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stiverson
Dec 14, 2004



Okay, first of all, if this is some new hot-poo poo kind of spam, let me know because apparently I've been missing out on it.

If it's not, then I've been getting some pretty strange emails.

A little backstory: I have a couple of email accounts, one primary/personal, and the other for junk (like when an address is requested by persons/companies I don't want to hear from). The name on my junk account email is "Fester Bestertester." The name is from a recurring character from Don Martin comic strips in old issues of Mad that I read when I was little. I just picked it at random when I was trying to think of a name that wasn't "stiverson2005" or something. I've never, ever gone by this name and I ONLY use this account for form-filling out, etc.

Anyways, I guess the last time I checked the Fester Bestertester account was sometime in the end of March, possibly April 1st at the latest. No messages were in my inbox.

Well, after a week or so I checked it again. Now I have more than twenty pages of messages in my inbox (and that number is increasing every day)-- and huzzah, they're all from the same address!



Now, when I first saw all the messages on page one of my inbox, I thought it was just spam. But then I looked more carefully, and I started to realize that ALL 620 messages were from the same address-- I began to read them.

I sat at my computer for more than an hour, my mouth hanging open, trying to comprehend what the gently caress I was reading.

As near as I've been able to decipher, this lady met somebody over something called RMD (which, according to google, is rec.music.dylan, a newsgroup for Bob Dylan fans) and had a chat. The person this lady was chatting with apparently told her:
1. That he was Bob Dylan (and she believed him, or wanted to)
2. That he wanted to be with her.
3. To email him at festerbestertester @hotmail.com (either he pulled the email out of his rear end not thinking/not caring if it was real, or he told her a similar email or something)

There are a few emails where she talks about herself a bit, basically it sounds like she is a -ahem- rather large person who never goes outside and has her food and cigarrettes (and weed, perhaps) brought to her by her father or something. She frequents a number of Bob Dylan forums/groups/what have you. Upon sifting through to take screenshots, I couldn't find some of the ones where she talks more about herself and I wasn't about to read every single one. So here, for your consideration, is a general idea of what all of her messages are like:



By the way, these first couple are actually the first ones I received, and I'm assuming she started writing just after her chat with "Bob Dylan."



Notice the time on this one and on the previous one. The emails come every few minutes, sometimes several in a single minute-- but they're never further than 15 mintues apart. The only time they break off is after 4 or 5 AM, and then they start again sometime the following day... which seems to indicate that the sender does stop writing long enough to go to sleep.



For instance:



and



and




























































In the time it took me to take those screenshots, I received almost 20 new emails from this person. Between now and midnight tonight, I will receive probably receive around a hundred more.

I should mention again-- I don't know this person, I've never even heard of RMD or any other Bob Dylan fansites/groups/forums. I guess it's a coincidence that she somehow came upon my email. It's not a big deal-- like I said, the account's for junk, and I don't need it.

I haven't replied to any of these messages. Should I? What should I do? Part of me wants to write her a serious little note, like "Hey, um, what's the deal?" Part of me wants to mess with her, write her a note that says "Dear Rachel, Poo Poo Pee Pee. -Bob Dylan" but I dunno, maybe she's leading a sad enough existence as it is.

stiverson fucked around with this message at Apr 12, 2006 around 00:46

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Sentient Smiley
Feb 13, 2006


Burn, bury or sell everything you own, clear out your house, move very far away.

Clear out your house extremely carefully, because even the slightest scrap of dust could contain DNA this person could use to build a new version of you to do what they will with.


E: On second thoughts, she probably won't really know how to clone you. My mistake.
\/\/\/ Ask her if she still wants to "deal"

Sentient Smiley fucked around with this message at Apr 11, 2006 around 20:09

Fruit Smoothies
Mar 28, 2004

The bat with a ZING

Reply saying your real name is Noel Edmands.

KlausOnFire
Sep 11, 2004

I'm sick of being on "B" squad.

I suspect this is real and you must assume a new identity.

Might I suggest, Bill Kellivan?

Quirk
Oct 11, 2004

You might surprise yourself.


Holy loving crazy Batman

Hungryjack
May 9, 2003



Dear Batshit lady:

This is actually Roy Orbison's old email address. My email address is changing to <insert clever address here> You may reach me at this address starting immediately. I am giving this address away to Tom Petty.

Thanks for the love,
Bob

stangman
Mar 13, 2003



Just send this..

Hi.

-Bob

KarmaEnforcer
Aug 7, 2000

Cylon Sympathizer

Woah, man. That's seriously unfortunate. I'd reply to her and shatter her dreams, if I were you. But then, I'm a vicious bastard.

DrEvil
Jun 14, 2003
Evil Mastermind, Phd.

Email her back and tell her you're really Eric Clapton.

edit: or, reply asking for naked pictures, and if she's hot, post a link.

HallsK
Mar 22, 2005



You need to find some sort of system that will automatically dump all of these emails onto a publicly viewable page and keep it going for as long as possible.

Lainlike
May 11, 2005
yay


I was going to call gimmick on the lady who sent these emails as a prank to get you freaked out, but then you said she's sending you thousands of emails every hour. There's a limit to how much someone can keep up a gimmick like that.

ColonelCurmudgeon
May 2, 2005

Shall I give thee the groat now?

Zingbats posted:

Reply saying your real name is Noel Edmands.

Or Robert Zimmerman

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004
Viva la Malarky




I want to know how long it was in between these emails:







And this one:



Mere minutes, or did she actually sleep and cool off?

Midget Porn!
Jun 9, 2005

Hello, Pumpkintits!

Gee, Fester, looks like you and Rachel could have a happy life practicing Kabbalah and stalking people.

Pawn 17
Dec 17, 2000

expect attention, newbie


Dear Crazy Lady,

If you can write me 1,000 emails within the next 24 hours I will send a plane to fetch you and bring you to my place for a night you will never forget.

Love, Bob

The Swinemaster
Dec 28, 2005



This is creepy, the kind of thing that leads to stalkers. You should alert the Bob Dylan Security Task Force.

Doctor Mooglies
Oct 22, 2005

by Lowtax


Oh. My. God.

I really hate this bitch.

Idimmu
Feb 22, 2003



So Bob Dylan is a goon?

DONT CARE BUTTON
Jul 5, 2004



This person is insane in every meaning of the word. I would write back and mess with her, even though insane people scare the living daylights out of me. I have been attacked twice by insane people, they are very dangerous.

Does anyone else think it seems like someone is writing to her during these emails but using his email as a fake? Although its probably just voices in her head.

jazzmegood
Aug 13, 2005

POPCORN GUN MAN
Some wonders lurk in this stuff.
EAT POPCORN! EVERYBODY!!

Sounds like this girl needs to head up to Bear Mountain for a picnic.

Adventure Pigeon
Nov 8, 2005

I am a master storyteller.

I think if I ever came across something like this, I would promptly delete the e-mail account, set fire to my computer, toss it out the window, then sit for a while, contemplating what the hell just happened.

Or, if you really want to be mean, say you're Bob Dylan and you want to meet her at your next concert. Tell her to come backstage and if anyone gives her trouble, to just overpower them since they're part of a conspiracy to keep you apart. The image of an obsessed hambeast plowing through security, screaming at a scrawny terrified Bob Dylan that she's going to rock his body is too great a chance to pass up, as unlikely as it may be.

pr0k
Jan 16, 2001

"Well if it's gonna be
that kind of party..."

She's obviously batshit crazy, so have fun with it. I don't think you can cause much damage. If she's scheduled to start executing strangers in the next few weeks, I doubt whether or not you send some funny replies to her email will have much to do with it.

Poppleganger
Jul 29, 2004
AR$E

I wonder what she's replying to? Maybe someone set his reply-to address to yours. Or maybe she's replying to interviews she reads. Or maybe she's replying to her own imagination.

HallsK posted:

You need to find some sort of system that will automatically dump all of these emails onto a publicly viewable page and keep it going for as long as possible.

Yes.

Strootle
Jun 8, 2004

Well all reet, well all root, well all right

Can you go on that rmd and find out more, like see what they have to say about her? This is fascinating to me for some reason.

I'd go look for myself, but I don't like Bob Dylan (ever since I found out he was sleeping around on me, anyway).

Poppleganger posted:

I wonder what she's replying to? Maybe someone set his reply-to address to yours. Or maybe she's replying to interviews she reads. Or maybe she's replying to her own imagination.

I was wondering this too.

antihero
Oct 11, 2004



Dear Rachel,

whut.

propaganda
May 8, 2003



Try Googling her name once. She is some sort of internet superstar. There is some even crazier content out there.

Groupes Google : rec.music.dylanYou've always BEEN an rear end in a top hat, Bob Dylan, and you always will BE an rear end in a top hat.
Your Loving stinkyhole, Rachel Ben-Levi par Rachel - 30 mar - 2 nouveau(x) message(s) ...

This is either a amazing prank, or a very disturbed person.

http://groups.google.ci/group/rec.m...a2fbf7c749391ed

propaganda fucked around with this message at Apr 11, 2006 around 20:24

Flowers For Algeria
Dec 3, 2005

Ti, to. Ti, ovo.

Ask her for pics.
Post them on the Internet.
We'll have fun mocking her physical features.


EDIT : Oh yes, "what" would be such a good answer.

Puck42
Oct 7, 2005



I was just checking out rec.music.dylan on Google Groups ( http://groups.google.com/group/rec.music.dylan ),

Crazy Women posted:


From: Rachel - view profile
Date: Tues, Apr 11 2006 9:10 am

DEAR FESTER,

I WANT YOUR SHLONG.

LOVE,
RACHEL BEN-LEVI


From: Rachel - view profile
Date: Tues, Apr 11 2006 9:29 am
Email: "Rachel" <goldarac...@gmail.com>

DEAR FESTER,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING DURING YOUR BREAK IN MAY AND JUNE? WILL YOU PRETTY
PLEASE COME OVER AND VISIT ME?

LOVE,
RACHEL BEN-LEVI

Reply

edit: Beaten

blackflare
Dec 6, 2004

I am a Purrrfect Princess


Poppleganger posted:

I wonder what she's replying to? Maybe someone set his reply-to address to yours. Or maybe she's replying to interviews she reads. Or maybe she's replying to her own imagination.



Considering she is sending out emails minute by minute 24/7 Im willing to bet shes just responding to her own imagination, and is extremely insane.

Otik
Apr 5, 2005

Psycho log baby

Hang on - isn't Bob Dylan dead?

MoroniK
Feb 24, 2006


Adventure Pigeon posted:



I like the way you think. Seriously though, close the email account immediately.

John Kruk
Aug 7, 2004



http://www.newsfeeds.com/archive/re...n/msg14182.html

More of her isanity.

Strootle
Jun 8, 2004

Well all reet, well all root, well all right

demonachizer posted:

http://www.newsfeeds.com/archive/re...n/msg14182.html

More of her isanity.

Those ones do sort of sound like she's loving around trying to be funny, but like someone else said, I don't believe anyone would be dedicated enough to a joke to send that many emails out.

DONT CARE BUTTON
Jul 5, 2004



Here is a gem from RDC:

quote:


From: Rachel - view profile
Date: Mon, Apr 10 2006 11:41 pm
Email: "Rachel" <goldarac...@gmail.com>
Groups: rec.music.dylan


RACHEL BEN-LEVI wrote:
> I SWEAR TO G-D, BOB DYLAN FANTASIZES ABOUT MY DIARHHEA.


One person rated all my posts in this thread as excellent. I then wrote
to fester about my feelings on the matter.
Now someone has rated some of them as POOR, and thus changed the
ratings on those posts to 3 stars, average, i believe.
But not on this one.
I don't understand.
Why didn't this person say this was a poor post also.
I'm thinking that this person is a SICK MOFO who WANTS me to have
diarhhea.
I'm hoping this isn't true, but I honestly don't know.

Reply


From: Rachel - view profile
Date: Mon, Apr 10 2006 11:44 pm
Email: "Rachel" <goldarac...@gmail.com>
Groups: rec.music.dylan


i know all about diarrhea, just not how to spell it.

p.s. i no longer have diarrhea.


http://groups.google.sc/group/rec.m...19935e35d737465

trenchfoot fetish
Jun 22, 2004


crazy rachel posted:

I SWEAR TO G-D IT'S TRUE, BOB DYLAN LIVED IN A BASEMENT FOR TEN YEARS EATING HIS OWN poo poo.

I would say she has something of a problem.

Women's Rights?
Nov 16, 2005

Ain't give a damn


Dear sweet jesus...I would never log on to that name again and make sure to change every scrap of personal information from that name asap so that this woman wouldn't be able to hunt me down and kill me as I slept.

Puck42
Oct 7, 2005



This explains a lot

Rachel posted:

I'm going to the phsyciatrist today to get back on my psych meds, all
for manic-depression, which was probably caused by my drug use and
bulimia.

http://groups.google.com/group/rec....13aaf5b21fbc162

ToiletDuk
Sep 4, 2002

That's right, fat stuff.
Shake those chins!

This woman is clearly suffering from some serious mental disorders, as evidenced by her complete and utter obsession with sending these emails, often detailing minute-by-minute mood swings and apparently imagining responses in order to continue the conversation.

Toying with her is only going to make her more unstable, so if you actually care about messing with an already teetering human being I would suggest against playing around and say that the best course of action would be to reply with the truth. Tell her that this e-mail address is not owned by the guy who first contacted her via RMD, that you are not Bob Dylan, and that it is likely he is not either. Ask her politely to stop emailing you and hope she actually does.

The other option, if you don't care about messing with a completely mentally unstable woman, is to respond to her and carry on the charade as much as possible.

Of course the third option is to ignore it until she stops sending emails, then collect them all and publish a book of her rantings and become a best-seller

Rounin
Sep 21, 2003
No time to read, now that I've finished shitting out my retarded opinions, I gotta go ~*~clubbin~*~ l8r bois

I would at least consider contacting a shrink of some sort... "you're my last hope"? She looks like she could use some help...

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Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

Jinkies!




This wouldn't make me nervous at all to get in the mail.

EDIT: I no longer have diarrhea.

Madcosby fucked around with this message at Apr 11, 2006 around 20:27

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