The Order of the Stick: T-Rex, Troll Sex and Will Checks

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scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Mods, please change my name to RICH BURLEWS THUMB, thanks.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2012 10:40

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 07:33

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

New strip! :siren:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0874.html

# ¿ Feb 28, 2013 21:43

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

I'm fairly certain Tiamat has still got all five of her heads. I don't doubt that the Familicide might have caused her some serious discomfort, but it didn't kill a head, just give her the Epic-level magic equivalent of a bad hangover. In the strip where the Fiends saw the result of their meddling with V, Tiamat was on the phone on five lines at once. Five lines, five heads.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2013 14:01

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Likewise, whether I have NoScript or Adblock turned on or off, just get a blank page.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2013 21:00

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Tjadeth posted:

I can't quite imagine Xykon referring to him by his first name either, but I guess maybe that's a part of the vengeful fantasy.

Yeah, this isn't a case of Roy having killed somebody he shouldn't have, it's a case of Roy imagining Xykon's last act is to finally remember his name.

# ¿ May 5, 2013 19:28

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

How long is the peace between Malack and Nale going to last now that their quest is basically over?

# ¿ Jul 23, 2013 04:40

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

One of Belkar's running gags is how horrible his character build is. I wouldn't be surprised if his Favored Enemy is Kobolds, because that would be funnier than the more tactically-sound choice of Undead. If he didn't just stack the bonuses on Kobolds, he probably picked Goblins and Hobgoblins for his other two choices.

For that matter, Belkar considers killing undead to be much less fun, to the point where he avoids them (when he's not under the effects of a Mark of Justice). Undead don't scream when you disembowel them or beg for mercy, so what's the point? Belkar would never take Undead as a Favored Enemy.

scuba school sucks fucked around with this message at 01:00 on Aug 10, 2013

# ¿ Aug 10, 2013 00:43

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Dolash posted:

You assume, of course, that being evil is a perfectly sane thing to be - it's not entirely unfair to compare it to mental sickness. Some people take medication for their personality disorders, others wear special alignment-flipping headgear.

In the OOTSverse, being evil is a perfectly sane thing to be. Goblins are evil by default, as are chromatic dragons. A green dragon that was Lawful Good would rightly be considered insane or cursed by other green dragons.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2013 12:44

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Up until the past couple of strips, I thought that Elan's plan to beat Tarquin was to dismiss him the way Tarquin is dismissing Nale. "Oh sure, you're the ruler of the Empire of Blood, but it's not like you're a campaign villain or something. You're not the boss of me, dad, you're not even the fake boss that we beat and then have to fight the real boss in his true form. You're a chapter boss and that's all you'll ever be. Nale is more of a campaign villain than you are."

I had figured that this would crush Tarquin utterly, but it seems that he knows he's not the Order's ultimate nemesis and is fine with that. I don't know how Durkon would have played into it though.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2013 21:40

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

I think they'll be together forever, but it will be in an ironic way, like Sabine will be personally put in charge of torturing the particular group of larva or lemures that Nale ends up in.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2013 12:46

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Slashrat posted:

Because the most heroic thing to throw in Tarquin's face is consigning a thousand random mooks who had the misfortune to be born in the wrong nation to certain death by thirst and starvation in the desert.

Haley is more "get poo poo done" and less "heroic". Also, Belkar may be headed towards an alignment shift, but he'd still find the scenario you describe amusing, if not side-splittingly hilarious.

Angela Christine posted:

She is human. That's her fursuit.

Post-avatar comb-Oh, poo poo, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that, it just slipped out. What I meant to say was that I figured out how Thog managed to flood the palace with lemon pudding that one time, and also how Tarquin could die ignobly and be forgotten. Tarquin could be "just another of the victims of the Great Lemon Pudding Flood of 8679". Because Tarquin probably has a Ring of Wishes (powered by the tormented screams of a soul-trapped leprechaun, no doubt) which Thog got ahold of one time, and if he did it once, he could do it again.

For that matter, there's almost certainly a Para-Elemental Plane of Pudding in the OOTSverse based on what we've seen.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2013 20:08

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Tarquin said that he hated Ian because Ian talked to him like an equal. Sure, Tarquin is a mighty evil overlord and Ian is just some scumbag from Greysky City, but they are, in fact, equals. Because they're both NPC story hooks who are the parent of a PC.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2013 13:00

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

O-Chul's description of how he got Xykon's spell list is also pretty metal.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2013 00:14

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

I'd take ten bird rectum posts, an alignment debate, and a half-dozen Goblins posts if we never had to hear what TvTropes had to say about anything ever again.

# ¿ Nov 23, 2013 21:52

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

My Lovely Horse posted:

Tarquin's back to status "screwed" again.

At this point all somebody has to do is say, "but nobody could have survived that!" and Tarquin's Final Form will climb back onto the ship and give the Order the fight of their lives.

# ¿ Dec 19, 2013 22:22

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Speedball posted:

So: any idea what new hazard will be thrown in our heroes' faces on their quest?

I'm looking forward to the Order getting back to some old-school dungeon crawling when they have to go invade Xykon's astral citadel in the final act.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 13:12

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

greatn posted:

I am a vampire who had a stroke irl btw and I find this discussion of whether I'm the same person offensive.

Well godsdammit, why don't you tell us if you are the same person IRL and settle the argument?

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 14:27

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

And a bunch of thieving bastards with the attention span of a parakeet.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 13:25

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Here you go, Rich! Do you see what happens, Burlew? This is what happens when you don't update on time, Burlew! This is what happens, Burlew!

# ¿ Feb 1, 2014 18:54

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Yeah, Pope Guilty is about as wrong as it is possible to be in that post. Thor and the other "good" gods are "good" because there is literally a book with the rules the game universe runs by written in it, and it says "these are the good guys" and Thor's on that list. The rules for good and evil are arguably hosed up in the OOTSverse, but "real world" morality does not apply to the RPG world. Somewhere in a Monster Manual there's an entry that says, "these guys are always evil and make good enemies for good PCs, the adults are worth 15 XP and children are worth 5 XP, 6 if they have an improvised melee weapon or 7 if they have missile weapons."

No paladins fell during the massacre of Redcloak's village because none of them committed any evil acts. Burlew alludes to the in-game fact that goblin children are inherently evil when the MitD is performing at the circus and nearly all the humans in the audience are repulsed by his form and the goblin children think he's awesome and cool.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 01:59

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Burlew, please don't use "feels" or other horrible Internet bullshit in your otherwise excellent strip.

# ¿ May 4, 2015 22:53

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

"Fantasy literature is ONLY worthwhile for what it can tell us about the real world; everything else is petty escapism."

Actually this is the worst thing Burlew ever wrote, if he wrote it, but I don't know for sure. I saw it in the signature of somebody with a pony avatar and 10000 posts on the OOTS forums, so I'm not condemning Burlew for it.

# ¿ May 4, 2015 23:43

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

MikeJF posted:

Yeah, it may be homophobia simply isn't a concept in the OotS world and gay people are just an accepted fact.

In a world where you can literally talk to the god of your choice and ask him if he really hates the gays, there's no reason that anybody can get away with saying "God hates gays".

gently caress the goblins though.

# ¿ May 7, 2015 21:57

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Since when do dwarves schtup? Dwarves don't schtup, they scrog. Pretty sure if you're having sex with a dwarf it's scrogging whether you are a dwarf or not.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2015 14:42

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Blackwing has the most enormous balls to be napping on a loving tiger like that. I don't care if it's an intelligent talking tiger that's Lawful Good, I wouldn't nap on a fuckin' tiger.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2015 23:47

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Look what happened to Tommy Chesnutt.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2015 22:13

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Oh man, read strip 875 again and compare Durkon's speech to Roy's speech in the current strip.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2015 04:11

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Big chunks of rock aren't alive and there's a bunch of rubble laying around.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 14:43

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Triple Elation posted:

The vampire dwarf's eyes are glowing red as he says "I will provide you with a fight more befitting the proper order of things". I would guess he intends to dominate Mr. Scruffy into hunting Blackwing, but does the domination gaze even work on cats?

A tiger, a housecat, a lizard, and a bird all sleeping in a big comfy pile is an abomination unto nature, a perversion of the natural order. A walking corpse powered by an evil spirit is pointing it out. I know clerics with the Animal sphere can summon animals. Maybe he's gonna summon evil opposites for the animal companions to fight since they're getting lines now and it's not like this comic has enough supporting cast already.

# ¿ Nov 25, 2015 23:26

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Lorne Malvo from TV's Fargo was pretty needlessly cruel and it's apparent you were supposed to take him seriously.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 00:39

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

IMJack posted:

I think D&D vampires have a compulsion against going in to somewhere they are not specifically invited, but don't hold me to that. The rune is a double-down to that effect.

Does that letter that Durkon never got count as an "invitation" in this case?

# ¿ Feb 17, 2016 00:59

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Wulfolme posted:

Ok, show of hands: Who here, on seeing the first panel where we see Vaarsuvius' partner and their adopted children referring to them as Parent and Other Parent, who here did not conclude that V is a male elf married to another male elf? Did anyone here have any first impression different from that? I know you can look back after the fact and say that technically technically technically they could be non-binary or masculine females which is getting away from my point altogether, but did anyone that's been reading this comic and now finds themselves reading this post look at those two together in panel and try to discern which one was the male husband and which one was the female wife?

Definitely thought V and his partner were gay married elf guys. Of course a species that lives hundreds of years is going to be ahead of the curve on civil rights. Besides, Burlew has a distinctive way of drawing males vs females and he draws V as male whether "lol elves are androgynous" or not. Also he straight out said that all of the original OOTS except Haley were men.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2016 23:09

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Maybe they can open for the Iron Golems.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2016 14:32

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

*Runs into topic panting*

*wheeze* Gee, I hope *gasp* Burlew's okay!

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots1041.html

Guys! Guys! The footprints! Look at the footprints!

# ¿ Jun 24, 2016 13:01

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

I assume it's a Rich Burlew Original Official D&D monster from one of the sourcebooks he wrote, like with the acid-breathing sharks.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2016 00:30

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

You're projecting a little there buddy.

# ¿ Jul 4, 2016 12:19

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Looking his brother in the eye.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2016 01:41

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

I can't wait to see how Witch Burlew and his Indestructible Thumb show up in Harry Potter and the Whatchamacallit of Whodathunk.

(edit) Not saying that Burlew's jab at Harry Potter is mean-spirited, Harry is tough, he can take it.

scuba school sucks fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Aug 17, 2016

# ¿ Aug 17, 2016 22:18

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

How can you tell if somebody's flipping you off in the OOTSverse? He might just be telling Roy that he's Number One.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2016 22:08

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 07:33

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

I hope Xykon's phylactery is okay.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2017 00:50

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > The Order of the Stick: T-Rex, Troll Sex and Will Checks

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