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pukeduke
Nov 20, 2003

ˇGOOOOOOALLLLLLL!

FYI,

I had to come into the office today in order to finish up some work( ). Soon after I stepped outside on the way to a delicious lunch, something fell from a tree next to me.

For better or worse, I have a habit of kicking things that are falling near me...I guess I played too much hackey sack when I was younger. Usually it happens if people drop something by mistake...they're often quite impressed when I can stop something from hitting the floor and kick it back up to them.

Anyways,when this falling thing was about 8" off the ground I nailed it with a left footer right on my laces. It landed about 25 feet from me. I realized what I had done when I heard this blood curtling "SCWEEP"...I guess that is the sound squirrels make when they are being punted. I walked over to it but it was only twitching on the ground.


I don't know what to do about it.

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Maelstrm
Jun 21, 2004
Triskaidekaphobic

Have you had lunch yet? If not, save yourself some money and get your frying pan out.

Beary Mancrush
Jun 9, 2002


Boring damned people. All over the earth. Propagating more boring damned people. What a horror show. The earth swarmed with them.

You're marked for life. Hope you like being pelted with acorns from 20 yards.

Vlex
Aug 4, 2006
I'd rather be a climbing ape than a falling angel.

You are now its master. Get out your pokeball.

HIERARCHY OF WEEDZ
Aug 1, 2005



Oh god
I shouldn't have laughed so loving hard at the thread title.

KissTheBlade
Oct 16, 2006

by Fistgrrl


Theyr'e fucken vermin anyway; do'nt sweat it. Nobody would think twice if you punted some rat.

FMERCURY
Feb 17, 2005


finish him

Zucot
Jun 2, 2004

I am defined as a generous man who is certainly underappriciated

Look at it this way - you may have just saved a tiny little fella from trying to leap to his death.

I believe that this means the squirrel is now forever in debt to you, and must now become your lovable but silent sidekick.

Buzkashi
Feb 4, 2003


Zucot posted:

Look at it this way - you may have just saved a tiny little fella from trying to leap to his death.

I believe that this means the squirrel is now forever in debt to you, and must now become your lovable but silent sidekick.

The lifedebt of the squirrel is not unlike the lifedebt of the Wookiee. Squirrels are not nearly as helpful to have around, though.

BeanBandit
Mar 15, 2001


You should put it in a shoebox with a towel and take it to a wildlife rehabilitation center.

Jerk.

iKickDogs
Aug 31, 2001



pukeduke posted:

I don't know what to do about it.
New Username

Chris Awful
Oct 2, 2005

Tell your friends they don't have to be scared or hungry anymore comrades.


Shame that rodent-slaughter isn't a crime, as is manslaughter.

Dirtbagdeluxe
Sep 30, 2006


we need more fellas like you in the military son.

freezingprocess
Mar 25, 2005



FMERCURY posted:

finish him

Animality!


Anyway, I think everything is going to be alright. I wouldn't sweat it.

Tristesse
Feb 23, 2006

Chasing the dream.


10 points!

Chop Licker
Apr 25, 2005

by mons al-madeen


iKickDogs posted:

New Username

You're one to talk.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Armitage_Shanks
May 16, 2004

Fear the aVICtar.

It was probably sick already if it fell from the tree.

pukeduke
Nov 20, 2003

ˇGOOOOOOALLLLLLL!

BeanBandit posted:

You should put it in a shoebox with a towel and take it to a wildlife rehabilitation center.

Jerk.

Would they make me pay for the bills? I just went out and checked again and it's not moving much at all any more.

I didn't mean to do it

avi
Sep 13, 2003

Sonrie perra.

Well don't feel bad about it I guess that squirrel was already falling down to it's death anyways.

Petekill
May 14, 2005

Where's Hammond?
Well I'll call him!


Next you'll have to make one of these: http://yourdailymedia.com/media/1138634009

Because once you start flying squirrels, you can't stop.

cerberous
Jul 25, 2006

Dingalingaling you pretty thing

You're going to die.

You can jump on it's head, but that'll merely delay the pain a few more days while the family figure out what happened and avenge him themselves.
They don’t stop.

magicfrog
Feb 27, 2006

Bufo alvarius


goddamn tree-rats.

avi
Sep 13, 2003

Sonrie perra.

iKickDogs posted:

New Username


Yes great idea he can be iKicksquirrels

BeanBandit
Mar 15, 2001


pukeduke posted:

Would they make me pay for the bills? I just went out and checked again and it's not moving much at all any more.

I didn't mean to do it
I'm pretty sure you can just drop off the animal, and they'll do what they can.

Mashi
Aug 15, 2005

Just wanted you to know your dinner's cold and the children all agree you're a shitheel!

Don't feel bad, punting a squirrel is a once in a lifetime opportunity! Well done!

krut
Jun 5, 2005

ask me about oranges


Buzkashi posted:

The lifedebt of the squirrel is not unlike the lifedebt of the Wookiee. Squirrels are not nearly as helpful to have around, though.

Hopefully the squirrel will be less of an rear end in a top hat about it though. Zaalbar was such a dick.

Swanson Broth
Apr 8, 2004



You've changed. What happened to the man I loved? Did you kick that poor frog's arm off, too?

Elftor
Jan 10, 2003


Custom dictates that you must marry its wife and raise its children now.

Westnilemangos
Oct 13, 2006
Can I panic now? How 'bout now?

It was obviously self defense. He was leaping to attack you and just misjudged the distance. You were just protecting yourself.

wikipedophile
Oct 22, 2004
Buff DK plz kthxbye

Props for awesome reflexes.

Flynn Taggart
Jan 20, 2006



I knew a guy who's cat attacked a squirrel and he shooed the cat off and nursed the squirrel back to health. It was like a pet after that, it jumped up on his shoulder and stuff. It was so cute.

uggy
Aug 6, 2006

You must leave the World Series at Game 6. For that is when the spell ends and your coach becomes a pumpkin.


pukeduke uses punt. Critical hit!

pukeduke
Nov 20, 2003

ˇGOOOOOOALLLLLLL!

Elftor posted:

Custom dictates that you must marry its wife and raise its children now.

He was comin right for me.


I'm going to go steal a shovel from the construction yard next store and give him a proper burial.


Be back in 10

Ireland Sucks
May 16, 2004



Squirrels are as fair a target as rats. My grandad keeps going on about getting an air rifle because some bastard squirrel keeps plundering his walnut tree

The Royal Nonesuch
Nov 1, 2005

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life stand explained


Welcome to the club. I once punted an obnoxious groundsquirrel by luring his fat rear end in with food, then swiftly kicking. I didn't get as much distance as you though and he was very mad but fine.

uggy
Aug 6, 2006

You must leave the World Series at Game 6. For that is when the spell ends and your coach becomes a pumpkin.


The Royal Nonesuch posted:

Welcome to the club. I once punted an obnoxious groundsquirrel by luring his fat rear end in with food, then swiftly kicking. I didn't get as much distance as you though and he was very mad but fine.

That is so amazing. At my school, there are so many squirrels. I really want to catch one, but alas, I cannot. Nice job on your part.

pukeduke
Nov 20, 2003

ˇGOOOOOOALLLLLLL!

I stole a shovel, but when I got back, the squirrel was gone...maybe a hawk took it?


Now I have a shovel and I don't know what to do with it.

This sounds like an RPG.

tractorcrusher
Sep 29, 2003

Huh huh huh huh huh! And you just said Hi! Hi! Hi! Heh heh heh! You sounded like ahh ha ha my niece! And she's six months old ha ha ha!

I also try and stall anything on my foot that drops, thanks to many years of hacky sack... I have a few people's phones this way and also a watch.

Hacky Sack is

Poppleganger
Jul 29, 2004
AR$E

The Royal Nonesuch posted:

Welcome to the club. I once punted an obnoxious groundsquirrel by luring his fat rear end in with food, then swiftly kicking. I didn't get as much distance as you though and he was very mad but fine.

why would you do this.

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Sgs-Cruz
Apr 19, 2003

You just got BURNED!

That was fast on the name change!

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