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Tie Fighter was awesome, and I think everyone should have a chance to play it. So here it is! I have the disc with me right here. Unfortunately, I don't have a joystick, so I'm going to reconstruct the game from memory. And, sadly, the game is supposed to run in DOS, and MSPaint doesn't emulate the sound correctly. The game starts off with a riveting speech from the Emperor!  He's pretty optomistic about the State of the Empire! So we go to a cutscene of some dogfighting action, like we'll be doing:  Okay, so in the real cutscene, the fuselage didn't fly out of the A-Wing and destroy the Tie Interceptor, but it happens alot in the game, so I thought I'd include it. BLAM! TOTALLY GAMES:  Now, here's a TIE Fighter Pilot [ARTISTS RENDITION]:  We're nervous about our first assignment, okay? Oh, God, the yelling begins:  Quick, what is our name???
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Feb 5, 2007 18:42
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Tripred posted:George Lucas Awesome! Okay, we're ready for our first mission. Since we're a rookie, they wouldn't start us off with a hard one right? Here's the briefing room. What should we do?  We can: 1) View the tactical map 2) Talk to our CO on the balcony 3) Speak to that shadowy figure guy that's giving me the creeps
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Feb 5, 2007 19:31
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KarmaEnforcer posted:Molest the CO with the giant penis on the chalkboard. You mean the NEBULON B FRIGATE "THE REVENGENCESS"?? <  >
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Feb 5, 2007 19:37
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KarmaEnforcer posted:Yes! Okay  Great job! We are off to a fantastic start!
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Feb 5, 2007 19:43
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Here's the tactical map and mission objectives: "You will be flying TIE Bomber Beta 1. You will have 2 wingmen." "Your objectives is to inspect all 100 cargo containers, and then destroy them." "Watch out for the mines around the cargo containers." "TIE Fighter group Alpha will assist by getting destroyed by the A-Wings." "Your secondary objective is to inspect each of the mines for contraband and rebel leaders before destroying them." "Your craft will be armed with space bombs for this mission. Be sure to inspect your bombs for contraband and rebel leaders before they hit their targets." "If you run out of bombs, Tug Deco will be deployed for you to reload. There is no way those A-Wings will attack you while this happens."
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Feb 5, 2007 19:56
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Yaos posted:That's not the first mission in the game. GO TO HELL. You shoulda bought the expansion pack
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Feb 5, 2007 21:13
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Okay, lets go ask that shadowy figure if he knows where any hookers are: "How may I serve the emperor?" Officer Questions: 1. Any Special Advice? 2. weher da hookers at? [Selected] Response: "I've got all the cargo containers you need to inspect right here  "...yeah, inspecting even more cargo containers doesn't sound very interesting, so I'm just gonna start the mission. Here's our spacecraft:  What's this badboy sporting? 1) Two laser cannons 2) Four space bombs 3) No shields 4) No Hyperdrive 5) Tractor beam (I suggest we put all power from this to our engines so we can at least keep pace with maybe Y-Wings, okay??) Fantastic! Whelp, we're deployed:  Looks like Alpha squadron's on their way to get destroyed.  What should we do? More importantly, what should our wingmen do?
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Feb 5, 2007 21:20
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Gasmask posted:bomb the poo poo out of the frigate Well, that sounds easier than dodging mines. Lets target it so we can tell our wingmen to attack it:  We were close enough to inspect it. Its full of Contraband and Rebels!  "Good work..Beta 1...Secret Mission Objectives completed" Gasmask posted:Mu 1 is the Emporer's stool pigeon! Oh god, we're in trouble now. Commence bombing action!  Noooooooo Beta 2! We're out of space bombs. What now???
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Feb 5, 2007 21:59
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Yaos posted:Let's tell Lucas Arts we need a new Star Wars space game. Something like Privateer will do. Don't worry, I'm going to email them this thread when we finish all 12 campaigns  Anyway! KarmaEnforcer posted:It depends. If Alpha has carried out their mission, then it's time to re-arm. Otherwise, we obviously need to engage the A-wings and show them who the miggity-mack-daddy is. "TIE Fighter group Alpha has been destroyed" Mission Accomplished! So, that means lets call over Tug Deco for some more space bombs.  "Orders recieved!" They are on their way, but they better hurry. Beta 3 just bit it.  We are reloading, but I think we better move out pretty quick 
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Feb 5, 2007 23:06
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KarmaEnforcer posted:Make sure to inspect the Tug. It could be full of contraband and/or rebel officers. Good idea.  "Good Job..Beta 1..Secret Secondary Bonus Mission Completed!" Naw, man, that's just Steve in there. Steve posted:he's just chillin  Tripred posted:Call for reinforcements! So I press Shift+R and confirm. And what do we get?  welp
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Feb 5, 2007 23:49
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Well, I inspected the TIE Defender and found Contraband and Imperials, so I guess I can let that one go. "Great Job..Beta 1..Super Secret Secondary Bonus Mission Objective completed!"  Well, lets see how he helps out...  drat, that was fast! "Great Job..Beta 1..Primary Objective completed!" Sweet, now even if we explode, we can still win the mission. Lets score some bonus points. Mr. Peepers posted:use your space bombs to take out the a-wings, i bet a single bomb could kill one in one hit. oh yeah you'll need to shoot out the a-wings engines first.   Ahhaahha, that was awesome, good jo  
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Feb 6, 2007 00:17
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More updates coming tonight, my monitor is running out of the color gray
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Feb 6, 2007 00:57
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Aaaand, we're back. Well, we survived the impact, thanks to outer space eject seats  and Imperial Grade Bacta! We gotta work out more Anyway, due to our awesome skillz at flying, we've been inducted into the highly secretive Order of the Emperor. Maybe we'll finally be noticed by that hot chick from earlier     Because that giant glowing purple thing on my arm isn't obvious at all.Well, its time to get our breifing for our next mission:  "You will fly a TIE Fighter designated as Alpha 1. You will have one wingman. I understand that 2 man squadrons seems a bit unusual to you, but we're going to do this for the rest of the game anyway." "You will fly a patrol around the space station DC-12. Go back and forth from the station and the nav-bouy for approximately an hour." "Engage any rebel craft that arrive in the area (there will be about 30 waves of them). Unfortunately, the rebels don't seem so keen on adopting our 2 man squadron idea." "We're also arming your TIE Fighter with Advanced Concussion missiles. Each of these singularly are more expensive than an entire squadron of TIE Fighters, so try to use them before you inevitabley get killed by one of those shuttles with a rear mounted turret." Fantastic. Well, should we launch now? Talk to our CO about this? Find that shadowy figure again? CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE! Nebalebadingdong fucked around with this message at 02:43 on Feb 6, 2007 |
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Feb 6, 2007 02:33
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Ka0 posted:go to a parlor and have your tattoo completed itll save you days of hard work trust me (the emporer wont notice) Well, there's no tattoo parlor on our Star Destroyer, but I happen to have this fancy Magenta Highlighter   I can't remember what the full mark looks like  . That's okay, that fancy tattoo will command some respect...Now, about that shadowy figure... KarmaEnforcer posted:Ask the shadowy dude if it's true about the razor blades thing.  "Hey there sweet stuff!  "Officer Questions: 1) "How may I serve the emperor?" 2) "Is the urban legend about vaginal razors true?" [Selected] Response: "There's only one way to find out, hot shot!" ... I guess that means she doesn't know?  Axe-man posted:find the shadowy figure again and beat him until he is dead.  ...I don't feel so good about this guys. I think I hear the CO coming 
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Feb 6, 2007 03:02
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Yaos posted:Take over the Empire and replace all unshielded aircraft with planes from WW2; but the planes can fly in space. Those planes have better shooting power and can take more than two shots from a laser. IMMERSION RUINED
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Feb 6, 2007 03:19
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Yaos posted:Why is our technology better than the Empires? Why can't they target things more than a kilometer away? its a space kilometer okay?
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Feb 6, 2007 03:25
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Mr. Pumroy posted:Take off your flight suit and put the body in it, then disguise yourself in the robes. Quick before anyone sees! Also, tell him that the pilot is being a pussy and needs to be physically placed into the TIE. That's a pretty terrible idea. You can't fly TIE fighters without a spacesuit
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Feb 6, 2007 06:27
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Chief Rebel Angel posted:
Finally, an answer I can get behind! Minigame: Tilt your monitor left, right, up, or down to make George Lucas reach the TIE Fighter to start the next mission. Remember to avoid your CO since you killed a Hooker of the Emperor, and bonus points if you can grab the ice cream in thirty seconds. 
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Feb 6, 2007 17:26
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Axe-man posted:done and I got the ice cream all in 20 Excellent, we got to the TIE Fighter AND got some ice cream. Things are looking up. So, I took the liberty of starting the next mission:  Here's the space platform. Don't worry, I already inspected it  And while I'm at it, I'll go ahead and inspect our wingman:  It says its cargo is a "Tug" Its Steve! I guess he got a promotion  Together, we start the patrol route, and sure enough, the rebels are showing up:  Some X-Wings and some Y-Wings. I think we can handle that. Wait a second, something else is showing up... Pau posted:Do a barrel roll Chief Rebel Angel posted:the answer is clearly to use the boost to get through    ahahahah, ROB released the land master, wut a nub What do we do now???
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Feb 6, 2007 23:09
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Axe-man posted:write slash fiction about fox and ziggy in the cockpit and let them take out the the xwings. Not sure how that works, but I'll get right on it!  Oh god, the ice cream! ...its everywhere!  
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Feb 7, 2007 05:12
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 Well, its not looking good. We're heavily outnumbered and the Space Station is being bombarded. But wait...what's that over there?  It looks like a...  "Double Wing Blaster"   That's what I always thought he said. notZaar posted:Contact Fox to offer him a piloting job, then garrote him in the Star Destroyer barracks later. I target fox and press "shift-o" and he says: "Thanks for blowing up that guy, he was always such an insubordinate rear end. We'll join you" garroting notedWell, what now? Mop up duty? Board the great fox? Go home and play Civ 4 again?
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Feb 7, 2007 17:17
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We are unstoppable now!   I feel like Vader himself  i haev you now lmao  Lets head back to base. Aww, our CO is just beaming with pride.  Uhh, that would be a negatory there, sir. ..Gotta go! *later that evening*     Next mission coming soon! 
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Feb 7, 2007 18:14
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notZaar posted:
I didn't like it, probably because I couldn't play it's multiplayer. And it emphasized missile combat too much. Its supposed to be WW2 dogfighting in space! Edit: I've got two copies of TIE Fighter Collector's CD-ROM sitting here on my desk
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Feb 7, 2007 19:03
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notZaar posted:everybody knows space missles are where its at. didn't you ever play freespace? Nope 
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Feb 7, 2007 19:07
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Cav posted:That and people would gay it up with lag. Or they'd use my favorite* strategy: taking a Y-Wing or a B-Wing and breaking to send your opponent into you. The original was still official Star Wars music, but in MIDI, right? It was cool cuz it was dynamic with what was going on in the game I'll try to make another update before work
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Feb 7, 2007 22:20
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We're about to start the briefing for the next mission. Apparantly, we'll be flying Gunboats today. Hooray shields!  Oh, and Slippy has been pretty upset ever since Fox "disappeared". Here's Steve trying to console him.  Yes, I was surprised to find that Steve was actually a smaller Tug that drives a Tug. Its okay, I'm not prejudiced. MasterGrazzt posted:you really should sneak those corpses aboard your ship on your next mission and jettison them before someone finds out Fine thinking soldier! I'll have to find some way to sneak them aboard the Gunboat without being caught.  I told him it was laundery Anyway, here's the mission briefing:  "You will fly the Gunboat designated Moo 1." "Initially, we were going to let Team Starfox handle this one, but since Fox has gone missing, we're putting you in charge. Your wingmen will be Peppy and Slippy, in their Arwings." "You three will hyperspace into this sector, where we believe a secret deal is going on between the Rebels and a mysterious third party. We think the rebels maybe trying to get some new technology." "You must disable the shuttles Lamda and LOLmda. When you do this, the Great Fox will hyper in to release Tug Deco who will retrieve the disabled craft." "If the new technology turns out to be Mag Pulse, just give it back. Jesus, that stuff's useless." That sounds easy enough. You guys come up with a game plan, I gotta sign out for now
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Feb 7, 2007 23:34
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DaveKap posted:I had to leave the thread once I read this. I needed oxygen from laughing too hard. Please, keep up the awesome work. I'm honestly suprised someone got that joke Edit: CharredBronson posted:next time you have to land you should jump out of the tie fighter and skydive through the rings like pilotwings it will kick rear end trust me 
Nebalebadingdong fucked around with this message at 06:33 on Feb 8, 2007 |
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Feb 8, 2007 05:49
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Let's get going! Engaging the hyper drive system. its purdy  Yep, there's the shuttles. And it looks like the Z-95's are pissed.  lol z95s Peppy started saying something about it being too quiet, but I interrupted him to tell him to engage the Z-95s with a little "Shift-A" action. I have more important things to attend to, like avoid a court martial. While everyone else is busy, I'll just jettison these...  Wow, out here, they look beatiful... Oh well, eat space laser, bitch   Now to take out the other one...  oh god  You know, what are the odds of that even happening? Now what?
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Feb 8, 2007 06:27
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deadpan posted:Forget Slippy, your sensor in the bottom right is picking up some dank nugz. Hunt down and smoke that poo poo! That must be that contraband all these rebels are getting their hands on!
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Feb 8, 2007 06:45
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Shiver posted:Whip out those Ion cannons and disable Slippy's Arwing. We can just kinda leave him there after the mission is over. Sounds like a plan. Peppy is still busy with the remaining Z-95s (z95s rofl). I guess his eye sight is bad if he can't deal with those things.  He bawled like a baby the whole time  Anyway, back to the mission. I went ahead and inspected the shuttles, and it turns out that it was just T-Shirts for the new Mag Pulse technology.  "Good job...Moo 1...Primary Mission Objectives Completed. You may return to base whenever ready." But I'm starting to get a little nervous. What if the rabbit saw me? What if he knows? ...what if he had an accident? Then I thought, what if it was finally a good time to put the tractor beam to good use?     "Good job...Moo 1...Secret Mission Objectives Completed. All Furries destroyed or disabled."  Well, lets head back to base. I noticed it took Steve sometime to return, even though technically he didn't even have to enter the mission.  After hitting the showers, I asked Steve if he wanted to help me inspect an Imperial Six-pack for rebels and contraband, but he said he had something important to do. There was something behind his back, but I couldn't see it. What's up with that? Should I be worried? Should I follow him?
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Feb 8, 2007 15:55
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Vermilion posted:Follow him but use a disguise Disguise completed    I followed Steve to the fanciest resteraunt on board the Star Destroyer. The idea of Steve finding Ms. Tug out there excited me, but it also made me afraid that I might lose my best friend. What I actually found horrified me...   
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Feb 8, 2007 20:31
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Yaos posted:Before doing any thing you need to find out if the frog has Rebels inside of him. Yes. Yes, most definitely. Lets wait for Slippy to start returning to his quarters...   Now to look for those rebels. Fortunately, I still have my old vibro-frog gig from back home:  Nope, no rebels. The emperor has been served. Well, now I need to get rid of the body. How does one dispose of a giant frog? ...the onboard chef  After a thoroughly incomprehensible discussion, I can only conclude that tonight's main course will be frogfurters. Now I'm being beeped by the CO. Looks like we have an emergency mission on our hands!  "Our Star Destroyer, The Peabody, was ambushed by a Mon Calamari cruiser just moments before. We will close in for a true battle of the Titans." "You will fly the Assault Gunboat designated Alpha 1. You will have 2 wingmen." "The Calamari will deploy Y-Wings to attack The Peabody. Take them out first." "Then take the fight to the cruiser by escorting the Bombers. Try to draw the Turbolasers away from the bombers, because they're just going to fly straight. They'll also bother locking onto the cruiser, despite the fact that ITS ENORMOUS AND NOT MOVING." "And for God's sake, if you start crashing, steer away from the Peabody's command deck." Nebalebadingdong fucked around with this message at 05:27 on Feb 9, 2007 |
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Feb 9, 2007 00:05
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HOLY GOD THIS IS BEDLAM   I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS Vermilion posted:Be sure to check the rebel ships for rebels and contraband  Could this be the end????? Will we be the ones who crash into the command deck and end as a flaming cliche??? STAY TUNED
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Feb 9, 2007 06:17
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         Ka0 posted:SREVE THE EMPREOR  Gasmask posted:Mu 1 is the Emporer's stool pigeon!  Ka0 posted:SREVE THE EMPREOR  Gasmask posted:MU 1 IS THE EMPEROR'S STOOL PIGEON!!!!!   What do we name our new Star Destroyer?
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Feb 9, 2007 07:26
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AxeManiac posted:I would have kicked anyones rear end for reporting this. We like humor threads in the main game forum too. You can move it if you want, though I started it as a gimmick. I guess it just took off from there. GET IT TOOK OFF IN SPACE OH GOD
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Feb 9, 2007 08:51
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Chem-Comando posted:...ram into the next rebel ship you see. It's not like you have to pay for damages, is it? Done and done!   Victory! All rebel craft have either fled or been destroyed! Welcome to the good ship NCC 1701 SS-SD Faggostevebridgedinger Goonarrhea RamReciever  Our sudden victory has inspired some loyalty in the ship's crew and soldiers, despite our defection. But, I fear it won't last without some serious effort on our part. These people have spent their entire lives serving the emperor. What can we do that would make them prefer serving us, instead of him? First idea recieved! Mr The Icon posted:Whatever you name it, you need to make sure there are a lot of those little black box remote control cars running all over it. They are important or some junk. Free pet Mouse Droids for EVERYONE!  Also, now that we're in charge, we get to setup any special regulations and procedures that the crew must follow. What should we do? And finally, but probably most importantly, what should we conduct as our first mission? (Also, remember we have no shields, and we have part of a Mon Calamari Cruiser stuck to the front of our ship! Oh, and don't forget, we still have the Great Fox and two Arwings to go along with our complements of TIE Fighters. And lots and lots of ground troops, AT-ATs, AT-STs, etc. )
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Feb 9, 2007 18:00
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Tripred posted:oh god I love this thread. are you doing the mspaints with mouse/kb, or do you have a tablet? muose/kb 4 life beetches
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Feb 9, 2007 18:37
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Lobok posted:If there are any hangars left intact on the piece of Mon Calamari stuck to your ship, take all the Rebel fighters and combine them with yours. Y-TIEs, B-Bombers, X-Intercepts (the math nerds can fly those), etc. These Frankenstein creations will (hopefully) combine the best of both worlds and (maybe) give you the best fighters in the galaxy! Great news! We found a hanger full of starfighters! Our scientists are creating schematics for new fighters now:    notZaar posted:Also as a new regulation all Storm Troopers must pass firing range qualifications with a score of at least 70% or be jettisioned into space. We can kill two birds with one stone. Now we get rid of useless troopers, and we improve the other's gunnery skills by turning them into targets!  Vermilion posted:Ice-cream for all TripRed posted:gently caress all that noise, you've been working hard and killing furries for days now with no rest. It's time for BIG AMERICAN PARTY! EVERYBODY DISCO-DANCING! These two things go together very well   Well, looks like everyone is having a good time out here! 
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Feb 9, 2007 20:47
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Chem-Comando posted:Console Steve by giving him a brand new romantic interest! Perhaps one of the extra stormtroopers, or a mouse bot! The mouse bot seemed like a good idea. I figured since Steve is just a miniature Tug, he'd find a droid more appealing than a giant gay frog.   It didn't seem to be working. So I tried something a little different...  But it just made things worse.. I guess I don't understand love. Boom316 posted:I still say we need to get our shields back. Steal the big dome from Epcot center. It'd make a perfect ISD Sheild Dome. Lobok posted:What if we bluffed? After splicing the ships together, there should be a lot of spare wings left over from the TIE Fighters. We could weld those together to look like generators. Now, I know you're thinking "But those won't make spheres," but that's the plan! When they see our awesome FrankenFighters, and then our shield generators, they'll be like "Naw, son! This muhfucka got all da poo poo! Fuckin' crazy-rear end fightaz and he's stuntin' that whip with dodeca-muhfuckin'-hedron shields??? Dis nigga's crazy! Let's jet!" Poopy Palpy posted:Any opponent stupid enough to think that the bridge section sensor domes are shield generators wouldn't have the deductive reasoning to piece all that together. Yeah, I'm a fanwank nerd, what of it? You guys are making this WAY too complicated. Lets stick with what works and go with this advice: notZaar posted:Our next order of business is to ram the entire ship onto the bridge of a Super Star Destroyer and commandeer that vessel into our growing armada. Of course, its too ambitious to try and take something like the Executor now, so we'll just attack an Imperial Shipyard with several ships in drydock. The more capital ships in our possession, the better! So, I went and found our old CO. First, I made him wear a funny hat:  Then I told him to come up with a mission plan that would be satisfying for what we want to do. When he told me it was stupid, I threatened him with the Stormtrooper 70% test  "We will be flying the ISD designated Alpha 1. I mean NCC 1701 SS-SD Faggostevebridgedinger Goonarrhea RamReciever. We will have, uhh, no wingmen." "Once we hyperspace into the area, we will deploy every transport shuttle and gunboat." "The pilots' orders are simple. They will all crash into the bridges of every ship we can find. There will be multiple gunboats and shuttles per capital ship to improve the absolutely miniscule odds that they survive to take command of the bridge. The first pilot to take a bridge gets to command the ship." Facial Butter posted:I think as a penance for this horrible act, you should improve your piloting skills by taking your ISD through the obstacle training course tunnel thing. "After the battle, each new captain must pilot their craft through the training course. If they fail, we jettison them into space, and the second pilot who survived the crash into the bridge of that ship gets a turn."
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Feb 10, 2007 06:57
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Q_res posted:This thread made me wish I had TIE Fighter. After you guys recommending Freespace 1 & 2, I am now thoroughly entrenched into those games. AND THEY ARE AWESOME. Thanks guys! If you can't find TIE Fighter, this game plays almost exactly like it, and it seems just as good (no goroud shading goodness though) http://scp.indiegames.us/news.php New update coming soon
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Feb 10, 2007 20:18
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