Kingdom of Loathing XIII: Jick hates this number and he hates you too

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Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

_{Sassy Pop Culture is the rule of the road in this satirical RPG!}

Welcome to yet another Kingdom of Loathing thread! Come join the revelry of another goon MMORPG presence!

Kingdom of Loathing is a satirical spin on the old story though, taking a real tongue in cheek approach to even its own existance. It makes fun of all facets of pulp culture, from movies like V for Vendetta and Harry Potter, books like Gravity's Rainbow, and heck, even itself on the rare occassion.

The Basics

The game is a browser-based RPG with faint MMO elements (buying, selling, trading, and now raiding), where you and your trusty familiar grind to level 13 and beat The Naughty Sorceress, the vilest villain in the kingdom. Once you beat her, you can retain most of your success (your familiars, your items, and your money, called "meat" in this game) and 'reset' the game by ascending as a level 1 in a new class with new features and abilities. The cycle of fun is infinite!

Starting a character

Much like traditional RPGs, there are three different basic styles of gameplay

Muscle classes - The Seal Clubber and Turtle Tamer best their foes by beating them senseless with large clubs and swords
- Seal Clubber - Your standard barbarian build. Focuses mainly on beating everything senseless which was made hard by a nerf. Also can club (demonic) seals.
- Turtle Tamer - More or less your standard shaman/knight tank build. Focused more on taking tons of damage. Can also tame turtles that can be used to make better armor.
Mysticality classes - The Pastamancer and Sauceror fry their enemies with nuclear spells and high energy discharges.
- Pastamancer - A bit more diverse than the Sauceror, he is able to inflict damage from any elemental source. They can call various pasta creatures in combat.
- Sauceror - Craftier than the Pastamancer, Saucerors are able to make and use powerful stat boosting potions.
Moxie classes - The Accordion Thief and Disco Bandit dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge around attacks while plinking away with ranged weapons and self-buffs
- Disco Bandit - Disco Bandits possess the ability to confuse weaken monsters in battle. Also quite the accomplished bartenders.
- Accordion Thief - Able to beguile enemies and friend alike with his music, the Accordion Thief kind of sucks for new players. _{With the right skills he's arguably the best class in the game.}

Avatar Classes - Special classes that don't play by the previous class rules.

Boris - Travel forth with your trusty bard Clancy as an avatar of the mightiest of the Warriors of Loathing in the Times of Old.
Jarlsberg - Currently not available.
Sneaky Pete - Currently not available.

Familiars

Familiars are this game's pets. Every player can have one out at a time, and there are a ton of "basic" familiars that every player can access, without hitting the jackpot or donating money. More complicated familiars are harder to get, but the basic familiar types involve increasing statgain, meatdrop (the game's currency), itemdrop, or combat-aid. Combat aid, while the most attractive to new players, is generally the most useless. You can get the best simple statgain familiar by fishing in the sewers for a few worthless gewgaws.
Just a quick reference so you don't think we're entirely crazy when we talk in terms like 1.0 fairy and 2.0 volley.

Volleyball - Easilly obtained, gives extra substats after a battle. Just get a volleyball and a seal tooth from the hermit. Use the seal tooth, use the volleyball, and you get the familiar.
Sombrero - The other stat gain familiar. Sombreros give extra substats based on its weight and the monster's level. A better choice for leveling in tougher areas.
Leprechaun - This familiar increases the amount of meat dropped after battle.
Fairy - Any time we talk about fairies, we're talking about familiars that improve item drop rates.

Generally the preference is item drop > stat gain > meat drop. However you're not going to see an item drop/stat gain combination familiar without a catch.

Potato - blocks enemy attacks. Also for the longest time was a really loving annoying bottleneck if you never got one.
Starfish - damages enemies while also restoring your MP. Some cynics might say its wrong to purposefully do nothing in combat for 20 rounds just so you can fully restore a character's MP. They would be very wrong.

There's also things called spleen familiars, which let you get more adventures for a counter that's otherwise useless.

Eating & Drinking & ...Spleening?

So you've started your character, and you find that only have 40 adventures to spend in a day? Well that sucks, but how are you going to experience more of this awesome content?

Well, in order to get more turns, you're going to have to eat and drink, and maybe spleen yourself to more stats and turns. There's a bit more to this, but just remember when the game tells you should stop drinking, stop drinking. (Unless you don't want to adventure until tomorrow)

You can gain a general sense of how many adventures a particular food or booze will give by looking at it's quality. The progression goes crappy [0,1] adventures/unit organ damage -> decent (1,2] ->good (2,3] -> awesome (3,5] -> epic (5+).

You can also improve the quality of your consumables by crafting with them. Practically, lets start off with an ordinary bottle of gin. Gin gives 3 adventures, but costs 3 inebriey. So it's labeled as crappy (1 adventure/inebriety or api). We mix in an olive and make a martini. Martinis on average give 5.5 adventures, but still cost 3 inebriety. So this means we're at 1.83 api, so it's labeled as decent. If we take this one final step further, we can garnish* our martini with a little paper umbrella and make a little sump'm sump'm. This fruity girl drink gives 12 adventures on average, but at the cost of 4 inebriety, so 3 api. This means it's good quality.

The eating system works pretty much the same way. Spleen is a mysterious counter that exists so people wouldn't use too many substat items in a day. Then it powercrept into adventure generation and then into familiar that give adventure granting spleen items.

_{*-You can't make this drink unless you learn the appropriate crafting skill, which is why people love Saucerors, Pastamancers, and Disco Bandits so much.}

Ascension? What's That?

Unlike most online games, KoL does have a fixed endpoint. You eventually level up, defeat the Naughty Sorceress, and you're done. Now there are things to do after beating the game, like clan dungeons ~~or the sea~~ ok maybe mostly clan dungeons and a few other challenges.

Well, once you're all done with whatever you want to do, you can go and bugger off the mortal coil and ascend to the halls of Valhalla. Whil you're there, maybe play a game of cards with some famous dead guys, chill, and then get bored and reincarnate.

The benefits of reincarnation are nice:

You are allowed to forever etch a skill into your skill sheet.
You keep all of your old familiars and items.
Exciting new areas that you've never seen before!
New play styles.
Special equipment and consumables to help you in the future.
Getting forever trapped in a cycle of beating this game so you know every goddamned skill in the game.

Well I signed up for this years ago and what's changed?
Chances are, quite a bit. You can take a look here for a chronological list of what's changed.

In 2007, NS13 was released. This was an overhaul of most class and familiar mechanics, while also adding 2 new story quests to the game.
In 2008, multiplayer dungeons were added.
In 2009, a revamped version of the Nemesis quest was released.
In 2010, the decision to revamp all of the old pre-NS13 quests and other lovely areas started. Here's the current progress:

Level 1

Level 2

Level 3

Level 4

Level 5

Level 6

Azazel, My Belle

Level 7

Level 8

Level 9

Level 10

Pirate's Cove

~~Hidden Temple~~
The Sea

In 2011, the ascension system was revamped and now we get new special challenge paths every 3 months. (February 15, May 15, August 15, November 15).
In 2012, chat got revamped and would be usable if not for the fact that it's chat.

Goooooooooooooooooooooooons
The SA clan is "The Protected". Once you are level 3 you can apply to the clan by visiting the Clan Recruiter in Seaside Town. Post here and one of the clan mods will accept you. IF YOU DO NOT APPLY IN THE GAME, WE WILL LAUGH AT YOU IN THIS THREAD.

Clan rules (seriously read this, no seriously, it's not that hard):

Don't take poo poo from the stash that you don't need. If you can't afford your own hell ramen, go nuts, take your fill every day- NOT for three days in advance. But if you take more than your share, or take stuff and sell it, you might get booted.
The clan (in the game) contains a few neat features that you should really learn about. On the "clan" page, you can scroll down to read the clan announcements. Also on this page, you can access our stash, our clan message board (for organizing raids, planning contests, and sharing pubbie-griefing schemes), and the rumpus room (aka free toys and free fun for all).

[*]We also have a fully stocked VIP room, complete with access to Faxbot (#2194132).
[*]~~In order to get access to the clan dungeons we need you to give us a Mr. Accessory so we can ensure the clan is the best-advertised.~~ Wait, we're not even that dickish.

This is fun!
It is, and if you really enjoy the game, you can donate

to the game devs via Paypal to get a Mr. Accessory, a highly decent item. The biggest advantage of the Mr. A, as it's called, is that it every month there is an "Item of the Month", that gives all sorts of ridiculous and unique laughs, like the Jewel hat, V for Vivala mask, and Wizard Action Figure (links at the top) Additionally, various goons are willing to sell the meat that they have accrued over their career at a better rate than the current market price. If you want to get more bang for your buck, give Sputnik a shout. (Other goons can be added to this list)

Chat
ALL of the public chat channels on KoL are terminally retarded. Try to avoid the idle idiot talk, unless you want to kill some brain cells. However, we have an

IRC channel (#protected on irc.synirc.net).

If you're too lazy to download a client, you can connect with mibbit. (Just click here!)

_{A typical day in /trade}
This is fun, but not for hours a day; good god!
The good news is that your account will never be deleted, so you can take a week off without having to worry about vacation mode or other goofy things. In the past, you needed to pay to have a Mr. Accessory to mark your account no-delete, but all newer accounts get it free. So your account from 2004 might not be around any more.

Additionally, if you find it a little fun, but not "stare at your monitor forever" fun, you may be interested in looking up Greasemonkey scripts to accelerate your browser mischief, or the botting program KoLMafia. KoLMafia automates adventuring for you, allowing you to avoid tedious repetition while still enjoying the game's content.

If you're feeling a bit more on the high-end side of botting, we also you recommend to take a look at KolProxy.

Sputnik fucked around with this message at Feb 13, 2013 around 23:26

# ¿ Aug 14, 2007 18:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 23, 2013 00:05

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

The Not-so-Basics

*Advice for newbies*
What is Ascension?
Common Acronyms used (not super important, may help remove the feeling that we all speak tongues)

Spoiler links:
Playing the game through with no spoilers is a lot more fun than reading a walkthrough right off the bat. If you get stuck, someone in the clan can give you advice. However, there are a billion spoilers out there if you want that kind of thing.
The KoL Wiki is the de facto place to learn things about the game
This calendar gives a summary of lots of daily changes.
This page ranks skills on awesomeness, as determined by the cutting edge pretentious folks.
Spoiler/Tips including the Strange Leaflet powerup words:
http://www.zerokelvin.org/kol.html

Free buffbots:
Buffs are useful, and a few big clans run philanthropic buff characters. Do a /whois in the chatpane to make sure they're online before you fire off your requests.

Buffy

(and to a lesser extent, Noblesse Oblige and IocaineBot)

You can't be buffed while you're adventuring, so it's best to hang around in KOL's in-game chat until you get the messages that they've cast the buffs on you.

Our Very own Goon-Only Bot:

Masamune (#1731037), the Smithbot and Smashbot (he will make weapons and armor, any type, for you, and he can even smash things apart for you, sometimes in the same step!) Down because we're retarded at coding and can't fix a memleak

_{Instructions:}

code:

Just send Masamune items you want smithed and/or wadded, and tell him so in the message.

For example, to make a bat-rear end leather jacket, send him 1 shirt kit, 1 bat leather and say "smith".

To have him then smash said item after it is made, say "smith powder". If you want him to combine what he gets out of it,
"smith [powder/nugget/wad]" with what you want him to combine up to. He'll comply the best he can - obviously if you send 
him the materials for the leather jacket and say "powder" you're still getting wads back.

If he can't smith stuff you send him he will just send it back.

If you just want stuff smashed, "wad" will do. Combined? "wad" or "nugget" will also combine the items you send.

If what you are sending to be smithed cannot be done by Innabox, it will cost an adventure. 
The bot will only let you use 10 of its adventures a day. It will not attempt to smith your items 
if it thinks doing so would put you over your allotment for the day, or if it simply doesn't have enough adventures.

You have to be in the clan or on the clan whitelist to use the bot.

Things that you may want to know:

What is "Multi Abuse"? Since this is free game, the team running the show has defined "Multi Abuse" as being anything you do that gives another account you own an unfair advantage. This involves things like swapping gear, giving meat to your "main", and even buying from your main's store. Will you get caught? Maybe. If you do, some, or all, of your accounts will be deleted. Synraak said it best,

Synraak posted:
This quasi-rule about multi-abuse sounds a lot like reality in reference to the police... Passable infractions that are usually looked over can still screw you over if you're caught by the wrong person, on the wrong day, at the wrong time. Risk vs. convenience.

so play your own odds.
What the gently caress is "baleeted," and why do people carry it around like a flag of honour? It's the same thing as /ignore, and in KOL, if you push a button in your store, you can keep them from giving you their precious precious meat for items! Oh boy!
What is "KMail?" KMail is the in-game private message system (not instant messages via the chat pane and the /msg command, but via the MESSAGES link through the top bar). This is how you send meat to buffbots for insanely cheap buffs. Remember, only 3 Accordion Thief buffs at once. (Conversely, /msgs are sent through the chatpane, and are "/msg name messagecontents" Spaces in names get converted to underscores in this mode)
I don't mean to sound all pretentious or anything, but this KoL market is about as mentally challenged as my disabled brother. Yeah, we know. You can make bajillions of meat selling to stupid people right after new content is released. If the new content involves some sort of puzzle or mental trickery, being the first on the case can mean you make millions.
This is fun, but I want to help! And we want you to as well! The biggest items of note in our clan stash are the Disco Bandit drinks, and Super Salads. If you've got spare booze components, scrumptious reagents, dry noodles or hellion cubes, you can toss them in the stash and when one of the mods gets bored we'll mix/cook them into delicious delicious high end products.
There are a TON of dishonest people in KoL. Use the trade function, not normal messages - unless it's a fellow goon, they may try to scam you. Trustbot, which is always called into play when trying to "sell" items of questionable rarity, is generally a better indicator of who NOT to trust than any judge of worthy character. Also, don't be like Tripwood and send a real astral badger when you were trying to sell a stuffed one.
BUY A STORE. DO IT. Players should buy mall stores as soon as they hit level 9. If a player doesn't have the 50,000 meat, he or she can ask one of those helpful people or the IRC channel for a loan, which the player will easily be able to pay back WITHIN AN HOUR OR TWO. Also note that mall stores are not removed, closed, or otherwise affected by ascension.

Goon Help
Here are a few goon names in-game you can harass for quick helps, tips or aid. In chat, you can type "/whois name", without the quotes, to see if they are online or not (it will tell you what channels they are in, if any). Otherwise, you could just KMail them if you don't see them online.
*Sputbot
*Xaax
*kurai
*Very Flash
*BenMears
*Yuros
*TonyV

Here are some more specific tips:

There are many items, passive skills, and equipment to increase item drop. This is a good thing.
Gaining stats is what you want to do. It is the PRIMARY and ESSENTIAL way to progress through the game. Your blood-faced volleyball will be a godsend for your first dozen or so ascensions. Don't ever discount bonus experience.
Don't steal 30 chow mein and 30 scrumptious reagent potions just because "you're going into Ronin." NOT COOL AND YOU WILL GET SLAPPED FOR IT.
Don't do a Hardcore Oxygenarian run as your first ascension. Play it smart - ease into Hardcore, if you're looking for a challenge. Your first HCO run can be upwards of sixty days of pain and boredom.
Mushroom Mushroom! (Gloomy Mushroom plot instructions!)
Have fun. It is a game, after all.

New Content
Other than long-term investment in Mr. Accessory Items of the Month, the best way to make meat is by exploiting the lust for new content. If a new zone opens or a new item is discovered, farming up these items to sell in the mall at offensive markup can earn you 10-30 million ($20-60 worth of American dollars if you bought the Mr. As and sold them) in under a day! Of course, the best advice and the best info is always circulating around our irc room.

Currently Relevant:

Here's a Greasemonkey script to get the best possible score in Dungeon Fist! (23,800 and 30 tickets)

Sputnik fucked around with this message at Sep 4, 2011 around 13:24

# ¿ Aug 14, 2007 18:21

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

whoredog posted:

Is the fortune cookie/semi rare counter something that is used by everybody with more brains than me?

I don't use it, but I've been too busy grinding to floor 500 to care.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2007 20:09

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Tabby, I'm sorry I'm really bad at the internet. If you ever come to Northern Ontario, I owe you a drink or two.

Sputnik fucked around with this message at Aug 16, 2007 around 03:56

# ¿ Aug 16, 2007 03:14

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

By the way Tabby, since we know you're watching: The image is a photoshop.

You still have all your swag.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2007 17:40

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Yawgatog posted:

Mine wasn't. Ahahahahahahaha!

That's because you're actually a jerk.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2007 21:30

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

pseudosavior posted:

I have to do this whole Bad Moon thing.

Does anyone know if you can go from one Bad Moon ascension directly into another Bad Moon ascension, or is there some new manner of horrible and retarded time-wasting poo poo that you have to do first?

Since BadMoon is a nonclovered HC run, you can link them together to your sadistic heart's content.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2007 22:53

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

DanoBaka posted:

reapplied as danosenpai because you booted me out for some reason <>

Yeah, we* did this whole inactives wipe a while back. I'm actually going to suggest that we don't do this from now on - those of us who have Mr. As can lurk around in the clan, and those that don't can get deleted for inactivity. We don't do clan PVP, we don't buy clan buffs, and we aren't in a race to tighten our numbers, so there is no benefit to culling the herd.

_{*not me}

# ¿ Aug 17, 2007 15:51

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Shiro Sirius posted:

Has there been any official explanation for the (almost) two months without Tuesday updates, or are the dev team still "tired out" from NS13?

It's Tuesday! was a precursor to NS13, so that minor changes could, to paraphrase the wiki, lube our assholes for the pleasant raping to come.

Seeing as how lazy Jick + co can truly get (oh poo poo, it's Sneaky Pete's again? Should we do something?), I can't see It's Tuesday! or the travelling trader coming back.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2007 00:40

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

McSharpie posted:

K-mail me in game (BenMears) and I'll send you a Mr. Store item you can hold onto over rollover, which will give your account no-delete status.

His account is craig588

# ¿ Aug 20, 2007 13:46

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

glug posted:

I haven't been playing for a few weeks, and decided to pop on and futz around. I've never done a basement run, but at level 18, I figured it can't be too bad.

How the gently caress do I not take 500 damage from the elemental tests? I'm up to level 27, and it's already been hard getting up here, but now I don't think I have nearly the resistance I need in equipment to get past this one..

Orange peel hat, badass leather jacket, titanium umbrella, battered hubcap, plexiglass pinky ring, buffs (astral shell, scarysauce, elemental saucesphere).

Quaff a phial of <element>, but be careful which one you do - the wrong element will just double the damage you take (ie: if you had spooky and cold as the element tests...which one do you want to quaff?)

Additionally, give yourself more hp with blood of the wereseal and other buffs (Smile of Mr. A, candy, rage of the reindeer, shanty of superiority, etc).

# ¿ Aug 20, 2007 18:44

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

craig588 posted:

Edit: The carnivore button's a 0 karma item, I'll just send it to the op and he could make up some contest to let someone win it or whatever.

We could use more squid vs robot bitmap drawings for our clan homepage.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2007 02:12

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

craig588 posted:

I think I'll still give it away to the op to do something with, without the clan I wouldn't have the account anyways.

No, don't worry about it.

1) Sputnik isn't a goon account
2) You found it, you earned it.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2007 02:23

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Alright, well, craig588 has graciously donated to me the C.A.R.N.I.V.O.R.E. button to do with as I please, and I could do something lame like buying some hell ramen with it to feed our collective maws, but that'd be the cop-out answer, and we all know that. So, a contest!

Since we had robot vs squid bitmaps for our last contest (results can still be seen here), let's change it up a little

It's a Contest!
Due Date: September 1st
Prize: One C.A.R.N.I.V.O.R.E. Button, worth roughly half a million easy squeezy meat at time of posting!
What you need to do:
Draw a picture of a dinosaur fighting IN OUTER SPACE What he's fighting is up to you. Priority will be given to awesome drawings and MSPaint. Leave your copy of Photoshop CS3 xXx and your $1500 WACOM tablet at home for this one, kids. Less effort = more awesome

_{Thanks for the donation, craig588}

# ¿ Aug 22, 2007 02:42

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Posted on behalf of McSharpie / BenMears:

# ¿ Aug 22, 2007 04:16

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

m2pt5 posted:

Another good trigger I like to use is - 'Whenever I get Beaten Up, use 1 tiny house.' (If you have the skill, Tongue of the Walrus works, too.) That way, if you happen to get beaten up, but you have an effect that heals you after every adventure, Mafia won't gently caress you over by continuing to adventure with reduced stats. Similar triggers for A Little Bit Poisoned, Somewhat Poisoned, and Really Quite Poisoned to use an anti-anti-antidote are useful as well in some areas, such as the Sleazy Back Alley and the Upper Chamber.

And uneffect Teleportitis is a godsend so you don't get

raped by a quantum mechanic sending you to get overdrunk at the tavern.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2007 21:54

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Eggbert Shoots Fire posted:

I'm NML Manticore (#29041), can I get a whitelist so I can at least visit?

You have to promise not to use your mod powers to hurt us, though.

edit: And you can't tell Boozerbear what we think of him.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2007 00:05

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

PirateZim posted:

pff gently caress that tell boozerbear we think he's a pompous dick who gets preferential treatment from the devs because he strokes their e-dicks and he's singlehandedly responsible for the lovely economy of the game.

And Voivod's full of himself too. Don't forget that.

Anyways, it appears that Otori week is starting/has started/will start at some point. I can't see any posts in the Contests forum about big prizes, but there are already giveaways in chat rooms such as /games and /trade, so if you've got time to spare, it may be worth it to lurk for a while.

# ¿ Aug 27, 2007 15:31

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

tripwood posted:

Any artistic goons in the clan?

http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com...pic.php?t=85582

Have a chance to win over 100k meat easily, a great starter for new accounts. I'll even toss in more meat if it's made by someone from SA!

Didn't take long for Voivod to swing in and be a smarmy rear end in a top hat. I guess that guy really does lurk Contests, stroking his microcock.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2007 19:52

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Shanty posted:

Well I could pretty much slap any face on there so do you just want a regular AT face? Remember, that does mean you lose out on the shifty eyes! Well I guess you could still have those, but they don't get much shiftier than goofball guy!

Oh and I have like six million million meat on my account so just put something in the clan stash if you end up using it, or whatever.

Edit: How's this

My wacom's already packed up for the move, otherwise I'd just do this myself, but here's a few suggestions on faces that might look good:

A Gnu gnome face (scaled down) that smirks a little.

A Smart skeleton face where maybe the glasses shift a little (sorry tripwood, I'm just assuming that you're a goonish 350lbs and wear glasses)

A scaled down trippy floating head, with maybe a sparkle in their eye.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2007 14:22

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

tripwood posted:

Oh man, Vovoid is a real little forum hitler. Check out the thread and this PM:

What a major league jerk! And he mods forums meant for Hearts to frolic in.
I don't really give a poo poo though I'll just make a multi forum account if I want to post in contests.

Shanty, I'm going to buy that avatar today but could I bother you to ask to make it have a transparent background? That'd be perfect.

I'll buy a shitload of noodle dishes for the stash in thanks.

Voivod is awesome, you take back your slander

edit: And "consider yourself banned" on a public forum is about as effective as posting a 100line Ascii frowny face.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2007 21:42

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

It's a few minutes before rollover on the last of August, so I have sent out the CARNIVORE button to Casnorf for making a majestic picture of spacedinocombat. Congrats!

# ¿ Sep 1, 2007 02:48

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

lecherousjester posted:

So what the hell is Omphaloskepsis?

Based on the wiki discussion, it seems to be the Mayflower bouquet of items. Randomly boosts a generic ability.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2007 15:21

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Chococat posted:

I blame this on Sputnik taking over the first post of this thread.

And I've been dumping all my turns in the sign gyms, other than lucre. Once I get up to the mid 20s I'll probably start basementing again. I just haven't had a lot of time to play KOL lately, with school starting and me being rather tired of the heart scene at the moment.

I moved to a place that didn't get an internet technishun for about two weeks. Literally minutes ago, the internet was turned on, and here I am. I'll try to post inane commentary sporadically to bump the thread.

Today's tip: The IOTM sucks, but early October will be a cash cow for Mr. As!

# ¿ Sep 13, 2007 21:36

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Rikkmeister posted:

I recently completed my first ascension (as a Seal Clubber), and moved onto oxygetarian hardcore. Is there a way for me to gain more than 40 adventures / day? Because with 40 / day, this will go slow

Come ooooooon, this is in the first post!

THE FIRST POST posted:

Don't do a Hardcore Oxygenarian run as your first ascension. Play it smart - ease into Hardcore, if you're looking for a challenge. Your first HCO run can be upwards of sixty days of pain and boredom.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2007 19:31

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Vorxnyx posted:

Guys, this IotM isn't bringing in NEARLY enough money! Must pump it up until people give me more money! Must sustain World of Warcraft habit!

I'm not going to lie, this is exactly how I interpretted that post as well.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2007 02:07

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Tabby, jump on this. Or someone else. If you love huggles, sign up.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2007 00:45

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

<<The Something Awful clan was forged in the fires of drama, underneath the mountain of terror. Clan Leader after Clan Leader was sacrificed upon the altar of shame and subterfuge until one was found who was so apathetic as to be nearly inert. Under his benevolent if worthless leadership, the clan flourished into what could tastefully be called "A Place for Farming Multies to Die." On a whole, NS13 has changed little about clan dynamics, except now there are fewer people pulling hell ramen from us each day. Our only claim to fame is that once upon a time, Jick called us "cool." We like to take long walks on the beach, and can often be found writing long-winded diatribes about how Bashy/Boozerbear/Voivod/Skullhead is a cockfag douche.>>

# ¿ Sep 27, 2007 21:39

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

laffo

ps: That's the same account that found the PYEC a month back.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2007 00:55

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Chococat posted:

I'm sure most of that is my doing.

I was aimlessly farming with tabby for a while and decided to do something RETARDED.

P.S. Sputnik and Jemmalen. Both of your clan histories are kind of lacking.

Most of out clan history is kind of lacking.

Addendum: We like IRC a lot, making meat, insulting pubbies, and running offensive contests. Just like every other goon game.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2007 12:30

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Viral Thorn posted:

Whoa. I was around when Boozer sold the last of his salty dogs and then quit playing. I guess he was just burnt out and picked it up again later, which is pretty awesome.

He now spends his days loving up the market, as one goon put it

quote:

It's like playing Age of Empires, except you cheatcode max gold and just gently caress with everyone else

# ¿ Oct 6, 2007 16:14

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Shiro Sirius posted:

Out of interest, how does he gently caress up the market?

I've noticed that he always seems to get about fifty IOTMs every time a new one comes out, but I've never really paid enough attention to the community to know any more.

If the market ever reaches a state that is deemed unpleasant (by his standards), he reserves the rights to manipulate it until it reaches his level of acceptance. This includes buying up old IOTMs that aren't at his level of worth (he'll buy them up until they reach his desired value), or selling his at a massive markdown, limiting purchases to 1/person.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2007 01:29

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Shiro Sirius posted:

Wow, in all the time I've played this game I honestly thought the level 10 quest only ended when you successfully used the map. Thanks, at least I know for the future now.

My outfit for the NS lair is called "YOU DON'T NEED THE PANTS, DOUCHE" because I made Star Pants for the first 25 runs. Including my HCO ones.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2007 03:38

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Kuroshi posted:

Any goons part of the KoL community and are planning on going to KoLumbus this weekend?

Let's....not call this a goon meet. Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please.

_{I think Chococat and medibot are dumb enough to go}

# ¿ Oct 30, 2007 02:35

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Riidi WW posted:

i want to give away one of my accounts, who has a good idea for a giveaway?

MSPaint X (fighting is done too much, perhaps "the most amazingly beautiful afternoon ever....UNDERWATER")

# ¿ Nov 7, 2007 02:00

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Robot Porn posted:

Nobody donates for holiday content. I don't understand what that has to do with it. Yeah, they're unprofessional and I guess I'm jealous that they get paid to do what is essentially a hobby for 3 hours a day. But this SSPD went off without any glitches, except for a curious lack of beads. That is some exceptional progress on their part.

P.S. I donate when I'm bored sometimes. I like to throw money away.

If you really think that Jick and Skully put in 3 hours of honest work each day of the month, then you need to get your head checked. Back when KoL started? I'm sure they put in 10 hours a day. But now? They're coasting on fumes of a prior legacy.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2007 23:24

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Yawgatog posted:

Sorry, we probably need to promote some fresh blood to Platinum (or whatever can let people in). I don't have a good idea who to bump up, so...someone else can do it.

:apathy:

The problem is that our ruling caste is mostly full of semi-retireds. If anyone has a reasonable and valid suggestion for new blood we should promote to a higher rank, I'm all ears.

(I took care of the outstanding applications to this point)

# ¿ Nov 30, 2007 01:43

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Sapper and tripwood, alongside CarbonBased, have been professionally demoted to goon administrivia. Congradumalations.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2007 05:49

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Sapper posted:

Cool beans. The only thing is, I'm in Bad Moon, so I won't be able to send out welcome packages. What all goes in to them again, anyway? I just had my main throw something like 18 BFVs in the stash at the end of the last BM run (way too many worthless trinkets collecting dust after spending a poo poo ton of time trying to get a stolen accordion out of the sewer)

I think the tower familiars, a BFV if they don't have one, 10 hell ramen (or maybe 5?), dead man's watch, and a heavy metal appropriate weapon. Pull what you need from stash resources, if you're up to taking up Davethulhu's forgotten post.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2007 21:48

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# ¿ May 23, 2013 00:05

Sputnik: Jul 21, 2003; I felt like a ninja, and my kung-fu was strong.

Cicadalek posted:

Is ZIRC down, or did it go somewhere else or something? I want to talk about the radio show.

We use synirc now.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2007 03:30

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Games > Kingdom of Loathing XIII: Jick hates this number and he hates you too

code:

Synraak posted:

whoredog posted:

Yawgatog posted:

pseudosavior posted:

DanoBaka posted:

Shiro Sirius posted:

McSharpie posted:

glug posted:

craig588 posted:

craig588 posted:

m2pt5 posted:

Eggbert Shoots Fire posted:

PirateZim posted:

tripwood posted:

Shanty posted:

tripwood posted:

lecherousjester posted:

Chococat posted:

Rikkmeister posted:

THE FIRST POST posted:

Vorxnyx posted:

Chococat posted:

Viral Thorn posted:

quote:

Shiro Sirius posted:

Shiro Sirius posted:

Kuroshi posted:

Riidi WW posted:

Robot Porn posted:

Yawgatog posted:

Sapper posted:

Cicadalek posted: