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Old Dun Cow
Sep 5, 2006

Hmmm. Well, I haven't been able to get in contact with Ostia. I can finish it myself with colored pencils and gumption. It won't be as good, but it must be done, I suppose.

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Stutes
Oct 13, 2005

Tonight's the Night

Old Dun Cow posted:

Hmmm. Well, I haven't been able to get in contact with Ostia. I can finish it myself with colored pencils and gumption. It won't be as good, but it must be done, I suppose.

About this there will be no supposition,
A completed tale will be your mission!

Old Dun Cow
Sep 5, 2006

Finished!

















Let me know if my miserable handwriting is too bad on any of the pages and I'll translate.

Space Gopher
Jul 31, 2006

BLITHERING IDIOT AND HARDCORE DURIAN APOLOGIST. LET ME TELL YOU WHY THIS SHIT DON'T STINK EVEN THOUGH WE ALL KNOW IT DOES BECAUSE I'M SUPER CULTURED.

Old Dun Cow posted:

Finished!

My God in heaven, that is a thing of beauty and utter, utter horror.

utonium
Dec 17, 2002
If only Boris Karloff were alive to narrate this.

Frank Frank
Jun 13, 2001

Mirrored

utonium posted:

If only Boris Karloff were alive to narrate this.

I still vote for either Orson Welles or Sam Kinnison - at any rate, from the "we need some closure" thread, I thank you from the bottom of my pubis.

(Note: pubis)

Well thanks again - perfect ending to a perfect thread.

Frank Frank fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Feb 23, 2007

Old Dun Cow
Sep 5, 2006

Giant_Pupils posted:

I still vote for either Orson Welles or Sam Kinnison - at any rate, from the "we need some closure" thread, I thank you from the bottom of my pubis.

(Note: pubis)

Sam Kinnison. :colbert:

Hot Dog Day #42
Jun 17, 2001

Egbert B. Gebstadter
this is basically the greatest thing ever and was worth the wait

Biral
Jun 9, 2006

A viral infection has hit this thread.

Old Dun Cow posted:

Finished!





That is the funniest Dr. Seuss/Steampunk rape crossover in the history of fanfic crossovers. I could not stop laughing this entire thread. Very well done, and if the Let's Read threads continue, I vote Old Dun Cow as its arbiter. Seriously funny stuff.

Old Dun Cow
Sep 5, 2006

Thanks for the good words, guys. If I ever decide to intentionally subject myself to severe psychological trauma again (probable), I will most assuredly describe my pain in excruciating detail to you folks. The vampire novel is gone, but there's a book on the shelf called Hidden Assets that has "MALE STRIPPER" proudly displayed on the cover. Classy.

Ayatollah Metroid
Aug 12, 2005

Supreme Leader of SR388
Finally, closure.

Thank you Old Dun Cow, for all your sacrifices.

Janson
Aug 26, 2006

Excellent thread - thank you for the laughs. I especially liked the last few pages of the book summed up as a e/n thread.

Following one of the wikipedia entries:

quote:

The period from 1970-1980 saw explosive growth in the sale of these books, and romance today accounts for more than 40% of all fiction commercially sold. Historical romances published by the largest presses (Avon, Warner, etc) are written to strictly enforced guidelines which shy away from the depravity found in older books. Those guidelines frequently mandate perfect fidelity between hero and heroine, no abduction, forced seduction or rape.

I suppose it shouldn't be surprising but it still is. I know that romance as a genre is very lucrative and makes a very good living, but I still think crime/horror/sci-fi/fantasy should probably make up a larger proportion given how apparently popular they are, too.

I do enjoy a suspenseful, well-written romance but not in the vein of these novels. Yes, it's not always about the sex scenes. Tension is very important.

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toby
Dec 4, 2002

Off you go, thread!