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Tindjin posted:Throwing my question in here first.. This is an amazing idea. I would marry anyone on earth who proposed with a corvette stingray. It really doesn't matter who... hey AI, any takers?
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| # ¿ Sep 13, 2008 01:00 |
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| # ¿ May 21, 2013 12:18 |
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Vital Signs posted:Ran into a problem. Johnny and I were pretty much set on a deal. He gave me a great price with appraisal paperwork included. My girlfriend however, does not like the idea that the diamond only has a written appraisal/"is from the internet" and is not lab certified. She had some horror story of her mom having trouble getting a repair done, and as a result is giving me a giant headache. I know from this this thread that Johnny is a stand up guy, and I have no worries about him. Can you guys think of anything I can tell her to make this still possible, or am I going to have to go storefront and empty my pockets for lab certified? Tell her that while she's welcome to buy you a diamond ring from anywhere she'd like, you're going to be buying her ring off the internet.
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| # ¿ May 13, 2010 00:17 |
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JohnnyRnR posted:Emasculatrix is my hero. I'm pretty sure that any woman who truly cares about the worth of her ring must be keeping it in mind as a backup plan for after the divorce...which is fair enough, given the circumstances. When my turn comes, instead of a ring, I'll be asking for half of the title on the house.
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| # ¿ May 13, 2010 04:04 |
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It makes sense to get some direct input in terms of design, since she'll be wearing it a long time. When it comes to financial details, however, that should be left to whoever pays for it. You wouldn't buy a birthday gift for someone and expect them to ask how it holds up for resale.
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| # ¿ May 13, 2010 16:25 |
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CubsWoo posted:I'm hoping for some advice on how to deal with a difficult situation regarding the rehearsal dinner, coming up in a little over a month. Background: The wedding will be in my fiance's hometown, a good two-day drive from where my mother (who's doing the dinner,) my fiance and I live now, so a lot of the planning is being done long-distance. Her family has offered up their house/backyard for a big pary, but Mom's refused. She's said she wants it to be at a restaurant and I think she's finally decided on a local place recommended by my fiance. Just out of curiosity, when you plan on marrying your fiancee are you going to start supporting your wife, or are you going to continue to act like a giant man baby who will sacrifice your marriage for the sake of avoiding a confrontation with your mom? What I'm trying to say here is that your mom is completely out of line and your fiancee is a fool if she marries someone who puts her in the position you've just put her in. You need to tell your mom you're either including these people, or you'll host your own rehearsal dinner. Then you need to apologize to your fiancee.
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| # ¿ Jun 15, 2010 06:27 |
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CubsWoo posted:So far all the confrontation has gone through me - I've been firm with her that I want those people there as well. Sorry for not including that! Before posting this, I spoke with her (since, again, she won't discuss this with my fiance) and told her we weren't going if they weren't invited. Her response was basically "Fine, if you don't want to accept what I'm able to do for you, you're both spoiled and ungrateful and you don't have to be there." It sounds like as long as your mom is in charge, it can't be salvaged. By your quotes, it's clear she doesn't respect either of you or your wishes. You should consider having a catered dinner at your fiancee's family's house, and inviting your mother on the condition she remember her manners.
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| # ¿ Jun 15, 2010 06:37 |
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But why don't the men have to give up their names? Why aren't new husbands addressed as Mr. Wife's-Last-Name? I mean, it's not an ugly piece of furniture, it's an identity. I don't see how it's right simply because it's old-fashioned.
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| # ¿ Aug 12, 2010 02:49 |
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I dunno, Zombie's post was very persuasive, what with all the bolding and underlining and internet quotes. edit: forgot the italicizing
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| # ¿ Apr 22, 2011 15:41 |
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My childhood best friend just successfully pressured her med-school boyfriend into proposing. He gave her a 1 carat princess cut diamond ring. I know there's a lot more to diamonds than just the size, but I was wondering how big that is compared to the average size people buy. Just for perspective.
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| # ¿ Aug 28, 2011 21:03 |
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PopRocks posted:Emasculatrix - "average" is relative. Jobs, class, family background, values, etc. all play into ring size. I have no idea if it's big or small, because I have no frame of reference to tell if it's exceptionally large or small or about average. I'm not even sure how large a carat is. I don't really care, I was just curious because I was so clueless. But I take it that it's on the smallish to average range, which seems reasonable since he's a student.
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| # ¿ Aug 28, 2011 22:52 |
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PopRocks posted:Have you not seen it in person? The ring npd2004 is Just over 1/3 that size and it's beautiful. Not yet, I'll see it at her engagement party next weekend. I'm not really a jewelery person (being allergic to metal will do that to you), but I know that it's important to her and she's really into Tiffany & Co and stuff like that. npd2004's ring looks like a respectable size (or maybe his fiance has super tiny hands), so I'm thinking my friend's must be gigantic.
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| # ¿ Aug 28, 2011 23:35 |
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Closet Nerd posted:When did a carat become small? My center diamond is 1.1 and people ask me all the time if it is two carats or say wow nice rock (embarrassing). I happen to have smaller fingers which makes it look bigger, but I think a carat is more than perfectly acceptable, I wouldn't want larger for myself. Maybe it's not, I just thought it might be in the small range because Poprocks said that he could buy her a bigger one later on when he had an income. I have no idea...  I'm sure she's happy with it anyway, she's been pushing him to get married for a while now, so I can't imagine she'd be picky about the ring.
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| # ¿ Aug 29, 2011 00:00 |
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I just got engaged, and now need to negotiate a pretty large compromise with my partner. He's estranged from his family, and doesn't like parties, dancing, or generally being the center of attention. I adore parties and dancing, and want to have a wedding to celebrate our relationship with my friends and family. I don't want him to be miserable, but I also know I would regret just going to city hall like he wants to do. What are some ways to make a wedding fit both of our ideas? I don't know much about how they work, but my idea so far was to have a brunch wedding without dancing. Emasculatrix fucked around with this message at Jan 18, 2012 around 22:55 |
| # ¿ Jan 18, 2012 22:46 |
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Is there a place to rent or buy used David's Bridal bridesmaid dresses? So far I've looked at Craigslist and recycledbride. My friend, who I adore and would be willing to wear many things for, has just assigned me a horrifically expensive dress in a godawful color. Despite the fact that I am nonworking graduate student planning my own wedding, I really want to make this work for her.
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| # ¿ Jan 25, 2012 19:37 |
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Ben Davis posted:You can try searching for the model number on Google shopping. Unless it's an apple red dress, then buy it from me, because I'm never wearing that thing again. I wish! It's in "clover" green, a color I could have gone my whole life without wearing, much less spending $200 on.
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| # ¿ Jan 28, 2012 17:57 |
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pastor of muppets posted:I was initially going to pay for my bridemaids' dresses, but unfortunately there just isn't room in our budget for me to do that. As a trade-off I'm letting them pick out their own dresses. Luckily, they all love the shade of teal I've picked and it looks good on all three of them. I'm going through Alfred Angelo for all our dresses, and they have a huge selection of bridesmaid dresses for a reasonable price. I would feel awful making them pay hundreds of dollars for dresses they're not even going to be able to wear again. I don't mean to sound rude but do you REALLY think they're going to wear the dresses again, even if they like the color? Where are they going to wear them? Do you think they'd feel comfortable telling you they don't like the color/cut/cost/whatever? Bridesmaid dresses usually look like bridesmaid dresses, so there's really only so many places one can wear them, even if you don't hate the dress. My bride keeps talking about how flattering her choice is, and it's like her and I are looking at entirely different dresses.
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| # ¿ Jan 29, 2012 17:08 |
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I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to be rude. This is just incredibly frustrating, and I really don't understand the logic behind it. I'm planning to tell her that I can't afford the dress and shoes, with plenty of time (to do what? Find someone to replace her oldest friend over a green dress?). It's just mindblowing to me that these sort of expectations are considered reasonable, or an honor. When she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I asked her to be considerate of the fact that I am barely scraping by on student loans, and then she drops this and a request for a Vegas bachelorette party.
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| # ¿ Jan 29, 2012 17:41 |
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Well, I called the bride and explained my financial situation and how I wasn't sure how to pay for her dress. I asked if I could buy a used dress in a different style, but the same color. And she said she'd have to think very hard, because it was very important to her that we all match. She told me to think about if I'd be able to handle all the expenses and get back to her about if I want to be in her wedding party. Then she suggested I put everything (shoes, dress, bridal shower expenses, trip to vegas, makeup, hotel room, etc) on my charge card. I guess the ball's back in my court, but that conversation definitely cleared up a bit for me.
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| # ¿ Jan 30, 2012 19:40 |
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Macintyre posted:Wow. "Put it on your credit card" is a pretty harsh reply. I'm guessing she doesn't deal with financial matters much? It was even more ballsy. She said, "I completely understand because I was just in a wedding when I was unemployed, and what I did was put everything on my credit card. So there's that idea."
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| # ¿ Jan 30, 2012 19:51 |
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I think I'm going to keep an eye out for a used dress over the next few months, and if I can't find it by April (her wedding is in September), I'll bow out. If I can find one, I have no problem skipping the bachelorette party trip or telling the other bridesmaids that I can only put in a bit for her bridal shower. The tricky thing is that she's in my wedding party as well, but I'm not asking anyone to buy dresses or throw me parties. And we've been friends for 20+ years.
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| # ¿ Jan 30, 2012 20:01 |
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ExtrudeAlongCurve posted:Wow. Well, I'm her oldest friend, but we're not BFFs or anything. We live pretty far apart and get together for coffee a few times a year to catch up. And, of course, we genuinely care about each other and each other's families. The reason I complained to the internet instead of talking to her is because she's kind of a bridezilla and I didn't want to freak her out unnecessarily, especially when I hadn't figured out what I was going to do. When I called her, I was expecting that she'd offer to help me out with the dress, or give me alternative dresses. And maybe this is strong language, but what I got from our conversation was a very friendly-worded hint that I need to buy my way into her wedding. She kept saying not to worry, but instead of meaning, "don't worry, we'll find a way to keep you in the party," it was, "don't worry too much if you can't afford to be in the wedding, because I'm so understanding of your financial state." Emasculatrix fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2012 around 20:22 |
| # ¿ Jan 30, 2012 20:15 |
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Gravitee posted:What style clover dress? That's the same color I picked out for my bridal party. It's this dress. I might be able to do some odd jobs and buy the dress once it goes on clearance, but then she wants me to buy green shoes too. WeaselWeaz posted:Did you ask her to be part of your bridal party first? It sounds like she believes she is doing this for your benefit, not that it's important to her. Saying you should just put it on your credit card is pretty selfish. She asked me to be in her bridal party first. I'm going to give it a bit more time, since I've only been looking for a week or so. Hopefully something will pop up soon. If it won't, I guess I'm just going to have to pull out of the wedding party. Obviously I'm not going to do it, but in my imagination it's a little tempting to tell her that for my wedding I want her to wear a $300 orange dress and take me to Cabo for my bachelorette party.
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| # ¿ Jan 31, 2012 01:30 |
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GauchoMatador posted:Along those lines, I've informed my darling bridesmaids that if they insist on a Vegas bachelorette party (and they do) that their airfare is their gift to me. Not to mention all the other expenses they're already incurring for the wedding...no gifts, please! Wait, we're supposed to give wedding gifts as well?! 
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| # ¿ Feb 1, 2012 07:40 |
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WeaselWeaz posted:Yes, but you can spend less than if you were just a guest. You should really go to The Knot and read a list of traditional bridesmaid responsibilities since that's what the bride expects. I've started planning but stopped reading those websites and books because they were so ridiculous. As for my own wedding "team," all I've asked them to do is offer help as they want, party with me the night before, and show up to the wedding wearing whatever they want. Some of my friends have expressed an interest in helping me make invitations, cupcakes, etc. I guess I should look up traditional bridesmaid duties. I guess I just assumed that she wouldn't ask me to do anything I couldn't easily do for her...because I'm her friend.
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| # ¿ Feb 1, 2012 17:14 |
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I'm still not quite sure what's going on with my bride, but I called her and said that I'd be willing to spend my tax return on her dress but it meant I wouldn't be able to participate in any other way, financially-speaking. I told her that I wanted her to have the "bride experience" she wanted, so if she wanted to replace me with someone who could give her the rest, I'm sure I could find another way to support her. She told me she'd think about it, and talk to the other girls to see how they felt about me "getting the same title without any of the responsibilities."  I think the conversation went better than I'd expected, and she'll give me an answer this weekend. While I'm a little bummed she doesn't appreciate the fact that I'd spend my precious tax return on her, I was pleasantly surprised that she didn't immediately throw me out of the wedding. On the other hand, this experience coupled with my own crazy mom has really turned me off of planning my own wedding. I'm tempted to just elope, although I guess the rational thing to do is just back burner it for a while and see how I feel in few months.
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| # ¿ Feb 9, 2012 05:37 |
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PopRocks posted:Emasculatrix, you've been friends since you were kids, do you feel comfortable with her family? Is there any way you can call her mom and suss out the situation? Maybe she's feeling pressure from the groom's family, are they more well-off? It migh be good to talk to someone involved (like the mother of the bride) but less overwhelmed than the bride herself. If you're familiar/ close with her parents, that is. If she has sisters that might also do the trick, as they're probably bridesmaids too. Her fiancé's family is MUCH wealthier than her own, and they're throwing her a lavish wedding that her mother could never hope to match. So I think that plays a role, in addition to the more influential fact that she's dreamed of her wedding since we were kids. So she's really wrapped up in the idea of achieving her dream day. I think at this point I'll just wait to hear her decision this weekend. Either I'll go as a guest or I'll buy the dress and call it my gift. If that's disappointing to her, it's just the best I can do. Edit: As long as I'm wasting internet space to complain about dumb wedding related issues, my real sister has decided not to go to my engagement party because she wants to go to a street fair. I'm not inflexible on the date, but I chose it because it's my birthday and I thought it'd be more convenient for my guests to hang out on the same date. I want her to be there, but I'm also really hurt that she prioritized me so low. Should I change the date for her? Emasculatrix fucked around with this message at Feb 9, 2012 around 21:30 |
| # ¿ Feb 9, 2012 21:11 |
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Toriori posted:Maybe you should talk to any other siblings you might have about her and see if they're okay with her being your sibling and getting the same title without any of the responsibilities. Knockknees posted:As annoying as it is, I would give her a pass. She still has a chance to come to your bridal shower and your bachelorette party. When she misses those, then you can get pissed Emasculatrix fucked around with this message at Feb 10, 2012 around 16:44 |
| # ¿ Feb 10, 2012 03:31 |
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Are "plantation themed" weddings a thing now? I'm in a destination wedding package contest and some of the other couples are throwing these. It's kind of mind-blowing to me that white people would travel to the south to throw a plantation wedding.
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| # ¿ Feb 20, 2012 17:13 |
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My mom is sending out invitations to our engagement party, but I'm a little confused on how to handle some of the guests. I know you're not supposed to invite anyone who wouldn't be invited to the wedding, but two of my closer friends live with an acquaintance. Is it rude if I don't invite the third?
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| # ¿ Mar 24, 2012 18:31 |
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I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise, but the bride who I've been having issues with (over the expensive dress I can't afford) sent an email out of the blue to us bridesmaids with the subject line, "Stephanie's Bridal Shower." It details what kind of party she wants, where she'd like it to be, when it should be, and who to invite. I thought we were supposed to plan the party for her. I am starting to understand how people's friendships fall apart when a wedding is involved. Between this, my dress, and the fact that she didn't invite me when I'd asked to come along while she looked at wedding dresses, I am feeling very used.
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| # ¿ Apr 5, 2012 00:57 |
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Psychobabble posted:If you want "tablescapes" you have to pay for them. I worked for a florist doing weddings through high school and college, and I've never heard the term "tablescapes" before. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you have some places to trim the budget if you want.
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| # ¿ Apr 20, 2012 22:44 |
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I found my ring on etsy. It's not unique, but unusual and it's from far enough away that I seriously doubt I'll run into someone else with one. I guess if that ever happens, we can congratulate each other on our good taste! I've just never been a fan of diamonds (or of the premise of digging up tons of earth to find shiny rocks), and if I hadn't found this one I probably would have asked for a lab-created gemstone. But, since I proposed, it meant that I got to pick out my own ring! He could have exchanged the one I proposed with, but he decided to keep it. 
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| # ¿ May 2, 2012 15:19 |
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Butt Wizard posted:Looking for particular things on Etsy feels like looking for a needle in a haystack. Do you all have favorite Etsy shops for jewelry, or shops you looked at for rings? Thanks for that one link, Emasculatrix. I really like some of the stuff on there. You might also like this shop. But I'm also going to point out that it drives me crazy when I see women looking at rings and making pinterests when they're passively hoping someone will come along and propose to them. This is one gender role I can't wait to see die- it puts a lot of pressure and expectation on men, and it forces women to give up any say in determining the pace of the relationship. Grab the bull by the horns and make your own life happen, girl! If you want to get married, why don't you ask?
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| # ¿ May 2, 2012 23:08 |
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WeaselWeaz posted:It isn't a gender role issue, it's about having healthy communication....Personally, I'd have been pissed if my fiancee proposed to me. Planning a romantic proposal is something a man can be proud of. It wouldn't have happened, though. I'm all for communicating in a relationship, but what you just said there is a double standard for women and men AKA gender role. I planned an awesome proposal months in advance, spent hours picking out a ring for him, and then got down on one knee. I also have the right to be proud of the romantic proposal I planned, and so do other women. Why should you get that experience and pride just because you're the man? It sounds like Butt Wizard knows what's going on in her relationship, and that's fab. I'm speaking about all the women I've run into over the years who want to get married and are left dropping little passive hints and waiting around, because they don't feel it's okay to outright say what they want, or propose themselves.
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| # ¿ May 3, 2012 14:23 |
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WeaselWeaz posted:That's great that it worked for you and your relationship, and that's what really matters. Not gender roles and a double standard, but that it worked for your relationship. You have every right to be proud of that. Most couples probably would not want that, and my point was people can and should discuss a relationship without thinking they have to go as far as the woman proposing. Not to beat a dead horse, but the fact that you consider a woman proposing as extreme IS a double standard. I'm not saying that all women should propose, I'm saying that it's a messed up world where someone could get "pissed" at a woman for doing the same thing he did (proposing). The simple fact is that you can have all the discussions in the world with your partner, but ultimately you need to wait for someone to propose to formalize it. In a society where men are the ones who are "supposed" to propose, that shifts power away from women. I honestly think that whoever wants to get married/propose should have the support and encouragement to do it, regardless of their sex. If a woman wants their disney princess moment and they're willing to sit around waiting for it, that's their prerogative, but that also shouldn't be their only option.
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| # ¿ May 3, 2012 20:32 |
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On a more positive note, I dropped out of my friend's wedding party, no (lasting) hard feelings on either side. Clearly we both had very different expectations as to what being a bridesmaid should be like. I still think the whole "I want to honor you because you're special to me, but this honor is contingent on you spending lots of money to satisfy my every whim" thing is ridiculous, but our friendship will be more likely to last if I'm not resentfully bankrupting myself trying to meet her expectations. Camembert, you got me there. I prefer the romantic proposal myself, but it can be a silly and redundant tradition, that's for sure.
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| # ¿ May 4, 2012 03:17 |
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Personally, I'd feel like a walking target for muggers if my ring cost over $1,000. If my partner had spent 3 months salary on a ring I would live in fear of getting mugged or accidentally losing it.
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| # ¿ May 6, 2012 23:11 |
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So I've been trying to wrap my head around the concept of paying $$$ for a dress I could only wear once, especially since I'm only doing the big white dress because my fiance wants me to. And then I was dropping some stuff off at the thrift store earlier this week and found a brand new wedding dress for $6. What do you guys think? If I decide to keep it AND survive telling my mom I found a dress without her, then I was thinking of adding a sash or some ribbons or something to add some color.
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| # ¿ May 16, 2012 05:21 |
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Cool, thanks for the reassurances. On one hand, it's not really my style (I wanted to look like a pretty pretty princess with lots of lace and fluffiness) and because I'm so fair-skinned I was hoping for something ivory as opposed to diamond white. On the other hand, it's $6, and above anything I love a good deal. Also, I look rockin' in it. I was thinking I could buy some white lace and embellish the side, or put it on the bodice or under the skirt flap thing, just to soften it up. I guess my mom and I could always drink champagne and go to Britex Fabrics together, if she really wants that experience.
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| # ¿ May 16, 2012 17:32 |
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| # ¿ May 21, 2013 12:18 |
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I'm helping out for my friend (not the one from my earlier posts) and her fiancee's joint bachelor(ette) party at a local bar/pizza place. They want it to be really low-key, and on a weeknight to work with their schedules. I'm definitely going to honor that, but I'd also like to make it a just little more special than our normal meet-up-and-hang-out. Any ideas for ways I can make the night more memorable but still low-key?
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| # ¿ May 22, 2012 18:37 |
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