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TONY DANZAS HO
Aug 27, 2003

Making you do a carepostin 2.1 isn't as uncool as making to an analysis in the middle of a flamewar that boosting my ego.


Resident GBS/ Ask/Tell Attention-dwarf, your time has come.

Here is BSG:


Yes, this is the image I would choose were I to write overblown accounts of my life and shill them on the internet. Ladies want my dick, men want to be in my power chair, gather round and listen to some true tales of the baddest bad-rear end to scoot down the block, BSG, the dwarf knight.

Dwarf Knight Adventures thread

[ASK] Me what it is like to be a dwarf

and finally, Student Teachers Want to Bang Me.

This last one is now closed. The reason for this is, Mr. Sensitivity, frightened by the first signs of dissent from a normally fawning audience, couldn't handle those doubting the veracity of his sexual escapades, so he scooted off like a little bitch.

BSG in a nutshell
"Born and raised in freezing Minnesota, this three foot ego reads poetry for the masses. Master of language, this half-man stands on stages dropping pages of poetry to the floor for the encore. 3 First place Poetry Slam awards, and one state invitational make up this budding poet's abilities. Soon, Chicago will be graced with the face of true poetry as BSG breaks out in an attempt to pay for college. Read: Buy my CD."

He's three feet of subtlety when it comes to hittin' on broads

Somebody didn't get enough attention when they were litt...oh


He's also got a myspace and here is a link to buy his book, support the bloated ego of a guy who probably does the better part of his living inside his own mind.

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GSV Fuck Your God
Aug 27, 2003

small-l liberalism


I thought this was going to be a callout thread for Battlestar Galactica.

American Psychonauts
Dec 27, 2005

...but inside doesn't matter

why does he call himself the dwarf knight thats pretty gay

Protocol 5
Sep 23, 2004

God created Fenway to train the faithful.


what happened to the good old days when dwarves would be abandoned on a hillside to be devoured by wolves? there's no respect for tradition anymore.

Stink Hungry
Jul 22, 2003

You betcha

We can be pretty certain he has a tiny penis, so let the penis insults fly.

TONY DANZAS HO
Aug 27, 2003

Making you do a carepostin 2.1 isn't as uncool as making to an analysis in the middle of a flamewar that boosting my ego.


And, as seems to be tradition for me, dude thinks he can draw

a grumpy lad
Aug 22, 2003

Long nights, impossible odds.

having sex with that would be like getting serviced by a stumpy body-louse.

Moll Brown
Jun 23, 2007

You know, Bruce, you are really being such a prick.

quote:

You should also check out my story thread for some entertainment, and a little more insight into who I am on a personal level.

3 posts down:

quote:

There's more information on this in my story thread.

still on the first page:

quote:

As I talked about in my other thread,

squeak:

quote:

You should all start posting in my other thread too. It's in dire need of love.

I hear this chap has some sort of stories hidden somewhere if someone could direct me there that would be good thanks.

Ferrule
Feb 23, 2007

Yo!

His voice...it haunts me.

Ickypooman
Apr 3, 2005

That is incorrect.

Consistently Delusional BSG posted:

I'm 3 feet tall, and I use a wheelchair. Because of this, I end up pigeonholed with the special education kids that also take nothing but art classes, but for absolutely different reasons. I guess because I'm willing to talk to a majority of them, our teacher seats me with them so they've got some kind of a defense against the rest of the class. He knows me well, so I know it isn't some kind of misunderstanding of my abilities. The problem is that it's difficult to hit on a 20 year old college student in front of 4 mentally challenged boys with boners.

There is no other possible explanation, i'm sure

DCAnderson
Aug 24, 2007

by Fragmaster


Yay, nothing I love better than people who make up overly elaborate stories in which they are larger than life nerd-heroes so they can get attention and make up for their own insecurities.

Though oddly enough, I've known plenty of bullshitters whose lives were fine and didn't need to make up stories about themselves but did anyway.

Whatever, gently caress those people.

TONY DANZAS HO
Aug 27, 2003

Making you do a carepostin 2.1 isn't as uncool as making to an analysis in the middle of a flamewar that boosting my ego.


BREAKING NEWS- IMAGES FROM HIS NEW POETRY BOOK Don't worry I'm sure it will be available online very soon





Look out world, prepare to be offended!

American Psychonauts
Dec 27, 2005

...but inside doesn't matter

drat this is like the worst possible introduction to a book possible


let me tell you about this thread i made on this little forum called something awful,

usually
Sep 8, 2004



tdh he's a cripple let him have his fun

he has to put his socks on with hooks.

usually fucked around with this message at Aug 27, 2007 around 16:06

Dirty Rob
Aug 10, 2004

by Fistgrrl


I miss the days when people like him just joined the circus.

Ferrule
Feb 23, 2007

Yo!

tony danzas ho posted:



I love self-writen bios in third person!

TONY DANZAS HO
Aug 27, 2003

Making you do a carepostin 2.1 isn't as uncool as making to an analysis in the middle of a flamewar that boosting my ego.


Platter posted:

tdh he's a cripple let him have his fun

Do you believe that a dwarf is equal to a person of "normal stature", socially? If so, would you make fun of a "normal" person if they were attention-whoring and telling contrived bullshit stories about themselves?

You're against equal rights for cripples, ain't ya?

J. Bansal
Nov 17, 2005

by Peatpot


BSG posted:

I'm quite the fish UNDER water, but because of the metal in my back, my but floats and my upper body sinks. I end upside down if I'm not careful! I can't tread water, so I just have to swim to the side and pull myself up. I usually like to swim with hot women because I have to hang on to someone. The ladies like my honesty.

"I might end up grabbing your boob if I start to sink."
"I'd like that."
"Oh no! I've got a hole in starboard *bubble bubble bubble*
*screams of joy and fondlement*

Yeah so this never happened. Unless the woman thought he was just a small boy being cute and precocious.

J. Bansal fucked around with this message at Aug 27, 2007 around 16:16

usually
Sep 8, 2004



tony danzas ho posted:

You're against equal rights for cripples, ain't ya?
If they're attention whoring, yea. You're supposed to smile awkwardly at them until they go away.

Moll Brown
Jun 23, 2007

You know, Bruce, you are really being such a prick.

http://www.brandonstgermaine.com/

Raged
Jul 21, 2003

A revolution of beats

God I miss the old days when Tossed Salad Man would go on epic rants about the evil of midgets and how they all should be killed.

Anyone with archives can ya pull up some of these gems.

General351
Mar 16, 2003


people really bought this? also, what does a Lulu sales rank of Lulu 21,035 mean?

Ferrule
Feb 23, 2007

Yo!


What a fascinating video. He's almost hypnotic.

TONY DANZAS HO
Aug 27, 2003

Making you do a carepostin 2.1 isn't as uncool as making to an analysis in the middle of a flamewar that boosting my ego.


Oh christ


It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and lose it all

It's unnerving
How just one move puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm now saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

TONY DANZAS HO
Aug 27, 2003

Making you do a carepostin 2.1 isn't as uncool as making to an analysis in the middle of a flamewar that boosting my ego.




Pessimisms abound,
she says that my girl is magic;
and we are all (three of us) so beautiful.

Itís simple.
I am absent in emotional sixteenís and
muses inspire most when alone.
Thatís how I was her home this same time
in the September past.
I didnít shower this morning
because I had no one to smell me.

I shot my tears off too soon
and now itís all messed up in the head
until someone says that I am over reacting.

But how are you supposed to react?
Iíll bet thereís a joke in one of those
ďJokes sent to your cell phone!Ē scams that goes:

ďWhat did the hurt boyfriend say to the
slightly lesbian girlfriend
whoís kissed her best friend?Ē

And itís one of those jokes without a punchline.

Dirty Rob
Aug 10, 2004

by Fistgrrl


I had a buddy that was a midget. He got shot in the head. Maybe there's hope for Brandon after all.

TONY DANZAS HO
Aug 27, 2003

Making you do a carepostin 2.1 isn't as uncool as making to an analysis in the middle of a flamewar that boosting my ego.


Freddie Gibbis
Jul 30, 2007

~~ schween lyfe ~~

if you can't spell 'beatnik' correctly, there's a good chance you should hold off on the book of poetry for a while

also, his 'write-up' reminds me of the lovely bios local bands would always send me when i used to book at a dive bar:

"CRUCIFICATION is the best metal band ever in the history of the planet! This is the band your mom and dad warned you about! Get ready to have you're head exploded with metal fury because these guys are so amazing!"

Hudson
Jun 1, 2004

Beneath the surface lies the future.


Dirty Rob posted:

I had a buddy that was a midget. He got shot in the head. Maybe there's hope for Brandon after all.

But this guy is a mega bone enhanced dwarf. I have my doubts anything less than a milk bottle sized shell could penetrate his skull.

TommyFilth
Aug 25, 2000

by Ozma


tony danzas ho posted:

Do you believe that a dwarf is equal to a person of "normal stature", socially? If so, would you make fun of a "normal" person if they were attention-whoring and telling contrived bullshit stories about themselves?

You're against equal rights for cripples, ain't ya?

drat right, enough of this wishy washy, "Oh I can't make fun of HIM" bullshit.

"I'll make fun of Jews, wops, niggers, spics and chinks, but I would NEVER make fun of a Native American, not after all the suffering we put their people through."

Cold Stone Killa
Jul 24, 2006

Aces! "Le" commissaire!!

This is the original post I made on the Something Awful forums

Tybuc
Jan 12, 2004

Iím just trying to change my life because Iím not above killing any drug dealer for money.

mayeb he can get a guest spot on some hellbound ellen degeneres talk show and convince the world that dwarves cna be stagehogging unfunny people just as easily as ugly lesbians can

Ickypooman
Apr 3, 2005

That is incorrect.

http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/fo...ead.php?p=20216

Sexual preference: Bisexual, prefer women

a grumpy lad
Aug 22, 2003

Long nights, impossible odds.

really, the only thing restricting his game is retards with boners.

TommyFilth
Aug 25, 2000

by Ozma



"I hope you find a reason to stay, and I hope you find another reason to come back."

Sure, no problem, I'll just click a link here... oh, I see, there's no content other than the YouTube embed with the blurb next to it. I'm sure I'll be coming back again and again!

TONY DANZAS HO
Aug 27, 2003

Making you do a carepostin 2.1 isn't as uncool as making to an analysis in the middle of a flamewar that boosting my ego.


Hello, please meet Brandon St. Germaine's Ex-Girlfriend

She is dating a woman now.

TommyFilth
Aug 25, 2000

by Ozma


zeyvos posted:

really, the only thing restricting his game is retards with boners.

Ladies love tard strength.

tony danzas ho posted:

Hello, please meet Brandon St. Germaine's Ex-Girlfriend

She is dating a woman now.



Matthew Lilard's younger sister?

Mad Platypus
Mar 1, 2007

IT IS NOT A PSYDUCK IT IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

he has a SHORT fuse:

BSG posted:

Seaniccus posted:

Yeah, you really come off like an rear end in a top hat OP. Also, it sounds made up because you come off like such a bastard.
You're cute. Since when is assholery inversely proportionate to the truthfulness of a story? Furthermore, since when has the truthfulness of a story ever mattered in the first place?

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...=#post332536769

BSG posted:

I'm sorry my dick isn't as cold as yours must've been.

Mad Platypus
Mar 1, 2007

IT IS NOT A PSYDUCK IT IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

also:

BSG posted:

I read 3 new poems that night. A funny one about masturbation anxiety. Another about a fellow poet who'd been ostracized and then committed to a mental health clinic because of a misunderstood poem he wrote. The last poem being a love poem talking the beautiful art major onto her feet and into my arms. I won with a full 12 point lead, and she kissed me. Being the regional slam, I would go on to the state competition where I would later take a fall from first place on my last poem due to poor sportsmanship by the other poets, as well as the ridiculous panel of judges.

it was all their fault

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TONY DANZAS HO
Aug 27, 2003

Making you do a carepostin 2.1 isn't as uncool as making to an analysis in the middle of a flamewar that boosting my ego.


On his girlfriend at the time:

By the way, there's this twig that is half of the most amazing thing I've ever been a part of. I hate to have ego (Who am I kidding?) but I must say: We rock so many places so much harder than so many other couples, it's hard to believe that we aren't considered weapons of mass destruction.

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