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Space Poodle
Nov 11, 2007
http://www.findingmygoddess.com/

Don't know that it could conceivably have been overlooked, but just in case.

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ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


:nws:Crucified Women:nws:

It's a bunch of images of naked women tied to crosses. Some are lovely Poser art, and some are not. Getting wood before you nail a girl is one thing, but this is something else.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
https://www.imorial.com

an online memorial for loved ones who have died (supported by ads, unless you pay to remove them).

Not just for people!

https://www.imorialpets.com

Pax Technica
Oct 18, 2006

A very technical peace.
http://www.ufstarfleet.org/news.php

Starfleet boldly goes where no self-respecting man has gone before: Second Life!

Salmon Season
Aug 16, 2005

Do you avoid wearing shorts because of the way they creep up your inner thigh?
Stop being self-conscious.
http://www.noriders.com/home
Be sure to check out the video.

Just a dumb website I saw tacked to the advertise bar on gmail.

robmiller
May 21, 2004

http://www.mall727.50megs.com

I searched Google to see whether it was already submitted here and didn't find anything, so hopefully it hasn't.

Essentially it looks like someone's personal page, but it's so biblically awful I wouldn't be surpised how anyone could find anything on their page even after nine years which they claim to have been around.

Anyway, the site features the typical animated affair, a virtual keyboard as bookmarks, and horrible videos from hulu and YouTube.

robmiller fucked around with this message at 18:46 on Jul 27, 2009

Subhu Man
Mar 20, 2004

When stalking tigers it's positively anaerobic to anticipate failiure.
(HBT; Outtakes, 5:32)
Are the Sun and Daily Mail too liberal for you? Do you think that Muslims are taking over the world? Do you believe that the French need to be rounded up and shot (ok, ok, think the French need to be rounded up and shot to an unusually large extent)? Can you speak with an English accent? Is yellow text on a brown background your idea of a good browsing experience? This may be the site for you...

http://ifyoudontgetoffyourarsewerealldead.blogspot.com/

quote:

The French, treasonous dogs - Britain's historic enemy, and the enemy of good since the Revolution in 1789 - have sold the British children into white sexual slavery, to titilate and pleasure our Islamic masters. The deal for cheap oil lead to the Islamic invasion in the first place. We are now at the tipping point for the Moslem to demand the virginity of any European child he desires, because he must be free to 'express' himself. And the EU will back him up to the hilt.
Full Article

rangergirl
Jun 3, 2004
A shark on whiskey is mighty risky, but a shark on beer is a beer engineer
http://srpandjrnyfanfiction.bravehost.com/

The only website dedicated to fanfiction about Steve Perry and the other members of Journey.

TheForgotton
Jun 10, 2001

I'm making a career of evil.
http://keysdan.com/

Key Largo's hottest internet disc jockey/wedding planner/travel agent/web designer/video dance party emcee/Cafepress impresario/professional broadcaster/theme party planner/ is eagerly awaiting you to book him for your next Briss.

Make sure to check out some of his voice demos. Who wouldn't hire this guy!

vectorwolf
May 2, 2006

ultrafilter posted:

:nws:Crucified Women:nws:

It's a bunch of images of naked women tied to crosses. Some are lovely Poser art, and some are not. Getting wood before you nail a girl is one thing, but this is something else.

I think this might be an emerging fetish because I found another similar site, :nws:passion of a goddess:nws: They seem to have a pretty hardcore rule for their payment plans too, 12 euros to log in two times in a day.

Fiddy Pea
Aug 7, 2008
I stumbled on this atrocity of web design when I was trying to find a joke about a King Edward potato not wanting his daughter to marry a Common 'tater.

http://mrbongo1.homestead.com/index.html

I can't figure out if it's a parody or not, or what the point of the site is supposed to be, but it's probably one of the few websites left that didn't change when viewed through Google's 2001 project.

Oh god, I've just noticed the "awards" page is just link upon link of this poo poo.

Fiddy Pea fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Aug 17, 2009

BiggerJ
May 21, 2007

What shall we do with him? A permaban, perhaps? Probate him for a few years? Or...shall we employ a big red custom title? You, the goons of SA, shall decide his fate.
Northfur FX & Mascots makes a living selling horrifying costume items and prostheses to furries. For maximum horror, please browse their YouTube channel.

Mooch and Earl
May 20, 2009

by Tiny Fistpump
http://peopleofwalmart.com/
Needs no explaining.

Parahexavoctal
Oct 10, 2004

I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

What could be worse than the blog of a schizophrenic self-proclaimed messiah?

How about the blog of a schizophrenic self-proclaimed messiah who grabbed a little girl off the street and held her prisoner for 18 years?

http://voicesrevealed.blogspot.com/

If you write, I will make it better.

Onomarchus
Jun 4, 2005

http://www.myleftwinggirlfriend.blogspot.com/

I went looking for the left-wing analogue of http://myrightwingdad.blogspot.com/. I did not find that. (I suppose it may have been that at one time.) There's nothing here about politics, just one stay-at-home dad's self-pity and little-varnished desire to kill his disabled daughter.

George
Nov 27, 2004

No love for your made-up things.
http://scubadate.com/

A friend of mine goes to law school with this guy, and assures me that this site is 100% serious. Also I don't think the guy is doing too well in class.

I know it's really, really hard to believe, but this guy is actually serious. For this whole web site. Also, he doesn't know the difference between a binomial and binary. Also everything else about it.

Uncle Zeke
Feb 5, 2003

Can You Hear Me Now?
http://thereviewboard.net/ - Seattle's prostitutes and johns mix it up in a misogynistic free-for-all that can be outlandishly funny at times. The "reviews" use some of the strangest lingo I've ever encountered.

Mdubb
Oct 12, 2008

by Fistgrrl
http://www.notinkansas.us/index.html

Einstein and Jesus explain the evils of fossil fuels and chauvinism, when Jesus isn't busy smoking dictators with his M-16.

Genderfluid
Jun 18, 2009

my mom is a slut
http://www.fussy-eaters.com/

A forums for those who only eat spaghetti, among other amusing quirks of eating. A nice sample post.

Opera Bitch
Sep 28, 2004

Let me lull you to sleep with my sweet song!

http://www.mypeepeebottle.com/

A bottle for kids to pee in which coincidentally looks just like a regular water bottle. Don't forget the warning to keep the bottle cap out of kids' mouths while you are at it though. Also includes pictures and instructions on how to use it. Customizable too! Really, who though this product was a good idea?

Pax Technica
Oct 18, 2006

A very technical peace.
http://www.cliffsnotes.com/WileyCDA/Section/CliffsNotes-The-Manga-Editions.id-310791.html

Never before have so many brilliant authors simultaneously rolled over in their graves.

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

I sent this to Garbage Day via PM, but I feel like sharing the horror with you.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

That's right, they translated the Bible into LOLCat speak. It may be the Bible, but it's proof that there is no God.

tolerabletariff
Jul 3, 2009

Do you think I'm spooky?
Imagine, if you will, a Something Awful For Bros. Yes, that's right: there now exists a website incredibly similar to SA that you will can be proud to discuss with your fratbuddies.
https://www.brobible.com
It has forums, bro-ey stories and features, lax news; it's a humor website, and it has "brommunity" forums for discussion of fratty subjects. I have several friends with Brobible t-shirts.

WHERE IS MY COFFEE
Apr 22, 2009

WHO PUT THAT UP THERE
YOU GUYS ARE ASSHOLES
Hi guys. Meet Ellie Crystal.

She's a psychic!



Welcome to her center-aligned, basic HTML business page and blog! http://www.crystalinks.com/index.html

Ellie Crystal posted:

Thank you for inquiring about a psychic reading. If you have been guided to this page, something in your soul is telling you that information will be given that you need to hear. Follow your guidance to discover the best way to learn about relationships, metaphysics, your soul's purpose, how to earn money in today's recession, and how to focus on your issues to create healing and balance.

Sessions are given in person or by phone only.

Looks like Ellie found out how to earn money in today's recession!

But Ellie's not just a psychic. She really loves interviewing friends of dead celebrities on her "World Blog Talk Radio":



She also loves Twilight:



Oh, and she knows we are all secretly aliens. (Dammit, she found us!)

Ellie Crystal, Super Ultra Feminine Psychic Moon Goddess Star Seed posted:

We are all 'star seeds', or 'star people' as we all have lived in many realities in many planetary systems and in higher realms as other life forms. So here we are, star seeds, souls sparks on a mission, trapped for NOW in a physical experience.

Starseeds allegedly seed planets with information and spiritual frequency when one cycle of time is about to end and another begin. As planetary frequency increases, so too does their levels of awareness, and need to help others, and return to their natural state of being, a soul spark of light.

And it goes on from there. Boy, does it ever.

But remember, folks: This is (a) serious business. Please show your support by scheduling a $150/hour psychic reading session, or by buying some of the mystic bullshit jewelry she sponsors that is probably made by her friend.

Don't bother scheduling after 2012 because the world might not be here.

The Worst Unicorn
Nov 4, 2009

~*I Sparkle You Sparkle*~
Sorry If everyone and their mother has seen this by now, but what about https://www.kirtu.com Very NWS, it's an Indian porn site.
Except, India has super censorship laws, so they can't have real porn. Instead they have to have comics of the lovely toon mistress, Savita Bhabhi! It's all in really weird English and kinda depressing at almost six million worldwide viewers. (Or so said a review that took me there from a men's clothing blog. I don't know who's looking at Savita bang ugly men.)

Edit: Also it's freee!

Double edit: Yaaay! :neckbeard:

The Worst Unicorn fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Nov 27, 2009

tickytack
May 30, 2009

Repent Repent Repent Repent
I had a pretty good time reading through some of these:

:nws:http://www.fistforum.com/index.php:nws:

The How-To and FAQs section was particularly useful. God knows I fisted myself silly for a few hours.

This is beautiful.



And because I really like the idea of piston-like fisting:



There should be a lot of good poo poo buried deep in the bowels of fistforum.com.

tickytack fucked around with this message at 12:14 on Dec 1, 2009

SirRobin
Mar 2, 2002

Celestial Soul Portraits by Erial Ali. aka Really lovely photoshoppery sold as magical art.

quote:

How It Works
1. You contact Erial Ali - letting him know you wish such a portrait.

2. Erial has a phone consultation with you - where he finds out about you -
your interests, your passions, your fascinations, how you "see" yourself.

3. You send Erial a high-quality photo of yourself - an image that you feel is highly representative of "the real you". An image that represent how you like to be seen. This will be Erial's "starting point".

4. Erial meditates and "tunes into you", to "get your unique Essence".

5. Once Erial really "gets who you are", then, starting from the image you provided, he magically transforms it into a Celestial Soul Portrait of you!

6. Erial mails you a CD of this portrait. This CD is a very-high quality, very large and high-resolution digital image - enough detail to print out a VERY LARGE PRINT that looks magnificent.

7. You are then free to use that image on your website, print hi-quality photos of it, or even print hi-quality medium-size posters of it, which you can frame.
(Print shops can do this for you, or you can do it at home -
with a nice printer and photo paper.)


How it really works:

Take one lovely photo. Add lens flare, rainbow-hued highlights, lovely clip art and GIS-sourced low-res backgrounds, more lens flare, run it through a few filters, add MORE LENS FLARE... then wait a month before taking a couple of hundred bucks from the sucker for what must be less than ten minutes (lovely quality) work.

EDIT: Ooh! A self portrait.

Click here for the full 683x850 image.

This is probably the least lovely of the examples, even if only because it's not someone else's likenes he's taking a rainbow-hued dump on.

SirRobin fucked around with this message at 14:43 on Dec 1, 2009

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

The Q Files (or whatever that nutjob's calling his show now)
Forget 2012, we're all hosed by February! :tinfoil:

Steve Quayle is an extreme neo-con conspiracy theorist with his own internet radio show. He's been parading every news story as evidence of a plan by the government to kill millions (for example, the swine flu vaccine was supposedly a biological weapon). Although he's always been insane, his current message is that the government is going to start hunting people down and either killing them or putting them in concentration camps within 60 days. He ended his last major broadcast by stating that anybody who doesn't follow his messed up advice is damned and deserves to be tortured.

In his messed up world the Census Bureau's 2009 mapping initiative was a thinly veiled attempt at acquiring targeting information for hellfire missiles to be used on the houses of religious cultists (what he says the government calls christians). I find it amazing that he can infer this just by looking at a census worker, whereas I, someone who actually worked on updating the maps for the census, can't see how that lovely GPS software can be used to launch missiles onto the homes of nutjobs and how it will do this without any information about who's actually living at the street addresses.

Mans Ruin
Oct 25, 2005
Horror Punk Rocker
http://www.webking.com



He is the WEB KING.

Words fail to describe how utterly amazing the Web King is. It's like 1997 never went away. Also he only hosts his (frontpage built "professional") sites on Dedicated Servers. You know, because of the server load from that flaming laser beam gif. It's high-end stuff.



EDIT:
Despite being an IT professional since 1997, he hasn't yet worked out how to screen grab without using a printer and a scanner...

http://www.webkingadvertising.com/images/WebKingGoogleSearchResults.gif
http://www.webkingadvertising.com/images/GoogleOrganicListing-LasVegasWebDesigner_1-600.gif

Also he's the sole inventor of the ECH. Yes. THE ECH.
http://www.wastedenergyrecycling.com/HTML/True_Smart_Grid.htm

And he solves domestic disputes with the utilisation of strobe lights
http://lasvegas.citysearch.com/review/7036663?reviewId=50117481

Mans Ruin fucked around with this message at 16:24 on Dec 11, 2009

BiggerJ
May 21, 2007

What shall we do with him? A permaban, perhaps? Probate him for a few years? Or...shall we employ a big red custom title? You, the goons of SA, shall decide his fate.
I'm not quite sure how to feel about the relatively new comic Lurfstar. Sure, it's poorly-drawn, but, I dunno, something just doesn't seem right. Maybe it's the possible racism, but the author appears to be Vietnamese (as evidenced by his/her common Vietnamese surname, Pham), so I still don't know. I'll let you guys decide.

BiggerJ
May 21, 2007

What shall we do with him? A permaban, perhaps? Probate him for a few years? Or...shall we employ a big red custom title? You, the goons of SA, shall decide his fate.
This man is the mastermind behind Forsaken Stars, a new sci-fi webcomic about a vampire (to the artist's credit, a bony, creepy-looking one, not a Twilight-esque one) who wants to return to Earth before the impending apocalypse. The catch: by all accounts, God's a douche, keeping a barrier around the solar system and apparently ignoring the many other races of the universe, including the humans decended from those who managed to escape into space.

BiggerJ fucked around with this message at 10:05 on Dec 27, 2009

oribiasi
Dec 31, 2009

I'd like nothing more than for you to change your fortunes and never see another welfare check again.

ultrafilter posted:

:nws:Crucified Women:nws:

It's a bunch of images of naked women tied to crosses. Some are lovely Poser art, and some are not. Getting wood before you nail a girl is one thing, but this is something else.

Frankly, I nominate this one. Where the hell did you find this insanity?

P78M
Sep 1, 2004

tropical hot dog night
Just submitted two links through the frontpage system, but I thought I would share. Didn't really check the archives so I don't know if they are dupes.

1)
FREEDOM FROM COVERT HARASSMENT AND SURVEILLANCE (FFCHS) - possible nws stuff, but I wouldn't be caught there regardless.

http://www.freedomfchs.com/index.html

Tin foil hat types, literally. Some guy who is into this kept warning my coworker about how the government electroshocks people. Turned that out he was cuckoo for coco puffs. Probably stuff you have already seen, but it looks like it is a big movement! Well, there are a few people who protest. Well, more like a dozen. Here's a funky video they made about the psychic wars or something:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnITSphBiIM&feature=player_embedded

2)
Xtreme Strength

:nws: http://hilda.thevalkyrie.com/~xtreme/about.htm :nws:

A fetish website where strong, poorly photoshopped/CGI women lift jeeps, taxis, motorcycles, vans, weights, and other heavy objects. There is more here than I would have thought possible. Wonder Woman seems to be a fixture as well.

The Worst Unicorn
Nov 4, 2009

~*I Sparkle You Sparkle*~
http://cursorland.piczo.com/?cr=2

This site is painful in its design. :( I just wanted a cute cursor for my game, but now I have a headache.

Make sure to check out the 'super attack-pea.'

e. Oh boy :haw:

The Worst Unicorn fucked around with this message at 07:18 on Jan 14, 2010

text me a vag pic
May 18, 2007




:nws: https://www.fake-detective.com :nws:

You might get this from the name, but this guy goes around and determines if naked pictures of celebrities on the internet are real or not. If they are not real, the "fake detective" will hunt down where the original photos came from.

The best thing isn't the commentary - which often makes note of how well down a poorly photoshoped picture of Natalie Portman's head pasted on a porn star's body is - but it's the fact that they have been doing this for at least 12 years.

Kimmiechrist
Feb 12, 2007
http://www.avatar-forums.com/index.php

I really wanted to submit this for the Weekend Web, but I didn't know how to do that/if it was an option. Nevertheless, it's worth a glance and a few laughs.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Selleck Waterfall Sandwich. It's exactly what it claims to be.

fisting by many
Dec 25, 2009



ultrafilter posted:

Selleck Waterfall Sandwich. It's exactly what it claims to be.

Hey, that last one is an ice cream sandwich! Those aren't real sandwiches!

YEAH DOG
Sep 24, 2009

you wanna join my
primitive noise band?
Raw Paleo Forums

They believe that eating raw, rotting meat is making their lives better.

This is "high meat":



That is not beef stew, and it's never been heated :)

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Bedevere
Jun 24, 2005
Grimey Drawer
Don't know if it has been mentioned:

Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD)

It's a forum in which ultra Christians discuss their rather insane believes about beating wives and children.

You have to submit an email to the admins to get in so this requires a subtle line of BS.

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