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Square Force One: Jan 27, 2008; by Eris Is Goddess

OK long story short: somehow I managed to qualify as a National Merit Scholar.

I was just sittin' around with my buddies talking about how we were going to escape to the Puddle of Mudd concert the next day [Tuesday] and whether or not we would need ID to get in and watching our social studies teacher pretend not to be eagerly listening in on a conversation a bunch of teenage girls are having about something they probably aren't supposed to be doing, and then about ten minutes later the school principal comes up to me and the following conversation happens.

PRINCIPAL: Congratulations, Hannah. This is a great honour. This hasn't happened to our school in a long time! (Extends arm for handshake.)
ME: What happened?

PRINCIPAL: You got it!
ME: Got... what?
PRINCIPAL: Listen, don't tell your mom I told you first because I'm sure she'd rather it be a surprise, but you made finalist status as a National Merit Scholar.
ME: Oh.

Now, me being me,

, <i>I just don't loving get it</i>. I just assume it's no big deal. Even after going through the scholarship offers, I'm still just like... yeah right, and pigs can fly, I've got some swampland I'd like to sell you in Arizona, all that great bullshit.

Well, as I'm finding out, I guess it is something of a rarity, if you go to school out in the middle of no where in any case. My graduating class of 43 has two kids who claim to be future roommates at Harvard (I'll believe it when I see it--it is more likely that RON PAUL becomes the President, though maybe not, they're both total DOUCHES), and neither of them is a National Merit Scholar! Hell, Jack only got a 24 on his ACT test, that's less than what I got and he does his homework.

The problem is that now all of my teachers are going all "concerned adult" on me because they think I might be smarter than I let off or something, which is just bullshit. Anybody who goes to a Chinese restaurant with mirrored walls, sees their own reflection, and goes up to their 'evil twin' to tell them IT'S ALL A LIE is probably a total moron. (That's right--I kept thinking this chick that looked just like me was staring at me, because we looked the same, you know, and we even appeared to have similar taste in clothing. So I got freaked out and I went over there and bonked my arm into a mirror... Hey, at least we know the glass is clean!)

I'm pretty much losing it. Now people think I'm this real smart kid or whatever, and I don't even really put any effort in. I didn't even remember to supmit a photo for the yearbook, they're going to have the only National Merit Scholar in the history of my school not to appear in the yearbook. Except dressed as a Viking attempting to "pillage the Vest Acres [shopping mall] for the jewels of Claire, the vimmen of Viktoria, and fight the foul Visigoths that gather in the dark cave of Hot Topic!"

I have no idea how this happened, honestly, I'm not at the top of my class, I do not participate in a bunch of alphabet-soup acronym Future _______________ of America type organisations, I am not in band or choir, I feel like either the victim or the lucky recipient of some great, karmatically-induced cosmic accident.

I mean, we're talking about somebody with an academic record of:
-Study halls
-Being sent to the school shrinky-dink numerous times, mostly because some teachers just have NO sense of humour
-Writing an honest-to-god report about my future career as the Pope, when I am both female and not even remotely religious
-Being the kid who actually doesn't get an A in state-mandated Family Living, because I am too busy throwing pencils at Sean and playing earthquake with the tables (YES omigod they have those formica tables in the FACS room like in kindergarten, only a bit bigger!).
-Or keyboarding. When I can type 135 wam error-free from years of being obnoxious on the Internet.
-Getting a 20% on a quiz about a chapter from the book 'The Great Gatsby' because I responded to the question, "Who or what is Gatsby?" by saying it was a boat. Well I got close to everything else just as wrong too, but that stands out in my mind as being the dumbest mistake.
-Making up the plot of every book I ever did a book report on.
-Having numerous comic books and magazines confiscated by teachers during silent read periods.
-Getting a 0 on the No Child Left Behind essay test thingy on those tests they give everyone, because I didn't read the directions and wrote my essay on why wolves and bears are stupid and so are environmentalists in cursive.
-Scoring in the 25th percentile (i.e. 75% of people did a better job) on the ACT essay test, when I'm pretty sure I read the directions.

Hell, I'm pretty sure I lowballed my math score the first time I took the PSAT test because I was still sitting out in the commons listening to Pink Floyd in my earphones and Mr. ------ came looking for me and then... yeah... I fell asleep during the test.

I don't know, I guess I'm just looking for advice from the amazing oracle that is the Internet, like pretty much everybody else on the planet with a computer.

I'm just an absolute screwball in real life (see the trainwreck that was the ND PRIMARY CRASHERS!!! thread on here for more of an indication), I have no loving clue how this happened. My life revolves largely around lying to my parents so that I can go places with friends and listening to/playing bad music, I never would have studied for the test or anything like some people claim they did.

I claim to be majoring in Electrical Engineering next year, mostly because Chemistry and Physics are the only things I ever seemed to be any good at and also, I just plain loving hate English/Econ/all that stuff... They've got 50 different kinds of elasticity in that class, and none of them involve spandexy clothing or collisions. Also, there is no determinant of elasticity, I looked for it and there really isn't one, plus they're stupid graphs and stuff have no bearing whatsoever upon reality, they're just like... if this happens, does this demand curve shift to the right or do we move along the curve to the right? And I'm going ???????, what the gently caress does that even mean? I mean I get graphing when it's real graphing but this fuzzy stuff where it's all like... if this happens, is it that? Does that make this happen on the graph? It's just ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I just don't know what to do, I guess, I used to want to be a TV news-reader lady for a really long time but I just don't look the part, I have self-cut Grace Slick hair, huge loving eyes and that whole bit.

It just sort of shocks me that this is happening to somebody who doesn't *care*, you know? I do things like leave Friday night for my birthday party and show up at home again around 9:30 AM Saturday still wearing my school clothes and get into heaps of trouble, but just sort of ignore my parents until they forget about it.

I dunno. Sorry if this post is pretty stupiddddd and probationable and stuff, I read the rules, maybe I'm just missing something. I don't even really know what I'm asking for here, I think I just wanted to rant and I don't want to feel like a braggart talking to my real-life friends.

Also. P.S. This is off-topic but Ron Paul got 21% in the North Dakota caucus election on Feb. 5, my Facebook group aimed more at HS seniors and the ones at NDSU and UND attracted a lot of people that really did show up to throw their votes away for Ron Paul! WOOHOO! And he actually get's delegates now, including this one guy I kinda sorda know. I accidentally hit this short guy with a yard sign waiting in line to vote, I had this big plastic one and this other guy in line ahead of me had the same sign and I was just like WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RON PAUL!!!!!! *Leaps into the air, whacking short guy in the process*. Yeah.

Sorry it's so long too.

Not abnormal behaviour, at all: I got locked into the school trophy cabinet.

How I will likely appear in the school yearbook.

My mum sent a bunch of balloons to the school. I realise that shirt is basically fugly but I like it.

I ARE A WINNAR lulz

Yeah. tldr; thing: I'm actually a moron, but somehow I made National Merit Scholar Finalist Status and now people think I'm smart or something. Yeah. I'm pretty sure when Mr. ---- told me I really needed to fill the paperwork for this out, I was just likeeee, "

So I'll be the first National Merit Scholar with MAGICAL TWIGGY EYES" because I had done the whole mod look because I was totally hitting on this guy who was actually flamingly homosexual and I just was in denial, but yeah. And then it was more like

because I was sitting in one of those swivelly chairs and I was like THAT IS AMAZING and I started spinning really fast and I banged the chair into a filing cabinet

EDIT one of my smilies didn't work

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Square Force One fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2008 around 23:55

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 21, 2013 16:27

Implosion Factory: Dec 13, 2006; Dude, high five!

Square Force One posted:

I ARE A WINNAR lulz

Sure are.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:52

Romanshoes: Dec 15, 2007; Haha! They're Roman shoes! Aren't I witty?

I vote clerical error.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:53

Desiato: Mar 8, 2006; Thy next foe is...

LOOK AT ME!!!

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:53

a shameful boehner: Oct 25, 2007

Square Force One posted:

I ARE A WINNAR lulz

Enjoy the time you have away from the forums to ponder what picture will be used in your yearbook!

efb

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:54

Colonel Pancreas: Jun 17, 2004

Square Force One posted:

Yeah. tldr; thing: I'm actually a moron, but somehow I made National Merit Scholar Finalist Status and now people think I'm smart or something. Yeah. I'm pretty sure when Mr. ---- told me I really needed to fill the paperwork for this out, I was just likeeee, " So I'll be the first National Merit Scholar with MAGICAL TWIGGY EYES" because I had done the whole mod look because I was totally hitting on this guy who was actually flamingly homosexual and I just was in denial, but yeah. And then it was more like :downsrims: because I was sitting in one of those swivelly chairs and I was like THAT IS AMAZING and I started spinning really fast and I banged the chair into a filing cabinet

I'm sorry. You're actually retarded. Their mistake.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:54

Competition: Apr 3, 2006; by Fistgrrl

You just gave me a stroke, I demand you return my left side mobility.

Competition fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2008 around 23:58

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:54

thehustler: Apr 17, 2004; I am very curious about this little crescendo

gently caress off.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:54

King Skinny Pimp: Oct 24, 2004; by T. Finn

You're retarded and nobody likes you and this was all a mistake and you're going to be called out in front of the whole school and forced to give back the plaque or whatever the gently caress.

Seriously, go get a loving livejournal if you want people to read long winded posts about your 'accomplishments.'

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:55

Mice Everywhere: Sep 7, 2007

You have a long neck.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:56

the chief: Nov 3, 2006; by angerbeet

You are a loving idiot. And not because of the behavior you described

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:56

terminal mehmet: Jul 11, 2003

Do you think this post will give you the attention you crave?

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:56

Sakamonster: Dec 6, 2006; by Tiny Fistpump

Hahahah congratulations on your ban

LOOK AT ME

GUYS

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:56

Large Hardon Collider: Nov 28, 2005; PARADOL EX FAN CLUB

I'm also a National Merit Scholar, one of two in my class of 300, ergo,

8=====D <------ EVERYBODY YOUR MOUTH GOES HERE

PS: OP you sound like a pretty crazy lay, call me sometime

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:56

Handlebar Mustache: Jul 10, 2007; Resistin' Western aggression ain't easy!

Square Force One posted:

I ARE A WINNAR lulz

Please insert

you failure

Edit:

Square Force One posted:

I can type 135 wam error-free from years of being obnoxious on the Internet.

You don't say

Handlebar Mustache fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2008 around 23:59

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:57

dirtysoundfx: Nov 14, 2003; Motherfucking banjo bear rockets through the sky!

Congratulations on posting this in the worst possible place on the Internet to do so.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:57

ExtraFox: May 21, 2003; ~all of these candy~

I got a full ride to a good college for being a National Merit Scholar.

You're just lucky (and ugly).

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:57

Paradox86: Apr 30, 2005; It's pretty simple. A friend and I agreed that birds are pretty pissed that they don't have arms. We decided this should be fixed.

Jesus Christ, this is going to be goooood.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:58

The Tao Jones: Oct 9, 2007; What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?

Let me just say, I like your odd charisma. But this thread can't turn out well. (Regards the other thing: just go with it. Perhaps you have a split personality, and the other one is a genius).

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:58

Big Wreck: Feb 8, 2004

Ah, more like Puddle of CRUDD amirite?

yeah...

eh

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:58

ed balls balls man: Apr 17, 2006

Am I just dumb as gently caress or is this a gimmick post?

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:58

Manos del Sino: Apr 12, 2004; Original Pony

Okay, actually, I'm going to buck the trend and offer a congratulations. It's actually something noteworthy and doesn't involve illicit sex, debauchery or a prolonged tale of heartbreak. Good going.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:58

I love blacks: Mar 24, 2003; Oh dear. Is that bannable?

I just don't understand what makes this an interesting story and no I would not only say that on the internet.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:58

FiftySquid: Oct 23, 2001; I am not an animal!

Ironic that your thread has no merit.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:58

WhaleFarmerJohn: Jul 13, 2003

This thread is a 5th in a class of 555 :awesome;

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:59

Large Hardon Collider: Nov 28, 2005; PARADOL EX FAN CLUB

FiftySquid posted:

Ironic that your thread has no merit.

okay that's it, GOLDMINE

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:59

16 Tons of Monkeys: Feb 11, 2008; Jerk.

What the gently caress, nobody cares about you. HAY INTERNET LOOK AT ME

Go gently caress yourself.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:59

Big Wreck: Feb 8, 2004

camuk19 posted:

Am I just dumb as gently caress or is this a gimmick post?

Also. P.S. This is off-topic but Ron Paul got 21% in the North Dakota caucus election on Feb. 5, my Facebook group aimed more at HS seniors and the ones at NDSU and UND attracted a lot of people that really did show up to throw their votes away for Ron Paul! WOOHOO! And he actually get's delegates now, including this one guy I kinda sorda know. I accidentally hit this short guy with a yard sign waiting in line to vote, I had this big plastic one and this other guy in line ahead of me had the same sign and I was just like WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RON PAUL!!!!!! *Leaps into the air, whacking short guy in the process*. Yeah.

# ? Feb 14, 2008 23:59