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Directed by: Dave Silver Starring: Jean Melone I was in Blockbuster yesterday and as I was searching for a movie to rent, I saw Corn on the New Releases shelf. I was dazzled by the cover, which featured a group of sheep behind a barb wired fence and one of the sheep, had glowing ruby red eyes. "Killer sheep? That looks loving AWESOME! I'll rent this!" I thought to myself and so I did. As I put the DVD into the player, I was preparing myself to watch a movie about sinister sheep that feasted on the flesh and blood of humans and whose stare paralyzed their victims with fear. Afterall, I needed a good laugh and the thought of killer sheep was hilarious to me. Well, I couldn't be more wrong, and I felt like a total dumbass for being fooled by the truely awesome cover. Here's the plot. A young woman returns to her father's ranch in PA with a bun in the oven. As she is staying there, she witnesses violent behavior from the sheep. This aggressiveness is caused by a biological disaster, in which genetically modified corn produced a weed that not only caused the sheep to go crazy, but could possibly harm pregant mothers as well, causing birth defects and death when they eat the sheep contaminated by the weed. Seeing this, the woman goes on a crusade to stop supermarkets from selling the sheep, preventing the further harm of others and warning others about the dangers of genetically altered foods. This movie is incredibly slow and awkwardly paced. The point of the movie was to scare the viewers into shiting themselves with fear about genetically altered foods and the writer does a horrible job in trying to do this, since it comes off more as a satire of those whose crusade is stop the sale of such food products. Combine that with a lameass romantic side story involving the protagonist struggling with the discrimnation of being young pregant woman and her relationship with both her father and the father of the baby, and what you get is a movie that tries way too hard to both entertain and push its message to the viewers. As for the killer sheep? Well...there was a scene in which two poorly CGI sheep nibble on a child, causing him to cry for his mommy...and that's pretty much it. So much for sheep physically harming those weak humans! I was expecting the protagonist to run and trip through the cornfield, shrieking in fear as a group of drooling sheep sprint after her to tear her jugular out, but no dice. But a sheep does headbutt her though and she deserves it for being both a dunce and a whore. So, what I have learned from watching this? Never judge a DVD by its cover, because I sure was fooled. Those who are looking for a craptastic horror film along the lines of ridiculous killer animals (like Rottweiler and Frankenfish), will be instead tricked and be forced to watch a politically charged and dare I say...romantic movie, about the dangers of genetically modified foods. It's a violently retarded film and the misleading cover only made it worse. RATING: 0.5 PROS: The killer sheep on the cover. Look at their sinister red eyes! GAH! CONS: Everything else. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330175/ epyon_890 fucked around with this message at 07:17 on Sep 6, 2005 |
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Sep 6, 2005 07:14
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