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Rocketfish
Jul 2, 2007

*pshew!*
Thanks!
So, are we killing nature dead? Or is she fighting back?

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Rocketfish
Jul 2, 2007

*pshew!*
Thanks!

Flint_Paper posted:

Judging by the first thread; nature will be drugged, undergo heinous surgical experimentation and be brought back blinking & bewildered before being forced to fight itself to pieces in a series of increasingly horrible battles which eerily reflect our own inner torment.

Only with rollerskating lions with cannons for arses. This should be fun.

loving A. Bring on the Zoofights!

Rocketfish
Jul 2, 2007

*pshew!*
Thanks!
I've a taste for mystery. An investment in future carnage in the way of 5 would be a fine investment indeed.

Rocketfish
Jul 2, 2007

*pshew!*
Thanks!
Weaker minds might be seduced by the gleam of metal on the Huge Manatee. He's a creature engineered for war, and to boot, he's got a nifty harpoon gun.

But where's the spunk? The excitement? The drive to kill? The Manatee reeks of weariness from past wars. And when your heart's not in it, how can the rest of you?

Even a broken creature could thwart a Tapoger alone. Their strength is not in flashy weaponry, or individual combat. Nay, friends, the Tapogers have numbers on their sides. Each will compensate for the other's weakness, and in the end, with proper walloping (drat all to strategy), the Manatee doesn't stand a chance. Let the sea-cow's carcass float in bilge water where it belongs!

This vote is for Brawn over Brains. This vote is for the Tapogers.

Rocketfish
Jul 2, 2007

*pshew!*
Thanks!
Bugger you goons and your metal fetish! You'll root for anything that clanks! :argh:

Rocketfish
Jul 2, 2007

*pshew!*
Thanks!


Cheers folks. The naturalist here, reporting in with some extensive research on these fine abominations and their predecessor animals.

The Rabble pays homage to the Eurasian Badger. This particular Badger carries on the proud species tradition of eating absolutely anything they can fit their jaws around. The creatures are also known for their fearlessness and tenacity. They will fight anything and everything, to the death if need be. In recent news, baiting has been outlawed in Great Britain... not that that particular law applies here.

Tigerhands is primarily a Rhinoceros unicornis, or "Great One Horned Rhino", the largest Rhinoceros living today. This brute dwarfs his cousins from the Great Serengeti, both in bulk and horn size. The record for the beast was over 3500 kilos! The creature's skin possesses folds and creases to create the illusion of impenetrable armor, and while his numbers dwindle in Asia, those who still live in Africa are the second-deadliest animals in the entirety of the land.

His hands are severed heads of Royal Bengal Tigers, the biggest of the big cats. The heads themselves are dangerous enough without the rest of the animal. Each has the bite pressure of nearly 500 kilos. Even with their teeth removed, they have enough bite force to snap a human skull in two!

Yet, for all the praise of Tigerhands, the strength of the Rhino is in the charge. Upright, he is an awkward and ill-conceived fighter. With the townsfolk baiting the great badger, he is sure to rip this abomination to bits. This man of science casts his vote for the Rabble.

Rocketfish fucked around with this message at 02:32 on Apr 11, 2008

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Rocketfish
Jul 2, 2007

*pshew!*
Thanks!

Lost Downtown posted:

Does the rhino control the arms and just the actual tiger heads are independent or do the tiger heads have control of the arms back to the shoulders? It won't matter how good the tiger's eyesight is if the rhino can't see where to direct them.



The eyesight point is a moot one, friend. Firstly, I have my doubts as to whether Edward's brain is wired to receive visual synapses from the bodiless Tiger maws attached to his hands, and the Rhinoceros doesn't rely on eyesight to destroy whoever dares challenge it; a Rhino uses his charge.

This Rhino, while delightful in macabe novelty, is a fish out of water. He cannot charge his foes, and his stumpy limbs give little to swing the ferocious heads. Therein lies the Rabble's ability to exploit this weakness through vast numbers, and the sheer ferocity and fighting spirit of the Eurasian Badger.

If Edward was a four-legged Rhino with a Royal Bengal Tiger head, whatever small resemblance of hope you religious men cling to, to assure yourself that there is a merciful god, well... it better pay out, for death would be knocking at all of our doors.