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notro man
Aug 23, 2006
It's been a while since there was a Craigslist thread, and I ran across an ad recently that I know AI would enjoy. Seems like something a goon would do.

http://seattle.craigslist.org/est/car/508634986.html

Quoted below in case the ad gets taken down.

quote:

volvo 850 type R Yo! 850R ....Wat? PRICE LOWRD! - $3800



You know what they say, “If it ain’t a type R, it ain’t a tight car!” -Benjamin Franklin (impressive!!!)

1996 Volvo 850R-white with cream interior made from the beasts of Europe…prime panda scheme candidate.

Price:$$$$ALL YOUR BASE or 3800 dollars American Wtfbbqlinebreak

This baby is at 218 thousand miles now, and increasingly more miles are being driven in sport mode. (was 30k, but now its more, obviously)

Hokay, so, don’t call asking about miles, because its in the ad, comments like “oh, well the miles are kinda high” will not be tolerated. This Volvo will smoke the doors off of e30 m3’s in econ mode and will blow a passenger door off of e46’s from a 60 roll, cause this thing is a highway monster. You’ll surely be the king of streets, (no king status if your streets are run by Tokyo drifters, this is fwd)

If you want a fast car that is safe for your offspring choose this vehicle. You wife will love all the creature comforts but have no idea that the turbo 5cyl (wtf sweedes!??) is actually a large montana ranch that keeps over 240 horses.

Have you ever been to sea-fair and seen the Blue angels fly by? That is what this bad boy sounds like once you hit full boost and wastegates like whoa open up! I love this car, and have been commuting in it for a long time, but I am sick and tired of getting hit on by milfs in their sexual prime because they think I’m some suave interwebs mogul as I am rearranging my golf clubs to fit more groceries in the massive trunk (yes, you could fit a bike in it). It can also fit at least 2 red haired persons <150 lbs

This car has 218k miles, Wat? 218k miles 218k miles 218k miles 218k miles 218k miles 218k miles 218k miles.

Do not call asking about miles, it is stated in this ad like 9 times (less than last time), If you don’t know that Volvos go to like half a million miles without maintenance than your personal savior must be modern medicine and your ignorance would have been the death of you in the middle ages. DO not call if this is you.

Although the miles seem high there is very little wrong, the work has been done by a DSM driver of who’s dsm still runs, which speaks volumes more than some silly ASE certification. The marvelous Swedes designed this car, supposedly Volvos are born from space shuttles, which make them a little bit better than their retarded cousin the Saab (which was only born from jets :rolleyes: ) I would not recommend buying this vehicle for ghostriding purposes.

Right now it has some sort of kuhmo tires, probably all seasons, which are siped for uber traction. I took out the front tweeters and put in better door speakers cause Volvo sucks at making speakers. I highly recommend coming to look at the car before you decide to lowball the crap out of me. So, I’m not gonna say OBO, cause maybe I’m not OBO, but maybe I’m thinking OBO, but who knows. This car is rad, but speaking of rads, the radiator has a freaking leak and I don’t want to spend 200 bucks to get a new one. It will for sure drive to seattle without the coolant res low light coming on. Did it last weekend.

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notro man
Aug 23, 2006
Here we have another winner: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/car/551753272.html :whatup:

Serious offers only!


notro man
Aug 23, 2006

dexter posted:



So it has a ventilated trunk?

notro man
Aug 23, 2006

DropShadow posted:

Hey ladies ...

That's an EXCLUSIVE picture!

notro man
Aug 23, 2006
I don't know, I wouldn't pay more than $1000 for a car with over 300k miles. Doesn't matter how much of a tank it is. Unless it's an actual tank, of course.

Sounds like he's just trying to get some of his money back that he just 'invested' into the car.

notro man fucked around with this message at 08:06 on Feb 14, 2008

notro man
Aug 23, 2006

dukeofurl posted:

http://orlando.craigslist.org/pts/581611354.html

"Rear toe huck's obo at 321-356-1520 Roger"

The sad part: I think this is par for the course.

Oh man, I just busted out laughing. I can hear him now "I tell you hhhwhut if you's ever stuck you won't be laughin then 'cuz then you'd be wishin' you bought these here toe hucks".

notro man
Aug 23, 2006

DropShadow posted:

My reply:


And his latest (and probably last):


I was hoping he would say something about my intentional typo in the price. Shucks :(

Man, he really likes his $50s. Maybe you should offer him the full amount of $1700 in $50 bills.

notro man
Aug 23, 2006

Luxmore posted:

But a real Escalade only costs like $60,000 :confused:

Yeah, but if I look everywhere for real Escalades I will find many. He's looked everywhere and hasn't seen any like his!

notro man
Aug 23, 2006
http://chicago.craigslist.org/sox/car/602081550.html

quote:

1992 Honda Civic ex 1.6 i-tec 5spd - $1500
Date: 2008-03-10, 7:11PM CDT


i have a 1992 handa civic for sale. the car comes with a 2400 watt system (2 12's). it has a cat back exhast and a air intake. i just put a new head gas kit on the car about 500 miles and a oil change about 200 miles ago. the car doesn't leak. there is 192,500 on the motor. it's a 5 speed shifts great and a strong cluch. rust in the normal spots on the for a civic. 1500 obo or will trade for a v8 mustang or camaro.

notro man
Aug 23, 2006

deviant. posted:

she meant cap, not cab

I'm glad you picked that up, because I didn't. I was picturing someone taking the cab off a Toyota pickup and discarding it because it was clearly in the way of letting them move things around with the truck. I was picturing that and slowly getting all sorts of absurd images in my head as to what they needed to move and how they were going to do it. Then my head exploded.

notro man
Aug 23, 2006
Maybe you could e-mail him and offer to identify the model of his BMW as well as adding some details about the car, potentially raising the final selling price by hundred's if not THOUSANDS of dollars! Only $599.95

notro man
Aug 23, 2006

OmniCorp posted:

Honda Accord/Jaguar


Hah hah, that made me laugh. There's another incarnation of speed and class (the dent in the hood is actually for downforce to keep those front wheels planted at speed).

notro man
Aug 23, 2006

Mr. Apollo posted:

Why is he paying $500 a month on an eleven year old 328?

Probably for the same reason he's trying to get someone to take over his payments right now... lovely financial decisions lead to lovely interest over time.

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notro man
Aug 23, 2006

Two Finger posted:

Ugh, I hate to keep posting trademe links in here but it's our equivalent of craigslist.
This Honda ticks pretty much every box possible - it even has stage two cams!
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/Cars/Honda/auction-160794864.htm

I don't know what's better, this

quote:

Note.. Has been spray painted with spray cans, could do with good wet and dry sand. Looks good from a distance ha-ha
or this

quote:

Will be given a wheel alignment and balance before it goes
spent alota mony on it nxt step woz turb but lost intrest mi loss ur gane!!!.its atchuly a bloody fast honda nt meany ov tham lol

:suicide:

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