for more submissions. Then he could take his time, not be rushed, and people would be more likely to read everything.

I kind of like the discussion, it's sort of half the fun talking about the weird confessions, but I can totally understand how the thread has gotten out of control as far as content goes so if you want me to, I can state that I will stop posting confessions, but instead of closing the thread, allow for discussion of the weird confessions? I don't know, it's all up to everyone, I'm down for anything. I look forward to staying up, reading, and posting the confessions so at whatever point you don't want to see any more confessions I can stop. It might be surprising but every time I make a post I make a huge dent in the email, enough to catch up at this pace. To be honest I have purposely left gaps of time to give people time to read the confessions I've already posted so I can see what people have to say about them.

I'm game for whatever anyone wants though and obviously whatever a moderator wants.

Edit: Heh, I just thought about the fact that it has been suggested to close this thread because it's too long, and it's only been up for three days? There's times (rarely) I don't even log on to the forums for three days. I just thought that was kind of a funny thought, I could've missed this thread had I not posted it myself.

Pimpsolo fucked around with this message at 03:12 on Aug 25, 2005

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 03:05

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm so grateful that I'm not from the US. You guys don't know how bad you have it. I feel sorry for people who honestly believe the US is the best country on Earth. I always hope they mean it's THEIR personal favorite country, because they can't seriously think that it's better than any other country on the planet. There are countries with more freedoms, with more individual rights, countries that are more egalitarian. Countries with free education and free health care. Countries with less poverty and less violence. Countries where religious zealots aren't in power. I think the worst part about the States for me was seeing the staggering amount of ignorance about the rest of the world, the lack of interest in what went on outside the US, and the lack of respect for other cultures. It was seriously depressing, and having been brought up thinking that the States was some kind of modern utopia, it was a real shock. I don't ever want to go back there. I've lived in several countries, and I'd choose any of them over the US.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My parents are lonely and tell me that the other is lonely independently of one another but they don't get along and it breaks my heart. I wish there were a way I could live with them without ever getting irritated by them or have them nag me about poo poo, where they wouldn't know that I am a smoker (and have been since 16, 17 years old; I'm 25 now) and I could cook with my Mother and watch indie flicks with my Dad and never once feel like they didn't understand me.

I miss them and should call them more. They love me but we'll never be compatible as friends. I will always be the adult-child and it makes me so sad. I know we don't "choose our family," but I wish we could. I envy friends whose family members are their friends.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a klepto. I steal from stores all the time, books, clothes, jewlery. I have been for five years. Occasionaly I'll start to feel guilty, and I'll throw away everything I've stolen. Then I'll quit for a while, then start back up again. right now I'm on the guilty part where I quit doing it. Maybe this time it will last.

I have never been caught. Not even close.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have sex with woman that is not very attractive. The trouble is that when I stay at her house she wakes me up in the morning with a BJ and swallows everything. She loves doing it and it really is nice, I just lie back and think of someone more attractive.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I desperately want to be an SA moderator. I want to gas stupid threads, keep GBS free of idiocy, and contribute. I want new users to cower in terror as I bring the hammer of justice down on their "Hi I'm new here" threads or dish out a week of probation to June 05vers telling people to lurk more. Punishment will come softly but quick. Muahahahaahahaha. But really I just want to be one of the cool kids.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've always hung out with people significantly older than me, mostly because people my own age have always been so stupid and boring. Nowadays I'm hanging out with people younger than me and it's terrifying to think I'm that creepy old person hanging out with younger kids who think it's cool to hang out with older people.

I feel stupid and boring.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My 15 year old brother is going to get laid before me and I'm going to have to drive him there.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a female goon and I do NOT get the attention that so many other female goons are complaining about! I hold back from advertising because I don't want to be an attention whore, but at the same time I don't masquerade as a guy. I can hold my own in some of the forums and it doesn't phase anyone that I'm a girl.

What's stupid is if my pm box did get flooded with stupid goon penis pictures or whatever, I'd be totally annoyed.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

It's really hosed up how it's okay to use "gay" or "fag" as insults, but say "friend of the family" or "chink" even as a joke and you're banned. And the "society accepts one and not the other" is bullshit. Of course if I said it on the forums it'd be 10 pages of "you're gay, fag." SA Forums: Homophobia yes, racism no.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I don't see why there's so much attention towards female goons. OK so most of the forum is full of angsty whiney sexually frustrated middle class white males. However, that doesn't excuse all the cooze worship and fawning that goes on around here. I've seen a few pictures of the female internet "superstars" on this forum. Most of them are conceited petty cunts who would not even rank in the non forum world. This doesn't mean I wouldn't gently caress them though. I would gently caress them but it would be a long hard hate gently caress that would make the bitch bleed. I wouldn't mind recruiting someone like Max Hardcore to go to town on the female goons.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Let me just say that i'm a lurker and not a regular forum poster and i'm also a black man. Reading these comments about black men I have to agree to some extent that there are a lot of "dumb niggers" out there. However, these people would also not exist if it weren't for mainstream white society's treatment of minorities. I have my own confessions to make as well. I have a deep distrust and dislike of most white people. Even though I enjoy having sexual relations with white and hispanic women I really dislike white men. I take every opportunity I can to embarass or humiliate white men. The other day I stole this white guy's hot blonde girlfriend after we secretly exchanged phone numbers at her workplace. I hosed the living poo poo out of her and she loved every minute of it. I don't even really like her as a person and can't stand it when she opens her mouth but sexually she's great. The truth is most white women are sluts and like to be filled up by the black sausage. The truth hurts boys.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to have a 'Depressed' friend who would always whine about her ex boyfriends I knew, One week she was talking to me online when she had some panic attack that lasted a few days.
Anyway, I wasn't too sure if this was real or not, but she said she couldn't take any controversy or it would make her feel rather depressed as usual.
Anyway, This was really pissing me off because she was a self centered mole, and this whole panic attack that stopped her from focusing in real life, but some how allowed her to hold a steady conversation on the interweb pissed me seemd like a bit of an attention seeking think, So i made fun of her

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

This is the goon who wrote the original "There's a goon who shares the same secret I do, and I
think she's one of the most beautiful things I've ever
seen" post that turned into the love pyramid discussion.

I'm really sorry I'm not who the anonymous responder thought I was, but I hope it's helped you get closer to whatever ends up being right for you.

I was pretty sure I was risking this happening by being so vague, but at the same time, I'm still scared that if she knew who I was, she'd think I was creepy for thinking so highly of her, as while we've discussed some pretty intimate things, it's hard to know what she thinks about me, if I cross her mind much anymore at all.

The girl who's stuck in my head so much is with another girl (I'm a guy), and if you read this, at this risk of never having any continued friendship with you:

I hope you got your Triforce.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have been broken up with my ex for quite some time. She left me for another goon. I still think about her everyday, and I miss her even though I know I would never take her back, not that there's any chance of that ever coming up.

I act like I'm over her and tell everyone that I am, but deep down inside I'm still ripped to shreds. I'm not sure if I'm even capable of dating or loving anyone anymore; my heart was broken in the worst of ways.

I just wish everything could be how it was; I was so happy then.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I read the confession of the lady goon who said she hoped to find a boyfriend on SA, and then the confession of the guy who said he wanted to date her, it made me hope that maybe I could find a boyfriend on SA. Even though I wouldn't really like him and would just be using him for sex, because that's how all my relationships turn out. SA seems like a good place to get a boyfriend from because I have a virgin fetish and I think there are a lot of virgins on SA.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Up till recently i had been single for over ten years,
over that time i got into porn (obviously) and have
picked up some interesting fetishes browsing usenet. i
now have a lovelly girlfriend a few years younger than
me (i am early 30s) and we have great sex, but i
really want to see her piss her pants but there is no
way she would ever agree and i'm scared she'd leave me
for even suggesting it.

she does come like a train though.

thanks for the thread, i've been reading it for the
last couple of days and it's equally funny, sad and
arousing, somethimes all three. i'd like to add my
anonymous name to the 'got wood while reading' club.
also, due to this thread, i tried on a pair of my gfs
used panties this morning while she was in the shower.
it was ok.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

To that guy who watches the disney channel.

We got that because we got a satelite dish and my girlfriend likes to watch
it, god I hate the disney channel. Also my nephews arein that age where
cartoons are the best thing since crack and they watch it constantly, I wish
we could get rid of the loving Disney channel, because of it I've missed so
many episodes of Smallville.
How the gently caress can you watch that poo poo? The only funny disney that I've seen
that was funny was the one from

I also don't like kids and my girlfriend loves them, god I don't want
children, loving nature.
I really hate women who are all "oh having my child grown in my belly was
the best thing ever" and all that mother of the earth bullshit, sod off you
old biddy, a child isn't remotely as interesting as technology, a good car
or a weapon would be far more interesting to me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

At night, as I am falling asleep, I think about becoming a vigalante & punishing those who deserve it. I know thata it wouldn't take much & I am sure I would be able to get away with it, but I have a wife now, so that kinda puts the kabash on that deal.

I think about my grandma who passed away eirlier this year alot. I obsess with her final concious moments & the fear that she must have had (she had a hear attack & lack of oxygen severly damaged her brain...she died 4 days later, never regaining conciousness). I feel guilty because I have not visited her grave. She was the world to me, as she raised me and my sister. I hide my feelings from everyone, but I am afraaid I will never get over this.

When I was younger I killed 2 frogs...one by throwing it against a tree & the other by drowning it.

I shoplift on occasion because I feel I am getting overcharged for things.

I've done the whole panty sniffing, sleeping with a cousin, touching a sleeping girl when I was a kid, but I wont bore you with the details.

I take alot of things on the internet personaly.

I get pissed off when people are not as smart as me.

I use to be so afraid of dieing, I wanted to kill myself...figure that one out.

I am predjudiced against most non whites & non americans. I believe if you live in this country, you must be able to speak out language fluently. I believe racial profiling is a good tool that should be used. I believe that blacks are an inferior race & that it shows by their behaviour.

I have slept with over 30 women & I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. I now have genital warts to show for my accomplishment. I once slept with a black woman 10 years my senior just to say thaat I did it. I told her this & she was fine by it, the only thing is, she lived in the shittiest run down neiborhood where there are more burnt down houses then standing ones. It was a scary thing. Driving to her house was like driving through a warzone.

I have tried to gently caress a dog before.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me Father, for I've never confessed.

I hate most of my coworkers. Especially the one that I'm friends with off duty. His high and mighty, holier-than-thou attitude really sets me off, and his utter immunity from the normal NCO poo poo pile of details makes me want to beat him with a tire iron. Not many people realize that though, or at least if they agree with the clik he's in here, they don't know that he gets the praise and awards for my hard work. He has an amazing ability to not work on projects until three days before the suspense, then he wonders why he has to stay late to meet it. Dumbass.

I'm 25, female, and single. The last time I "dated" was my junior year in high school. I've had male friends since, but none that I would have wanted to date. The last time I kissed a guy was over four years ago.

I play online games (WoW now, was EQ before) in my off time. Some of my coworkers think it's stupid. Yeah it probably is but whatever. It beats going out every night and getting plastered.

I haven't done much work this week because of this thread. But it's all good.

I feel sorry for the person who agreed to come here, because I think I sold this place to be so much more than it was by saying it was a great place to learn and do the job. No one should work in this cesspool of political bullshit. Unless you're already cynical and don't care.

I've been tempted on numerous occasions to turn in my supervisor to MEO (military equal opportunity), if just for the pornography filled emails he receives and has to share with said dumbass coworker above. I'm not sure why I haven't yet.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My grandfather almost raped me when I was 9 or 10. The only person
I've ever told doesn't believe me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a boyfriend and I want an open relationship but he is very against that. I think monogamy is stupid because so many people end up cheating anyway, and given the right opportunity with the right guy, I will fool around a little. I don't want to lose my boyfriend, though, because he's the best boyfriend any girl could ask for. I just feel that I'm still young and want to have fun and fool around with other guys. There are some guys I've started talking to, and I give them female pseudonyms in my phone book so that if my boyfriend is ever nosy, he wouldn't suspect anything.

On the surface I look like this really innocent girl but I'm a freak. (Though, after reading some of these confessions, I'm much less of a freak than I thought.) I like to be dominated and tied up and forced to do sexual things. Even if I don't want to do it, the thought that I'm being made to do it gets me instantly turned on. I also love sex, I'd do it at least twice a day if it were up to me.

I got a brazilian wax recently. It HURTS but it's so smooth.

Said brazilian wax was mostly not intended for my boyfriend but another guy.

I'm curious about fooling around with girls because they'd be so gentle and soft. I have a couple of girlfriends that have made their attraction in me clear, but I'm afraid to go through with it because I'm this little innocent girl to them.

Because of my nationality and body type, it's easy to get guys' attentions. I really, really like attention, even though I don't seem like it. Especially from guys and especially attention towards my body or sexual things. I've had low self-esteem until I was 20, and many friends helped pull me out of it. Since then I've realized I've got a lot going on for myself. I get jealous when guys that I'm with or in front of me talk about some other girl that they think is hot, though. I also LOVE to flirt.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

From the time I was 11-15 I had sex with my sister about every single
day. I also hosed almost every single one of her friends, and my
sister usually watched. None of her friends thought this was weird,
so they probably hosed their relatives, as well. I've lied and told
my friends that the first time I had sex was with my first girlfriend,
but it was really with my sister.

My cousin once reported me to DHS for raping her, although I had never
done so.. five years later, she came on to me very strongly, and I had
sex with her. She wanted to stop after about five minutes but I held
her down and took revenge for being questioned in a room with a social
worker for 5 hours. I came in her rear end, and made her wash my cock with
her tongue. She kept after me for weeks before she got the point that
I didn't want anymore. I was 17 years old.

I've got a regular girlfriend, now, and I love her. She likes anal a
lot, which is weird, because most girls say they hate even the thought
of it.

I can suck my own penis, and have done so on more than one occasion to
impress girls. It only worked once to get me in their pants. I am
not gay.

I've been raped twice. Once, I was 7 years old and my babysitter held
me down and stuck a hairbrush up my rear end while she played with my
penis. I didn't like it. The second time, I was in fourth grade, and
my sister's older friend chased me down her hallway and knocked me
down, and tried to have sex with me. I gave up and let her hump me
until she got bored. I've never got over the feeling that I was
overpowered by a girl, and now work out 4 times a week, just so that
it'll never happen again.

Oh, yeah. Once, I made my sister pretend she was asleep while I hosed
her. It was the best sex I've ever had.

<3

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Im only 17 but I feel as if Im a failure, I didnt have one girlfriend
through my whole 16th year of being alive. At 15, I had all 4 of my
girlfriends, loved 2, great friends with one and cheated on one (still
feel bad for it, she holds a grudge). Its just depressing being alone
for over a year and a half. I can relate to some confessions, I do
things to stickout and be noticed. Such as: My hair is blue, it
actually looks pretty good (blue on top, black on sides) Ive seen not
one person with blue hair in this state so I went for it, I also have
whats known as a horizontal transverse lobe piercing (imagine a normal
piercing, but not going through the front of the ear, going through
the side, its almost and inch all of the way through, google it) and
no one has this either. But all of my efforts seem to be in vain, I
sit here night after night rarely doing anything (only sometimes
getting drunk with friends and doing stupid poo poo) just getting kinda
fat, out of shape and mainly depressed. I would complain about the
virgin thing, but Im only 17, Im sure I will lose it before Im 25
(hopeful throught). All of this bring me to almost living in my past,
most of my thoughts are of old girlfriends/friends and what Ive done
wrong, what I could of done instead of other things. This also leads
to thoughts of death even though Im too pussy to go through with it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Okay, here goes. I basically got drummed out of Fark.

This is lame compared to some of the other confessions but this is
something I am too ashamed of to have my SA name attached. I used to
browse Fark alot, it was the first website that I ever visited with
any regularity. One day I tried entering a few photoshop "contests"
and I won one. This lead to me becoming obsessed with the photoshop
contests and getting votes, acceptance and non-existent prizes. I
bought a Total Fark account and I spent heavy amounts of time working
on photoshops. I would enter two or three entries in each contest. I
would refresh rapidly to see my entries votes. I would use tired
cliches just to have a better chance at winning my imaginary prizes.
I actually had a strong "winning" streak for a month or so, being
somewhere on top in every one, sometimes having entries in both 1st
and 2nd place in total votes in the same contest. It became a part
time job to keep up with and follow every single one.

Then I got even dumber. Driven by my thirst for meaningless victory,
I partially plagiarized some of my entries and gave some backhanded
compliments to the competition. People got upset and posted about it,
and I was crushed. It really upset me that someone would be angry at
me over the internet. I made apology posts like an idiot and flooded
the threads for a while, making even more enemies. People would make
parody photoshop entries about how I posted so much and never shut up,
and it made me feel pretty awful. It was SERIOUS BUSINESS to me and I
lost sleep over it on occasion. Eventually I was the butt of enough
jokes from everyone that I just quit.

Later I realized that the whole thing was just really lame and I got
over it in a hurry. I joined SA and lurked for a long long time until
I got the nerve to do some photoshops. Some of my stuff was on the
front page (100% original, non-cliche though). I hardly ever post and
I don't take the internet so seriously. I think I'm better now.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

1) I hosed a fat girl I met online in order to lose my virginity. She
said not to cum on her face. I got semen in her eyes.

2) I've told quite a few people about how disgusting and otherwise
horrible a female goon I know is. She loving deserves it for all the
poo poo she's put people through, and for all of her lies.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 15, a friend and I killed a dog. We were both very unstable
at that point, in entirely different ways, and things fell out that
the dog lost its life. We've both gotten help for our problems, and
have become better people, but that incident bothers me horribly.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I don't know if it's because I am a heartless bastard or what, but I
read poo poo people confess (e.g. I killed two people basically by
accident, I cheated on my girlfriend, I lied to someone, etc. etc.)
and I honestly don't think these things would "eat at my soul" forever
the way these people are making it seem. I might be upset for a
little, then get over it and decide "well I won't do that again and
all is well" or some poo poo. Odds are, if I'm cheating or lying the
person deserves it anyway. Or killed someone.

I would gently caress two of my cousins, no questions asked, and not feel weird
about it. They're too hot, and I see them maybe once a year, what the
gently caress does blood relation even mean at that point? Nothing, that's
what. I would gently caress most of my friends' girlfriends and not feel bad or
sorry about what I did unless we got caught, then I'd be mad at the
bitch for telling (cause we'd n ever get caught in a "omg I walked in
on you") way. My cousin's wife falls under this category too. She's so
hot and such a nice person/good wife that if they got divorced and she
wanted to marry me I'd do it immediately no questions asked.

One of my best friends (male) who is getting married told me in all
seriousness, that he isn't gay, but wants to gently caress me/do gay poo poo with
me, and not with anyone else. He said its not about gay or sex, but
about the relationship we have I guess, and I told him no and we never
really talked about it again. I'm still not totally sure it's not a
joke. But sometimes I gently caress with him when we hang out by grabbing his
rear end or saying how I'd gently caress his sister cause she looks just like him
but with tits. I think it's funny.

Thinking about it, I really don't care about stealing from certain
people and businesses. Maybe I can get my car stolen and collect the
5000$ cash insurance as well as get a new car. I originally wanted to
write just the one, but I can't stop now. I fear people I know will be
able to glean my writing style from this, but then again I don't think
any of them are that smart (Not that I am, I couldnt pick any of their
writing styles out of a lineup, so gently caress 'em).

I've always wanted to gently caress a nun, but a hot young nun, one that's been
a good little girl all her life and for some reason is unwillingly
(not like rape but in a shy "I dont know about this" way) doing sexual
poo poo with me. Maybe its cause I went to a Catholic grade school and
they always had authority over me and I want to be in charge of a hot
one for once. Also, the idea of being a grown woman's first is kind of
hot.

One time my nephew was chasing my dog all around the house and hitting
it and poo poo, so I took his pacifiers away, and told him to stop being
ssuch a little poo poo, then threw them across the house and told him to
go get them - mostly cause he was being a little poo poo, but also cause
I didnt want him to get his hand bit off.. I wouldn't feel bad about
this, and don't feel bad, really, but more embarassed that his
loving dad was standing behind me the whole time and is just too much
of a nice guy to do anything about it. But the kid stopped chasing my
loving dog, so there's a plus, and now I'm nice to the little
rear end in a top hat.

My one friend has a retarded sister and I always make fun of this when
he isnt around and really want to do it to his face, but I dont want
my other friends to be mad at me for hurting his feelings. But she is
retarded.

Ok if my friends who read SA dont know who this is by now they will if
I go on any more so bye bye. Also, I think the people who complain
about Lowtax and the site charges are fuckin stupid, but that tax
story is still hilarious.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

During my first semester of college I made out with a
gay guy. It wasn't hardcore making out, just some
kissing, but it was enough for me to know beyond any
shadow of a doubt that I am not gay. I know that some
people will consider just kissing another guy an act
of homosexuality so I have never mentioned this to my
real life friends. But in my mind it was reassuring in
a way to know that making out with guys didn't do it
for me.

Technically I am a child molestor. My last girlfriend
was 16 when we started loving and I was 21 or 22, I
honestly don't remember. Her parents hated me at
first, but then loved me because I was the most stable
and sane boyfriend she ever brought home. I still have
a topless picture of her taken when she was 17, so I
guess that qualifies as child pornography as well,
though looking at the picture I don't think you would
be able to tell that it was taken before her 18th
birthday and there isn't a time/date stamp on it.

I also cheated on a diffrent girlfriend and to this
day she beleives I was faithful to her 100%. We ended
up breaking up because she had cheated on me and had
the courage to admit her guilt and ask for
forgiveness. Me being the dick that I am told her it
was unforgivable and that I would never do such a
thing to her. This ended that relationship.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Hello, another 'I'm a Pedo, but not a child molester'

I absolutely love young girls more than anything in the world, and it upsets
me greatly that for this reason most people would classify me as a child
molester/rapist.

As a person who loves children, I detest child molesters/rapists more than
any non-pedo could imagine.

I would never do anything to harm or upset a child, and on a couple of
occassions have nearly commited very violent actions towards parents
mistreating their children.

I don't have or watch any kiddie porn, as I think it's absolutely disgusting
that people get off on the suffering of children.

I'm glad to have seen a number of other posts which have shared my view, and
wish people wouldn't believe everything the media says.

How can someone who loves children soo much, that would rather harm himself
than a child, be considered a greater threat to children, than the people
who openly (well, anonymously) admit hating children, and want to hit/kill
them for making noise? (there's been a couple in the thread so far). I
think these are the kind of people who end up having kids and mistreating
them.

thanks for reading.

I've got a question I'd seriously like answered, and this is the first and only opportunity I may ever have to ask, someone PLEASE anonymously respond. Do any of the confessed pedophiles actually think Michael Jackson is really a pedophile, the way he talks, can you relate, or does he seem to be platonicly loving? Here's an unpopular opinion it seems, I don't think he is a pedophile or molester, I kind of believe him.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 03:23

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

Katchura came out of the closet to say:

I live for these stories, I find female serial or not killers extremely fascinating, more so then I should really. I remember profiling NEVADA for fun and falling in love with the thought of doing it everyday for a living.
Im moving to a specific Uni to take criminology in order to study subjects first hand. While not a killer yourself, you obviously harbor some sadistic thoughts up there, and I would be eternally grateful if you threw me a pm or an anonymous e-mail with your own thoughts on, well, yourself really. Certain events in your life that might have triggered your sadism or just going into further detail like the confession.

You NEED to see the movie American Psycho II: All American Girl if not for the fact that Mila Kunis is the hottest person TO EVER WALK THE FACE OF THE EARTH in this movie, but that it sounds directly up your alley. I would venture to say, it might become your favorite movie ever if you see it. (not that it's mine, but from your description, it sounds like the movie was written for you.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm in a lot of pain, and it's slowly eroding me, yet I do very little
to stop it, even though I know there are lots of things I could be
doing.

I do more drugs than anyone knows. Between prescription, over the
counter, and illegal, i almost always have something in me. Sometimes
it feels like i'm living off them. I need to stop this self
destruction.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

If anyone in my family other than my one aunt and one or two cousins
died today I honestly wouldn't care past Friday. If I was getting any
will money, I'd have to give myself bruises before the funeral so I
could poke them when I felt like laughing maniacally.

I also literally just remembered from reading the thread that me and
my cousin when we were like 6 would masterbate each other. She always
spent more time doing me. I'd probably let this cousin do it again
today, since she is smokin hot, has her own car, and has money. Yeah,
I would leech off my cousin for sex, free rides, and whatever cash I
could extract from her.

I am also upset that some forums don't have Forum Superstars lists
cause I think I'd be on it in one or two of them. I love internet
fame, but only on SA, cause I think the community is full of cool
people I wish I knew and hung out with in real life.

I agree with people saying girls in the homegrown secttion of TGC are
mostly fuckin ugly.

I feel more bad about being mean to my dog when I was like 12 or 13
than I do about any lie I've ever told, anything I've ever stolen,
anything I've ever cheated at (or on), pretty much I think that's the
lowest thing I've ever done, and I am making up to it by being super
nice to my new pets.Sorry Ruby .

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once fingered my girlfriend when she was on her period.

I'm 19 and do not know how to ride a bike. I'm somehow proud of this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have been dating a girl for almost three years now and I live with
her. However, there is a girl at work that I have a huge crush on.
Over a year ago I confessed this to her and she said that she had a
crush on me. We started making out in each other's offices all the
time. Then I started seeing her outside of work on occasian and we
started sleeping with each other. After a few months of this we
decided that we should stop. But just these past few weeks we started
talking again and we both stated that we still had huge crushes on one
another. So the kissing has started again. . In my defense, last
year when we started seeing each other, my girlfriend and I were on
the rocks, but no everything is going ok but I'm still seeing this
girl I work with. Oy!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 17 or 18, I ended up in an online relationship with a 14 year old girl in NY. We chatted often though images were never exchanged. I also spoke with her little sister/cousin or something and I always seemed to be on good terms with them. Then one day the little sister/cousin started to get real pissed at me and I never could figure out why. Eventually I called her one day and her dad answered the phone and said never to call again. After that I simply stopped. I just never spoke to her again. What the gently caress was I thinking?!

Oh to be young again.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes i get so bored ill look at any kind of porn. Ill randomly pick a caergory from a free porn search site and stroke. Also i find porn in the Teen category extremely boring, to many "trixie teen" "Bulimic Balinda", and "Shy Sheila" whos "willing to revial it all" if i sign up, how shy can she be.

Except watersports and anything to do with poo poo.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have had a threesome with my ex girlfriend and her 18 year old cousin. I woke up the next day with my arm wrapped around the 18 year old cousin while sleeping naked on my bed. My gf had locked herself in the bathroom and was crying on the floor. I remember very little of it, i was so drunk that i blacked out during it. I actually got my girlfriend to finger and go down on her cousin. I felt dirty. we continued to date for over a year...family get togethers were awkward to say the least.

I have also pulled "duals" with a good friend of mine on more than one occasion. The last one was a disgusting bar skank we picked up at a small town dive bar 10 miles away. She drove her fiancee's work van to his place. I hosed her in the rear end, lost my hard on because i was drunk...ran in the other room, lubed up with *water* and came back and blew my load on her face while he was nailing her. I have no idea what her name is or what she even looks like...i was hosed up.

Ive also done insane amounts of cocaine. Ive tried crystal meth twice. I will never go back to that.

I have an amish cousin...she is insanely hot and i think i could have nailed her...i have no idea why i didnt. i really really should have.

had an ex girlfriend who had a bed wetting problem....one day i snapped and rubbed her face in it while shouting "bad, just BAD!! Do you see what you did? Do you see the mess you made!!!" just like you would to a brand new puppy.

I stabbed my best friend...he got over it...we are still friends..he shouldnt have hosed my gf...

i also hold a high profile job and am very respected in my community...no one knows any of this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a hot girlfriend and we have a great relationship. She is also
a goon. We also have a very open relationship, we are swingers. We
are also both bi and enjoy it. I have one small problem, I am an
attractive (5' 9", 145#, brown eyes and hair, athletic), young (23)
guy, but I can't seem to pick up anyone for the life of me. I have
very little flirting skills apparently and yet I constantly hear
people telling my G/F that I am hot. I feel that it would be very
difficult for me to discuss this with my G/F without her
unintentionally embarassing me in public trying to "teach" me how to
flirt and get some action. I know this is lame but it is really
putting a damper on all the sex I "could" be having. Any
suggestions/flames are welcome.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My secrets:

I like to wear women's clothes when I jerk off because I think it helps me visualze women easier. Like instead of just thinking, I dress to look like one (even make fake titties with whatever I can find, balloons work well) then imagine myself doing it with a woman wearing what I am. It might not make sense but it makes me so freaking horny.

I'm 100% sure that I'm straight, though.

Also, I enjoy a good, sexy hentai drawing as much as a sexy woman.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

[...]I am a horny, young, chubby, slightly insane girl.
Internet males would eat me alive and that scares me shitless.
Listen up, you fucktards. Not all women will cheat on you, rob you of
all your money, demand all your time and attention and then leave you
in the most spectacular way possible.
I'm 19, and I love sex. I really do. I love it more than anything. I
crave it constantly. You think that alone would make any guy want me,
but they don't. Apparently all they care about is the fact that I'm a
little bit chubby, average-looking at best, and bipolar. This turns
ANY guy off almost instantly and I'm sick of it.
So to all you mysoginistic Internet Males, if you just took a few
seconds to look beyond your superficial (and entirely unrealistic)
expectations, you'd realise that girls like me are EVERYTHING you are
looking for, you're just too loving dumb and small-minded to see it.

Less ranting now, and more confessions. Feel free not to post the first part.

- I love rough sex. I love to be tied up and totally hosed senseless.
This doesn't seem to wierd, but it is. Why? I was raped when I was 16.
Because of that experience, I now really enjoy taking it rough.
Looking back on that entire experience, I can honestly tell you that
the only reason I still remember it so well is because I kind of
enjoyed it.

- I want to kill my brother's girlfriend. She's nothing but a
money-grabbing little whore and the only reason I at least act civil
towards her is because she's the mother of my nephew. I've planned it
out and everything, and one day, if she pisses me off enough, I just
might do it.

- I am not ashamed to admit that I really loving enjoy cybersex. I love it.

- I'm a dominatrix. None of my friends know this. My boyfriend gives
in to my every desire and for that I will always love him. I just love
to do things to him, hurt him and hear him screaming my name. It's so
loving hot, I'm getting a funny feeling down there just thinking
about it. I may have to get myself off now.

- Most of these confessions are about sex. I think I may be addicted,
and people tell me to get help, but I don't se the point. Sex is good
- why give it up?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

There are so many...

Early on when I was in college, I fell asleep in a friend's room. I woke up to my friend and his girlfriend talking about me. Playing at still sleeping I listened for about 15 minutes while they talked about what they truly thought about me. They were not really my friends thereafter, they never knew why. At the time I brushed off their statements very casually. Years later several of their statements seem to echo accusingly from my memories. I truly hate him for saying those things about me. I hate myself for possibly making some of them true.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The adventures of a thrill-seeker.

When I was 15 I went to the home of this girl I was kinda-sorta dating. She was babysitting a nine-year-old neighbour of hers, who had come to her house. Her parents and the girl's parents were out together. After the young'un went to sleep, I screwed the girl I was sort-of dating, on the floor of her family's living room. She told me much later that she found out the nine-year-old woke up during the night, and not only saw us, but quietly watched us for the majority of the event. Creepy.

When I was 16 I was out at about 3am, walking home from the house of my then-girlfriend. I happened to see two cars left overnight in the elementary school parking lot not far from my house. I found a pair of fist-sized rock and smashed the passenger side windows of both cars. I then ran away, in case someone had been nearby and heard the smashing. I hid and returned ten minutes later; nobody had come to investigate. So I went over, unlocked the doors, and sat in the cars one after the other. I rifled the glove compartments and so forth. I found nothing of value except a couple dollars in change, which I kept, and a few audio cassettes, which I did not take. I went home.

More recently I was stumbling home drunk with a friend from a night on the town (to walk from the bus station to my house is an hour's walk) and for kicks I pulled on the handles of random cars. Some were unlocked. I found several packs of cigarettes inside one that I stole and plan on selling for a few bucks each. There was a bike left in the front yard of a house, so my friend grabbed it and started biking instead of walking. Also, one of the cars had a standard transmission, so I shifted it into neutral (maybe reverse, I was drunk and loving with the stick in the dark) and pushed it out of the driveway into the street, perpendicular to the flow of traffic. It pretty much blocked the whole street. My buddy and I then continued on my way and minutes later some punk teens in a riced-out black car drove by and shouted at us; they actually said "You guys think you're hardcore?" and then mentioned the car in the street. I shouted something back and was told to shut the gently caress up; then they floored it and drove off.

We worried that maybe someone had called the cops, even the guys who saw us. Fearful that they would be looking for two guys, one on a bike, walking on that street (it was a long street and we had 30 minutes to go) we ditched the bike in a park and took another route home.

I hate car ricers in general and like to gently caress with them. I dislike custom badges, custom taillights, and custom exhausts that sound like a drat train engine at 3am. I deal with all of them in their own way.

Rice badges annoy me. These are things like a "GT-R" badge on a car that has no "GT-R" version. The Nissan Skyline GT-R is a very hot Nissan vehicle, and I recently saw a Nissan Sentra (Nissan's low-end economy car) with a GT-R badge on it, either fake or stolen. Automotive enthusiasts will know what I am talking about and why it's so irritating. I tend to pry these off and sell them to other ricers at the college for a dollar each.

Another one I like to get are red Honda "H" badges. Red "H" badges are only supposed to be on Japanese-specification "Type R" vehicles. Very, VERY few of these actually exist in North America because they are neither built nor imported here. The only genuine Type-Rs in North America are privately imported at great expense, and are not left in suburban driveways, owned by teenagers. Ignorant, stupid teens trying to impress their equally ignorant, stupid friends buy fake or stolen red "H" badges to put on their inferior American-specification Civics, Integras, and Preludes. I like to remove those.

Custom taillights irritate me. The most popular type is cleared-out Altezza-style taillights. Other kinds don't bother me, and sometimes they even look cool. But every third Civic around here has cleared-out Altezzas, and they loving blind me when I'm behind them in traffic. I smash them at night whenever possible. They're a damned hazard on the road.

Custom exhausts that are obscenely loud are maybe the worst because I live close to a street commonly used at night as an illegal drag strip. Every Friday night, every Saturday night, and usually a couple nights during the week, these noisy pieces of poo poo rev up and down the road, speeding, driving recklessly, endangering themselves and others, and disturbing the sleep of my neighbourhood from about 11pm until 3am. If anyone calls the cops, the street racers scatter and only one or two are caught, and the night continues to be disturbed by whatever the hell goes on down there with the police.

Anyway, the point is that when I find a riced car in a driveway at night with a big exhaust extending past the bumper I walk up and stand on it, pushing it down to the ground. The tip stays about 1/16 to 1/8 of an inch above the asphalt, just barely clearing the ground. I imagine that in the morning, something funny happens when the guy tries to back out of his driveway. The curb along the street becomes a lip about half an inch high along each driveway, requiring that half-inch of clearance to get over safely. If the tip of the exhaust pipe is only a sixteenth of an inch off the ground, bad things happen at this point. Picture it.

Also, on Monday I brought a girl to my house to smoke weed and fool around, and the last thing she said before my penis entered her mouth was "I gotta say, your dick's a lot bigger than my boyfriend's."

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have misrepresented myself to on an Internet forum that I really enjoy visiting. Everyone there thinks I'm in my 30s, I even posted real pictures of myself. I've never claimed anything rediculous or exciting. I've based my persona there on my own personal experiences in my 18 years of existance, yet no one is the wiser.

I've made almost 30,000 posts in that forum over the years. I even moderate those forums, and the company that runs them (makers of an excellent MMOG about a war, to be ultimately anonymous) doesn't seem to have a clue. This is especially troubling, considering all of the friends I've made there, my status as a serious regular and, I'm told, a 'local celebrity,' and the fact that other than this dark, seemingly insignificant secret, I'm extremely helpful and useful over there.

I've donated much needed cash to this company for the betterment of the game and community. I've literally saved cash to give them, instead of buying a new car (yeah...). I've been with them since they launched. Yet, it is spelled out in the rules (the same ones I enforce in the community), that my offense is grounds for my account to be terminated.

The community is a tight-knit group of right-wing whackos, yet I love them (I'm a liberal). They'd never let me live it down, and many of the newer ones would beg for my banning if it were to come to the surface.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Back a few years ago when the DC sniper was running around, I got drunk and reported one of my neighbors to the FBI. While I admit that I was a bit drunk, that in no way means that I regret doing it. This was a guy who:
- was unemployed, hence had lots of free time
- was home with custody of his daughter the weekends when nothing happened, always gone when things did
- lived in the neighboring building, from which a BB was shot one night, missing a friend's face by six inches before embedding itself in the vinyl siding.
- was known by me to be a violent alchoholic and threaten violence, including leaving a bar once (upon being kicked out for starting a fight and telling bouncers that he was a federal agent) for stating "I'm going to my car to get my loving gun and shoot all your asses."
- and he did own a gun, and he did keep it in his car.
- and this gun was an illegally-owned AR-15, the same gun officers thought was doing the shooting.

I know this sounds retarded and juvenile (Hurrr he's unemployed, therefore he's the sniper?), but gently caress it. There's more to it now that I've forgotten, and I still don't feel bad or stupid for doing it. Even the cops that came to talk to me admitted that, although they quickly ruled out my neighbor as a suspect, they thanked me for giving one of the few good tips they'd had all month, and noted that this guy will likely have a star by his name for quite some time in case he gets into any trouble in the future.

I'm not confessing this here because I feel bad about it, I'm confessing it here because only anonymously would I ever tell strangers about doing it, because I'd rather he never find out that because of me there's an FBI file with his name on it.

Hahaha, oh I hope, and believe this post is true.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I wrote what quickly became one of the most popular threads ever on SA. Every word of it was a lie.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I can't break up with my girlfriend. We are both goons and I used this thread as a way to try and do it. I made up a story that had her cheating on me. I was going to say I read the story, start a big fight and then break up with her. I am such a pussy.

Jesus I can totally believe this, what an innovative way to break up, I commend you.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've done many horrible things in my life but these are the ones I
feel truly guilty about.

When I was 13 I was babysitting two kids. She was 11 he was 7, I
was only there because their parents were coming home very very late.
We all grew up together and I had a mad crazy crush on her. We all
fell asleep in the living room, when she dozed off I covered her up
with a blanket and something in my brain snapped. Stared at her for
like 5 minutes, then I slowly squeezed her right butt cheek. I have
no idea why I did, but it was the most confusing moment in my life. I
thought I'd feel some great rush of sexual pleasure when I touched a
girls butt but nothing happened. I just got this horrible sinking
feeling in my chest and I get that feeling every single time I think
about it.

About two weeks later they needed me to watch them again but she
had a friend over. She said she taught the dog a trick. So we were
sitting in the living room and she got in the fetal position but on
her knees, and the dog ran up and started humping her. We all hooted
and howled at how ridiculous it was and I pretended to cover my face
while I was secretly watching. After the dog incident I was never
asked to babysit them again.

Sometime during thed summer of my 21st birthday, a friend and I
got outrageously drunk and sstarted walking through the town because
the rest of our friends ditched us. About halfway home there was a
church, I giggled as I ran up to the door and all of a sudden it
opened. Someone didn't close the door all the way when they locked
it. While the church was dark my friend and I ran around stupidly
between the pews till we got to the office of the
minister/preacher/whatever. We found two of those gown things he
wears. I wore the white one with big poofy shoulders and he wore a
dark red one. Also in the closet were two milkjugs filled with water
and a sharpie cross drawn on them. We each took a jug and filled 'em
to the brim with our liquor laden piss and put them back.
We walked out of the chuch in our new attire heading back to my
place where there were two bottles of vodka waiting for us. Well,
about half an hour later I mentally sobered for about 10 seconds.
We're wearing the church clothes we stole and being loud and drunk in
the street. We ran the rest of the way home in a panic. We dug a
hole in the frozen ground and tried to burn the stuff and ended up
just burying it. We then spent the rest of the night sitting on the
couch drinking vodka trying to figure out what we'd have to do so God
didn't kill us in our sleep.

Pimpsolo fucked around with this message at 06:21 on Aug 25, 2005

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 04:23

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

David Thorpe <davidthorpe@somethingawful.com> to me
More options 4:57 pm (6 hours ago)

Livestock got incredibly drunk at a goonmeet at my house a couple of years ago and WOULD NOT LEAVE. Everyone else was gone, it was just him and me. I told him as politely as possible that he had to go, but he said he was too trashed to drive and he had no ride home. I offered to give him a ride, but he said he lived two hours away. He said "I'll just crash here, if that's okay," and I really had no choice but to tell him he could, because I wasn't going to drive him two hours to his place, since he'd probably throw up in my car (he had already thrown up in my bathtub). I reluctantly told him he could sleep on the couch.

I went to sleep, but was awakened an hour later by him sitting at the foot of my bed crying. I pretended to be asleep, even though he was obviously trying to get my attention. The next morning I told him to get out and take a bus home, and he was a complete prick about it, and said I "betrayed" him.

Josh Boruff <livestock@somethingawful.com> to me
More options 5:08 pm (6 hours ago)

One of my best friends made the mistake of dating DannyManic (He met me
but doesn't know I'm a goon) and she was absolutely destroyed after
their relationship. He literally used her up and spit her out like
chewing tobacco.

She said he could never finish in bed and was constantly awkwardly
adjusting the radio, always yelling about not having the proper
ambience. She also said that he'd often wear headphones during sex and
just kind of zone out, sometimes getting up and walking away to sit
alone in the bathtub for hours. When she started to complain about his
weirdness, he became physically abusive, throwing things at her and
pushing her out of chairs whenever he saw her sitting down, saying "pigs
sit on the floor." He would call her a "mongrel" and tell her she was
"chronically and persistently obese and that no one would ever love
her." She needed therapy in the end, and to this day he still calls her
to hang out and go see a movie. She's afraid to answer the phone.

Sorry, I didn't get there yet. Too funny, seriously.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 04:30

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

Epic Proportions came out of the closet to say:

http://www.internetconfessional.net

Oh man that's neat. I hope you have some process where you read and approve or deny posts, as well as check for duplicates. I'll tell you, if you don't, your website is going to look like my inbox. My inbox is not pretty.

Awesome though, really nice design too, good luck with that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I want to die.
I realized that I was gay sometime in the eighth grade. Durring my senior year of high school I tried to come out to a good friend but he thought I was playing a joke and within minutes told everybody about the awsome trick I had played on him. I smiled and laughed and walked straight back into the closet. Now I'm in my first week of college and this is the first time I've discussed my sexuality since.
All I want is to be loved and held by another man. But I'm afaraid that I'll be alone and closeted for the rest of my life. I've been contemplating suicide for the last six months and I dont think ill be alive this time next year.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned:

I just don't know why, but I just love team-killing in Counter-Strike:Source. Example, in Glassfloor, if I see a pubbie, I just shoot the glass where he is standing on. Then I laugh uncontrollably, then for some odd reason, I don't know why, but i feel sorry and sad for that pubbie, seeing his feeble attempt to TK me, while me and other people gang on him. Its funny, but can be sad at times. I just had to get this out...anonymously.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a boyfriend but from time to time, I post ads on craigslist for guys. So far, I haven't done anything with any of these guys yet except flirt. It's really exciting to me. But given the chance and the right guy, I know I'll cheat on my boyfriend. I talk to them on aim and sometimes on the phone.

I'm overweight, though not by much, and on areas where a little extra weight can be good :P So guys that like curvy girls love me. I use this to my advantage when I post ads, and I sound very confident, but secretly I'm hoping that if they were to ever meet me, they wouldn't think I was a huge mammoth. I have a lot of insecurity issues.

I would go gently caress a guy that I met online today but he's not picking up his phone. I guess I'll just go to my boyfriend's house.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I want to kill everyone I love so I don't have to worry about them anymore.

I will be flat out: I don't believe you want to kill anybody. I also think that you hate sending Christmas, and Thank You, and every yearly formal card that has to be sent just like I do, so I don't send anything. Maybe this year I'll send my extended family random confessions.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have fallen in deep lust with a man 5+ years older than me, living thousands of miles away in Italy. I met him on a popular website. We exchange emails and txts throughout the day and night, and we speak on the phone frequently. But he is currently in a serious, two-year relationship with a very successful, older woman in his city.

Despite that knowledge, I've sent him pink pictures of me in new sets of CK or DKNY panties & bras, and then I send him the panties via fedex. I've never done anything so brazen. We talk about kink and sex all the time. I know he won't ask me to stop, but I know I should. It feels so wrong, but he makes me feel so sexy, and I can't help myself. I know in the end we are just using each other, but it still hurts when I know I can't have him to myself, and it will only end in heartbreak. but that kind of turns me on, too.

Also, one time in college, my boyfriend wanted anal. we had done it before, so it was no big deal, and it turns me on anyway. But this time that he wanted it, and i felt ill because it was the second day of my period, so I didn't want to. I tried to get out of it, but he forced me into position, and I just gave into it.

So about two minutes after the beginning of anal, something felt odd to me. I looked behind me, and saw that his eyes were closed. He had failed to noticed that he had clearly 'tapped a line'. He must have thrusted like at least 10 times into it, because my poo poo was all over his dick and balls. It was gross. Everytime after that, I would only agree to anal in the bathtub. Looking back, I'm glad I poo poo on his dick because he was a fag. If anyone is jerking off to this GET OUT.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned...

I have never shared my feelings about this with anyone, ever.

I have been married for 5 years. I love my wife dearly. I am from the west coast, and she is not. She wants to move back home to be near her family and it has been a constant source of contention between the two of us. This is one of those problems that crop up in a long term relationship, and often there is no real resolution.

Her family lives in a liberal hippy dreadlock utopia and I hate it there. For years she would bring it up, knowing full well that it would be an argument. She would say things like "I know you don't want to do this, but I expect you to support me." Her basic attitude was that even though I thought it was a bad idea, I should act like it was the best thing ever because she wanted to do that.

Her idea to move was based purely on emotion though, and her feelings about living close to mom and dad were more important than the fact that we'd have to give up our house, our (good, well-paying) jobs, and our friends to move to a economically depressed region with lovely jobs and no industry. On top of that most those east coast states have ridiculous taxes (Her parents pay about 5x as much property tax as we do), car inspections, school taxes, and toll roads, and retarded gun laws.

I would tell her I didn't want to the specific town that her folks lived in, and so she'd say "Oh, well maybe we can just find something on the east coast that's within driving distance." But then at least once a week I'd find her doing job and apartment searches in the town where her parents lived. She acted like she was "just looking" but i'm not a god damned idiot.

I finally got so sick of hearing about it that I just told her that if it was so important, she could get her own apartment out there, and come visit me when she wanted. She flipped out, and yelled at me that I was being hurtful, but I didn't give a gently caress. I wanted to scream at her "YOU'RE loving 30 YEARS OLD, loving GET OVER IT!" I got sick of hearing this poo poo because in my opinion, at 30+ you should be mature enough to not have to live right next to your parents. I guess I held the mistaken belief that when you marry someone, you are dedicated to them first.

In reality, she didn't care about anything but being closer to her family and friends, and expected that I would instantly be friends with people she grew up with. But I knew that basically I would be odd man out if we moved. It'd be her spending every moment with her family, and I'd basically be on my own if I didn't feel like hanging out with them.

Now, we're at the point where she wants to have kids, but I've put it off for so long because I half-thought this whole thing would end in divorce. She's finally accepted the fact that moving is a bad idea, but every chance she gets (when talking about staying here) she says "Well, since you don't want to move..." which is her backhanded way of blaming me for this situation, even though she came to me and talked about staying after she finally realized moving wasn't such a good idea.

People might think I'm a selfish rear end in a top hat after reading this, but we haven't had a single vacation (longer than 3 days) together the entire time we've been married because she always uses her vacation time to go visit her family. She gets all bent out of shape if I don't want to go with her, but vacation time is meant to be enjoyed, not spent sitting in the middle of loving nowhere listening to her talk to high school buddies about all the fun poo poo they did. One time when I went to visit, I was sitting in our room playing gameboy and she got mad because I wasn't being "sociable". She actually said to me "Well even if there's nothing to do I expect you to enjoy it, because we're out here visiting MY family".

What the gently caress is that poo poo, I would never say that to her, or expect her to act like that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been married for 5.5 years and in the last 2 years I've only had
sex 3 times. She's the only person I've ever slept with but I'm
seriously considering cheating. I don't think we're in love anymore
and the only reason we're together is our two beatiful children. If I
think I could get custody of them I'd divorce her in a heartbeat.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I masturbate to bukkake, bondage, and s&m porn regularly. I can't just jerk off to the nude female body, they have to be verbally abused or handled excessively rough, like being slapped and gagging etc. I also have a fetish for goth girls with a lot of piercings and tattoos. Nothing excessively tasteless but I do enjoy rubbing one out to a chick that has nipple piercings and more.

I also hate porn that has women with horrible boob jobs. The best/worst example I can give is Donita Dunes. If you've ever seen her it's like her breasts are cantaloupes stuffed inside of a tube sock. It's just disgusting.

I am awed by my abilitly to feign interest and friendliness to customers where I work. I will be all smiles and happy but after they leave or I walk away I will curse them under my breath or in my head. Usually calling them assholes or cunts.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I grew up in the same house until I graduated from 6th grade. My
family moved away to a different house where I lived until I moved
away to college. At my first house though, I left a big box there
before leaving.Here are just some of the contents:
- a giant loving sword I found in a field, complete with sheath.
- a gun made out of k-nex that fits around your entire arm
- a goosebumps book
- a Mystery Box. I say mystery cause I can't remember what I put in
it. Could have been sea shells. Maybe my Mighty Max collection. Zbots
perhaps. Possibly hundreds of never-sharpened pencils. It's a
surprize!
- a pocket knife i once stole from a store.
- many more things.

I'm confessing because it's really well-hidden. I don't think anyone
will ever find it. If for some reason, you live on Redbrick Rd. in
Arlington Tx, say so. I can't remember the address number. I was
really big into the Boxcar Children, and there was a book involving a
treasure hidden in their house, and there was a whole series of
awesome clues to find it. I did the same thing in my old house before
I left.

I was an adventurer and explorer of my neighborhood. I knew every nook
and cranny and found my way into places I should never have been in.
There's probably a lot of cool stuff in that box, believe me.

I don't understand why this is anonymous, but it's cool, approved.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me for I have sinned,

I�ve told my girlfriend lots of stories about my sex life before I met her. Those were lies, I lost my virginity to her. After five years I�ve still not had the courage to tell her.

My girlfriend felt very insecure, frightened and depressed when I met her. This came from her being raped the year before I met her. When she told me I considered dumping her. In the end I stayed because I figured I could gently caress her if I was nice.

That�s right, I treated a poor depressed and raped girl the best way I could just so I would get the chance to gently caress her.

Since then I�ve cheated twice on her. Both were affairs that lasted a few months. Somehow I managed to lead double lives at the time. I�m terribly afraid that she�ll find out one day and how she will react. One of the girls was and still is one of my best friends. We just did it for sex and laughs and mutually agreed to stop when she found herself a regular boyfriend. She often sees my girlfriend though, she despises her and I�m afraid that she will one day tell all just to spite her.

The other girl fell madly in love with me. I got a kick out of it and lied to her about having the same feelings. When all the lies got very difficult to keep up and I tired of the game I dumped her in a bar. She�s understandingly rather upset with me, and I�m terribly afraid that some kind of payback will come. She is one of the best friends of a flat mate of mine and therefore is around quite often. I know that she told everyone about it, but somehow everybody has decided not to tell my girlfriend.

Stupid thing is that both affairs were strictly for the sex, but I never managed to really enjoy that part. I just wanted to experience sex with other woman, yet at the same time I felt guilty and missed the tenderness, familiarity and love that I have with my girlfriend.

I feel like an rear end in a top hat about it. More so because deep inside I know that I will cheat again given the chance, it works like a drug and having a double life is one of the biggest kicks I ever had.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me Poseidon for I have sinned.

I bought a precooked crab from the supermarket yesterday and was really bored as I was the only one in the house all evening. I couldn't bare the thought of eating the poor crab (it was an already dead pre cooked crab) as it was my only companion for the evening.

I named him Craig the crab, he for some reason had a Welsh accent and had an incredible knack of telling extremely cheesy jokes about other seaside creatures.

I ate sausages instead that evening. I think I might eat Craig this evening.

You should get with the creators of Family Guy or something, they will write a cartoon sitcom based on your life.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I dream of being shot, stabbed or getting some sort of non-std disease just for the attention.
I fantasise about 14 year old girls (I'm 21).
Some days I feel like going out and shooting random people.
I think all religious people are just plain stupid.
I hate huge breasts.
I believe a womans place is at home, gently caress this equal rights bullshit (this has caused me to loose several female friends as I like to voice my opinion)
If I see a black guy I cross the road.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I had a kitten in my early teenage years and I would chase him around, corner him and attack just to see him hiss and spit at me. He died recently, he lived to about 12 years old, but he was never a normal cat, very nervous of people and animals, never went outside and probably lived a miserable life because of me.
He was also very affectionate towards me, which made it worse.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've lived with my girlfriend for over 2 years now and have never said 'I love you' because I don't like to lie...

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I completely settled for my wife, I could of found somenoe thinner, prettier and less needy but wasn't sure if I'd find anyone else itnerested in me so I settled. And while I do love her, I always have in the back of my head that my life could of been very very different and more fun than it is now. As such, sometimes it makes me quite depressed but I could never never tell her because she would be crushed.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am so into girls with red/pitch black hair and glasses I will completely ignore a girl without those two features. Its starting to go from a fetish to a serious problem and I have no idea how to fix it. Also, I cry if a bee stings me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a woman, but horribly misogynistic. I think I learned this from my dad. Thanks dad!

It's not that I think that other women *can't* be smart, it's just that I usually assume that they're not, unless they show otherwise. Kind of like a guilty-until-proven-innocent kind of thing.

Obviously, I place myself in the category that can "show otherwise." I feel like that character from the Chappelle's Show - the black man who is in the KKK, because he's blind doesn't know he's black. It's like i'm hating on women, because no one's pointed out to me yet that I AM one.

As a sidenote, I think I have a lot of issues from growing up with a misogynistic father. I'm excelling a male-dominated profession now, and you could probably deduce that it stems from some sort of subconscious desire to prove to my dad that I'm good enough. I also have issues with relationships with men. Go me! And again, thanks dad!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was younger and before I knew what sex was I would routinely play with my legos and make lego monsters that would then eat lego women and those old plastic doll babies you used to be able to buy.

I also fantasized about Rainbrow Brite being captured and abused (again I think this was before I knew what sex was).

I am a pedophile. I am turned on by young girls, though as I've grown older so too has the age group to which I'm attracted. Now it's around 12-17. When I was younger, I went through all the clothing magazines and cut out pictures of young girls modelling underwear. When I was around 12 I convinced an 8 year old girl in the neighborhood to show me her bad parts, and I touched them once I think.

Also I fantasize about rape, although I don't want to actually rape someone as the thought of making someone unhappy bothers me. I just want someone who enjoys "being raped" to allow me to rape them. Yes, that sounds stupid, but that's the way it is.

I've masturbated to The Little Mermaid. I've masturbated to rainbrow brite (both in rape situations).

I've masturbated to animal porn. Women loving horses, dogs, etc.

I've had sex with three married women. I've cheated on my girlfriend multiple times with different people.

I used to shoplift, but it was mainly because I had no money to buy things with. When I got a job, the shop lifting ended.

There's more but that will do for now.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love my partner very much but sometimes it feels like there is something missing. I try to do silly and fun things but they seem to go unnoticed. For instance I worked hard on learning to shoot ping pong balls out of my crotch but he just wasn't very interested. It kind of hurt my feelings.

I'd do anything for him. I'd just like to play more.
If you are reading this honey: LOG OFF AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME, GODDAMMIT!!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When my girlfriend asks me "Am I getting fat?" I always answer no, even though she is.
When my girlfriend asks me "Will you still love me if I get fat?" I always answer yes, even though I'll probably break up with her if she gets fat.
Unless she goes on a diet, I forsee an E/N thread on it's way.

Also I stole a dollar in change from my grandmother once.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I hate all the other female goons. I want to be the only one. I want to be a rarity that is fawned over, especially since I am pretty and smart. I'm not an attention whore, but I kind of wish I was so people would pay attention to me.

I also hate the female hosts of shows on G4. Mostly for the same reasons.

Wait, because you're a female G4 Tech host and you're jealous of the others? That's awesome! Kind of.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Since I was very small, I always felt like I was being watched and admired from afar by everybody. Even at the age of 6, I was incredibly shy and self conscious but at the same time always felt like a superstar even while just going about my ordinary life.

If people were obviously looking at me or I was in any way the centre of attention, I was painfully shy and couldn't get up to accept awards or do, say, gymnastics or anything where I'd be the centre of attention - if only for five seconds - until I realized I drew more attention to myself by not going to the stage to accept meaningless certificates and such. I'm still bad at anything if I'm the centre of attention.

I have a lot of varied talents and was better at most things than my peers until I graduated high school... I never ended up doing anything with any of my abilities. I dropped out of university twice. I am now extremely mediocre. I'm doing a job a retard could do because I always think I could die at any moment and that none of that stuff matters.

I'm 28 now and despite my retarded job and not having done anything with any of my latent abilities, I still feel like a superstar, like I'm the coolest person ever. When I see myself on film I always hate what I see because I don't look like how I imagine I do. Clearly I'm delusional because film reflects reality. Sometimes this depresses me but then I go into denial again and all is well.

Friends of friends over the years have often said things to my friends, who have repeated to me, about how I'm the 'coolest person', and I secretly agree while scoffing at those sentiments. Part of me is amazed I hear this so often, and part of me isn't.

All my friends over my entire life have always sort of worshipped me which only reinforces this secret arrogance. The people who are most vocal about my awsomeness I dislike the most.

I've always been obsessed with death and have been constantly afraid I was about to die in many varied and gruesome ways. But when at 16 a friend died in a car accident, I realized sudden death wouldn't strike twice and I suddenly grew very depressed. I would draw this dead friend repeatedly in what I imagined were her final moments, with her face ripped off from going through the windscreen. I didn't get enjoyment from this but couldn't stop thinking about it.

Somewhere along the way I wished it was me that was dead and I tried unsuccessfully killing myself a few times, but managed to keep the drug overdoses under wraps, and the car 'accident' remained exactly that since I 'couldn't remember what happened'. When death didn't work when it bloody well should've, I turned to harder drugs.

I eventually introduced a good friend to heroin because I needed a new hookup, she only did speed back then, which I wasn't interested in at the time. I told her how great heroin was and made her boyfriend get some for me. Within weeks she was doing it too which I was happy about, but soon she was doing lots more than me and within months she was a junkie. I only ever used for 'fun'. After a while she became a prostitute and I stopped talking to her and stopped using heroin. I don't know what's happened to her but I feel a bit bad since it was pretty much my fault.

Not long after that, the speed in town improved massively. I got a guy from work to start scoring meth for me, and immediately introduced him to needles. I always only used a few times a week but he very quickly became a multiple times a day, every day, injector.

He had a thing for me and gave me great deals, but I never did anything in return except be interested in what he was talking about. One time he tried cracking on to me and I laughed it off as though I had no idea what he was getting at, like a previous confessioner did. Our friendship remained pretty good because I pretended I didn't remember anything from that night. And he didn't try anything else.

He was a great guy, but between eventually deciding after a few years I was using too much and suspecting he was no longer giving me good deals, I decided to quit after two not so good batches in a row. By default I stopped seeing him since over the years I'd changed jobs and only saw him while scoring.

Recently I found out he lost his house and is now living with family but I don't want to get back in contact even though I always told him friendship is more important than drugs. I lied. I feel bad about that too.

I don't believe in religion, but somewhere between heroin and meth I started believing in god. I don't talk about this with anybody. I just say I believe in 'something' and leave it at that, if it ever comes up. But the truth is I'm constantly talking to god and making him do things for me to prove the fact he's real. Well, I don't anymore because he's proved himself a hundred times now, but I can't stop saying in my head 'gently caress I love you god, look at that sunset!' and 'thanks for getting me home safely' and stuff like that. I talk to god constantly and he talks back. Maybe I'm schizo. This is all top secret. But I can't bring myself to do any harm to anybody anymore. I once stole some rare lego pieces from these kids, and a lot of things from big chains. I don't steal any more, ever.

Oh yeah, when I play first person shootemups online I always pretend I'm a guy so I don't have teenage boys crack onto me. I've been with my guy for 8 years even though he's never told me he loves me. I love him to death and hope to stay with him until I die. I only told him I loved him once, when I was really drunk. He is awesome in every way but I still don't know if he feels the same way about me.

I can't successfully masturbate because I've always been worried people are watching me. If not people, then ghosts.

These days I drink a LOT whenever I'm alone.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

i am a loving gambler.

i've had to pawn many things, including my loving wedding ring because i needed the rush to max bet the video poker machine. ocassionally, i buy it back, but it results in my selling it again.

my husband doesn't even trust me with his atm card, because i might drive over to AC and play a little bit more video poker.

i have put thousands into online casinos for the thrill of trying to clear an online bonus and be up.

i'll never be up, but i can't stop.

if my husband knows i am still gambling, it'll break his heart, and my daughter's.

sometimes i think of ending it all.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in 4-5th grade I would skip school and when no one was home I'd take my mom's bra and put it on,then I'd put two basketballs in there. (yes they fit). Then I shove a pillow in at the bottom, lie on the floor and pretend to give birth.
When I was in 3rd grade I filled an entire 70page notebook front to back, tightly packed, with "I want to die, why won't I die".
When I was in late elementary school I'd draw pictures of people having sex in the weirdest postitions. Then burn them, shred them or chuck 'em down the disposal.
When I was in 7th grade my mom was very strick with me saying I could use tampons. So I'd use them anyway, run outside and downstairs into the garage, guzzle half a can of soda and take the tampon out and stick in there. THen I'd put a new one in. I'd throw the can out. But it was my stupid fault she found I wa using them when I forgot to flush.
When I was 6 I ran into my parents room and turn my mom's vibrator on then throw it back into the head board cabinet thing, close it, lock it, then run away. I'm not sure if my mom knew I did that.
When I was in 7th grade I went downstairs looking for them, I peered into the garage and they were buttfucking. I ran upstairs, stared at the wall and didn't talk for two days.
Maybe a month after that I was reading a harry potter book in the dining room and my dad was watching porn in the living room. What the gently caress, seriously.

When I was in kindergarten I'd hang out with a friend of mine at her house and we'd play house. But not normal house, no, we'd "seal walk" with our legs "glued together" and act like seal people. Also we'd act retarded. Yes, we'd play this a lot. It was my idea.
My friend's mom called me morbid when I was 8.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I still suck my fingers when I'm sleepy. It's liking sucking my thumb, but I suck my middle two fingers on my left hand. I also twirl my hair into knots.
I also snore while I'm sleeping, and as my ex-boyfriend pointed out, it's amazing how I manage to snore AROUND my fingers. I'm really self conscious about all these things though and I'll only suck my fingers in front of someone I really trust or know really well.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Im well endowed, I know when I have sex with girls they are uncomfortable and in a lot of pain, but I dont care because I get off on that.

When my ex and I de-virginised ourselves, I almost made her puke by hitting her cervix so hard.

Its the only thing im a selfish rear end in a top hat about, if a girl refused to have sex with me because it hurt too much, I would break up with her on the spot.

A lot of people wish they had our problem. It's a blessing and a curse.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I worked for Subway, I stole money. I would usually work from lunch to close on Sundays, since school during the week limited me on hours. On Sundays, we had a two-for-8.99 deal for all types of sandwiches. Most people would pay with a ten for 2 sandwiches, or a twenty for 4. Since the price was fixed, we always knew what change to give out. When people would hand me money, I would give them the change, leave the register slightly open (so I wouldn't have to punch in my number to open it again), and pocket the money. I would usually limit myself to two transactions per hour, so as to not make it obvious. I could make almost a week's pay in a day if I wanted to. Eventually, I just tallied how many sales I wanted to steal during the day and take the money as I closed up.

I didn't regret it at the time, since the customers and the management were all pretty lovely. I don't really have an qualms about it now, I'm just glad I wasn't caught.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I once stuck a tampon in my rear end after reading a Penthouse Letter about someone doing the same, and how they would pull it out when they climaxed. I tried it, but it felt too much like I was taking a crap.

I ordered some sex toys my wife and I picked out and when they arrived they threw in some extras, one of which was some anal beads. My wife would never try them so one weekend when she was gone, I gave them a try. I quickly pulled them out when I was in the middle of an orgasm. It was one of the most intense and best orgasms of my life, but I've never been able to bring myself to do it again. Mainly because if it didn't feel like that again I would feel let down.

A couple of months ago my wife was gone for a week on a trip. I wore her underwear the whole time she was gone. I would also put on a maxi pad and tuck my junk back (ala Silence of the Lambs). I made myself come 3 times in the maxipad without ever having to touch myself. I'd never been in to anything like that before, but I found it to be quite erotic.

I wacked off to the confession where the guy was having sex with his sister, or I think I did because I wacked off three times yesterday and I kind of lose track of things like that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

One of my confessions.

Me and two friends once stole over $7,000 from a former employer when we were 15. Months later we quit and that place went bankrupt. I kinda feel guilty, but we used the money to buy awesome poo poo and a car, so gently caress it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

I'm currently dating two people: my fiance and my boss (who is my age). Neither one knows about the other. I sometimes see them both in the same night, and will even sleep with them both. I do not feel guilty at all about this.

I have cheated at least four times on my fiance with various men. He's never known about it. Sometimes I feel bad, but I tell myself he's immature and I'll be dumping him soon anyway. However, I never break up with him, even though I've been trying on and off for over a year. He always talks me into staying.

I have told at least 20 people throughout my life that I was raped when I was 13. This is untrue. I just like the attention and sympathy I get, especially from people I date.

I also have lied about my father being in the hospital to my friends, coworkers, and boyfriends at various times in my life. I even told an employer that he died to try and get out of work for a week. He's perfectly healthy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a strange fetish. Whenever I have to take a poo poo, I go somewhere where I can be alone. Then I try and hold the poo poo in my rear end for as long as I can. I usually start by kneeling so I can clench my rear end checks so nothing comes out. When I'm doing this I'll be at my computer most of the time. I do this until my knees get too sore. Then I stand up for a little while longer because it feels so good. I'll do it just before the point where I literally push the poo poo out of my rear end because it has become to compact. Then a waddle to the toilet and finish the job. It's like sex to me.

It's amazing that there seems to be examples of all of Freud's Development stages: Oral, Anal, Phallic, Latency and Genital. I think this thread alone has proved Freud to hold a lot of integrity.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 05:16

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me internet, this is my second confession...

Once, after me and a few friends had been drinking with some girls, we decided to walk them home. We ended up walking through a cemetary, and one of the girls started being sick and fell over. So we took turns seeing how close we could get our spit to land to her head and laughing at her cry that her brother was going to "muller" us.

We still carried on walking them home a little later when she had got up and brushed the poo poo out of her hair. She took a run at me in the middle of the street, and I sidestepped and tripped her up. She didn't have the slightest of frames, and hit the tarmac with quite a bit of poundage.

We then took some money from her purse, bought some kebabs and walked her the rest of the way home.

We never heard from her brother.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Let's see, where should I begin?

Over the course of a summer , a friend and I took control of the entire weed
and coke market for 2 entire towns.

I've been arrested more times than I can actually remember, and cost my
parents nearly $100,000 in legal fees.

At one time I was a professional shoplifter, before receipt checkers were
stationed at doors. I would load a TV or stereo into a cart from the
electronics dept, and push it right out the door. Target doesn't realize
just how appropriate the name really is.

I also used to boost speaker boxes and amps for cars on a near nightly
basis.

I also had sex with a goon, who happens to be a furry, though I find the
whole idea of furries loving retarded.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father for i am pathetic,

i have been with two girls sexually in my life: one long term and one a fling.

either way, i cannot orgasm while with them, so after they are finished I fake it. I am just too nervous (even after 4 years with one) and my mind is racing.

The irony is that I am horny as hell during the whole ordeal, so later I go home and jerk off to the very situation that I couldn't ejaculate to in the first place.

and they were both kinda fat chicks but pretty in the face

There are about 100 people who confessed to being virgins, who I think wish they were in your position. Not that it doesn't suck for you.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've got a confession of covetousness/mental infidelity, and I'm also looking for advice on what to do.

I've been dating my gf for over 5 years. We live together and I was planning on asking her to marry me this year. Things are good between us, but not spectacular. Rather than having highs or lows we seem to be at a pretty steady state of "OK." This has been acceptable to me because I have had some relationships where the drama just didnt justify the accompanying highs. The biggest problem between us seems to be that she has very little ambition or intellectual curiosity. I really miss dating a woman who can challenge me, who has her own strong interests, passions, etc. My gf is just very content to be passive in life and let things happen.

In the past 9 months I've met a woman at work who I'm really falling for. She's funny, smart, pretty, ambitious, etc, and I really think she's great. I don't know if I could say I'm in love with her, but I could see it developing. I fantasize about what life would be like if we were dating or married and it always seems magnificent. Sort of like color tv versus my current black and white tv situation. When I don't see her for a few days I feel depressed and when I do see her I feel like sunlight is shooting into the room.

This coworker is married. We've become good friends, and she's confided some things to me that she hasn't shared with anyone else. One of those things is that she's very unhappy in her marriage. Other than this closeness, and her general friendliness, I don't have any reason to believe she feels anything about me more than friendship. However, I am in a senior role to her in the company, she treats me like a mentor, and she's very serious about her career, so it's very understandable that she'd keep everything very proper. Because of my role in the company and my enjoyment of our friendship, I don't feel like I can do anything to bring up how I feel either.

My feelings for this coworker have put my plans for engagement to my gf on hold, but at the same time I have no idea on what to do next. I feel lovely about fantasizing about my coworker while being with my gf, but it seems like I can't stop.

Should I just realize the futility of what I feel for my coworker and marry my gf? Should I end my good but not great relationship with my gf in recognition of the fact that I feel the way I do about another woman regardless of the status of coworker and her marriage? Should I find some way to bring up my feelings to coworker and how can I possibly do that without risking our friendship and our work relationship? Should I just poo poo my pants and post about that?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In terms of sex, I feel very detached from the world and from people
my age. It's not that I don't desire sex, but I can't understand the
appeal to gently caress some girl that i barely know. It's weird, but I prefer
the "wait until marriage" type of girl to the super-hot but really
slutty college chick. I'm 20 and am not religious at all. I don't
know why, but I feel really bad about this, like less of a man or
something. I'm not fat or ugly...so it's not a "I'll take what I can
get" thing.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My first sexual relationship was at 19. A few months into the relationship I realized she was unstable, so I broke things off with her. But it was too late, she already hosed me over by stopping her birth control pills without telling me, and therefore getting pregnant. She openly admitted this to everyone, including our respective parents. I then found out that her older sister had done the same thing. I should have seen that coming.

Soon after, I considered suicide, but decided to prolong the pain and enter a nearly 8 year long binge of self-destructive behavior before finally coming to terms and getting stability back into my life.

I found out recently that before she left the state she pulled the same stunt and got pregnant again.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have several things I'd like off my chest.

1. I have a fetish. The thing is, I've never told ANYONE until now, it's been around for 3 years. It's really wierd. Basically, I jack off to the thought of girls picking me up or carrying me. It's called "Lift and Carry", and I've become quite a connesseur of it. Example links:

https://www.liftnet.net
https://www.specialinterests.com
https://www.davemeister.com
https://www.builtmore.com

those are just to give you an idea. I really find it strage myself and have thousands of videos on my computer of this assembled from like-minded dudes on yahoo groups.

If my parents found out about this, I'd flip out and...I dont know. My dream in life is for a girl to show off her strength this way, it's the only way I get off. When I'm behind a girl I treat her like a horse in my mind, wondering if her "hindquarters" are good riding quality. Oi.

Feel free to ALOD this, it's pretty terrible. Heck, some day down the line I'll submit this as an ALOD since I dont think anyone is goin gto read my confession

2. I am a virgin, I defend people who are virgins quite constantly, and sometimes I tell people I'm asexual, but really I'm just confused.

I want to lose my virginity so bad, I could, I'm attractive, got good social skills, but there is this intense shame with it. Screw it, I dont have a very good penis, I dont want to risk sucking in bed.

3. I stalk girls. God, I dont like myself for this. I now drive by their houses, stare at photos of them and write stories with them in it. I sometimes followed them around school and campus grounds just to see what they liked, talked to, and said.

I never once spoke to them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was homeless once for about half a year. I could have avoided it had I just gone to my parents for help, but I was convinced they were ashamed of me, so in pride I let myself live on the streets. I still had a job, just didn't make enough to afford a place of my own, and nobody I knew needed a roommate or would let me crash for a while.

I did what I had to do to get a place to sleep at night; including sleeping in my office overnights, hooking up with girls just for a place to crash, and sleeping in my car and on park benches. I then finally saved up enough money to get a place.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

From Page 4:

"When I was 9 years old I slept over at my friend's house. In the same bed. I don't remember how it happened, but we ended up with our hands down eachother's pajamas... later we sucked eachother's cocks. At that age we couldn't get off, but it still felt great. That wasn't the only time it happened either."

If that was 1992 in the northern Twin Cities suburbs, then that was probably me. I don't remember exactly how it started, either. He was a 3rd grade classmate who lived on the next block from me. I don't think either of us really knew what we were doing, just that it felt good. We'd dry hump, jerk each other, suck on each other's dicks and balls. A couple of times I remember we tried sex, but it never really went any farther than one of us rubbing the head of his dick on the other's anus.

That was my first gay experience. My second was toward the end of my sophomore year of college. I had an Adult Friend Finder account, on which I'd gotten a free upgrade for trying their partners' porn sites (and then canceling right away). I'd tried, unsuccessfully, to meet a couple of local girls through the site. I was also a little curious about the guys who had ads on there.

One day, I noticed an ad for a man who was looking for "bears and chubs." (For those of you not familiar with gay slang, that means hairy, husky guys.) Fitting the definition, this seemed like a good opportunity for me to experiment, and the fact I was in college seemed to interest him. We sent a couple e-mails and finally set up a meeting on a Saturday afternoon at his apartment.

I walked to his apartment, and he answered the door straight out of the bathtub, dressed in a towel. He was 40ish, about 8 inches shorter than me, stocky but not fat, with dark, sparse chest hair and a very stereotypical mustache. We talked briefly, made out in his living room for a bit, and then went to his bedroom. His towel came off fairly easily, but he insisted on undressing me.

He sucked my cock for a little while, but stopped because I did (and do) have a lot of pre-ejaculate, and he was nervous about STDs. I sucked his cock for a while. Then we laid down and jerked each other off. He wanted to cuddle, but I felt really dirty. I went into the bathroom, cleaned up as best I could, got dressed, walked back to the dorm and spent the next hour in the shower.

It took me a while to realize that the reason I felt dirty wasn't because he was a man; it was because he was a much older stranger who was using the Internet to pick up much younger guys. I haven't had a gay experience since, but part of me would actually like to try sucking/being sucked off to climax and sex with a man.

Apart from these two guys, no one knows about this. Not even my fiancee.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When i was seven I used to "masturbate" with with the
kids in my neighborhood who were also my age. Its
always bothered me and I have never told anyone.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am a 38 year old married female with a husband and 2 sons, 16 and 17
(most of the male goons ages). I have a stressful IT job making 85k a
year, working 10 � 12 hours a day and also live on a farm but work
from home. I have been married for 19 years. My husband could never
keep a long term job or take care of the kids. When he has a job,
they are usually well paying jobs but he keeps the money. I pay all
the bills, including all of his toys and never have a penny to spend
on myself. I cook dinners every night, usually late, I do the
cleaning, the laundry, the shopping, take care of the farm animals,
cut the grass (5 acres to cut), help the kids with homework, taught
them manners, to drive, etc.... My husband will beat the poo poo out of
me when I back talk him. An example of back talking him is when he
leaves me a list of errands to do that are all in town and I know
with my schedule there is no way I will make it I will say, I can't
do this all, which results in him either not talking to me for a week
or me being punished. I know better and I should just do it.
Sometimes the wrong thing just comes out of my mouth.

My sons are quickly learning from their father. They treat me
horribly. When I ask for them to be home by a certain time, they
pretty much laugh in my face and think I am physcho. I made the
mistake of reminding my oldest son what time to be home in front of
his friend. He was about to punch me in the face when his friend
stopped him. This is only one example. The only thing I want from my
children is making sure that I am setting them up for success and to
make sure they are safe.

My husband makes me show my tits to his friends. I don't know why he
does this but it makes me feel so embarrassed. If I refuse he gets
out of hand. He also wants me to get into a MMF scenario with him and
them. If it wasn't such a control thing, I probably would. I really
just can't do anything right. My confession is for years I have been
thinking about suicide and I always come to grips that it is a cowards
way out. I have now fought this for 19 years and am beginning to
really think I want the cowards way out. I love my family but I just
can't do anything right.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

A week after my girlfriend and I moved into a house, I woke up to a note from her telling me she wanted to break up. She then took it back, but recently said that she wants me to be happy and if that's with someone else, so be it. But from her end, she doesn't care for me romantically. So until I meet someone else, we are still considered "together". What a bunch of bullshit.

I'd leave, but we are both tied into the lease that neither can afford alone. The landlord wouldn't let me break the lease anyway; we only got the house because we pretended we were married (he only rented to married couples). At least we get along very well as friends, but I'm very lonely and aching for affection.

I'd find someone else but I never have contact with other women due to my job, and I can't stand the women in my social scene. And what woman wants to get involved with a guy still living with his (ex)girlfriend?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I haven't told my family or my friends but I seriously
think one day I will become a nun. I decided I won't
tell anybody about my inclinations until I'm sure one
way or the other. They probably wouldn't believe me
anyway, but for a while now it's seemed like a very
attractive way of life.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in tenth grade there was a really anoying kid in my history class. He would do stupid poo poo to bother every drat day, and after a few weeks I started trying to convince him to kill himself. He never did (thank God), but I've always felt really bad about it.

I'll probobly never see him again and it really bothers me that I never said I was sorry.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

What I am about to confess is only known by 3 people, but I have to
get it off my chest. 3 years ago I met Alison also known as [I'm Editing the forum name out to avoid :dramabomb:]
at a gooncon. I thought she was attractive and I sensed that she
thought I was attractive aswell. I was not bothered by the fact that
she is a little older than me. I had a girlfriend at the time and I
have never cheated so doing anything with Ali was never in my mind.
The only thing that turned me off about Ali was her "goth" thing but
I thought it was just a phase.

Ali and I continued to talk on AIM for about 2 years, we were not able
to see eachother because she lived in NY and I was on the West. This
was about to change though, I had been thinking about going to NYU and
was taking a trip East. I emailed Ali telling her when I would be in
town and where I would be staying. By this time I had broken up with
my girlfriend. Ali said she was still with her boyfriend Tom. We got
to talking about her relationship with Tom. She said she was only with
him because he bought her things, Tom was not around much because he
worked a lot. I asked what kind of things he bought her and I was
surprised, it was like he was her sugar daddy, Plasma TV's , clothes,
games and poo poo.

I arrived in NY and met up with Ali at Ray Bari's Pizza. She was
wearing a black dress with a dead baby on it. Her beautiful curly hair
was down and she had red lipstick on. When she would lean over I would
get an eyeful of cleavage, man I couldnt resist looking. We talked
about my plans for school and stuff. She started talking about the NIN
tour and Robert Sheridan. She would talk about Trent a lot on AIM but
I didnt think she would bring up all this NIN stuff out of nowhere
when we were eating talking about our lives.

I wanted to find out more about the real her, I wanted to get inside
her head. We left Ray Bari's and went out for drinks. Ali loves to
drink and she got hosed up, I dont drink that much but I guess that
is ok. As the night came to a close I suggested we go back to my hotel
room and she can kick it there for the night. Ali doesnt live alone so
I knew going back to her place was not a good idea.

We arrived in my hotel room, Ali drops her stuff on the table and
flops on the bed. I sit next to her as she is laying down and her cell
phone rings. She is too hosed up to answer it, I get up and look at
the name and it's Tom. I did not tell her Tom had called.

I go and lay next to Ali and I put hand on her head, just rubbing her
hair with my hand. If this was all that happened that night it would
have been enough but something in me had to have more. I leaned over
and kissed her, at first she did not kiss back it was like kissing a
dead fish or something but then I felt a hint of tongue. She was into
it and we started making out.

I put my left hand on her thigh and worked my way up, I had my hand
over her panties and I was rubbing her. I was already aroused from
kissing her but now I was rock solid. She unbuckles my belt and I take
my pants off. She takes her panties off but leaves her dress on. We
are both standing and I bend her over the bed and lift up her dress
and begin to have sex with her. I put the straps of her dress over her
shoulders exposing her breasts. I grabbed her bare titties, I dream
come true for me, pathetic I know but I have always wanted to touch
them. We went through several positions, I did get to suck on her
breasts.

We went to sleep, morning came and I found a note Ali had left me. She
had taken a Cab. I tried to call her but she did not pickup the phone.
She didnt talk to me the rest of the time I was in NY. After my trip
was over and I arrived back home I tried IMing her to talk about what
happened but she said she didnt want to talk about it. Ever since that
night our convos have been very short. I felt like poo poo, her not
talking to me is the worst feeling in the world. I still have the note
she wrote me before leaving the hotel and I have shown 1 other goon
the note and told them the story. I felt like I had to share this with
more than 1 now, thank you for this thread.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I talk to my best friend religiously. By religiously, I mean we talk nonstop when we're both awake and able to actually spend time to talk, either on IM or phone. In a way I'm almost ashamed to say that my best friend is only known to me by an online name, some pictures, and the personality I've grown to know online.

But I don't doubt we'd do well. I plan on meeting her sometime soon, but I have a stinging jealousy that I shouldn't. She'll talk to someone else she's hardly really known on the phone a lot, kind of put me off for them. It doesn't make much sense for me, of all people to be jealous, especially when she's with someone, and I'm with someone.

We have many things in common, and as much as she says she'd be boring, I find her interesting.. She's smart, she's realistic, she's not superficial in any means.. She's as cruel as I can be sometimes, and that just makes it so much more worth it.

She's also a goon

I'm sure she'll read this and know right away it's my confession, so simply put, I love you. I have for quite awhile now, and I want you to be mine.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

One summer when I was a young 'un, over the course of a couple of weeks, I stole over $50 in quarters out of my grandmother's purse, in $2-$5 increments, and rode my bike down to the convenience store to play videogames for an hour or so. I don't even remember what I was playing. It couldn't have been that great though, this must have been in the mid to late 1980s.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a bag of weed in my hands right now. I regularly post on SA while intoxicated. I never get called on it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

1. I cheated on the final in a class that was very important as an undergrad. I didn't end up needing to because I was more prepared than I thought, but i still feel bad.

2. I hit a parked car once and drove off scared. I'm sorry, little white sedan.

3. I hate most of my family. Really, I can't stand them, so I always avoid family gatherings with "school work."

4. I have a huge crush on goon Devil Duckie. I wish she would post more because she is really smart and funny, but then also I'd probably get jealous because other goons would probably find out how awesome she is.

5. Also, I'm gay, a pedophile, furry, nazi, cutter, bleeder, drinker, animu fag, livejournal whore, myspace slut, cheater, victim, abuser, abusee, Lowtax hater, Lowtax suck up, FYAD lurker, FYAD star, internet tough guy, internet recluse, and all around axe-murdering-anal-raping Republican.

6. Ok, i confess number 5 was all lies.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I got kicked out of my university and ashamed to admit it. I tell friends and family that I still attend and have the same major. Every day I feel like I want to kill myself. I tried going to God but that is task itself. I was once gifted but it seems like I am just average now. If you can please pray for me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

At my old apartments laundry room I noticed one day a fresh hole in the wall of the laundry room that looked directly into the mens bathroom. Whenever I was doing my laundry I'd go into the mens room (it was a single toilet room) and play with my big woody hoping that young curious chickies were looking through the hole.

I used to have an eye for girls in clubs with low self-esteem (not just uggos and fatties, but sometimes uggos and fatties) and could usually get them in the sack by the end of the night. Ya, I was lazy and going for easy kills but then I got lazier and discovered I could do this without leaving the house thanks to yahoo messenger. I know I got off on the stranger-sex aspect of it but I think I also kinda got off on thinking I was using them, I'd sometimes feel guilty about it and it sucks bumping into them again and pretending I don't know them or telling them they're mistaken.

The next person who pulls in front of me in traffic who's driving a nice enough car that I know for sure they have insurance will not be braked for.

I find a lot of 14-17 year old girls to be very hot (I'm 29) and while I and RL friends have no problems admitting that young girls that are way too young for us can be very sexually attractive, it seems like it's kinda taboo here on SA, I'm guessing due to a whole lot of denial on part of a whole lot of posters with latent pedophilic tendencies.

I wish these 'bigger than 9/11' acts all these dune-coons keep promising would happen. Not that I hate all people or my fellow countrymen or anything, It'd just be exciting to have that feeling again of non-stop news coverage, TVs tuned to CNN with people gathered round everywhere you go and WTF happened, nation-united and all that bullshit.

I wish the result of the above was nukes on the middle east and 10 cent a gallon gas for the rest of my life.

I've been paid countless thousands of dollars for sitting on my rear end internetting at work (over a hundred bux reading this thread) and taking 2 hour lunches to smoke weed, I know many people who fifty or a hundred bucks would make it so they and their kids could eat good food for a while instead of ramen or macaroni or maybe some new clothes or toys.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Since I started going to college, 4 years ago I switched major 4 time. Now, I'm only a sophemore. I have GPA of 1.06 and I have been kicked out of 2 different university because of my poor academic performance.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I really want to be a part of SA SLUTS, and think I have not only the sense of humor for it, but by far the ability, but I just don't post that often or kick off any amazing goldminable material.

Oh, well. Someday, maybe. Someday.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I live in Pittsburgh. A few weeks ago, I flew to go visit some friends from high school in the town I grew up in (Miami). While I was there, I ran into my ex-girlfriend who was there for the summer. We dated for 3 years, then we broke up after college interfered. That was 3 years ago. Since then, she's gotten into a much more serious relationship, and she's probably going to get married to the new guy in a year or so.

To make a long story short, we went to a party and had sex on the hosts bed. For something like an hour and a half. It is a miracle we weren't caught, since there were 534975 people there.

I'm in the process of transitioning between jobs, so one week ago, I drove back to Miami for the last weekend that she would be there, and we basically had sex all weekend. I don't think she's going to tell her boyfriend. I don't think anything will come of it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am extremely turned on by women's underwear. I love watching girlfriends in their underwear it's just absolutely the hottest thing ever. I fantasize about what it would be like to wear women's underwear and how sexy it would feel.
I also feel incredibly sad because my current girlfriend, who I have been with for a long time and will most likely spend the rest of my life with has no idea and is so self conscious/vanilla when it comes to sex that I can't even get her to wear any lingerie. I would never be able to tell her about my desires.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love my girlfriend but I find myself falling further and further apart from her and it makes me so lonely.
We live together and both work full time. We both have a college degree accept she works a minimum wage job and spends all of her money on herself. I work a desk job and pay the mortgage, utilities, buy groceries, do all of the housework and I just keep doing it. I come home from work and start cooking dinner. She comes home and parks it on the couch. I have no balls and can't seem to do anything about it. THe worst is that if I kick her out she has nowhere to go. She can't afford to support herself and has no parents/family.

She used to have tons of self esteem and be really driven and it just disappeared one day. Now she doesn't do anything accept bitch that I never want to go out, which is basically because I spend all of my energy working/keeping up a house by myself.

I have a lot of tattoos and want full sleeves and she doesn't want me to have them so I wont get them. I also want to shave my head again but she doesn't want me to (was shaved for a good 10 years) so I wont. I keep doing everything she wants but get nothing in return and I feel so distant and lonely it sucks.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 11 and my brother was 6 we had a fight. I hit him in the arm, probably pretty hard, and he retaliated by *trying* to spit on me. I don't think he succeeded, he probably just dribbled a bit on my arm. But when he told on me I used it as a cowardly defense.

My mother, who was and still is an excellent mother, and was always excellent at resolving our quarrels, (except this one time, I've concluded,) decided to let us go eye-for-an-eye. He could hit me and I could spit on him.

Come on. I'm 11, he's 6. How hard can a 6 year old hit? Not hard, I'll tell you. I hardly felt it. But I was angry for some reason and I decided to spit a gob in his face. The instant I did it and saw my spit on his face I was ashamed, and have been since.

I don't know where the notion to do that came from and I don't know what made me think it was justified. I've never talked of it. I've never forgiven myself after 18 years and I hope in horror that he doesn't remember it, but I have a feeling that if someone you looked up to did that to you, you wouldn't forget. I want to apologize to him but I don't want to bring it up in the off-chance that he doesn't recall.

This is the worst thing I have ever done and it made me cry to type it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Okay, so I have a picture of a good friend of mine who happens to be a girl. Because of the fact that she isn't interested in me as her boyfriend I keep using her picture to masturbate (she's opening in her mouth in the picture and closing her eyes etc..) and i feel kinda guilty for doing it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

-I was at work at got a call my grandmother was about to die. I didn't have a care in the world. On the way I broke down a started to cry, not because I was sad or that i missed her or anything but the fact that i didn't miss her really disturbed me to the point of tears.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a serious porn/masturbating addiction. I seriously jack off no less the 7 times a day. At my work I beat it in the bathroom, don't wash my hands, and procede to serve people food without out putting on gloves. I just find it funny I guess.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Confession 2:

I really dispised this girl and I feel bad now.
But the confession begins as so.

I intentionally didn't take a shower for a week.
And on the 6ht day I got her (the hated one) roommate to let me in. I immediatly proceded to beat off and come into her brand new shampoo bottle. OK Go - "Don't Ask Me" was playing and I had Teen 17 for reading material. I then shook up the bottle to mix everything around.

After all of that, I shoved her toothbrush in my rear end and spun it around to make sure it got every last bit filth.

Next, I went to her room, put about 5 of her asprins in my butt and the rest in a pile underneath my balls. Of cousre I put them all back into the bottle.

Then, I pulled most of her shirts off the rack and "flossed" my crack and taint for about 5 minutes.
making sure to get every morsel to nougat off the area and on the shirts.

Finally, and feeling pretty drained, I went to "I'm on a diet" Tea and unloaded both a lugie and about 1/4 of a bladder of urine into the pitcher.

I dont know how many sins that it but I'm sure its too many for one person.

Confession 3
I've sold drugs to 12 year olds.
Hard drus.
Extacy,
Meth,
and synthetic heroin.

Cofession 4:
I fear that ALL of my friends are plotting agianst me.
Therefore I systematicly think of and perform devious schemes to "preemptivly assault" them. Including but not limited to:
-Wiping my rear end with anything that they might put in their mouth (cigarettes, silverware, toothbrushes, cups, bread, etc..)
-Twice I've shoved a tampon im my rear end cause I heard that could give her a bladder infection.
-Stashing used paraphanelia in their cars and homes.
-Doing highly illegal things and taking pictures of them doing it.
-Stealing their mail to get credit card applications.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Someone else said, "I, apparently like many others, have posed in online chats as a young girl to attract the creepiest people for cybersex."

I'm one of these people. If you happen to be one of these people, please consider making some fake AIM or MSN name and confessing it in, I think it'd be interesting to talk to other people who enjoy doing this.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

You guys know that famous pic of AiryFaerie being dressed like a butterfly/fairy? Where she holds two unicorns in her arms? I love that pic and I often look at it. Not because of the girl, I couldn't care less about her. But the unicorns are pretty drat cute. Just looking at them makes me happy.

After all the pedo-rape-incest-murder stories I'm sure you're all assuming the worst so I want to add that I do this is in a completely non-sexual way. Kinda like most goons enjoy cute kitten threads.

I'm kinda ashamed of that because it doesn't fit my image of being a relatively tough guy who can't be moved emotionally by girly poo poo like that. And generally that's true, it's just those two drat cute unicorns.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

It's the girl with the dead fiance again because I was unhappy with my
previous confession. I would say that not much emotion went into it,
and I honestly didn't feel better at all. Just a confession by the
numbers and I wasn't being honest with myself, much less anyone else.
So getting on with it:

Since my fiance passed away, I have no real hopes for my life anymore.
He was the only thing that kept me alive after my rape two years ago,
and now that he's gone, I have no idea what I'm going to do. While I
was in my early teens, I had a bad first sexual experience and I hated
myself because of it, so I made myself into the slut I so despised. He
came along in my late teens and changed my life. He loved me without
judgment and didn't care about my past, and he was the only man I've
ever really loved.

In the few months since he's died, I've lost everything that kept me
afloat. I feel just like I did two years ago next Tuesday. It's hard
to imagine forty-five minutes can change someone's life so completely,
but it did.

And when I say I'm attractive, I'm only lying to myself. In reality, I
feel disgusting, like the most repulsive thing I've ever laid eyes on.
I'm just completely worthless as a human being. A vapid dullard with
less mental capacity than her cats. Not to mention how bad the
symptoms of my PTSD can make me feel.

I said I enjoyed the pain caused by the passing of my fiance before,
and it's true. I feel like I deserve it. Someone as utterly horrible
as myself probably deserves worse, but it feels good to finally
recieve what is so rightfully mine to dredge through.

And yes, I only really have one wish, one hope, one stupid dream that
will never, ever be realized as far as I can tell. I just wish no one
will ever have to go through what I did ever again. But I know that
won't happen; it never could. Even so, it's all I have. A hollow,
meaningless hope that others won't have to suffer like I have.

What am I confessing? I'm not even sure now, but I've never really
talked to anyone about this before, about any of it. It is a bit of a
relief to tell a few tens of thousands of people that have no idea who
I am, though. I don't really know what else to say, so I'll just end
it now with a simple, short message with no true meaning to anyone
else reading this.

I still love you, Fr�d. Thank you for everything, and goodbye.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 06:00

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

HLain came out of the closet to say:

You posted this one on the last page, but you didn't edit out the name!

Thanks, fixed, I knew some of that started sounding like deja vu.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 06:22

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I really, really, really like this girl. If she were to be my girlfriend, I guess that would be my life goal complete. I will never ask her out, I think she deserves much better than me. I am not fat, ugly, or anything unattractive, just that she could get anything she wants and I am probably not on the top of her list.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I completely ruined my ex-girlfriend of three years. I destroyed her and now she still loves me and can't get over me, and has attempted suicide on numerous occasions. I cheated on her something like six times (we had the pretense of an "open relationship" but it was complete bullshit). Mostly it was just kissing and I always told her who it was and before it happened, which somehow made it okay in my mind. I never told her about the numerous emotional affairs associated with them, though. One time I fingered another girl. I wouldn't gently caress her or let her go down on me because then the guilt would have been overwhelming. I never told my ex about that. A week after we broke up, I started formally dating my current girlfriend, who I had been seeing already while my ex and I were together. She (my ex) recently informed me that despite my repeated insistence that she ought to have higher self-esteem, realize how pretty she was, etc. my numerous infidelities were always the reason she thought otherwise. There isn't a moment out of each day that I don't hate myself and wish I could vanish from the planet for what I have done. I blame it now on the fact that I constantly wanted female attention and approval, and my emotional affairs were the only way to gain that, but the reality of the situation is that I was a colossal prick.

I was a pretty successful guy in high school, but now I absolutely loving hate college. I loathe it here. My parents and friends have so much hope for me to go out and make something useful out of my life - join clubs, volunteer, do three majors, run for office, etc. - but the truth is that I just want to sleep every day except weekends, when I can see my girlfriend and spend all day cuddling with her. I barely even remember to do my laundry or take out my own trash. I've become a loving wreck and a total burnout, and this knowledge only further fuels my self-loathing.

I received oral sex in kindergarten from another girl, also in kindergarten. She had been sexually abused as a child and I didn't know better when she yanked down my pants in the bathroom and started sucking me off. Another time, I caused significant emotional trauma to a girl who tried to come on to me (she had had the same problem). I kicked her in the stomach when she tried to feed chocolate to my dog, then when she tried to make advances on me, I told my mom, who told her mom and now she's completely banned from seeing guys as long as she lives with them. I wish I had kept my mouth shut. What she was trying to do wasn't healthy (we were both fifth-graders) but that wasn't the way for her parents to deal with it.

I am paranoid and have problems trusting people. On one occasion, I read one of my girlfriends' e-mail, convinced that things were too good to be true and she must have been carrying on an affair behind my back. The truth was that her letters were full of nothing but praise for me. I felt so rotten about not trusting her.

I used to try and pull the tails off of my cats.

In high school, I was once caught "cheating" on a test. The teacher discarded my test and forced me to take another. I made him feel bad about it by saying I was looking at a different chapter of the book (technically we were done with the test and were allowed to read further, he just wanted me to bubble in my answers darker). The truth was, I actually was looking at the chapter the test was on, and I really did try to cheat.

I have an undying obsession with cunnilingus and have ever since seventh grade. I never turn down an opportunity to perform it, and the feeling is better than any orgasm I could ever imagine. The smell of pussy absolutely intoxicates me and I am always frustrated when I bring a girl to orgasm and they ask me to stop because it is too sensitive. Whenever I masturbate, my thoughts are always of having my face firmly planted between a girl's thighs.

Chalk up another one on the "I wanted to gently caress my hot cousin" list.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 12 my school made everyone participate in a lipsynch thing. basically you had to find a team of kids and then choose a pre-1979 song and lip synch to it. I wasn't popular at all in middle school and ended up being force grouped with 3 others who both didn't want me in their group and didn't want to lip synch. None of the other guys in the group listened to much music and didn't know any pre-1979 bands or songs and all I ever listened to at that time was the Dr. Demento show which I stayed up late every Sunday night to listen to and record for my one friend (The Dr. Demento show just played funny songs, Weird Al made his debut on there as well as a few others). So as a result we struggled to come up with something to lipsynch to for a week until I brought in a copy of the Dr. Demento show one week to listen to while we were supposed to be practicing the song. One of the songs on the tape was "Squirrels", a really really stupid cover of the Beastie Boys song "Girls", the other 2 guys in the group heard the song and laughed till they cried and then decided we should lipsynch to that. I don't think they knew it was a parody and I sure as hell didn't and neither did the teacher who we submitted the song to.

That's not my confession though. Now I'm older and all my friends are really big music super-elitists and I'm afraid if I told them they wouldn't let me live it down.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am an attractive 17 year old girl, and I go out of my way to flirt with random older guys just to mess with their heads. My self esteem can be pretty poo poo, but hey, at least I'm desirable!

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I pretended to cry at my mom's funeral. She died of lung and liver cancer. Because she was a chain-smoking alcoholic, I blamed her for her illness and death. gently caress her for dying, and gently caress her for living so poorly.

Now, I'm dating a girl who's a light smoker. She drinks more than me, though it's certainly not out of control. Sometimes I turn that same "dead mom" anger on her when she's drinking or smoking.

I can't keep dating a smoker forever, and I can't leave her for something as trivial as her being a smoker. gently caress.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:
I had sex with a 16 year old, she was really good, but that's pretty wrong, especially with her having a boyfriend and all.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 13 I was Wiccan. I now have a pile of lovely lovely new age books I'm trying to get rid of in the least embarassing way possible, but I can't bring myself to throw away any book. Even a book written by Silver loving Ravenwolf.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am visiting my friends in the city in which I used to live.

I have not seen my ex-girlfriend but have this incredible urge to run to her tell her I love her even though until I arrived here, I hadn't so much as thought about her for almost 2 months. I currently have a girlfriend who I am obsessed with, but there's this twinge at the back of my skull when I just want what I had a few months ago

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The man I lost my virginity to was someone I met on the internet. We went to a hotel and spent three days doing nothing but loving and sleeping. It was amazing and I never expected sex to be that good. We were pretty kinky too, within about 5 minutes of my clothes coming off, he had two fingers up my rear end.

Here we are years later, we're back together and happy as can be. Our sex life has gotten a little strange though - it almost ALWAYS involves porn and drugs. We still have fun on our own, but it's much more intense and exciting when we're high and drunk and watching some slut take it up the rear end. We burn incense, turn the lights down, and blow each other's minds. The bad part is, I'm always fantasizing about something other than him when I come. I can't come if I look at him or think about him. When I'm really having a hard time, I envision this clip I saw once of a girl and a dog.

Jesus, I feel so goddamned dirty.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have danced on a grave. And absolutely loved it. (Break dancing)
I have pissed on a grave. And didn't enjoy that as much. Too hardcore.

I have wanked to the rape scene in A Clockwork Orange, but not because I have any rape fascination or anything, I was unable to access teh internets, and didn't have any porn. I was about 15 ok.

I chuckled to myself the last time I saw a blind person. God that hurts to type.

I also chuckled to myself when I saw an ambulance turn up at work and an old lady I didn't know getting taken in.

I find the words 'Terrible Palsy' loving hilarious.

But besides the above I am genuinly very pleasant to everyone I meet in life, and can only laugh about these things if it isn't connected to anyone I know.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Once, when I was younger, around 12 or so, I was at my mother's townhouse. My siblings, about 6 years younger, had just gotten a new kitten. When no one was around, I took that kitten, and did horrible things to it for about an hour. I threw it up in the air and let it hit the ground, and then when it tried to scamper away I would grab it again. I threw it hard against the couch cushions, and let it bounce off the couch into the floor. Then, I took it into the kitchen and kept spinning it around on the linoleum floor. Occasionally, I would hit the back end of it's small body into the legs of the table or the refrigerator. I would also let it get up and watch it try to run away; however, it was so dizzy that it would just end up running into walls.

Eventually, I took it back into the living room and started squeezing it. I threw it up and down a few more times, and then I started throwing it into the wall. The kitten, which had been violently shaking for a long time, began crying. I took it by the neck and started swinging it around in circles when it started to poo poo itself. poo poo started to come out its rear end, so I freaked out, ran downstairs into the basement, and threw it into the litter box. I got my mom and showed her, and denied having any idea what was wrong with it. She cleaned it up a bit, and then put it on the stairs.

It didn't move, it just sat there and shook.

I continued denying that I knew anything.

I suppose the kitten eventually returned to normal, but after a few months, it ran away and they never saw it again.

I don't know why I did this, and this is the first time I've ever told anyone about it. I never have done anything else like this, and ever since, I've felt absolutely horrible about it. I know that I'm a piece of poo poo if only for this one act.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am actively involved in my local church, even though I no longer consider myself a Christian. I cannot tell my mum because I am afraid of the terrible reaction she'd have, so I'm just pretending until I move away.

I still think about a girl I've never met, or even sent more than one email to, and haven't had any contact with in about 2 years. It's a girl who used to have a livejournal and post on Fark (usernames Babycola and cola respectively). Her Livejournal posts used to be the highlight of my days, because she seemed the coolest girl in the world. I won't go into why, because it'd take too long, but I really miss her since she closed her LJ and was banned from Fark

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

About 10-12 years ago I was living with my mother. She was a horrible person... Histronic, hypochondriac, a complusive liar, she physically and emotionally abused me, and she was a HUGE slut.
She had supposed "health problems" including asthma which kept her from working a normal job and kept us on welfare (funny enough, she could go party at smoky bars on weekends). I lived in a VERY to-do kinda town and the fact that I had to shop at goodwill (before goodwill was cool) and got my toys from the Christmas basket people every year put me at harsh odds with my peers.
I was a miserable child and first tried to kill myself in 4th grade. I wanted nothing more than my mother dead.

One day I was in my room doing god knows what. Probably listening to that horribly satanic pop music that was on the radio at the time *rolling eyes*. I walked out of the room to go pee and my mom was on the floor, seemingly passed out, her basket of laundry strewn across the floor.
Had I known the phrase "attention whore" I probably would have muttered that as I stepped over her body and continued my stroll to the can.
On the way back to my room, she was still on the floor. I honestly thought she was faking - and if she didn't, I didn't really care.

About 10 minutes later, my glass of orange juice went dry so I went to the kitchen to get more. Mom was still there. I still didn't really care. When I looked down on my way back to my room, though, I saw she was turning funky colours. I leaned down and smacked her. I'm not entirely sure what I thought it would do, as I knew CPR at the time and was fully aware that smacking someone wouldn't breathe life back into them. Perhaps I just wanted to just finally hit my mom before she made the ascent to St. Peter's gates (or, in her case, the descent).

She came to and did the whole blinking and looking suprised thing and started going back to normal colour. I stood up and said "I'm calling 911" and walked to the living room. She sat stunned for a moment then started yelling at me to not call the ambulance. We lived 1/2 a block away from the ER admitting desk at the time. She wanted to walk to the ER. At this time, I had finally given up with my mom (I moved in with my dad that following winter) and decided to let her have her way. As she got her shoes and poo poo on, I called my aunt to meet us at the hospital.

We walked there together and as soon as she was signed in to the ER, I left here there and went to the gift shop because they were the only place in town that carried my much-beloved Haribo bears. I don't remember what was eventually discovered. My aunt came to console me or whatever but I just didn't give a poo poo. I, still to this day, think she was faking. Honestly, I dunno how she would be faking the turning funky colours but something never seemed right about the whole situation. I think my aunt felt the same.

Sometimes now my mom brings it up. I refuse to talk to her about it. Of course, she over-dramatizes it... To my benefit, though, she makes me out to be a hero when she tells friends/family. As soon as I hear her start to talk about it, though, I'll leave the room.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

At a very young age I developed a fascination with smooth, silky fabrics as my childhood blanket had one along its edge and I loved the tickly feeling it made when I rubbed it between my fingers.

This has stayed with me my whole life and I've since become envious of women because they get to wear clothes made out of these fabrics and men don't. I often fantisize about being a woman and it being acceptable to wear silk and satin panties and skirts and feeling the fabric floating all over me as I walk.

I often masturbate to fashion catalogues and non-nude websites because of this, and usually find it more arousing than hard-core porn. I think a floating skirt or dress on a non-fat woman is one of the most sexually arousing things in the world and one of my biggest fantasies involves doing absolutely anything sexual with a girl while she wears something like that, and refusing to let her take it off. I also fantasize about eating a girl out while I wear one of her dresses and friction masturbate against the fabric.

I have yet to find any website that caters to these interests and feel like I'm the only one ever to feel like this. I refuse to tell any friends about it through fear of being laughed out of the group.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've spent probably $1000 on internet porn in the past 6 months or so. I think I'm addicted. My collection is still only 4gb or so; I am pretty picky when it comes to masturbatory material. I'm probably going to subscribe to another paysite tonight.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a sad, lonely 19 year-old virgin. I had one chance with the girl of my dreams (who was also a virgin) and I ended up whiskey-dicked. I felt extremely ashamed and pleaded for her to tell no one. I hope she hasn't. She's very important to me and I'd like another chance, but I doubted that was ever going to happen so I joined the army.

Our communication since the incident has been sparse at best. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to get this off my chest, Pimpsolo.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I shot both of my neighbor's kids' dogs, and left the bodies bleeding in their yard. They were large, friendly dogs, and had run up to visit as I climbed over the fence, pistol in hand. The first one didn't know what was coming, and got a single bullet in the top of it's head, but the second one was frightened by the sound, jumped and started to turn and run as I fired into it's back. Four shots into it's back. They both died really fast, which was good because I know that even though I wanted them to suffer, I don't know if I could have handled seeing either of them thrash around in pain.

I stood there crying for several seconds or minutes, then went back home, unloaded the gun and sat down to watch tv and wait for the police. I even left the front door open so they wouldn't have to kick it in. A day and then a week went by. I went to work and went out to eat, and always came home to an empty house. The police never came.

I don't know if my neighbor didn't think he had enough evidence to call them, or if he was scared of reprisal, or if he just felt sorry for me. I know he knows it was me. He probably even saw standing there with a gun, crying like a baby in his back yard. The neighbor across the street certainly knew it was me. He was the one who helped me pick up what was left of my cat.

Those dogs were always getting out of their yard, and this time they came onto my property and tortured and killed my cat. Then they'd played with the corpse. My cat had always only been around cat-friendly dogs, and he probably thought these new visitors just wanted to play with him. That was what I kept thinking about when I was going over to murder the dogs.

That was 10 years ago, and I still to this day worry about how I'd react if a human hurt my friends or family (or even a pet.)

Sometimes I see dogs that look like those dogs, and I can see where the bullet holes should be.

One time I told a girlfriend about this when we were both drunk, but I don't think she was in any shape to remember it. I've never told anyone else.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

"I am responding to a confession that was directed to me. :drama: You know my SA username, instant messenger name and email address, you could have contacted me all this time and you never bothered to make things right. It's not like I was going to do it for you forever."
---
I don't know if this was a response to a comment I made, but it might as well be because mine was directed toward a goon who I wronged. So if this is the person I hope it is, I am sorry for my silence and I didn't know how to talk to you after all the crap that happened. I'd be more than happy to talk to you and try to sort things out, but I just don't have the strength to track you down in the face of almost certain rejection. If you are willing to hear me out, please contact me? Please?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:
My view of girls is permenantly set by a girl I knew between the ages of 9 and 15. She lived close to me with her 2 brothers and I used to see them almost every day. I loved her practically the whole time I knew her but was never able to tell her how I felt. I blew my one chance with her when she sprung it on me that she fancied me. I froze, mumbled that I felt the same, and then quickly changed the subject. The next day she went to her Dad's house for 3 days and the first day she was back she told me, through a friend, that she didn't fancy me anymore.

I was heartbroken and still very much scared to tell her how I felt so I broke off contact for a month or so. The next time I saw her I knew I still loved her more than anything in the world and tried to build our friendship back up, which worked, and after a year or so we were like we were before. I then tried again to tell her how I felt by slipping a tape of songs and a love letter under her pillow.

The next day her brother came round and asked me if I really loved her like I said. I froze once more and felt very strange talking to her brother about it so I said that I just fancied her.

The very next day her whole family moved away with their Mum's new boyfriend and left no contact address, which I later found out was to avoid various council related bills on their house.

I haven't seen or heard from her since.

I've had one proper girlfriend since then which lasted 3 months. I'm now 25 and I'm still madly in love this girl, or at least the memory of her, and it tears me up inside to think that I will never know what happened to her.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

*Forummember*,*Forummember*,*Forummember*. I first met *Forummember* 2 years ago at gooncon. I thought he was beautiful although his movie making tendencies kind of freaked me out but I thought it was a phase. We began to talk a lot on the phone and on AIM, this continued for about 2 years. 1 year ago I moved to FL, I wanted to make my move on him but he was involved with a girl named Melissa. He complained about their relationship, saying he only stays with Melissa because she buys him a lot of stuff. She works a lot and is never with him.

*Forummember* goes for days without seeing Melissa pretty often. Aften telling *Forummember* I had moved to FL, I suggested we meet up. He has nice teeth and I wanted to see them in person. We went out to eat at KFC and then went for drinks. Going back to his place was not an option since he does not live alone. We went back to my place to kick it.

We sat on the couch and I began to question him about Melissa and their relationship. He talked about how lovely it was, I didnt really care but I pretended to care because I wanted to gently caress him. In a drunken stupor I leaned over and kissed his neck, I dont know what I was expecting but I was surprised when he embraced me. I kissed him on the lips and we began to make out.

After a few minutes of making out I ripped off his shirt. It was a blue shirt with some sort of truck on it. I began kissing his nipples, then I fingered his rear end in a top hat. I lowered my pants and he got in front of me, I inserted my penis into his rear end in a top hat without a condom.

I had unprotected sex with *Forummember*. We did not speak for weeks but I eventually IMed him cuz I was too scared to call him. It was very ackward, I asked his views on Star Wars Episode 3 and he stopped me and said he "had to go". I havent talked to him since then.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am also a girl goon that bought platinum for the purpose of meeting people, preferably guys, in my area. No, I'm not fat or ugly either.

I'll probably have more later, but I'm late for work and need to get going.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Wow I have so many things to confess, but I guess I'll start with my dick. I am uncut, so when I was young, my mom would nag me to pull the skin back when I was taking a bath. However, as I got older, I stopped doing that. Anytime I attempted to pull the skin back, I quit due to the pain. Anytime I masturbated and I made any contact with my glands, I felt pain. I was afraid there was something wrong and would have to get circumcised. However this january, I somehow was able to pull it back. I was pretty happy until I realized it wouldn't go back up. I spent the next day in great pain as you can imagine and my dick looked like it was wearing a giant orange sombrero, so obviously, I had to do something. I looked up info on the net and found out how to fix things. If I had waited much longer, my glands would have died and turned black. Since then I have played with it alot and I can pull it back and forth with relative ease. The one good thing about my early experience is that even though cumming hurt like hell, I could shoot my load across the room like a squirtgun. As I 've gotten more comfortable with pulling my skin back, my loads don't go nearly that far.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 13 I looked a lot of really discusting porn. I mean really awful stuff.

We had just gotten the internet, and after a day or two of being fooled by counless false nintendo rumors, I discovered the wonders of internet pornography.

Then I found the weird poo poo.
Leather body suits.
Shemales

And the worst of all,

Women/animal beastiality.

I jerked off to every horrible fetish you can think of. All of them.

My breif intrest in beastie porn is my only real regret in life, and my greatest sin. I thank god that when my brother walked in on my masturbating at 14 I was on the twin porn, because two slides further in my little slideshow, and I would have been tainted in his eyes forever.

Oh god.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I cheated on my wife a couple of years ago with an "escort" - twice. Once in our house, in our bed. I was unemployed and depressed, and was too much of a chickenshit to do what I really needed to do - get a divorce.

I spent my unemployement money to do it - cashed the checks so there was no paper trail from our accounts. The state paid for my illegal extra-marital sex! Woohoo!

A couple of months I later confessed to my wife, and we came *this close* to splitting, but somehow she forgave me. poo poo, time for plan B, Mr. Passive-aggressive-subconcious-desire-to-make-her-be-the-one-to-end-the-marriage-type-guy.

We worked on things for several months, and it was very up and down. The incident helped us *really* open up about things unsaid between us, and as a result we actually felt closer. Well, except for those times when my wife screamed and/or cried uncontrollably. Or those times when I still felt like running away and wished that I hadn't confessed but had simply asked for a divorce. poo poo.

Backing up a bit - I had never even been on a date with anyone, let alone hosed anybody, by the time I managed to graduate from college. My wife was my first, and up until the cheating, only partner. And I was, and still am, her only sexual partner. She basically bullied me into getting married "Ask me to marry you soon, or we're through." I cheated because I couldn't stand the thought of loving only one person for the rest of my life. Also, I was depressed and had the house to myself all of the time. Not a good combo, but also not an excuse for being a shitheel and doing a lovely thing.

Anyway, we work our asses off to make the relationship whole again, and I push my misgivings and resentment to the background and focus on doing whatever I need to do to make my wife heal. We start loving again. Then, we start loving without birth control, because we think everything's "fixed" and we want a baby. No, we don't want a baby to fix things, we think we're all healed or some poo poo. gently caress.

I can hear the collective goon community yelling at me for my idiocy right now.

Anyway, pretty much the first time we have sex without birth control, she gets pregnant. Neither of us knows this right away, of course, and in the time between it happening and her finding out, I come to a decision: what the hell am I doing? Not only do I not want a kid, I want out of this relationship - it's like being in prison. I'm under constant surveilance, I ahve to call if I'm going to be 5 minutes late, my wife has installed a keylogger on my computer, and I don't think I love her anymore anyway. poo poo!

So I steel myself to tell her I want out after all. She meets me for lunch. I'm literally moments away from telling her when...wait for it!.. she says those two magic/heartrending words: "I'm pregnant."

She looks so happy, I can't bear to crush the moment. I try to pass off my ashen expression as one of stunned joy, but really, I'm loving destroyed.

It's a few years after all of this now, and I still want to leave. We're still married, and I love my kid dearly, but I'm just biding my time until the right moment to end the marriage (she's a stay at home mom, I want her to be financially secure and independent with a good job before I drop the bomb, plus a close family member of hers is dying, etc, etc.), and she has no idea I feel this way.

The marriage has to end because what I really want to do is run an amateur porn site. I want to gently caress college students. I want to be Bruno B. Failing that, I at least want to hook up with a bisexual suicide girls-type woman who likes to swing and/or pick up strippers in between. I want to gently caress and gently caress and gently caress while I'm still young enough to do it. I want someone (preferably multiple someones) with some goddamn *drive*. My wife never initiates, and I have to work my rear end off to get her in the mood. It's *always* been this way, it's not just a result of my cheating, and no I'm not a hideous troll.

Jesus, this is too long already, so I'll just stop here.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

-I spend a lot of time with girls, and my dad thinks I've slept with them all. I'm not like that at all, but I don't say anything because I think it would break his heart.

-I worry that I'm too effeminate at times. This is just because sometimes I like to cuddle, or just don't get angry over everything like 'real men do'. Also I worry I'm fat and ugly, I know I"m not but I think about it a lot.

-I killed a mother duck. I was driving along and her and her family of little ducks were crossing the road. I swerved to the little ones but the mother went right under the car. I looked back and saw the feathers flying in the air. I cried (see: worrying is effeminate). Thats the worst I've felt, and its so horrible I haven't told any of my friends ever.

-An ex from a couple years back was a horrible part of my life and dragged my self confidence to absolute zero. I hate myself for still thinking about her and would probably get together with her if she ever asked. Which baffles my mind.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

im mormon and masturbate twice a day.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I stole well over $10,000 worth of computer equipment nicluding 5 whole computers and 3 monitors from my high school by carring it strait through the front doors. Another goon helped me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Hey-

This is the " band guy "

I just read some of the replies and I'm laughing.. one thing I wont say is, sorry, Im not in RadioHead ( I wish we sold that many albums.. )

The negative review was written in a thread, not a front page article. I only remember him because he is now the " Your Band Sucks " guy and I laugh at anyone who critisizes what they themselves cannot do, even adaquately. I wont play guessing games as to who I am or what band I'm in, but trust me, you're probably building it up in your heads. We've been on MTV a couple of times since 2002, when we had our biggest hit ( although we have a pretty decent one out now ) and we just released an album.

I have another confession -

Reading the story about the brother and sister honestly had me thinking for about 20 minutes.. does that poo poo really happen? To the guy who wrote it, you never mentioned how old you were when it all stopped and if you've ever considered going back to it..

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I confess my confession will be tame compared to some of the bizare poo poo I have read in this thread. Perhaps, someone will be entertained by my weirdness anyway.

I once flushed a live cockroach down the toilet. As I watched it struggle, I was struck with immense guilt. Yes, you read that right. I felt guilty for flushing a cockroach, the most disgusting, foul creature to exist, and conceded I had no right to take it's life. I suppose I should consider capital punishment to be wrong as well, but I actually feel it is under-utilized. Hypocritical? Perhaps.

I have not had a girlfriend since my freshmen year of high school. She was one of my best friends before the romantic relationship began and there was no drama or anything of that sort involved. It was sweet; I told her I liked her, she decided she felt the same and after eight months we mutually parted. No regrets, no sarcasm. This confession is not about her though, but the pathetic mess that came after.

I spent the of high school longing for another girl, another friend of mine (see a pattern here?). In retrospect, I could have had her; but, I could never tell her how I felt. I guess I was unable to handle the vulnerability of it. I still talk to her to this day, I doubt I will ever tell her. I also doubt she does not already know.

Since confessing e-crushes seems to be the trend I'm going to go ahead and admit I have a silly crush for HotCharity. She seems like a nice girl and, assuming that it is in fact her in her profile pic, has pretty eyes. I also like to think she is a biter.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

As so many before me I am desperately in love with an ex-girlfriend. So much so that if anyone hurts her I WILL kill them upon her request.

An interesting side note:
I am a fairly good looking guy (or at least I'm told).I will not have sex with anyone now. However I constanty flirt/pick up on every "piece of tail" and I mean every that I see. I am an attention whore. I have a stack of atleast 30 phone numbers from work this week. They range from girls 14 year olds to one lady who is 50-something and a few guys. I am 20 and I hate every last one of the people in that stack.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

forgive me father, for i have sinned and havent been to confession in years because religion is bullshit.

when i was a kid i used to steal my older sisters pantyhose and prance around in them. later when i was a teenager i remembered this, and curiosity got the better of me, so i went for a rummage in their drawers. i found my sister had a really sexy pair of black thigh highs, so i wore them and jacked off a few times. thinking back about that is really hosed up, i cant imagine how that held any appeal. though a few months back i slept over at a friend of mines flat. she is insanely hot (perfect shes better looking than say rachel weisz or liz hurley), and when she left for work in the morning i rummaged in her drawers for something erousing but came up empty.

im 22 and a virgin. my family were similarily late bloomers. im not ugly, just completely inhibited and am unable to ask a girl for sex. when i was 18 my best friend was going out with a slut, she nearly cheated on him with me a few times. eventually they broke up, and she got together with someone else. she then did cheat on him with me, i got us both drunk and took her to a bush. i was so drunk then that i could not perform, which was probably for the best because i didnt have a condom and the ground was wet. she was soaking wet from lieing down on her back with her pants around her ankles but i only got my knees dirty. im grateful for small mercies.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

There was a time in my life when I videotaped myself masturbating and masturbated to that footage. Why? I have no idea.

My digital camera can record videos, and I used it to tape my girlfriend and I having sex. I only watched it twice, and have since deleted it. She doesn't know about it.

I've jerked it to pictures of Nina Williams from Tekken.

When my girlfriend and I were 'just friends,' we used to sleep together when we had sleepovers. I just liked having a girl with me, and she was OK with because she 'liked' me. Well, I was a virgin at the time, and she has big boobs, so I couldn't resist touching them while she was apparently asleep. Once she started going to bed with me without wearing a bra, I would slowly lift up her shirt and suck her nipple. The first time I did this was the first time I had ever seen a girl's bare breast in real life. During my 'midnight molestations' I would jerk off, and sometimes I would get it on her and freak out. I did this every time we slept together. Every time I did it, I would feel really guilty afterwards, because it seemed like some precursor to date rape. I thought it was wrong and would always swear that I'd never do it again, but I always did. She did have a boyfriend at the time, as well.

I just recently told her about it, and she confessed that she was awake pretty much every time I did it. She said she liked it, though, and that she wanted to watch me jerk off. She would have tried to take it further with me if it weren't for the fact she knew I'd be completely mortified if she "woke up" in the middle of my shenanigans. I was shocked - I thought that if she knew, she'd hate me forever. But she kept coming back, so I figured I was just really smooth.

I was pretty stupid for not getting the hint sooner - it was apparently no coincidence that she wore less and less clothes to bed every time we slept together.

I guess my confession has turned into more of a funny anecdote, but whatever.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

These are some more stupid and embarrassing confessions, because some of
the others are so drat depressing.

Anyways, I am probably one of the preppiest people I know. In high school
I was a senior favorite for best dressed. I come off to many adults as a
very wholesome and successful college student. HOWEVER, once I get in the
car, it's like a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde transformation. I'll blast the
ghettoest blackest rap music I can find and totally get into it and sing
along. Stoplight? Well, I'll turn it down. I'm not talking about like
Eminem, but the East Bay stuff like Mac Dre, Frontline, Keak da Sneak,
etc.

Speaking of cars, this one is more for AI, but there was once a video of
some guy with a Honda Civic EX posted on a Dodge SRT-4 thread. People
laughed at the video because it was supposed to show how fast his car was
compared with the obviously faster turbocharged SRT-4s. In this video,
when he shifts into second he yells "VTEC!" and into third he exlaims "Oh
poo poo, that's fast!" (it wasn't). As funny as this sounds when I have to
pass someone or accelerate quickly I now grit my teeth and do the same
thing under my breath. Hell, I do it on my bike.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been a long-rear end time since
my last confession.

I've been reading SA for five years, and I have never posted anything of
merit.

I am almost certainly one of the ugliest forum members. I'm a little
overweight--not fat, just doughy--but I can't be bothered to exercise,
because you know, I'm still going to be hideous. I'm 25, sleep on my
Grandmother's couch and work a nametag job, and I'm so lonely it feels like
it's the only emotion I can experience. I feel a deep sadness whenever I
read the many posts on the forums from goons who are lonely and want a
friend, any friend, because there's so many of them, but they never actually
get together. If you live in the western Mass/Connecticut area and want to
do something, anything (except go out drinking, I'm bar-phobic) with a
lonely nerd, feel free to email me at sa@gelatinouscube.com (domain
registered through a proxy so my address isn't on the whois.) Or if you just
want to talk online, I guess that's okay, too. Even having a stalker seems
like it would be awesome.

Lastly, thanking you for posting the thread. When I saw the title I
thought it was going to be a huge trainwreck, but it's actually the most
content-rich thread I've read in my entire time on the forums. Thanks!

P.S. Even though I live in western Mass I AM NOT loving ESCO.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 12:10

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm 19. I was living in orange county, Cfornia just
a few months ago on my own. I did sales at Lincoln
dealership and made a lot of money, had a wonderful
girlfriend, and had lots of people that care about me
there. my girlfriend dumped me and this caused me to
become severely depressed. I called my parents that
day and told them I was coming home. I ended up
telling my bosses, all of my friends and my ex that my
father was sick and that I had to return home
immediately. tons of people went way out of their way
to help me get back home safely to my ailing father,
but in rety, I was leaving because I'm a little
bitch and I let my heart be broken. I drove back home
to NJ and now I am joining the army.

my parents, who were happy to have me home, have been
crushed by my decision to enlist. I plan to join the
82nd airborne infantry. I hope that I get killed in
action over in Iraq because I want my home town to
mourn my death and remember me as a hero. I use heroin
every so often, even though I claim that I've been
sober for 10 months.

I've got so many more that are so much worse than
this, but I regret leaving cfornia so much because
I truly do love the girl that dumped me and I wish I
had stayed there because I would wait patiently to get
her back.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

My cousin was staying in my room one time when I was
14 and she was about 12. She was adopted by my aunt
and uncle, so she wasn't a blood cousin. But she was
playing games on my computer at about 2am and I jacked
off in my bunk bed not 5 feet away looking at her. She
never knew.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to be friends with this girl. She was one of the cooler people
I've known. She was smart, funny, had good taste in music and movies
and whatnot. She was very small, she couldn't have been much more
than 5 feet tall, had an average figure, had some acne, and wore
glasses. I could see how someone else would have considered her to
pretty cute, but I'm 6'4", decently built, and it's not particularly
my thing. She also had some family problems, a crazy bitch of a mom,
and she had an on/off relationship with some quasi-abusive prick.

At one point, she started talking to me a lot online. And by a lot, I
mean if I was online, she was there. I'm fairly positive she screwed
up her sleep schedule by a good margin to talk to me at 3 in the
morning. I enjoyed the conversation, but it was pretty obvious that
she had a crush on me. I wanted to say something instead of leading
her on, but I was terrified that I would be wrong and everything would
have become extremely awkward. So I kept talking to her, even though
I knew that I was probably a jerk for letting it continue. This went
on for a couple of weeks, at which point she finally asked me out and
I told her that I didn't like her that way.

She stopped talking to me and I'm not really sure how quickly she got
over it. I started dating one of her hot friends a few months later
but she ultimately ended up bugging the poo poo out of me. Sometimes I
wish I weren't such a prick.

"Oh great, I made myself sad again."

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

One day the world will be controlled by the illuminati and that doesn�t
scare me. The entire world will be the slaves of an elite rich class and
billions of us will die. And this doesn�t scare me. Albert Pike wrote about
the 3 world wars it would take to bring about a one world government
describing in 1870 how WW1 and WW2 went and what the purpose and effect of
those wars is. I�m afraid to voice this to others because they may think I
am crazy even thou a lot of this is plane as day. My Girlfriend broke up
with my because she was a bush supporter and I wouldn�t vote for bush
because his grandfather funded the Nazi�s and Hitler�s rise to power and
even funded him during the war, she didn�t believe me called me insane and
broke up with me even thou what I told her is stated in public record. The
Media and most Americans make me sick because they want war in the Middle
East and call you a racist if you don�t agree with what Israel as a country
does. I�m actually kind of happy inside because Pike�s 3rd World war
involves Israel (btw 1948 Israel established pike wrote this in 1870) and
the Muslim world destroying each others completely� I am happy because id
prefer there be more white people in the future� I actually want billions of
people to die just so in the future there�s no overcrowding and race mixing�
I am a horrible person and I might be crazy. Also I scammed people in
MMORPG`s for $1000`s I never stole $$ just scammed items and sold them for
lots and lots and lots of money and I have no regrets.

Now that i think of it i hate people mostly because 95% of people think
astral projection is bullshit and i hate them for it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to cum into my bedsheets for more than 3 years. My mom had to wash em full of sperm.

I also used my boyscout socks as masturbation devices and came into them, they were totally sealed with "crazy-glue" and my mom gave them to charity without washing them.

I also used to rub myself on the pillow and my mom saw the stains and sent them back to the manufacturer because they got "mold" or something.

I hosed the slit between cushions in the couch. The couch was "leather" (imitation) so I used dishwasher soap as lubricant. Just smelling dishwater soap now makes me horny.

The first time I wanked I tried to suck my own penis but couldn't reach so I just spit a big wad of spit into my hand and used it as lubricant.

I really like to wank, I'm also a 26 year old virgin.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I go to the bathroom, more specifically to number 2, I like to pick my nose and flick the boogers into the toilet. Not into the water, just on to the inside of the bowl. While i'm sitting there, I also like to run my fingers through my body hair and catch any strays in my fist or inbetween my fingers. I drop those in the bowl too. When I'm finished with my business, I stand up, flush, and watch the mess of boogers and hair swirl off the bowl and down the drain. I get a strange sense of pleasure from this. I'm sure there's a neurosis for the pulling of loose body hair, but I don't know what it is.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've been married a year. Happily I thought, until I found out my husband cheated on me 3 times (that I know of) prior to us being married. He confessed to the cheating because I caught him chatting up girls on the Internet.

This happened 4th of July weekend, this year. Before this happened, I would have said we had a pretty good relationship, and that he would have stepped in front of a bullet for me.

Now though...I don't know. This is marriage #2 for me, and I am embarrassed to leave him and end up divorced twice so young. I love him...but I don't look at him the way I used to. It's been less than 8 weeks since I found out, but I don't know if I can ever be intimate with him ever again. I'm living a lie - I haven't told a single person about this. Most times I push it out of my head. He's in therapy now...and swears he's sorry and that it was in the past. I don't know if I believe him.

I'm scared, and alone. I am dying inside. I don't know what to think and I am afraid to tell anyone in my family. I need to talk to someone - but the thing is, if I ever told anyone in my family or my friends they would hate my husband forever, and if we make it through this...I couldn't live with them hating him.

I love my husband so loving much, I would do anything for him. But now...I can't help but wonder. I feel like I want to pack my car up and leave forever.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a closet homosexual who masturbates to gay furry porn pretty much every single day. My grandmother is pretty close to death and I don't dare come out until then, because I'm certain she wouldn't leave me any money if she knew I was gay.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I took care of a three-year-old girl one summer, and had a very positive experience of it. I didn't know what I did right, given she could hardly speak a word, but she liked me and trusted me. I haven't seen her since then, and she's eight now.

I called the camp where I took care of her to get the family's address so I could send a card for the holiday season. I sent a card but got no response. A year later I walked eleven miles to the house (for no real reason), and saw a real estate sign in front of it. About ten months after that, I sent a letter to that same address and put "RETURN SERVICE REQUESTED" on the envelope. I eventually got the letter back with a new address on it. Within six months, I had gone to that house as well (taking buses though). I wrote a couple of letters and never got a response. That summer I wrote a letter (this time only addressed to the mom) about what a beneficial experience the initial summer had been for me, tacitly promising I wouldn't write them any more unless written to. Two years later, I've gone to that house (now by bicycle) several times more, and once saw the mother (without her seeing me).

Thanks to the internet, I know what school the girl and her sister go to. I found two pictures of her sister involved in a drama production of the school (they were cast picture and she wasn't very recognizable, but the captions named everyone in the picture, she has a unique enough name, and the school was in the right location). I found out the girl had gotten an honorable mention for her artwork in a county fair (its website had a document that named names, grades, and schools of the winners, and everything matched up). I have gone by the school twice.

I knew the mom's name but not the dad's, but a site that lets you search property listings had the two as co-owners. (I'd have had to pay for the address of the property, but I didn't need that.) Knowing the dad's name, I found out where he works and what he does. I have not been by where he works. (Yet.)

To sum up, I've been stalking a child (though with no ill intent) for years, even though she probably doesn't remember me. Knowing myself, I doubt that I'd do anything if I saw her (I absolutely wouldn't do anything bad, but I don't think I'd try to even make any verbal contact). And I'd probably continue in my now-established ways.

No matter how much I've liked the kids I've worked with since then (even if they never come back after the first summer), I've never let myself get to this level of obsession about anyone else. At least I'm at a point where I don't find myself hoping to find a letter from the family when I check the mail.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have LOADS of friends, but deep down i know they all don't like me, even when they say nice things about me on myspace i know they're lying. Sometimes when we're in a group and i'm recounting an amusing anecdote, someone else starts an entirely different conversation, right in the middle of when i'm talking and everyone listens to him - like i'm not even there. Sometimes i wonder if i'm actually dead, like in that film the sixth sense. Somewhat related, I also wish i could die, but still sort of be around, so i could see what people say about me.

Oh and i take a piss in the kitchen sink when i'm on the computer because it's nearer than the bathroom.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I really like candles. I mean sexually. I like taking the long white smooth dinner candles and inserting them into my rectum while I jack off. I also like to light candles and let the hot wax drip on my toenails, fingernails, nipples and groin area (but not the penis--too much pain I found out the hard way once). I use my hot wax coated fingernails as a masturbation aid. There's something incredibly erotic about running my still warm wax covered fingernails up and down my dick. I always end up shooting huge wads quite far when I do it this way.

I've never brought this up with any of my girlfriends. I'm incredibly embarassed by it, but it's such a huge turn on. I think with my next girlfriend I'm going to confess it to her. My fantasy is to have her drip the hot wax on my nipples as I come while she rides me cowboy style.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I confess that I had my first orgasm during an erotic dream I had in my grandmothers bed with either my grandmother or my mother. (Im not quite sure but I think it was my mother...)

I remember waking up thinking, "What in the world was that?" I only rezed what it was years later when I actually started to masturbate.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

this girl i met one time, she was all pretty and sparkly with life. she had a smile like everything was alright. we walking in the park, just alone for a moment and all perfect with no clouds in the sky and no eyes around just looking for sinful things. when bam, something very sinister happens my friend.

shes all red and my hands are red and im still seeing red but thats just from the blood. there are some dirty little parts that follow but anyway, for one moment i was truly in love.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me.

One night 3 years ago in the winter time, myself and three friends were driving around looking for things to do. We bought a gallon of chilled drinking water from a Safeway, cut the top of the jug off and drove around until we saw a homeless person. Once we saw one, we drove up and threw the water all over him. It was barely 15 degrees out. I have hated myself for a long, long time for this. I still do. Now, I try and make up for it by being generous with the homeless people I encounter now. I imagine in a given month I hand out 50-60 dollers. I know that doesn't make what I did ok, but I'm trying.

I have been a poo poo head to girls too. I once met a girl at a party and spent the whole night trying to get into her pants. We talked and it turns out that she's not a party girl-casual sex kind of girl. Once I heard that, it became my mission to post her. She eventually convinced herself that it would be ok since she liked me. We did it. The next day she called and wanted to go out and do something, and for some reason, the next thing out of my mouth was this. "Let's not try the whole 'relationship' thing. I would never date a girl that I hosed the first night we met." I was such an rear end in a top hat. I hate myself everyday for that. She was a nice girl, and pretty hot too. I don't know why I was so hateful to her. I want to run into her again. I want her to kick me in the balls. I want her to call me names. I want her boyfriend to kick my rear end and trash my car. I deserve it.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Well I'll start off, after looking at this thread addictivly I decided I'll pay for an account. Not today or tomarrow but friday when I get paid and can use my check card. On that note let me get some poo poo off my chest.

Through my work I've come across two credit cards, which I could easily use, I just have a big fear of getting caught. I was quite sure I was going to even buy an account with one until I knocked that thought outa my head.

This one only 3 people might know of, since I told them of this topic. they are lurkers although one might be a goon... in anycase I'll get on with it.

It started in April I hosed one my best friends out of $35 because I told him twice if he was going to pay for a ticket, wensday the night before the event I had asked him clearly (although he may have been drunk since we had a 4 park of sparks each) he stated he would pay me, on the following saturday I asked him to pay up. Appearently he got a ticket for speeding, something I wasn't pleased to hear since I thought he might have lied at first. After a discussion I found out he bought pot with some his "valuable" money and proceeded to get pissed because infact I was going to smoke him with that money in turn had he paided me. So I start to freak out since I lose my temper over poo poo and ended up just leaving, crying (no one knew this) and basicly felt like a dumbass for trusting who I thought was a friend. on the following sunday it got late and my parents had talked to me about it, they decided they wanted to talk to him because I'm truethful about my life and hold nothing back. Drama starts, I get my money then come the following monday all poo poo hits the fan as I meet him with at a friends house, we try to talk it out. Obviously I was wong but I wanted to make it up to him. After having all my friends taking his side since he is manipulative with people, I get basicly ex-communicated from them and hang out with them once in a blue moon. Soon after I see him again and treat him just like I used too and could careless what mistake I had done, after all I was only human, not to mention I've never had real world experience coming from a shelted family.

Well come about another week after this happened it turns out he totally hosed me over with every contact I knew except two, which were more or less neutral with the event since it didn't involve them. My social circle collapsed, now it is to the point where I wish he would get a DWI/smash his weed pipe/tell his parents about everything. :fastforward:: A month ago he does get in fact a DWI, weed pipe found by the cops and his stash, I felt overwhelmingly happy (never admited this) although sad I didn't directly cause the event to happen (ratting him out). Well karma did the job for me.

This is the part I think my friends will easily find out who I am; I wish I could take back my action, I am sorry. Jeff is a dick/rear end in a top hat, whatever, and wont grow up I guess I'll never get to hang out with you guys, since you never contact me to do anything, infact it so bad I have to show up uninvited just to hang out with people that I consider a friend, and tell me to my face they are my friend as well. Christ I feel almost like loving doing harm to their cars, I wont, but I feel like it. Well I guess it comes down to if they know who I am, they should really charish what friends they have and make sure that Jeff isn't going to gently caress them over since he has in the past with just about everyone. I find it worse that I'd like to invite them to a party I'm having in September but I doubt I will and will purpossly brag about how awsome it is. I infact hope I get shrooms and brag to them just because they are druggies like myself and hopefully feel as left out as I do/did when I try/tried to hang out.

Appearently getting banned from a house is some big deal when I can just as easily unban him since my parents are easily swaded towards my feeling about my friends, especially since he got his DWI (this would easy to say he is a straight edge and wont drink till he's 21 and quit pot).

My other confession I guess could be I miss 2 girls I met and had their numbers but never called them (one not for 3 years so I deleted her number, although it is in my yearbook )
Somehow if they lurk here I'd love to talk to you Jessica K from osseo, and Justine from counter-strike.

ending notes: I'm happy with my life and all especially since I got into Brown College and play video games all day, but I'm still missing a girl to talk to poo poo about...internet doesn't cut it anymore. I'm glad as well that an old friend wants to hang out a lot now, although a bit of an alcoholic, it is okay, no one is perfect and I accept him for that.

---sorry for any errors I wrote this slightly drunk. gently caress this confession felt good, ght release of pent up stress.

Don't post drunk, or admit it after you sign up.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Confessed pedo here, not molester etc

Jackson was almost certainly not a child molester. The family that made the case against him were in it purely for the money. Basically, that Martin Bashir documentary made Jackson look VERY bad. With good reason too, the guy is a bit of a fuckup. He seems to be a pretty terrible parent, and is just completely oblivious to what passes as normal out here in the real world.

The family saw that, and basically twisted it around to make it seem like Jackson was a child molester. Their lawyer hoped to win big by turning the jury against child molesters in general, as opposed to Jackson (which is pretty easy, nobody likes molesters) and then get them to convict him based on the ground that molesters are bad.

Jackson is a fuckup, but he didn't deserve all that. I would like it if the family got some kind of punishment for pulling that poo poo, but that's pretty impossible.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

From about age 10, I noticed that my older brother and my older sister used to sneak off to his room and lock the bedroom door. I couldn't see what was happening from under the door so I went outside and peeked in the window. I saw the two of them naked (he was 13 and she was 12) on the bed. Instead of running to tell our parents what was going on, I got insanely jealous about what I thought was their 'love', whatever that means at age 10.

I didn't tell and they messed around for years. I caught them several times and even participated. I hated my brother for what he did but I couldn't conceptuze what was happening as abuse that required outside intervention. It all ended when my sister entered highschool and began to fight off his advances.

I recently sat her down and apologized for not telling someone to intervene but she admitted that our parents did know and refused to do anything about it to 'protect the family'. Great parents...

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

'm a 24 year old male. I've been raped twice in my life, once when I was 6 and later when I was 11.

While it really sucks, I've gotten counselling and actually value the little meaning that there is when sexing up your girl.

Well, a year or so ago, my friend's ex broke up with him and she hit on me. Basicly I was offered free sex for as long as I wanted. If I was willing to give her a roof over her head, I could have my own sex slave. I sucked on her, fingered her, everything but sticking mr. happy in to her.

Well I'm starting to kick myself for not getting laid. I wank off once every other day and I feel bad about it.

I've started figuring out that I'd like a girlfriend (I have yet to actually have a real one, I'm that pathetic) but I'm dumbfounded where I should be going at college to find them.
I figure that I'll just hit up a number of clubs and organizations but I'm really pretty stupid on the subject.

I'm so pathetic that even "friendly" compliments make me feel happy for days.

The sad thing is, I have a world ton of talents and abilities.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Forgive me father for I have sinned. I think.
Since arriving in SF, on business, all I have been thinking about is how cool it would be to get laid by an American girl. That accent just does it for me.

We don't have accents, YOU do! (I'm jus fukin wit you dawg.)

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have a borderline obsession with the Metal Gear Solid series. I have beaten the original game over 30 times, and have memorized areas, strategies, guard patterns, and dialog to the point where I play the game in my head when trying to get to sleep.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was a little kid, I stole a bunch of Legos from a kid on the bus and punched him in the face when he said he'd tell the bus driver. I was rabid about Legos I would completely ignore my homework to build humongous Lego cities in my room.

I feel horrible about the kid on the bus in hindsight because right before I mugged him, we were talking enthusiastically about how awesome Legos are, and I found out later that he was very poor and those Legos were a birthday present. ;_;

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have held this in for too long. Back when I was in high school i was involved in the "Best-Buddies" program which basically had high school students tutoring and mentoring the mentally retarded. While I only did this to pad my resume for college, another factor also kept me in the program, Allison. Allison was the retarded girl who I was mentoring and if you ignored her face and the fact that she had the intelligence of my pet iguana, she was pretty hot! So one day I decided to invite her to my house for "extra-curricular activities". We went into my bedroom and I locked the door, I asked her if she wanted to play a game and she obliged. I called it "Captain Crunch" (dont ask me why, I just remembered what I had for breakfast). Well the object of the game was for her to spread her legs open as far as possible while laying down, I then proceeded to blind fold her and put a paper bag over her face. I pulled down her skirt and panties and went to town on her, she would make several weird moans like a mastadon or something but I didnt care. We played this game several more times until I rezed THAT I WAS HAVING REGULAR INTERCOURSE WITH A RETARDED PERSON. I cut it off, quit the program and went on with my life. Thinking back on it though, it was the best sex I ever had and I have a fairly large erection from just typing this out.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Now I�ve wanted to get this �cleaned up� for a long while, but I�ve always hard a hard time finding good info on google, and of course who knows what the people on the SA forums would unleash on me with this post. So, I use this service in hopes someone can help me out�

Like most Internet Males, I have a perfect penis. It�s long, thick, and gets women off just by them looking at it. It�s so perfect in fact, when all my amazingly hot, rich girlfriends pull it out of my shorts, it changes shape and size to fit their anatomy perfectly! Fantastic!!

The only problem is this � I�m uncut and can�t get rid of the drat smegma that forms around the bottom of the head of my penis. I wash myself regularly, I make sure to wash my entire wang and dry it off, other such things. The smegma remains, however! It�s not terribly nasty or anything, but I don�t really care for the looks.

What can I do?

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

-At age 5 i was "touched" by a much older male. He taught me how to masturbate.
-At age 9 me and a friend (he was my age as well) took this 8 year old girl up a hill and fondled her.
-At age 12 I touched my cousins vagina while she was sleeping. She was 9 at that time.
-At age 13 i was still sleeping with my brother since we had to share rooms. When he was asleep i put his hands on my penis just to see how it would feel like when someone ELSE touched it.
-Sometimes i feel that i'm a bisexual, but i prefer women a lot more.

Currently i am 19. I know that these things were just out of curiosity, but nonetheless i am deeply ashamed of these actions and i probably will be ashamed of them for the rest of my life. The man that touched me when i was little, i sometimes feel like i just want to kill him, chop him up to pieces, put him in a fire and piss on his loving corpse. Will these girls also remember what i did to them and also feel this way, I wonder. I can't even look my cousin in the eyes right now just because of what i did.

Sometimes i'd burst into tears, and start thinking about ways to kill myself. I have a good family and lot's of friends. I'll probably never forgive myself for what i've done.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Throughout all of my life I have never really done anything because I wanted to do it, but simply because everyone else around me does. All of my friends got their driver�s license? Well gently caress, even though I have no desire at all to drive, I might as well get mine. All of my friends have to deal with a lovely minimum wage job? I don�t need any extra cash and I don�t buy a whole lot of things, but what the hell I want to be as miserable as everyone else. So many decisions I�ve made in my life or sudden spurs of motivation in me were simply because I started to feel like I was the last man out. I didn�t want to be different because nobody really does. This doesn�t bother me nearly as much as it should but I would guess it is because even though a lot of what I do is so I can �fit in� and relate with my friends, I�m still such a loving outcast that it kind of makes me laugh.

The real confession though is even though I enjoy being around one of my friends in private I secretly hate being around him in public. I hang out with him all the time and from what I�ve noticed I�m one of the few people who make him laugh and he does enjoy having me around. We are like any other friends, we give each other poo poo a lot but we know we�re joking so we don�t take it too seriously. Every now and then I act like I�m more offended than I am just to hear him say that he�s sorry because sometimes I forget that he does care.

I envy a lot about him but the main thing is how many friends he has. I myself only have maybe two or three good friends when really deep down inside they could all go gently caress themselves. When walking around campus with him you can�t go more than ten feet without someone saying hello to him or wanting to know how he is doing. Many of these people, like dozens out of the hundreds that know him, know who I am too. Everyday I have to go through the feeling that nobody really gives a poo poo about me. I know it is a stupid thing to want, to be someone that has so many �fake� friends but I know I�m not the only one who gets bothered by this kind of thing.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I got tired of my 3rd grade teacher so I convinced my mother to transfer me
to another school. We got a 15 minute break during class where we could go
watch stuff like Fraggle Rock, so I told my mom that she made us watch TV
and wouldn't let me do my homework during that time instead. I think my mom
still believes this to be true.

I stayed with my ex-girlfriend for 3 months after I knew it was over for me
partly because I had a lot more money when she was paying half of the bills,
and partly because she was hinting that she wanted to try a threesome with
her hot friend.

I own a copy of every major MMO but play none of them, because I always
believe the hype.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

While I was playing Magic the Gathering at lunch in high school, some kid
came up, interested in the game, and asked if the cards were worth anything.
I immediately snapped back without even rezing it, "They're worth more
than you are!" in a really nasty tone to make myself feel important. Its not
really that big a deal, but I still feel terrible when I think about it.

This is a fake email I once used to pretend to be a woman in a sex chatroom
and convinced most of the men present to send me naked pictures, then told
them I was a post-op male-to-female transexual.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I cheated on my last two long-term boyfriends with the samy guy - my best friend's older brother. Neither one of my exes ever found out, nor did the girls that my friend's brother was dating at the time. Both times we were drunk. We just made out and one of the times he asked me if he could go down on me and I said no.

I cheated on one of the exes mentioned above with a guy I met at school. We had the worst sex I had ever had in my life. Then he had sex with my best friend because I told her that she should meet him (I really did think that they would have been a decent couple) but she still to this day doesn't know that we ever messed around.

I cheated on my future husband about a week ago. This guy that I cheated on him with - I got his hopes up really high by telling him that we should have dated and would have made a good couple, but it was just a moment of weakness on my part and I never really felt that way. I never felt guilty about the other cheating incidents but this one is eating me up inside. I think about my infidelity day and night and don't know what I would do if he ever found out. I feel like a horrible person and don't deserve someone like him. I like to consier myself a good, faithful girlfriend but the more I look back on things it doesn't seem to be true and I feel like the biggest piece of poo poo for it, but I know I'll never do it again.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

-----------------------------------
I enjoy gurochan. I love blood. I like the taste. I fantasize about
having my chest ripped open, and shooting myself in the head. I want
to die in the most terrible way possible. I want to mutilate myself,
but I'm scared of pain.
------------------------------------
I used to fantasise a great deal about having sex with my moderately
attractive cousin. I enjoy insex videos very much, and would love to
experiment with that kind of thing but I have no idea how I would find
someone who was willing to come along for the ride. I'd post more
stuff but I think it would become possible for some people to figure
out who this is.
------------------------------------

Each time I read a post like this, I want to fly over to where ever
the person is, and indulge their fantasies. I want to rape the gently caress
out of them, make them bleed, tie them up and proceed to do all sorts
of nasty and vile things to their body, till they scream and cant take
any more.

Always using safewords and poo poo like that. I dont want to hurt them
permanantly, but i get off on making other people get off. Plus I
really dig dirty sex. If you can think of a fetish, chances are I have
whacked off to it. Beastiality, scat, bdsm, rape, snuff, torture all
get my motor running. I dont do underage stuff, but i honestly dont
care if people do. I am always willing to try something new.

To all the people who like this stuff deep down and cant find anyone
to have fun with, I am more than happy to chat with you about it.
sa.whore@gmail.com.

what else? Lets see. Im currently in a loving, commited relationship
for about 2.5 years. There is no chance in hell of me ever leaving
this woman. Partly for the fact she likes rough sex, and doesn't mind
bringing other people into bed with us. Which brings me to my next
confession.

I am roommates with another goon. I have been loving his sister for
the last year or so, on and off. She gives great head, and I have
since helped her forfill one of her fantasies by spit roasting her. My
roommate would kill me if he found out, and has already thrown one guy
out of the house for loving her.

I am probably slightly bi. I dont know. I havent really done anything
with any guys, and honestly, the thought of kissing a guy makes me
feel a little queasy. Having said that, I often fantasize about
choking on cock, or getting hosed hard. To this end, for the last 13
years, I have slowly been working on making my rear end in a top hat as large as
possible. I can almost fist myself, and probably would be able to,
except I can never find the right angle. I have also been practising
deep throating dildos. I figure it will be a skill that comes in handy
one day.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a man, and I've been raped three times. Twice in my childhood, once when I was in my 20s.

The first was when I was 3 or so. My Dad took me to work one day when he was doing a room addition on a house. Two neighborhood kids came by, said they'd look after me. I don't know why he fell for that. They held up what I think must have been the click-end of a split ballpoint pen and claimed that if they stuck it up my butt, I'd turn into King Kong. The one kid claimed that he'd done it, and it was awesome. This didn't sound like too good a deal to me, so I tried to run. They held me against a wall, got my pants down, and started to rape me. Somehow, I got away, and the first really vivid memory I have in my life is of running down an inner city street with my pants around my ankles screaming for my father while these two douchebags ran up the street in the other direction in a blind panic, and my Dad, white as a sheet, running toward me, just screaming "No no no no no" over and over again and holding me for what seemed like a year while I cried my heart out. I have no idea what happened to those kids, and I never, ever, ever discussed this with either of my parents.

The other time I was raped as a child was by my mother. I remember very little of it. She brought it up only once, after my father died. She tried to apologize for it without having to say what it was she did. Considering everything else she did to me, I didn't see the point in even discussing it, so I hung up on her. She hasn't mentioned it since. I've told a couple of people about the first thing. I've never told anyone about my mother. I look forward to her dying, as she is a manipulative oval office. I look forward to having a child, so that I can watch her face sink when I tell her she'll never be allowed alone in a room with the child. Ever. If she cries, I'll laugh in her face. When she dies, I'll dance on her grave. I pretend to be civil with her, out of respect for my father's memory.

Then, when I was in my 20s and stupid, I picked up an incredibly hot chick at a show I was in. We went to a friend's apartment to use his hot tub to gently caress. She got me hot and bothered, we fooled around... and then she mounted me before I could put on a rubber. She put her hand around my throat so tight I could barely breathe and hosed me so hard it hurt. I really don't know why I didn't fight harder, since she was a tiny thing, but she was also a dancer, and amazingly strong, and obviously loving nuts, as she bit me hard enough to draw blood while she hosed me. I came inside her despite myself. She called me a month later demanding money for an abortion, and I hung up the phone on her. She called and left fifteen messages in a row calling me every name in the book. I kept the tape for a while in case she tried anything. Never heard from her again, thank God. My penis was actually bleeding by the time she was done with me.

My wife does not kiss. I love her with all my heart, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But she never kisses, never makes out with me, only fucks me. The sex is really good, but it's not enough anymore, and I long to kiss and make out with someone, anyone, so bad it hurts. I fantasize about having a mistress that I never gently caress, only make out with and fool around with. It's killing me. I wish there were other things wrong with the marraige to give me an excuse to cheat, but, frankly, I don't want anyone else but her. The only time I brought this up, she shut down, and refused to discuss it. It's not worth the grief, so I suffer in silence.

I have only two people in the world I consider friends, and I hardly talk to either of them. I am so lonely sometimes I could weep, but I know I'm loving insane, so I keep my distance from people. If it hadn't been for my wife, I'd have gone nuts years ago. As it is, I'm one bad day away from becoming a hermit.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 18:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 02:54

Pimpsolo: Jun 6, 2004

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I completely and utterly destroyed a friends social life about a year ago. I'll call him "Jon". I had known him since 3rd grade. hell, we had traveled to Europe together with People2People. At the time, my friends and I were all into the Xanga thing for some reason. Well, my best friend and I were at Jon's house and my best friend logged into his Xanga to check on something. He forgot to log out and just closed the browser window. I loving knew what was coming. Less than an hour after we leave Jon's house, I see a post on my best friends Xanga along the lines of "Yeah, I just had gay sex with [I accidently posted my name here but Pimpsolo was nice enought to edit it out.] It was pretty good." I instantly knew it was Jon. I confronted him and told him that I would let him off the hook if he apologized. He swore up and down that it wasn't him.

I was pissed. He would still be a friend if he had said it was him then, but since he didn't, I thought that I would do what he did to me. I went to his AIM account first. His password was easy as poo poo to guess (It was "poop"). After I logged in to his account, I then broke up with his current girlfriend. After that, I went to his email account. His secret question was "What is the name of your pet?" I knew that. I sat and watch the things he email. He made plans with some one? I canceled them. He signed up for a sight? I deleted the confirmation message before he could see them. After about a week and a half,I confronted him again, and he said that he was sorry. Well, it was already too late, he had gone from one of the more popular kids at our school, to having to hang out with the kids who played yugioh cards in the science room during lunch. I have no regrets at all. He was a pompous rear end who thought he was the best thing since sliced bread.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The first time I ever had an orgasm was when I was 16 and I hosed a puppet.
It was a Lamb Chops puppet from Lamb Chops Play Along.

My Dad is a she-male and he's/she's/it's a loving human being, even though I
feign indifference now (though he knows I don't approve I doubt he knows my
hate runs so deep) I've only told one person in my whole life about that.

I'm a 20 year old virgin but I'm a great dresser and consider myself pretty
attractive but I have social anxiety out the rear end among other things. I'm
constantly thinking WHAT THE gently caress IS WRONG WITH ME GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!
I've tried medication but the seratonin in the drugs make it so I can't come
when I spank it so I'm still trying other kinds of drugs without it.

I expiremented with my stepbrother when I was younger. laying naked
together and stuff. I stuck my dick in his mouth once.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

In high school, a kid asked me if I could change his grades in the school's computers because I was supposedly some super-hacker. I told him I could and charged him $20. I took his money and bought two new CDs with it and didn't change his grades. The next day, I told him I had done it. Three days later, he got to feeling guilty about it and asked me to change them back. I charged him another $20.

He just didn't want to fail because he was skipping class and getting drunk, and I don't feel guilty about it at all.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am quite shy around people, guys and girls, making it difficult for me to talk to most people (always second guessing myself, etc). I am also 17 and have never kissed a girl. Theres a girl I know who I am quite comfortable talking to. I am pretty sure she likes me but since she isn't great looking (not obese though) I am not quite interested in her that way. If she looked fine then I would be more than willing.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When my cousin was four or five, and I was around 11, I felt her up. I touched her pussy, and gave it a little squeeze. She just giggled, and nothing else happend. To this day, whenever I think of it, I am scared to death that she will ever tell anyone.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I lived with a bunch of alcoholics. We would have parties that would eventually end in fights and breaking poo poo.

Here are a few of the things that happened on these nights:

-Push a guy in the back that I was talking poo poo to when he started to walk away, ran up and punched him in the head and kicked him in the ribs and then started choking him trying to kill him, watch as all my friends kick and hit his car and his friends cars as they tried to leave

-stole a christmas tree from a grocery store

-found a jeep with the doors unlocked, put it into neutral and rolled it down a large hill, while I was running away with my 2 friends who helped me I heard it crash into something

-stole probably 30 pumpkins from a grocery store on multiple occassions and went around throwing them into rich people's houses and cars. On one of these nights my drunk friend ran over a curb and crashed into a construction site. His tire went flat, so we put on the spare and drove around stealing random tires trying to put them on his car. When one didn't work we would take it to the next car, jack it up, steal the tire and leave the previous tire under their axle. This night ended when we smashed a very small corner tire store's window and took the display tire. This tire didn't fit either.

-Broke into a very nice car and when we couldn't get the speakers out because they were bolted down so well we stabbed them with screwdrivers and tore out the whole dash to get the receiver

-busted out an RV's windows, pulled off all the gutters on an aluminum building and tried to hit each other with them, ran from the cops and hid under a back porch in the dirt

-tried to steal a car, but couldn't get it to start, however when it started blaring christian music we stabbed the radio till it stopped working with a screwdriver and put the car in neutral allowing it to go down a hill and smash into a car

-broke into a house and smashed everything inside including a large fish tank and stole their beer and computer

There are more things I need to confess, but they didn't happen while I was living in this house

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

For the longest time, I felt as though I was desperate for a relationship. I had not been with anyone or even kissed another person at that point (due to confidence issues, but I've gotten over that now).
One night, in college, I was at a party where I ended up picking up this girl who had apparently been interested in me for a while. We went back to my dorm and we ended up loving until late morning. I pretty much ignored her after that. I realized that all I want to do is fool around without any major attachments for now. I feel bad that she was looking for more than just a one night stand, but I probably wouldn't have dated her anyway.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was about 12 years old I watched my step-brother gently caress my step-sister once; they were demonstrating to me what sex was. My sister was going to let me gently caress her, but then my mother drove up in the driveway.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Right now I'm 19, coming off a co-op term at a good job, and about to start my third year in an engineering program at a respected university - and none of this matters. Deep down i KNOW that I'm going to die young. I'm not sure how, or why, but I'm absolutely sure that I'm going to die before I'm 30. The part that really worries me is that this gives me hope. I've had a few random medical things happen to me, and each time I thought that it was going to be some disease that was going to kill me, and whenever this happened I felt really peaceful. The only time that I wasn't stressed or worried about things. Sometimes during exams when I'd be getting really stressed, I'd just think "oh well, I'm gonna be dead before i really get to use any of this stuff", and just go back to studying. I actually think I'll be dissapointed if I get married and have kids and that kind of stuff.

ps. thanks for doing this, really cathartic, and more importantly, entertaining.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am still incredibly in love with my ex-girlfriend who broke up with me almost 2 months ago. Sometimes I feel like I don't need her or am over her and then I see her or talk to her and I realize all over again that I'm still there. I don't think she knows or cares...at this point she likes just being friends. But it really hurts me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was in high school I constantly made fun of a fat kid. I took it to
the extreme by physically attacking him while he was using the urinal after
lunch at school. About halfway through the school year this kid began
cutting himself. He blamed his pet iguana but it was quite obvious that he
did it himself because of the pattern of the cuts. When I found out he cut
himself I began to make fun of him even more. Towards the end of the school
year I went to his house at night, scratched up his fathers new car with a
rock, and smashed three of his windows with a baseball bat. It was actually
his grandparent's house he was living in at the time.

That summer, he killed himself. He stayed home 'sick frm church while the
rest of his family went and he slit his wrists and throat in the bathtub.
His suicide note named me and only me as to the reason of his suicide. I
have the note. Every night for the past eight years I've taken it out of my
wallet, read it, and cried myself to sleep.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 15 I made out with my ex girlfriend's mother. She was 39 at the time. Since then I have a thing for older women (not old old, but good-looking moms in their 30s).

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I have already had a sexual themed dream about my roommate and I. I have known him for less than a week.

Oh, and the "reply-to" function of anon-emailer is ironically funny.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I've had sex with a large number of women and I've never been tested. Whenever they ask, I say that I'm clean. I also don't wear condoms all that much.

Most of the time when I have sex with a new woman it feels like a waste of time right after I have my orgasm. Just so empty and worthless. Usually the sex sucks for me, and do I really give a drat how it was for her?

It's gotten to the point where as soon as I know I can have sex with a woman, I sort of lose interest. Sure, I'll have sex- but as far as liking her? Who cares. Can't you make me wait for it?

I still have sex with my ex every now and then, and she's the closest woman I've been to- but she's just not right for me in a relationship. I've led her on, accidentally, but I've hosed up. She still really feels for me, in a huge way that I couldn't possibly give back.

My interaction with women has gone downhill. I don't know how I managed to have sex with so many women- because I'm shy as hell until I know someone. It's getting to the point now where I'm a bit too harsh when meeting new women. I come off like the guy in Roger Dodger. I'm over-compensating for being overly shy about approaching by being a bombastic jerk. I'll reach the middle someday.

I also think I over compensate for my low-self-confidence in approaching women by thinking sleeping with them is the goal. I said I slept with a lot, and I did. It's like a small victory... yay I still think I suck at meeting women but at least I banged one! The reality is that it doesn't solve my internal issues, and the women I bang aren't even what I consider to be desirable in the long run, so what goal did I even accomplish?

The upside to all this is that I can read a woman pretty fast. I know when she's compensating, I know when she's interested, I know when she's too self-consicous and has bad self-esteem. I know what buttons to press to find out everything I need to know in just a few hours. Why is this good? I know how to find a sane woman who has self confidence and a good idea of who she is and what she wants out of life. You don't know who I am, but you'll never EVER see me post a thread about dating a crazy woman- because the warning signs are clear as day.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

"To the guy who said this, I wish I could meet someone like you. I'm
single, I'm lonely, and I just want someone to love. But my social
skills are terrible, I just can't talk to guys, so I don't see how
it'd ever happen."

I had been reading my confession over and over today beating myself up
over being such a patsy, but reading your response made me feel better
and not alone, and I thank you for that.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was little me and my cousin (female) used to fool around together. We would try to have sex but would fail miserably. I have been having fantasies about my aunt and cousin for a while now, aswell as my huge titted step-sister.

I absolutely love incest besides mother + son.

If anybody has any good stories or links to any good incest pictures/videos/stories then I'd greatly appreciate it if you could feed my strange interest.

My AIM: [Pimpsolo is editing out this, because I will not fuel your disgusting habbit.]

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am completely and totally in love with someone I met online. I am way too
terrified to actually tell him this despite my knowledge that he likes me
very much. There is a chance of me meeting him in December, but other than
that, well, our lives don't cross paths much (we live 3000 miles apart).
Sometimes I just daydream about him sitting next to me.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I grow marijuana, not for commercial purposes but for recreational
personal use. I really enjoy having more top-notch weed than I can
smoke for really cheap. I don't feel that this is a terrible thing,
however I am terrified of being caught. If I'm caught not only
would it cause me the immediate legal trouble, but it would also
completely ruin my carreer. I have a very well concealed grow space
and haven't told a single person that I grow, not even my closest
friends or girlfriends. A part of me really hates the fact that I
have to be deceitful to protect myself, but the rest of me really
loves the homegrown ganja.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I was a total lesbian when I was a little girl. When I was really
young (about 4 or so) my cousin and I used to have lesbian sex. We
stopped at 7 and she's never said anything to me about it ever. Other
than the lesbian sessions, we hated each others guts and were
constantly fighting over who Grandma loved more.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I got knocked up by this rear end in a top hat who beat me up. I left him after he
hit me the first time, but I didn't know I was pregnant then. I tried
contacting him throughout my pregnancy, but it was obvious he didn't
want to be around. I was going to go after him for child support, but
I gave up, because it was too emotionally draining. I didn't know who
the father of my child was until he was born, because I had a rebound
relationship right after the first guy. I still feel guilty for
getting pregnant with such an rear end in a top hat. I found a great guy when I was
3 months pregnant, and he's been 'daddy' ever since. I still have this
guilt that he's not the biological father. I don't know what I'll tell
my son when he's older, that the daddy he knows isn't blood related. I
don't know if I should even tell him or not.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I dated a guy for 3 years, and cheated on him the whole time. He was a
huge loser, and we fought all the time. I stayed with him because I
felt sorry for him, and he'd cry and beg me to stay. I don't feel
sorry for what I did, because I didn't really love him. He tried to
kill himself, and while he was in the emergency room, I slept with
another guy. He's dating some bimbo now, who thinks that I'm a threat
to her relationship, even though I'm 2000 miles away from them.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 8, I thought my parents were taping my every move when they
weren't home. I thought they had hidden cameras and tape recorders.
It's hosed me up to this day, and I still get a little paranoid when
I'm home alone.

I felt the same way, seriously. I love the Truman Show by the way.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I really hate my sister, but don't have the guts to tell her. She's 10
years older than me, and only cares about what people think of her,
and her possesions. I hate my mother too, because she's a workaholic,
and was never home. Now that I have kids, she only calls to ask how
they're doing, and never asks how I am.

...and the cats in the cradle with a silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon "When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when, but we'll get together then. You know we'll have a good time then."

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 8, I was in girlscouts. We'd spend the nights at each
others house, and touch each other all night long. I'm sure our
parents thought we were giggling and talking about boys, but in
reality, we were eating pussy all night. One friend of mine told me
that a homeless boy lived in a secret compartment in her closet, and
we should have sex for him. After we'd get done, we'd go over and hump
the closet wall for the entertainment of the invisible boy.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I am tired of my girlfriend being an attention whore. She has been a SA member since 2002, she has been to the last 3 gooncons and goes to some goonmeets in the NY area. We are both young, I feel like I am stuck in this relationship. Locked in with no way out. She is beautiful but there is no love here and there is no pain, everyday is exactly the same. I hope she will be able to understand why I can't be with her, she's like a child. These last couple of years have been ok but I know there is something more out there. Thanks for reading, bye.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I used to steal my parents Joy Of Sex book, and hide it in my stuffed
animals. I'd read it after bed, and think about sex. I don't think I
really realized that sex = babies. My parents would find it, and never
said anything to me. They'd hide it again, but they really sucked at
hiding things.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I love giving head, to the point where I ask my boyfriend to pretend
to come on my face and tits. I also can't come unless my nipples are
being pinched really hard. Although he satisfies me sexually, usually
I'd rather use my viberator because it gets me off quicker and harder.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I was 15, a buisness friend of my mom's seduced me. He was 29. I
didn't find him attractive or liked his personality, but I hosed him
because I was bored, and wanted to rebel against my mother. For some
reason, he would constantly accuse me of cheating on him. Then my best
friend started loving him behind my back. I went out and cheated on
him, just so I could say, why yes, I hosed someone else. I'm 21 now,
and I still feel dirty about it. Only 4 people know about it too.

My grandma died recently. I didn't feel sad at all. She had dementia,
and a colostomy bag, and stunk really bad. My mom and sister were
devistated even though they put her in a home many years ago. (My
grandma made my 5 year old mom promise to never put her in a home.)
I'm kinda sad that she had no money left, so I didn't get anything
from her will.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Sometimes I yell at my baby for little things. I'll spank him (not
hard, of course) and every time I do, I feel guilty, like I'm loving
his mind up for life.

My mother in law is very controlling and OCD, but I could never tell
her that. My family is short on money right now, and she is helping to
support us. I feel so guilty for accepting her money, because I'm
afraid she'll want something in return that we can't give her. My
husband assures me that she's not like that, but I'm not so sure.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm college-age. I met a young girl (14) though my girlfriend's sister, who is middle school/early high school age. This isn't a pedophilia confession; she just happened to be hanging around one day with my girlfriend and her sister, and some stories about me got thrown around, and she decided she wanted to meet me, so...I met her. Cute girl...lots of energy, always smiling, first thing she did when she met me was yell "I LOVE YOU!!" and jump on me with a hug. (I'd say tackle, but she's about 90 pounds soaking wet, and I'm 240...I didn't move). She begged for my MSN address, so I gave it to her, and we started talking.

Long story short, I found out that she's regularly beaten by her mother and has been her entire life, and that she was rather violently raped when she was 12 by a distant relative...who still has a habit of driving by her house and making catcalls when she's outside just to gently caress with her. Her oval office of a mother wouldn't believe it was rape and has been harassing her about having had "consensual" sex with this guy ever since. Her problems at home are bad enough that she, at 13, began sleeping with a gun under her pillow just to defend herself from her mother. She's also tried heroin to deal with it...I didn't even know it was possible to procure heroin anywhere even remotely near where I live. I also learned that a school-appointed counselor and I are the only people that she can so much as talk to about the rape...and I'm the only one she'll talk to about the abuse without serious repercussions (people not believing her [redneck town]/someone trying to report it and not getting anywhere since there's no proof/being ridiculed by her friends).

My confession is that even though there's less than a decade of age difference between us, I want more than the love of my girlfriend, more than any future I could have (I'm a musician, and a drat good one, studying for a degree in music), more than freedom or life itself, the only thing I want is to improve this girl's life. I'd do absolutely anything to get her away from that family for good, and to adopt her as my own daughter. I go to bed at night and think about the life I'd give her...I'd drop out of school, I'd be disowned by my family...I'd do anything if there was any real chance I could save this girl from the hell she's had to grow up in. I love this girl as if she were my own sister or my own daughter, more than I ever knew I could care for someone in that way, and I'd give up my own life if it would improve hers...

...but, every time I talk to her, I'm reminded that there's nothing at all I can do...I'm a 20 year old man, and she's a 14 year old girl...I can't so much as hang out with her without threat of being labeled a pedophile or being shunned by society, and I have no grounds and no evidence that I can use to intervene on her family...the only thing I can do is sit on the other end of my computer and try my best to comfort her when things happen, and I've never felt a deeper pain in my life than what I feel because that's all I can do.

Yeah, loving emo. I know.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a female goon and I have never experienced the rampant fan-
boyism that so many of the females in this thread claim to have
experienced. Deep down I'm jealous. There are some awfully cute
male goons that I certainly wouldn't mind getting attention from.
Alas, I'm never PM'd, rarely quoted, hardly paid attention to, and
it bugs the hell out of me.

Really, an SA boyfriend would be awesome. He'd understand the
stupid jokes I sometimes make. We'd definitely have the same sense

of humor. Of course, knowing the forum demographics, the only guys

who'd like me would be completely unexperienced virgins and, no
offense, but I've no interest in those.

I'm desperately craving a boyfriend/serious gently caress buddy because
there are some sexual kinks I'd like to explore that my previous
boyfriends were completely uninterested in. I'd like to get
spanked, oh so badly. Ever see Secretary? I completely
understand how she felt. I want to get hit. I want to have my
hair pulled back and just to be roughed up a little. No
humiliation, thanks. Just good natured horsing around, leading to
the hottest, roughest sex I've ever had.

Anal sex is pretty drat fun. I wasn't really into it the first few

times but the more I have it, the better it is. Unfortunately, I
don't have a regular sexual partner these days to explore that
more. I love to watch the look on guys' faces when I say I've had
anal sex ... it's like I automatically become 100 times sexier in
their eyes.

Really, I'm just lonely for male attention. Cuddling, kissing,
loving ... I'm up for whatever. I'm lots of fun, I swear.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

Well, let's see. I'll combine several confessions into one email here.

1. Yet another girl goon that bought platinum with the idea in the back of my head that I might meet a cool guy. Who knows if it will actually happen. I haven't actually got one PM yet And I'd like to think I'm a pretty cool girl.

2. I also, like the girl that posted a few posts from when I started typing this, have a huge crush on Justin_on_fire. He is amazing-- and so are his teeth. God, those teeth.

3. And finally, me and a guy that my mom used to baby sit for when I was younger (say, 6-7ish) used to go into one of the closets of my house and show each other our naughty parts. I don't think either of us had any idea what we were doing, only that we weren't supposed to be doing it because we would pull our clothes back on really quickly if we heard steps heading our direction. I have actually never told anyone this before and I wonder if he still remembers it too.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

The only serious relationship I've ever had was an e-relationship. I knew it
was stupid when I did it, but he told me he loved me, and I did too, so I
went with it. Then HE dumped ME and not only was I depressed about being
dumped, I was embarrassed, too. So now I'm utterly pissed off at him for all
eternity. I really did love him, though, and whenever I admit that, I want
to punch myself in the face.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

When I went to my girlfriend's mother's showing after
she died, all I could think about was the funeral
scene from Clerks.

'Her loving body fell out!'

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I didn't go to college after high school, and from the way things are looking, I probably won't go at all. That's not the bad part. I'm afraid that I will never have enough money to buy a house when I'm ready to buy one, so I catch myself thinking about how much money I will stand to make when my parents die. I don't want my parents to die, but when they do, I'll probaby have enough money for a house.

Also, my Dad is gay and has had a steady boyfriend for many years now. A few people know this, but I've only actually told one person. Strangely enough, nobody has ever asked me if my Dad was gay.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I cheat on my wife with my male roommate. She was not intersted in sex for a long time and I was. He lives with us because we are able to live in a nicer place with the extra money. I saw him jerking off in his room one day and it just made me super horny. Now I cant wait for the chance to go down on him or to have him in me. The worst is now my wife wants sex and I just dont want to do it with her anymore. I am now gay and will problay have to leave her.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

I'm a virgin in my early 20's, might as well start off with the weird sex stuff. Since I was about 15 I've had a huge crossdressing fetish. I look at lots of crossdressing/shemale porn and love it, but not as much as actually wearing girl clothes. The more girly and feminine the better. I'm extremely submissive and have fantasies about being tied up, dominated, spaked beaten or being tortured in general, and especially being humiliated. I find The thought of a man or woman "training" me to be an ultra-feminine sex slave incredibly arousing. I guess I'm bisexual, but I'm really only attracted to guys within the context of my crossdressing. I don't think of guys I see as "hot," I don't like gay porn at all, but I love the idea of being dressed as a girl and sucking some random stranger's cock. The farthest I've gone sexually under any circumstances was messing around with an older guy a couple times while I was dressed. I am deeply ashamed of all of this even though I know I really shouldn't be. None of my friends or family members suspect any of this and if I even tried to tell them they probably wouldn't believe it, which I will never do because I am terrified that I'll be rejected and shunned when they find out what a weirdo I am.

Despite all of that what I really want is to just meet a great girl who I can be happy with. It would be nice if she accepted my fetishes and indulged them with me, but really I just want a girlfriend. Even though I've come to accept my fetishes more and more over the years, a part of me still desperately wishes that they didn't exist and I could just be a normal person.

I'm very socially awkward, especially around girls. Half the things I say I curse myself for saying, immediately afterwards telling myself how much of a retarded fuckup I am for saying something so stupid. The prospect of talking to girls scares me badly, as I'm just sure they'll laugh at me for even thinking they'd be interested in talking to me. I do talk to girls though and nothing like that has ever happened, but I'm still sure every time I'm going to make an idiot of myself and be humiliated.

I think I'm smarter than almost everyone I come into contact with. I'm smart enough to know this isn't true but not smart enough to quit being such a dick, and I frequently get mad at myself for being such an rear end in a top hat, even though I rarely give voice to those thoughts. Though I get along quite well with my friends and I like and respect them, entirely too many people fill me with contempt, and I thrive on thinking about how much I hate them. I am always glad when some loser know-it-all in one of my classes says something stupid or when someone on the forums I hate makes a post, as they never fail to fill me with righteous life-affirming hatred. Despite the fact that I think I'm so much better than all these people, I have very little self-esteem myself.

I consider myself a very kind to person to my friends and family but I constantly resent the fact that it seems that my kindness is never repaid to me. I often feel like none of my friends appreciate what a good friend I am. Sometimes I fantasize about doing something great and finally earning the respect that I feel I deserve, or dying somehow and everyone I know in mourning over what a good person I was and how bad they feel about the way they treated me when I was alive. I've obviously thought about suicide before, but I'd never do it. I feel like my only chance for peace is to push through all the poo poo life keeps throwing at me and live on in scorn. I'm far too proud to kill myself.

I often get very paranoid about the way my friends think of me, and think of ridiculous scenarios that have no basis in reality regarding their contempt for me. Like if I call a friend of mine several times and they don't answer, I'll imagine him screening my calls and telling everyone he's with about how much of a loser I am. Fortunately I have enough sense to know this isn't true, and I'm very grateful for all the real friends I have.

For the most part my friends on the internet know more about me than most of my real life friends.

I've been in love with a good friend of mine for some time now. The hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life was telling her that I liked her, but by then I was firmly in the friends zone and I made myself look like a retard anyway. I was so embarassed I cut her reply off after it became clear she didn't feel even close to the same way. I am still good friends with her but it's hard. I'll often think I'm getting over her but then I'll be alone and think about her or something will remind me of her and I'll hurt so bad. The thing that hurts the most is how much I'm in love with her, but the fact that she probably considers me a close friend at the very most and most likely not even that. Even though I know it will never happen a part of me desperately hopes that she'll one day realize how good I've been to her and she'll at least give me a chance. Even if that doesn't happen I just wish I could at least tell her how much she means to me. For better or for worse, I love her as much as anyone I've ever met.

Thanks for making this thread, it felt good to get some of this stuff off of my chest, and more importantly I feel a lot better about my own weirdness and shortcomings after reading about all the dog fuckers, child molestors and rapists that are on the forums.

quote:

anonymous email came out of the closet to say:

You know the guy that displays no sexual interest whatsoever in anything? You've been friends with him since grade school and you think you know him. When the other boys were drooling over porn mags or checking out girls (or boys), he basically shows no interest in either gender. In health class, when everyone starts chuckling over the word "vagina," he is emotionless. Whenever a guy claims "I don't watch porn" or "I don't jerk it" you would probably call bullshit, but not him. He doesn't laugh at sexual jokes..not because of some holier than thou complex, but because you think he is naiive and genuinely doesn't get them, or the humor just can't penetrate his brain. Somehow you believe it..because it just makes sense. You refuse to think someone like him could be sexual. Well he's a loving fraud. I know this because "he" is me.

Through all of highschool and college, I have held the position of "most trusted guy" from everyone as far as attraction goes. I have expertly manipulated everyone, without bragging, into thinking I have no sexual drive whatsoever. My best friends have trusted me to stay over with their girlfriends if something comes up. I watch over female friends at bars to make sure they don't get piss drunk and taken advantage of by random guys. I am always invited to share a room when we travel. Once I asked a friend if her boyfriend minded that we went to a concert together. She told me "No, he likes you, he knows you have no interest in girls." I asked if he thought I was gay. She said "No you just don't seem to have a libido, period." She also agreed to this.

Neither men nor women are sexually paranoid around me. In high school and college, there have been numerous girls who have taken a "challenge" to finally break me and get me to loosen up. I have been flirted with, confronted with bare bodies, received blatant sexual offers. I have never lost my footing. I have the ability to suppress physical giveaways of arousal. I have fairly high alcohol tolerance, and at parties, I pretend to get drunk while still maintaining complete control over my impulses. When rejecting (playing dumb to) men and women in this pseudo-drunk state, my credibility as a nonsexual being grows. Eventually they come to believe that not a gimmick. I have eavesdropped on several conversations where people have speculated that I must suffer from a genetic defect in which I was born without reproductive organs..thus having no desire.

In secret, I am a perverted monster. I get my fix from porn. Through porn, I must have experimented with every single fetish under the sun. If it ends with -philia, I probably had a go with it at one point in time. The volume, variety, and organization of the collection I possess would probably put even the most prominent former DPPH posters to shame. I am very careful about these things, so I have taken every measure to never let my true nature show. I have yet to step into the illegal boundary..and currently I get my fix for illegal or impossible fetishes such as fantasy/alien/necro/pedo through Japanese manga. To give you an idea of collection, toddlerkon which is by far the most deviant material I have and comprises of less than 1% of my entire collection..is 25GB. Can you imagine that much drawn manga of such a rare fetish even exists? That's over 130,000+ pages. You can imagine what else I have in there.

Why do I do this? I do not know. I think I get a rush from being perceived as "the pure", "the chaste", but that is a hastily constructed explanation for the purposes of this confession. I don't really know. Truly my sexual mind wanders places much deeper than most would dare to venture, yet I am so enamored with my clean reputation. I have been acting too long. I cannot stop.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2005 20:38

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Something Awful Anonymous Confessional

«‹›3 »