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Holy poo poo, yes. I was here for the second Zoofights thread and managed to find the text of the original one one some blog, they were awesome. Are either of them in the goldmine?
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Apr 8, 2008 22:15
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Gotta go with 4
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Apr 8, 2008 22:56
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Drewjitsu posted:Voting 4 as it you can't beat the croc jaws + wings combination. It looks like Ridley from Metroid (which is why I voted for it)
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Apr 8, 2008 23:15
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I'm changing my vote from 4, which doesn't have a chance, to 11. 10 looks pretty promising, but I voted against it on the slim-but-present possibility that it's actually the incest train. 
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Apr 9, 2008 01:14
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Well, the first thing we have to consider is morale. That said, Reanimammut has the advantage here. Since it is Russian, it must be "pess droonk"- a formidable advantage, as we can see from the classic French Army vs. English Soccer Hooligans match. Drunkenness is a powerful motivator, as it'll forget about how much it misses the Ice Age in order to unleash Hell on the hapless Steamcrab. Second is mobility. Neither has much. Reanimammut may barely be able to walk, but Steamcrab is heavily weighed down (most of its four tons are its armor.) Furthermore, Steamcrab's out of its element even more than Reanimammut is; it can't be used to fighting on dry land. Reanimammut has a small but critical advantage here. Third is the all-important olfactory factor. Ever been to the elephant house at the zoo? Now imagine how it would smell if all the elephants were covered in thick, filthy hair. Then imagine how bad it would smell if all the elephants were rotting. I don't know how good a crab's sense of smell is, but it wouldn't have to be great for Steamcrab to be at a huge disadvantage here. I will admit that there are points in Steamcrab's favor. This was early in Rasputin's career (he was, after all, only an infant in 1870), so Reanimammut may be a bit sloppily constructed. Also, some would cite Russia's defeat in the Russo-Japanese War as points in Steamcrab's favor, but that's 35 years in the future at this point, so I feel that it could be discounted. I would be shocked to see Steamcrab put up much of a fight. EDIT: Another factor that cannot be denied- Steamcrab's exposure to Japanese culture has made him an enormous pervert who will be too distracted by the women in the audience to have his guard fully up. Yes, I know, this is 1870, but  evidence of perversion among Japanese sea life was well known by then.
Cotton B. Gross fucked around with this message at 02:45 on Apr 9, 2008 |
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Apr 9, 2008 02:26
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You guys are really overrating Steamcrab's reliability. How is he powered? By steam. That technology was fairly new in 1870. In contrasts, the dark arts are as old as our Dark Lord Cthulhu (pbuh), and far less likely to backfire. Another factor: Allies. Under most circumstances, this would be a wash, as no allies would be able to enter the highly secured arena. But these are special circumstances, and I have to give this factor to Reanimammut. What? you say. How can a member of an extinct species have allies backing him up? Well, recent research has shown that not only do a small number of mammoths survive to this day, but that the most famous surviving mammoth is a master of the ninja arts, having hidden himself from all adults in his neighborhood for nearly fifteen years. Sure, this takes place long ago, but I'm sure such advanced stealth techniques are a mammoth art that stretches back centuries.
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Apr 9, 2008 03:12
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Voting for 4 because it looks like a cross between Kraid and Ridley from Metroid.
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Apr 9, 2008 22:01
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I managed to sneak in a picture of the damaged #10- it appears that whoever sabotaged it also defaced it, replacing its head with some cartoonish freak.
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Apr 9, 2008 23:18
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Voting 5 (just like I did to the thread)
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Apr 9, 2008 23:49
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Hey, could we get a vote count on the Reanimammut-Steamcrab match? Thanks. Voting for the manatee. Not only is he tough, but his species can get rather amorous at times.
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Apr 10, 2008 00:39
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I stand by my vote for the manatee. He's just got too many advantages. The only way the tapogres can make it competitive is if Mr. Wu runs interferences in revenge for the Opium Moon War.
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Apr 10, 2008 00:55
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Voting for Kridley (4)
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Apr 10, 2008 21:27
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The Rabble, mostly because tigers only attack from behind, and they have no reason to turn their backs on Edward Tigerhands.
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Apr 11, 2008 00:08
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Libby's eyes clearly have some sort of hypnotic power. Combined with the fact that the tiger heads will only attack when the Rabble's backs are turned (which they won't do), all the attacks Edward Tigerhands has left are crushing the Rabble with his feet. Inevitably, Taima is the first to go.
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Apr 11, 2008 02:10
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Mr. Bad Guy posted:Have you seen a Rhinocerous piss before? It's like a goddamn fire hose! Yes, I have. And while it is like a fire hose, Edward would have to turn his back on his opponents in order to do it, an incredibly unwise choice. Probably http://youtube.com/watch?v=HLWhdlvtPF8&feature=related
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Apr 11, 2008 05:06
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What's the status of little Libby? For that matter, what of the vile Taima Sandcooch? And are beasts 10 and 12 still out of commission?
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Apr 11, 2008 22:11
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All men play on 10. If 10's still incapacitated, my backup choice is 4.
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Apr 11, 2008 22:22
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This is pure speculation on my part, but 2 looks like some kind of mutated koala.
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Apr 11, 2008 22:27
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Yeah, I'll have to go with the Crocodevil by default. If killing the demon didn't kill the wings, I don't know what will.
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Apr 12, 2008 02:17
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Crocodevil might actually do better if its wings get severed- the fireproof wings could just fly into Bastard Shark's mouth and rip it up from the inside.
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Apr 12, 2008 03:50
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1. I'm still not sure what it is.
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Apr 13, 2008 20:11
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If Ultraphant hasn't bashed his own head in while hunting elephants, I don't see any chance of it happening here.
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Apr 14, 2008 03:22
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Voting 1. My wild guess for what it is: a gorilla on a motorcycle.
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Apr 14, 2008 21:45
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Hellpotamus will wait a while to enter the ring; Pandamander will probably be so excited that it empties its rifles, which, as mentioned above, it has no way to reload. Meanwhile, the chimp can just shoot the revolver while Hellpotamus stays a safe distance away, and if he runs out of ammo, Hellpotamus' close game is much stronger anyway. EDIT: I changed my vote after Major Failure confirmed that the Pandamander can reload. Cotton B. Gross fucked around with this message at 08:43 on Apr 15, 2008 |
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Apr 15, 2008 02:06
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Major Failure posted:There is definite reload capability. Bullet glands. I'm going to change my vote to the Pandamander, then.
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Apr 15, 2008 08:42
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Project K in a landslide, for it possesses The RAGE (TM). Also, magically constructed creatures haven't been doing very well in this tournament.
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Apr 16, 2008 03:25
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Another advantage for Project K: It's a koala and is therefore related to the deadly drop bear, who will drop onto the Mess from the arena's ceiling.
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Apr 16, 2008 03:49
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Major Failure posted:Could it be that the rage and the frenzy is just a mask, a tragic act to disguise a broken and profoundly sensitive soul?...[/i] My prediction: No.
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Apr 16, 2008 20:48
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Lost Downtown posted:As Reanimammut is a zombie, its brain will be destroyed and the fight will end immediately. You're forgetting that Reanimammut was reanimated by dark magic as opposed to a vague plot device, and is not subject to Romero zombie rules. I'm going with him. Also, the series of tubes in Ultraphant will probably get clogged up at some point, rendering it immobile.
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Apr 19, 2008 20:04
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Tapogres vs Necronomitron.
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Apr 21, 2008 02:08
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The Mess. I'd vote for anyone over a fuckin' Papist.
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Apr 21, 2008 04:18
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Tapogres for the win, Edward is just too crippled.
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Apr 21, 2008 18:16
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What the hell? The Tapogres got like 3 times as many votes as Edward Tigerhands.
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Apr 22, 2008 00:00
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...Onward into the heart of battle Fought Drillbjorn Blood poured fourth from his wounds Deep into the earth Vultures waited for the broken shell That once was his body But Odin alone would choose the day He would enter Valhalla And in his hour of need He sent forth unto him THE BERSERKER RAGE Now god and bear He rose up from the ground Screaming like a wild animal Such is the gift of absolute power No blade or weapon would harm him He hacked through claw and rivet alike And all who stood before him died that day! HAIL, GOD OF WAR!
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Apr 22, 2008 00:51
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I, too, vote for the Iron Manatee. He's got enough weaponry to aim in several directions, so the Drop Bear will end up impaled coming from any which way.
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Apr 24, 2008 00:04
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Subterroranean in the first match. It almost destroyed the stadium, there's no way a tank will be much trouble. Ultraphant in match two. I'm still not voting for a loving Papist.
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Apr 27, 2008 19:21
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Yeah, I'm going with Bisoncopter mostly due to the lightning and the fact that its opponent's in the water. If it weren't for the lightning, I would probably go the other way, as the bison's engine is still experimental and could easily screw up.
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Apr 28, 2008 21:25
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Thy next foe is... All the Two Drunk Guys have to do is hold their bottles up to the light in order to find the Great White Shitkicker's weak point. It'll be so confused when they climb up his back that it will have no idea what to to, and it's not designed to fight tiny creatures that are climbing up on its body.
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May 1, 2008 22:36
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Gotta go with Gravatee. Even if he didn't have control over gravity, Krustus would be weighed down by its armor (Mars has much lower gravity than earth, and the Martians aren't used to higher gravity).
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May 8, 2008 02:58
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| # ¿ Apr 19, 2024 12:32 |
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Was that Phazon on the manatee's back?
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May 10, 2008 16:55
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