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garbage day
Jun 13, 2008

im lollin at you're trollin


Onkel Hedwig posted:

That's a good one.

About the actual update: can we please have screenshots that fit in a normal browser window? That one is 1868px wide!


ok cleaned up those screenshots for you. http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awf...nist-temple.php

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Speedboat Jones
Dec 28, 2008

Hey kid I'm a computer.



"Anime is my religion. I could die kill for it."
- John Keats

The Ape of Naples
Jul 24, 2007



How about this site?
http://www.bctamerica.com

It's a vanity music label or some such. I found them through a Craigslist add that promised "some pay".

It looks like it was designed by Blingee.

Be warned it has music and a video on the front page. The music is so bad that I almost don't mind. Terrible, poorly sung gospel.

There's a lot of promises of things "coming soon" in 2010.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Miyamotos RGB NES
Dec 31, 2000



I searched all of the Awful Links of the Day and did not see this one. It's so bad it's good.

Would be honorable to have a 2nd page I submitted over the past 13 years to actually get featured (my last one being the official Rap Snacks website back in 2000 or so).

I present to you: http://www.tornadoterrys.com/

The Family Fun Arcade where the rules are as difficult as navigating their site is:

quote:

TornadoTerrys t shirts are worth

$2.50 OFF regular admission!

Must wear shirt.
==========

NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINKS

No Exceptions
====================

Unfortunately the navigation menu requires Java to be installed and gently caress that I ain't installing that piece of poo poo again, but I recall the pages being hilarious.

Also I guess his sponsor's phone number changed but it's hard to tell this this high quality photoshop:

Angiepants
May 8, 2008


http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/columbine

Columbine fangirls. I really don't know what else to say.

duck hunt
Dec 22, 2010


A friend of mine sent me this link

https://www.teapartycommunity.com/

Tired of your political rants not getting enough "likes?"

Have you alienated everyone in your life with your foaming mouth political rage?

Can't help yourself from barging into peaceful discussions on wall posts?

There is a community for you, for real Americans like you.

FYI. I already made a Dick Cheney account, so don't try. I'm pretty sure that most major religious figures and republican party members are up for grabs though.

Astrofig
Oct 26, 2009
There were roving packs of female bandits who burn houses and farms they come across and kill the men they meet (and free the women) save for one---a mentally-retarded hulk they call Dog, who pulls their cart like a horse would (harness and the whole thing, only just a whip; he's too tall for a bit in the mouth) and serves as sex toy when they're bored.

How do you sign up? I was all ready to join up as Hitler and just go in and agree with everything but I can't figure out how to make a new account---the green button just dumps me back to the main page....

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012



I like that you can log into a facebook ripoff using your facebook account.

Speedboat Jones
Dec 28, 2008

Hey kid I'm a computer.


Astrofig posted:

How do you sign up? I was all ready to join up as Hitler and just go in and agree with everything but I can't figure out how to make a new account---the green button just dumps me back to the main page....

Supposedly you have to be invited by a current member.

duck hunt
Dec 22, 2010


I saw that the site went down after a DoS attack. Apparently the first attack was launched during the opening of the site, and all the gushing tea partiers missed a stream by the founder. The site owner made a statement about the attack on the front page. I was able to login briefly, to encourage my fellow American patriots from the helm of my Dick Cheney and Jesus Christ accounts before the site was again taken down by DoS. On my short visit I was delighted to see wedding pictures from a gay wedding with two men looking fawningly into each others eyes and the ensuing puke storm.

Now that the site has been brought back up. Apparently it is invite only. I'm also pretty sure that my IP has been blacklisted. The founder has been quoted saying that "It's going to be a rough ride fighting against the world," he said, "but we're not disappearing." He claims that he is the target of a coordinated assault by facebook and the leftist media. No joke. And that Teapartycommunity.com is a "safe haven" for conservatives. It is just so hard these days being an older white Christian male.

Apparently it is called "liberal censorship" to be gagged on Facebook for saying that you are going to kill the president for acts of treason or calling him a porch monkey friend of the family. I'm hoping that TPC can help siphon off some of the worst sludge from the toxic waste dump / environmental posting disaster area that is facebook. Maybe people can be left alone to resume posting stupid pictures of their food, pets, and kids without someone calling them a commie.

EE: Wow front page, TOOT! Looks like my IP is still banned. Here is THE TPC thread if you want to join George Soros and I. http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...40&pagenumber=1

duck hunt fucked around with this message at Mar 1, 2013 around 17:46

spouse
Nov 10, 2008


http://www.myreallifereviews.com/

Crazy cat lady reviews products for the home and everyday use. Read the Pyrex bakeware story to see how dramatic she is, and how her fans all suggest she "put this up on pinterest, so everyone can see"... It's reddit/tumblr social justice blogs done by christian old ladies, and it's hilarious.

dereekb
Nov 7, 2010

What do you mean "error"?


The "Bluestone's Erotic Death Fetish Community Board"


http://www.femmefatalities.com/phpBB3/

Found when a friend of mine linked a Google image of Halle Berry in Swordfish and the URL looked a little funny.

This is some Weekend Web type stuff:

http://www.femmefatalities.com/phpB....php?f=1&t=8032
http://www.femmefatalities.com/phpB....php?f=1&t=7975

dereekb fucked around with this message at Feb 13, 2013 around 19:41

Parahexavoctal
Oct 10, 2004
I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS.

http://www.lennonmurdertruth.com/

I usually feel bad about making fun of schizophrenics, and then they go and do poo poo like this. Gary Lightfoot's careful analysis of article headlines in Time, Newsweek, and US News and World Report from the months before John Lennon was killed 'reveals' that it was actually a sinister plot by Nixon, Reagan, and -- of all people -- Stephen King. Chapman was a patsy who was made to give a false confession, and also King was being manipulated by Chinese intelligence agencies. "Firestarter" was all an allusion to King standing there in a raincoat, shooting at Lennon, just like a giant cigarette lighter, and on and on and on. To support Lightfoot's crusade against Beatle-murdering novelists, buy his book!

the sky
Jul 25, 2007



http://ticklishblokes.com/



My finacée found this on the UK's craigslist equivalent, Gumtree, under job vacancies. The premise: get paid to turn up at a seedy hotel and be filmed in your underwear as the masturbation focus of some of the world's strangest fetishests; or else if you are such a fetishest, pay money to witness horrifically awkward videos of young men being tickled by an anonymised middle-aged stimulator.

As the listing describes it:

Ticklish Blokes posted:

Get tickled on camera for cash - we're starting a new website.

You don't need previous modelling experience, though being comfortable in front of a camera is a bonus. Students looking to make extra cash are welcome. It's not "adult"; there's no nudity, and you won't be asked to do anything other than get tickled (e.g. on your ribs, knees, feet). It's simple, fun, and only takes an hour (not constant tickling!). Ideal for cheeky students with a good smile. Successful models get excellent rates for an hour (£50+), so give it a go! Better rates than equivalent girl videos in the UK.

We can consider a short, paid audition if you're interested but unsure.

If interested, we can take a couple of brothers or friends at once for a tickle-dare. Take a look at our website to see how silly it is... it's only a laugh. Once again - no nudity/porn, though you should be at least 18, and ticklish. Please include your age and a description or picture. Looking for multiple guys, so what've you got to lose?

"Definitely no nudity, or anything sexual! Don't worry lads; take your clothes off and let me tickle you all over."

the sky fucked around with this message at Feb 15, 2013 around 17:40

MSPain
Jul 14, 2006

CALL PGM(SHTPST)


this web site seems to be entirely one big long form poem about a guy murdering his sister.

http://www.murderme.net/Murder_Me_I...rderMe.net.html

I have no clue, man.

Suspicious Dish
Sep 24, 2011



http://www.pumpthatpedal.com/

A paysite for people who want hot foot-on-pedal action

bagshotrow
Apr 23, 2011


http://terryallenjones.net/

Found this fellow posting on NPR's facebook page.

quote:

Right but drones leave marks and more clues, I take exception to the use of medicine to harm people as was done to me. And how the state gets involved in that.
I call them Dr Ones. They do more harm with their cabal of medical and legal quacks and have for some time than they do with the UAVs and unmanned craft. And they do that right here and have for some time.
I was lynched and vivisected. In my home town in 1981, Wilson NY.

quote:

Someone had a visit from the tooth fairy. And he got some of his own medicine. Live long and prosper toilet paper fairy man.

quote:

You know what they say don't you? What goes around comes around, and as you sow, so shall ye reap. Plant rocks and then you harvest rocks. The Wilson NY website shows the shrine they built to the local quack, Dr. John Argue and his collection of cars. It really is a shame.

?????

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012



So is he a ghost? Vivisection and lynching is generally fatal.

LateToTheParty
Oct 13, 2012

The bane of my existence.


The offical Fleshlight forum.

Link: https://forums.fleshlight.com/forum.php

vxskud
Nov 19, 2006



I present to you a collection of some of the tackiest and generally awful sweatshirts I have ever seen.

http://belovedshirts.com/

Speedboat Jones
Dec 28, 2008

Hey kid I'm a computer.


vxskud posted:

I present to you a collection of some of the tackiest and generally awful sweatshirts I have ever seen.

http://belovedshirts.com/

This is an "ironic clothing" overload. I don't think I can handle it.

Suspicious Dish
Sep 24, 2011



http://furby.tumblr.com

Spiderjelly
Aug 22, 2006

Sign of evil.


Have we ever done Farting for Boys?

http://fartingforboys.blogspot.com/

Lots of this kind of stuff:

"Getting down in that position opens you up naturally, so it’s a good starting position… what you should do then is tense your stomach muscles. When you tense your stomach muscles, you’ll feel your butt muscles tighten. Once you’ve tensed them, release tension, and then reapply it. Keep doing that, and you might feel air building up back there. It may only be a small bit at first, but it’ll get bigger the better you get at it.

Over time you should be able to skip a few steps, and just be able to fart by bending down on the ground, or even better, just by litterally “sucking in” and “blowing out.” Don’t believe me? Check some of the videos on this site out… or better yet, let Methane Junior here show how it’s done!"

Followed by lots of videos of, well, boys farting. Guy claims not to be a pedophile, but I don't see how this isn't creepy.

Prathm
Nov 24, 2005



Christian Domestic Discipline, a.k.a. spank your wife for Jesus. It's apparently a thing:

http://www.christiandomesticdiscipline.com/



http://www.thedailybeast.com/articl...discipline.html

Atimo
Feb 21, 2007
Lurking since '03

Rapture Ready politics forum!

http://rr-bb.com/forumdisplay.php?73-End-Times-Politics

Bonus DOMA ruling thread!

http://rr-bb.com/showthread.php?187...s-been-defeated

chris posted:


Shannon9602 posted:

Hopefully we will be out of here soon since world is accepting same sex marriage everyday....

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/natio...ge-live/66437/
I am soooooo tired of this world. I cannot wait to see Jesus

Punting
Sep 9, 2007
I am very witty: nit-witty, dim-witty, and half-witty.

Presenting the crowning achievement of the Brony Fandom:

http://www.fluffybooru.org/

Behold. Miniature fluffy ponies undergoing endless abuse for the sake of a subculture's subculture's sadistic internet murderboners. Enjoy!

The Worst Unicorn
Nov 3, 2009

~*I Sparkle You Sparkle*~


Welcome to Mermaid's Tail Galleries, (link worksafe, site definitely not) the place for people who love the concept of sexy ladies but find the execution lacking.


I found this site by looking for pictures of wild turkeys, see if you can find out how!

s0m3 guy
Apr 20, 2012


http://www.kabalyero.net/

I'm gonna need more than a second life after I've killed myself at least a hundred times over.
I don't even know where to start with this, I don't even know how this guy can also sell games on his fuckin blog, I don't even know how this can even exist.

http://www.youtube.com/user/KabalyeroTV?feature=watch
Fuckin, gotta start my videos with my digital alter ego surrounded by 3D bikini clad women, then I'm essentially just gonna talk about poo poo in some monotonous tone.

edit:
http://www.kabalyero.info/
Jesus christ, the effort you'd have to put in to make some terrible website and loving host it. My friend finds the craziest of poo poo, but god drat I've had enough today.

s0m3 guy fucked around with this message at Sep 12, 2013 around 13:28

forums poster
Jan 25, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 4008 days!


Corridor 7 was a poo poo FPS that was two years out of date when it came out, and that was in 1994. Here is its one and only fansite, curated by the game's one and only fan.

http://corridor7.tripod.com/

Wade Wilson
Jun 9, 2009

Will a 90's sitcom reference do?


Atimo posted:

Rapture Ready politics forum!

http://rr-bb.com/forumdisplay.php?73-End-Times-Politics

Bonus DOMA ruling thread!

http://rr-bb.com/showthread.php?187...s-been-defeated


http://www.theatlanticwire.com/natio...ge-live/66437/
I am soooooo tired of this world. I cannot wait to see Jesus


Reminds me of youregoingtohell.com

Anyone else remember that site? I think it was an ALOTD years ago.

Add a "/forums" to that url, though, and you get taken to somebody's ebay store page (the forums imploded a while over some kind of drama, apparently the website owner decided that ebay store page was a better use of the address).

Knitted Art
Mar 25, 2011



This thing has been linked on the D&D Freep thread and it really deserves a good look. As far as I know it's an enormous wiki catalog with 1200 pages with the many schizophrenic "projects" of an extremely right-winger TVTroper.

Rugoberta Munchu
Jun 5, 2003

Do you want a hupyrolysege slcorpselong?

http://www.addictedman.com/

quote:

coffee (Caffeine) = "Ritalin" = *SCHOOL-MASSACRE* ...!!!

cola (Caffeine) = "Prozak" = *WIFE=BEATINGS* ...!!!

ding-dong's (Caffeine) = "Hydrogenated-Mental-Mush" = *BRAIN-DEAD-DING-DONG* .....!

tea (Caffeine) = "Vicodin" = *SUICIDE* ...!!!

chocolate (Caffeine) = "adhd" = *PARENT-CHILD-KILLINGS* ...!!!

crank (Drano) = "Chewing-on-Face" = *UGLY* ...!!!

expresso (Caffeine) = "Caffeine-Absorbant-Sponge-Breasts" = *NO-TITS* ...!!!

sport drinks (Caffeine) = "Growth-Hormones"('Bull-Sperm'!) = *LIES* & *CHEATING* ...!!!

Bad-Cop/NO-Donut (Caffeine) = "BROTHERHOOD" of: ..."Addicted-Angry-rear end-Hole-Pricks" = *NERVOUS*/*BRAINLESS*/*ITCHEY-FINGER* ...*FIRE-ARM-gently caress-UPS* ...!!!

diet-programs (Caffeine) = "Amphetamines & X-Tops" = *WASTED-AWAY-ANERXOUS-JUNKIE* ...!!!

dr. peddling (Caffeine/Narcotics) = "Prozak/Paxel/PAIN-KILLERS" = *DIBILITATED*-*ADDICTED*-*ADULT-CHILDREN* ...!!!

'enhanced' soldier-food (Caffeine) = "Mega-Addicted"/"Burned-Out-Daddy" = *5-SOLDIER-WIFE-KILLINGS* in 1-WEEK* ...!!!

street-peddling (Crack) = "Cheap" = *DEATH* ...!!!

hot-coco: "MORE-OVELTEEN-PLEASE" (Caffeine) = "Back-Talk"! "Jive"! "DisRespect"! = *GRAMMAR-SCHOOL-DRUG-DEALINGS* ...!!!

obesity (Caffeine) = "Stimulant-Induced"/"Nervous"/"Pie-Hole-Packing" = *NO-CURE* ...!!!

drive-threw (Caffeine) = "Visual-Prostate-Blood(?)" = *NO-SEX-LOOSER*/*Looser* ...!!!

hot-moaning-beverage (Caffeine) = "Vitamin/Mineral/Magnizium/Potassium/Electrolite" ..."RICH-PISS" = *ALZHEIMERS* ...!!!

stolen-Starbuck, 'addictive-beans' [Caffeine] = ''Enslaven, Black, Addicted, 'Coffee-Copping', Cop-Killers'' = 'TERRIFIED', Brain-Washed, 'ADDICTED-PIGS' ...

Only registered members can see post attachments!

JorahTheExplorer
Oct 23, 2013


http://www.reddit.com

redherringj
Jan 31, 2014

one man's terrorist
is another man's
freedom fighter


I tried to recommend this years ago, but it was refused because of bandwidth issues. Still, I believe you should all know about it even if it can't be officially recognized. Enjoy Hoofprint and Don Kichote's Trampled by Heavy Animals Exploratory.

http://www.oocities.org/hoofprinted/


It's about two guys who get sexually aroused by having ribs broken by oxen walking on them. There's also a section where it's just photos of big animal's feet. I interviewed one of them for a radio show I did in college. I think they may be different from you or I, psychologically speaking.

BulletRiddled
Jun 1, 2004

I survived Disaster Movie and all I got was this poorly cropped avatar



Lobster Mary

This was on a recent episode of Dragon's Den, and it's one of the strangest things I've ever heard of. Do you know what you find if you cut open a lobster and look inside its stomach? That's right, the Virgin Mary! She appears inside the belly of each and every lobster, and now you can carry this gross chunk of lobster guts on you at all times in the form of a keychain.



quote:

JUST LIKE THE VASTNESS OF THE OCEAN, YOU MAY FEEL AS IF YOU ARE ALL ALONE.THIS MARY COMES FROM INSIDE THE LOBSTER.

The Mary is coming from inside the lobster!

You can read all about it right here on this timecube-esque page.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

I'M A BUTTWIZARD

AND ALSO A BOOBWIZARD COME TO THINK OF IT


Finally, a site that lets you search female celebrities and models by bust size to check on their relationship status.

loving internet.

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012



BulletRiddled posted:

Lobster Mary

This was on a recent episode of Dragon's Den, and it's one of the strangest things I've ever heard of. Do you know what you find if you cut open a lobster and look inside its stomach? That's right, the Virgin Mary! She appears inside the belly of each and every lobster, and now you can carry this gross chunk of lobster guts on you at all times in the form of a keychain.




The Mary is coming from inside the lobster!

You can read all about it right here on this timecube-esque page.

Lobsters is rocks with Virgins inside

Ema Nymton
Apr 26, 2008

the place where I come from
is a small town


While doing a GIS for something else, I ran into the "Doppelganger and Identity Research Society"
http://doppels.proboards.com/

Evidently, they believe some celebrities have been killed and replaced by very, very close lookalikes, and of course there's an entire subforum for Paul McCartney. But everyone knows John Lennon's replacements were better, come on

quote:

In my opinion the John Lennon replacements were BETTER then the MccFakes. They looked more like Lennon and a lot of the music was better. (I am the Walrus and Plastic Ono Band come to mind).So why did they come up with bad MccFakes?One reason is to DESTRACT everyone from the fact that EVERYONE was replaced but we only noticed one.Another reason was MccFake was in it for the long haul and Lennon had a limited shelf life.

ScaryJen
Jan 27, 2008

Keepin' it classy.


I found this today: http://www.homelessdating.com

Apparently, it's not actually homeless people, but donates money to homeless people if you pay them to join. Inspired by the idea of a homeless man for there to be a dating site for homeless people. They have an in-character twitter.

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Suspicious Dish
Sep 24, 2011



http://fantaproductions.com/video-updates/tiffany-crushing-frosted-mini-wheat-cereal/

I know, weird fetish material is sort of a cliche now, but read that URL out loud to yourself and tell me you didn't chuckle.

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