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Directed by: Gregory Dark Starring: Kane, Samantha Noble, Rachael Taylor So with the showing of DaVinci Code we intended to see sold out, we bought our tickets for the next showing and had some time to kill, we decided to pull a Peabody and sneak into the screening of See No Evil to pass the time. Never could I have imagined I would be walking into perhaps the greatest piece of cinema mankind has ever known. Films like these seem sent from the heavens. It took truly a magical sequence of events for this film to happen. First you need an eccentric businessman who built an empire in one field and considers himself a genius even though most of his other business ventures failed miserably. That man was Vincent K. McMahon, owener of World Wrestling Entertainment. Seeing as how his wrestling empire is the only major wrestling company in the US today Vince decided to start his own movie company, WWE films. Their first project was to be See No Evil, a film that would redefine the horror genre as we know it. Since it was to be such a groundbreaking film, Vince needed a screenwriter who wasn't afraid to challenge the norms, and he got that in Dan Madigan, who's prior writing credits were writing for WWE wrestling programming. Off to a good start. Secondly he needed to cast his villian. Well he could skip central casting, because what better place to recruit from than the WWE itself? Instead of perhaps a performer who actually talks, he pegged Kane, a 6'11 monster who has said maybe a grand total of 50 words in 8 years in the WWE. With his monster cast he needed a director, and for that he brought in the acclaimed director Gregory Dark who has directed such classics as New Wave Hookers 2&3, Between the Cheeks 2&3 and Hootermania. The film centers around a group of dilenquent late teens who are all in the joint for minor crimes. To get time off their sentences they agree to go help clean up a rundown old hotel that some rich dude owned and died in some years before. They group is watched by Officer Something or Another, a former street cop who once had a run in with our nameless villian and lost his arm as a result. Unlucky for these kids and their corrections officer, the nameless bad guy has taken residence in the hotel and doesn't like his space invaded, so he starts hacking them down one by one. The cast is astounding, they somehow manage to make a guy who doesn't say anything in the movie the best actor in the film. It has you typical cast of misfits. The two hot chicks, the one nice, but secretly horny chick, the ethnic lesbian chick who caught a raw deal in life, the hardass jerkoff, the suave mexican guy, and the two dorky guys, one white and one african american. They don't give a poo poo about authority and are just interested in scamming, drugging, and loving. the hardass and the hot brunette have a past of some sort leading to the classic banter between them after he walks in on her while she's taking a shower: Brunette: you jerk! Hard rear end: I thought you'd be used to me entering from the back door! As I said our villian starts taking them down one by one and then ripping out their eyes. He uses a variety of axes and sharp things to take them down, disposes of the hot blonde in a rather ingenious fashion which I think was aimed at annoying people in movie audiences and then of course kills some people when they are about to get it on ( a MUST for any horror movie) It turns out his mom was an uber religious woman who kept him in a cage and gave him porno mags and then beat his rear end and told him he was going to hell. Don't we all have mommy issues. You think this is going to lead to a showdown between the bad guy and the cop who lost his arm, but you'd be wrong. In the middle of the movie, rather anticlimactically our bad guy rips up the cop without much suspense or drama. So basically they gave us a 15 minute intro to the movie setting up a character and then kill him off without a fight in the middle of the film. I'm not sure how it ends because I left to go see the DaVinci Code, but I'm told it ends with a dog pissing in the bad guy's eye socket. All in all this is a must see film for any movie fans and highly reccomend it. 5.5/5 RATING: 5.5 PROS: The script, the acting, The cinematography CONS: not any that I can find ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://imdb.com/title/tt0437179/
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May 20, 2006 19:22
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 02:47 |
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Just saw this tonight with three of my friends. loving awesome. This wasn't a great film by any means, but it was still drat enjoyable. This is a hard R rating, for sure. Blood everywhere, eyes being plucked out on screen, all kinds of crazy poo poo. If you're a gore-hound, go see this movie. This movie is home to some of the greatest deaths ever. We have axes chopping through people, eyeballs plucked out of every victim, impalings, stabbings, droppings, even one hell of a new way to use a cell phone. Oh, and I loved the scene with the dog. But that's not enough detail to give anything away. The best death in the entire movie is by far the last one. Hell, not just in the movie, but it is quite possibly the greatest death ever put on screen. Jacob Goodnight (Kane) is thought to have fallen out of the top story window, but he's really hanging onto the windowsill. He grabs one of the girl's hands while another girl bludgeons him with an iron pipe. She finally manages the stab it into his left eye and he lets go. What follows is sheer genius - Kane plummets all the way down the side of the building, pipe still sticking out of his eye socket. The pipe catches on every windowsill on the way down, knocking his head back with every one. He then crashes into the glass of the atrium, but the pipe gets caught on one of the metal crossbeams, turning his falling body into a massive pendulum. Once his body goes from being horizontal to the ground to being vertical, his body slides off of the pipe and he falls to the floor. There is a quick zoom into his chest as you see his ribs crack and impale his heart. Greatest. Death. EVER! There's my review. The acting was loving horrible, but the deaths and the gore alone are worth the price of admission. Fun times. 5.5/5 for horror. A definite step in the right direction. gently caress all that PG-13 bullshit.
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May 21, 2006 07:21
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I really enyjoyed this one, great, entertaining slasher movie, much better then the last piece of poo poo I suffered though (Stay Alive). The death scenes where pretty decent, Kane made a sweet villian. The victims themselves where pretty much 2-D but I liked the female lead. I give it a 4/5. Really doesn't have much plot.
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May 22, 2006 14:14
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I was expecting total poo poo. While I definitely didn't find a masterpiece, I found a movie that is actually pretty good for a horror movie. Lots of gore and silly violence and it didn't take itself too serious. It's not going to win an Oscar by any means, but if you want to see a movie that is basically the opposite of the DaVinci Code, this is pretty much it. 3.5
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May 25, 2006 01:45
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