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Morgenthau posted:"....witnesses report seeing a bloody teddy bear at the scene of the crime." That doesn't prove anything. Those teddy bears have been covered in blood for weeks now.
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Sep 18, 2007 06:10
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Grunduggerer posted:That doesn't prove anything. Those teddy bears have been covered in blood for weeks now. Then I click on the last page of this thread and see this:
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Sep 19, 2007 00:14
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Jean-Paul knows who is voting for Iris and who is not. Jean-Paul is watching...
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Sep 19, 2007 00:47
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Some of us have armies of suicide bots to protect us. 
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Sep 19, 2007 01:59
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9 hours, and then... And then...
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Sep 19, 2007 04:48
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And then teddy bear cavalry.
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Sep 19, 2007 05:20
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Dominic Hokage posted:And then teddy bear cavalry. We can only hope!
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Sep 19, 2007 11:22
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I'll put my vote in for Sumrie (with her lips just like rubies and her firm and subtle ...warm embrace)
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Sep 19, 2007 11:37
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So I'd spent the last few days digging a hole out of the Leper's Colony, using only my spoon and my scattered wits. On the fourth day, I broke through the wall- piercing the heavens, even- and discovered that I had, in fact, dug straight out of the SA forums themselves. Freedom! I cried. Freedom from the disease-ridden Leper's Colony, filled with b&-hammer'd ex-goons and those who indeed squealed like piggies! Taking in a breath of fresh air, I looked up at the skies-- ... Upon realizing that I'd ended up in 4chan, I crawled back into the Leper's Colony and patiently waited out the rest of my sentence, rather than risk my sanity once again. Thanks for your patience, guys. Update's a-comin' tonight, as usual! Now, just a few quick notes... 1) With the new votes... well, Maria and Sumire are still tied. What's up with that? 2) 
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Sep 19, 2007 16:26
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Spirit Armor posted:1) With the new votes... well, Maria and Sumire are still tied. What's up with that? THREESOME! 
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Sep 19, 2007 16:33
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gently caress it, I'll change my vote to Sumire. Bastards. 
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Sep 19, 2007 17:15
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Canuck-Errant posted:THREESOME! HAREM END? Sindai posted:gently caress it, I'll change my vote to Sumire. Bastards. Huh. Alright! FIRST PLACE (by one vote): Sumire Kanzaki  SECOND PLACE: Maria Tachibana  THIRD PLACE (by a good chunk): Li Kohran  etc. Iris Chateaubriand 
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Sep 19, 2007 18:04
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I'm tempted to change my vote to Iris just to see how hosed up that path gets.
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Sep 19, 2007 19:11
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VICTORY!! Let's look back to the image that won us over! Excellent. As reward, no one shall be sacrificed to Kohran this evening. Awwwww...
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Sep 19, 2007 19:12
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Spuzz posted:I'm tempted to change my vote to Iris just to see how hosed up that path gets. I don't think you've voted yet? Or if you have, I'd lost it somewhere under oodles and oodles of posts. You're welcome to vote for She Who Must Not Be Named. Grunduggerer posted:VICTORY!! Let's look back to the image that won us over! Oh, you silly Sumireans. The battle hasn't even started in earnest yet. Once we get our sixth pilot...
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Sep 19, 2007 19:35
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I could have sworn I voted for Sumire earlier. I'll wait for any changes once the mystery sixth pilot shows up.
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Sep 19, 2007 19:40
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Although the bath picture is most certainly full of cleavage, I'm partial to this one:
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Sep 19, 2007 19:44
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Spirit Armor posted:Oh, you silly Sumireans. The battle hasn't even started in earnest yet. Once we get our sixth pilot... I've seen enough of the sixth pilot to have an idea of how she'll act. Hasn't Ogami been tortured enough? Well, no. But I prefer Sumire.
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Sep 19, 2007 19:56
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I didn't vote for Sumire so much as against Marie. My love of  could never be defeated by such crude bathing suit or towel pandering. Grunduggerer posted:I've seen enough of the sixth pilot to have an idea of how she'll act. Hasn't Ogami been tortured enough? I'm trying to think of what harem cliche is missing, though. Ogami's childhood friend or adopted sister?
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Sep 19, 2007 20:30
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Yeah... I think I'll hold off on my final vote until the last pilot is introduced. Most of us haven't actually played this game (it being in Sindai posted:This sounds promising. Please don't let this go on the 'incest' route. Isn't Iris enough of a 'dear god, no!' choice?
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Sep 20, 2007 00:43
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Sindai posted:I'm trying to think of what harem cliche is missing, though. Fortunately for us Sakura Wars is meant for general consumption so there are none of those types of mindfuckery in the series. At least the sixth pilot is a lot more friendlier than the other girls. She does have a specific cliche, though it's decidedly 'western' in nature. She deals PAIN, PHYSICAL PAIN... 
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Sep 20, 2007 04:31
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Tonight's update is a bit lighter than usual. To make up for it, there will be another update tomorrow. Anyways... here we go with Chapter Three!  As if the next episode preview hadn't already hammered home the fact that it's going to be all about Maria. Also, I FINALLY remembered to crack open the stats sheet! No need to thank me.   With this, we can tell who's in first place, along with how happy everyone is. And isn't that nice? Everyone's just bursting at the seams with spirit and happiness and- w-wait.  Number one is... number one is... ---- [Iris]   ----  No. Th-that's not true. That's impossible!! ---- [Iris] Search your feelings, Oniichan. You know it to be true. ----  N-nuh... n-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! ... ... ... ... We now join the fifty-third hour of the Hive of Darkness's nine-hundred-sixty-fifth meeting, currently in session.  ... the Hive of Darkness has the worst meetings EVER. All of them consist of Tenkai yelling a lot and curisng the fools who get in his way. And his underlings don't even get to sit in chairs, the poor bastards.  [Tenkai]  Hoh... a clever plan, you say....? [Setsuna]  The Imperial Assault Force's strength lies in the leadership of its captain, Ichiro Ogami, and of Maria Tachibana. In other words, if only those two were to disappear... ---- [Miroku]  What about Sumire Kanzaki? [Setsuna] ... who? [Miroku] The purple one. [Setsuna] Oh, HER. Did you even SEE her fight last battle? Don't worry, she's totally loving useless. (ELSEWHERE) [Sumire]   ---- [Miroku] However... achieving something like that would be no small feat... [Setsuna] ... I have gotten ahold of some interesting information with regards to Maria Tachibana. If I were to use that, then perhaps.... Good god, kid, you'd be able to find all SORTS of traumatic information buried within Ogami's skull. Why don't you just use that? [Tenkai]  Hoh... alright, Setsuna. I shall leave this matter in your hands... show to me the beautiful destruction of the Imperial Assault Force! [Setsuna] Yes, my lord!! Please leave it to me...  ... loving creepy kid. [Setsuna] Now then, Maria Tachibana... how shall I drag out yours?  Yes, I've finally discovered how to be all fancy-pants with Paint Shop Pro. Well, okay, fine, re-discovered. I mean, if this were my first picture-tinkering ever, I probably wouldn't have been able to resist adding all sorts of crazy poo poo.  Yeah, sorta like that.  As par for the course, we find our brave hero and heroines at their place of employment, attempting to scrape out some sort of meager existence on what piddling wages they've been receiving: The theater.  [Yuri]  Thank you very much for your attendance today. From the bottom of our hearts, we hope that you will come to visit us once again.  After flipping through the various alternate translations for the kanji for "released"... well, resisting the urge to sub in "emancipated" or "liberated" took a great exertion of willpower. [Ogami]  Now then. For now, I guess I'll go somewhere. To do something. Possibly with someone. Ogami, you're living on the edge, you wild man you.   I couldn't resist this one. [Maria]  ........ [Ogami]  Huh? She didn't hear me? ... Maria? Out of it? [Ogami]  Heeeeey, Maria~!  [Ogami] What's wrong, Maria? It's not like you to space out.  [Maria] Ensign... this may be something of an abrupt question, but... [Ogami] Ah, aah... what's up? [Maria] Dreams about the past, Ensign... do you see them often?  No, I'm not letting Ogami regale the scary Russian gunwoman with his sex dreams. ---- [Ogami]  Not even about the dream where I'm screwing a Russian woman, a rich Japanese girl, and a Chinese techie? ---- [Ogami] That's right... I see them often. Dreams about my time at the naval academy, and dreams about when I first came to this place... ---- [Ogami] ... back when I was merely an innocent man with much of his soul intact... ---- [Ogami] But... what's wrong? To ask about something like that... [Maria] No... it is nothing. And then, disdaining to walk along the ground like a mortal human being, Maria spun around thrice before sinking into the theater's plush carpets, taking an unfortunate bystander's legs with her.  [Ogami] .... I wonder what's wrong. This isn't like the usual Maria. ---- [Ogami] She usually does a triple-axel spin before launching up into the sky, piercing the very heavens with her fists... she's off her game today. ----  [Ogami] Aah, Kasumi-kun... good job to you, too.  ... how many other tall blonde Russian women do you see in this establishment, Kasumi? [Ogami] ... yeah. But... somehow, it felt as if Maria was absent-minded while I was talking to her... It wasn't like her at all.  [Kasumi]  During today's production, Maria-san apparently made mistakes with her lines...  G... good GOD. That's like hearing that the sun's decided not to rise today.WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE. [Kasumi] To think that THAT Maria-san would make such a mistake... it is unbelievable, isn't it? [Ogami] You're right... INTO THE BOX WITH HER!! and then give her more power training before sending her off to the tournaments.  Well, an indeliable law of nature (Maria being on top of her game 24/7) has given way to madness. I'd better lie to Kasumi so that she doesn't fly into a screaming panic. [Ogami]  Everyone makes mistakes. Besides, you can't criticize a failure before asking why something went wrong in the first place.  [Ogami] I guess that's because I'm the Flower Division's captain, huh. I have to be concerned about everyone. [Kasumi]  But, Maria-san.... isn't the type of person to confide in others about her worries...  [Ogami] Kanna?  [Kasumi] Kanna Kirishima-san is one of the oldest members of the Flower Division, as is Maria-san. Since they've known each other for so long, I'm certain that she would be able to help out Maria-san, but... And I'm equally certain that we won't be seeing her at all this chapter, now that we've provided some background on who his "Kanna" character is. :iamafag: [Old Man]  Aaah, excuse me, miss. I'd like a ticket for next time's performance.... [Kasumi] Ah, my apologies. I shall help you right away. Now then, Ogami-san, please excuse me here.  Yup, Ogami, you'd better get crackin' right away.  ... y'know, once you've finished macking on everyone else in sight.  ----  Well, there's a lot to do during this Free Roam hour. Let's get crackin'. First off? We need to pay the three girls of the theater a visit. I've been neglecting them lately.  It's Tsubaki! [Tsubaki]  This time's production is 'Cinderella'! Thank you, Tsubaki, I'm sure I never would've remembered what Yuri had been broadcasting over the PA system for the past twenty minutes. [Tsubaki] And continuing on from last month, Maria-san's been playing the part of the prince again, isn't she! And Ogami tried playing the part of the stepmother, at least until Sumire convinced him to give back her role by doing this amazing thing with the veins in her bulging, enraged eyes. [Ogami] (And it was Maria who...) [Tsubaki] Ogami-san? Is something the matter? [Ogami] No... it's nothing. Strikin' up a conversation before looking at the bromides... [Tsubaki] Um.... it's about Maria, but... Lately, it seems that she's been sighing an awful lot... [Ogami]  As expected, huh... [Tsubaki] Ogami-san.... what do you think of Maria?  ...  :iamafag: [Ogami]  A distressed-looking Maria is fine, too. Somehow... she's sort of sexy like that... WELL NOW,  [Ogami] Ah.... whoops, that was a bit inappropriate, wasn't it...  ... WELL NOW, THIS... is actually sort of creepy. [Tsubaki]  When someone who's always got her stuff together becomes listless... You want to give her strength... and give her a hug, right? [Ogami] Yes, yes, that's exactly it. Tsubaki-chan... we're going to get along just fine, aren't we. [Tsubaki] Ehehehehehehe.... that we are. OGAMI has been inducted into TSUBAKI's little stalker fanclub! (Daa daa daa DAAAAAAAH~~~~!!) And somewhere, Maria gets this odd little chill up her spine, and this horrible sense of foreboding...  To commemorate their new, stalker-ish fanclub thing, Ogami decides to relieve Tsubaki of a bromide.  Everytime he looked at Maria's bromide, Tsubaki kept talking about she's got a few... rarer bromides of Maria just under the counter, eh eh wink wink nudge nudge know what I mean know what I mean.  ... but Ogami wasn't really paying attention because Sumire's cleavage sucked in his attention. ---- [Ogami] Tsubaki, I'd like this one. ---- ... ---- [Ogami] ... Tsubaki? [Tsubaki] Haaaah.... Maria-san.... i-if I were to approach her and tell her that she's free to weep into my bosom anytime, then maybe... ---- ... hold up a sec.  ----   THERE we go. [Tsubaki]  Quite a few of Sumire-san's fans seem to be the sons of really rich people, don't they? That comes to fifty sen~. Thank you very much for your purchase!  And with that, Ogami takes his leave. Off to the office... quarters... thing!  ... oh?  poo poo, this explains why we haven't seen guests actually LEAVING the cafeteria. They've all been getting eaten.  [Ogami] Well... it's not really important, huh. It doesn't seem like anyone else's here.... WHAT NOT REALLY IMPORTANT?! YOU BASTARD, DON'T YOU DARE GLOSS OVER HER EXISTENCE LIKE THAT! *ahem* I mean.... let's go on, shall we? [Ogami] Guess I'll try going to another room.  ... huh, I don't think I've ever been to this room before. I THINK it's the VIP entrance or something? Whatever it is....  ... it falls within Yuri's jurisdiction. [Ogami] Hm.....? Do you need me for something? [Yuri]  It's not quite like that- no guests have been coming, and since I've got nothing to do.... I was just hoping that someone'd drop by. [Ogami] Haah.... This is a bit too much like . I should probably just leave.[Yuri] How about it? Just to kill time, do you want me to give you your fortune for this month? [Ogami] Let's see... Eh, let's just go with some light, meaningless chatter fir- [Yuri] Oh, right, Ogami-san. You want to try being a model? - gkhjadkasd [Ogami] Model? Me...? What in the world? Work that runway, Ogami!   ... oh. [Yuri] A model for those kinds of pictures. It's because lately, men are starting to become fashion-conscious, too. Ogami-san, you look like you'd be photogenic. So? Want to try it? [Ogami] Let's see...  You only live once... but being a fashion model will grant you immortality within the very spleen of pop culture. [Ogami] It'd be nice to give it a try. I mean, I'm a bit interested in modeling, so. And acting. Lots of interest in acting.  Ogami has a hairstyle that can best be described as "porcupine gently caressed a broom", and all he's ever worn is the ticket-taker's outfit. No, I don't know where she got that idea from, either.  [Yuri] Now then... the hairstyle I want you to try is the 7-3 split, or parting all your hair to one side. [Ogami] All to one side....? ... on me?! Do you think someone like that would even look good on me? ... even before that, would it even be POSSIBLE to part his hair that way?  Without it looking like total rear end, I mean. [Yuri] ... that's true. I don't think it'd suit you well. Aa~aah, I'm going to have to keep looking. If I don't find a model by the middle of the week, I won't be able to keep my promise. How DOES Yuri look for models, anyway? Does she like, go wandering in the middle of the street and proposition good-looking young men? .... that's not really a question that I want answered. 'Sides, Ogami doesn't HAVE that much time to waste on the three theater girls! He's a busy man, busy with making sure that the PILOTS are all in tip-top condition.  O-okay, so he might have enough time for ONE more stop.   You betcher boots I did! I ALWAYS manage to catch a break. [Ogami] Most of my work's one big battle only until the play starts. After that, all I have to do is clean the seats. Wait, you have to clean the entire seating area, too? On top of taking tickets and shepherding those wacky and lovable and highly violent pilots? Good GOD, man, I hope he's at least getting dental for all of this. ---- [Ogami] Huh? What's 'dental'? ---- ... oh, right, I forgot. 1920's Japan. [Kasumi]  Thank you for your hard work. I can help you with the cleaning, as well. Oh, how nice, she's a good person after all. [Kasumi] Ah, that's right. We've put up a poster for our current production, 'Cinderella'. Would you like to take a look at it? [Ogami] That's right... You can actually look at these posters? Huh, I totally overlooked that. Eh, why not.  "Llaredenci." ... Oh, right, "Cinderella." I keep forgetting that they kept writing horizontal text from RIGHT TO LEFT back in those days. [Ogami] A play with Sakura-kun and Maria as the main characters, huh... it looks like it's still pretty well-received. [Kasumi] Heheheh... that's true, isn't it. Sakura-san's also mostly gotten used to it as well. Moving from "looking at the poster" to "chatting." [Kasumi] Ah, that's right... this play is really popular with the guests! [Ogami] Really? That's good to hear. [Kasumi] Maria-san's Prince and Sakura-san's Cinderella make a romantic duo... Kohran-san as the mean stepsister and Sumire-san as the evil stepmother were also a perfect fit. [Ogami] That's certainly true. I think the casting was spot-on.  [Kasumi]  Even if the present is filled with hardship... that someday, a prince of your own will one day come to greet you... [Ogami] Kasumi-kun.....  As far as pickup lines go, that wasn't half-bad for Ogami. GO GET HER, TIGER.  [Ogami] Could I... become that prince?  [Kasumi] But... if you replace Maria-san, the fans wouldn't keep quiet... [Ogami] N, no... I didn't mean it like that? [Kasumi] Yes? We were talking about the part of the prince, weren't we? Was there something else? [Ogami] .... no, don't worry about it.  His heart shattered into a trillion pieces, Ogami took his leave of the office. Well, there's only one place to find enough alcohol to drink off your rejection:  To the Manager's Office! [Ogami] .... I wonder if the Manager's in his room. I guess I'll try asking him about Maria. Sure, why not? While you're here  Skipping the usual "it's Ogami, may I come in," "Oh, c'mon in," "Please excuse me".  ---- [Ogami] .. could you just pass me a drink, sir? [Yoneda]  What? No! For shame, Ogami. You ain't allowed to drink on the job, you said so yourself! [Yoneda]  'Sides, it'd be giving you some well-deserved respite from the hell your life's become, and we can't be havin' any of THAT! Now go lick the toilets clean. And when you get back, I'mma kick you in the balls. [Ogami] But-- [Yoneda] INNA BALLS. ---- [Ogami] No.... I just wanted to ask a little about Maria.  [Ogami] Yes....  While I'm certain that I'll get some drunk-rear end pointers on Maria's type of guy, this IS our chance for some wonderful backstory. [Ogami] She was saying something about dreams of her past... would you happen to know anything about Maria's past? [Yoneda] .... has Maria told you anything about it? [Ogami] No... nothing at all. [Yoneda] In that case... there's nothing I can say. You go get Maria to tell you herself. Even if it takes some time... [Ogami] I see...  [Yoneda] For the person who's worryin', the only thing that the people around her can do is to quietly watch over her. An' about those kinds of worries... there's no other way but to resolve them by oneself. Well. While my estimation of the man has risen, it really sucks that he's not nearly drunk enough to tell all.  [Ogami] I understand. Now then... please excuse me here. ... and nothing of value was gained. NEXT TIME: Fanservice, Fanservice x 2, and BRICK-making GBS threads HORROR. Spirit Armor fucked around with this message at 07:19 on Dec 7, 2012 |
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Sep 20, 2007 04:50
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Spirit Armor posted:NEXT TIME: Fanservice, Fanservice x 2, and BRICK-making GBS threads HORROR. Well, that sounds promisi- ...wait, how is that any different from most updates? Anyway, good to see you back from your trip to probationville and, indirectly, 4chan you poor poor sod. I'm not going to ask why you ended up bringing that gif back, since you were good enough to post an update; I'll just think of it as a souveneir. The kind you give to people you hate. Why do you hate us? (So who wants to take guesses as to what Maria's depressing past is? I'm guessing she has a dead lover who was killed by the Hive of Darkness when one of them mistook him for a food stand during one of their weekly park raids; either that or an accident with the Koubu.)
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Sep 20, 2007 05:09
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BlondRobin posted:(So who wants to take guesses as to what Maria's depressing past is? I'm guessing she has a dead lover who was killed by the Hive of Darkness when one of them mistook him for a food stand during one of their weekly park raids; either that or an accident with the Koubu.)
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Sep 20, 2007 05:25
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Betcha a nickel her lover ended up on the wrong side of the steampunk Russian Revolution. Or the right side, but got killed anyways. Or Maria was on the wrong side, and he was on the right side, and she had to shoot him? Or... Well, something about the Revolution, anyways.
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Sep 20, 2007 05:29
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Iris gains power through the fear of her observers. Since nobody in the theater is really afraid of her, I guess she's taking it out on us. FIRST PLACE IN OGAMI'S HEART 
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Sep 20, 2007 05:58
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Morgenthau posted:Fortunately for us Sakura Wars is meant for general consumption so there are none of those types of mindfuckery in the series. Ah, yes. The one who responds to every (perceived or otherwise) slight by punching our hero into the stratosphere. That's what we were missing. And she's the 'friendliest' one. Of course, the OP's done a fairly good job of not pissing off any of the ladies so far(even having a shower scene which surprisingly DIDN'T result in the girl assuming the hero was a perv and beating the utter piss out of him), so I don't know if any of them break out the armor-piercing slap or giant mallet out of nowhere when sufficiently offended.
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Sep 20, 2007 06:36
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Spirit Armor posted:Number one is... number one is... Iris is No.1? Let's sabotage this with a quick inadvertent yet deliberate trip to the Iris' bath!  .... as a last resort. And holy poo poo, I don't think I have gotten all of my girls happy in one go like you did, Spirit Armor. Did you slip something in their Koubu air filters? And why can't we get buy those cool-rear end fans Tsubaki has behind the counter?
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Sep 20, 2007 06:39
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Spirit Armor posted:[Tsubaki] Wait a sec. Isn't 50 sen like, half a yen? Even for 1923, no wonder the theater is losing money.
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Sep 20, 2007 07:06
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BlondRobin posted:(So who wants to take guesses as to what Maria's depressing past is? I'm guessing she has a dead lover who was killed by the Hive of Darkness when one of them mistook him for a food stand during one of their weekly park raids; either that or an accident with the Koubu.) Swap lover for parents and you've got my vote.
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Sep 20, 2007 07:37
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BlondRobin posted:Well, that sounds promisi- Uh.... ... WAY TO TAKE ALL THE MAGIC OUT OF MY UPDATES, MAN. BlondRobin posted:Anyway, good to see you back from your trip to probationville and, indirectly, 4chan you poor poor sod. I'm not going to ask why you ended up bringing that gif back, since you were good enough to post an update; I'll just think of it as a souveneir. The kind you give to people you hate. Why do you hate us? I don't hate you guys! In fact, I love you guys, just like how Yoneda loves Ogami by showering him with taunts, brain breaking torment, and many instances of work-related abuse.  Glazius posted:FIRST PLACE IN OGAMI'S HEART I'm as confused as you are. I haven't even been paying that much attention to Iris, and I certainly haven't been focusing on her or showering her with praise or anything like that. ... I'm beginning to suspect foul play. Or perhaps the iron will of Iris herself is...  Wyvernil posted:Of course, the OP's done a fairly good job of not pissing off any of the ladies so far(even having a shower scene which surprisingly DIDN'T result in the girl assuming the hero was a perv and beating the utter piss out of him), so I don't know if any of them break out the armor-piercing slap or giant mallet out of nowhere when sufficiently offended. Ogami apparently has many techniques at his disposal, techniques that allow him to get away scot-free from the backlash that this kind of tomfoolery should, by all rights, slap him with. Morgenthau posted:And holy poo poo, I don't think I have gotten all of my girls happy in one go like you did, Spirit Armor. Did you slip something in their Koubu air filters? It's a side-effect of delving into FAQs to see if I haven't been missing any epic scenes and/or CGs. I mean, hell, I wouldn't have been able to showcase the Sumire bath scene if it weren't for that. Morgenthau posted:And why can't we get buy those cool-rear end fans Tsubaki has behind the counter? Because the theater's sales department is full of utter dicks who prohibit selling anything bigger than a bromide to theater employees, probably. Grunduggerer posted:Wait a sec. Isn't 50 sen like, half a yen? Even for 1923, no wonder the theater is losing money. .... on the plus side, employee discount rates seem to kick inordinate amounts of rear end.
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Sep 21, 2007 04:42
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Well, let's hit the baseme- MY BODY  I-IT'S MOVING ON ITS OWN  TOWARDS THE BATHS If anyone asks, we'll just call it a routine maintenence check or something. Let's see now-  [Ogami] Nn.... Kohran?  [Ogami] It's coming from inside the baths!! Something's happened!  What? REALLY? Astounding!  Same difference. Just get to it! [Ogami] Kohran, I'm coming to save you!! Have you ever wondered how much time Ogami could save if he didn't bother narrating this kind of stuff beforehand? Like, doing away with the whole "Oh, I'm standing in front of X's room" and "I wonder if X is in?" stuff ALONE could totally save hours and hours of time. Anyways, it's time to go see Kohran nake-  poo poo. Kohran's mad dabbling in the inner workings of the universe have transformed her into some kind of sudsy, bubbly monstrosity. [Kohran]  Ah, Ogami-han... my "Mr. Laundry" machine's gone berserk... There's gotta be a switch somewhere on Mr. Laundry"- please, jes' find it an' stop him... [Ogami] I got it! I'll get you out of there soon, Kohran!! (First... I've got to do something about all these bubbles... there's nothing for it, I've got to clear them by hand!)  Kohran may or may not be somewhere in that pile of suds. Furthermore, she is either clothed in some manner, or completely naked. It is entirely possible that until we clear out the suds, Kohran is existing in both states at once: clothed and naked at the same time. ... good lord, it's like some dating sim version of Schrodinger's Cat. Or, since there are actual boobs involved.... Schrodinger's Puppies.  Well, better get moving before people start suffocatin' to death. And by 'people', I mean 'Ogami.' Shifting over to the right...  The... the machine is right in front of you. [Ogami] If I don't hurry up and stop the machine, it'll become a big mess.  The... the switch is ALSO right in front of you. [Kohran]  Ogami-han, it's right over there! Do yer best, jes' look fer the switch that'll get rid of all these bubbles... [Ogami] Right, I got it. I'll do my best!  Right, clearing away a little more gets you th-  No, no it's not, it's SWIPER THE FOX!!!  YES IT IS YOU MORON JUST HIT THE drat SWITCH ALREADY. [Kohran]  Didja find it?! If ya see a strange button, that's the right switch! How... utterly unhelpful. ---- [Ogami] Alright, you know what? Forget this, I'm out of here. Good luck escaping, Kohra- [Ogami] ... Kohran, what's that pressed up against my back? [Kohran] Oh, I jes' brought my good ol' rape machine down from my room fer a tunin'! It's voice-activated now. [Ogami] R... really. [Kohran] Well, yeah! I mean, all I gotta do is say th' magic words, an' it'll start right up again! Jes' a quick "every nook and--" [Ogami]  OKAY, OKAY, I AM PRESSING THE BUTTON NOW. ---- [Ogami] In that case, this is it... I've got to hit the off-switch!  The bottom switch. The top switch will probably flood the entire theater and destroy most of Ginza in a bubbly, cleansing tsunami of suds. [Ogami] Kohran! I'm pressing the switch now!  [Kohran] I'm countin' on ya, Ogami-han!! [Ogami] Alright! This should end it!!   [Kohran] I'd rather not get drowned by somethin' like a wave of bubbles. I gotta hurry and turn off th' steam-power an-  Well, there go the suds. [Ogami]  Ah...... I've said it once, and I'll probably keep saying it until I run out of Sakura Wars games to LP, but... god, I love that expression. "I CAAAAAAAAAME BUCKETS!!"   So... the cat WAS alive inside Schrodinger's drat box. Marvelous! 'Course, we all know how this's going to end: [Kohran]  Kyaaaaaa!! Ogami-han, ya pervert----!! Predictably...  ----  ... and violently. No, this is not a CENSORED screen.  Yes. I'm SURE you're sorry for the chance to deal yet more physical damage to our poor, befuddled protagonist. [Ogami] No, it's alright. Just as long as you're unharmed, Kohran.  [Kohran]  Here now... I gotta go. Mr. Laundry's busted up, so... You're going to FIX that vicious murderer of a laundry machine?! [Kohran] Seeya, Ogami-han. Thanks a lot fer today. Seriously, nothing happened in the baths. At all. And with that, Kohran takes her leave. Ogami does, as well!  Weeeeeell, I think Ogami could use a  ... oh, gently carress. But hey, this is good enough compensation for Ogami's-- [Ogami]  Alright, let's get started! Aaaaand we've just witnessed the fastest clothes-changing sequence in the history of mankind.  ----  Oh. Good. It's... it's just a speedo. ... no wonder Sumire's doing her best to look off to the side. [Ogami]  Let's start by practicing butterfly kicks again today. [Sumire]  Then, Ensign, please be sure to support me firmly. [Ogami] I got it. In that case...  ... He looks so eager.  But alas, common sense must prevail here. [Ogami] Here, I'll hold your arms. [Sumire]  Thank you very much, Ensign. As expected, it was right of me to rely on you. It's not like no one else in the theater WOULDN'T be smart enough to help hold your arms while you practice how to kick. ... except, perhaps, for Kohran, who might... well, you know. [Ogami] Right, you're doing well! That's right... feel that movement from your thighs... ...  [Sumire] Yes, Ensign! Time passes.  [Ogami] There's no need to be impatient. You've definitely improved, even if only by a little bit.  [Sumire] Ensign, I'll leave it up to you for the next time, as well. I shall be waiting at the pool once more. [Ogami] Aah, I got it. Let's do our best next time too. [Sumire] Now then, Ensign, I shall excuse myself here. And that's that. Now, for a journey to the second floor, where one major thing has changed:  ... Ogami has a new next-door neighbor.  The only possible next-door neighbor who can give Ogami a run for his money in the pimping department. The only woman in the theater with enough raw sex appeal to turn Ogami into a drooling, stuttering mess. The one, the only, the finger blowjob woman...  ... Ayame Fujieda. [Ayame]  Oh my, if it isn't Ogami-kun. As we'll be neighbors from here on out... my best regards. Little does Ayame know that Ogami's already drilled a number of peepholes into her room.  [Ayame] ... come to think of it, this is the first time we've formally spoken, right, Ogami-kun? [Ayame]  There are quite a few things that I would like to know about you, Ogami-kun, so... shall we talk for a little while? ---- [Ogami] Yes, let's. [Ayame] ... while I have to commend you for the sheer SPEED with which you got naked, Ogami-kun.... I'm afraid that that's not really what I meant. [Ogami] Awwwwww. [Ayame] Wha- and you're clothed again. My god, how DO you do it? [Ogami] I... I'm not really sure. I think it might be a defense mechanism I've picked up from living in close proximity with Stalkura and Kohrape for so long. ---- [Ogami] Ah... yes.  Well, now we won't have to bug Maria for an analysis of our fighting style. [Ogami] In that case, could I hear your thoughts regarding our last battle, Ayame-san? [Ayame] Diligent as always, Ogami-kun. Hmm... alright. Let's see... Warning: massive walls of dialogue ahead, etc. [Ayame] In the last fight, you were able to safely protect Imperial Capital Tower from harm. If there had been just a little bit more damage to it, the Imperial Capital's lines of communications would have suffered a great deal of damage. As the brigade's captain, Ogami-kun, your command was quite admirable. Do your best to keep up this good work, okay? Hey, Ogami's got to be good at SOMETHING, to make up for him being a gigantic dork. [Ogami] ... y, yes! Thank you very much! [Ayame] Hmmm.... that's all for the battle's results. Now, about the damage taken... Well, what little damage the Flower Division took was nigh-insignificant. Very good work, Ogami-kun. This means that your level of concern for your group members and your judgement were both correct. ... I love how she glosses over the hideous amount of damage that Maria took AND how I'd rendered Sumire almost completely useless. I guess she's just afraid to try and pin anything on Ogami, though, what with the fact that she'd nearly blown my entire loving brigade to Atlantis with that little aerial bombardment thing of hers. [Ogami] ... y, yes! Thank you very much! [Ayame] Because much of Shiba Park was on elevated terrain, your movement was restricted, but... You handled Kohran's first sortie well, and I believe that the directions you gave to the brigade members were also correct. Man oh man, the good news just doesn't stop coming, does it? [Ayame] Aah, come to think of it.... Ogami-kun.... it's about Iris. ... [Ogami] About Iris... you say? [Ayame] You know... Iris is really still just a child.  ... Wait, why's she telling me this?! O-oh god. Oh god no. She thinks I'm-- good GOD. No. That's... that's such a horrible thought-- She's probably already called the... no. No. NO. It's over. LOVE IS OVER. EVERYTHING IS OVER. EVERYTHING--  AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHSLKJDFKLJALJSFL  YOU'LL NEVER PUT ME BEHIND BARS!! ........... ....... .... .. . [Ogami] I... know that. [Ayame] Oh.... really? YES, REALLY. SHE'S FREAKIN' NINE YEARS OLD AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT SHE KEEPS HITTING ON ME. NOW STOP INSINUATING THAT I'D--[Ayame] Ogami-kun, you've never raised a child before, correct? ... buh? [Ogami] Th, that's correct! Come to think of it, why's Ogami so defensive and nervous...? I mean, it's not like he'd-- ----  ---- ... oh. Right. [Ayame] Children are.... well, Ogami-kun, they can be really perceptive about the most unexpected of things. [Ogami] ..... is that so? I have no goddamn clue what you're trying to get at, woman. Did you call the party van, or did you not? [Ayame] .... Ogami-kun. You might be at a loss with what to do about that child, but... Oh, no, I'm not at a loss at all. I know for a fact that I intend to avoid her for as long as humanly possible. [Ayame] Whenever you come in contact with her, please don't forget that you were once a child as well, long ago... alright? ... man. Just think about all the awesome advice I could have been getting right now if I'd had Maria or Sumire or Kohran as my top girl. [Ogami] Hah... I understand.  Thankfully, we can now drop that particular conversation. [Ayame] .... have you become used to the Ginza base? Wha? OH, you're talking about the theater, aren't you. [Ogami] (Huh...? On Ayame's collar, those are...) [Ogami] (... a first lieutenant's rank insignia! That's right, I wonder why haven't I noticed that until now?) Probably because you've been fantasizing about her sucking on your finger, and because you've been staring at her breasts this entire loving time? Okay, granted, we've ALL been staring at her breasts the entire time because of how the dialogue window's placed, but that's besides the point. [Ayame] ... Ogami-kun? [Ogami] .... y, yes, Vice Commander Fujieda? That's right... so this room has been the vice commander's room this whole time, hasn't it. [Ayame] Fufufu, it doesn't sound right if you call me 'vice commander.' "Ayame-san" is just fine, Ogami-kun. [Ogami] H... haah. [Ayame] So, Ogami-kun. ... how is it here at the Ginza base? Can you give me your honest impressions? [Ogami] Uh..... um....  You don't get much more honest than THIS. [Ogami] Being a ticket taker's hard work... it feels like working at the theater's my true occupation.... [Ayame] *chuckle*..... Ogami-kun, you say some fairly amusing things, don't you. Well, this IS a theater, so it may be true that working for the stage will keep you busier than actually fighting. ... I knew it. I've been gypped. [Ayame] Ah.... right, right, I'm supposed to be writing a collection of reports to send to Lieutenant General Yoneda, so... [Ogami] .... a collection of reports? [Ayame] Yes, we've been collecting and filing an assortment of information regarding those of you in the Flower Division. This is an important aspect of my work. [Ogami] .... is that so. [Ayame] What we've just been talking about... I'll also be making a very accurate report on it. [Ogami] Ah... y, yes. Best of luck with that. That said, Ogami fled the room with almost indecent haste. NEXT TIME:  ... SON OF A BITCH. Spirit Armor fucked around with this message at 07:26 on Dec 7, 2012 |
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Sep 21, 2007 04:52
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Oh look, Kohran flashed a little skin. Maybe now all the mindless drones will throw their votes her way instantly.
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Sep 21, 2007 05:19
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Sindai posted:Oh look, Kohran flashed a little skin. Maybe now all the mindless drones will throw their votes her way instantly. Come now, you know as well as I do that boobs are behind every decision made by every man ever. They make the world go 'round.
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Sep 21, 2007 05:29
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Thanks to you and my imagination I now know what Kohran looks naked! And yet after calling you a pervert she gives you a coy smile, as if she liked it?  quote:It's a side-effect of delving into FAQs to see if I haven't been missing any epic scenes and/or CGs. I mean, hell, I wouldn't have been able to showcase the Sumire bath scene if it weren't for that. Strangely enough, I use FAQs for my Sakura Wars plays as well. Maybe The reason I don't get perfect is my habit of visiting all the shower scenes in each chapter. v  v
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Sep 21, 2007 05:42
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Sindai posted:Oh look, Kohran flashed a little skin. Maybe now all the mindless drones will throw their votes her way instantly. I voted for Sumire before she showed off ...I just happened to like what I see when the show started!
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Sep 21, 2007 06:56
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Spirit Armor posted:Come now, you know as well as I do that boobs are behind every decision made by every man ever. Exactly why my vote is firmly behind Maria. Sumire's cleavage just hangs out there, but we won't get Maria's assets out from under that coat without some proper effort.
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Sep 21, 2007 07:51
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Spirit Armor posted:Come now, you know as well as I do that boobs are behind every decision made by every man ever. And Kohran's aren't swaying me. Sticking with Sumire. We've got more bikini-clad lessons to look forward to, too!
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Sep 21, 2007 08:20
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I'm still for Kohran but I'm weak for girls that can wipe out half of Tokyo with nothing more than a gleeful smile.
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Sep 21, 2007 08:43
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This update lacks soul devouring pain. I am registering a formal complaint!
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Sep 21, 2007 09:52
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