Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
faarcyde
Dec 5, 2005
what the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for!?
Directed by: Shawn Levy
Starring: Steve Martin, Beyonce Knowles, Eugene Levy, Kevin Kline

When I was younger I had a collection of VHS tapes that I played with frightening regularity. Sometimes the tapes wore out from repeated viewing.

As I grew older and came across familiar childhood favorites, a certain degree of disappointment washed over me as I realized the movies I held so dear to my heart were just plain awful. Among these were “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective,” “Home Alone” and “Sgt. Bilko.” Of course, I can still appreciate the purpose they served when I was a child — simple slapstick humor that is easy to identify.

“The Pink Panther” is pretty much the text book definition of slapstick, and little restraint is given by Steve Martin and crew to make it anything but.

Jacques Clouseau [Steve Martin] — a low-level detective from a small village in France — has been enlisted by Chief Inspector Dreyfus [Kevin Kline] to take on a high profile theft of the infamous pink panther diamond. The jewel was stolen from the head coach of a national soccer team who was killed during a post-game celebration. Dreyfus does not hire Clouseau because of his street smarts or because of an accomplished resume. Rather, he wants Clouseau to function as a red herring while he investigates the actual crime and takes all the glory for himself. Clouseau has a genuine drive to solve the crime, but he is ignorant of the fact that Dreyfus is using him as a pawn. Nevertheless, he pursues the assailant and the pink panther diamond with an intense vigor that yields disastrous results.
Nearly the entire script is structured on giving Martin scenes for which he bumbles around wreaking havoc because of his clumsy and inept nature. A running gag has Clouseau trying to “secure” rooms by tearing down drapery that may be concealing spies or other undesirables. In another scene, he gets his hand stuck in a vase. Another scene has him flooding a bathroom, trying to retrieve a Viagra pill from the sink’s drain.

Yet another has him knock a huge globe off its axis that proceeds to roll out of the building and into a wave of Tour de France cyclists. This is basically the recipe for the film, and it is repeated over and over again with equally unimpressive results. Beyonce Knowles and Eugene Levy are brought in as supporting roles in hopes of distracting viewers from the embarrassing lack of depth the plot possesses — but little can be done to save the film from digging a comedy hole that eventually buries itself.

The film advertises itself as a prequel to the popular Peter Sellers original, but the whole film is basically an excuse to use the instantly identifiable theme music and have Martin speak in a caricatured French accent. Martin is a gifted physical comedian, but his goofy antics never take off and wear thin in the first 30 minutes. Luckily, the film has a brief 90-minute running time, which kept it regressing from just plain bad to excruciating. Leaving the theater crossed my mind more than once.

There were a number of children in the audience that laughed continually throughout the feature, and it reminded me of brighter days as a child when I would cry from laughing so hard every time a guy got it in the face in some sort of zany way. Now I cry, but for a completely different reason. I will cry until the day Martin makes a movie that is worth seeing twice.

RATING: 1

PROS: Nothing
CONS: Excruciatingly unfunny

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

hella cool
Nov 12, 2005

IM LIKE SEABISCUIT BABY U CAN BET ON ME
To be concise, this movie tried too hard to keep you continuously laughing.

Stick to the classic Pink Panther films for some quality, original laughs.

2/5

AmiYumi
Oct 10, 2005

I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG
Another one of those movies where I got ashamed at myself for laughing so often.

Lots of little jokes, a couple of big ones, and a few that were intended to be big but fail utterly.

Jean Reno is as good at "straight man" as ever.

3.5

pearofducks
Jan 21, 2003

quack?
Steve Martin is unfunny as he ever is. If you couldn't tell by the supporting cast that this was going to be awful, you'll probably love this movie. So all you Beyonce fans out there go get your tickets now.

D C
Jun 20, 2004

1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING
I went into this movie with low to no expectations, and enjoyed it for what it was, a decently done silly movie, and it turned out to be a good date movie, put us both into a somewhat silly mood.

For what it is, and nothing more, I give it a 3.5/5.

Cato
Sep 24, 2004

The Mad Beumber
My avatar protests this movie in the strongest possible terms...

Elf of the Millennium
Jan 23, 2006

by Ozma
I never saw the originals so I wasn't expecting much. I ended up really enjoying it. 4/5

Charity CP
Jul 2, 2005

He helped sign a peace treaty between Russia and Japan. That helps a lot!
Wow. Did I just watch a Leslie Nielson movie? Oh no, wait, that was Steve Martin raping Peter Seller's corpse.

The old Pink Panther movies were 70% plot and 30% Clouseau antics. His scenes were just spread out enough that they never got old. This movie, however, was about 95% CONSTANT slapstick "comedy" and about 5% "plot", which basically equated to talking to a few people, then having some completely ridiculous Deus Ex Machina ending that didn't even try to make sense.

Inspector Clouseau reduced to a creepy (drknockers@aol.com? What the hell?) old Leslie Nielson knock-off? Check.
Cliched silly bathroom scene? Check.
Cliched silly hospital bed scene? Check.
Fart joke? Check.
Waste of film? Check.

WayneCampbell
Oct 7, 2005
You got me a gunrack?!? I don't even own a gun, let alone alone enough to nessecitate an entire rack.

Cato posted:

My avatar protests this movie in the strongest possible terms...

And i love you for it, you little yellow swine.

Steve martin is attempting to do jokes only peter sellers could pull off, and it's horrible.

I really hope Martin, kline and ghetto booty all die in a car crash

Loveboat
Nov 15, 2005

by Lowtax
I'm not a Steve Martin fanboy, or some stupid idiot that thinks every movie is funny and/or good. However I enjoyed Pink Panther. The jokes are as obvious as they come, but for some reason I laughed at many of them.

Steve Martin does an okay job, Jean Reno is great, the rest are just... there. It's a silly movie, with a lot of obvious jokes, yet it's funny. There's just something about Clouseau. I love the old movies, and even now I find him funny. drat, he's just the greatest character ever created, I can't think he's NOT funny.

Rating: 2.5/5.

Nutbush
Dec 30, 2005
City limits ... uh-huh!
I can't understand why they made this film (except, as pants party so rightly pointed out, to rape Peter Seller's corpse).

The original movies were, for the most part, brilliant - though I hated "The Trail of The Pink Panther" since it was mostly regurgitated jokes and footage. "A Shot in The Dark" is quite possibly the best of Seller's films, and is well worth watching.

As for the new film, I've never seen Jean Reno looking so sad and disappointed. It's like he really wishes he was somewhere else.

Cyrai
Sep 12, 2004
I haven't really seen any Pink Panther movies, so I can only really review it as if it were just some random movie. In that sense, it's passable. There are a few pretty funny moments. As Loveboat says, a lot of the jokes can be obvious. It's not a very good movie, but it's not really a very bad movie. It's saving grace is that it doesn't take itself very seriously. As a stand-alone film, it's worth a rental on a quiet, sleepy day.

3/5

BillyGoats
Aug 10, 2005
Paper Eater
WORST MOVIE EVER!

The only people in the theater that were laughing where the handicapped people in front of us. I do not recommend this movie to anyone!!

.5/5

Captain_Curseword
Mar 21, 2006
You Know What You Did...
why did they have to get steve martin. you need someone serious for the role. kevin kline could have been good for the role

Vengeance
Jan 1, 2005

I'm A Good Catholic
Ok, I'm on drugs right now. Pain meds, got some surgery tomorrow so I'm pretty retarded right now but even I could see how pitiful this remake was. I never expected anything from it and just as well as I got nothing.

Jean Reno was the only decent thing in this and the poor guy had nothing to work with. Terrible from start to finish, I kept getting my hopes up when other actors would appear like Jason Statham and Clive Owen, but no the film was just merd.

I hate you Steve Martin, I really do, stop making movies, you haven't made me laugh since the Man With Two Brains.

soupb
Jul 21, 2001

by angerbot
I had rock bottom expectations, from the terrible reviews but watched this for want of something to do.

Steve martin's character was rather douchy at times but quite funny at the same time. I would say that it is an utterly retarded movie, but one that is also hilarious. Bad accents, hokey plot but a decent budget and "france".

funniest parts:
"I would like to buy a hamburger."
"You mean, you didn't just say: Stop the car, dear God, I beg of you!
jean reno and steve martin dancing in wallpaper print catsuits.

4/5 - a competent dumb movie.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

paperchaseguy
Feb 21, 2002

THEY'RE GONNA SAY NO
I used to be a big Steve Martin fan. But he's been churning out dumb, unfunny movie after dumb, unfunny movie for far too long. Since 1992, only Bowfinger and The Spanish Prisoner were any good. You're capable of so much more, Steve.

Kevin Kline and Jean Reno are wasted in this movie. The best I can say is that it has a few somewhat funny moments.

1.5/5

  • Post
  • Reply