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Naramyth posted:Episode III is the best of the series. avatar/post, avatar/post, avatar/post
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 04:39 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 20:26 |
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Bozos not checking what an end user means by some horribly ambiguous definition and instead just implementing something, which is of course massively wrong, loses vast amounts of money, and requires a huge effort involving 20 people to fix, all of which could have been avoided with a 5 second phone call to someone who had a clue Big SQL joins where none of the columns in the select statement have table prefixes
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 13:26 |
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lenitic posted:Big SQL joins where none of the columns in the select statement have table prefixes Yes, this. And also big SQL joins involving long table names where none of the tables are aliased to something shorter.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 14:37 |
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Phone posted:Technically not "poo poo I come across daily that pisses me off", but "poo poo that I will come across soon enough that will piss me off": CFO put in a PO for $4200 for a laptop. From a few pages back, but my old boss spent like $4600 on an alienware laptop for himself. He's no longer with the company, so guess who got assigned to lug around and use a 10 pound laptop?
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 15:05 |
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Moey posted:From a few pages back, but my old boss spent like $4600 on an alienware laptop for himself. He's no longer with the company, so guess who got assigned to lug around and use a 10 pound laptop? Well come on, you have a reputation for being an awesome mover. What's 10lb compared to desktops all day? I like to picture you with biceps like Popeye.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 15:18 |
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rolleyes posted:Yes, this. And also big SQL joins involving long table names where none of the tables are aliased to something shorter. For that matter, sub queries that have over 5 columns in the group by clause
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 15:47 |
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Moey posted:From a few pages back, but my old boss spent like $4600 on an alienware laptop for himself. He's no longer with the company, so guess who got assigned to lug around and use a 10 pound laptop? You already move computers all day for a living, what's a laptop? Edit: You know, why doesn't your company just use laptops + docking stations considering how often stacy needs to move next to janey needs to move next to chloe or whatever?
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 16:57 |
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Janey needs her docking station moved because it's not the same.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 16:59 |
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Maggot Monster posted:Well come on, you have a reputation for being an awesome mover. What's 10lb compared to desktops all day? I like to picture you with biceps like Popeye. Good point, you must be super ripped by now. Post your daily routine in Watch and Weight or whatever it's called now.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 17:05 |
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Phone posted:Janey needs her docking station moved because it's not the same. That's fine; remove the docking station from all of the cables. As long as all of the cables stay there, it's not a problem. If they complain about the cables not being the same, just say that you moved the cable and close the ticket; they'll never know.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 17:07 |
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Pretty sure they make him move the desks, chairs, giant boulders, washing machines, water fountains, fruit orchards and anything else they happen to include in this little games of Musical Offices.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 18:11 |
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Volmarias posted:That's fine; remove the docking station from all of the cables. As long as all of the cables stay there, it's not a problem. Nonono, you don't understand. They're the same exact Part # and model, but they're "not the same" and "not mine".
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 18:50 |
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The latency is slightly different! This is affecting production.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 19:14 |
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Someone needs to introduce Time-To-Live into the pool of misused technology terms for office workers. You could get some real panic out of that when a manager uses it to describe their department's quick turnaround on projects or somesuch 
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 21:12 |
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You've been describing this project for 20 minutes now. Will you please grep to the point??
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 21:32 |
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AutoArgus posted:Someone needs to introduce Time-To-Live into the pool of misused technology terms for office workers. You could get some real panic out of that when a manager uses it to describe their department's quick turnaround on projects or somesuch I've seen projects you people wouldn't believe. Runtimes on fire off the shoulder of OpenOffice.org. I watched connections glitter in the dark near our gateway. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain. Time to die.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 21:56 |
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Salt Fish posted:You've been describing this project for 20 minutes now. Will you please grep to the point?? I don't know if you meant to type "grep to the point" or if you've just spent too much time working with the console. Also, it's obviously Project Jabberwocky. It's going to revolutionize the way you do business.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 21:58 |
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Ensign Expendable posted:Also, it's obviously Project Jabberwocky. It's going to revolutionize the way you do business. Nah, that got shipped to Japan.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 22:14 |
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Salt Fish posted:You've been describing this project for 20 minutes now. Will you please grep to the point?? I am stealing this phrase and using it whenever I want someone to hurry the hell up. Pure genius.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 22:22 |
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Just wait until you guys hear my sed puns.
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 23:23 |
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Salt Fish posted:Just wait until you guys hear my sed puns. 
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| # ? Jun 16, 2012 23:50 |
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balakadaka posted:For that matter, sub queries that have over 5 columns in the group by clause I spent the first month or so of my new job cursing the previous guy and his overly-complex queries. Now I look back at the stuff I've done since and its just as bad - sometimes there just isn't a clean way to get what you want out of a database.
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 00:27 |
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dissss posted:I spent the first month or so of my new job cursing the previous guy and his overly-complex queries. SELECT * FROM * You're welcome
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 00:53 |
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a.k.a. How to bring down an entire cluster in fifteen seconds.
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 00:57 |
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dissss posted:I spent the first month or so of my new job cursing the previous guy and his overly-complex queries. Sometimes the database doesn't give you much of a choice. MySQL's query planner mutilates correlated subqueries and basically plans it like it's going to do a full Cartesian join. Half the time the only solution is to put the subquery in the FROM clause to create a derived table. Or, MySQL is a joke.
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 02:27 |
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I bitch about [IT Guy] a lot but if there's one thing he's actually good at its writing me sql queries that don't suck, despite having to deal with some fairly convoluted way information is saved to our database.
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 03:07 |
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let me say this what would you draw the line at someone twice your age asking you about sexual preferences and such?
Corvettefisher fucked around with this message at Jun 17, 2012 around 04:05 |
| # ? Jun 17, 2012 03:44 |
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Not enough information. Possible options: laugh it off, play along, or ignore it. Someone would seriously have to be in my face and have already not taken no for an answer for me to even consider escalating at all. edit: lol have sex with her/him 
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 04:28 |
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VVVV probably will do or atleast talk about it with my IRL goon friend
Corvettefisher fucked around with this message at Jun 17, 2012 around 04:54 |
| # ? Jun 17, 2012 04:34 |
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You can always drop by the A/T kink thread, gather info on some fetishes, and then describe them in elaborate detail. Problem solved.
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 04:40 |
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Ensign Expendable posted:You can always drop by the A/T kink thread, gather info on some fetishes, and then describe them in elaborate detail. Problem solved. Or made worse if they say "Really?! Me too!"
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 09:52 |
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I am repeatedly called after hours by staff when I'm not on-call. It happens nearly every single weekend. We have an on-call rotation calendar and every tech has access to it. The tech pool manager knows about it and still won't do anything about it. "We'll look into that." YOTJ indeed.
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 19:11 |
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GOOCHY posted:I am repeatedly called after hours by staff when I'm not on-call. It happens nearly every single weekend. We have an on-call rotation calendar and every tech has access to it. The tech pool manager knows about it and still won't do anything about it. "We'll look into that." Can you not just refuse to answer numbers you don't recognise?
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 19:27 |
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rolleyes posted:Can you not just refuse to answer numbers you don't recognise? Just about to say this. Or just say "sorry I am not on duty... Look at the rota you retard".
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 19:41 |
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thegasman2000 posted:Just about to say this. Or just say "sorry I am not on duty... Look at the rota you retard". That's essentially what I did today. Sitting in a canoe in the middle of the river. The place that I work is completely dysfunctional at this point. Rats are jumping off the ship at record pace. It's time.
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| # ? Jun 17, 2012 19:48 |
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GOOCHY posted:I am repeatedly called after hours by staff when I'm not on-call. It happens nearly every single weekend. We have an on-call rotation calendar and every tech has access to it. The tech pool manager knows about it and still won't do anything about it. "We'll look into that." Call them back at 2AM during a weekday, ask for the numbers for the budget or something. When they complain, give the same excuse they gave you.
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| # ? Jun 18, 2012 00:45 |
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I've had an Asus G53 for the past 7 months and its been great. Then tonight I travel 1:30 hours, get it up stairs and boot it and it doesn't have any screen. The screen is just black (like, no power black). I calmly restarted a couple times and nothing helped. I did however hear the windows start sound so I thought that was some kind of releif, but if I would have to send this out its gonna suck not having my laptop for X number of weeks. The only thing I can think of that I did is when I was unloading my car I had by laptop in my bookbag (its got padding around it) and as I kept trying to squeeze into my backseat door to get my clothes my bookbag kept stopping me like 2 or 3 times before I realized because I had headphones in. So my laptop took the force of running into the corner of my car door as I tried to lean into the backseat. So following this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdQi2GMQRu8 I decide to look up how to disassemble this and hope that its just a jiggled monitor cable. I get the keyboard off and then say gently caress it as I couldn't get the slide for the palm rest or the smaller screws. Then I realize that there's a back panel not connected with the keyboard stuff that I could have just jumped to, but their screws were too small so I said gently caress it and just reassembled. Bam. The screen starts working. gently caress electronics. It either was a humidity issue (it rained here today and the laptop was in the car while I was driving with the windows down) and/or me bumping it a couple times. Unless it was a severe software problem because I was in "quiet office" power saving mode and shut it down on battery from there and started it plugged in with battery next time. But god drat, what a relief. I've had a number of problems that have fixed themselves by just doing nothing and letting it sit (these are usually humidity/temperature related) or opening and closing without even touch any cables. I've actually realized a couple times where in retrospect I realized that if I had just let it sit for a couple hours it probably would have started working, and that I hosed it up more and made it necessary to do work by fiddling with it and making permanent changes.
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| # ? Jun 18, 2012 03:19 |
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I can't even count the number of times I have fixed my computers throughout the years with a well placed punch! (Well generally it is just wiggling connections ect, but I have had a computer that decided it didn't want to move past POST and/or (randomly) the power button wouldn't even do anything, until I gave it a few well deserved thumps, works like a champ now.) I also like to punch squeaky fans until I get time to properly clean them.
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| # ? Jun 18, 2012 04:52 |
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Jotto posted:I can't even count the number of times I have fixed my computers throughout the years with a well placed punch! (Well generally it is just wiggling connections ect, but I have had a computer that decided it didn't want to move past POST and/or (randomly) the power button wouldn't even do anything, until I gave it a few well deserved thumps, works like a champ now.) Last time I punched a computer, I did it so hard the HDD stopped working. Probably slammed the read/write head into a platter or something. Toshiba replaced it for free even after I told them what happened, and right after they fixed it, there was a commercial on TV for their new Satellites with more shock-resistant HDDs. Maybe the 2010 Satellite I had had some kind of known problem with the HDD being especially sensitive to physical shock? poo poo I come across every day that pisses me off: My Ubuntu laptop can download ridiculously fast compared to my Win7 one. Ubuntu pulls down up to 1.4Mbps while Windows MAYBE does 100kbps. Makes downloading FNV and FO3, well, any Steam game really, a real pain in the rear end. The gently caress causes that? Nothing I've Googled has helped. D34THROW fucked around with this message at Jun 18, 2012 around 05:18 |
| # ? Jun 18, 2012 05:16 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 20:26 |
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D34THROW posted:poo poo I come across every day that pisses me off: My Ubuntu laptop can download ridiculously fast compared to my Win7 one. Ubuntu pulls down up to 1.4Mbps while Windows MAYBE does 100kbps. Makes downloading FNV and FO3, well, any Steam game really, a real pain in the rear end. I assume you're using wireless? Perhaps the ubuntu machines card is better/drivers are better (it could happen).
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| # ? Jun 18, 2012 05:54 |
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