Funny Panel Thread: Reed Richards is a colossal dick.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Funny Panel Thread: Reed Richards is a colossal dick.

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Rhino Steve posted:

Not actually a panel but i came across this childrens ride at my local shopping centre.
who decided the spider-mobile needed to be remembered

I found at Walmart the other day a Spider-Man edition of the boardgame Operation. Instead of the typical Operation organs, the player is removing Spidey's "broken web-shooters", "webbed feet", "spider cents" (a coin with a spider on it), and "Mary Jane jitters" (a heart), etc. As if this ridiculously needless comicbook tie-in weren't horriffic enough, the box art is an image of Spider-Man restrained on an operating table and obviously struggling, while Doc Ock uses his tentacles to tear him apart. It's actually rather gruesome and somewhat disturbing.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2007 10:57

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 01:25

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Wendell posted:

I wonder if this is some sort of shot at Superman, too? If Jor'El were as smart as Reed Richards he would have shrunk everyone down and put them in his baby rocket!!

That brings up an interesting point: Reed Richards totally just pulled a Braniac move on those poor aliens.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2007 06:31

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Vincent posted:

Not so funny on itself, but if you watch this...

That was actually loving awesome. The art reminded me a lot of PBF in many ways.

It's also fun to watch the cartoon with a different frame of reference imposed upon it: that the kid is just imaginging all this, that Jake is just a normal dog and the ice king is just some normal old man, and the kid is slightly retarded but totally spazzing out. His dance and the way he ran with his fists in the air gave me that idea.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2007 08:37

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Awful Waffle posted:

They do Sadie Hawkins Day a little differently on Paradise Island:

Alright, the rest of that insanity aside, why do those "does" have antlers? Female deer do not have antlers, just male deer.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2007 23:04

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Horseface posted:

That's a look of sheer terror if I've ever seen one. That face actully reminds me a LOT of some other character or image, but I can't put my finger on it. Regis Philbin maybe?

It reminds me of... oh what was it? Mike.gif? The goofy looking picture of the ninja turtle face. It used to pop up in GBS and FYAD kind of frequently, but ~~I haven't seen it in forever~~. Edit: There goes a perfect record. Thanks, Unkempt. :mad:

McGravin fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Jan 18, 2007

# ¿ Jan 18, 2007 20:15

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

zero democracy posted:

Christ do I hate Howard Chaykin's art.

Heh, I was thinking of making a Chaykin comment, but I wasn't sure it was him and I didn't feel like looking it up.

These panels could be copied (sans dialogue and skin color, obviously) directly from his lovely Guy Gardner special. That short haired chick stood in for both of the female aliens in that book, since they looked identical, and that pose happened at least twice in the first book. Same with the weird grin and crazy eyebrows panel being Guy Gardner. Maybe he changed the nose slightly.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2007 21:11

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Sigma posted:

Hawkgirl needs to find a better tailor:

I don't think it's possible to be a better tailor than the guy who invented the antigravity bra.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2007 21:33

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Esplanade posted:

"I...can't Light Lass!" What the hell does that even mean? Is "Light Lass" some future slang for crossdressing?

I think Light Lass is telling him to put on a shirt.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2007 19:56

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Spaceman Bill posted:

Sometimes I worry about why she's running around with her arms held out from her sides. At least in the first panel she's sort of shrugging on a coat, but what's she doing in all the other panels? Pretending she's a plane?

*Vvvvrrreewwww!*

# ¿ Jan 19, 2007 21:18

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

the_steve posted:

from the February issue of Mad magazine.

Well, I mean, it is only her left hand. So what's the big deal?

# ¿ Jan 22, 2007 19:58

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Chopstix posted:

Yeah so I dont know what this new Civil War comic is about but the art is pretty bad.

It certainly looks like they're about to ask him into a gay foursome.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2007 18:18

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

fritz posted:

Mary Jane....

Kraven is hunting the elusive Poon. :cool:

# ¿ Jan 26, 2007 08:05

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Terensque posted:

Impossible. You would have to be a woman, since you would ONLY have the DNA from your mother.

No, you'd have half your genes from your mother and half your genes from yourself.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2007 08:33

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Jerusalem posted:

But the genes from yourself would have come from your mother originally but then they would..... THIS MAKE BIZARRO QUESTION EVERYTHING HE KNOW!

Nope, they would have come from you originally. It's a closed loop in time.

Here's another example of the same phenomenon:

Joe finds a book in the corner bookstore that details plans for a time machine. Intrigued, he buys it, takes it home, and builds the time machine. He tests the machine out by sending himself back in time one day, and to his surprise, it works! However, now that he knows he has a working time machine, he no longer needs the book with the plans in it, so he sells it at his corner bookstore before heading off on time-travelling adventures.

So, where did the book originally come from?

# ¿ Jan 27, 2007 09:04

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Dry Mulch posted:

"Be ashamed Iron Man, for Giant Gimli has spoken!"

Do you think if the Eternals come out on Iron Man's side, he'll pledge them his axe?

# ¿ Feb 1, 2007 19:47

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

After seeing those panels, I looked at some of the first of the Impulse run and compared them to random sampling throughout the series. According to my completely scientific measurements, if certain body parts continue their current rate of growth, poor Impulse will be a creature of nought but hair, chin, and feet within the next 18 issues.

Edit: an artist's rendering. Imagine this poor creature moving at superspeed:

McGravin fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Feb 5, 2007

# ¿ Feb 5, 2007 21:50

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

digibomb posted:

I think this little fellow already appears in Squidbillies. He's not terribly fast, though.

Come to think of it, yeah, that does totally look like Dan Halen. Weird.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2007 02:53

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

bgaesop posted:

Perhaps he just caught Bumblebee looking at porn. "YOU WANT SOME FRITTATA?"

# ¿ Feb 6, 2007 07:16

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Mr Wind Up Bird posted:

Is it the spoon that's talking in the bottom wordbubble? I honestly have no idea what the gently caress is going on here.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2007 00:50

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Thwomp posted:

Today's weird poo poo-eating/rape-face grin comes from Hyperion vs Nighthawk #2

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Ernest Becomes a Superhero!

# ¿ Feb 8, 2007 18:22

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Captain Controversy posted:

It's just a loving flashlight anyway, I mean "Mine don't have a moth signal!" Is he really planning on taking his dildo-car to every shining light in the city?

Well, I mean, he is a moth.

I just came up the perfect trap for the Killer Moth: one of those bulletproof-glass barriers that automatically comes down over doors and windows when an alarm goes off in banks and museums. The police would just find him fluttering up against it when they got there.

BetterTasteThnU posted:

Also:

Note too that the leash will kill Krypto, not just confine him. Good thinking there, Superboy!

Wouldn't a kryptonite leash kill Krypto? And even assuming it wouldn't, how the hell did Superboy get it on him without himself dying?

vvv But still, how did Superboy get the leash on him?

McGravin fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Feb 9, 2007

# ¿ Feb 9, 2007 21:44

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

thequiethero posted:

I love how the containment device is a suped-up lavalamp. Oh Jack Kirby, your take on science is always amusing.

With a coffee grinder handle, it appears. You know, in case Reed wants some dark roast single-celled organism later.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2007 15:54

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

bgaesop posted:

I like how the one-celled organism has fins and is visible to the naked eye.

Well, a cell can be pretty big--an ostrich egg is the largest individual cell on earth--and it might have cilia or a flagellum, but it certainly wouldn't have fins. Or eyes and nose, which Reed's creation also appears to have.

I think Dr. Richards needs to go back to Science School.

(Fun fact: Peter Parker went to college to earn his degree in Science. Not in physics or biology or chemistry; just plain old :science:

SCIENCE.)

# ¿ Feb 14, 2007 20:47

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

muscles like this? posted:

I feel like I'm going mad because neither of these statements make any kind of sense to me.

Sledra said something that was supposed to be an burn, directed at... Andy? Reed? The fish thing? I don't know, I didn't get it.

Then Andy responded that his burn was dumb. Effectively burning both Sledra and Sledra's insult, making it some kind of backfire-meta-burn.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2007 00:17

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

fritz posted:

Would anyone care to translate the Latin?

It's Horace's Odes, book 1. "Posterity, thinned by the crime of its ancestors, shall hear of those battles."

# ¿ Feb 16, 2007 00:58

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

plainswalker75 posted:

Where does iuventus fit in then? I've never seen it used to mean posterity . . .

Apparently so. I got this translation from a text, it's not my own.

I think you have to interpolate iuventus (youth) as "the children" which can then be poeticized as "posterity". At least, that's my best guess for how the translator got there.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2007 01:21

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

I think the language of the claim "smartest guy on earth" is a little vague. I think Batman may be a drat good detective, but I would contend that Luthor is smarter. And I think that saying Batman is the "best detective on earth" is also incorrect, since we've seen evidence that Question is around his level of detective skill if not his equal (and allegedly a better martial artist), and Detective Chimp may very well be a better than Batman. I could accept Batman being the "smartest human detective on earth", if some evidence were presented of his detecting superiority over the Question.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2007 06:29

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

I know Ben isn't exactly the scientific mind of the group, but I like how reading a children's ghost story is enough for him to abandon all logic and rational thought and flee in sheer terror from the slightest touch on the shoulder, even though he's nigh indestructible.

I mean, I bet he could kick a ghost's rear end, right?

# ¿ Feb 18, 2007 05:12

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

Young Freud posted:

But there's something funny about that tree indeed.

It's certainly poorly put together. I can't read anything unless I'm at 150% zoom at least, and the tree is laid out in possibly the most confusing way possible.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2007 07:50

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 01:25

McGravin: Aug 25, 2004; Tantum via caeli per ferro incendioque est.

sublyme posted:

Hopefully this isn't a repost, putting in here since there is no funny video clips thread.

Captain America, gently caress Yeah!

I like how the eye holes in his costume are just a tiny bit too wide, making him look like some sort of Down's Captain America.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2007 20:50

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Funny Panel Thread: Reed Richards is a colossal dick.