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Mayor Wilkins posted:I want to buy you a beer. and a pack of smokes. Thank you for the story Humper-Monkey though it's pretty tragic. I'm sorry you and your family went through this but frankly I see all the love and compassion you put into this. Guess I'm one of those disciplinarian jerks. Thanks again for the stories.
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Dec 1, 2006 07:38
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Thank you for sharing that story, man. I think you did everything you could've to help him turn out right - but sometimes you can't do everything. You're a Hell of a parent, and people who try and get on you for being a disciplinarian shouldn't bother you. It obviously worked out well for you, and of course your daughters turned out awesome so they don't have a right to say a thing. My hat's off to you H-M for being BADASS.
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Dec 1, 2006 07:39
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This is one of the top five threads I've ever read in SA since the days I've lurked here. A lot of what your son went through is what I'm worried my brother will end up doing. He doesn't do drugs or anything crazy, but he's unmotivated, angry at the world, anti-social and thinks money is just going to fall on his lap. I know my parents will just dump him on me once I make enough cash to move out. 5'd and good luck.
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Dec 1, 2006 07:39
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Jeez HM- I could have never tolerated what you did. Granted I'm only 25, so I still have a lot of living to do, but... The patience, the hope, the effort you put into that boy- I can't imagine the toll it took on your psyche. I wish you and your family the best in living the most normal life you can after that train wreck. As for the hindsight, and the martyr complex- no one is to blame for his crap except for him. There was no failing on your part. I've seen a lot of addiction, some in family, some in friends, and I work in a pharmacy that dispenses tons of narcotics for crying out loud. Addiction is horrifying, and people who are addicted, although they deserve some degree of understanding- remain addicted because they want to. No one can make someone clean up- if a person wants to clean up, they won't do it for their friends, their family, their reincarneted soulmate from anime shows (god forbid). They have to choose it, and the kid chose wrongly. I hope that you will have less trouble from him in the future. Give your daughters a hug for all of us here.
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Dec 1, 2006 07:45
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I don't usually post here, but i feel compelled to repeat for the thousandth time - epic
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Dec 1, 2006 07:48
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Humper-Monkey, I don't know what to say other than that you are a much better man than I could ever hope to be. After having read the story about your blind study partner, and now this one, my hat is off to you. You're a good man and did what you could for the boy. Nobody could ask for more than that. Here are a couple links where you can get replacement medals for you, your wife, and your father: Medals of America I've done business with them for years with all the militaria collecting I do. You can get every US medal (except the CMH) from them. They even do custom displays and framing and such. MilitaryReport.com This site has the Standard Form 180 and the addresses where you can mail it to acquire replacement medals and decorations. I know it's not the same as having the originals, but having replacements beats not having them. I know, I've bought replacements for four members of my family and felt much better after getting them. Hope these links are of some help 
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Dec 1, 2006 07:55
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Man... After such an epic tale, I cannot imagine you in a fight with someone you really, truly hated. The image of goatse comes to mind, but your hands just keep pulling, turning him inside out before burning him and pissing it out. gently caress knives, I can just imagine your fists.... breaking someone.
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Dec 1, 2006 07:55
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What a masterful story. How loving perfect. I must say that I finished the last post exactly, TO THE SECOND with the song off of the Fountain soundtrack called "Finish It" as it was playing on my iTunes. Words cannot describe how infinitely awesome that combination was. Bravo!
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Dec 1, 2006 07:55
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Humper-Monkey, you're seriously a goddamn inspiration.
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Dec 1, 2006 07:58
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Thanks for the great read. I'd also buy you a beer if the opportunity came up.
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Dec 1, 2006 08:02
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I can never see myself having the patience or courage to sort someone such as him out. Thank you for the thread.
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Dec 1, 2006 08:06
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Kumo posted:
I have the same question. Great read.
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Dec 1, 2006 08:14
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I'm not too sure what to say, but this is a hell of a story. Thanks for telling it. The whole thing sounds like it was hard earned.
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Dec 1, 2006 08:26
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Dear lord. This story is truly epic and deserves an immediate goldmine. (Vegetable  )
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Dec 1, 2006 08:26
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Parents comes from military families (Navy and Navy Seals) so when I hosed up, I got a ruler, belt, slap in the face; when it wasn't as bad soap in the mouth. Monkey, I would buy you rounds for quite some time for that story; especially how hard you tried with him. And well, the kind of man you are.
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Dec 1, 2006 08:26
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This thread and all of the rest that you make inspire me Humper-Monkey. The world seems to sort of make sense until you run into stories like yours. They may not have happy endings, but they sure as hell tell you a lot about people in the world. I feel honored to read about your life and those in it. There are good stories and there are bad oones, but each one speaks volumes about both you and how the rest of the world works. You continue to amaze me. Pain like you have known is an amazing thing, and you prove yourself with all that you have dealt with. I know you are not the only one, but you open my eyes with every thread you post. The stories are inspiring. You may not have the most orthodox methods, and you may not take the advice given to you, but you certainly have the right things in mind. you try your damnest annd you keep at it. you put yourself on the line for a person who was warped and changed from what should have been your son. You have my respect.
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Dec 1, 2006 08:33
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Thanks a lot, Humper-Monkey. Usually when I read stories on the forum, I worry about whether they're true or not, and feel like I won't enjoy them as much if I find they're just stories. But from the first installment, I knew that this story was good enough for me not to feel  if it turned out to be "LOL PRANKD." Having read the whole thing, I see nothing that would make me think it was a lie. You are a better human being than many could ever hope to be. Thanks for trying your best.
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Dec 1, 2006 08:40
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Great loving story. Thanks for writing it. Maybe you haven't lost him yet though, maybe he can still turn around. Also, that Kevin Smith story is an awesome read too.
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Dec 1, 2006 08:41
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I think you did everything in your power to make it work, it seemed to work, but somehow this gently caress wit became a good bullshitter. No offense, I've known some great bullshitters and I've pulled a few off in my time, but you did what you had to. On a different somber note, I say you should throw up some more stories of Matt and you, I read the thread for the first time, and today at work while I was bored and I was still laughing my balls off. And if you wouldn't mind, I'm sure your wife has a story or two to tell. or about your brothers and all of your learning experiences with your father. I love to hear this stuff. I came from a trustworthy family (till i got to know them better) and I only got my rear end beat when I really hosed up. and then it got to the point where I'd gently caress up and they'd shrug it off thinking, "well poo poo, we disciplined him and he didn't learn, gently caress it. That hurt me worse than the beating. Anyways, please tell more stories.
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Dec 1, 2006 08:53
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Thank you so much for posting this. The word that comes to mind is epic..
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Dec 1, 2006 08:53
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Madidus posted:I think you did everything in your power to make it work Agreed. I think this is the most important lesson that Monkey can take out of the story. He might be the "alpha male" in his family, but there are still some things that are beyond his power to achieve or to change. That doesn't mean they're impossible; it just means that he himself doesn't have the power to change them. It's a humbling kind of realisation. (and as his daughters grow older, there'll be things within his power but outside his right to change).
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Dec 1, 2006 09:00
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Sergg posted:Reading comprehension motherfucker, do you have it?!?!  You know what, you are right. I misread your post, sorry. Truce?But hey, your reaction was pretty funny. Like you were talking yourself down.
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Dec 1, 2006 09:06
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Just read the whole story.... And I must say.... WOW!!!! That's crazy. It sounds scary too. The Boy can actually pull a gun on you and your family now. He's lost it. How do you deal with that? I mean, he might show up anywhere! This is like a movie! Only real! One thing though, when do we get to see some pictures? Without pictures, all of this won't feel right. =)
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Dec 1, 2006 09:09
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Monkey: I honestly think you could use some therapy yourself. This might sound like I'm rallying against you, but it's not. As much of a psycho shithead as the kid is (and his mother along with him), from a combination of your often violent reactions to the situation and the apparent emotional damage he inflicted on you personally, I think you might have some heavy issues to work out too. Let the kid dig his own grave for awhile and worry about yourself for a change, because it seems to me like the last person you're trying to take care of is yourself.
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Dec 1, 2006 09:10
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adventure in the sandbox posted:Yep. I'm trying to finish a paper on schizophrenia due within the next 1.5 hours. It's not going to happen. Could you post that? I'm a vulnerable individual, since I have 4/4 of my aunts and uncles with Schizophrenia.
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Dec 1, 2006 09:12
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Wow, I felt like puking and crying when I finished reading.Bonk posted:Monkey: I honestly think you could use some therapy yourself. This might sound like I'm rallying against you, but it's not. As much of a psycho shithead as the kid is (and his mother along with him), from a combination of your often violent reactions to the situation and the apparent emotional damage he inflicted on you personally, I think you might have some heavy issues to work out too. I'm pretty sure he has had therapy, hasn't he? He mentions taking meds for anger issues and whatever else.
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Dec 1, 2006 09:15
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I'm reading his Blind Study Partner thread (goldmined here). It's fuckin' hilarious and drat if it doesn't make me like you even more HM.
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Dec 1, 2006 09:23
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I just want to say that im sorry you had to make the choices you had to make, but IMHO i couldn't see any better ones. This is (to a much greater extent) similar to what my dad had to do with my brother and i hope that if i ever have to make a choice for my children i can have the guts to do some of the things you have done. they made a term for people like you. American Hero
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Dec 1, 2006 09:27
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HM, sorry to hear how things wound up, I know it's easy to start thinking about what ifs, how you might've done this then differently or that then but I guarantee there wasn't a thing you could've done. I've had a floormate in my dorms who was a great guy when I got to know him, we hung out and he was a great chess player. He had told me of previous pschizophrenic episodes he had, though I thought little of it. He was also pretty heavy into Catholicism. Second semester he begins to act differently. He begins to get into these strange looping conversations where he would ask you something, you would say explain it and he would continue to ask questions, asking to define words you've said. He was into ancient Rome and it was about the time Rome Total War came about so we had this whole Rome fetish going on. I bought him a dagger off ebay with SPQR on it for kicks. "What do you think about X?" "X is pretty cool I guess" "What do you mean by...cool?" There was a bit of foreshadowing, he was hanging out in my room, after giving me a pocket bible and urging me to read it. I admit I was spooked while I agreed that I would. It's hard to tell if I was sincere, and to be honest I don't think I was. One floormate in particular, an Israeli-American girl passes by, and he tells her "N, you...are very beautiful" and she says thanks and kinda goes her way. A few seconds later... "Do me..." (luckily out of earshot) it almost felt like something that happened entirely in my head, I just kind of stared off in the distance. Coming from a kinda cush silicon valley home I've hardly ever dealt with drama this heavy. it all came to a head when one night when I had gone home home (San Jose, school in Berkeley) I get a call from another floormate "The cops have showed up, B's not allowed to come back." and I loving expect the worse, I imagine he must've done something with the knife and I feel bad for a second subconsciously wondering if I'm worried about covering my own rear end. I find out he tried to "baptize" a couple of other floormates with a bottle of water, one floormate in particular being the Israeli-American girl who was especially freaked by the implications of what motivated him. it kind of divided people on the floor, she was definetely adamant about him not coming back whereas some of my other roommates wanted to support him any way they could (2 of whom were also Jewish). I feel kind of like a flake from the whole thing, he was my friend but I didn't take a strong stance in either direction. I helped him move out when he found another place and saw him at a BBQ held by one of said ex-floormates. These days he's back in LA recovering, and I really should call him up
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Dec 1, 2006 10:02
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Monkey, I just wanted to say that you embody all of the rugged individualism and sheer toughness that make even really overly sympathetic like me say "I'm happy we have guys like this around to teach all the twisted fucks out there that society won't tolerate all their abuse.". At first, I felt kinda bad for the kid, not because you were doing anything wrong, but because he seemed hopelessly nerdy and pretty pathetic, and your style of parenting, while it does work on a lot of people, just wasn't a good fit for him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt with the porn, saying it might just be something he found in an alley one day and was naive enough to not realize it's incestuous. Man, how wrong I was. By the end, I couldn't even believe that people can exist in that twisted state of mind. I hope things turn out well for you and your family, and that this whole thing comes to an end for you. Good luck, man.
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Dec 1, 2006 10:04
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Over a thousand 5 votes eh?
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Dec 1, 2006 10:07
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